56 votes

Drunk raccoon found passed out in Virginia liquor store

20 comments

  1. [2]
    GravySleeve
    Link
    Loved this bit:

    Loved this bit:

    One camper said the pig drank all 18 beers, then got involved in an altercation with a cow.

    21 votes
    1. Fiachra
      Link Parent
      That cow owes him money

      That cow owes him money

      11 votes
  2. [4]
    Asinine
    Link
    I wish the "news" media would take note of this... this is the actual news we need more of!

    I wish the "news" media would take note of this... this is the actual news we need more of!

    17 votes
    1. [2]
      babypuncher
      Link Parent
      I thought for sure it was being sensationalized when I first heard the headline, but nope, the actual story is exactly what it says on the tin. The raccoon being passed out by the toilet is the...

      I thought for sure it was being sensationalized when I first heard the headline, but nope, the actual story is exactly what it says on the tin. The raccoon being passed out by the toilet is the cherry on top.

      18 votes
    2. semsevfor
      Link Parent
      Agreed, this is the kind of news I want to hear

      Agreed, this is the kind of news I want to hear

      4 votes
  3. [2]
    slade
    Link
    Poor critter. I was happy to read that it sobered up and was released. I am intrigued.

    Poor critter. I was happy to read that it sobered up and was released.

    In Turkey, an obviously intoxicated brown bear cub was rescued from a forest by people after eating “mad honey”, or deli bal in Turkish – a substance produced in small quantities by beekeepers in the Kaçkar mountains above the Black Sea, where rhododendrons produce a potent neurotoxin and the honey that bees produce from it can induce a mildly hallucinogenic or euphoric state.

    I am intrigued.

    17 votes
    1. Thoughtninja
      Link Parent
      I wouldn't mind sampling this for science.

      I wouldn't mind sampling this for science.

      3 votes
  4. donn
    Link
    [noise] RimWorld type-beat

    [noise] RimWorld type-beat

    16 votes
  5. culturedleftfoot
    Link
    Cheeky bugger even made it to the porcelain altar!

    Cheeky bugger even made it to the porcelain altar!

    9 votes
  6. [8]
    Kale
    Link
    !!! I want this so badly!! Please give me fully domesticated raccoons.

    Raccoons have adapted to living in urban areas to such an extent that they are now showing physical changes that resemble early signs of domestication, a recent study found.

    Their snouts have become shorter than raccoons living in wild environments – a trait that domesticated animals tend to develop. Other traits are smaller teeth, curlier tails, smaller brains and floppier ears.

    !!! I want this so badly!!
    Please give me fully domesticated raccoons.

    4 votes
    1. [7]
      chocobean
      Link Parent
      I don't know, Kale, we don't even have fully domesticated cats yet. They self domesticated to hang out with us for food and shelter but can go back to being feral in one generation. Raccoons might...

      I don't know, Kale, we don't even have fully domesticated cats yet. They self domesticated to hang out with us for food and shelter but can go back to being feral in one generation. Raccoons might be like that for the next several thousand years

      8 votes
      1. [2]
        CannibalisticApple
        Link Parent
        I like to think cats domesticated us instead. They've done a good job at training us to be their servants! That said, I don't mind raccoons going that direction. If it gets to a point where we can...

        I like to think cats domesticated us instead. They've done a good job at training us to be their servants!

        That said, I don't mind raccoons going that direction. If it gets to a point where we can train them, they could make really good service animals since they can actually pick stuff up!

        7 votes
        1. Kale
          Link Parent
          I’m internally laughing at the potential for naughty activities having a household animal with hands. You’d have to lock up all your food and provide a lot of enriching activities. Totally worth...

          I’m internally laughing at the potential for naughty activities having a household animal with hands.

          You’d have to lock up all your food and provide a lot of enriching activities.

          Totally worth it to keep a trash panda as a pet though.

          5 votes
      2. [4]
        Kale
        Link Parent
        :( Guess I’m going to carve into my gravestone “I’ll give a thumbs up when we domesticate the raccoons” Super cool article, it was a pleasure to read. I fucking love cats.

        :(

        Guess I’m going to carve into my gravestone “I’ll give a thumbs up when we domesticate the raccoons”

        Super cool article, it was a pleasure to read. I fucking love cats.

        3 votes
        1. [3]
          chocobean
          Link Parent
          Well, not as a pet within our lifetimes, living under our thumbs. But, what about side by side as a friend?. Aye, we could probably do that.

          Well, not as a pet within our lifetimes, living under our thumbs. But, what about side by side as a friend?. Aye, we could probably do that.

          2 votes
          1. [2]
            TaylorSwiftsPickles
            Link Parent
            Aye, I eye eye eye

            what about side by side as a friend?

            Aye, I eye eye eye

            1 vote
            1. chocobean
              Link Parent
              Thanks for reminding me of the legless Lego Legolas' Lego lass meme as well. Good times.

              Thanks for reminding me of the legless Lego Legolas' Lego lass meme as well. Good times.

              2 votes
  7. nic
    Link
    I feel judged. I resemble this Raccoon more than I want to admit.

    “After a few hours of sleep and zero signs of injury (other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices), he was safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer,” the agency said.

    I feel judged. I resemble this Raccoon more than I want to admit.

    3 votes