caliper's recent activity

  1. Comment on NATO alphabet in ~talk

    caliper
    Link Parent
    Oh man, I want to be on a call with a random person where they say “…and R as in Rectum”. I would totally lose it and laugh uncontrollably.

    Oh man, I want to be on a call with a random person where they say “…and R as in Rectum”. I would totally lose it and laugh uncontrollably.

    5 votes

  2. Comment on Things to do when you've lost your job in ~talk

    caliper
    Link
    Talk to people, in person. I’ve found most of my jobs by talking to friends, friends of friends, etc. Ask people to have a coffee with you and tell you about their work because you’re not sure...

    Talk to people, in person. I’ve found most of my jobs by talking to friends, friends of friends, etc. Ask people to have a coffee with you and tell you about their work because you’re not sure what your next step in your career should be. Don’t ask if they are hiring! Bring some home baked cookies. Have a fun conversation. Ask lots of questions about their job, the industry, etc. If they think you’re a valuable addition to the team, they will ask you to formally apply. Rules and hiring freezes mean nothing if someone wants you on the team. Follow up with a “thank you”. If you feel it’s a place where you want to work, ask if they think a spot will open up soon.

    I’ve been on the interviewer side of the table many times and what I’m looking for is a personal connection. If someone is smart and seems like a good fit for the company culture, they will get the job regardless of missing checkboxes on their resume.

    6 votes

  3. Comment on Idle complaints of indebtedness and isolation in ~talk

    caliper
    Link
    You are in poverty, something I suspect not many here have been in. I come from a poor family, but we were never in the place you are. It seems like you are barely keeping your head above water....

    You are in poverty, something I suspect not many here have been in. I come from a poor family, but we were never in the place you are. It seems like you are barely keeping your head above water. You’re already listing a bunch of things breaking down and a big setback could get you in real trouble.
    Part of being in financial trouble is worrying and stress. This has a significant impact on your health. Take care of yourself and please don’t feel “others have it worse, so I shouldn’t complain”, because that is not true. You have a right to feel bad, it sounds like you are really in a very tough situation.

    Have you considered getting help? There is, or should be, no shame in going to food banks or soup kitchens. Are there any programs in your area to support people in need? You might qualify for assistance. Around here, libraries often organize programs to connect people. And even if it is just to warm up and chill for a bit, it might be nice to hang out for a couple of hours in a corner of the library with a book. Take care of your mental health.

    12 votes

  4. Comment on Automotive repair costs on modern vehicles. Any horror stories? in ~transport

    caliper
    Link Parent
    That sucks. It feels so wrong to be the one paying for damages caused by something out of your control. Your car must be glad to have you as an owner though. Hope it keeps on purring!

    That sucks. It feels so wrong to be the one paying for damages caused by something out of your control. Your car must be glad to have you as an owner though. Hope it keeps on purring!

    4 votes

  5. Comment on Automotive repair costs on modern vehicles. Any horror stories? in ~transport

    caliper
    Link
    I’ve caved after decades of old cars. The family is happy, I’ve got some more time to do other stuff. But I know I’m getting rid of this car before simple things will break. The car has been good...

    I’ve caved after decades of old cars. The family is happy, I’ve got some more time to do other stuff. But I know I’m getting rid of this car before simple things will break. The car has been good to me so far.

    Besides the idiocracy of needing a whole headlight unit replaced for the most basic things, do realize there is an insane markup on those parts. Shops will sell you OEM compatible parts for OEM dealer prices. I’ve had a headlight unit replaced with a $90 part, only for my insurance to be billed a cool $600. Labor was a separate item on that bill.

    As a home mechanic, I often feel the whole car industry is just filled with scammers. From manufacturers to dealers, mechanics to insurers. I rarely feel I’m not being ripped off.

    7 votes

  6. Comment on Struggling in my relationship in ~life

    caliper
    Link Parent
    Because discussing things that sound like divorce can be very stressful for kids. I know my kids overhear me and my wife sometimes and then quietly worry.

    Because discussing things that sound like divorce can be very stressful for kids. I know my kids overhear me and my wife sometimes and then quietly worry.

    8 votes

  7. Comment on Struggling in my relationship in ~life

    caliper
    Link
    This sounds terrible and it sounds like you are at the end of your rope. The financial part and hoarding especially sound so very stressful to me. The lack of intimacy, the difference in parenting...

    This sounds terrible and it sounds like you are at the end of your rope. The financial part and hoarding especially sound so very stressful to me. The lack of intimacy, the difference in parenting styles, sharing the housekeeping workload: those things I can see you’d be able to work through. But if somebody is sabotaging your life financially and clogging up the house, I don’t think I could go on with that in my life.

    It sounds like you may have a really good relationship with your father in law, have you considered having a really frank talk with him to see what he thinks is going on? Your partner sounds like he may have bigger issues they need to work on.

    It really does sound like you’ve made up your mind. The best of luck to you.

    5 votes

  8. Comment on Timasomo 2025: Week 3 Updates in ~creative.timasomo

    caliper
    Link Parent
    Who doesn’t love a good jig! When I was still earning a living as a furniture maker, my shop was filled with jigs from finished jobs. Often just glued and screwed together pieces of scrap MDF, but...

    Who doesn’t love a good jig! When I was still earning a living as a furniture maker, my shop was filled with jigs from finished jobs. Often just glued and screwed together pieces of scrap MDF, but also sometimes more intricate with adjustable pieces. They usually ended up in the trash after a year or so. But making jigs, that was one of the best parts of woodworking!

    4 votes

  9. Comment on Recommendations for a Linux based job/ticket management system in ~tech

    caliper
    Link
    Have you considered CalDAV reminders? It is very basic and not at all like Jira-like solutions, but very easy to set up and share across devices and platforms. It seems to tick most of your...

    Have you considered CalDAV reminders? It is very basic and not at all like Jira-like solutions, but very easy to set up and share across devices and platforms. It seems to tick most of your requirements, so maybe just good enough to use? I run a davical server, but there’s probably more modern options available.

  10. Comment on At the end of our ropes in ~health.mental

    caliper
    Link
    I'm sorry for responding this late. My social anxiety really kicked in when replies started coming in. This is my attempt to show I read all the comments and want to thank everybody so much for...

    I'm sorry for responding this late. My social anxiety really kicked in when replies started coming in. This is my attempt to show I read all the comments and want to thank everybody so much for the thoughtful replies.

    It is very helpful for me and my wife to read your insights, and above all, it is good for us to know we aren't crazy thinking the psychologist is talking out of their ass. Among all the great tips and personal stories, getting a second opinion is definitely the number one suggestion. I'm going to discuss this with my son to make sure he is on board with seeing another person. We'll make extra sure this time we end up with somebody that is familiar with ADHD. In addition, there's a ton of things we can work on/try at home. Hopefully we'll find something that works for my son.

    6 votes

  11. Comment on At the end of our ropes in ~health.mental

    caliper
    Link Parent
    The only reason we went to this psychologist was to get the okay to try medication, which our family doctor requires. We had Apple screentime. We had app limits. We had passwords. But in the end,...

    Are psychologists even able to prescribe medication in your area? You might want to consider seeing a psychiatrist and a different psychologist.

    The only reason we went to this psychologist was to get the okay to try medication, which our family doctor requires.

    Would he agree to hard limits enforced via Apple's screentime or whatever the equivalent is for the Android?

    We had Apple screentime. We had app limits. We had passwords. But in the end, he found out you can change the date or timezone to get around it. It came to light when SSL certificates were considered expired by Safari, and the browser wouldn't load anything. It cracked me up, but at the same time we were screwed at that point. He's found other ways to get around rules, so in the end we've decided that having those limits was impossible to enforce. It made family life miserable, especially for his younger brother.

    Do you say "yes" to everything non-device? It's never easy nor convenient, but I will say yes to anything non device related.

    This is an eyeopener. I really need to do this more. He loves board games. I hate board games because I'm too competitive and can't enjoy a game unless I'm winning. But he would love it if I would play more often. So I should suck it up more often and just do this for him.

    5 votes

  12. Comment on At the end of our ropes in ~health.mental

    caliper
    Link Parent
    So glad to get your opinion, sorry to break your Tildes hiatus! This is somewhat painful to read, but maybe I'm projecting fears I've had over the years. I've always wondered if all the things...

    So glad to get your opinion, sorry to break your Tildes hiatus!

    Like you, my mom looked for so much additional support (tutors, programs, engaging material) and very little of it panned out. I do have a few thoughts on what I’d do differently

    This is somewhat painful to read, but maybe I'm projecting fears I've had over the years. I've always wondered if all the things we've tried, had any negative impact on his self esteem. It feels like we're always trying to fix something.

    When you say you'd want to do things differently, what are you thinking of?

    4 votes

  13. Comment on At the end of our ropes in ~health.mental

    caliper
    Link Parent
    This is such an amazing response, I'm so grateful you took the time to write all this up! My wife is not a Tilderino and she was blown away somebody would give such a detailed response. There are...

    This is such an amazing response, I'm so grateful you took the time to write all this up! My wife is not a Tilderino and she was blown away somebody would give such a detailed response. There are quite a few things we have tried over the years already, but also so much that is new to me and my wife. Enough to try, and it makes me hopeful we're going to figure out some things that genuinely work for our son.

    11 votes

  14. Comment on At the end of our ropes in ~health.mental

    caliper
    Link Parent
    Thank you for taking the time to share your own experience, that really is reassuring to read. The unable to DO sounds a lot like I've seen him, but also how I can feel myself. I've always felt a...

    Thank you for taking the time to share your own experience, that really is reassuring to read. The unable to DO sounds a lot like I've seen him, but also how I can feel myself. I've always felt a lot of guilt about being unable to do some things, feeling ashamed not being able to perform some tasks. I always chalked it up to being lazy, being too stubborn to do some things. It is kind of crazy to realize I may not have been capable to change it all that much. It also makes me realize I have been hard on him when he's blocked, getting frustrated with his inability to just get it done. Argh, parenting is so fucking hard.

    3 votes

  15. At the end of our ropes

    ~health.mental Ask (advice)
    I’m here to ask the community for help. I know we’re a neurodiverse bunch, so I’ve got good hopes somebody can relate to this. My son is currently 16 and has always struggled with basic tasks....

    I’m here to ask the community for help. I know we’re a neurodiverse bunch, so I’ve got good hopes somebody can relate to this.

    My son is currently 16 and has always struggled with basic tasks. He’s gone through many tests and trainings when he was elementary school, but executive functions remain a challenge. From previous tests, we know he has an IQ of over 145. Back when he was tested, the psychologist advised to change his school curriculum to get him more engaged. This has partially worked: he’s been having more fun at school and has had some really cool academical achievements. But his struggle with basic day to day tasks and school work remains the same, and keeping focus is by far the most problematic part of it.

    With going to middle school came owning a phone and iPad. From day one, these do get his full attention. Me and my son are much alike when it comes to obsessive behavior, so I sometimes feel like I’m looking in the mirror when I see him with his phone. I too can lose myself in a game and binge it in a weekend. But for me, it isn’t 24/7. I can turn it off when it needs to be off. So I’ve always been strict with rules about screen time for him, but these rules have gone out the window in the last 2 years. There has been lying, sneaking and hiding to increase screen time. It has had a negative effect on our family and it’s draining to have to deal with this daily. I think that’s why we’ve somewhat given up on it, it was impossible to keep in check.

    In the past 3 years, he has started to really experience the negative impact of his challenges. We’ve attempted to help him plan his days, to plan his school work, to do chores in the house. But nothing seems to stick and he gets frustrated with himself and it is affecting his mood. In an attempt to find out more about what is causing his difficulties with basic tasks, we’ve asked a psychologist to look into AD(H)D. After an assessment, they’ve now come back with their findings. According to them, it cannot be AD(H)D because he can focus on things he likes (a board game was their example). Their rationale is that people with ADHD cannot focus on any task, even if they like them. They are saying it is his IQ, that he’s too bored to focus on basic tasks. According to them, he should force himself to do menial tasks and that we should be there to enforce this with rules and praise. Like we haven’t tried this already without any results. To say that I’m disappointed and furious about this outcome, is an understatement. It leaves us dead in the water and this makes me feel hopeless.

    I’m hoping to gain some insights by reading your comments. This attempt might point us in a new direction, because I’m fine if it is something entirely different than ADHD. I just really want him to feel better.

    44 votes

  16. Comment on Timeout when connecting to a local webserver through the internet, but only on WiFi in ~comp

    caliper
    Link Parent
    Thanks, I think this quote from the help page has broken my will to really figure it out. But without kidding, thanks so much for diving deeper than I did! This might just be the real reason why...

    Thanks, I think this quote from the help page has broken my will to really figure it out. But without kidding, thanks so much for diving deeper than I did! This might just be the real reason why it's not working.

    I've given up and have just added a DNS record to the gateway that points to the local server. This way it works inside the network and outside too. It's not pretty, but it works.

    3 votes

  17. Comment on Timeout when connecting to a local webserver through the internet, but only on WiFi in ~comp

    caliper
    Link Parent
    No kidding, the UI is a maze. It's not been a smooth transition to this setup. With this "Flow Logging" setting also: after a good hour of looking it now turns out this flow logging isn't...

    No kidding, the UI is a maze. It's not been a smooth transition to this setup. With this "Flow Logging" setting also: after a good hour of looking it now turns out this flow logging isn't available on the Cloud Gateway Ultra. With all the extra costs, like PoE+ injectors, I ended up getting the most basic model Cloud Gateway. I thought it was expensive enough as it is. Annoying to find out that also means some features are locked away.

    Okay, no more negativity, just a little buyers remorse.... I finally threw in the towel and added a DNS Host (A) record to the policy engine pointing to the local server. This way traffic won't go out to the interwebs and we all can access our calendars again inside the house and when we are on the road. Family happy and I might be able to forget about my failure in the future.

    4 votes

  18. Comment on Timeout when connecting to a local webserver through the internet, but only on WiFi in ~comp

    caliper
    Link Parent
    Dumb question, but where should this panel live? I only see network/default/insights/flows, which has blocked/threats flows. Both are empty.

    Have you checked the “Flows” panel on the UniFi console? Might be worthwhile to get an idea of how the router is interpreting the connections - whether they’re being blocked, what it thinks the IPs at each end are, which networks/VLANs it thinks it’s routing between.

    Dumb question, but where should this panel live? I only see network/default/insights/flows, which has blocked/threats flows. Both are empty.

    3 votes

  19. Comment on Timeout when connecting to a local webserver through the internet, but only on WiFi in ~comp

    caliper
    Link Parent
    Browser caching has definitely tripped me up in the past, so I can totally relate to this. I think we can rule the browser out though. The same issue is also happening with the VPN server I host...

    Browser caching has definitely tripped me up in the past, so I can totally relate to this. I think we can rule the browser out though. The same issue is also happening with the VPN server I host on a different machine that's sitting besides the webserver. I see traffic coming in, but no connection is established on the client side.

    Testing this again now, I see the traffic coming into the VPN server takes forever when on WiFi (haven't checked with a wire). When I'm on mobile, the logging of the VPN server shows instant negotiation. I assumed the issue was something with the return traffic, but that's not the case. Something to look into later.

    1 vote

  20. Comment on Timeout when connecting to a local webserver through the internet, but only on WiFi in ~comp

    caliper
    Link Parent
    There is dubble NAT, that’s right. Unfortunately it’s not possible to put the ISPs router in bridge mode. What noise are you thinking of?

    There is dubble NAT, that’s right. Unfortunately it’s not possible to put the ISPs router in bridge mode. What noise are you thinking of?

    2 votes