NeonBright's recent activity
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Comment on Cornell won't, we will in ~news
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Comment on Deciding whether (or not) to have a child in ~life
NeonBright Link ParentTBH, you do sound pretty accusatory. But that's okay, it's a tricky issue to tackle. :-) It's very hard to express something of such nuance in a few lines on a screen, from either your perspective...TBH, you do sound pretty accusatory. But that's okay, it's a tricky issue to tackle. :-)
It's very hard to express something of such nuance in a few lines on a screen, from either your perspective or mine.To me it wasn't any kind of a gamble at all.
I can understand why it might appear so to you, but that's not even close to my subjective experience.
I felt as you do about babies and children - and I mostly still do.I was never anti-child or adamant about not having children, I just didn't like most of them very much.
My position wasn't a philosophy so much as an observation of a fact, so there wasn't much in the way of paradigm shifting or anything that needed to happen when I became aware that I wanted to get pregnant, some ten years into our relationship. That was a fact, too.We talked it over - mostly to do with logistics rather than existential issues - and I duly got pregnant.
Now this was the surprising bit - I loved being pregnant, absolutely loved it. I hadn't expected that.
A relative rather sourly noted, "You bonded with your babies before they were even born."I think you need a little faith that if you love your partner and can see the good in yourself, it follows that a child born of the two of you will fit into your relationship, into the little world you two create, pretty naturally. We are built to breed; the human race has been ridiculously successful at it, even though it takes a lot of work and many years of sustained effort.
You aren't going to have one of those sticky noisy random kids over there; you are going to have your own child, literally the product of your own flesh and blood. That's a very different thing.
At the very least, do not discount the incredible power of hormones to bond humans.
And at a less animalistic level, there is a great joy in beginning your own little clan.Having a family is one of the greatest joys that I have experienced.
That said, it is not for everyone, and if you do not feel comfortable taking that risk, then don't.
I wouldn't wish an unwilling mother on any child, either.Many, many people are opting not to have kids these days (check out the startling demographic curves of almost any country) and I think that says something profound about the era we are living in.
Your hesitancy may well not be an entirely individual thing, but a reflection of something much greater and frankly more disturbing. -
Comment on What is your "when I found out about 9/11" story? in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentI remember that silence. It went on for days - and the smog cleared, too. It would have been lovely if it hadn't been so terrible.I remember that silence. It went on for days - and the smog cleared, too.
It would have been lovely if it hadn't been so terrible. -
Comment on Deciding whether (or not) to have a child in ~life
NeonBright Link ParentI strongly agree with this. While things may seem gloomy now, things can - and do- change in unexpected ways and none of us are well-placed to know what will happen during our own lifetimes, let...You can never tell what is good and what is bad. Even decades later.
I strongly agree with this. While things may seem gloomy now, things can - and do- change in unexpected ways and none of us are well-placed to know what will happen during our own lifetimes, let alone our kids lives.
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Comment on Deciding whether (or not) to have a child in ~life
NeonBright Link ParentCounterpoint to 'not liking kids very much'. I did not like kids at all, and disliked babies even more. Come the day, and we had kids of our own... and I loved those babies more than you would...Counterpoint to 'not liking kids very much'.
I did not like kids at all, and disliked babies even more.
Come the day, and we had kids of our own... and I loved those babies more than you would believe possible (and I still do, although they are adults now).
However I still don't like other people's kids much. :-)I think a point people overlook is that your kids will be a blend of yourself and your significant other, which makes them vastly more loveable than you might expect when looking at kids in general.
An annoying relative of mine used to say 'Babies bring their own love' - and I did not really understand what that meant until I had my own, whereupon it became ridiculously self-evident that she was right.
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Comment on New worlds, and what was your "Future Shock" moment? in ~life
NeonBright LinkToday. Right here, I think. This is not technology that should be used against school children. And it was only as I was about to post that I realised there's a fairly horrible play on the the...Today. Right here, I think.
This is not technology that should be used against school children.
And it was only as I was about to post that I realised there's a fairly horrible play on the the world 'shocking' involved, too. :-( -
Comment on Base notes on Eight & Bob's story in ~talk
NeonBright (edited )Link"extrait de bull" indeed! Even for an industry which is known for imagery over substance, this is a bit much. Thank you for sharing! Also, as a gardener (as well as a perfumista) now my interest..."extrait de bull" indeed!
Even for an industry which is known for imagery over substance, this is a bit much.
Thank you for sharing!Also, as a gardener (as well as a perfumista) now my interest is piqued, and I very much want to know what the mysterious plant 'Andrea' really is.
Update: the plant is an Indian Paintbrush (Castilleja sp), a very interesting and unusual form of plant that lacks chlorophyll and so lives parasitically on other plants. They do indeed have a tricky lifecycle.
They are found across the drier parts of north america (not the Andes).
However... they are not known to be used in perfumery, at least not as far as I could discover; they are notable for their lack of essential oils or fragrance. It does make a nice red dye though. -
Comment on Worse on Purpose: a site that tracks which brands are still worth their old reputation and which have been enshittified in ~enviro
NeonBright Link ParentNo. :-( I use them a lot, and have found the deterioration over time annoying and depressing. Unfortunately most of the alternatives that I have tried are worse. I'm old enough to remember The...No. :-(
I use them a lot, and have found the deterioration over time annoying and depressing.
Unfortunately most of the alternatives that I have tried are worse.I'm old enough to remember The Time Before Microplanes and I think they fill a really useful niche, so right now I'd rather have a crappy one than not have one at all.
But if anyone has a suggestion for a better quality competitor - I would like to know, too. -
Comment on Better things are possible in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentI don't really understand the appeal of lawn. I mean a bit is nice for the dogs and kids to play on, but most of a garden needs to be other things; flowers and trees and shrubs and maybe a few...I don't really understand the appeal of lawn. I mean a bit is nice for the dogs and kids to play on, but most of a garden needs to be other things; flowers and trees and shrubs and maybe a few vegetables. Part of the joy of having a garden is sharing it with other critters.
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Comment on Worse on Purpose: a site that tracks which brands are still worth their old reputation and which have been enshittified in ~enviro
NeonBright LinkMicroplane is on the approved list?? This surprises me greatly. As a long-term user, I can attest that they are an absolute shadow of their original form. Every single corner that could be cut,...Microplane is on the approved list??
This surprises me greatly. As a long-term user, I can attest that they are an absolute shadow of their original form. Every single corner that could be cut, has been.
The current microplanes last no more than a few months under even quite moderate domestic use. Which is in stark contrast to the early ones, which were a genuine investment... but absolutely worth it, because they were robust and well designed. -
Comment on Better things are possible in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentAustralia was basically designed with lizards (and snakes) in mind. We have added water sources (like bird baths but at ground level and with a strategic stone added to enable any that fall in to...Australia was basically designed with lizards (and snakes) in mind.
We have added water sources (like bird baths but at ground level and with a strategic stone added to enable any that fall in to get out again), stone palaces (piles of reasonably attractive stones with lots of nooks and crannies), natural timber edging to garden beds, and we planted back a fair bit of low-growing ground cover to provide safe habitat.
Our regulars range from big blue tongues to tawny dragons to grass skinks. We also have two kinds of local night-active geckos (but neither of them say very much), and a couple of other small skinks.They all have quite different habits and personalities.
The grass skinks in particular seem to live in little groups and spend quite a lot of time bickering with each other in ways that look very social - and at times not all that survival oriented!
They are very funny to watch; surprisingly human-seeming for tiny reptiles. -
Comment on What are you looking forward to? in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentThey are angry. But to date their anger directionless at best, or completely misguided at worst... Undirected anger isn't something I look forward to, because it's so much easier to wreck...Iv been saying for years that the people need to step up and be angry.
They are angry. But to date their anger directionless at best, or completely misguided at worst...
Undirected anger isn't something I look forward to, because it's so much easier to wreck something than it is to build something.
I'd argue we need more constructive, focused builders, and fewer wreckers. At every level of society.
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Comment on Better things are possible in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentOh they know - they know. :-) Other side of the world here; it's wintertime in Australia right now but I'm looking forward to springtime when our local skinks wake up and start to cause mischief....how do you not know I’m looking straight into your soul lil guy?
Oh they know - they know. :-)
Other side of the world here; it's wintertime in Australia right now but I'm looking forward to springtime when our local skinks wake up and start to cause mischief. We have modified our garden to be much more lizard friendly and now have five species we see regularly, and a couple more that come and go.
The thing that gets me is that everyone considers lizards to be 'cold blooded' in every sense, but in the wild they seem to be quite social and have distinct alliances with some individuals, and territorial disputes with others. You just have to watch them for a while to see how rich and complex their little high-speed lives are.
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Comment on What have you been eating, drinking, and cooking? in ~food
NeonBright LinkLemon bars. Our meyer lemon tree is laden at the moment so four lemons made a large tray of lemon bars. Even though the ingredients are simple (not much more than lemons, eggs, sugar, butter and...Lemon bars.
Our meyer lemon tree is laden at the moment so four lemons made a large tray of lemon bars. Even though the ingredients are simple (not much more than lemons, eggs, sugar, butter and flour), somehow they are more than the sum of their parts.
In particular, if you get the shortcrust base right it becomes both crisp and somehow creamy? at the same time.
It's a pretty special example of making the best of simple ingredients you probably have on hand. -
Comment on Better things are possible in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentI find lizards a reliable source of joy, so that's not nothing! Get out there and grant yourself permission just to sit and watch for a while. They have quite complex personal lives - it's like...I find lizards a reliable source of joy, so that's not nothing!
Get out there and grant yourself permission just to sit and watch for a while. They have quite complex personal lives - it's like watching a tiny (scaly) soap opera. -
Comment on Tildes Survey #3: What country were you born in? (Results) in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentPing please!Ping please!
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Comment on Tildes Gardening Group: Week 6/4/26 in ~hobbies
NeonBright Link ParentThere are those that garden with knives, and those who do not. My father - who had a truck garden covering more than an acre - never left the house without his knife on his belt. Me, on the other...There are those that garden with knives, and those who do not.
My father - who had a truck garden covering more than an acre - never left the house without his knife on his belt.
Me, on the other hand - I've been gardening for decades and rarely use a knife, not even for harvesting. On the other hand, my personal landscape is littered with uncountable pairs of secateurs...
I guess it depends on your own style of gardening, and of course your garden itself.Why not get a cheap holstered garden knife and see how it works for you, before commiting the money on the fancy brand name version? I know that even if I was given one as a gift I would never use it, but clearly others work differently!
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Comment on Alternative news source recommendations in ~news
NeonBright LinkTry News Minimalist. They have a free version and a subscription version. Their very interesting ranking process specifically seeks out stories of high general importance and I am regularly blown...Try News Minimalist. They have a free version and a subscription version.
Their very interesting ranking process specifically seeks out stories of high general importance and I am regularly blown away by news items that are reported there but overlooked by most news services I access. -
Comment on Would anyone be interested in an online gardening club? in ~hobbies
NeonBright LinkYes, I'd be interested... but I'm in Australia and my seasons are likely very different from those of most Tildarians. It's late summer just moving into autumn here, and that means we are in our...Yes, I'd be interested... but I'm in Australia and my seasons are likely very different from those of most Tildarians.
It's late summer just moving into autumn here, and that means we are in our fallow season. The heat and most importantly the lack of rain brings gardening to a halt in the same way that snow does elsewhere.
I have a large garden and have been gardening for many years. We grow a bit of everything; fruit, flowers, veggies, native plants for the birds etc etc. The pears are ready for picking this week.
We also have an extensive collection of houseplants, many of which have been grown from vegetative propagation of one kind or another.
It's surprisingly quick and easy to get plants to make more plants. -
Comment on What are you working through? in ~life
NeonBright Link ParentI hear what you are saying. Maybe you do feel like your life is a mess. And maybe it really is. I don't know - I'm a stranger on the internet, after all. :-) But - to me it sounds like you are...I hear what you are saying.
Maybe you do feel like your life is a mess. And maybe it really is. I don't know - I'm a stranger on the internet, after all. :-)
But - to me it sounds like you are doing great work. You've got a new job, and you are making meaningful changes in your community. That's solid stuff right there.You also sound tired. Not a mess. Just plain, old fashioned, boring, tired.
Would it be possible for you to carve out half a day a week, or a couple of evenings, and use them purely to recharge your batteries in the way that feels best to you?
No new projects.
Just focussing on your own physical and mental needs.
Don't worry about who says what about 'how' you should relax; just follow your instincts and do what works for you.
Sleep, dance, read, have a bath or a walk or a coffee with a friend. Whatever works for you.
And then just keep doing that - defending that space and time for yourself, rather than starting yet another new project - until you feel a bit better.Once you are a bit rested things will seem more manageable, and who knows, maybe then some housework will get done.
"Just stare back at you" is exactly what happened to me. A woman was choking and struggling to breathe in a carpark and I looked directly at two men talking nearby and asked them - specifically them - to come and help me (as she was starting to collapse) and they just stared at me and kept on talking... and watching the woman struggle.
It altered the way I look at humanity. It didn't turn me into a embittered hermit or anything - but it has made me understand that "help" is the exception, not the rule.
I absolutely do not believe that directly addressing people will overcome the bystander effect.