NeonBright's recent activity
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Comment on Tildes “orphans”, what do you do for Christmas? in ~life
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Comment on Keeping up a blogging habit while being a dad in ~life.men
NeonBright Link ParentI completely disagree. The first year is absolutely unbelievably exhausting - but it is also filled with the most incredible change and forward momentum as the baby grows and develops. It's not...I completely disagree. The first year is absolutely unbelievably exhausting - but it is also filled with the most incredible change and forward momentum as the baby grows and develops. It's not just the parents who are busy doing things during that year.
I will never (ever) understand how some people say they are bored being at home with an infant. That first year was one of the most rewarding with each of our kids, because every single day was a new adventure in terms of personality development and skills acquisition.
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Comment on Why is there no word for please in the Nordic languages – are their speakers simply more direct, or is politeness expressed in ways outsiders may not immediately recognise in ~humanities.languages
NeonBright Link ParentI'm floored that you read Australians as shy or reserved. To me, we are a fairly boisterous bunch. Our manners are pretty terrible on the global scale. Although we generally mean well, it would be...I'm floored that you read Australians as shy or reserved. To me, we are a fairly boisterous bunch.
Our manners are pretty terrible on the global scale. Although we generally mean well, it would be fair to say we lack polish.
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Comment on Cornell won't, we will in ~news
NeonBright Link ParentIsn't this invalidating my actual lived experience? Why on earth should I believe there will be help forthcoming, when it absolutely was not in the past? Isn't it better to observe the facts and...Isn't this invalidating my actual lived experience?
Why on earth should I believe there will be help forthcoming, when it absolutely was not in the past?
Isn't it better to observe the facts and adjust accordingly?I do understand that those two men were... suboptimal human beings... and not everyone is like that. But also, it seems sensible to accept that bystanders won't necessarily be of any help in a time of need.
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Comment on Advice on dealing with aging parents in ~life
NeonBright Link ParentI appreciate your practical assessment of the situation. Your perspective tallies closely with mine. People get sentimental about caring for old folks, but mostly it is a lot of hard, stressful...I appreciate your practical assessment of the situation. Your perspective tallies closely with mine. People get sentimental about caring for old folks, but mostly it is a lot of hard, stressful work.
I'm now in the 13th year of looking after aging parents and to be perfectly honest, things do not get better. However it is possible to get better at dealing with the challenges that arise as part of the arc of caring for the aged.
Looking at things clearly and realistically and then preparing early is critical to good longterm care for aging people.
So is respect and compassion both for one's aging parents and, then when things get rough, for oneself, too.OP should not hesitate to make use of memory care and/or full support aged care when it becomes necessary. This type of care is specialised and there is no shame in using it when it is needed, and it will free OP to better enjoy what time is left with their parents.
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Comment on I don’t feel like I’m a creative person. How could I fix that and get ideas? in ~creative
NeonBright Link ParentIn the spirit of simplifying your life, here's a really easy Bearnaise. Melt a pound of butter (salted or unsalted, according to preference) to boiling point in a pot. While this is heating, put...In the spirit of simplifying your life, here's a really easy Bearnaise.
Melt a pound of butter (salted or unsalted, according to preference) to boiling point in a pot.
While this is heating, put five egg yolks (room temperature for preference, but it doesn't matter much) in a heat-proof food processor.
Add a little bit of grated lemon rind and some finely chopped tarragon. Perhaps a little bit of pepper, too.
Give the seasoned yolks the quickest possible pulse (1 sec) just to amalgamate the ingredients.
Pick up the pot of boiling butter in your dominant hand, start the food processor, and add the still-boiling butter - including all solids - in a steady stream until the egg yolk forms a thickish emulsion.
Stop blending, and pour the sauce into a serving container (this helps to reduce the temperature, meaning the sauce won't 'break' from too much heat).
This can also be made with stick blender.
It's incredibly forgiving, and very versatile... and you won't need a recipe after you've made it a couple of times. -
Comment on Cornell won't, we will in ~news
NeonBright Link Parent"Just stare back at you" is exactly what happened to me. A woman was choking and struggling to breathe in a carpark and I looked directly at two men talking nearby and asked them - specifically..."Just stare back at you" is exactly what happened to me. A woman was choking and struggling to breathe in a carpark and I looked directly at two men talking nearby and asked them - specifically them - to come and help me (as she was starting to collapse) and they just stared at me and kept on talking... and watching the woman struggle.
It altered the way I look at humanity. It didn't turn me into a embittered hermit or anything - but it has made me understand that "help" is the exception, not the rule.
I absolutely do not believe that directly addressing people will overcome the bystander effect.
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Comment on Deciding whether (or not) to have a child in ~life
NeonBright Link ParentTBH, you do sound pretty accusatory. But that's okay, it's a tricky issue to tackle. :-) It's very hard to express something of such nuance in a few lines on a screen, from either your perspective...TBH, you do sound pretty accusatory. But that's okay, it's a tricky issue to tackle. :-)
It's very hard to express something of such nuance in a few lines on a screen, from either your perspective or mine.To me it wasn't any kind of a gamble at all.
I can understand why it might appear so to you, but that's not even close to my subjective experience.
I felt as you do about babies and children - and I mostly still do.I was never anti-child or adamant about not having children, I just didn't like most of them very much.
My position wasn't a philosophy so much as an observation of a fact, so there wasn't much in the way of paradigm shifting or anything that needed to happen when I became aware that I wanted to get pregnant, some ten years into our relationship. That was a fact, too.We talked it over - mostly to do with logistics rather than existential issues - and I duly got pregnant.
Now this was the surprising bit - I loved being pregnant, absolutely loved it. I hadn't expected that.
A relative rather sourly noted, "You bonded with your babies before they were even born."I think you need a little faith that if you love your partner and can see the good in yourself, it follows that a child born of the two of you will fit into your relationship, into the little world you two create, pretty naturally. We are built to breed; the human race has been ridiculously successful at it, even though it takes a lot of work and many years of sustained effort.
You aren't going to have one of those sticky noisy random kids over there; you are going to have your own child, literally the product of your own flesh and blood. That's a very different thing.
At the very least, do not discount the incredible power of hormones to bond humans.
And at a less animalistic level, there is a great joy in beginning your own little clan.Having a family is one of the greatest joys that I have experienced.
That said, it is not for everyone, and if you do not feel comfortable taking that risk, then don't.
I wouldn't wish an unwilling mother on any child, either.Many, many people are opting not to have kids these days (check out the startling demographic curves of almost any country) and I think that says something profound about the era we are living in.
Your hesitancy may well not be an entirely individual thing, but a reflection of something much greater and frankly more disturbing. -
Comment on What is your "when I found out about 9/11" story? in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentI remember that silence. It went on for days - and the smog cleared, too. It would have been lovely if it hadn't been so terrible.I remember that silence. It went on for days - and the smog cleared, too.
It would have been lovely if it hadn't been so terrible. -
Comment on Deciding whether (or not) to have a child in ~life
NeonBright Link ParentI strongly agree with this. While things may seem gloomy now, things can - and do- change in unexpected ways and none of us are well-placed to know what will happen during our own lifetimes, let...You can never tell what is good and what is bad. Even decades later.
I strongly agree with this. While things may seem gloomy now, things can - and do- change in unexpected ways and none of us are well-placed to know what will happen during our own lifetimes, let alone our kids lives.
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Comment on Deciding whether (or not) to have a child in ~life
NeonBright Link ParentCounterpoint to 'not liking kids very much'. I did not like kids at all, and disliked babies even more. Come the day, and we had kids of our own... and I loved those babies more than you would...Counterpoint to 'not liking kids very much'.
I did not like kids at all, and disliked babies even more.
Come the day, and we had kids of our own... and I loved those babies more than you would believe possible (and I still do, although they are adults now).
However I still don't like other people's kids much. :-)I think a point people overlook is that your kids will be a blend of yourself and your significant other, which makes them vastly more loveable than you might expect when looking at kids in general.
An annoying relative of mine used to say 'Babies bring their own love' - and I did not really understand what that meant until I had my own, whereupon it became ridiculously self-evident that she was right.
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Comment on New worlds, and what was your "Future Shock" moment? in ~life
NeonBright LinkToday. Right here, I think. This is not technology that should be used against school children. And it was only as I was about to post that I realised there's a fairly horrible play on the the...Today. Right here, I think.
This is not technology that should be used against school children.
And it was only as I was about to post that I realised there's a fairly horrible play on the the world 'shocking' involved, too. :-( -
Comment on Base notes on Eight & Bob's story in ~talk
NeonBright (edited )Link"extrait de bull" indeed! Even for an industry which is known for imagery over substance, this is a bit much. Thank you for sharing! Also, as a gardener (as well as a perfumista) now my interest..."extrait de bull" indeed!
Even for an industry which is known for imagery over substance, this is a bit much.
Thank you for sharing!Also, as a gardener (as well as a perfumista) now my interest is piqued, and I very much want to know what the mysterious plant 'Andrea' really is.
Update: the plant is an Indian Paintbrush (Castilleja sp), a very interesting and unusual form of plant that lacks chlorophyll and so lives parasitically on other plants. They do indeed have a tricky lifecycle.
They are found across the drier parts of north america (not the Andes).
However... they are not known to be used in perfumery, at least not as far as I could discover; they are notable for their lack of essential oils or fragrance. It does make a nice red dye though. -
Comment on Worse on Purpose: a site that tracks which brands are still worth their old reputation and which have been enshittified in ~enviro
NeonBright Link ParentNo. :-( I use them a lot, and have found the deterioration over time annoying and depressing. Unfortunately most of the alternatives that I have tried are worse. I'm old enough to remember The...No. :-(
I use them a lot, and have found the deterioration over time annoying and depressing.
Unfortunately most of the alternatives that I have tried are worse.I'm old enough to remember The Time Before Microplanes and I think they fill a really useful niche, so right now I'd rather have a crappy one than not have one at all.
But if anyone has a suggestion for a better quality competitor - I would like to know, too. -
Comment on Better things are possible in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentI don't really understand the appeal of lawn. I mean a bit is nice for the dogs and kids to play on, but most of a garden needs to be other things; flowers and trees and shrubs and maybe a few...I don't really understand the appeal of lawn. I mean a bit is nice for the dogs and kids to play on, but most of a garden needs to be other things; flowers and trees and shrubs and maybe a few vegetables. Part of the joy of having a garden is sharing it with other critters.
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Comment on Worse on Purpose: a site that tracks which brands are still worth their old reputation and which have been enshittified in ~enviro
NeonBright LinkMicroplane is on the approved list?? This surprises me greatly. As a long-term user, I can attest that they are an absolute shadow of their original form. Every single corner that could be cut,...Microplane is on the approved list??
This surprises me greatly. As a long-term user, I can attest that they are an absolute shadow of their original form. Every single corner that could be cut, has been.
The current microplanes last no more than a few months under even quite moderate domestic use. Which is in stark contrast to the early ones, which were a genuine investment... but absolutely worth it, because they were robust and well designed. -
Comment on Better things are possible in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentAustralia was basically designed with lizards (and snakes) in mind. We have added water sources (like bird baths but at ground level and with a strategic stone added to enable any that fall in to...Australia was basically designed with lizards (and snakes) in mind.
We have added water sources (like bird baths but at ground level and with a strategic stone added to enable any that fall in to get out again), stone palaces (piles of reasonably attractive stones with lots of nooks and crannies), natural timber edging to garden beds, and we planted back a fair bit of low-growing ground cover to provide safe habitat.
Our regulars range from big blue tongues to tawny dragons to grass skinks. We also have two kinds of local night-active geckos (but neither of them say very much), and a couple of other small skinks.They all have quite different habits and personalities.
The grass skinks in particular seem to live in little groups and spend quite a lot of time bickering with each other in ways that look very social - and at times not all that survival oriented!
They are very funny to watch; surprisingly human-seeming for tiny reptiles. -
Comment on What are you looking forward to? in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentThey are angry. But to date their anger directionless at best, or completely misguided at worst... Undirected anger isn't something I look forward to, because it's so much easier to wreck...Iv been saying for years that the people need to step up and be angry.
They are angry. But to date their anger directionless at best, or completely misguided at worst...
Undirected anger isn't something I look forward to, because it's so much easier to wreck something than it is to build something.
I'd argue we need more constructive, focused builders, and fewer wreckers. At every level of society.
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Comment on Better things are possible in ~talk
NeonBright Link ParentOh they know - they know. :-) Other side of the world here; it's wintertime in Australia right now but I'm looking forward to springtime when our local skinks wake up and start to cause mischief....how do you not know I’m looking straight into your soul lil guy?
Oh they know - they know. :-)
Other side of the world here; it's wintertime in Australia right now but I'm looking forward to springtime when our local skinks wake up and start to cause mischief. We have modified our garden to be much more lizard friendly and now have five species we see regularly, and a couple more that come and go.
The thing that gets me is that everyone considers lizards to be 'cold blooded' in every sense, but in the wild they seem to be quite social and have distinct alliances with some individuals, and territorial disputes with others. You just have to watch them for a while to see how rich and complex their little high-speed lives are.
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Comment on What have you been eating, drinking, and cooking? in ~food
NeonBright LinkLemon bars. Our meyer lemon tree is laden at the moment so four lemons made a large tray of lemon bars. Even though the ingredients are simple (not much more than lemons, eggs, sugar, butter and...Lemon bars.
Our meyer lemon tree is laden at the moment so four lemons made a large tray of lemon bars. Even though the ingredients are simple (not much more than lemons, eggs, sugar, butter and flour), somehow they are more than the sum of their parts.
In particular, if you get the shortcrust base right it becomes both crisp and somehow creamy? at the same time.
It's a pretty special example of making the best of simple ingredients you probably have on hand.
Go hard on hygge. Make everything as cosy and as pleasant and specifically personalised as possible.
As a (very) young family in a foreign country we decided it was the perfect time to make our very own christmas traditions... and so we did. We spent the next few years decorating the house our way, giving gifts that were specifically designed to be read/eaten/played on Xmas day, cooking food that only we liked to eat, and generally having a great time incorporating our own preferences into the day.
it worked incredibly well, generated some very special - if slightly unorthodox - memories and... also made it quite difficult to re-integrate into the extended family christmas circus when we eventually returned home. In the end we had to sacrifice christmas day to the rest of the family, and moved our own celebration one day over - and now Boxing Day is unquestionably the best day of the year.