Wife and I are going through the home buying process in what most people would call a low cost of living area. For reference, homes are about 180-400k where I live in New York State.

I heard the horror stories but I had no idea how bad the issue is. I'll get to that in a minute.

I am curious what's going to happen with housing. Because on one hand, it seems like it's going to continue to rise until there is genuinely no such thing as middle-class home ownership. On the other hand, I see some troubling signs that remind me of a bubble.

The housing market will continue to be unaffordable
-I keep hearing that it's a supply issue. That we need to double the number of houses for things to get better. I also hear this isn't happening and that immigration is a factor. Sounds like a dog whistle but I'm curious if there is any truth to this.

-Other developed nations are worse. Many have 40-50 year mortgages and some countries even have multi-generational mortgages. This shows that it could get worse.

-Companies and wealthy individuals trying to make us all rent forever. Of course they would like nothing more and they'll probably keep working on this.

The current market is not sustainable

-There is a feeding frenzy on every single home that goes for sale in my area. Total shit boxes with sagging roofs are selling no problem and way above asking.

-The bank approved my wife and I for way too much money. We have student loans and daycare costs. The amount they approved us for would absolutely put us in the negatives every month. I thought that wasn't supposed to happen anymore. It feels strange and reckless for the banks to do that. For reference, we make about 100k/year combined but student loans and childcare take up a significant chunk of that. They approved us for $300k to get a home. We could get a $2400/mo* mortgage, which immediately wipes out 50% of our take-home pay. We ran a budget and even avoiding any purchases that aren't literal necessities, we would be running a deficit every month. We could never buy a shirt, a baby toy, a makeup product, a movie ticket, or even a pair of shoes and we would still be in the negative. Nevermind what would happen if one of our very modest, very used vehicles needed to be replaced or repaired. Obviously we didn't bid anything near 300k on any home. Wife's mom offered to front some inheritance money (give my wife some money now and then just leave the inheritance to her sister to make up for it) and we weren't even close still.

-When did a married nurse and teacher become completely priced out of the market? Is that a sign of a normal and healthy market? Now, to be fair, my wife could increase her salary if she wanted to go back to working in the emergency room. She doesn't want to do that while we have a baby at home and I understand that completely. But you would think we would be able to afford something.

I am clearly speaking from a position of relative privilege here. I recognize that. I grew up in a foreclosed and auctioned home that was old and small. My parents moved to an economically depressed town to get that house because they had no money and no help. There was no "borrowing a few grand from an inheritance" for them and if my wife wasn't in the picture that would never be an option for me either. I think my wife and I are doing a lot better than many other people in this area. What are couples who work at Amazon doing? Just saying fuck it and renting forever?

Anyway, I'm half venting and half asking. What is the actual endgame here for Americans? What happens next?

So we make about $100,000 combined, I make just shy of 70K and she makes about 30K.

Both states have programs for first time homebuyers, but our incomes together prohibit us from qualifying, whereas separately we both qualify.

Would it be considered fraud if I were to apply for one as myself, get the house in my name, but we both pay on it? I can't find anything on either page about it, but obviously we are not legally married.

We are renting a condo in an area that's experiencing tremendous rent and home price increases, so much so that if we refuse to renew our increased lease, we'd be looking at spending 2-3x on rent for a similar property. This is, somewhat conveniently, almost exactly what the total cost of monthly expenses would be if we purchased the unit at its estimated cost when comparing to similar units in the complex that recently sold. We also really like the location and would rather eat an increase in rent here than relocate in our city, which complicates things a little further.

My wife and I have floated the idea of approaching our property manager and asking if the owner has any willingness to sell, but we are also trying to imagine possible consequences of starting that conversation -- in particular, should they opt to sell but not to us. There are also some things that we'd like to update in our unit that would fall under the landlord's obligation while we are renting (plumbing issues, windows and blinds need repairs, etc.), so we're trying to gauge if we should even have this conversation before we request repairs.

We've thought about a few different options, and I'd be interested to hear from others who have tried anything similar.

1. Just ask to buy it and see what happens.

   • Pro: skirt all the bullshit and just get to the meat of the issue, which is that we want to buy the property.
   • Con: They check the price, decide to sell to someone else and we're back in "rent the same for more but in a worse location" territory. If they decide to sell to us, they might resist performing repairs because they'll just offload it to us eventually.

2. Wait for repairs to be done, then ask.

   • Pro: get our unit fixed, improve QOL immediately.
   • Con: They might be less likely to sell to us if they think we were trying to get stuff fixed so we didn't have to fix it after buying.

3. Offer some kind of plan to cost-share improvements or fixes in exchange for rent adjustments within the initial approach about buying.

   • Pro: Get improvements/fixes to the house quickly, reduce rent expenses regardless of if we are able to buy or not.
   • Con: They essentially get to subsidize improvements to their unit for long-term gain while we only get short-term benefits.

Do you guys think they're using rate increases to kill off all the overleveraged homeowners in an effort to create a sell-off and thereby lower housing costs?

Could someone smarter than I please explain what is going on... or is our inflation that bad? Seems like some of the inflation might be what I've read as greedflation. I didn't realize we jumped almost 3.75% in less than a year last year...