Yes, I’m totally serious.

If you find a recipe online that includes beans in the ingredients list, chances are that it calls for canned beans. And I honestly don’t know why. Canned beans are terrible.

To be specific I am not talking about flavored beans. Beans in tomato sauce or a sugary sauce for baked or barbecue beans tend to be OK. It’s the unflavored ones that bother me.

I could only wish that a lack of flavor was the only problem with canned beans, but in addition to that they also tend to have a sharp metallic taste. I don’t even know how that can happen. Canned tomatoes don’t taste that bad. Are they just not cleaning the cans before they put the beans in them?

We are living in an age where it’s surprisingly common for people to have access to pressure cookers which can cook dry beans en masse within an hour’s time. And the result will be properly nutty, buttery, and creamy like they are supposed to taste.

I get that canned beans are always going to be more convenient, but they taste so much worse that I honestly don’t think the resulting dish should be called the same thing.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

People eat a lot of food. So much, in fact, that we tend to overlook exactly how good our food is. In celebration of this (and to get our minds off of the scary stuff), I thought this was a good time to reflect on the good things in life. So I give you this question: what average, everyday supermarket food is secretly fantastic? So fantastic that you could eat it everyday - and probably actually do.

My vote is bread. Bread is so delicious you can practically make a complete meal out of it. But it's also versatile and with just a few more ingredients can be transformed into something even more delicious. Buttered toast is absolutely divine. Everyone has their favorite sandwich, and any of those would also be perfect for this list as well, but you can't have any of them without bread.

I'm also not above ultraprocessed garbage food, so as a bonus suggestion is (bread-adjacent!) premade frozen pizzas. While some people will prefer fresh made pizzas, I've never seen anyone hate frozen pizza altogether, and everyone has a favorite brand. I personally like Totino's; it has a strangely appealing artificial quality to it, and most importantly it's a filling meal that takes zero effort (it can be cooked in the toaster oven without even needing to dirty a pan) and costs only about a dollar.