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votes
Fun things to do as a family with teens?
We’re finding it increasingly difficult find meaningful time to spend with the kids. They’re teens but still want to do stuff together and yet with all the extracurricular and us working it’s hard to just be together. They also have their own preferences and sometimes it’s hard to find common ground.
Was hoping to find some inspiration and ideas. Thanks in advance.
Have you tried table games? That would be low "activation energy" (you don't have to get everyone together to go anywhere).
Some favorites with good replayability and some strategy:
There are also games that are more like "party games" where the emphasis is less on winning:
And of course, if you want something simple to set up and play, two classics in our house are Sorry and Uno. We also like Egyptian Ratscrew (played with a deck of cards).
For more challenge but less stuff, playing card games like hearts or spades are good. Or you can go into dominos with 42 or Mexican Train.
Each side (adult vs teens) makes a list of slang terms from your era and the other side has to guess what it means. You may ask for a hint at the cost of some of your points for that round. ie:
Word: Lit
For 5 points.
Guesser:
"To light up someones day? Like to make them happy?"
"No, try again"
"Can I have a hint?"
"This party is lit!"
(Now the guesser can only earn 4 points)
Etc etc.
Got this idea watching Bdubs try to naturally incorporate zoomer terms into his conversations on Secret Life. Guy's honestly hilarious.
We have Family Night each Friday evening. Each week, one of us picks an activity from a hat (watch media, board game, card game, read together, etc) and that person chooses whatever they want from that category for all of us to experience together. The Chooser rotates each week. Activity lasts 60-90min. I've been using my weeks to work through the audiobook for Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary, for example. (18M and 15F, for context of the kids involved). Been going on for about a year now I think...
Some of these are harder to schedule than others, but I'd say growing up that at least one day of the weekend was committed to family activities. Rated based on difficulty to scheduled.
I’m not a big fan of board games, but the rest of the house is. So they’ll play many games without me and that’s fine with me. What I do really enjoy are cooperative games and puzzles. So we’ll play at home escape room games, which are quite good most of the time. I recommend the Exit games of Thames & Kosmos, and start with an easy one even if you think you are all way too smart. ;-)
We’re not into sports much, but one thing we all enjoy are tree top climbing courses, the ones where you attach your harness at the start of a route and climb and zip line through the trees. We’ve visited maybe 15 different ones in the last 5 years and it’s always great fun. Some are challenging, some are too easy, but it doesn’t really matter much because we’re having fun as a family. I always love to see the kids helping each other when one gets stuck somewhere.
Disclaimer: I have no kids and have no idea what I'm talking about.
Maybe try to establish some sort ritual to make sure that those bonding times don't slip away due to busy schedules. Every first Sunday of the month could be your family day/night where you all go do something together, or some other schedule.
You could do a rotation where every time one person in the family picks what you're all doing to try and encourage sharing what they're passionate about. Or maybe if you want to foster more variety and curiosity the whole family has to try something new for the first time, even if only for a couple hours, and then go out to eat afterwards. Random things with low commitment you'd all normally overlook just to try it, rock climbing, tennis, VR arcade, skiing, escape room (as another commenter mentioned). You can also sprinkle in more traditional things like swimming, camping, mini golf, whatever. There's a million things out there and once you find a couple hits you can sprinkle them in as repeats.
The caveat here is obviously that much of it costs money in some form or another, so there's also nothing wrong with standard domestic bonding activities that avoid that. Regular game nights, movies, puzzles, family dinners, etc that get everyone together. Make sure to pull each other into cooking, chores, home projects, etc, anything to get you working side by side and bonding that way is great too. Occasionally pull them into your adult chores like finances, fitness, or whatever else to try and directly teach them some lessons and familiarize them with what's going to be required of them.
I'm not really sure what there is to try beyond that, I know for a certain period as a teenage boy I just was not interested in anything of the sort, all I can recommend there is to make a conscious effort to try to bond through their hobbies and their interests. But a slight disconnect as they're fully transitioning into adults can be fairly natural and healthy as they gain independence and discover themselves outside of the familial unit. Just keep making an effort and they'll come back around, I know I did and now spend more time just consciously spending time with my family than I ever did as a kid.
Sporting events? Doesn't have to be major leagues. Local or regional minor leagues can be just as fun and easier on the wallet. If weather is favorable, picnic or hiking? Trying new restaurants together?
I try to get them to cook dinner with us. One night a week we either all cook dinner together or I have the kids plan and make the meal. Bonus for them, if they do all the cooking they don't have to clean up after dinner.
It helps teach them an important skill and gets us all in the room together for conversation.
We've sporadically had conversations about "being adults" ... this is something I wish I kept up more. But it was actually really good. They've asked about things like how taxes and insurance works and, because they came up with the topics, were super interested in them.
I'm sure there are good prompt decks out there for that kind of thing as well...
Movie night really has been the most successful one of all though. We pick a series and go through the next one each movie night.
Info: Are these activities that they genuinely want to do? Or are they things that they may feel pressured into doing? (Not trying to imply anything, just want to figure out if some of them can be cut).
I've found that showing interest in their favorite activities helps greatly. My brother's love valorant, so I offered to watch the latest esports tournament with them. I know basically nothing about it but teenagers love rambling about things they're interested in, so you can learn quick.
Escape rooms?
Reserve one day a week that is for family.
Try random new things that no one has any particular objection yet. Bowling. Golfing. Hiking. That new restaurant.
I play chess and learn french w/ my son after dinner both activities are fun for both so i don't get bored... and help doesn't play along just to please me.
During the weekend we play guitar (he is starting music at school), play videogames, watch 80s movies ( the blues brothers, ghostbusters, that kind of stuff) and if the weather is nice we walk or hit the local library.
I suppose you have to find what they like or could like... and that you like too and build on top of that.