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How do you deal with stress?
Basically the title. Looking online you see stuff like "get sleep!" "eat healthy!" but that's just like general health stuff and yeah unhealthiness is stressful but it doesn't really reduce stress much.
So what do you guys do when you want to depressurize and relax a little bit? I haven't ever actually tried it but I hea want to try meditation, just need to set aside a chunk of time for it.
Poorly.
I've eliminated most stressors from my life. It is both barely sufficient, and considerably limiting.
In no particular order:
Meditation (you only need five minutes! Download the Headspace app, try it out!)
Exercise (I prefer weight training for stress relief)
Therapy (CBT/talk therapy for me, no meds, but everyone is different)
Videogames, in moderation
Medical cannabis (not for everyone and legality is an issue in most places)
Tea (valerian and kava are great)
Music - listening or playing (ukulele is easy to get into)
Play with and/or snuggle my dog
Seconded on the Headspace app. I wish I'd started using it years ago. It's a straightforward, carefully-guided meditation strategy that's conscious of research and completely avoids props (i.e. you won't find any singing bowls, chanting, or crystals here). Though it's not mentioned in the app, the introduction to each meditation guides you through activities that promote activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, so it's mostly mindfulness meditation but with a shade of deep relaxation in there too. I'd especially recommend it to anyone who thinks they could probably benefit from meditation, but doesn't want to sift through piles of New Agey stuff.
This cat knows what's up.
I need to meditate more often. When I was doing it every day, I felt myself actually regressing a little bit and becoming more impatient. But I was indeed less stressed, and better equipped to handle the impatience.
Exercise is also awesome. I don't do it because I make excuses, but when I was in college, exercise kept me sane. I do therapy now and it is a big help. Imagine if I did therapy and exercise...
Music and medicine is a solid twofer for a great, relaxing time. On Sunday I ended up smoking and dancing by myself in the garage and you know what? It was the most relaxing thing I have done in a long time.
I don't have much to add but every single thing you named is great. Anyone who is looking for a stress reliever can start here. If you don't know where to start, pick a random number between 1 and 8 (maybe skip the medical part if you are adverse to that) and try that number on OPs list.
So you became better equipped to handle impatience created by meditation?
Thank you for the kind words! 🤗 your Sunday smoke-and-dance sesh sounds wonderful! Cannabis (assuming it was cannabis, lol) isn't for everybody but it can really be wonderful - I'm thankful it exists, and that it's legal-ish in my state now. I know I am gonna sound like a tired hippie, but I am 100% honest when I say that using cannabis has made me a better person. If I'm in a tough spot in life, it forces me to examine myself and my behaviors. It's really similar to a psychedelic in that way. Furthermore, some of the best memories in my life have been created, at least in part, with the help of cannabis. It can really let you get out of your head (or get INto your head), in very good ways.
All that said, drugs are merely a shortcut to a destination. Blissful moments and healthy habits can happen completely sober!
It'd be nice if you could share your playlist.
One thing that's worked for me is just being outside, even if you're not doing anything. It brings me out of myself, experiencing the sights and sounds.
Yeah, I think what helps me the most when stressed or filled with anxiety is to go for a walk or talk to someone. It gets you out of your own head!
I'm waiting for mosquito season to end and then I'll be back outside every day.
Time spent in natural settings with minimal man-made noise. I'm desperately overdue for a long hike or paddle to somewhere quiet. Putting earplugs in at night, or substituting soundscapes with music or artificial "nature sounds", doesn't replace the brain-recharging qualities of genuine wild sounds for me.
Otherwise, POMA would second everything on @spidercat's list, with psilocybin microdosing rather than cannabis.
I might take up kickboxing, if I can ever get the work schedule and a bit of orthopedic surgery or two sorted out - the spouse swears by it.
This definitely works too (: I was just a bit hesitant to suggest psychedelics in my very first comment on Tildes, lol. That and, like cannabis, it's not for everyone. But psychedelics have definitely changed my life for the better.
Do you get ASMR? Even if you don't, a lot of the non-roleplay/just chatting videos are really relaxing and go over different topics (comfort, food, hobby-items) in a non-jarring way.
I spend a lot of time inside, so I try to get outside every day for as long as possible, even if I'm just browsing online or watching videos. Don't just sit in two, three places for the entire time you're awake. @spidercat's comment is a good overview, as well. :)
Depending on your college, you most likely have access to free therapy/counseling sessions that will do a lot more than random internet tips -- use them to your advantage!
Even if it's just to help you orient your thinking and/or coping strategies (a la CBT)! You can always talk to someone to try to get help :)
Totally understandable to be nervous as that's the natural reaction for most people the first time they visit a counselor.
Just go in with an open mind and be prepared to talk a bit about yourself and they should be able to help guide you towards helping yourself. At the end of the day, they're a human being too and are there because they want to see you reach your full potential. Making the appointment is the hardest part, so if it's something that you're having difficulty with, you can always have a trusted friend help you schedule that first appointment.
Also, as a disclaimer, some college counselors are booked for a month or so ahead of time, so just remember to keep that it mind and to not take that personally or as though your needs aren't important to them :)
For me, how I relax is less important than recognizing I'm stressed in the first place. Learning what I feel physically when stressed has helped me to catch it earlier and get out ahead of it before it grows to the point of being self-sustaining.
Really depends on what I'm stressed about. But a lot of the times a nice light hearted comedy and some takeout can ease my mind.
I wrote a bit about this on my blog.
"For me, there is a real release at the gym. I grind myself down to a pulp of a man to feel what it’s like to have all the piss and vinegar taken out of me. I’m sure some biologist or psychologist could tell me the exact what I’m making myself feel great by doing this, some sort of release of hormones. But hacking your own body to get the most of out it seems like a worthy endeavor, especially when there are so many, already mentioned, benefits. So, if I’m fooling my body into releasing a lot of hormones after putting it through an insane amount of stress, I’ll take that win."
Read the whole thing here, if you 'd like: https://medium.com/@ErikCieslewicz/the-lifters-high-a4b4d9b98eea
I struggled terribly with this, especially in my early career. Things that have helped me:
I have tried everything from weed, to alcohol, to food. I've found the best destressing for me is to play video games and use pot. Otherwise I would go insane.
I'm constantly terrified of losing my job, my house, my cars, falling into debt, and disappointing my wife and family. The only thing that gets me through is removing myself from reality.
Wow...
If you are indeed constantly terrified, I suggest to try and find help. Playing video games & using pot is not a good way to deal with this. I'm not saying both are bad, but they are not a solution to your current state of mind. Please find help.
You need to talk to someone. They even have text-based counseling nowadays in case you're too busy or hesitant to see a professional in person.
Just like overworking, the idea that high levels of stress should be a regular part of life is a cruel distortion that many people seem to believe in.
Maybe because of that, the idea that stress with A can be controlled by doing unrelated thing B is very persuasive to some. Its symptoms can be alleviated, yes, but the only sure way to reduce stress is to kill its sources. Are you in a stressful relationship? Change or end this relationship. Is your job too stressful? Quit this job, or change the way you do it. Are you afraid you don't have enough money? Get some money.
I'm not saying that meditation, medication or psychotherapy won't help. They usually do. But, to eliminate the stress caused by A, nothing beats actually solving A.
As for the question: I take medication and do psychotherapy. But, as I said, nothing beats actually addressing the problem.
This too will past.
Nothing lasts forever (even if it feels like it.)
Focus on the things you can change. Don't necessarily ignore the things you can't, but don't put nearly as much importance on then.
Can I solve it? Do that.
Does somebody else have to solve it? Have them do it.
Am I too stressed to solve it? Distract myself until I get to a reasonable level to handle it.
Is there nothing I can do? Ignore it, use distraction to calm down, or just sit with the stress and think it through completely.
I do not use any chemicals when stressed because I'm scared of depending on them, and will only drink after a situation has resolved.
My current go-to's are
Exercise (BJJ, specifically)
Dwarf Fortress
Yard work
Cry, a lot.
Joke answer aside, I try to find time for myself to do something away from the topic that is stressing me. Usually work, so I go and game with friends for a bit. It helps me unwind and for a time, push the fact that the stress exists out of my mind for a time so im more apt to endure it later.
I overeat, shitpost on the interbutt, and play ultraviolent Japanese videogames.