What do you do when you feel like nothing?
Don't really know the best way to describe this. But I bet people do know the feeling.
It's Sunday, all my chores are out of the way, and I have time to do anything, but instead I find myself not being able to decide what I want to do. I am turning on various games, looking at the title screen for a bit than turning them off again. I pick up my guitar, mess around for a few minutes then put it down again. I think about a creative project I could start, but then decide to not when I imagine how much effort it would take. Then I go back to scrolling various websites, not really interested in anything, cause it's all the same all the time. The weather is way too cold and ugly for me to go outside, so I just don't know what to do. The only nice thing is that I am listening to music in the mean time...
Think you may just be depressed, friend. I experience that same thing all the time. I never know what to do really, when it happens. Sometimes playing a game outside my comfort zone or forcing myself to learn/play a song on guitar helps me push through it, but sometimes nothing really helps the general anhedonia. In cases like that, I've learned that it's okay for me to have done basically nothing all day; I'll watch youtube videos all day or even take a nap. I don't think it's so bad to have a day full of nothing. Maybe your brain needs it.
Ennui. I'm guessing you feel like you "should be" doing something, or you're driven to be productive. Do you feel like having down time is a bad thing? That mindset will often make us unhappy when we run out of tasks on our to do list. I personally don't think it's mentally healthy to drive ourselves like this. It can make it so we feel like we are not allowed to relax when our task list isn't empty. This can make us hit a wall and burn out, especially when tasks get more long term, or involve a spouse or child.
You did your chores for the week. You're allowed to just listen to music and relax. And listening to music and relaxing isn't doing nothing. It's enjoying life. I'm sipping on cider and browsing tildes, it's snowing outside, my wife is playing FF8 and my daughter is playing games on an iPad, and honestly this is my ideal Sunday. There's no end of chores I could be doing, but I have work in the morning and so little quiet time that I am literally in therapy for anxiety now.
If you really want to "get back to it" then sit down for 10 minutes and write a list of tasks for yourself, like watch 1 show, play a video game for 30 minutes. It'll hack your brain into chasing the dopamine of checking them off the list.
Yeah I think this is kind of what's my problem. I had a long term creative project which I was super passionate about, which I would use basically all my free time on previously. I'd come home from work and go work on it. I also was really into a new game basically the whole last month. Now that the project is done and the novelty of the game wore off, I just feel a bit purposeless and lonely. I do feel like I am wasting my time, I did feel a bit guilty also that I spent basically the whole winter holidays just playing games, but it's not really that much of a problem for me usually. I wasted a ton of time playing games in the past already haha.
Listening to music and doing nothing is definitely not a problem, most of the time I really enjoy spending an evening like that. I just did a bit too much nothing, I think. Or maybe better described, I wish I was wasting time better and more efficiently... or something, that sounds really dumb typing it out now. Music is still great though -- at least not doing anything makes it easier to focus on it and appreciate it even more.
(also thanks everyone for the replies! I read everything you all wrote, it means a lot! I also did what @Oslypsis said and went and cooked myself fancier dinner than I usually do, which also felt really nice!)
Doesn’t sound dumb at all. I’ve had similar feelings at times, and in my case they came about due to a sense of racing against the clock that grows as I age — I’d looked back the past N years and not felt happy the progress (or lack thereof) made towards various long-term goals during that time.
There does seem to be a threshold of day-to-day productivity that my brain seems to have decided is ok, though, and it’s reasonable to reach. Once I’ve hit that point I don’t feel guilty about leisure time. I discovered that after I sat down and figured out which goals to focus on, which has made what and how much I need to do more clear and allows me to better schedule and appropriate time.
What you are describing sounds like a combination of Executive Dysfunction and Anhedonia. My partner experiences these as something of a side-effect from her medical issues and some of her meds, I experience them as well - depression is a common cause of both and I know that's a primary (possibly only) cause for me.
There are ways I've found to push back against it. Pick one thing to get done, something simple that doesn't need you to do multiple other things. Wash the dishes. Too much? Wash a dish - literally just one dish and if, while you are doing that you feel OK to wash another then go ahead, but if not then that's fine too. Don't recriminate yourself for not doing more, instead focus only on 'I decided to do this small X thing and did that, doing something (no matter how small) is better than doing nothing and I did something'.
Washing dishes is of course just an example - you can put anything in place of it from a chore to (since you have your chores done) anything enjoyable.
Be aware of getting stuck in a 'false choice mindset' - if you are uninterested in the options you have gone over, look for something completely different (or just a 'sidegrade' perhaps?) - you already mentioned music, maybe listen to some that is energetic, something that can get you 'pumped up'. Drugs work too - caffeine has helped me before to artificially increase my energy and mood and allow me to 'break out' of that mental state, get energetic (temporarily) and go do something. The thing is, (in my experience at least), if you succeed in doing something that can snowball into the next thing and the next and help you break out and stay out of that 'do nothing / enjoy nothing' mental state.
Well, that's my take on it anyway. I hope it is helpful.
I agree with Heichou. Maybe you could try to put a self imposed challenge on one of your games. Or try making a new dish with whatever you find in the kitchen. Google a recipe if need be.
Oh, I had that yesterday. If you can't simply "commit" to something (I ended up watching a surprisingly emotional kDrama), I'd say just put something to listen to without the pressure of listening to it. Can be music, for me right now I'm watching a tech talk, a week ago it was a slow-moving tutorial on making an RPG. The content allows me to feel less guilty simultaneously about not doing anything and not listening perfectly. Either way, I agree with Heichou that it's okay to simply "be"; you worked hard to get stuff done presumably to have that Studio Ghibli breath of quiet (however hard it may be to actually appreciate it in this day and age).
Nothing wrong with doing nothing once in a while. It can be healthy to not try and fill every waking hour with something "productive".
I have struggled with that myself and I can recommend meditation, as a way of sort of formalizing the "doing nothing" into something concrete if that helps. Or try to just listen to that music, nothing else. Otherwise just don't feel guilty for having a Sunday like this.
I really like coloring books. So many options for adults right now, pretty much every theme you can imagine. I really like geometric patterns, but that is because I am an engineer. I now have a big set of colored pencils, watercolor markers, or alcohol markers (I switch between hem depending in mood). You don't need the super fancy ones, cheap ones from amazon will do. I put on a movie or an audiobook, and just zone out. For me, it's an action movie or series that's not going to demand too much from me emotionally.
Working out will help a lot. Once you get out of the shower you're full of energy.
Yeah, I know the feeling. I use such time to clean my mess. I keep putting things where thy don't belong getting my table full of useless crap. When I feel like nothing and I don't want to game, listen to music, watch a movie I just clean that mess. I don't do that in any other time as I keep putting it away in favor of other more joyful things. So when the time "I feel like nothing, useless" comes I use it to do this specific chore.
I find keeping healthy (or trying to) helps with this. Eating a piece of fruit a day (or more if you can), taking multivitamins, going outside etc. It's important to not feel bad for forgetting a day (or week) and just jump back on.
I'm not saying it's a cure-all, brain chemistry is very complicated, or maybe there's some undiagnosed mental health thing, but at least you're giving your brain all the help you can and letting it do the rest (I also find separating my consciousness from my brain as a funky chemical factory a useful divide). And hey, no one said you have to be productive everyday, everyone needs a lazy day now and then.
When I get this feeling, it's generally because I've been inactive for too long and I'm feeling restless. Going out for a run or to workout for 30-60 minutes to expend some energy feels great, and after I'm done I feel much more content to just sit down and do something relaxing for a while.
My wife and I have been struggling with this feeling for the last week or so. We describe it as "just going through the motions." Over 3 days I've gone from, "The world hates me" to "I hate the world and want to fight it"
I've found exercise helps. Not just exercise for its own sake, but setting goals and trying to attain them. A personal example is the fact that I've never been able to do a pull-up. After working months at it, I finally got 1, and what a rush it was. Next is 2.
The other thing i found helped me was my friends. Even though there was a part of me that didn't want to see or interact with people, I forced myself to. I played games with them, and I caught myself laughing, cracking jokes, and enjoying myself in general. Afterward, it felt like something was lifted off my chest, even at least temporarily.
So much great feedback already!
I'll just reiterate, doing nothing for a while is complete fine and can be necessary to reset for the week.
It's common for me on Sundays and work evenings. I feel it's because I have a certain number of hours available before I have to sleep and be up for work and I want to do something. Like I want to maximize the "fun" left in the day/weekend but my usual diversions aren't ticking the box.
Some things I do when I hit this wall:
Usually after an hour or so of the above I'll find I'm motivated to do something else. If not that's fine rinse and repeat until it's bed time or something strikes your fancy.
I suppose the over all philosophy is if I'm unmotivated and nothing is catching my interested that's okay. Turn my focus out of the internal ennui and connect externally.
Edit: final advice is not for everyone. But sometimes these moments are just a good time to get a little high. Listen to some music, reflect, let your mind wander. When it isn't too cold outside, take a walk and be present.
Gym, with a good training program and app. Although that might require some temporary outsideness to get there.