16 votes

In-flight canoodling: is it ever acceptable to spoon at 40,000ft?

36 comments

  1. [11]
    Sodliddesu
    Link
    So, I think my big problem is one of vocabulary. The article's main point, "Spooning makes people uncomfortable," and then they link to a picture of two people entwined... Not spooning! Spooning...

    So, I think my big problem is one of vocabulary.

    The article's main point, "Spooning makes people uncomfortable," and then they link to a picture of two people entwined... Not spooning! Spooning is two people facing the same direction, like two spoons in a drawer, not legs interwoven facing each other.

    The only picture not hyperlinked in the article is two people sitting up kissing, by the by, you have to click through their link to see what the actual incident was.

    Then the article goes on to say

    That was the consensus on travel website The Points Guy where an etiquette expert advised that: “Once you get to the point where you’re tonguing your partner down, you’ve crossed the line of good manners.”

    So I've got this rollercoaster going on. The imagery presents a mouth closed lip kiss and the verbage presents two people snuggling, what the hell are these puritans worked up about!

    Then I clicked the link and see two people, barefoot, wound up in each other with legs in the aisle... Yeah, no, that's awful.

    Oh, The Guardian, even with my low expectations you still fail to meet them in terms of journalistic output.

    44 votes
    1. [5]
      sparkle
      Link Parent
      To add another fork in the spoon slot, commercial airliners very rarely fly at 40,000 feet. You typically only see that in private jets in which case, do whatever you like back there as long as...

      To add another fork in the spoon slot, commercial airliners very rarely fly at 40,000 feet. You typically only see that in private jets in which case, do whatever you like back there as long as it's your charter/jet

      28 votes
      1. [4]
        xk3
        Link Parent
        I think most people don't really care about the exact altitude of the plane because it is a figure of speech. I think the word for it is metonymy? If the article said "at or above 30,000 feet" or...

        I think most people don't really care about the exact altitude of the plane because it is a figure of speech. I think the word for it is metonymy?

        If the article said "at or above 30,000 feet" or "between 33,000 and 42,000 feet" instead of 40,000 feet it would seem oddly specific and it might not make people think of air travel as immediately

        14 votes
        1. [3]
          sparkle
          Link Parent
          That's a fair point and as an aviation nerd, I sometimes lose my head in the clouds. That being said though, my comment was more of adding to the list of how bizarrely off the article was - would...

          That's a fair point and as an aviation nerd, I sometimes lose my head in the clouds.

          That being said though, my comment was more of adding to the list of how bizarrely off the article was - would it have been too much to lookup "what altitude do jetliners fly at" and put 36,000 feet?

          8 votes
          1. [2]
            bitwaba
            Link Parent
            I think the answer is "which ever altitude air traffic control tells them".

            I think the answer is "which ever altitude air traffic control tells them".

            4 votes
            1. DefinitelyNotAFae
              Link Parent
              I just left the dad joke thread and come to this! lol /joke /offtopic

              I just left the dad joke thread and come to this! lol

              /joke /offtopic

              1 vote
    2. [5]
      GenuinelyCrooked
      Link Parent
      The title of the article had me a bit worried. Usually on long flights I end up sort of snuggling with my husband (our heads resting on each other and my feet maybe draped over his legs) because...

      The title of the article had me a bit worried. Usually on long flights I end up sort of snuggling with my husband (our heads resting on each other and my feet maybe draped over his legs) because it allows us to get into a position where we can sleep without encroaching on other passenger's space. He's a little too big to fit comfortably in an airplane seat, and I'm small enough to fit very well but my feet don't usually reach the floor comfortably. By combining our space, we make the most efficient use of it. It's ergonomics, not exhibitionism.

      I've always assumed that crossing the invisible boundary into someone else's seat-area was the absolute worst thing that could happen, and as long as we avoid that, no one will care if we look a bit cozy. The title had me panicked that we've been upsetting people on flights this whole time, but the actual article was pretty reassuring. Not only were those pictures much more intimate than we'd ever get, they also broke my cardinal rule! They've extended into other passenger's space. Willfully encroaching into shared space like that is unacceptable. The intimacy level causing it is a much lower level of concern, in my opinion.

      20 votes
      1. vord
        Link Parent
        Agreed. If you're not encroaching others space, leaving stains on yours, and not being obnoxiously loud, I don't care.

        Agreed. If you're not encroaching others space, leaving stains on yours, and not being obnoxiously loud, I don't care.

        13 votes
      2. [3]
        chocobean
        Link Parent
        Yeah you could even go without a blanket if you want to absolutely be clear nothing funny is going on. But on the other hand it's a long flight, if you're within your invisible borders and quiet...

        Yeah you could even go without a blanket if you want to absolutely be clear nothing funny is going on. But on the other hand it's a long flight, if you're within your invisible borders and quiet maybe it's no one's business.

        Also yes it's awful when my short legs dangle! I try to put backpack and jacket on the ground as foot rest but of course they don't like that for safety, has to be under the other seat. It's for quick evacuation right?

        4 votes
        1. [2]
          GenuinelyCrooked
          Link Parent
          I think it's for quick evacuation, and so if there's turbulence it hits the underside of the seat rather than flying up and maybe hitting someone. We never use a blanket, but I certainly could not...

          I think it's for quick evacuation, and so if there's turbulence it hits the underside of the seat rather than flying up and maybe hitting someone.

          We never use a blanket, but I certainly could not care less what any other passengers are quietly, odorlessly, doing under their blankets in their own space.

          If I figure out any other good solutions for the leg dangling, I'll let you know, and you do the same!

          2 votes
          1. chocobean
            Link Parent
            I sometimes lightly put my feet up atop the pockets with my socked toes "holding on" ..... If someone I know is sitting one row ahead then that's even better, I put them on their arm rest :p...

            I sometimes lightly put my feet up atop the pockets with my socked toes "holding on" .....

            If someone I know is sitting one row ahead then that's even better, I put them on their arm rest :p sitting cross legged works for a short stretch as well. Best case is if I get an empty seat then I curl up across two seats.

            Another solution is mid calf height boots but theyre not under the seat again, so that's still cheating.

            1 vote
  2. [18]
    gowestyoungman
    Link
    Canoodling would be rude, but so is a whole lot of other flying behavior. A really wide guy beside me taking up all of his seat, plus the armrest plus his body is encroaching into my seat so that...

    Canoodling would be rude, but so is a whole lot of other flying behavior. A really wide guy beside me taking up all of his seat, plus the armrest plus his body is encroaching into my seat so that I had to lean a bit to not be touching him. Not cool. Or the kid screaming 12 rows back who is making everyone edgy because it's a red eye flight and no one's getting any sleep. Or the drunk guy behind me who won't stop talking loudly even though everyone has been trying to shush him for hours and the flight attendants have asked him to be quiet multiple times... and that doesn't include the multiple instances in the news lately of people losing their cool and making a scene that makes everyone cringe because they're wondering if they're going to go ballistic and need to be restrained.

    Good lord, there's a reason I will GLADLY drive my own car 3000 miles rather than fly. I dont care if it takes me days and I have to sleep in the driver's seat, I want my personal space and not deal with other people's rudeness, inability to read the room and uncivil behavior. The golden age of air travel is over.

    4 votes
    1. [2]
      freedomischaos
      Link Parent
      I know it's a massive privilege but flying First Class (at least in domestic flights) is amazing for enjoying a level of flying in an airplane again. However, I'm with you on just road tripping...

      I know it's a massive privilege but flying First Class (at least in domestic flights) is amazing for enjoying a level of flying in an airplane again.

      However, I'm with you on just road tripping over flying in general and basically anything that is 8 hours or less is a driving trip for sure without much thought of a flight. Over that, I'll consider flying (though still lean towards driving) unless I need to bring stuff even if it all might fit in checked bags, having a car vs renting one and just not having to pack it "perfectly" and under weight limits is just so much more enjoyable for traveling. It is rare that flying wins. I also just enjoy driving for the most part especially thru mountains.

      4 votes
      1. gowestyoungman
        Link Parent
        The only time Ive been able to justify it was flying standby with an airline employee so it was free. And then indeed it was glorious. Definitely made me never want to sit with the Great Unwashed...

        The only time Ive been able to justify it was flying standby with an airline employee so it was free. And then indeed it was glorious. Definitely made me never want to sit with the Great Unwashed behind the Curtain of Privilege ever again lol.

        1 vote
    2. [7]
      teaearlgraycold
      Link Parent
      I feel like me and everyone else are living in different aviation universes. Flying sucks because it's cramped. Maybe rarely there will be a crying baby, which is mostly solved by noise cancelling...

      I feel like me and everyone else are living in different aviation universes. Flying sucks because it's cramped. Maybe rarely there will be a crying baby, which is mostly solved by noise cancelling headphones. All of these other issues seem like they're pretty rare.

      For context I usually fly across the US, around 5 hours, never do red-eyes unless it's impossible to avoid, always fly economy in a window seat, and typically use American Airlines or Alaska.

      I tried first class during the pandemic because it was cheaper than a normal economy ticket. Definitely nicer but also definitely not worth the normal cost.

      4 votes
      1. [6]
        ackables
        Link Parent
        I'm 5'6" which I believe is the size of person they design economy seats for on airplanes. I have tons of room for my legs, my knees are never affected by someone reclining, and I don't really...

        I'm 5'6" which I believe is the size of person they design economy seats for on airplanes. I have tons of room for my legs, my knees are never affected by someone reclining, and I don't really spill into adjacent seats.

        I think flying is just fine, but I understand how larger people have trouble with it.

        1 vote
        1. [3]
          teaearlgraycold
          Link Parent
          I don’t know. I’m 6’1” and usually have a backpack below the seat in front of me. But I’m also young and my body will accept some physical abuse (but not much sleep deprivation).

          I don’t know. I’m 6’1” and usually have a backpack below the seat in front of me. But I’m also young and my body will accept some physical abuse (but not much sleep deprivation).

          2 votes
          1. [2]
            ackables
            Link Parent
            I also highly suspect that bad posture may be the cause of reduced leg room for some people. If you are used to putting your lower back against the seatback, your legs stick out less than if you...

            I also highly suspect that bad posture may be the cause of reduced leg room for some people. If you are used to putting your lower back against the seatback, your legs stick out less than if you slide your butt forward and slouch.

            3 votes
            1. teaearlgraycold
              Link Parent
              Yeah I have managed to improve my posture significantly through back exercises.

              Yeah I have managed to improve my posture significantly through back exercises.

              2 votes
        2. [2]
          gowestyoungman
          Link Parent
          Thats a big part of the discomfort for those of us in the 'giraffe' size. On some planes I cant even put my knees directly ahead of me, I have to do a slight leg spread because there isnt enough...

          Thats a big part of the discomfort for those of us in the 'giraffe' size. On some planes I cant even put my knees directly ahead of me, I have to do a slight leg spread because there isnt enough leg room. And Ive had my leg whacked more than once by the drink cart going by in the aisle.
          I've argued that tall people should get the extra legroom seats at no extra charge if they're above a certain height (like 6'2"), we didnt choose our height and airlines need to be more accommodating rather than trying to charge us extra for our "disadvantage".

          1 vote
          1. DefinitelyNotAFae
            Link Parent
            As an aisle seat person so that I don't annoy people for existing in a larger body (and I'm on the smaller end of fat) who leans into the aisle for more room, I feel you on getting whacked with a...

            As an aisle seat person so that I don't annoy people for existing in a larger body (and I'm on the smaller end of fat) who leans into the aisle for more room, I feel you on getting whacked with a cart, or sometimes with a flight attendant's butt. I take up my space but I'm so self conscious of how others respond to me, it's the worst.

            It'd be nice if seats were made for people over 5'6" and over 200lbs.

            3 votes
    3. [8]
      chocobean
      Link Parent
      Road tripping is its own joy of course, but surely you'd still save time and money flying first class? Also consider flying smaller private companies if they're short trips. I wish one could still...

      Road tripping is its own joy of course, but surely you'd still save time and money flying first class? Also consider flying smaller private companies if they're short trips.

      I wish one could still buy up adjacent seats but I think they don't let you do that anymore: if they don't check in they re-sell them to others, right?

      1 vote
      1. [2]
        DeaconBlue
        Link Parent
        How would one go about finding these companies?

        Also consider flying smaller private companies if they're short trips.

        How would one go about finding these companies?

        3 votes
        1. nukeman
          Link Parent
          Look up air charters in general, or for companies at your local airports, including smaller non-commercial ones. Warning, they start out very expensive (as in thousands for a short-haul,...

          Look up air charters in general, or for companies at your local airports, including smaller non-commercial ones. Warning, they start out very expensive (as in thousands for a short-haul, single-engine prop plane that seats four).

          2 votes
      2. [5]
        freedomischaos
        Link Parent
        Time maybe but definitely not money on flying vs driving. Driving is almost always cheaper by hundreds of dollars unless it is to somewhere very popular, but even then still tends to win but comes...

        Time maybe but definitely not money on flying vs driving. Driving is almost always cheaper by hundreds of dollars unless it is to somewhere very popular, but even then still tends to win but comes closer to comparison.

        In example the closest I can get to near equal is a flight to Chicago from Pittsburgh is about 120 one way. I'd spend about 60 on gas to get there, maybe 80 but round trip and I'm still up a hundred bucks. Where I'd probably lose money is parking in Chicago.

        3 votes
        1. [3]
          gowestyoungman
          Link Parent
          Its much worse in Canada. From Calgary to Vancouver is a 10.5 hr drive and would cost me about $250 in fuel. If I wanted to fly "business class" there tomorrow the flight would be about $1150....

          Its much worse in Canada. From Calgary to Vancouver is a 10.5 hr drive and would cost me about $250 in fuel. If I wanted to fly "business class" there tomorrow the flight would be about $1150. Plus baggage fees. Plus taxes and you're up to $1300. For a 1.5 hr flight. And then renting a car when you arrive. Thats just nuts unless money is no object.

          2 votes
          1. [2]
            Dr_Amazing
            Link Parent
            Went Calgary to PEI once. It was basically a week of driving and I don't even want to know what I spent on gas.

            Went Calgary to PEI once. It was basically a week of driving and I don't even want to know what I spent on gas.

            1 vote
            1. gowestyoungman
              Link Parent
              Went Calgary to Texas once to pick up a truck and two trailers and haul them home with the (7.4L gas) pull vehicle hitting an atrocious 3 mpg against the wind. It had 15 gallon saddle tanks and...

              Went Calgary to Texas once to pick up a truck and two trailers and haul them home with the (7.4L gas) pull vehicle hitting an atrocious 3 mpg against the wind. It had 15 gallon saddle tanks and I'd fill them up and they'd be empty in 45 minutes on the highway. I still haven't told my wife what I spent on gas but it was about half the value of the truck. But we just chalk that up to the cost of adventure on a road trip... or at least that's how I sleep at night.

              1 vote
  3. Pretzilla
    Link
    It's easy enough to get yer groove on without making a scene. And fun to walk the aisles and see by their expressions there's action under the blanket. It's not a secret this happens all the time.

    It's easy enough to get yer groove on without making a scene. And fun to walk the aisles and see by their expressions there's action under the blanket.

    It's not a secret this happens all the time.

    1 vote
  4. [6]
    skyfaller
    (edited )
    Link
    It's unacceptable to spoon at 40,000 feet because it's unacceptable to use airplanes, given the climate crisis. https://flightfree.org/ (Also given the continuing pandemic and slow collapse of...

    It's unacceptable to spoon at 40,000 feet because it's unacceptable to use airplanes, given the climate crisis. https://flightfree.org/

    (Also given the continuing pandemic and slow collapse of public health, which is exacerbated by people flying around packed tight in poorly ventilated containers, and carrying diseases rapidly between continents.)

    5 votes
    1. [2]
      Grumble4681
      Link Parent
      What's the alternative? Driving is seemingly not much lower emissions depending on the vehicle.

      What's the alternative? Driving is seemingly not much lower emissions depending on the vehicle.

      8 votes
      1. skyfaller
        Link Parent
        The real alternative is radical action to stop emissions immediately! Perhaps occupying the nearest fossil fuel infrastructure or billionaire's estate. We all generally know where the biggest...

        The real alternative is radical action to stop emissions immediately! Perhaps occupying the nearest fossil fuel infrastructure or billionaire's estate. We all generally know where the biggest sources of emissions are, and we could shut them down right now if we treated the climate crisis like a crisis. Knock doors for progressive candidates and pass a Green New Deal, do something, anything. Organize, because you can't accomplish much alone.

        But for people who aren't able to take serious action to actually avert the climate crisis, I think the principle of "first, do no harm" should apply, and they should consider not doing things that cause significant emissions, like long-distance travel. If all of your travel options involve fossil fuels, like gas cars, then airplanes in some circumstances can be competitive in terms of emissions per mile; but one problem is airplanes encourage you to fly around the world on longer journeys that you would never attempt through other methods, resulting in higher emissions even if the per-mile emissions are similar. And of course we need to stop using fossil fuels entirely, so if you must travel, finding options that do not rely on fossil fuels should be a priority.

        Once again, our primary efforts should go towards taking action to actually address the climate crisis, but I really do think that avoiding making the problem worse is a bare minimum moral obligation, and "I'm too busy to take action" doesn't get you off the hook.

    2. GenuinelyCrooked
      Link Parent
      Unfortunately that would mean committing to never seeing my family again. Or at least, not until I can take enough time off of work to take a cargo or sailing ship and still have time to spend...

      Unfortunately that would mean committing to never seeing my family again. Or at least, not until I can take enough time off of work to take a cargo or sailing ship and still have time to spend with them when I get there, which I guess would be when I retire in 30 or 40 years.

      6 votes
    3. [2]
      updawg
      Link Parent
      Airplanes are extremely well-ventilated, with all the air being cycled out and replaced every 2-3 minutes.

      Airplanes are extremely well-ventilated, with all the air being cycled out and replaced every 2-3 minutes.

      3 votes
      1. skyfaller
        Link Parent
        I'm willing to believe that airplanes are well-ventilated in-flight; although if nobody checks and keeps them accountable, airlines and companies like Boeing could cut corners with ventilation...

        I'm willing to believe that airplanes are well-ventilated in-flight; although if nobody checks and keeps them accountable, airlines and companies like Boeing could cut corners with ventilation systems too, just like they cut corners on other vital safety systems.

        But air filtration systems are not always turned on while the plane is on the ground — that's why planes can feel quite stuffy while they're parked at the gate. I haven't flown since before the pandemic, so I can't speak from personal experience, but I saw many people on my social networks post photos of alarming CO2 concentrations measured by e.g. Aranet4 while waiting on the ground, often for depressingly long periods of time.

        1 vote