kaffo's recent activity

  1. Comment on Sleep struggles: how do I get better sleep quality? in ~life

    kaffo
    Link Parent
    I dare say I may have found the problem OP lol. If I were you I'd still go mattress shopping, just to try them out. Lie on every single one in every single store and work out what you actually...

    I dare say I may have found the problem OP lol.
    If I were you I'd still go mattress shopping, just to try them out. Lie on every single one in every single store and work out what you actually like.
    I don't know if there's any way to make a decision, because it's kinda personal taste. For me I had a lot of "eh it's OK" and "oh shit no" then I lay on one and I was like "oh... I don't want to move, I love this..."

    Anyway, once you have that nailed down, I'd honestly try the second hand market. Some people will not take a second hand mattress, honestly I feel a bit weird about it myself. But if you're patient and smart you can get something close to what you found too liked and cheap (or free!).

    Anyway, that's my advice. I think you're doomed until you fix that and then you'll sleep perfectly fine.

    2 votes

  2. Comment on Sleep struggles: how do I get better sleep quality? in ~life

    kaffo
    Link
    I am shocked there are so many comments on this thread with so much bizzare advice and strategies and no-one has asked "do you have a good quality bed and mattress?" Like sleeping environment is a...

    I am shocked there are so many comments on this thread with so much bizzare advice and strategies and no-one has asked "do you have a good quality bed and mattress?"

    Like sleeping environment is a huge deal, it can make your day time wonderful, or complete hell.

    Please audit your bed, your bedroom, duvet, bed sheets and your mattress especially. A mattress that suits you will allow you to fall asleep and stay asleep because you're like... Actually comfortable? Same goes for temperature! If the room is too hot, too cold, or the light levels are wrong. You can count to a million hanging upside down from the roof and you won't get to sleep because the environment sucks.

    The other one is actually being tired, and I saw some comments mention exercise. Cardio is great, do more cardio! But you can be completely shattered and still not sleep if your bed is like sleeping on nails.

    8 votes

  3. Comment on Waving goodbye, carrying my bundle on a stick in ~talk

    kaffo
    Link Parent
    That's fair. I did see that comment thread but I only skimmed because I found it difficult to related anywhere in the conversation. I do have the privilege of being a straight, cis, white man and...

    That's fair. I did see that comment thread but I only skimmed because I found it difficult to related anywhere in the conversation.
    I do have the privilege of being a straight, cis, white man and I know it is a lot easier to find a safe space. Appreciate you calling it out.

    2 votes

  4. Comment on Autistic/Neurodivergent/"just stubborn" members: how did you [happily] learn to do something you couldn't just instantly do? in ~life

    kaffo
    Link
    This comment might not help, but I'll post anyway. I've been diagnosed with ADHD and I'm trying mediciation now. The medication helps with starting and finishing stuff I WANT to do, but you've hit...

    This comment might not help, but I'll post anyway. I've been diagnosed with ADHD and I'm trying mediciation now.
    The medication helps with starting and finishing stuff I WANT to do, but you've hit a sore spot with the "stuff I DON'T want to do"

    Even now, if I have something that I need to learn, but don't want to, it's a nightmare. Learning a language is a nightmare because I am just not that interested, it doesn't come to me naturally and it annoys me deeply that language is so unstructured and natural, I like the structure and logic in technical/science like a lot of the neurospicy folk.

    So uh, I kinda have bursts of progress? It's slow going but I'm learning. I'll go a couple of weeks where I don't make much progress at all, then I'll buckle down and think "I need to actually learn something dammit" and I'll go a couple of weeks of learning.
    If I was consistent, I'd be fluent by now lol, but I'm trying to be kind to myself and think about the positives, it's going in the right direction and I'll get there EVENTUALLY.

    FWIW the same advice never worked for me either for stuff I didn't really enjoy or was good at. I could break learning down into small steps then just never do it lol.

    3 votes

  5. Comment on Waving goodbye, carrying my bundle on a stick in ~talk

    kaffo
    Link Parent
    Every time there's a post about some drama here I (rarely) know what anyone is talking about lol. Sure sometimes it's super obvious and all over the front page, but usually someone posts something...

    Every time there's a post about some drama here I (rarely) know what anyone is talking about lol.
    Sure sometimes it's super obvious and all over the front page, but usually someone posts something like this and I'm scratching my head.
    I'm pretty sure I'm subbed to everything except sport maybe. I don't read every thread obviously, but like uh, it never seems that bad?
    Guess it's all subjective!

    30 votes

  6. Comment on Any significant changes to Tildes are extremely unlikely in ~tildes.official

    kaffo
    Link
    Thanks for posting! This does all feel bittersweet. On the positive, it's the way the site has been run for a long time and honestly, the fact we haven't changed except for required changes is...

    Thanks for posting!

    This does all feel bittersweet. On the positive, it's the way the site has been run for a long time and honestly, the fact we haven't changed except for required changes is exactly why tildes has stayed around and we all (OK most of us) like it.

    @Deimos would you consider doing a proper retrospective post on tildes as an experiment/project?
    I would be really interested to hear about how you feel about the site's success in more detail, those failures and successes you mentioned in other comments.
    I understand a post like that might take a while to write, but I would sure really enjoy reading it!

    Thanks anyway for putting this place together in the first place, and opting to keep the lights on. It's clear that you understand online communities in ways that most mortals do not.

    Hope life is treating you well, best wishes!

    42 votes

  7. Comment on D6 TTRPG suggestions in ~games.tabletop

    kaffo
    Link
    If you feel attached to DnD for some reason, play Dungeon World. It's a little janky honestly, it's not perfect. But as a narrative DnD it's a huge step in the right direction and if you are...

    If you feel attached to DnD for some reason, play Dungeon World. It's a little janky honestly, it's not perfect. But as a narrative DnD it's a huge step in the right direction and if you are willing to step into the narrative mind set, rather than the traditional, hellish, planned, hours long, bumpy slog that DnD is then you could be on the road to never go back.

    If you want something really out there then StoneTop. Which is made by some nerds and m at least one of made homebrew to make Dungeon World actually playable, and it shows how good it is.

    2 votes

  8. Comment on Is it time to include pronouns? in ~tildes

    kaffo
    Link Parent
    Holy shit, count me as one. That is one buried feature. For those reading and also feeling gas lit. It seems like if the user does not set a bio, nothing appears on their page. To set a bio you...

    Holy shit, count me as one. That is one buried feature.

    For those reading and also feeling gas lit. It seems like if the user does not set a bio, nothing appears on their page. To set a bio you need to go to settings and edit your bio, then it will appear!

    9 votes

  9. Comment on Craft - A new AI powered TTRPG engine in open beta in ~games.tabletop

    kaffo
    Link Parent
    I'll admit I'm struggling to vocalize exactly what it is I'm doing differently here than what I run and play in real life. Maybe a better way to describe it is that I've been looking for something...

    I'll admit I'm struggling to vocalize exactly what it is I'm doing differently here than what I run and play in real life.

    Maybe a better way to describe it is that I've been looking for something that is essentially a video game that doesn't exist. I could make the video game, but a. I don't particularly care or want to share it, it'd be made for me by me and b. Unless I had some randomizer or brought in someone with some writing talent, as the creator I'd know all the material, I couldn't possibly be seeing the content for the first time. More likely I'd be so sick of it that'd it'd not be fun any more.

    A tool like this lets me write out my game rules, I can seed the setting/world with enough content to start. Then give the agent tools and instructions to generate from there.
    Sure it's not perfect. But time/effort invested for value/fun out is high compared to other methods I've tried in the past.

    I can COMPLETELY understand if you didn't have something that you wanted to create, this would not seem appealing. If I went to the play screen and saw "generic fantasy adventure" I'd be like "uh no thanks".

    6 votes

  10. Comment on Craft - A new AI powered TTRPG engine in open beta in ~games.tabletop

    kaffo
    Link Parent
    Re copy right, it's crossed my mind for sure. There's the issue you've mentioned of the AI generating copy right material from it's model and also users uploading copy right material unknowingly...

    Re copy right, it's crossed my mind for sure. There's the issue you've mentioned of the AI generating copy right material from it's model and also users uploading copy right material unknowingly or otherwise. It's a mess.

    Re the first point on context and the agent's ability to keep memory. LLM's do kind of suck for this kind of story telling on general, but Craft has opted to let the user choose how to manage the context. When you build the world and system, you choose if files are only searchable by the agent or are always in its context. It also has skills you can trigger based off both events and text input. So you have a reasonably high degree of control over what the agent does to manage it's context and the "flow" of the game.

    2 votes

  11. Comment on What are your memorable airport stories? in ~transport

    kaffo
    Link
    I have some but I'll share my favourite. When I emigrated 3 years ago I obviously had like two suitcases full of all my crap. One had as much medication for my prescription drugs as I could get...

    I have some but I'll share my favourite.

    When I emigrated 3 years ago I obviously had like two suitcases full of all my crap. One had as much medication for my prescription drugs as I could get from the pharmacy, so I had loads of buffer while I setup a GP.
    To no-one's surprise, I got stopped by customs as I tried to leave the airport (I missed my train too which sucked). The guy spend ages itemizing all my drugs, asking me questions about what they were and what I took them for, blah blah.
    I got the vibe he was not happy, and I was getting a bit nervous.
    Then he pulled out a small pink bag out the case and asked "what's this?"
    I'm like "sex toys and condoms, I brought them with me"
    Dude froze. Didn't even look, then just started putting stuff back in the case. He muttered "you're not allowed to bring in more than 60 days of any one drug, but I'll let you off this time"

    I thought they'd be battle hardened to stuff like sex toys, but apparently not! Maybe he was new lol.

    5 votes

  12. Comment on Craft - A new AI powered TTRPG engine in open beta in ~games.tabletop

    kaffo
    Link Parent
    No, you have a valid point. I admire it's ability to fill in blanks and achieve broad strokes on the fly. It's able to generate a new NPC or location based of theme and context with some pretty...

    No, you have a valid point.
    I admire it's ability to fill in blanks and achieve broad strokes on the fly.
    It's able to generate a new NPC or location based of theme and context with some pretty good results. But the art is so obviously AI and it's impossible to achieve any level of accuracy in detail.

    I suspect the answer to this would be to replace the AI art with regular, human created art for characters, places and things you care about and see frequently.

    What it does do, is it gives the play window a good general theme, especially for the art that's in thumb nails and hard to see in detail.

    1 vote

  13. Comment on Craft - A new AI powered TTRPG engine in open beta in ~games.tabletop

    kaffo
    Link Parent
    I understand where you're coming from. I had a strong feeling that at least one person would comment something similar. So I do agree that it's unfortunate that a game/tool like this is probably...

    I understand where you're coming from. I had a strong feeling that at least one person would comment something similar.

    So I do agree that it's unfortunate that a game/tool like this is probably taking away from someone somewhere seeking a real life experience and being social.
    But it is just a different game/tool really. Yes it would be great if they didn't polute the same space. I've seen "Ai story teller" go around but I've never liked the term.

    For me, it gives me a completely different experience I can't get with real people.
    I've built a Snowpiercer setting/world with enough seeded material to get me going and then given the AI instructions on how to keep the game world feeling alive while I do a turn on my phone occasionally on public transport or something.
    The kind of tweaking and tuning to get the game design how I've always wanted it (I've had a very specific idea for this game) and also making it a sandbox is extremely niche. With friends this game would be very different, and I've opted intentionally not to even bother designing it or running it IRL.

    7 votes

  14. Comment on Craft - A new AI powered TTRPG engine in open beta in ~games.tabletop

    kaffo
    Link Parent
    It's both really! It's an all in one platform, it's pretty slick. I've tried others before and there's always a rubbing point somewhere. Usually they have some overly complicated harness/agent...

    It's both really! It's an all in one platform, it's pretty slick.
    I've tried others before and there's always a rubbing point somewhere. Usually they have some overly complicated harness/agent that you can't modify and unless you play what they advertise, you end up with a sub par experience.

    5 votes

  15. Comment on Craft - A new AI powered TTRPG engine in open beta in ~games.tabletop

    kaffo
    (edited )
    Link
    I found this while stumbling around looking for an older TTRPG story telling engine and I am extremely impressed. I normally wouldn't post something like this, but my first impression is very...

    I found this while stumbling around looking for an older TTRPG story telling engine and I am extremely impressed.
    I normally wouldn't post something like this, but my first impression is very good.

    It's also got completely free credits on its Deepseek model for a couple of weeks to try it out. It's capable at most simple tasks.

    What makes this stand out from previous tools is a few things:

    • Tools are provided for developers and agents to create a system and a world for the game to play in. There's a huge amount of flexibility here as you can define your own data structures and lay them out how you want
    • The play window is simple, but customisable. You can create images, maps, style the UI and UX to make your game feel right
    • There's support for step by step flows into the game to set it up
    • Everything is markdown, json and images. It's extremely simple and really easy to edit

    Give it a go if you don't hate AI!
    I'm having a great time making a snowpiercer world.

    8 votes

  17. Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (August 2026) in ~health.mental

    kaffo
    Link
    Here's a recap of the last update if you didn't read any of my other posts: I broke up with my partner of 4 years around 2 months ago I moved out and into an apartment in a new city with little to...

    Here's a recap of the last update if you didn't read any of my other posts:

    • I broke up with my partner of 4 years around 2 months ago
    • I moved out and into an apartment in a new city with little to no support/friends/family
    • At the same time I'm working with a psychiatrist trying out ADHD medication

    The Bad

    I'm still recovering from my previous relationship, I'm aware I'm not over my ex yet. The emotions there and the residual feelings are extremely weird. I mean the relationship was extremely weird and I've thought about it enough that I'm getting sick of it. This week I've felt better and found that she (and the relationship) have sprung to my mind less often, but it's still there and I suspect it will be a while before I get to enjoy that blissful moment where I realise "Oh I haven't thought about my ex in ages!".

    My life is still not settled yet and it bothers me sometimes. I get that it's early, but I'm still trying to find a routine that suites me and I'm keeping myself busy. Sometimes I feel rushed/out of energy and I end up frustrated at myself for pushing myself so hard. I've not yet achieved the balance and I know it will come.

    Last month I contacted 2 therapists during the holiday period and I'm waiting for them to come back. I think it should be this week or next week. I really want to start talking to someone professionally and it feels like it's been years with the density of the last 2 months.

    Work has been terrible, I honestly don't want to talk about it because it's depressing. But it's turning into a lot of work for not much reward. There is some light on the horizon next year, but it's looking to be at least 4 months of misery before then.

    The Good

    The best thing about all of this is finding a good social circle. It feels like it's genuinely putting me back together. Out of pure luck I stumbled into a reasonably large group of people who, by extension, have their own friends. Obviously I don't get on with every single person there, but the vast majority are really nice and I feel like I fit in too! I genuinely don't think I've had such a strong social circle ever which is crazy to think I just landed here and these were the first people I met. It's a nice, reasonably diverse group too which I love. I've now got 4 people's direct phone numbers and I feel totally good arranging things with them. Plus I've been invited to stuff too! I got invited to a Birthday party last Friday and it was a really fun evening.

    Medication for ADHD has been honestly life changing, I said I would write about it in full at some point and I will. The short version is that day to day I now have the motivation to actually start and complete all the things I've always wanted to do. My social anxiety has also gone from baseline 8/10 to 2/10, which is completely incredible. The sequence of: "I would like to see my friend and chat over a beer", pick up the phone, arrange it, then go. Has gone from getting stuck at step 2, because of anxiety, I forget or get distracted to just doing it every time and it's wonderful.

    While there is a lot going on in my life, and there's a lot of messy emotions, it's triggered a real sense of change. I've realised I don't know myself well enough. My sense of "self" is quite muddy. So I've given myself a short list of tasks/questions to answer as a goal. I feel good about it! It's something that I know I've been missing for a long time but I was never sure how to answer. Now I've sat down and I've given myself some direction (and I want to talk to a professional about it too) I expect to start being able to answer those questions in the coming weeks/months.

    The Confusing

    Knowing myself better and what I need/want is really important. And not knowing these things has caused me so many problems in my life.
    I tried having a one night stand (for the first time!) 2 weeks ago and it was... fine! I'm really glad I went but I had a lot of thought and feelings to shift through afterwards. It's left me thinking about my emotional needs, my physical needs... I helped answer some questions then raised a few more lol. I've taken myself off the market for now though. I need a clear head before I start having any kind of interaction with anyone like that TBH.

    Another new thing that's on my mind which is quite difficult is trying to imagine myself from another person's point of view. My look, style, vibes, energy, way I talk. When someone meets me, what is their first impression? I want to understand that aspect better. It's easy to change look and style if what I'm doing now is giving off the wrong message. I don't plan to change or mask "myself" but if I do identify problematic things, then I can think about if I do want to do something about it or not.
    One thing I've already identified is when I am stressed or nervous (like a date!) I become EXTREMELY intense. Becoming aware of this makes it so clear why I can get a first date, then not a second date. So part of my checklist is to chill the fuck out! More exposure, less pressure on social interactions like dates and interviews and more focus on the fun. All good shit.

    Working on myself has made me really consider my passions. I'm not passionate about anything really and it sucks. I'm searching for that. Likewise I'm also being much more open minded and re-testing sexuality. I've done it before, though the landscape of sexuality is different again in 2026. I have found that I like putting a label on people as much any more and the idea of considering each individual on a case by case basis feels quite liberating.

    Conclusion

    There is a lot going on right now. I have a long way to go! But right now things are mostly good, I'm pretty happy! My life goal is still to find a long term partner and I can see myself in the medium/long term finding a really great/compatible partner. At least sitting writing this just now, I feel like I have the patience to wait for the right person. Something I have not had before, I was deathly frightened about dying alone!
    Instead, I'm going to have a really cool life and I'm going to work to be happy alone. Like genuinely. THEN I can open the door to let another person into my life long term.

    8 votes

  18. Comment on Help selecting a mechanical keyboard in ~comp

    kaffo
    Link Parent
    If it's anything like the Das I had, it had a steel back plate and the plastic was rock solid. I felt like I could run it over with a main battle tank and it would survive. I really liked my Das,...

    If it's anything like the Das I had, it had a steel back plate and the plastic was rock solid. I felt like I could run it over with a main battle tank and it would survive.

    I really liked my Das, but I moved away to a split keyboard after I got won over my a coworker.

    2 votes

  19. Comment on Is anyone watching Widows Bay? (Apple TV) in ~tv

    kaffo
    Link Parent
    I was very surprised myself. It's extremely difficult to get the tone right when you're mixing horror and comedy yet they nail it. There's back to back scenes where they have some actually good...

    I was very surprised myself. It's extremely difficult to get the tone right when you're mixing horror and comedy yet they nail it.
    There's back to back scenes where they have some actually good horror (with some fun references thrown in too!) with an actually good comedy moment and SOMEHOW the comedy doesn't take me out the horror. It's not even a speedbump.
    Really excellent writing and direction. If you'd asked me before I'd have said that it wouldn't be possible to mix the two genres so well, especially as so many have tried and usually end up as pure parody.

    4 votes

  20. Comment on Reminder to myself that my employer does not give a shit about me in ~life

    kaffo
    Link
    Unfortunately it's the world we live in if you work for any business that has more than like 1000 employees. I honestly find it really difficult to not "be myself" at work, because I know if I'm...

    Unfortunately it's the world we live in if you work for any business that has more than like 1000 employees.

    I honestly find it really difficult to not "be myself" at work, because I know if I'm just a genuine, cool dude it's going to come back and bite me in the ass.
    My recent-ish confirmation that I'm doing the right thing was when my co-worker, who I genuinely wanted to be friends with because he is a really nice guy and we get on really well but I kept him at solid acquaintance, became my manager.

    The modern office workplace is fucking brutal and cut throat. I hate it. Is it better than doing a "real job"? Who knows!

    12 votes