atoxje's recent activity

  1. Comment on University at forty in ~talk

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    That’s nice to hear, thanks! That is something I wonder about: do you feel weird being older in that setting?

    That’s nice to hear, thanks! That is something I wonder about: do you feel weird being older in that setting?

  2. University at forty

    ~talk Ask (advice)
    (This post turned out longer than I planned. TLDR: I’m thinking about going to university at forty and I’m wondering if anyone has any experience with this and would like to share those?) For...

    (This post turned out longer than I planned. TLDR: I’m thinking about going to university at forty and I’m wondering if anyone has any experience with this and would like to share those?)

    For those of you who would like to know more background:

    I grew up in a dangerous household which is why I moved out from my mom’s house at seventeen and immediately started working. I worked as a freelancer and started some small businesses, mostly in advertising and technology.

    About ten years ago (at 30yo) I felt both advertising and technology were not the places I wanted to work in. These were just the places that were accessible for me at the time in order to make a living and survive. But when the survival mode subsided, I found they didn’t fulfil me personally.

    I had a daughter on the way and wanted to find a way to make more of a positive impact on the world. Because I had no idea how, I started interviewing people who I looked up to. People who are very aware of the issues that the world faces but are not paralysed by it. People who try to fix the biggest issues of our time.

    Very unexpectedly, those interviews became a big hit. The response was so overwhelming, that it has now been my full time job for ten years. I’ve interviewed 150 beautiful people, published two books in the process and I’m working on the third.

    In the past 6 months the financial stress of running this whole thing has lowered dramatically and we have found people who are helping us with the whole practical side of running this thing/interview series/podcast/art project/… (I don’t know what to call it). Which made me think about what’s next.

    When I was seventeen, all my friends were at university. I loved having them over and talk about what they learned. At the time, I hoped my business would become so successful I would be able to afford private tutoring in everything that peaks my curiosity. That didn’t happen :).

    The interviewing I do sometimes feel like private tutoring. I have learned an immense amount from these people. Albeit not really in a structured manner.

    On of my favorite YouTubers had similar issues growing up as me, and recently posted a video where he announced he was going to college. It made me think about my own life. Maybe I don’t have to stay ‘a dropout’/“selfmade” (I disagree with that term but many people call me by it anyway).

    My life is safe enough now to go to university. I can afford it, and I believe getting a formal education would very much challenge me, enrich my work and my writing and could maybe even be fun?

    This is a long winded way of asking if anyone here has any experience in going to university at a later age. As I stated in the title, I am almost forty, and as much as this idea excites me, it also scares me and some relevant stories would maybe help in knowing what to expect.

    Thanks for reading this far and sharing whatever wisdom you’re willing to share.

    4 votes

  3. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    Roguelike dice builders sound interesting! Could you share some suggestions?

    Roguelike dice builders sound interesting! Could you share some suggestions?

    1 vote

  4. Comment on What video games would you say have the best stories? Feel free to suggest more than one. in ~games

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    Glad to see yakuza mentioned here. These are absolutely some of the more nuanced and layered games I have ever played. How the topic of masculinity is handled within these games, I find hard to...

    Glad to see yakuza mentioned here. These are absolutely some of the more nuanced and layered games I have ever played. How the topic of masculinity is handled within these games, I find hard to find another piece of art in another medium that does this so well.

    3 votes

  5. Comment on Games: Your personal year in review for 2025 in ~games

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    Thank you for suggestief final profit. I’m playing the demo now and having fun. It’s a special game with a lot of character. Eager to find out how the story will evolve.

    Thank you for suggestief final profit. I’m playing the demo now and having fun. It’s a special game with a lot of character. Eager to find out how the story will evolve.

    1 vote

  6. Comment on What are your favorite simple pleasures? in ~talk

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    You know that’s really nice to read actually. Thanks a lot for sharing. You remind me how much it helps to just talk to people who know what I’m going through when writing. Can you specify how...

    You know that’s really nice to read actually. Thanks a lot for sharing. You remind me how much it helps to just talk to people who know what I’m going through when writing.

    Can you specify how long you commit yourself to writing daily?

    2 votes

  7. Comment on What are your favorite simple pleasures? in ~talk

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    How did you manage that last one? Asking for a friend. ^^

    How did you manage that last one? Asking for a friend. ^^

    4 votes

  8. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    atoxje
    Link
    Story of seasons: grand bazaar! So basically you’re a farmer. But but but: you also sell the stuff you produced in the market every week. And that’s such a smart move. I was having a long...

    Story of seasons: grand bazaar!

    So basically you’re a farmer. But but but: you also sell the stuff you produced in the market every week. And that’s such a smart move. I was having a long conversations with a farmer the other week, and she shared how fulfilling it was to be at different markets every week with her wares. The farming alone becomes very lonely, she said. And bult listening to what her customers think about her food and want form her, she gives her work at the farm more meaning. It’s also an economic necessity, she shared. It’s the only way for a small scale biologic farm to survive, is to sell directly to customers.

    When I told her about story of seasons grand bazaar, she was very excited and recognized a lot about her work. So it’s a farmer approved farming game!

    1 vote

  9. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    Oh how I loved the planet crafter! All the more once I found out it's actually made by 2 (I think French) brothers. I agree with your point about it almost being an idle clicker kind of game. But...

    Oh how I loved the planet crafter! All the more once I found out it's actually made by 2 (I think French) brothers. I agree with your point about it almost being an idle clicker kind of game. But I also felt a lot of love poured into it by the devs. This was not some "lets try to squeeze as much money out of as few dev hours as possible" scheme. I felt the devs punched above their weight with this one, and that's shown in some of the jank in game. Too bad the DLC didnt get good reviews, otherwise I definitely would play that one too.

  10. Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health

    atoxje
    Link
    I don’t know who it was, but I just want to thank the person who mentioned MacroFactor in this thread a few weeks ago. I’ve been using the app and it really helps me understand what an appropriate...

    I don’t know who it was, but I just want to thank the person who mentioned MacroFactor in this thread a few weeks ago. I’ve been using the app and it really helps me understand what an appropriate diet is for my body & activity level. And as a bonus: I got to know all kinds of cool lingo like recomp and calorie expenditure and trend weight. ^^

    1 vote

  11. Comment on Fitness Weekly Discussion in ~health

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    I’ve been using Runna to generate my training plans, just finished my first 8 week program, and it really helped me to build up my running again in a structured way.

    I’ve been using Runna to generate my training plans, just finished my first 8 week program, and it really helped me to build up my running again in a structured way.

    2 votes

  12. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    Thank you for the write up of your favorite mods. Made me google and discover that, contrary to what I believed, I can effectively mod stardew valley on my steam deck. I’m gonna try it out and use...

    Thank you for the write up of your favorite mods. Made me google and discover that, contrary to what I believed, I can effectively mod stardew valley on my steam deck. I’m gonna try it out and use your list as a starting point.

    2 votes

  13. Comment on Does anyone have a digg invite code I can get ? in ~tech

  14. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    Hm iracing doesn’t seem to be available on PlayStation. From your experience and the other ones you mentioned, which ones come closest to the realness of iracing?

    Hm iracing doesn’t seem to be available on PlayStation. From your experience and the other ones you mentioned, which ones come closest to the realness of iracing?

  15. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    Me too! ^^ I definitely will share my questions if they come up. For now we’re still toying around with different racing games and copiloting each other’s races. Ok purchase I wondered if it would...

    Me too! ^^ I definitely will share my questions if they come up. For now we’re still toying around with different racing games and copiloting each other’s races. Ok purchase I wondered if it would be worth the money, a few days later and I’m wondering why I waited so long to order.

    Oh, I wonder: what games do you play mostly?

  16. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    I definitely will. Thanks for taking the time to reply!

    I definitely will. Thanks for taking the time to reply!

    1 vote

  17. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    atoxje
    Link
    So I took my 8yo daughter out karting for the first time last week. That was such an emotional experience (for me, she just had a blast) watching her carefully feeling out the track in her first...

    So I took my 8yo daughter out karting for the first time last week. That was such an emotional experience (for me, she just had a blast) watching her carefully feeling out the track in her first lap and then bravely building speed through every consecutive one. Finally halving her first lap time, without ever crashing out. (Apparently the not crashing out thing is rare with kids, the track operators told me. More reasons to be proud!)

    But the most awesome thing for me was to see how much she enjoyed it. She had a smile that was so unfiltered after racing, it reminded me of the first time she walked off the basketball court, so proud of herself. Tired but fulfilled.

    So I got into a little wormhole about sim racing, and long story short: now our family has been playing the F1 24 game for the past few days. It’s surprisingly good! With loads of difficulty modifiers and very cool integration of the ‘real’ F1 world, like commentators, race engineer feedback, pit crew reactions, … The overall structure of the game is confusing with just loads and loads of different ways to play the game, but I guess that is just the downside of wanting to make a game for every level of racer.

    If you want to play with a child, I’d recommend activating the ‘steering assistance’ and play some time trials or start a Grand Prix with 3 long practice sessions to activated. Those modes are most forgiving.

    We’ve been playing with controller until now and tomorrow we’re picking up a race wheel and racing seat. Very much looking forward to that one.

    When I was researching the wormhole, the sim racing community came across as such a welcoming place. When people are asking tips for their young ones, it felt like many members of the community were so happy that another one was about to join their ranks. I’ve seen a lot of toxicity in gaming, so it was heartwarming to be reminded of this facet of gaming. (Something this weekly thread never fails do to for me as well. Thank you for that.)

    12 votes

  18. Comment on Guilt and video games in ~health.mental

    atoxje
    Link
    Sounds like you already know you’re okay. That’s a hard thing to always believe in so I would say don’t beat yourself up for doubting yourself sometimes. I saw a video from a therapist on...
    • Exemplary

    Sounds like you already know you’re okay. That’s a hard thing to always believe in so I would say don’t beat yourself up for doubting yourself sometimes.

    I saw a video from a therapist on intrusive thoughts. And she used the bus metaphor to suggest a way of dealing with those thoughts. It boiled down to: notice your thoughts (the passengers), don’t argue with them, don’t try to get them off your bus, but don’t follow their instructions either. Just notice them, and realize you are the bus driver. Your rational mind is deciding where you’re driving to. Sometimes, some gaming.

    It helped me a little. (Also because she used a toy bus to illustrate her metaphor and halfway through the video it suddenly started honking because she inadvertently pressed a button or something. The whole scene was so endearing I couldn’t help but try her approach.)

    37 votes

  19. Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games

    atoxje
    Link Parent
    Hey, I also started and abondened Banishers this week. I like the fluid movement and I guess I liked the story. I might come back to it later. It was just so... dark and I wanted to playing...

    Hey, I also started and abondened Banishers this week. I like the fluid movement and I guess I liked the story. I might come back to it later. It was just so... dark and I wanted to playing something a little lighter. (Bright action rpgs are hard to find!)

    Im curious, what is the contradictory note you're referring to? (I have a hunch, but I want to know what it was for you.)

  20. Comment on [Rant? Vent? Musing?] I've become a surprisingly judgemental semi-sober person in ~life

    atoxje
    Link
    Not rambly, very coherent. I sobered up too about 5 years ago (mostly drinking, not even heavy), and it still feels like I unlocked some kind of superpower. I have so much more time to do what I...

    Not rambly, very coherent. I sobered up too about 5 years ago (mostly drinking, not even heavy), and it still feels like I unlocked some kind of superpower. I have so much more time to do what I want, issues I encounter feel much more manageable and proportioned. And, above all, I can now clearly detect people that spell trouble from miles away and can steer clear from them without/before it becoming an issue.

    Superpower!

    I can’t talk about it too much with people that still drink. That’s fine. I notice however how they all drink a lot less when hanging out with me, and that feels really kind. Kind towards me, but also kind for themselves.

    Wish you all the best!

    7 votes