fnulare's recent activity
-
Comment on In noisy surroundings, your techniques to learn to center attention and ignore distraction? in ~life
-
Comment on In noisy surroundings, your techniques to learn to center attention and ignore distraction? in ~life
fnulare Link ParentYou're welcome. I think a difference is that I'm in an adjacent room expected to entertain myself (but not too deeply) but at the same time being available and attentive, while I get the feeling...Sounds to me like you know more or less exactly the type of situation I am trying to learn to navigate. Your response is very useful to me. Thanks.
You're welcome. I think a difference is that I'm in an adjacent room expected to entertain myself (but not too deeply) but at the same time being available and attentive, while I get the feeling that you are with "your" person in the same room where there are also others and there is a lot going on.
So, while we might have very similar job descriptions, our jobs seem quite different (within the descriptions ofc).
Anyhoooo....
[...] there definitely is a way to push around air to make a fuzzy noise that somewhat blocks other noises out.
Do you mean this in a literal sense (like for instance creating internal head sound by moving the jaw/tongue) or is it a matter of imagining to be moving air around, to de-focus?
Literal. By moving, tensing up the jaw, tounge, different face muscles and even doing the "push air out your ears to alleviate the pressure difference by holding your nose" (but by holding the nose with nose-muscles rather than by hand).
[...] the combined state of boredom and alertness [...]
This is it! And doing it without losing your mind. One thing you can do is also to teach yourself to enjoy thinking and daydreaming a little. Like you can think about fun/interesting things on purpose, without any input.
Another note on the job (if it's the same job as mine!): in my opinion it is important to think about responsibility and capability in this job. We are hired to compensate/help a person who needs it but we must not take over responsibilities or capabilities just because we do it faster or it's easier or they don't feel like it. There are lots of things I don't feel like doing but I do them anyway. Our job is to do only what they can't do (physically, psychologically or mentally).
-
Comment on In noisy surroundings, your techniques to learn to center attention and ignore distraction? in ~life
fnulare LinkWhat an interesting phenomenon to think about, and it seems to become more and more important. I'm sure there are tricks of the trade, but my situation is almost reversed since I work with one...What an interesting phenomenon to think about, and it seems to become more and more important.
I'm sure there are tricks of the trade, but my situation is almost reversed since I work with one person almost exclusively in their home and they live alone-alone, and use headphones, so for me the problem is staying awake and keeping myself occupied while still alert to their needs. (I'm just saying this to bond and to give you an opportunity to ask about the trade if you want to.)
Anyway... Off to the interesting part: filtering impressions.
I'm quite sensitive to smell, sound and moving visuals. As in I easily get headaches from perfumes, get crazy from sounds and can't not watch moving things (both AFS — yes I'm coining it here and now: "Away From Screen" — and on screen)...
I've taught myself to discretely block my nose inside and breath calmly through my mouth while out and about. This helps with smells but it also keeps me busy and focused so it helps a little with other senses too.
As for vision I would offer the idea to teach yourself to focus your sight at different distances from yourself without landing somewhere, just in the air. So start by focusing on an object and while keeping it in sight make it more and less blurry on purpose.
Sound is my weakest point, and is often the one that has to stay the most on to do my job (for you it might be sight), but I've been experimenting since reading your post and while writing this reply with different things and there seems to be reasonable to learn to unfocus my hearing to and there definitely is a way to push around air to make a fuzzy noise that somewhat blocks other noises out.
Overall I recommend learning to do physical things that aren't very noticeable: finger tapping, muscle clenching, light stretching, adjusting your posture, etc.
Ok, I'll say something about the job too. Depending on the situation you might be able to take up some light knitting, colouring books, etc... This would keep you occupied and make you relatable to many people. But ofc you need to both want to show that part of you at work and also be able to do these things like a parent; ready to drop it at any time! Maybe that's my biggest recommendation: become a parent! ;)
-
Comment on What radicalized you? in ~talk
-
Comment on What radicalized you? in ~talk
fnulare (edited )LinkThe understanding that my mother didn't choose me. While she chose to become a parent she didnt decide to have exactly me as a child. This became the foundation for my parenting — that no matter...The understanding that my mother didn't choose me. While she chose to become a parent she didnt decide to have exactly me as a child.
This became the foundation for my parenting — that no matter what I must take responsibility for bringing a person to this world — and my view on children in general: that they are just humans with a little less experience and sometimes worse fine motor skills than adults.
[Edit, adding:]
Also, I think I was radicalised in 3 other ways by boredom (sobriety from alcohol) and 2 specific subreddits (intermittent fasting and barefoot:ing)These 4 things are where I seem to confuse other people the most for going outside the box.
-
Comment on What radicalized you? in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentI don't understand what this refers to. (I'm 40+ and non-USA:er, so try to consider that when explaining, thx <3)I don't understand what this refers to.
(I'm 40+ and non-USA:er, so try to consider that when explaining, thx <3)
-
Comment on What are people using instead of VS Code? in ~comp
fnulare Link ParentI want to get into Emacs (because I use a custom org-mode app on my phone) but it is soooo ugly to me. Do you happen to have any recommendations or resources on making it look nicer (= like a...I want to get into Emacs (because I use a custom org-mode app on my phone) but it is soooo ugly to me.
Do you happen to have any recommendations or resources on making it look nicer (= like a "normal" gui app in X - that often isn't X anymore, but you know what I mean)?
-
Comment on Alternative news source recommendations in ~news
fnulare LinkMay I suggest 2-3 monthly or preferably quarterly magazines instead? The format forces a kind of slowness and for me it's been a nice way to forget to pick up my phone a little by having small...May I suggest 2-3 monthly or preferably quarterly magazines instead?
The format forces a kind of slowness and for me it's been a nice way to forget to pick up my phone a little by having small piles in the bathroom and in other suitable spots.
If you're so inclined you might even go straight to scientific journals in a subject that interests you.
Since everyone on the internet is an American FBI agent (or however the saying goes) and I assume you are too I won't recommend any from my part of the world and my interest's but I'm sure there must be magazines around to subscribe to.
-
Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentThank you, this looks like great fun! Unfortunately for me it looks like there isn't a good way to do this in my climate... Speculating it might work if you do it underground, like in a root...Thank you, this looks like great fun!
Unfortunately for me it looks like there isn't a good way to do this in my climate... Speculating it might work if you do it underground, like in a root cellar so it doesn't freeze, but then again that might be a bit excessive :)
-
Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentThank you, it is helpful to me to hear different stories and reasons so that I can help my friend sort things out for themselves.Thank you, it is helpful to me to hear different stories and reasons so that I can help my friend sort things out for themselves.
-
Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentWould you mind sharing a little bit about your motives for this. I have a friend who is thinking about going off theirs, mostly to see how it would be since they have taken them for really long...Would you mind sharing a little bit about your motives for this.
I have a friend who is thinking about going off theirs, mostly to see how it would be since they have taken them for really long and aren't really sure how they are underneath.
-
Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentNot to be the basher king of easy bashings of the open door that really didn't need a bashing, but it brings me joy that you have some sort of feelings around EDC and none whatsoever around...Not to be the basher king of easy bashings of the open door that really didn't need a bashing, but it brings me joy that you have some sort of feelings around EDC and none whatsoever around drones.
We are just different people with different kinds of issues.
Keep on being you and enjoy your things! <3
-
Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
-
Comment on I need to talk to someone with social mobility experience, and I'm out of ideas in ~health.mental
fnulare Link ParentI understand this discussion is in an USA context but I just want to remind you that most of the losers don't even have a 401 since they don't live in the USA, capitalism is global and the...I understand this discussion is in an USA context but I just want to remind you that most of the losers don't even have a 401 since they don't live in the USA, capitalism is global and the extraction of value too.
-
Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare Link ParentThank you for telling us. It's encouraging for me to read about someone understanding something about themselves. Makes me feel less alone and also hopeful.Thank you for telling us.
It's encouraging for me to read about someone understanding something about themselves. Makes me feel less alone and also hopeful.
-
Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
fnulare LinkI've been fighting off the last of a cold and been struggling with tooth ache. Finally on Friday morning I called the dentist and then spent all day waiting for my appointment. Unfortunately I...I've been fighting off the last of a cold and been struggling with tooth ache.
Finally on Friday morning I called the dentist and then spent all day waiting for my appointment.
Unfortunately I forgot to ask to keep the tooth for the tooth fairy (is there only one or are they more like a sub-species or -culture???) so I'm short 20SEK (which I heard from a friend is the going rate).
This weekend I'm working, so not doing much, but it allows me to put the final touches on eradicating whatever virus invited itself in.
I'm also finally restarting a book I lent from a friend, I like the writing style it reminds me of Douglas Addams style for the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series (which are my all time favourite books)
-
Comment on What did you do this week (and weekend)? in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentHonestly... Goals! (Sorry, wanted to add some encouragement and this phrase — showing not my but my kids age — popped out!) How did you find the first list to go through and select the three you...Honestly... Goals!
(Sorry, wanted to add some encouragement and this phrase — showing not my but my kids age — popped out!)
How did you find the first list to go through and select the three you did inquire to? Or did you just quack "psychotherapist [locality]"?
Are you looking for a specific kind of therapy or a specific therapist (I mean is the method or person most important?)
Would you mind sharing what kind of therapy you're looking for and your reasoning?
I recently got dumped by my therapist (for being too complex for their capabilities) and at the exit session I asked them about resources or methods they thought would be able useful for me. They did a good job with that so now I'm almost tingling with excitement to find a good therapist but I'll wait to see how my NP-assessment turns out before I start looking.
-
Comment on Good News Everyone! - your semi regular good news thread in ~talk
fnulare LinkUnionising works, even against the big-big corporations. It's also uplifting that they tried something new and it worked. The more different tactics we have experience with the more power we can gain.Unionising works, even against the big-big corporations.
It's also uplifting that they tried something new and it worked. The more different tactics we have experience with the more power we can gain.
-
Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare Link ParentI find myself thinking a lot about friendships. Or rather I realise I do some small things quite often that someone taught me and everytime I do the thing I think about that person. I think of...I find myself thinking a lot about friendships.
Or rather I realise I do some small things quite often that someone taught me and everytime I do the thing I think about that person. I think of them fondly, but I also wonder why we never really became friends.
One of them, I haven't talked with in years, that makes it slightly less heavy. The other one I still chase from time to time (and now is one of those periods, but instead of reaching out I hold off on reaching out, since I don't feel it's welcome but I still think about it several times a day).
I'm sad, but not sad enough to cry. Maybe I can't really grief since I somehow think we will become friends soon.
I got the tooth thing fixed yesterday (and it seems to have helped with the dizziness too): it was loose, and now it's gone! (There is a whisper of a tune playing in my head, but I don't know which one.)
-
Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (March 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare Link Parent2 > 0 I'm big on actually feeling the feelings, so well done in another shit situation!2 > 0
I'm big on actually feeling the feelings, so well done in another shit situation!
Hmmm, I thought of something just now...
I'm having lunch and someone was on the phone (using headphones, thankfully!) and it reminded me of this, to me there is something much more annoying about someone talking on the phone than 2 or more people having a conversation in the same room.
Feels related!