fnulare's recent activity
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (June 2026) in ~health.mental
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Comment on Tildes Survey #7: What is your gender identity? in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentI'm having a slow burning meltdown around my inability to use the current internet, so I'll ask you directly (since you offered to help): Do you have any trusted starting points for digging deeper...I'm having a slow burning meltdown around my inability to use the current internet, so I'll ask you directly (since you offered to help): Do you have any trusted starting points for digging deeper into these words and their meaning.
I am not merely interested in using inclusive language I also want to understand the nuances around the words (and other related ones) meaning in this context.
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Comment on As floods get worse, Britain tries a new solution: beavers in ~enviro
fnulare LinkWhen I dream of land, that dream involves making sure there are waterways and beavers on that land (and quite a bit of anxiety around the legality of implanting beavers and where to get them). I...When I dream of land, that dream involves making sure there are waterways and beavers on that land (and quite a bit of anxiety around the legality of implanting beavers and where to get them).
I love beavers <3 The anthropomorphic reasoning of the wood eating instinct that leaves a big tree half fallen over another tree not even close to water is aweinspiring!
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Comment on What are your personal crackpot conspiracy theories about the world right now? in ~talk
fnulare Link Parentnon-crackpot tinfoil hat content I've been talking to a friend about their problems at work, so maybe that's why, but this whole sub-thread reminds of a scene in the Charlie Chaplin film Modern...non-crackpot tinfoil hat content
I've been talking to a friend about their problems at work, so maybe that's why, but this whole sub-thread reminds of a scene in the Charlie Chaplin film Modern Times where he becomes an accidental leader.
I think that happens a lot too: many people just want to follow, do if someone is perceived as leading they become a leader and some people are quicker than others to both understand what's happening and capitalise on it.
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Comment on What are your personal crackpot conspiracy theories about the world right now? in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentI'd say they are pleasing in different ways... In English, with a Swedish accent: 54, 58, 60 feels like a number series, and looks round and comfy, like a nice rhyme for lazy summer days with...I'd say they are pleasing in different ways...
In English, with a Swedish accent:
- 54, 58, 60 feels like a number series, and looks round and comfy, like a nice rhyme for lazy summer days with
- 1-15, 1-67 is more of a mouthful (I'd say its the 7 that takes most of the blame) but has an efficient tone to it that I also like.
- 5-45, 8-60 is just weird to me, while I could go for:
- 5-45, 8, 6, 0 (either with Oh or Love but a absolutely not Zero), if it was a number to remember I'd go with:
- 5-45, 86, Love, but almost saying it like 80-6 so the beat is more on the "y" of 80 and not the "ix" of 6.
- the 115167 hasn't got any other real way to break it up except 1, 1, 5, 1, 6, 7 and that is too boring
For other languages and accents there are different things to take into consideration, obviously :)
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
fnulare Link ParentI spent all-ish day yesterday playing Rune Dice too. (I got the full version from steam, but I prefer to link elsewhere.) It's the first time in a long time I've picked up a game to play by...I spent all-ish day yesterday playing Rune Dice too. (I got the full version from steam, but I prefer to link elsewhere.)
It's the first time in a long time I've picked up a game to play by myself. Fun!
I like that in one way it feels like I have almost completed the game, but on the other hand I have only beaten one boss on hard mode and not even unlocked half the classes. I don't even feel I have the tiniest grasp on builds so I still stumble through every play. I'm trying to say that the game is fun, very good and the interplay between game systems and ease of play is very calibrated to me.
But I'm mostly writing here to brag about that I managed to buy myself a handheld computer and install SteamOS on it even though I feel that I no longer understand how to use the internet :) Yay me!
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Comment on There's a hundred illegal erections in the hills behind my parents' house in ~hobbies
fnulare LinkThis made me cry; happy, happy, hopeful tears. I'm on the bus to work with tears in my eyes. Thank you! I wouldn't worry too much about the "journalist", if this culture has survived Nazis &...This made me cry; happy, happy, hopeful tears.
I'm on the bus to work with tears in my eyes.
Thank you!
I wouldn't worry too much about the "journalist", if this culture has survived Nazis & Soviets it will have no problem with a neoliberal state and one journalist on a crusade.
I think, but am probably wrong (as happens quite often when I guesstimate on social issues) that part of the strength of the culture is it's resistance.
Like skaters, urban explorers, graffiti vandals, punks, etc a part of what makes the culture strong is resisting to comply with society at large.
Camps will "just" move... the forests are too beautiful to not stay in, the campfires are too mesmerising to not make, the songs are too familiar to be forgotten and the rum and other drugs are necessary to cope and enhance life with (of so it seems anyway!).
Or maybe I have my rose tinted glasses on?
In any case: thank you for this, it truly made my day and I will treasure this story and the knowledge about this culture for as long as I live (or at least remember it)!
The next couple of months will be wonderful, looking for spots around my woods to set up camps, thank you, thank you, thank you!
(If there is anything I can do to aid in the resistance I'm happy to lend a hand, but I suspect that drawing international attention to it might just make matters worse... (but again, what do I know?))
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Comment on Tildes Survey #6: Vote for the next four surveys we do! (Results) in ~talk
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Comment on Tildes Survey #6: Vote for the next four surveys we do! (Results) in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentOoh! I like that, having a middle option for the empty roll (or maybe a bunch of middle answers for different ways to not use toilet paper like left hand, right hand, cloth, separate bide, built...Ooh! I like that, having a middle option for the empty roll (or maybe a bunch of middle answers for different ways to not use toilet paper like left hand, right hand, cloth, separate bide, built in water jet, etc?)
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Comment on Tildes Survey #6: Vote for the next four surveys we do! (Results) in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentMmm, I'm just saying that actually having to force yourself to answer something else than Is in general more fun, but then again the particular I that is me doesn't really care since I won't...Mmm, I'm just saying that actually having to force yourself to answer something else than
*shrug* idc
Is in general more fun, but then again the particular I that is me doesn't really care since I won't answer any surveys anyway
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Comment on Tildes Survey #6: Vote for the next four surveys we do! (Results) in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentEven though I hate it, I think it might be more in the spirit of these particular surveys to have an even amount of options so we can't hide behind a neutral centre.Even though I hate it, I think it might be more in the spirit of these particular surveys to have an even amount of options so we can't hide behind a neutral centre.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (May 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare Link ParentOh well, I offer a "fuck you, universe" in solidarity then. (Joke, possibly in bad taste, I haven't had coffee yet:) And I hope you have someone in your life that sleeps a minimum of 10h/night so...Oh well, I offer a "fuck you, universe" in solidarity then.
(Joke, possibly in bad taste, I haven't had coffee yet:) And I hope you have someone in your life that sleeps a minimum of 10h/night so you can frustrate each other endlessly with jealousy and also give each other endless support on the sleep spectrum!
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (May 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare Link ParentContinuing my blog... Apparently I have misunderstood the process. Ugh! I'm so disappointed and tired. I have to wait more, if I would have known it would be OK, but since I thought I would know...One week later I will meet a psychiatrist that will give me 0-2 diagnoses based on that assessment.
Continuing my blog...
Apparently I have misunderstood the process.
Ugh! I'm so disappointed and tired.
I have to wait more, if I would have known it would be OK, but since I thought I would know by now (whatever that means) I'm just so disappointed.
Hopefully I will get my results in a month or at most two, we'll see.
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Comment on Signal, NordVPN, Proton to leave Canada over C-22 in ~society
fnulare Link ParentNo. This is not how society works. I get that you are trying to make a cute point. But this is not it.only person who gets to punish my wife is me
No. This is not how society works. I get that you are trying to make a cute point. But this is not it.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (May 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare Link ParentFuck! That's rough! I assume you have all the info and have gotten all the advice so I won't say anything. If you want to untangle your thoughts about it in public to see if you forgot something...Fuck! That's rough!
I assume you have all the info and have gotten all the advice so I won't say anything.
If you want to untangle your thoughts about it in public to see if you forgot something I, and I'm sure others, are here to bounce off off.
Anyhow: hug or equivalent, sleep deprivation is no small thing
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (May 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare Link ParentThere is something about the concept of spending time with here that I find very appealing. It sounds correct but also very difficult to navigate since time & time management is quite strange and...There is something about the concept of spending time with here that I find very appealing.
It sounds correct but also very difficult to navigate since time & time management is quite strange and difficult for me (maybe that's why it is appealing!?).
When it comes to having crushes I can see it, and I recognise something about it (although I never managed to put it as clearly), thank you <3
I think I was more asking about changing sexist (etc) automatic thinking/acting that I don't agree with myself but still express. Maybe it's the same path to changing as crushes?
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Comment on What has changed as you've gotten older? in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentThis reads like a great start of some kind of novel. Maybe a grimy detective story in the spirit of Tracer Bullet? Or some kind of dystopian world building or self imposed hermit experience or...This reads like a great start of some kind of novel.
Maybe a grimy detective story in the spirit of Tracer Bullet?
Or some kind of dystopian world building or self imposed hermit experience or something.
Anyway: if nothing else, you have a way with words!
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Comment on What has changed as you've gotten older? in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentFantastic example and naming a phenomenon, thx! Slightly tangential: My boss is like this but reversed?... He doesn't think words mean anything anymore and must show images to feel like he has...Fantastic example and naming a phenomenon, thx!
Slightly tangential: My boss is like this but reversed?... He doesn't think words mean anything anymore and must show images to feel like he has conveyed information.
(I understand it has to do with employing people who aren't fluent in the same language as him, but I still am!)
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Comment on Tildes Survey #5: Pineapple on pizza? (Results) in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentMine is: feta, pineapple, mushrooms & onions. I like the salt, sweet, meaty and combinatory of the ingredients. (I'm not into spicy foods, like at all!)Mine is: feta, pineapple, mushrooms & onions.
I like the salt, sweet, meaty and combinatory of the ingredients.
(I'm not into spicy foods, like at all!)
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Comment on Tildes Survey #5: Pineapple on pizza? (Results) in ~talk
fnulare Link ParentI think you would like grilled watermelon (you can add a little feta on the first side while the second is grilling). (Not related to the topic of pizza topping, just as something good)I think you would like grilled watermelon (you can add a little feta on the first side while the second is grilling).
(Not related to the topic of pizza topping, just as something good)
I don't know... Here are some things that I'm thinking about a lot lately.
The other day a friend told me to not come and support them, as we had planned, but rather to stay home and rest from social exhaustion (I said that it was difficult getting started and that I felt like I had a hangover, without drinking)
This is a big thing for me, and our relationship, consciously letting them take care and support me.
It seems to me that I'm doing some kind of realignment within myself about myself.
For the last decade I've been working with a metaphor of falling down a hole from time to time and life being about clawing my way back up to the surface level and then falling back in... Repeat, again and again.
What I've been doing is trying to make the bottom of the hole more stable, and even trying to raise it so the climb back up isn't as hard and I don't have to also fear to fall deeper.
This has worked well.
What I haven't noticed is that I've also made the hole wider and comfier (in a good way, I think!) and I'm starting to really accept the idea that I can have friends over too.
It is not easy to value myself like it's reasonable to not struggle alone, like I've been pretty good with letting friends know I'm in the hole, but thanks to my friends excellent judgement call I see that I'll be able to invite friends over to just sit with me or help me climb back up.
There is also something going on around what I shall become when I grow up and how to live a life that is shifting, this comes mostly from another friend that is very good at articulating how ambition in many ways is pointless too and that in the end it doesn't really matter what you do with your life as long as you are somewhat content and pleased yourself.
The shift is that I not only can see the points and understand the reasoning, etc, but now I can imagine how it feels in the body having these things as integral parts of myself.
My NP-assessment is chugging along, today the psychologist is going to interview the friend I have that has known me the longest. I'm nervous, and worry that they will manage to screw up in some way. This is about my need of control not them. I make small scenarios and tell myself stories... The winning contribution is that my friend will start hitting on the psychologist!
Besides that there shouldn't be much more to do and I hope I get my report, or whatever, before the psychologist goes on vacation, that would be an enormous relief.
One thing that has come up lately and that is taking up a lot of space is how I see myself in my body and how I often am surprised by my actual bodies shape, size, colour, hairyness, feel to touch, length, capabilities, etc
It feels like it has something to do with a weak sense of self and that I'm very impressionable or like I see myself from the outside but what I see myself as has more to do with other things I've seen rather than my actual self. As an example when I'm swimming in a lake, feeling myself I dive down a bit and break the surface it feels like I'm a stunning woman with long hair because that's the dominant imagery I have of that.
Like I often don't recognise myself in the mirror, or today I felt like a snazzy show dancer when I was out walking, or I can completely misjudge how long I am so I bang my head into the wall instead of landing comfortably on the pillow, or reach for things that are well within my reach because that's how you do.
I don't know... If anyone has anything to say or relate about this I would be very grateful. I feel very weird and alone in this (not that I have really tried to talk about it with anyone!), maybe this is normal, or it happens to you to sometimes?
I'm planning to go on a small trip to look at a property I would potentially like to buy. It's exciting! I will most likely not buy this one, but I have to start looking if I ever want to buy myself a little bit of land and not only having a dream about it!
It seems like I'm in the mood for being intimate with someone again, it is not easy and I'm not very good at meeting new people and even worse at progressing it towards a physical relationship. We'll see. It is still nice to think about.
That's some of it!