fnulare's recent activity
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (November 2026) in ~health.mental
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Comment on What's your favorite action scene? in ~talk
fnulare LinkYou are all wrong. There is a scene in Hard Target where Jean Claude Van Damme round kicks 2 or 3 people with his mullet. That is the only action scene that matters.You are all wrong.
There is a scene in Hard Target where Jean Claude Van Damme round kicks 2 or 3 people with his mullet.
That is the only action scene that matters.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (November 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare LinkI'm still quite sad and feeling more and more depressed. Most things feel quite pointless including posting here. I'm posting anyway so that it's done and I have an anchor to post more at.I'm still quite sad and feeling more and more depressed.
Most things feel quite pointless including posting here.
I'm posting anyway so that it's done and I have an anchor to post more at.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (November 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare Link ParentThis was lovely, thank you for sharing. You did really well (not that you asked)! I admire your way of describing the tentative decision by comparing it to the situation at a bar - I can see it...This was lovely, thank you for sharing.
You did really well (not that you asked)!
I admire your way of describing the tentative decision by comparing it to the situation at a bar - I can see it very clearly.
That boy, his family and the rest of the world is lucky to have you. Thank you <3
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Comment on Halloween night! in ~talk
fnulare LinkI live in a kind of collective apartment building in Sweden where Halloween is a fairly new tradition but where there is an old tradition around Easter for kids to dress up as witches hand out...I live in a kind of collective apartment building in Sweden where Halloween is a fairly new tradition but where there is an old tradition around Easter for kids to dress up as witches hand out handmade cards in exchange for candy.
I think the Easter tradition makes it hard for kids around here to realise that tricking is an option. Very disappointing for me since I think that is the most valuable part of Halloween: to learn to negotiate the level of tricking you can do with/to different people in your own neighbourhood.
Anyway, this year (as many others) I wrote to the house that I expect guardians to talk to their young about tricking, I even included a list of easy beginner tricks.
I had prepped myself a little too by making my hall red, wearing only black clothes and speaker set up to play crashing sounds (so it would sound like they made me topple half my things to get the door). My line was to be: "Oh, yes please, I'll have some candy, what do you have?", but alas noone came to knock on my door!
I'm dissapointed!!
I still had a good evening: eating well and watching some esports I enjoy watching
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (October 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare Link ParentOne final update for October... I'm at my favourite spot right now, by the lake in the sun on 'my' stone with some coffee (a little bit of rum, not sure about this) and lots of reading material....One final update for October...
I'm at my favourite spot right now, by the lake in the sun on 'my' stone with some coffee (a little bit of rum, not sure about this) and lots of reading material.
I've dived into the water a couple of times, just floating through the dive and back up in the spot I've been cleaning from slippery algae this past summer.
The water is nice, around 8°C, but I'm here alone so being very safe about it.
I'm proud of myself for being able to get here today, I've been quite paralysed lately.
The sun is already touching the trees on the other side of the lake, autumn is really here, winter is really approaching.
I'm feeling strong right now, but also scared, curious, frustrated and sad...
A friend asked my to apply for a job at his job. I did, and they seem happy to have me (not only because they are desperate for ppl!) but then there is the question about pay.
They offered me a substantial decrease in pay compared to my current job. I won't accept their offer. I counter offered, still a bit lower than my current salary but there are other benefits to this job.
In the end I don't think I will accept anyway but it does feel good to manage to be offered a new job, it is not something that I would expect to happen to me.
I have been to the first (of four) "lectures" about autism and the support available at the habilitation-place (like rehabilitation but with the "re" since there is no cure just a fact of life), it is strange.
One of my closest friends was with me, as a relative. That felt good.
And the day before I had another close friend read the "report" on my autism assessment and we talked a lot about how I function.
I am slowly accepting the diagnosis and preparing myself to do some work around it, we'll see.
Tomorrow is Halloween. I've come up with a canned response when I'm asked "trick or treat?". I will ask what treats they have to offer and if they aren't good I'll take a trick instead.
(Halloween is a fairly newly imported thing here so there isn't much practice tricking, mostly just kids asking for candy).
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Comment on Tildes exclusive: the Ethoscore Project in ~creative
fnulare Link ParentHonestly, I never figured those out... I just wing their usage. Would you mind explaining them again and include why I was wrong to say ethics can't be neutral while it's morals that can't?Honestly, I never figured those out... I just wing their usage.
Would you mind explaining them again and include why I was wrong to say ethics can't be neutral while it's morals that can't?
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Comment on How do you handle being around other people? in ~life
fnulare Link ParentDo you have any particular books or other sources for your yoga practice? I'm interested in specifics!Do you have any particular books or other sources for your yoga practice?
I'm interested in specifics!
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Comment on Tildes exclusive: the Ethoscore Project in ~creative
fnulare Link ParentI don't think I managed to explain what I meant, I will try again... This is not what I meant (although I'm all in favour of granularity down the line). What I was trying to say was: I assume you...I don't think I managed to explain what I meant, I will try again...
And it's an interesting idea to let users determine how to weight different factors on a super granular level.
This is not what I meant (although I'm all in favour of granularity down the line).
What I was trying to say was: I assume you use some metrics to evaluate the ethics of the companies [0].
You then combine these metrics into an overall score (regardless of if you decide to show it as a number, smiley or not at all!)
This total is currently based on how you, personally, value the different metrics in relation to each other.
I, and every other user, will value these metrics differently from you and each other.
I "just" want to be able to put in my weights on the current metrics, that is all.
For me, it would be interesting to be able to read up on the metrics and your method of evaluating the companies, that would also be a nice way to drill into the data.
I've been thinking about this project a bit and I think I don't really understand how you see it being used as a consumer or contributor.
[0] I scream a little inside when typing this out. So adding a little reminder here for myself and whoever needs it: companies can not have ethics because companies are not persons. Only living creatures can have ethics. People can decide to be ethical at work, but that doesn't make the company ethical.
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Comment on How do you handle being around other people? in ~life
fnulare Link ParentWell, as we figured out in a previous topic, small talk can be almost anything, personally I like talking about raisins :)Well, as we figured out in a previous topic, small talk can be almost anything, personally I like talking about raisins :)
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Comment on How do you handle being around other people? in ~life
fnulare Link ParentI'm including @chundissimo & @imperator too Would you mind sharing your exact breathing techniques and elaborate on the effect? I've been practising box breathing on and off for a couple of years...I'm including @chundissimo & @imperator too
Would you mind sharing your exact breathing techniques and elaborate on the effect?
I've been practising box breathing on and off for a couple of years and I'm able to use it fairly consistently to calm myself down even among people. I find it works well enough, but I'm also curious to learn more.
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Comment on How do you handle being around other people? in ~life
fnulare Link ParentI feel this! I'm trying to use the recent cultural import of Halloween for people in my neighbourhood to explore social friction and raising children in "the village", so far I've failed miserably...said that being occasionally annoyed is the cost of having a real community.
I feel this! I'm trying to use the recent cultural import of Halloween for people in my neighbourhood to explore social friction and raising children in "the village", so far I've failed miserably where people seem to lean into less social interactions rather than more. Oh well :)
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Comment on Tildes exclusive: the Ethoscore Project in ~creative
fnulare Link ParentI'm assuming there are X metrics that you intend to track. Each one can get a score of 0-100 and then you use that average to present a total score. I would like to get a default list based on my...It seems to me (again: 10min!) that there is no way for me to decide what ethical values I value or what points I would like to appoint for different things
How would you want to be able to do that? Is creating your own lists unappealing? I might not understand what you mean here.
I'm assuming there are X metrics that you intend to track. Each one can get a score of 0-100 and then you use that average to present a total score.
I would like to get a default list based on my own weights.
Let's say you track:
A) use fossil oil products
B) use of animal products
C) use of mined products
D) profit usage
E) countries that the company operates in
F) use of LLMs
G) reparabilityFor some consumers all of these are equally important, but for others they are not.
Being able to assign my own weights to these parameters/variables would make the project vastly more useful for me.
If I'm going to try to do an ethical choice for my consumption I would want to use my ethics rather than yours.
The goal is for the company descriptions, scores, impacts and tags to be as neutral as possible. Did it feel like that's not the case? If so I'd love details about what made it feel that way.
Ethics are by definition not neutral. You will have to pick one of those.
I would like to have more data on the economic and company-size side of things
Whenever the data's available, company profile pages show revenue, profit and asset numbers. Employee numbers too. What kind of economic and size metrics would you like to see?
I don't know really... It just feels weird to me that a company like Unilever can score this high... Maybe country/ies of production, country/ies where they sell to consumers, country/ies from where they source their raw materials, policies around distribution of profits, wage structure, policies around sub contractors.
But I really don't know, I just hate capitalism :)
Thanks for taking the time to look at it and post!
You're wolcome, I do enjoy picking apart others work, so thanks for posting :)
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Comment on Tildes exclusive: the Ethoscore Project in ~creative
fnulare LinkBesides the obvious USA focus based on my 10-15 min visit, I don't think I would use this. It seems to me (again: 10min!) that there is no way for me to decide what ethical values I value or what...Besides the obvious USA focus based on my 10-15 min visit, I don't think I would use this.
It seems to me (again: 10min!) that there is no way for me to decide what ethical values I value or what points I would like to appoint for different things, so I just don't think I'm the intended audience.
If I'm going to try to do an ethical choice for my consumption I would want to use my ethics rather than yours. (But you know: "there is no ethical consumption under capitalism", and all that!)
For me to even consider using this I would like to have more data on the economic and company-size side of things.
I understand these are early days, and it is fantastically fine to not take me into consideration :)
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Comment on Non-queer men of Tildes: PLEASE consider before commenting on ~life.women and ~lgbt without careful consideration. We are losing members over this issue. in ~tildes
fnulare Link ParentMaybe, but I feel like I'm having trouble identifying good sources because I already have a fairly fleshed out image of the topic at hand. But the above paragraph is also self-referential so there...You are having trouble identifying good sources because you don't know anything about whatever topic at hand.
Maybe, but I feel like I'm having trouble identifying good sources because I already have a fairly fleshed out image of the topic at hand.
But the above paragraph is also self-referential so there is that ;)
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Comment on #YesAllMen #NotAllMen #MaybeSomeMen How to be better? in ~life.men
fnulare Link ParentI dream of a world where (the equivalent of) elementary school is just: reading, writing, a little math, physical activities and finally social skills & emotional intelligence.Personally, I think the solution is teaching emotional intelligence. Teaching people to understand their emotions, where they come from, and how to regulate them.
I dream of a world where (the equivalent of) elementary school is just: reading, writing, a little math, physical activities and finally social skills & emotional intelligence.
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Comment on Non-queer men of Tildes: PLEASE consider before commenting on ~life.women and ~lgbt without careful consideration. We are losing members over this issue. in ~tildes
fnulare Link ParentWhile I wish I did this, I always seem to get stuck on trying to figure out what would be a good source. I do struggle a lot with "analysis paralysis" in most areas of my life, and this is no...The way I've been trying to solve this is asking myself, 'I have a real question about something I don't understand. If I ask someone in a particularly exhausted minority group, that might add to their fatigue and frustration. Can I find the answer in a book, in a journal article, or from a published article from a member of that community?'
While I wish I did this, I always seem to get stuck on trying to figure out what would be a good source.
I do struggle a lot with "analysis paralysis" in most areas of my life, and this is no different.
I haven't figured out how to balance my wish to understand and my want to not be an additional burden.
Mostly I've decided that often it's not worth for me to ask for reliable and good sources since even that extra work is: extra work.
I wish I could be more confident evaluating sources but I've found that I have strong preconceptions about a lot of things and I'm fantasticly prone to confirmation bias.
Oh, my! I really do sound like a jerk! Well, I'll leave this here and go try and find some resources on open-mindedness, critical thinking and all the -isms
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Comment on Non-queer men of Tildes: PLEASE consider before commenting on ~life.women and ~lgbt without careful consideration. We are losing members over this issue. in ~tildes
fnulare Link ParentAh, I see what you mean. Thanks for taking the time to explain. I'll give it a think and possibly get back to you if I think I have anything to add. I've also reread my comment (the grandparent to...Ah, I see what you mean. Thanks for taking the time to explain.
I'll give it a think and possibly get back to you if I think I have anything to add.
I've also reread my comment (the grandparent to this one)and it comes of as much more snarky than I would like, for that I apologise (with the mildest form of apology that is barely an aknowledgement) but now I'm the tired one so I won't try to edit it now.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (October 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare Link ParentI'm pleased to hear you figured it out, even if the result isn't appealing I think it gets easier if you see what you are dealing with. As I'm in the habit of saying: a hug, or equivalent that you...I'm pleased to hear you figured it out, even if the result isn't appealing I think it gets easier if you see what you are dealing with.
As I'm in the habit of saying: a hug, or equivalent that you feel comfortable to receive, from an internet stranger.
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Comment on Non-queer men of Tildes: PLEASE consider before commenting on ~life.women and ~lgbt without careful consideration. We are losing members over this issue. in ~tildes
fnulare Link ParentI wholeheartedly agree with you, but I'm having trouble understanding how your comment relates to mine. In my head I was replying to the question: With something like: I am aware that I struggle...I wholeheartedly agree with you, but I'm having trouble understanding how your comment relates to mine.
In my head I was replying to the question:
How is it possible for someone to say "this isn't happening"?
With something like:
I think it's a completely understandable defence mechanism to not have to take a look at yourself and your own part in the oppression.
I am aware that I struggle with people and understanding us, but your reply seems quite out of place to me.
In my mind there is no way "reason" is a fundamental part of human behaviour, if it where we wouldn't have sexism, racism or any other form of oppression, greed or global warming to deal with.
If we could lean on reason the world would look much different and we wouldn't have us snowflakes reacting with our feelings to everything new.
I suspect there is something in my first reply that gets lost in translation (not only language but also from my particular mind to yours and others reading this), if you are willing to put in the effort I would be thankful to understand where I went wrong in my attempt at communicating one way that I understand human behaviour.
Since my previous comment I have:
I think one thing (of many) that I'm dealing with and that is quite harsh on my mental state is that I'm attending a sort of "Intro to autism" course at the place that is supposed to help me live life as an autist (or person with autism, who knows!). It sort of makes it sink in...