fnulare's recent activity
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Comment on Just published my first game in ~games
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Comment on Just published my first game in ~games
fnulare Link ParentOne more thing: the controls during the actual game are marvellous, just a few games in I don't even think about them. Very smooth and yet exact. Very well done!One more thing: the controls during the actual game are marvellous, just a few games in I don't even think about them. Very smooth and yet exact. Very well done!
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Comment on Just published my first game in ~games
fnulare LinkCongratulations! Finishing something is a great feat! And also understanding that you have to go so much smaller than you could ever imagine is a great lesson. Now that you have finished and...Congratulations! Finishing something is a great feat! And also understanding that you have to go so much smaller than you could ever imagine is a great lesson. Now that you have finished and published a little something, the next one can only get bigger! Again: congratulations! 🎉🎉🎉
First impressions: Good! A fun little twist, it looks to be the perfect kind of busywork I need when I listen to audio books to stop my mind from wandering away. A keeper! Thanks!
A really tiny something: something is bugging me about the End screen, the UI of what buttons are where feel slightly off, but I dont really have a great idea on how to change it... Maybe "close" could move up the top-right corner of the result-box with just an "×" and then the buttons at the bottom of the result-box could be "exit" and "new game" while you only have "inspect" at the bottom of the whole screen (like "exit" is in the first screen). I think that the important change is to move "new game" into the result-box. But this is really a teeny, tiny thing!
Some propaganda: I just wanted to suggest that for this kind of small thing that mostly is a learning experience and morale booster you might want to consider making it libre software so you can publish it on F-droid avoiding Google all together (DISCLAIMER: I have no experience making or publishing anything on any platform I just don't like Google ;)).
I have no idea what's available on the apple side of things though ;)
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (May 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare LinkMixed emotions! The other day at work I fantazised a whole scenario around building a new family with a 20 year younger woman that I sometimes meet there. Fun! A little hot! But it also made me a...Mixed emotions!
The other day at work I fantazised a whole scenario around building a new family with a 20 year younger woman that I sometimes meet there. Fun! A little hot! But it also made me a bit sad that I never managed to do that when I was younger, in part because I think I missed sooo many signals. It's also sad that I do the classical (old) man thing of "she smiles and is nice to me therefore she is into me", but I'm trying not to beat myself up too much about it and rather take it for what it is (a little bit of intimacy-starvation and a little bit if spring! And whole lot if sexism, but I can't really do much about that besides being extra careful to not say or do anything inappropriate which I already do[0]).
But mostly I'm taking it as a sign that I might be "up for it" again, whatever it means, so I've reached out to a woman my age that's shown some interest in me and it seems like we are going to bake a cake (as a date). Exciting! I'm both quite slow in building relationships and quite open to people, I really enjoy the process of getting to know someone. But I am trying to remind myself to also let the other person get to know me since that has been one (of many) failure point in previous attempts: I know them and they can get quite infatuated with the attention I give but they don't really know me and I start to not dare to not give as much attention anymore which is tiring
We're planning a surprise party for one of my closest friends 50th birthday. It will be a fun 24h getaway with some of his friends. I'm more than a little anxious about one of the participants (that I've never liked) as he has treated me badly once before and I suspect that he won't be able to let it go even at this occasion (he tried to apologise but it was just making excuses so I didn't accept). I don't give a shit about him and I know that our friend and a couple of the others are on my side in the conflict (that isn't that big, but still meaningful to me, and if he brings it up I will stand my ground) so if anyone has to go it's the shithead. I just don't want that to become one focus of the event.
I'm going to a big party for another friends 50th birthday this weekend. My daughter will bartend with the other kids (who are 22-25 already!) and that's weirding me out a little, I'm not used to drink alkohol around her. Challenge! It's at a great location with option to sleep over but still close to my home so I can just walk home if I want which is really nice. I will try to make myself comfortable without hiding and try to stay open to people (I'm guessing I will be at least aquianted to around half of the other guests).
On Friday I will do 1-2 hours of cognitive testing with a psychologist as the final step of her assessment of me as having ADHD and/or being autistic.
One week later I will meet a psychiatrist that will give me 0-2 diagnoses based on that assessment.
This will be the end of a journey to get assessed that started over 2 years ago.
I think I have feelings around it, but mostly I'm just holding my breath in anticipation. Whatever happens I will have gained some knowledge about myself and maybe it will help me going forward in my life.
I'm hoping to get diagnosed with both as that will give me access to amphetamines (of some kind, that might be helpful) and some other resources including a case manager that can help keeping things organised in the future.
We'll see...
Well, that's that, for now.
Please engage however you want. I'm open to any comments, advice, etc. Or just a vote to show you've read it or a hug or an invitation to think about something else.
[0] if anyone has any advice on how to change away from this and any kind of "automatic" sexist thoughts and behaviour (does obviously apply for other oppressive behaviour like racism, etc) I'm all ears. I'll take any resources on it as I would love to be able to not be sexist, etc
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (May 2026) in ~health.mental
fnulare (edited )Link ParentI'd like to offer a few perspectives (that also serve as reminders to myself!)... Mostly, I think that for me, trying to figure out everything all the time isn't very helpful. It's hard to stop...I'd like to offer a few perspectives (that also serve as reminders to myself!)...
Mostly, I think that for me, trying to figure out everything all the time isn't very helpful. It's hard to stop myself since I really like (= am almost obsessed - in a nonclinical usage) to understand myself and I'm thinking about "all the things all the time" anyway so I might as well spend some time on figuring out myself and my feelings.
I'm not saying to bottle stuff up rather that the constant scanning myself and cozying up to my depressive feelings at all times isn't really helpful (although it feels safe). Instead I try to decide to do it consciously and with limited time (regardless of if I'm alone with my timer, with friends or a therapists).
I also think that sometimes we need to "feel better" before we can let somethings surface. Like how kids sometimes can "explode for no reason" after an excellent day because they feel great and safe. For me spring is sometimes like that, like finally winter is over and now it's time to "live happily" again so I start to feel better and BAM! something new (but old, you know) pops up.
One thing I understood about me a few years back is that I'm very critical of myself but that's OK! What I mean is that I could (and still can, but quite rarely) wind myself up by thinking I'm bad in someway and then I feel bad for being bad and then I criticise myself for feeling bad and wind & wind & wind & wind & wind & there is no end to it, and it is really hard to pull myself out of this turmoil once it gets started.
And it stems not from the first negative feeling about myself (often of being a failure in some way) but from the build-up of criticising myself recursively. When I manage to just notice the first negative feeling about myself I can almost laugh it off or just sit with it like a tired old friend without spiraling into a helpless wad of panicked sadness.
However helpful, or not, this is I do hope that you find your way through with whatever help you can find and keep building towards the life you want.
[Edit:] corrected "??? of" to "few"
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Comment on A Dialogue on Freedom in ~humanities
fnulare Link ParentYes, you are correct here that philosophically they are most likely identical in all ways (I am not really able to argue this point), while there are some legal differences. I just think it's...See, I would argue that philosophically and in practice they're identical and it's only legally that they're distinct.
Yes, you are correct here that philosophically they are most likely identical in all ways (I am not really able to argue this point), while there are some legal differences.
I just think it's important to acknowledge that there are many ways for humans to interact with the rest of earth and its inhabitants and the "owning" as it is used today by "western" capitalist thought is not the only way to use and share.
Although functionally it may look the same I think that intent, feelings around, outcome, etc matter.
Well, sure, but I meant in the actual argument presented. LukeZaz argued that was the point and I missed it, but I disagree. Perhaps they were right.
I took the comic and this comment section as an invitation to think and talk about resource management on a large scale (but I'm biased as that is one if my favourite subjects) and I think the point the writer/artist is trying to make (in the second to last panel) is that we need to be, in some sense, more pragmatic about how we think so that we don't forget the "real world" (something I'm terrible at, in some ways, but clearly in this way!)
I kind of agree with the comic but I also think it is important
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Comment on A Dialogue on Freedom in ~humanities
fnulare Link ParentAh! I see, I'm glad to hear that <3 (In my limited understanding of English "sought to" includes an intent. And in my opinion the intent was never there - regardless of the amount in the...Ah! I see, I'm glad to hear that <3
(In my limited understanding of English "sought to" includes an intent. And in my opinion the intent was never there - regardless of the amount in the lipservice expense column.)
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Comment on A Dialogue on Freedom in ~humanities
fnulare (edited )Link ParentI don't agree. There are three wars going on at the moment that even I know about that have everything to do with land and natural resources: Israel's war against Palestine Russia's war against...I don't agree.
There are three wars going on at the moment that even I know about that have everything to do with land and natural resources:
- Israel's war against Palestine
- Russia's war against Ukraine
- USA's war against Iran
To say that these wars have nothing to do with land and control of natural resources is baffling to me.
[Edit:] Changed "on" to "against" in the third example too, as I think it's an important distinction (that I somehow failed to make in 1 out of 3 cases!)
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Comment on A Dialogue on Freedom in ~humanities
fnulare Link ParentNot "could have", just "have". Obviously if you are sub-letting a room in Caracas and I want to live in Oslo you don't have power over me directly while indirectly we are ofc part of the same...Okay, sure, people who own property could have power over those who don't.
Not "could have", just "have". Obviously if you are sub-letting a room in Caracas and I want to live in Oslo you don't have power over me directly while indirectly we are ofc part of the same system.
But somebody's got to own it [...]
Not really. Although "own", "control" and "decide how to use, if at all" can seem like exactly synonymous they are not. (We are talking philosophically here, in everyday life I could make the opposite point to make a point.)
so what's the actual proposal to make a system that's better?
There are numerous proposals laying around. Some proposals I like are:
- all infrastructure should be run without profit and be controlled by some kind of democratic institution
- noone in a company can earn (including all benefits, packages, etc) more than double of anyone else (including all subcontractors, etc)
- removing inheritance as a concept so that all property acquired by an individual is given back to the community on death (some exceptions apply and anti-weasel policies too!)
- etc, etc
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Comment on A Dialogue on Freedom in ~humanities
fnulare Link ParentWARNING Derailing of topic ahead! Feel free to ignore and not engage :) People keep saying this, but is it really true? From my point of view neoliberal policies have sought to: make it possible...WARNING Derailing of topic ahead! Feel free to ignore and not engage :)
Neoliberal policies have sought to increase freedom [...]
People keep saying this, but is it really true?
From my point of view neoliberal policies have sought to:
- make it possible for capitalists to extract wealth from the state and other commons (private profit, socialised losses), impoverishing the societies where the policies are implemented.
- make everyone care about the economy the same way that capitalists care about the economy (but we are all behind in capital, knowledge, actual care and time so we just keep getting more and more behind) to make us forget that another world is possible.
- give people options on how to spend our money but the options don't really matter. Sure Disney+ might feel "better" than Netflix for some people but if we pooled our resources and cut out profits we could all have access to all the content with a great UI for far less money and cognitive work of choosing provider. (And do we really want to watch this much moving media or are we just to tired of it all to do anything else?)
My points are:
- having sooo many options for everything is not "freedom" it is just "freedom of choice" (in Swedish we have the words "frihet" and "valfrihet" respectively)
- being blasted with propaganda about consumption and "the economy" makes it really, really hard to not get dragged into it (plus the whole "there is no ethical consumption under capitalism").
(Disclaimer: I'm a classical European anarchist with a Marxist view on economy and Kropotkin's theory of mutual aid as a base.)
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
fnulare Link ParentI was not offended. I like correctness. Especially around confusing things. My "thank you":s are earnest. If I came off as annoyed it's because I'm annoyed at myself. Ive been trying to think...I was not offended. I like correctness. Especially around confusing things.
My "thank you":s are earnest.
If I came off as annoyed it's because I'm annoyed at myself. Ive been trying to think about the article and discussion since it was posted but in the end I didn't manage to do it well anyway.
(I still stand by my points, but they are not stated clearly. And now I don't think I have the energy to rewrite it better)
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
fnulare Link ParentYes, you're right, again, I'm just dizzy! I will let my comments stay anyway for now.Yes, you're right, again, I'm just dizzy!
I will let my comments stay anyway for now.
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
fnulare Link ParentYes, you are correct, I'm confusing them. But if these two pieces are considered solidly liberal and that's the kind of mainstream left of the USA, I think my point still stands. I will however...Yes, you are correct, I'm confusing them.
But if these two pieces are considered solidly liberal and that's the kind of mainstream left of the USA, I think my point still stands.
I will however edit my first post, thank you for noticing <3
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Comment on Why so many people are going "no contact" with their parents in ~life
fnulare (edited )LinkI was confused, "The New Yorker" and the "New York Post" are different publications, thanks @TreeFiddyFiddy for noticing my mistake. I will let my original comment remain below One thing I think...- Exemplary
I was confused, "The New Yorker" and the "New York Post" are different publications, thanks @TreeFiddyFiddy for noticing my mistake. I will let my original comment remain below
One thing I think is important is to read this in it's context: the article is published by "The New Yorker" a USA conservative publication that seems to run a push for traditional family values (whatever that means) including the concept that liberal identity politics have gone too far!!
I think we must read this piece together with the anti-woke-article that is also being discussed here on tildes.
"We" don't really have to get dragged down to this level and engage with it since the premise is just flawed.
The conservative/right-wing/centrist tactic to talk about these kinds of things is just a way to pull the discussion away from structural economic problems that they are making worse while lining their pockets with everything they can grab on the way out (regardless if that exit is forced on them in 2 or 20 years)
I too have a personal story related to the topic, but sharing this here is in my opinion a mistake (even though it's an easy one to make since the article and this discussion is begging me to do it).
We could create a separate topic for sharing our stories but allowing anyone (including the NYP) to be able to find our stories by connecting the article-url to them is feeding the trolls.
I am sorry for not being able to share my thoughts more quickly but I'm just not that fast.
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Comment on How computationally expensive is filtering and ignoring? in ~tildes
fnulare Link ParentIt wasn't yesterday that someone called me silly, thanks <3 I do understand that you didn't mean it in the endearing way but I'll take it anyway!It wasn't yesterday that someone called me silly, thanks <3
I do understand that you didn't mean it in the endearing way but I'll take it anyway!
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Comment on How computationally expensive is filtering and ignoring? in ~tildes
fnulare Link ParentThank you, this was exactly what I wanted to hear <3Thank you, this was exactly what I wanted to hear <3
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Comment on How computationally expensive is filtering and ignoring? in ~tildes
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Comment on How computationally expensive is filtering and ignoring? in ~tildes
fnulare Link ParentWell, I haven't used an LLM on purpose, anyway. But I was more concerned about tildes and my fellow tildatians rather than resource usage at large.Well, I haven't used an LLM on purpose, anyway. But I was more concerned about tildes and my fellow tildatians rather than resource usage at large.
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How computationally expensive is filtering and ignoring?
Hello, I realised that I dont ignore and/or filter out topics and/or tags because I think they are costly for the servers. Is there something to it or is it almost free? Can I help alleviate the...
Hello,
I realised that I dont ignore and/or filter out topics and/or tags because I think they are costly for the servers.
Is there something to it or is it almost free?
Can I help alleviate the cost by going back and "unignore" posts that won't clutter my frontpage any longer since they aren't active?
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (July 2025) in ~health.mental
fnulare Link ParentOoh, that sounds like a nice pattern for some people I know, I will spread the word :)Ooh, that sounds like a nice pattern for some people I know, I will spread the word :)
My interest is piqued, like a lot!
Tell me more about these solitaires, or single player games, as you call them :)