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Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (July 2023)
This is a monthly thread for those who need it. Vent, share your experiences, ask for advice, talk about how you are doing. Let's make this a compassionate space for all who may need one.
That sounds really difficult and stressful. Sending you good vibes and hoping you find a job where you are valued for the work you do. It should be illegal to suddenly change salary type and cut it like that, especially when you moved there for the job.
I can identify with how you feel. I rode the "therapy & meds" train for many years but felt, for me and my particular issues, that it wasn't the most effective plan for me. I didn't like the meds. Side effects were awful and for me, did nothing but act as a bandaid. I didn't figure out or remedy anything. Just felt numb and uncreative. It's disappointing because there's an expectation that it will be somewhat helpful but for those of us who don't feel any therapeutic effects, it's disheartening. I hope you are able to find something that will be helpful for you. I personally believe mental health assistance can take other forms besides therapy and medication. Whatever it is: art, spirituality, gardening, exercise, writing, meditation, etc. I just wanted to post a little support for you and anyone who may need it. I'm sorry you're struggling. I can relate.
I can see how frustrated you are and can't even imagine how you must feel.
Have you considered reading Michael Pollan's book How to Change Your Mind? They aren't for everyone, but the "new" research on psychedelics have shown great promise for issues such as addictions, anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Given in the proper settings and overseen by competent persons, psychedelics have shown to vastly improve those conditions to the point where those suffering no longer fit those diagnosis. The healing occurs during, and more importantly, after sessions with follow ups with a professional counselor.
I wish you well on your road to recovery.
Yo, I also struggle with anxiety and depression. I used to have panic attacks and after I got out of the hospital I would suddenly have very scary ones for "no reason" at least once a day. I realize now it was PTSD from my hospital stay, and adjusting to all the new medications. But at the time I was so afraid of not having control over my mind and body. What really helped me and what I return to every day are skills I learned in (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) DBT. It's a therapy that teaches skills to help when you are emotionally disregulated, and has different modlues. Unlike cognitive behavior therapy, which in my understanding is basically talk therapy, DBT is taught like a class and has a clear end with objectives. I highly recommend it.
It took me a year to find a therapist I thought I wanted to talk to that wasn’t fully booked. Don’t shut down the idea of therapy there are a ton of them ranging from social workers to clinical psychologists. None of them push drugs on you. I really like mine. He’s basically been a shaman for me while we understand the hallucinations I had when I was a teenager.
Doing unusually well. My emotional work of the moment is around shame and humility. I’m naturally pretty prideful and overly invested in controlling others’ view of me. Just the letting go of that a bit is soooo relieving. I feel like striving to look good was taking most of my energy.
An amazing thing that happened as the hospital finally had room for me for gender affirming surgery after having gotten it cancelled due to covid 18 months ago. I kept calling every few months and I suppose the surgeon just had enough of my nagging. Last Wednesday the doctor in charge of the gender clinic in Aalborg had said that I have a right of guaranteed service after 12 months, but when I called hospital in Copenhagen, the secretary I spoke to completely refused that. However then the next day, last Thursday, the surgeon randomly calls me while I was on the phone with a healthcare counselor who was advising me about legalities and waiting times of other hospitals. So I hurry to end the conversation and accept his call, and he's like "well I guess you've waited long enough, can you be in Copenhagen tomorrow morning at 8?" I couldn't believe it, but I guess being annoying like this really pays. Because I would definitely not have had this surgery if I had just sat back and waited... but here I am just over a week out from surgery, healing very well, almost no pain to speak of anymore etc.
However I have BPD so things are never only good or only bad. It's always ups and downs, just a more stable this past week and a half. And therapy is really not helping in the short term. It's a long term project but it's hard to remember that part when (TW) you're digging into your past and having to confront some seriously uncomfortable things. Bullying, neglect, CSA... I mean it's not new to me, I know these things happened, but it's new that I'm having to confront them and can't just ignore it. So I am really struggling to come to terms with everything. My therapist is very clear that I am a victim, but my own feeling is that it's not that bad, that it's a gray area, that I was bullied because my classmates were just immature, that I was neglected because my dad was abused himself, and I was sexually abused because my brother was just a horny teenager who didn't know better. But like, the latter two are still in my life and I see them every once in a while and I don't feel I can just suddenly cut contact because of things that happened 15-20 years ago. Not too long ago at a family event, I hadn't even thought about it the entire evening, only when I was on my way home did I realise that it hadn't even been on my mind. So I've moved on? But I'm also struggling to confront it? Ugh, therapy is fucking hard. I wish I didn't have to do it.
This became trauma dumping, sorry about that. Thanks for reading though.
Congrats on your surgery! Therapy is hard work. It's really admirable that you are doing it and trying to work through things. Imagine what happened to you happened to a close friend of yours. Would you tell them it's not that bad? Also if it's triggering for you to have past abusers in your life, you have every right to cut contact with them. It doesn't matter how long ago it was. You can always make a new decision, a new choice that has your emotional and physical safety in mind. My advice (acknowledging that I'm ignorant of the complexities and uniqueness of your situation) is to put your well being as a higher priority than the emotions of past abusers.
Thank you for your comment. I can't really respond properly I think but thanks.
It's very nice of you to respond to so many in this thread, too, by the way.
I’m ok.
I moved to a new city a year after a long-term relationship ended and started over. Both socially (I didn’t know anyone here) and professionally (I cut ties with my ex, whom I worked with exclusively for 5 years), and it’s been really hard.
I do freelance video editing and I’ve had barely any work because I don’t have a good portfolio, I ended up taking a full-time job with a local company doing “operations” for very low pay and it turned out to be a shit show. I quit that job due to my mental health declining and now I’m back to looking for work while I finish my one video editing gig I had lined up. I want to switch careers to Web Development but there’s so much to learn while I’m hemorrhaging money that I’m really struggling some days.
I had such great fortune with making friends and learning about the city, it’s just the job-related aspect of life that has got me down for the past two years. I know all of the things i’m working toward will take time but I sometimes question whether I will be able to get the end without drowning in debt and depression.
So there’s a lot of days I feel all of that but then I wake up the some days and feel motivated and present.
So I feel ok. I can do this.
I'd really like to be able to cry. The world, my life...everything eats away at me constantly. Just being able to break down and talk with another human would probably make a huge difference.
But, I will take a deep breath and trudge along.
I'm sorry you're going through all that you're going through, mate. You are enough, don't forget that.
I am much better than I was a few months ago when I threatened to end it all.
Cops showed up, I started behaving myself, but the damage was done and they confiscated all my firearms.
After that night I realized I don't need them and went to court to give them permission to send them to the smelters, 2nd amendment be damned.
Now im talking to someone and I have found a less stressful job that I hope will keep me in the right headspace for a long time.
I am so glad you did not end it all. Thankful that no one was hurt and that you are talking about it. That sounds so scary. I hope you can find things other than labor to relieve stress!
Started kayaking alot more these days, and read more books in the past few months than I did in the past 10 years.
Amazing how things can change once you get a kick in the ass.
Not great. I mean I’ve certainly been worse but I’m in kind of a valley of apathy where I’m not really hurting but I can’t really function.
I finished my PhD recently and am waiting for a rec letter to get hired for my postdoc (bureaucratic requirement, the professor wants me and didn’t require any, so I only recently found out about the requirement and many of my usual recommenders are on vacation).
In the mean time, I have no social life. My (former) school is in a suburb, all my friends have graduated and moved away before me, I’m just chronically tired. I should be working on moving to the city of my new gig, but I just haven’t had the energy to figure it out. I’m also just intimidated by the moving process since I’ve never moved this far away before (I have spent my adult life largely in a two hour radius of where I grew up).
I desperately need to get out of this place but, after being burnt out for the last year of my PhD, I just don’t have a lot of energy these days. I feel like moving will give me a chance to reset mentally and get some excitement for life back but the hard part is making that happen in my current state.
Honestly if anyone has any tips or advice that worked for them in a similar situation, I’d love to hear them.
I moved to a big city after accepting a job offer there and it was a large shock to my system. I was running on addrenraline from the moment I accepted the job offer. I remember adjusting to the time zone and being in an unfamiliar place was really hard. I was able to make friends with coworkers over time but it took a lot of effort. Don't try to do too much too fast, or push yourself too hard. Since you're already burnt out, maybe try reconnecting with some old friends, plan a trip or do something to help you recharge.
Celebrate your PhD! As for next steps, pick something that is 30% hard and start there. Like, today I'm going to look up 1 moving company and what its rates are. Or I'm going to pack 1 box of things I don't need out. Writing things down on paper can help (it helps me anyway).
It's a blur, living day to day. I'd probably be lost without my dog and games right now.
It's not hard getting through it, I think, but the loneliness and self-isolation does get to me at times.
I’ve been in situations like that (though probably nothing like whatever you’re going through). It can help to roll the dice sometimes and just do something completely outside your routine or comfort zone, something random and unexpected, if you’re feeling like you’re stuck in a rut like that. Opening yourself up to a new experience can help free some of the logjams sometimes.
Thank goodness for dogs!
2 weeks ago I finally pulled the trigger and got out of a 5 year relationship, where I was rarely happy. We had already had 2 "break up" talks this year alone and this was the end of it. Not to get in depth, but I'd spend most of the time in complete silence because she'd either be buried in her cell phone the whole time scrolling FB/IG/whatever, endlessly talking about the same 2 topics that I'd long lost interest in, or because if I ever did talk she's not being paying anyways or just interrupt to say something completely unrelated. I had tried to talk about this in past but, like anytime I'd try to bring things up, she'd twist it around as though it were a personal attack or otherwise turn it into an argument. Before Xmas last year my grandma had died, and the lead-up to it and when I got back from the funeral, anytime I tried to actually talk about she'd always change the subject to be about her. After that moment I was just emotionally checked-out of the relationship and the first breakup talk was before Valentines Day. I'm gonna timeline this out because it's kind of a rollercoaster...
Fast forward to June 16th, it was a long 4 hour talk and by the end of it I was done. I tried offering a break but she lost it and said no, a "break" is just breaking up. I went home. Saturday and Sunday suuucked. The only person I talked to Saturday was my best friend, who I had talked to for advice about breaking up with her in the past and he was super supportive. He texted me back about grabbing beer and wings Sunday. The Sunday was Father's day and when I called my folks they asked about her if we had any plans and I dropped the news, they were supportive about it too as was my sister who is getting married in a couple months.
Monday 19th: Still sucked, talked to a friend at work about it because his fiancé was kinda friends with her, he offered to grab a beer with me. There is a different lady coworker (A) that I'd been on-again off-again work-BSing with, that we only recently started shooting the breeze again (video games, guns, "work sucks", etc). Just normal stuff.
Tue 20th: I got 1 cumulative hour of sleep that night so the next was miserable. Another work friend stopped by to ask about our next DnD session (tentative July 1) and I had to break the news to him. He said that sucks but "your mental health is more important" and was gonna send a text to the group. I said I'd try to reach out to her about it because I also needed to kick off the process of getting my stuff back. It took an hour to build up the strength to text her that night, and it wasn't pretty. I opened with "how are you" and she dumped a lot on me, and when I eventually suggested getting our stuff back she went off about how quickly I was ending it as though she held hope. I tried to be apolitical about it, but then she tried saying we'll just take a break but I shut that down, and said no 3 times, because she refused the option before and was 180ing me about a couple things. I said I'm going to bed, and my answer tomorrow morning won't change from tonight.
Wed 21st: After the chat the night before I started feeling better about my decision, and that it was the right one. Since I got over that little hump I was talking more with friends and coworkers, including A. Since the ex was out of the picture I kinda felt a little easier chatting with her because there was 1 less constraint. Nothing special, but just the fact there was someone to talk to, she'd been divorced for about a year, no kids, so she had extra free time as well, because most of my other friends had family-life after work.
Thur 22nd: I had thought A had known I was in a relationship previously, maybe I mentioned it maybe I didn't, I had said "we" when talking about travels and stuff. So I wanted to kinda broach the subject just to get it out of the way, and not dance around it. Never quite got the opportunity at work, but later that evening we were texting and I brought it up. She had said she suspected it and really wanted to ask at some point this week because she could tell I had some weight on my shoulders. We ended up texting late because she could offer a certain perspective my other friends couldn't since we barely knew each other, didn't know the ex at all, and had gone through some similar stuff leading up to her divorce. That talk really helped me feel better and work through the breakup.
Fri 23rd: I felt good. Was supposed to go golfing with some friends saturday, but that fell through and I wasn't even remotely concerned about going home that weekend with zero plans, sleeping by myself and waking up alone. However that night while I was texting with A she had mentioned she was going clothes shopping the next day and dreaded it because our town had shit selection. I asked if she ever had been to the mall in a bigger city an hour away; a lot more options there, plus more shops throughout, and 3 breweries. She said she never had been, and after a lot more texting I eventually asked if she'd like to go since my plans got cancelled. She dove right in and said she was already excited. I was thrilled, but left it in my head that it's just 2 new friends hanging out for the day, no strings whatsoever.
Sat 24th: We hit the road and talk the whole way. Full on, respectful, equal conversation. Get to the mall, she tries on a couple shirts, I help pick one out but keep my distance as to not seem to latch on. We go to a couple more stores, help pick out a band tshirts cuz that's what she's into. A couple more shops and we leave the mall for a brewery. I mention a pop-culture book store and she's interested in checking it out and frickin LOVED it on the inside because of the eclectic selections, but doesn't buy anything. We hit a restaurant for an app and a beer, and we bond over our love of giant soft pretzels and hatred of mustard. This is where a lot of the relationship talks start and we start learning about each other. After that place we hit 1 brewery, and start sharing more personal stuff like pet peeves, where we went wrong, how we got to where we are, family stuff. She steals 2 beer glasses from the place and we hit the next brewery. We each get a flight and this is where the convo really starts to hit its stride because partway through the night we start talking less about each other and a little more about "us" which isn't what I was expecting. We decide to eventually leave because it's getting late and she has dogs to tend to, and recognizes she's a little more tipsy than she thought (I was still perfectly fine though we'd gone 1-for-1 on drinks). We pay and leave, and I offer my hand to help down the steps at the porch. She takes my hand and when we get to the parking lot she pulls my arm over around her shoulder and tucks into me. When we get to my car, she pulls me around and goes tongue-first into my mouth. A lot of kissing. Get into the car and head back, holding hands the entire way, jamming out to music, huge smiles on both our faces, talking about "us" a little more and admit that we both like each other. When I get to her place I help get some stuff out of the back/trunk. More kissing. But she says she knows I just got out of a relations and she doesn't wanna just be a rebound, she wants it to be more. I completely agreed and we both said we want to take it a little slow but we both know the direction we want to take it. She grins, tugs on the bill of my hat and says "text me to let me know you got home safe". I felt on top of the goddamn world, and could see there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
Sunday 25th: I texted her that I got home but didn't hear back until 1pm. She was hung-the-fuck-over. Turns out she left her wallet and sunglasses in my car and asked to come over to get them. I thought she would come in, hang for a bit and we could talk about the previous night. Instead she grabbed her stuff and looked eager to leave. She did say that she drank way too much and doesn't remember most of the last place, or how she even got home. A nice kick in the nuts to me. I wanted to mention it but she seemed grossly uninterested in hearing it, which almost makes me thing she wasn't being honest and didn't want to admit the kissing and "us" talks. Didn't talk much that day because apparently she was in-and-out all day nursing the hangover.
Monday 26th: Normal talking, she texted me first. Nothing out of the ordinary. She said my neighborhood was familiar because she was looking at houses there and had put an offer on a house that you could see from my front porch, and had thought it'd be cool if we were neighbors. Later that night, I took the initiative to say how much I really enjoyed spending time with her saturday and she said she felt the same way, and that I'd like to see her more and she said the perfect response..."I'd like that" So not only was the light much brighter but the end of the tunnel was much closer than I thought. I know it wasn't the best idea to rush into these things, but too many times in my past had I waited for "better" moments only to find out they'd eventually moved on because they thought I wasn't interested or otherwise took too long.
Tue 27th: Normal talking tried to see what her plans were for the upcoming weekend (travel for the 4th) so many we could spend another evening together. Nothing set yet, but that day a buddy called to ask if I wanted to go to a Braves game the next day since a friend had dropped out. I had some spare vacation time so I jumped on board immediately.
Wed 28th: One of the happiest days I can remember in years. At a Braves game with a friend, and thinking me and A were on cruise control with moving forward to potentially pursue a relationship; I fully recognize we weren't in one, or dating, but the mutual intent was there. She was on my mind most of the day, and I went to the team shop to get her a souvenir. Didn't text much which was cool. I get home and that evening she said due to some stuff with her parents she's considering moving back to help them out, and has a lot on her mind. I say that I'm here to talk if she needs it...and I didn't hear from her for the rest of the night.
Thurs 29th: I got to work a hair early and was going to sneak the little souvenir onto her desk as a little surprise, but her office door was closed (she wasn't there yet) so I figured I'd wait. At about 9 I reach out to ask how she was doing from the night before. 20 minutes later I get a response.
And that's the last either of us spoke to each other. Luckily, I guess, another friend's bday was that evening and I regifted him the souvenir. I really didn't have anyone to talk to about this because most of my friends are work friends, some don't know I broke up with my last gf, and it's not an easy topic to broach because it'd seem like I broke up then directly "pursued" A. She has a better reputation at work than I do so it wouldn't be an easy topic anyway and she'll always come out on top. I was able to very vaguely talk to some people about it by making it seem like I met someone right-place-right-time and then the rest happened. A lot of the places we ended up going were places I had associated memories of the ex, and we had inadvertently sat in the exact same seat the last time I went there with the ex, because I kept staring at the same artwork on the walls. At first I thought it was awkward but then felt I was overwriting the old memories and reassociating them with, at least at the time, happier ones. There's a song called So I Met Someone by VHS Collection that was on some existing playlists of mine, and when me and A started vibing a bit I just had a desire to listen to it...a lot. After the her Thursday text it popped up in my playlist and I starting bawling again. I had to remove it from my Spotify and block the video on YouTube.
As for me, I feel far worse now than that weekend after I broke up. All the good talking with/being with A did for me, just to get over the breakup, felt like it's been completely ripped out. I teared up a little about the ex, but I've been legitimately crying over A as bad as it sounds. In that short span I had regained so much of my confidence I'd lost with the ex but now it's all gone again...I spent all weekend thinking back to the years I was single and alone. This genuinely broke me, and I had legitimate difficulty keeping myself contained at work Thursday, Friday and Monday.
The worst part is it's been playing over and over in my head how things seemed far too perfect (nothing this good ever happens to me, and when something good does happen there is always something equally bad to balance it out), and makes me think if she used me to get him to commit (it's happened to me before), or if she actually remembers Saturday but was more ashamed about it, or if it's karma because a lot of my ex's arguments for why we shouldn't break up directly apply to me in this scenario. I am worried how it's going to impact work from here on out. I know I made a lot of mistakes in this whole process (possibly too fast, too fast after a breakup, don't shit where you eat) and there is going to be a price to pay. Sorry for the wall of text.
UPDATE: Over the weekend I was talking to my best friend and he ended up inviting me to a 4th of July party he and his wife were going to. Partly so I didn't spend it alone and a tiny bit because a lady friend of theirs was going, and while she has zero interest in a relationship (in general) he knew it'd at least be good for me to have someone to talk to. I get there, she gives me a nice smile so I thought maybe she knew I was coming. I don't think she did, and she otherwise had zero interest in talking with me. I'd strike up a convo, we'd get a few sentences in and then she'd just kinda...leave.
Today (5th) I went out to check the mail, and in it was an unposted envelope with just my name handwritten. It's a 5-page letter from my ex about how miserable she's been since the breakup, citing specific examples, but it ends with her accepting the fact we're done but still wants to try to get back together. I felt absolutely nothing while reading it...except some anger at A because some of the stuff in the letter hit a little too close to some of the details and aftermath with her. But what made it sting a little more...when I went out to check the mail and saw the note, A's car was parked in front of the house near me she put an offer on. So I think she bought the house.
Not great. I'm currently studying for the bar exam for the third time. This time is going to be my final try for a while if not permanently. My anxiety won't let me think just about focusing on passing so I'm randomly hit with these horrible waves of what I'm going to do if I fail.
It feels like I'm pretty much fucked if I fail, because I have no idea what good my JD will be without my license. All the JD preferred jobs I've looked at all want 5+ years of experience for entry or non-managing level positions. I've been kicking myself for getting a useless bachelors degree on top of a JD because it leaves me without anything to really fall back on. I've thought about going back to school and getting a master's in something else but I have no idea in what. I looked at aviation management because it seems interesting but I don't know.
Just try to take it one day at a time. Every lawyer I have ever known agrees that the bar exam sucks. My dad has almost wrapped up his legal career and still remembers questions he got wrong on his bar exam because it haunted him so much. Some anxiety can be useful with keeping you on task studying, but too much and you’ll prevent yourself from studying in a way that’s helpful. All you can do is give the exam your best shot, so try to give yourself the care you need to be at your best when exam day comes.
Whatever your bachelors is in probably doesn’t matter. The important part is teaching you to think critically. Moreover jobs often have requirements listed that aren’t strictly necessary, but are really more “nice to haves.” I wouldn’t let the years of experience stop you from applying. If there’s a subject or field you want to get into that you believe would really benefit from you having your masters, then by all means, go for it, but if you have a JD, that’s evidence you are quite capable when it comes to understanding and analyzing a complicated system.
An idea might be to contact the career center at the school you got your JD from. You are very likely not the first person to finish law school there and not become a practicing attorney. They might have suggestions on what kind of career options are available and can help you polish your resume and cover letter.
Myself personally, I feel like I’m mostly doing ok and would be fine if I lived in a vacuum (apart from lack of oxygen and decompression), but I feel like there’s people around me bringing me down emotionally and financially that I can’t escape. It’s not as easy as just cutting them out of my life, I’m more or less stuck dealing with these peoples’ shit for likely years to come. I just feel trapped in my current situation dealing with the stupid decisions of others, not that I haven’t made some of my own, but they seem to chronically make bad decisions on a regular basis. So I just try to maintain the status quo, while it’s slowly dragging me down month to month. I keep wondering how long it can go on for before something breaks and the whole thing comes tumbling down. Moving out into a place of my own would help, but with ridiculous rental prices and me still being on the hook for my current mortgage, I can’t go anywhere. And so here I am, stuck in the middle.
I’m mostly doing better but really struggling with my eating disorder issues lately.
On the surface, yeah, I’ve been trying super hard to make sure I get enough calories (or as much as possible without making myself sick) from foods that feel “safe” or at least “safe enough.” But I currently have a very physically active job as I’m still not mentally ready to go back to my career behind a desk, so I’m burning a lot more than I can make up for some days. I broke down the other day because I actually lost three pounds despite my efforts.
It’s extra frustrating because I know my other struggles would be much easier if I can get this to fall into place. Sometimes my brain is so foggy I can’t work on any hobbies, or my body so worn down I can’t even do chores or self-care outside of a shower.
Like I said, it’s getting better, but I’m impatient. I’ve gone through enough other struggles the past three years and I just want it over with.
Yesterday was my 31st birthday. Wasn't really a happy trooper during most of it. I've been mentally exhausted from the home buying process I went through last year. I feel so lonely. I have no friends, I want a romantic partner but I feel super-alienated by the gay dating scene. I'm also supposed to be studying so I can take a cybersecurity cert but I just feel so dead from a motivational standpoint. It doesn't help that I got diagnosed with ADHD about two years ago but I'm currently unmedicated because every medication I've tried so far has had shitty side-effects that I can't bear.
I feel you with the no friends. Why is it so hard to make friends in your 30s? Get a hobby people will tell you, but what if I don't like people? I think I'm an introvert. I love my wife and friends I have, but being around people exhausts me. Like, I can do it fine but then I just need to be away from people or I become miserable. I basically have two friends left, but one has kids so I see him maybe once a year and the other is struggling with mental health issues so I try to be there for him but it feels like walking on egg shells. Probably doesn't help that he lives 5 hours away.
Sorry, don't need to vent my shit on your post. Can you find something that gives you joy? I love video games and craft beer, so that takes my free time and distracts me from the fact that I don't really have or see friends anymore.
Lost my job last month, then the jeep decided to start losing 5l of oil every 3 days, so I've been left with no choice but to pay for repairs (rear main seals require a transmission jack, which I don't have), my fiancees dad graciously offered us his Audi in the meantime, which is another unbelievable amount of stress (it's his baby).
Also, the stepdaughter woke us up at 4 this morning in an absolute panic because of some drama in her group of friends that she absolutely needed a ride to go and fix.
All first world shit, I know, but it takes a toll. It's been manifesting in gi issues which doesn't help, and the extra time I have to sit and think about it tends to compound things.
I wouldn't be a consummate professional anxiety sufferer if I didn't offer some of the tools I use to help mitigate the stress, so here we go:
Walk. With a podcast, music, or just the sounds of your neighborhood. It makes you focus on the here and now, and can distract your brain from running in the little circles it finds so familiar. I've found that anywhere between half an hour to an hour works for me, but YMMV.
Happy, television length shows. Something where you won't run the risk of getting jump scared or wrapped up in any sort of exciting/scary situation. Stand up comedy is usually good, and I've found The Good Place to be a particularly effective medicine.