I have lost my r/finch community, and am feeling curious to see if there are any folks here who also find apps can be helpful for their mental health.

I struggle with anxiety and am processing a lot of grief, and may or may not have ADHD (I am in the process of getting tested, but it takes a while). My experiences with therapy are a bit mixed, so I am currently going down the route of trying to DIY my wellness a little. Starting simple with things like, sleep more, try to focus on drinking enough, go out in nature, switching off podcasts and phones and reading more. It's actually helped me, bit by bit.

One of my 'tools' is an app called finch, a virtual pet that encourages you to set goals, check in how you are feeling, journal, do mindful breathing and such. I tried many things and this app is the one that stuck and actually works.

Just wanted to ask, do any others here use wellness apps? And have they worked for you? Which do you recommend?

Just to be clear, I mean apps that work as a stand alone solution, rather than apps like 'better help' which ultimately just connect you to a therapist. Although Better Help has its uses too!

I'm writing this post in the spirit of the powerful conversations that I had participated in on reddit in /r/adhd. I'm giving up reddit, after this recent fiasco. And, so, I hope to find a similar community here.

And, so, here we go.

I recently quit my job in Big Tech after 7 years in that space. Corporate America, and Big Tech in particular (among other fields) is a human meat grinder. Humans go in and husks come out. After taking a medical leave of absence from work due to complications from anxiety, and multiple medical interventions, I realized that I needed to evaluate whether my job, even my career, was sustainable for me. It only took a few weeks, after returning to work, to accept that, yes, this job and perhaps this career are actively harming me. After talking about it with my wife, at length, I found relief in quitting.

At the core of it: my career has simply been incongruent with my values.

Sure, I've always been a nerd. I was the "brainy" kid. I didn't know how to people well (though I'm told that I'm not on the spectrum or not in any meaningful way). I'd always been overweight and prone to stress. Throughout my life, I was often labeled as the "sensitive" one by people. I rarely felt as though I fit in with any group of people, save perhaps for the other misfits who would band together because they didn't with in with any group of people.

Just before the pandemic began, at the tender age of 47, I was diagnosed with ADHD Combined type. More recently, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD, that I have likely suffered for 40 of my 50 years.

Now I know where that weight comes from: self-medication to give me a dopamine hit and numb me to layers of trauma. I also know where the emotional reactivity comes from: emotional flashbacks resulting from the C-PTSD.

1. Lexapro for well over a decade. It helped to blunt the lows but, I've found, also the highs. I rarely feel poignancy with Lexapro. When I have occasionally been able to ween from it, I have felt a far greater range of emotions.
2. I've had an excellent therapist for going on 8 years who practices ISTDP. He's helped me learn to show up for my more challenging emotions instead of instantly reaching to numb them.
3. Adderall and Vyvanse both used to help until I received a stellate ganglion block (Disclaimer: I have been a client of Dr Mulvaney's practice though I link to it as his explanation is excellent; I'd make this a footnote alas tildes doesn't support that extension for markdown)
4. Ketamine (prescribed) to better address the depression and anxiety. Ketamine, as a psychedelic, combined with the skills learned in therapy has let me dig deeper into my layers of trauma, leading to better overall mental health and better self-understanding.
5. Stellate Ganglion Block mentioned above. Short version: it reduced my seemingly PTSD-driven emotional reactivity to about 10% of what it was prior to the SGB. It's like getting a new nervous system. Unexpected side effect: medications that act on my nervous system now respond differently. As a result, stimulants are now extremely uncomfortable for me whereas before they were effective. Before the SGB, I would say that fear was my primary emotion. Now, I feel things.

I know: I'm privileged. I'm an "old white dude who profited from being in Tech". Yep. True. But I can't retire yet; we don't have that kind of money. We do, however, have enough such that I have the luxury of time to figure out my next steps.

What I have right now is the plan to make a plan. The core of it: live a life congruent with my values--not just at some far off retirement but here, now.

At first, step 1 was to answer this question: "What is the minimum amount of money that I need to earn for us to not massively disrupt our lives?" But then I realized that this is a fear-based question. It means starting out by saying "no" to everything that doesn't earn "enough" money for some arbitrary value of enough.

Where I'm at now, Step 1 Mark II, poses a more inspiring question: "What does retirement look like for my wife and I?" I don't know that we truly get to retire in the sense of living a life of leisure as seemingly many Boomers and earlier were privileged to do. Besides, part of my sense of accomplishment and peace is knowing that I did something to make the world better.

So what do you struggle with?
How are you doing?
What are you doing about it?

Be well.

P.S. This is me trying to do my part, as a new member of this community, to encourage growth not in membership but into different areas of discussion.

I keep reading about people getting "covid insomnia". You could say, it's keeping me up at night.

Really though, it's been getting pretty regular for me. I take xanax once in a while but keeping it to an absolute minimum (no more than 0.25mg, once a week or so).

I tried the Sleep With Me podcast mentioned by @noblepath. It sort of helped. I kind of like the experience of it, the mindlessness, but I didn't continue past the second night.

It did give me the idea to just run a youtube video of rain sounds on my tv though, a lot better than what I used to do (leave netflix on some rewatches I know by heart). This is the one I'm currently enjoying: https://youtu.be/_x3hVRSIe2g

I've seen a few posts about sharing issues, but I don't think anything about habits. I'm former "quantitative-self" hobbyist (if you want to call it that), keener and have a side interest in psychiatry. So in my personal life I'm very active and serious about my own short and long-term mental health. I'm wondering if anyone shares my habits or has others I have not considered. I wont link any literature because there is a lot out there to support most of these habits and I can't make this exhaustive (but I'm happy to help find specific resources).

Morning quiet time. I wake up early and spend about an hour drinking tea, looking outside and reading. The major benefit here is it gives me a buffer before the start of the day. I used to get up and rush out of the door - I would be stressed from the start and wouldn't have an idea of how to go about my day effectively.

Reading fiction. I used to read a lot more non-fiction (pop sci and "self-help") but I found with fiction (and also biographies) not only is it generally easier content to process, but the narratives can be therapeutic. There is something about getting exposed to other peoples thought processes (real or not) and overcoming of challenges that can be comforting or inspiring when facing your own.

Aerobic exercise. And also anything exhaustive - as in you gave it all of your energy. The general health benefits are obviously well established at this point. But, a subjective (AFAIK) experience of mine is the feeling of self-actualization - a sense of victory and fulfillment you can get almost anytime anywhere, and fairly frequently.

Regular social contact. Specifically AFK/face-to-face. This seems banal but it's really not. I make a serious active effort here - I think about who I haven't seen in a while, who I might feel like would complement or share my vibes right now or near future and make plans ASAP. This among the most important of my habits, or at least has the most therapeutic effect. Something about social interactions, even if they're just about talking shit, can be therapeutic and energizing. And this is coming from someone who is generally an introvert and would usually prefer to stay home.

Restrict social media. I probably don't need to explain this one. But I'll also add that, after following the advice of someone on Tildes (sorry I can't find the post!) limiting my news source to only the Current Events of Wikipedia has done wonders for me! I've stayed informed and have avoided the anxiety-inducing clusterfucks of newstainment. I group this with social media because they're so close nowadays (gossip?).

Meditation. Big one right here. I've been practicing for ~7 years now, and it's very noticeable when I skip a 20 min session a few days in a row - I become more agitated, short tempered and anxious (is depressed, but mainly just too focused on myself either way). Specifically "mindfulness" (loose term) or Vipassanā style (I use and highly recommend Waking Up). Style here is important because they all exercise different neural pathways. The product of this practice 1) being much more aware of what has emotionally triggered me and 2) being more able to let go/resolve of negative states of mind. E.g. instead of grinding my teeth with a negative thought train the past 3 hours I notice it's all petty within a moment or two and am able to move on and focus on my task at hand and later sleep soundly.

Psychedelics. Namely the tried-and-true classics. This one is finally getting the attention it deserves in the public domain. As opposed to the others which I do on a near-daily basis (aim for daily), psychedelic experiences I limit to only a handful of times per year because 1) it's work, it requires planning and a day or two off; 2) the positive/resolving effects last for months/years/lifetime; and 3) it requires integration with you baseline reality life to really be effective.
This one hands down has provided me the most benefit out of all and has inspired me to actively pursue everything above, especially meditation and social life. Specifically, it's the perspective you can get from a psychedelic experience that can be like years of therapy because it's all internally-motivated - you can get an objective perspective on you own life that no one else can offer and one you normally would not accept, especially if it's self-critical.
For best results I do this with close friends, at home and/or in nature - taking long walks by the river or woods. Sometimes quiet time at some point as well, to allow self-reflection, taking a moment for an honest review and check in.

after a month sabbatical, we're back. this is pretty straightforward, i think: vent your experiences or things you need to get off your chest/share whatever you've found helps you mentally/etc.

resources that might also be of some benefit to people:

• there is, as always, the invaluable list of country hotlines maintained by /r/SuicideWatch
• https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/ ("an online source of information for persons seeking treatment facilities in the United States or U.S. Territories for substance abuse/addiction and/or mental health problems")
• https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/ (probably one of the best resources for finding a therapist)
• https://psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms (ditto, with finding a psychiatrist)
• https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/index.shtml (covers some of the major mental disorders, their symptoms and treatments, and general topics like that)
• https://www.mentalhealth.gov/what-to-look-for (what symptoms to look for for major mental disorders)
• https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/ (US specific, but also covers ways you can help yourself and a bunch of ways to seek treatment or support)
• there's also some stuff over at /r/SWResources that might be worth checking out which is consistently updated.

and here is the june thread if you'd like to reference/update us on something you mentioned there.

a couple of people have commented on this thread being helpful for them since tildes is a pretty welcoming community and this thread seems like something that would be nice to make regular anyways, so let's do that. this is pretty straightforward, i think: vent your experiences or things you need to get off your chest/share whatever you've found helps you mentally/etc.

resources that might also be of some benefit to you, since i have a list i informally maintain (s/o to cfabbro also for supplementing this list):

• there is, as always, the invaluable list of country hotlines maintained by /r/SuicideWatch
• https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/ ("an online source of information for persons seeking treatment facilities in the United States or U.S. Territories for substance abuse/addiction and/or mental health problems")
• https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/ (probably one of the best resources for finding a therapist)
• https://psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms (ditto, with finding a psychiatrist)
• https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/index.shtml (covers some of the major mental disorders, their symptoms and treatments, and general topics like that)
• https://www.mentalhealth.gov/what-to-look-for (what symptoms to look for for major mental disorders)
• https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/ (US specific, but also covers ways you can help yourself and a bunch of ways to seek treatment or support)
• there's also some stuff over at /r/SWResources that might be worth checking out which is consistently updated.

also going to toss this one up before i go to sleep this morning. this is pretty straightforward, i think: vent your experiences or things you need to get off your chest/share whatever you've found helps you mentally/etc.

resources that might also be of some benefit to people:

• there is, as always, the invaluable list of country hotlines maintained by /r/SuicideWatch
• https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/ ("an online source of information for persons seeking treatment facilities in the United States or U.S. Territories for substance abuse/addiction and/or mental health problems")
• https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/ (probably one of the best resources for finding a therapist)
• https://psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms (ditto, with finding a psychiatrist)
• https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/index.shtml (covers some of the major mental disorders, their symptoms and treatments, and general topics like that)
• https://www.mentalhealth.gov/what-to-look-for (what symptoms to look for for major mental disorders)
• https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/ (US specific, but also covers ways you can help yourself and a bunch of ways to seek treatment or support)
• there's also some stuff over at /r/SWResources that might be worth checking out which is consistently updated.

and here is the may thread if you'd like to reference/update us on something you mentioned there.

I was curious if there are others on this site who struggle with mood disorders and what coping mechanisms are used. I myself was diagnosed bipolarII and have struggled with anxiety / depression for my entire life. Initially I sought relief in medication and therapy but over the last several years have had great success with a variety of coping mechanisms. Specifically each morning I try to ensure I do several 'feel goods' that include:

1. questions - "what am I happy/proud/grateful about? Why? How does that make me feel" and "Who do I love, who loves me, how does that make me feel?"
2. Review core beliefs / positive affirmations that I keep on my google drive. Few examples: "I can weather any storm", "Failure is just feedback the current approach isn't working", "I am responsible for everything in my life"
3. Journaling about feelings, what's happened.
4. Meditation - 20-30 minutes following the breath

I also find that keeping a regular sleep schedule, exercise routine, and scheduling a couple social events a week helps. I have learned drinking and other substance is especially damaging for me so I try my best to avoid as much as possible. I still cycle through depression and hypomania rather rapidly but these things help mitigate those highs and lows.

What do you do to cope?

I've noticed a lot of people in introductory threads mentioning their mental health issues and a sizeable number of people who took the survey indicated they consider themselves mentally ill. I myself have been dealing with depression for about 16 years.

Without a search function it's hard to tell if this is a repost, but I figured I'd give it a go and see if anyone out there is in need of some support. If you need someone to talk to, consider this thread a support group and I will be here to lean on. :)