It seems clear this is still very difficult for him. It’s a shame that he needs to make this such a public process. But he did something wrong in front of millions and needs to apologize in front...
It seems clear this is still very difficult for him. It’s a shame that he needs to make this such a public process. But he did something wrong in front of millions and needs to apologize in front of millions. I’m also sure I don’t know nearly enough to understand why he did what he did. The YouTube comments claim reading his autobiography would make that more clear.
Not the worst apology, but comes off a bit as him being sorry for how people perceived and reacted to what he did as opposed to being sorry for what he actually did.
Not the worst apology, but comes off a bit as him being sorry for how people perceived and reacted to what he did as opposed to being sorry for what he actually did.
We aren't Chris Rock and I'm not impacted, but public actions have public consequences even if they're diffuse. "Deserve" is sort of a loaded term, but I think if I was in Will Smith's position...
We aren't Chris Rock and I'm not impacted, but public actions have public consequences even if they're diffuse. "Deserve" is sort of a loaded term, but I think if I was in Will Smith's position I'd probably want to publicly apologize.
I'd bet lots of women with hair loss had a span of getting mocked from it getting elevated to the national conscious. Probably half the people I knew in college that did stand-up had pretty bad anxiety and thinking about copycats definitely wouldn't help.
His son tweeting, "That's how we do it" buys into the sort of honor culture and normalization of violence that makes revenge a necessity in gangs, whoopings the right way to raise a kid, and men picking fights for partners who don't want that.
Jaden didn't grow up in that environment and Will Smith isn't going to jail, but he's a celebrity and he knows he has influence. I've got no strong opinions about whether it was a good apology or if one is deserved, but I don't think anything but a public-facing statement makes sense for him if that's the sort of impact he regrets.
A Black friend remarked to me that he personally dislikes that sort of tacit endorsement of honor culture and violence from/among Black men. He was disappointed when his barber (also Black) told...
His son tweeting, "That's how we do it" buys into the sort of honor culture and normalization of violence that makes revenge a necessity in gangs, whoopings the right way to raise a kid, and men picking fights for partners who don't want that.
A Black friend remarked to me that he personally dislikes that sort of tacit endorsement of honor culture and violence from/among Black men. He was disappointed when his barber (also Black) told him that he full-heartedly supported Will Smith's actions.
These actions individually aren't super serious, but like flowing water carving through rock together they normalize behaviors.
Not saying we do. But in any case like I said this didn't feel to me like an effective apology to anyone (deserving or not). More of a... I dunno, plea for pity? Like believe me I'm not a bad guy...
Not saying we do. But in any case like I said this didn't feel to me like an effective apology to anyone (deserving or not). More of a... I dunno, plea for pity? Like believe me I'm not a bad guy so please start liking me again? But packaged up and presented as if it were a public apology. I'm not sure there's anything he can do to fix his image at this point, but I'm pretty sure this video and the obvious, shameless astro-turfing going on in its YouTube comments are not going to do him any favors.
I think you feel a lot like I do about the situation, which means the apology wasn't for us, which means to me that I don't really feel like I should have an opinion about what he said in the...
I think you feel a lot like I do about the situation, which means the apology wasn't for us, which means to me that I don't really feel like I should have an opinion about what he said in the video. It's meant for a different audience.
It's strange to me that we use celebrities as a vehicle for morality exploration. This apology has headlined in nearly every publication. From my perspective it's one of the least important things...
It's strange to me that we use celebrities as a vehicle for morality exploration. This apology has headlined in nearly every publication. From my perspective it's one of the least important things that's happened in the world today (I watched it too though).
He's a talented performer who many of us have bonded with by staring at close ups of his face while he has convincing emotions for hours at a time. We're wired to respond to that.
I wish we could recognize that emotional hack for what it is and realize that anything we feel as a result is a stage trick. Will Smith isn't important, he's just a random guy who did a dumb thing while a lot of people were watching.
The fact that his apology is headline news is mostly harmless I suppose, but I believe celebrity worship (and everything that goes along with it) is damaging to the overall wellbeing of humanity. It sells a collection of unfulfilling values that people, from a young age, absorb without necessarily realizing it's happening.
I'm not sure it's that simple. From a certain perspective, it doesn't even matter if he's been completely coached on what to say by a PR agency and has rehearsed how to portray these emotions....
I wish we could recognize that emotional hack for what it is and realize that anything we feel as a result is a stage trick.
I'm not sure it's that simple. From a certain perspective, it doesn't even matter if he's been completely coached on what to say by a PR agency and has rehearsed how to portray these emotions. What matters isn't what happens in his brain (though I can imagine great turmoil there ever since the slap), but what happens to collective morality.
Let's face it, the slap itself wasn't a big deal. If Will had slapped Chris behind a Wendy's, no one would give much of a toss. The problem is that millions of people might get the idea that that's how things should go. This apology, even if completely fabricated, helps rectify that. The introspection he did, even if he's just pretending, should get people thinking regardless.
Do we need celebrities for that? I'd hope no; morality, social norms and apologies predate mass media and celebrity status. But celebrities don't exist outside of morality, so they will from time to time become vehicles for morality exploration. A theoretical piece about the morality of slapping someone for insulting someone else is completely irrelevant and boring to most people. That hits a lot harder (heh) if there's a real person, real event being discussed. Add in that morality is often mind-numbingly boring and trivial in constructed scenarios; with all the details of real life that discussion is a lot more interesting.
I thought at first this was a public apology. But really the only person he apologies to is his wife? That isn't an apology, that's a promise to apologize if Chris calls him back. A desire to...
I thought at first this was a public apology. But really the only person he apologies to is his wife?
So I will say to you, Chris, I apologize to you.
That isn't an apology, that's a promise to apologize if Chris calls him back.
I want to apologize to Chris's mother. I want to apologize to Chris's family. Specifically, Tony Rock.
A desire to apologize is not an apology.
I'm sorry, babe.
That's an apology
I'm sorry really isn't sufficient.
Also not an apology
My behavior was unacceptable
He admits he screwed up. But that isn't an apology.
And it really breaks my heart to have stolen and tarnished your moment.
Is he talking about others, or himself here?
I hate when I let people down.
So it, it hurts, it hurts me psychologically and emotionally to know I didn't live up to people's image and impression of me.
I'm trying to be remorseful without being ashamed of myself.
I'm trying not to think of myself as a piece of s***.
I promise you, I am deeply devoted and committed to putting light and love and joy into the world.
And, you know, if you hang on, I promise we'll be able to be friends again.
I don't agree. I don't agree that the words "I'm sorry" magically make something an apology, and "I apologize" somehow is insufficient. There's a lot of good reasons to reject a non-apology, but...
I don't agree. I don't agree that the words "I'm sorry" magically make something an apology, and "I apologize" somehow is insufficient. There's a lot of good reasons to reject a non-apology, but complaining about the words or the tense he used just seems disingenuous to me. Do you think this is some kind of gotcha moment where he says he wants to apologize and then never says the words "I'm sorry", like crossing your fingers or something? To me, "I apologize", "I want to apologize" and "I'm sorry" are semantically identical. *
We can argue whether he hits the mark of a good apology here. Some of it is there, at least in some places. Promising to be better, acknowledging the harm, that kinda stuff. And then it's lacking in other places. Crucially, (imo) it's present in the part where he apologizes to the public. The viewers are not Chris Rock's mom, they're people who look up to Will, or had their idol's moment ruined by him. I think it's not a coincidence that he goes into more detail there. (Doesn't mean I think it's a good apology, but also... I tend not to police people's apologies much.)
* at least if the recipient of the apology is listening. If they're not, there's a difference wrt. the "want to" part.
I think maybe we agree more than we disagree. I think we agree that he is genuinely sorry to drag his wife into the public spotlight over this. He gives a very public apology to his wife. Who he...
I think maybe we agree more than we disagree.
I think we agree that he is genuinely sorry to drag his wife into the public spotlight over this. He gives a very public apology to his wife. Who he talks to on a regular basis. "I'm sorry." Not "I want to say I am sorry to my wife." Just "I'm sorry."
I think we agree that he is genuinely sorry that he publicized his wife's private medical condition. I think we agree he is genuinely sorry he upset his fans, burned bridges in the Hollywood community, ruined his friendship with Tony Rock and upset Chris Rock's mother. I think we agree he wishes he had not punched Chris Rock live during an awards ceremony.
I think we agree that he wants the public to know he will apologize to Chris Rock, when Chris Rock reaches out to him.
I think where we disagree, is if he can give a simple, unqualified, public apology to his wife, why can't he give a simple, unqualified and public apology to Chris Rock. And what does that mean?
He is not apologizing publicly to his wife for the fans. That was a direct, public apology to his wife, for his wife. He surely has said it in private. But he is manning up and publicly repeating the apology. Two simple unqualified words. "I'm sorry." That means something.
I think where we disagree is that his word choice shows he has at best very mixed feelings about punching Chris Rock to defend his wife's honor.
He spent three months carefully crafting this statement presumably with some of the brightest PR minds at his disposal. A number of his movies were cancelled. He isn't getting invited to as many parties. Of course he is publicly apologizing for his inappropriate behavior. But don't his fans simply want him to publicly apologize to Chris Rock? Simply say that slapping Chris Rock was wrong and he is sorry?
Now the one thing I am not sure about, is he presumably is getting advised by some of the brightest lawyers money can also buy. And lawyers are never going to want to admit fault. And as you say, it's not the worst apology out there.
But it's not a public apology to Chris Rock. Personally, I was expecting a genuine public apology to Chris Rock, and publicly admitting that physically defending your wife's honor is never acceptable. Clearly he isn't there.
Maybe not, but an apology without regret is just a hollow call/response. I'd rather have a poorly worded expression of regret than an empty apology. I agree this wasn't the best apology ever, but...
Regret is not an apology
Maybe not, but an apology without regret is just a hollow call/response. I'd rather have a poorly worded expression of regret than an empty apology.
I agree this wasn't the best apology ever, but its still hitting above the average "I'm sorry you feel that way" non-apology.
It seems clear this is still very difficult for him. It’s a shame that he needs to make this such a public process. But he did something wrong in front of millions and needs to apologize in front of millions. I’m also sure I don’t know nearly enough to understand why he did what he did. The YouTube comments claim reading his autobiography would make that more clear.
There was something about how he always wished he could defend his mother against his father. Which is what I’ve largely seen brought up.
Not the worst apology, but comes off a bit as him being sorry for how people perceived and reacted to what he did as opposed to being sorry for what he actually did.
We aren't the victims here, are we? Why do we deserve an apology?
We aren't Chris Rock and I'm not impacted, but public actions have public consequences even if they're diffuse. "Deserve" is sort of a loaded term, but I think if I was in Will Smith's position I'd probably want to publicly apologize.
I'd bet lots of women with hair loss had a span of getting mocked from it getting elevated to the national conscious. Probably half the people I knew in college that did stand-up had pretty bad anxiety and thinking about copycats definitely wouldn't help.
His son tweeting, "That's how we do it" buys into the sort of honor culture and normalization of violence that makes revenge a necessity in gangs, whoopings the right way to raise a kid, and men picking fights for partners who don't want that.
Jaden didn't grow up in that environment and Will Smith isn't going to jail, but he's a celebrity and he knows he has influence. I've got no strong opinions about whether it was a good apology or if one is deserved, but I don't think anything but a public-facing statement makes sense for him if that's the sort of impact he regrets.
A Black friend remarked to me that he personally dislikes that sort of tacit endorsement of honor culture and violence from/among Black men. He was disappointed when his barber (also Black) told him that he full-heartedly supported Will Smith's actions.
These actions individually aren't super serious, but like flowing water carving through rock together they normalize behaviors.
Not saying we do. But in any case like I said this didn't feel to me like an effective apology to anyone (deserving or not). More of a... I dunno, plea for pity? Like believe me I'm not a bad guy so please start liking me again? But packaged up and presented as if it were a public apology. I'm not sure there's anything he can do to fix his image at this point, but I'm pretty sure this video and the obvious, shameless astro-turfing going on in its YouTube comments are not going to do him any favors.
I think you feel a lot like I do about the situation, which means the apology wasn't for us, which means to me that I don't really feel like I should have an opinion about what he said in the video. It's meant for a different audience.
It's strange to me that we use celebrities as a vehicle for morality exploration. This apology has headlined in nearly every publication. From my perspective it's one of the least important things that's happened in the world today (I watched it too though).
He's a talented performer who many of us have bonded with by staring at close ups of his face while he has convincing emotions for hours at a time. We're wired to respond to that.
I wish we could recognize that emotional hack for what it is and realize that anything we feel as a result is a stage trick. Will Smith isn't important, he's just a random guy who did a dumb thing while a lot of people were watching.
The fact that his apology is headline news is mostly harmless I suppose, but I believe celebrity worship (and everything that goes along with it) is damaging to the overall wellbeing of humanity. It sells a collection of unfulfilling values that people, from a young age, absorb without necessarily realizing it's happening.
I'm not sure it's that simple. From a certain perspective, it doesn't even matter if he's been completely coached on what to say by a PR agency and has rehearsed how to portray these emotions. What matters isn't what happens in his brain (though I can imagine great turmoil there ever since the slap), but what happens to collective morality.
Let's face it, the slap itself wasn't a big deal. If Will had slapped Chris behind a Wendy's, no one would give much of a toss. The problem is that millions of people might get the idea that that's how things should go. This apology, even if completely fabricated, helps rectify that. The introspection he did, even if he's just pretending, should get people thinking regardless.
Do we need celebrities for that? I'd hope no; morality, social norms and apologies predate mass media and celebrity status. But celebrities don't exist outside of morality, so they will from time to time become vehicles for morality exploration. A theoretical piece about the morality of slapping someone for insulting someone else is completely irrelevant and boring to most people. That hits a lot harder (heh) if there's a real person, real event being discussed. Add in that morality is often mind-numbingly boring and trivial in constructed scenarios; with all the details of real life that discussion is a lot more interesting.
I thought at first this was a public apology. But really the only person he apologies to is his wife?
That isn't an apology, that's a promise to apologize if Chris calls him back.
A desire to apologize is not an apology.
That's an apology
Also not an apology
He admits he screwed up. But that isn't an apology.
Is he talking about others, or himself here?
Himself. Clearly. Regret is not an apology.
I don't agree. I don't agree that the words "I'm sorry" magically make something an apology, and "I apologize" somehow is insufficient. There's a lot of good reasons to reject a non-apology, but complaining about the words or the tense he used just seems disingenuous to me. Do you think this is some kind of gotcha moment where he says he wants to apologize and then never says the words "I'm sorry", like crossing your fingers or something? To me, "I apologize", "I want to apologize" and "I'm sorry" are semantically identical. *
We can argue whether he hits the mark of a good apology here. Some of it is there, at least in some places. Promising to be better, acknowledging the harm, that kinda stuff. And then it's lacking in other places. Crucially, (imo) it's present in the part where he apologizes to the public. The viewers are not Chris Rock's mom, they're people who look up to Will, or had their idol's moment ruined by him. I think it's not a coincidence that he goes into more detail there. (Doesn't mean I think it's a good apology, but also... I tend not to police people's apologies much.)
* at least if the recipient of the apology is listening. If they're not, there's a difference wrt. the "want to" part.
I think maybe we agree more than we disagree.
I think we agree that he is genuinely sorry to drag his wife into the public spotlight over this. He gives a very public apology to his wife. Who he talks to on a regular basis. "I'm sorry." Not "I want to say I am sorry to my wife." Just "I'm sorry."
I think we agree that he is genuinely sorry that he publicized his wife's private medical condition. I think we agree he is genuinely sorry he upset his fans, burned bridges in the Hollywood community, ruined his friendship with Tony Rock and upset Chris Rock's mother. I think we agree he wishes he had not punched Chris Rock live during an awards ceremony.
I think we agree that he wants the public to know he will apologize to Chris Rock, when Chris Rock reaches out to him.
I think where we disagree, is if he can give a simple, unqualified, public apology to his wife, why can't he give a simple, unqualified and public apology to Chris Rock. And what does that mean?
He is not apologizing publicly to his wife for the fans. That was a direct, public apology to his wife, for his wife. He surely has said it in private. But he is manning up and publicly repeating the apology. Two simple unqualified words. "I'm sorry." That means something.
I think where we disagree is that his word choice shows he has at best very mixed feelings about punching Chris Rock to defend his wife's honor.
He spent three months carefully crafting this statement presumably with some of the brightest PR minds at his disposal. A number of his movies were cancelled. He isn't getting invited to as many parties. Of course he is publicly apologizing for his inappropriate behavior. But don't his fans simply want him to publicly apologize to Chris Rock? Simply say that slapping Chris Rock was wrong and he is sorry?
Now the one thing I am not sure about, is he presumably is getting advised by some of the brightest lawyers money can also buy. And lawyers are never going to want to admit fault. And as you say, it's not the worst apology out there.
But it's not a public apology to Chris Rock. Personally, I was expecting a genuine public apology to Chris Rock, and publicly admitting that physically defending your wife's honor is never acceptable. Clearly he isn't there.
Maybe not, but an apology without regret is just a hollow call/response. I'd rather have a poorly worded expression of regret than an empty apology.
I agree this wasn't the best apology ever, but its still hitting above the average "I'm sorry you feel that way" non-apology.
"I will say" and "I want to say" are not automatically and immediately hypotheticals instead of present statements, that's not how language works.