Private school - worthwhile/good idea for not rich people?

As others have said it isn't clear what region you're referring to, however, here's my perspective from going to private schools in the US.

My mom was certain that private schools would provide a better education and environment than public schools in the area. All of the private schools around there were backed by a church or religion, and the ones I went to were Christian. My parents were not religious and didn't have any interest in converting, it was purely their opinion on the educational value.

All in all, I went to 4 different private schools from Kindergarten to 8th grade. Class sizes were incredibly small, and the entire school population was also very small. In one of the early ones, I recall there being 3 boys and 17 girls in my grade, and there were no other classes for that grade.

Educational perspective: It's hard to say for the early grades, but the teachers seemed more interested in teaching. I do recall the textbooks were different for the sake of being different, as they were all religious. (Believe it or not, there are even Christian math textbooks.) The science curriculum was missing anything that didn't align with the religion, so I never had formal education on the big bang, etc. I think the biggest benefit was the smaller class sizes. In middle school (7th & 8th grade) where there were multiple instructors for each subject, I remember struggling with some of the subjects. I was told unexpectedly that I would skip Pre-Algebra and go straight to Algebra I. The gym teacher also taught the Algebra I class, and I quickly became lost, but struggled my way through it. I have severe test anxiety around math, which is linked to this failure of the school to identify that I shouldn't be skipping a grade. You also end up losing valuable school time with the various religious aspects - mandatory bible class, chapel service at least once a week.

Social perspective: When you're in such a small class, you end up becoming friends with everyone, mostly. But on the other side of it, very few of those friendships survived when I transferred schools. There were never any situations where I felt "unsafe" - but it did help support my mom's goal of having me grow up in a bubble.

Financial perspective: I don't think any of these "pros" made it worth the cost. I'm still floored that my mom invested so much money into it. Not only for the cost of the school itself, but also the after-school "daycare" because my mom worked until after 5pm - that had an additional hourly cost. They also try to guilt kids into convincing their families to tithe 10% to the associated church. And even though they charge tuition, they also still hold fundraising events.

I can talk about charter schools too, if you're interested.

High quality schools (either private or public) can make a big difference in your child's life, but they aren't a panacea. Whether to send your kids to private school should depend on your values and financial situation.

Ihmo, if you're going to spend $$$ on a high quality education, then pay for elementary school. By the time kids hit highschool, their learning habits are hard to change. The kinds of kids who get the most from a fancy secondary education are the same ones who would succeed at a good mid-tier school.

What context is this? I know that "public" schools in the UK can be very different (like, full on Harry Potter).

For my part, I was in a private school for a while in the US, and in retrospect it was a good environment. The main difference is that the school populace is just much, much more well mannered. Kids paid attention in class. People cared about their grades. No one wore a tophat or anything.

In your first sentence, do you mean “private” school?

I will be interested to hear what others say.

My general expectation is that many private schools are academically better, but possibly with some blinders due to differing experiences.

Edit:

More succinctly, I guess, is that with public schools around me I would expect to be helping my kid after school with subject material, and with private school I would be helping after with social material.

I went to a private school from 4th to 6th grade -- about age 9 to 11. I believe the reason I went there was because my parents clashed with my public school over my 3rd grade teacher, who I remember yelling a lot.

Overall it was a positive experience for me. It was an Episcopal school (though my family were not Christians), and the class sizes were very small (only 10 kids in my entire grade by the last year I was there), and although we attended chapel in the mornings three days out of the week, I never felt like I was being pushed to believe a certain way. I also remember a fairly comprehensive sex ed class in my last year there, much better than what I've heard about from Catholic private schools, for instance.

Because of the small class sizes, education felt more informal and individual needs were more easily taken into account. This was probably pretty beneficial for me as a very much undiagnosed neurodivergent. At the same time, however, I never made any real friends there, though the other kids were mostly pretty nice. There were never any behavior issues from the kids in my class, and everyone wanted to do well and thought of academic success as a goal rather than something to sneer at. Though they didn't go out of their way to understand outsiders or weird kids, there was also generally no bullying (aside from one girl I could never figure out, but honestly she was harmless). After my time there, I went back into public school from 7th grade on, and although I did okay for a while in that less understanding environment, by 12th grade I felt like I had kept crashing and burning for a few years (although there were other things going on in my life that also had significant impacts on this).

Was it actually worth it though? Honestly, it's very hard for me to plumb those memories enough to tell. I don't think the education quality was significantly better than public school, though I also don't think it was worse. I don't remember any field trips, although we had school events that were fun, if homey and humble. We didn't have a school-provided lunch other than a "hot lunch" system, in which you could pay in advance each month for to have catered delivery from fast food restaurants on chosen days (I remember spending my allowance a few times on getting Popeye's or something). I'm not sure where the tuition money was coming from, though I have a vague idea that my grandparents (who were well off) sent money to help out. But even though the memories in general were positive for me, this was elementary school, so it was still easy enough that I don't think I would have been struggling in public school yet, if I actually had non-abusive teachers. (To be fair, the ones I had before grade 3 were lovely.)

I guess, from my own experience, I would say it was only worth it if your kid is struggling in their public school for whatever reason and needs a significant change of pace. And that depends on finding a private school that isn't clique-ish or plays too fast and loose with curriculum (especially science or religious studies) for your comfort. That really seems like it would be such a case-by-case basis.

Predictably, a lot of responses so far are focusing on the quality of the education. Private (or public in the English sense of the term; a paid for school rather than a government funded one) can be 'better' quality wise. Not guaranteed though. And really not the thing I think matters most.

Networking is what matters. Life success comes from who you know, not what. Sure there's base levels of 'competence' in any field, from construction to fiance, entertainment to retail. Anything. But there's base, then there's brilliant.

The most base guy, who's friends with the right people, that's who's likely to advance. That's who gets the great jobs, the cushy office, the big success. The brilliant guy, odds are they'll probably manage to be comfortable if their brilliance is in something that pays well, but successful? Like, wildly and easily successful? More of a dice roll. Not a penalty, not a disadvantage, but not a sure thing.

Knowing the right people? That's more of a sure thing. Looking for a job? You're better off if you have friends who can help. Need a promotion? Same thing. Need help with an initiative or charity, a program, even just moving a body? Know the right people, it's more of a sure thing.

Private school, if your kids know to (and can) make the right friends there, that can set them up for life. Same for college/university. Sure the degree's nice. The degree isn't an anchor that'll drag them down, far from it. But if they hang out in the right college circles, make the right college friends, that's what sets them up for success.

Of course, this all depends on being able to make those friends. Horse, lead, water, drink, that old tale. Some people are just wallflowers, so the best they could hope for in this context is competence as their calling card. But if they have enough charisma, innate or manufactured, to become a childhood (or college) pal of people from useful families, who go on to do useful things ... there's a reason Alumni and Fraternity/Sorority networks are so valuable.

Basically what I'm saying is sure going to Oxford or Harvard is good. Beneficial. But going those schools and coming out of them with the phone numbers of the right folks who'll return your calls is worth ten times what the degree is. Same for education before university.

Right now the kid's four best school friends might just be pals, but later in life they could turn out to be people who can be helpful at the right times. That's what'll matter more than "oh, the school's ratings were top notch."

ps: and in case I wasn't clear, I'm assuming a private school is more likely to have the 'right' people attending. People who become useful to know because of their and their families' influence. The more the school costs, the more likely it probably is they're going to be able to help a pal if they want to.

We were solidly middle-class growing up and my parents really wrenched their budget in order for us to attend paid/private primary school; I attended a free/public secondary school.

As other commenters have mentioned, while the teachers are often better, private curricula are often the same or worse. The single biggest benefit of paid school, therefore, is that few families who don't value education will bother to pay the tuition for a private school. This means that you're far more likely to be surrounded by other students who value education and want to succeed.

This is always important, but far more so in primary school. By the time you're in secondary school, you have a much greater ability to choose your friend group and what you value. For that reason I think it's rarely worthwhile to use college funds to pay for secondary education - but I would use college funds to pay for primary education without question.

Paid school tends to have a much more intelligent (on average) student body, in part because more intelligent people tend to be more successful and can therefore afford to pay tuition for their children.

Speaking from my own experience it's worth it. I went to a private school until the 8th grade and that was essentially all the education I needed. My curiousity wasn't beaten out of me and I learned how to learn. Public high school, by contrast, was both easy and boring. More people was nice but I wouldn't call it education. It's just checking boxes on the way to something else.

More people in my class went on to have successful and fulfilling lives than what I imagine the average to be. However, we were lucky. There were amazing teachers, some of which retired either while we were there or shortly after. The class three years behind us had a very different experience and outcomes.

Which is to say if there's a great school available to you, it's absolutely worth it, but it's definitely an 'if'. Finding and retaining great teachers isn't easy.

At the same time, as an adult having witnessed public school mercilessly rob kids of their love of learning multiple times, it's a very low bar.

I believe the pervasive idea that education is a college and career pipeline, rather than an exploration of the world, is shortsighted and self defeating (from the perspective of a nation). This is an US-centric perspective though, in some places they seem to do a much better job.