Shall we have a jokes thread?
Based on what I saw, and that user's follow up post, it doesn't seem like jokes are an unwelcome idea per se, but rather the goal is to promote discussion over low effort meme posts and one liners (I wholly support this), so shall tildes, tell me some of your favorite jokes! Dad jokes, mom jokes, dark (not racist) jokes, long and short form, what are your favorites? I prefer darker humor myself, but I'm not sure what's appropriate quite yet as far as this community is concerned...
A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while. Eventually he returns home and he is now a Christian. The man finds this to be odd and mentions it to his friend.
The friend listens, thinks for a moment and says, "That's odd. I sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian." So the two of them went to see the Rabbi.
They told the Rabbi the story of how they had both sent their sons to Israel as Jews, and how both sons had returned as Christians. The Rabbi listened, thought for a minute and then said "That's odd. I also sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian."
So the three of them decide to go to Israel to find out what's going on over there. The arrive and go straight to the Western Wall to pray. They explain to God all about how they sent their sons to Israel as Jews and how the all returned as Christians."
There is a long silence, and then God begins to speak saying, "That's odd..."
.... I dont get it. Am I dumb? I'm ok with being dumb, there's a lot I don't know, but I don't it haha.
Think about who God's son would be and the joke opens up
To provide a plainer and blunter explanation, all of the three men had their sons change from Judaism to Christianity, right? So they decide to pray to god for advice. According to the bible, god has a son, his name is jesus, and he was the original founder of Christianity, along with being sent by god to sacrifice for everyone else's sin. So the joke is, god also sent his son to israel, and he came back a christian, just like with the other three men :P
Ohhh... I get it. Sorry lol just drilled into my head Jesus was a jew so I missed it haha
Yeah in fairness, Jesus wasn't really a Christian since one can't be a disciple of oneself.
I have a family member that's big into positive self-talk. He often tells us that he is his own God.
I read a dark joke today that I loved. Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because he wasn't born yesterday.
Ayyyyy dark jokes!
What's worse than sleeping with your grandmother?
Not waiting for the funeral service to end.
When going through resumes I always like to throw half of them away.
I wouldn't want unlucky working for my company.
Are all of the jokes in this thread supposed to be tagged as jokes?
That one got me. Well played.
Robert Fripp walks into a bar and sees three drummers. He mutters to himself, "That's not nearly enough" and decides to tour again.
L2T mod jokes. :/
At least this one is structured such that it’s understandable even without knowing who Robert Fripp is though.
p.s. I assume the massive list of ‘past members’ on the King Crimson wiki page is full of a fair amount of drummers? :P
As an explanation, after Robert Fripp's brief retirement in Aug. 2012 he announced that the new formulation of King Crimson (a.k.a., the 7-Headed Beast) which featured 3 drummers.
I saw that lineup, it was a good time, but I thought to myself surely 3 drummers is enough!
Not so, declared Fripp. Only four shall do!
And thus, a shitty L2T mod joke was born :p
edit: and yes, there have been an ungodly number of drummers in KC over the years
King Crimson tours with multiple drummers playing at a time, it really creates an interesting soundscape.
Unfortunately Fripp takes just about everything posted on YouTube down, but I'll see if I can find an example later when I'm not om mobile for you :^)
Here's a clip with a measly 3 drummers :P
Maths jokes time:
Those are great!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, "Give me a beer." The second says, "I'll have a half a beer." The third says, "A quarter of a beer, please." The bartender pours two beers and says, "Come on, people. Know your limits."
horse walks into a bar. sits down. orders a drink.
bar tender says, "why the long face?"
horse says, "cancer"
two blondes walk into a bar, the third one ducks
a guy an a young girl are walking through the forest at night. they walk for a long time. the little girl tugs on his jacket and says "its so dark, im scared". the guy says, "how do you think i feel, i gotta walk outta here alone"
biggest cause of paedophilia? sexy children
I always liked the variant of your third joke that has a kid and a clown, with the clown saying "I gotta walk back by myself".
Why are peppers the most annoying fruit?
They get jalapeño face!
Here's an original joke I posted to r/jokes on reddit a while back:
The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge...
They only have periodic tables.