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  • Showing only topics with the tag "mental health". Back to normal view
    1. For those that aren't familiar with it, Kind Words is a recently released "game" where players can write a message about a difficulty they're facing or something that's troubling them. Other real...

      For those that aren't familiar with it, Kind Words is a recently released "game" where players can write a message about a difficulty they're facing or something that's troubling them. Other real people in the game can then respond, letting that person know that they're not alone. Players can also write un-addressed messages of positivity in the game, which are spread to other users via paper airplanes.

      I figured we could have a thread on Tildes with our own version of the game via comments.

      Here's how I figure it will work. We'll have three post types:

      Request: share your situation in order to get kind words in response
      Response: offer kind words to other people who have posted here
      Airplane: write general thoughts of goodwill for all the readers of the thread

      Please begin your post by naming its type in bold font. For those posing Requests, please let people know if you would rather receive public responses or PMs.

      Example post:

      Request: Sometimes I find myself wondering if there's any point to anything. It feels like I'm working so hard at meaningless stuff, just to get by. Anyone else feel this way?

      That isn't my request, just an example of what someone might type.

      Remember that the point of the thread is to let people know that they are heard and that they are not alone!

      Let's all be kind!

      25 votes
    2. after a month sabbatical, we're back. this is pretty straightforward, i think: vent your experiences or things you need to get off your chest/share whatever you've found helps you mentally/etc....

      after a month sabbatical, we're back. this is pretty straightforward, i think: vent your experiences or things you need to get off your chest/share whatever you've found helps you mentally/etc.


      resources that might also be of some benefit to people:


      and here is the june thread if you'd like to reference/update us on something you mentioned there.

      15 votes
    3. My social anxiety

      So recently I have been wondering if there's actually a way to lessen my social anxiety, because I am starting to feel really stupid quite often because of it. This is gonna be a rant, hopefully a...

      So recently I have been wondering if there's actually a way to lessen my social anxiety, because I am starting to feel really stupid quite often because of it. This is gonna be a rant, hopefully a bit coherent, probably not the most high quality content, because I am terrible at writing. Premature thank you to anyone who reads this mess I am about to produce.

      To start of, I will try to describe how I feel, because I am not sure if I really have social anxiety. I am like extremely anxious to do anything where you have to talk to people you don't know. An easy example which I deal with most work days is going out to lunch. I am way too anxious to go to lunch somewhere so instead I just skip lunch quite often to not have to deal with it. When I am at school most of the times I go to a menza (is that a thing in english? it's like just a school lunch cafeteria), which isn't a problem at all when I go with my friends and isn't too much of a problem when I go alone, because I got used to it pretty good. Still even here I sometimes skip lunch, particularly after a stressful day. When I am just at work I quite often just go the whole day without lunch and wait until I get home to eat something. Sometimes I go to some fast food, that I know pretty well, but I don't want to go there too often, because I don't want to be that weirdo who eats every day in the same fast food. I don't want to go to a restaurant because who eats at a restaurant alone. I know that people do and it's normal, but I really don't want to.

      There are other things where I have similar problems, giving presentations (probably everyone hates that), having to ask someone where something is when I am lost in a new place and so on. One of the things I really hate is when I have to go to deal with some bureocracy - renewing any of my documents, talking to HR at work and things like that. Most of the time when I know I will have to do something like this, I spend the whole day before that stressing about it. I love to live my day to day life in as much monotony as I can, so I can be ready for everything.

      Or today, I am going to have some team building with my colleagues, we are gonna go play laser game (apparently called laser tag in english - according to Wikipedia) and to say the least I really don't want to. This should be a fun thing everyone enjoys and instead I am here, thinking about how could I make a excuse to not have to do it. Why am I so stupid and don't just let myself enjoy it like a normal person?

      Also every time when I think about doing something about this, I just tell myself that I don't have it that bad and that other people have it way worse than me. That I don't really have that many problems and I shouldn't be whining about something as minor as this. That I should just bottle it up and leave it as it is, because it could be worse, right?

      This has been going on basically my whole life, most of the time when I talk about it with friends I make fun of it, making my friends think it's probably not as bad as it is. I just say stuff like "oh no, I have to talk to people tommorow, please help" or "can you guys go to lunch with me even though you guys are at the opposite end of the city, because I am scared?" obviously as a joke, but I really kind of feel like this (and wish my friends go have lunch with me). I really feel I should start doing something about it, but I am not really sure what. The answer is probably to just do stuff like this more, get out of my comfort zone and just do the stuff. How can I make myself though, if I really don't want to?

      There should be some conclusion or question here, I guess... does anyone have any recommandations for me?

      Edit: also couldn't decide on the title, maybe "dealing with social anxiety" or something like that is better?

      14 votes
    4. I was reading up on information theory today, and I managed to keep track of everything for a while. But then the information got slippery, and I could feel the muscles in my head tighten. I kept...

      I was reading up on information theory today, and I managed to keep track of everything for a while. But then the information got slippery, and I could feel the muscles in my head tighten. I kept reading, and I lost track of everything. My forehead was so tense I felt it would collapse on itself. By the end of the page, I was exhausted and I closed the book and took a breath. This happens to me every time things get hard. It's like I am lifting weights but I can only do a few reps before I completely crash. If I keep crashing, eventually I'll get a headache that will put me out of commission for the day.

      I'm sharing this because I am curious how others feel when they reach their mental limit, either short term or long term. Does anyone else have a similar physical reaction or any physical reaction?

      17 votes
    5. I practiced and studied Zen meditation in many periods of my life, and it helped me immensely. I find it's philosophy reasonable and compelling: the basic idea of simply doing what's in front of...

      I practiced and studied Zen meditation in many periods of my life, and it helped me immensely.

      I find it's philosophy reasonable and compelling: the basic idea of simply doing what's in front of you. If you have to do the dishes, do the dishes and nothing else. Be full in the act of doing the dishes.

      Zen writing and meditation reduce my anxiety by helping me look at life in a more positive and expontaneous way. Paradoxically, worrying less about results usually gets much better results.

      With that said, I ask:

      • Do you practice any form of meditation? Which one?
      • What was your initial purpose for practicing meditation?
      • Are you still doing it? Why?
      • Do you study the philosophical, scientifical or religious aspects behind your practice?
      25 votes
    6. a couple of people have commented on this thread being helpful for them since tildes is a pretty welcoming community and this thread seems like something that would be nice to make regular...

      a couple of people have commented on this thread being helpful for them since tildes is a pretty welcoming community and this thread seems like something that would be nice to make regular anyways, so let's do that. this is pretty straightforward, i think: vent your experiences or things you need to get off your chest/share whatever you've found helps you mentally/etc.

      resources that might also be of some benefit to you, since i have a list i informally maintain (s/o to cfabbro also for supplementing this list):

      20 votes
    7. also going to toss this one up before i go to sleep this morning. this is pretty straightforward, i think: vent your experiences or things you need to get off your chest/share whatever you've...

      also going to toss this one up before i go to sleep this morning. this is pretty straightforward, i think: vent your experiences or things you need to get off your chest/share whatever you've found helps you mentally/etc.


      resources that might also be of some benefit to people:


      and here is the may thread if you'd like to reference/update us on something you mentioned there.

      16 votes
    8. it's apparently been awhile since we had a proper one of these on tildes (we've had a few mental health related topics but nothing direct like this), and seeing as the site has grown a bit (to say...

      it's apparently been awhile since we had a proper one of these on tildes (we've had a few mental health related topics but nothing direct like this), and seeing as the site has grown a bit (to say the least) since the last one there's probably some utility in a new one of these. share your experiences/whatever you've found helps/etc. i think this is pretty straightforward.

      20 votes
    9. Wasn't sure where to post this. I needed a break, I am a reddit Mod and was hoping to become super active here as well. But, it was taking a bigger impact on my mental health than I knew. I...

      Wasn't sure where to post this.

      I needed a break, I am a reddit Mod and was hoping to become super active here as well. But, it was taking a bigger impact on my mental health than I knew.

      I stopped posting here, on reddit and instagram (really the only platforms I use) and it really helped with my stress levels and even sleep patterns. I read waaaay more books and felt far more focused then I have been in years.

      I dont know if there are any CGP Grey fans here but I am a big fan of his and was inspired by his choice to do the same.

      http://www.cgpgrey.com/blog/cyclops

      Coming back into things I am thinking I will limit myself and try and work on pacing my internet usage.

      Anyway, kind of a random post, but I wanted to share it with someone and I thought our community here would apreciate it (Reddit probably wouldn't).

      59 votes
    10. I'll preface this by saying that I'm a high school student, so obviously I can't be facing any real stress, but it seems real enough to me, anyway. My strategy is usually just to bury it in...

      I'll preface this by saying that I'm a high school student, so obviously I can't be facing any real stress, but it seems real enough to me, anyway. My strategy is usually just to bury it in entertainment, but I see a lot of the people around me turning to using substances like nicotine, weed, or alcohol.

      I don't think any of these are really good options, so I'd like to hear what you guys do.

      22 votes
    11. Hey, I dunno if this is an appropriate place for this, and feel free to take it down if it's too direct/off-topic or what have you. I can't post this on reddit because my mom browses reddit and it...

      Hey, I dunno if this is an appropriate place for this, and feel free to take it down if it's too direct/off-topic or what have you. I can't post this on reddit because my mom browses reddit and it would be painfully obvious.

      So, as some of you may know, Backpage was a website like craigslist that got shut down completely due to complaints/reports of trafficking. In that shutdown, many people lost their jobs, my mother being one of them. My mom received a severance pay, and had to find work. Within that same timeframe, she also broke things off with a man whom she had been dating prior for reasons I still don't know. After having to sell her house, she tried to make it on her own, but then inevitably had to come and live with me and my Dad (Whom she had divorced about 10 years prior)). At some point a year or so ago, she had a nasty fall and hit her head, concussing her. Lately, she seems to be coming unhinged.

      Her behavior started with her continually retroactively accusing my father of cheating on her ~15 years ago on several occasions based off of information she swears happened but cannot corroborate. She has, in recent memory, been known to make false claims and, when presented with proof refuting her claims, to discard said proof and continue to push her claims instead. She has tried to get me to "remember" incidents over 10 years ago where she ran across "women who were his type". On top of that, she has accused my father of going into businesses she has applied for and telling them not to hire her. My dad wants nothing more than for her to get back up on her feet and get going. I have no idea why she would believe this.

      We had another incident where my little sister went downstairs to get something to eat, and used the microwave to prepare it. My mother interjected and told Ali that she shouldn't be using the microwave because she's afraid of the radiation it gives off. My little sister politely told her that that was bullshit and that she isn't worried. My mother then grew angry, told her something along the lines of "Fine, I'm not going to care if you die then", took her phone, and sent her upstairs (We all shave our rooms upstairs and she has her space downstairs, where the guest room is). This isn't the first time she's posited a completely ridiculous and baseless claim/conspiracy/concern, however I hadn't tried to refute it before.

      I texted my Aunt and debriefed her, and she said that she was aware of my mother's mental health declining, and she wanted to help, but I guess she said something my mom didn't like, because my mom has since blocked her on her phone, severing the only means of communication between them (She's 2 states away). My mom seems to keep doing this to people; saying and believing untrue/ridiculous things and becoming increasingly angry and hateful when she is refuted or called out on it. She has severed ties with her Aunt, the sister of my deceased grandmother, who tried to tell her she was wrong after accusing my grandmother of various things she didn't do. She doesn't have any family left that she hasn't pissed off.

      The only person left in my house who she isn't angry at is me, but I am supremely bad at handling these things and would much rather retreat into my room and not come out until it's all over. My girlfriend living with me is trying to provide support as well. This morning, my mother asked me to drop her off at a homeless shelter. She has a bed, food, clothes, a shower and restroom, and WiFi here, but she feels so much that my father is the root of all of her problems that she wants to leave at any cost.

      I don't know what to do now that my mother is slowly and surely losing her goddamn mind and is driving out everyone who loves her when they don't reaffirm her insane delusions and accusations. It hurts to see my father struggling to do something, because he can't just kick out the mother of his children; he still loves the woman he married. We can't tell her she needs to seek help, because that is interpreted as an insult and calling her crazy. I've tried, again and again, to tell her that we are all here to help her and we want the best for her but she seems to discard every good thing I say and pick out the worst, even if I didn't intend any kind of negativity. She's getting to the point where she's beginning to lose her temper with me and I'm afraid that that will be the final nail in the coffin. My father tried calling some place (I believe they specialized in mentally unwell people) and asking for advice, but when he asked them to call my mother and they agreed, my mother got angry at them and accused them of "collecting evidence" for my father. It's out of their hands if she isn't harming herself or others.

      I don't really know what I expect from posting this. Maybe commiseration, maybe sympathy, or advice, but I'm going fucking insane and do not have any prior experience to help me cope with/fix this and I would really appreciate if anybody does and they're willing to share

      21 votes
    12. So I'm doing my GED at the moment and I'm in the same couple of classes this gal. It's only 3 months into the semester and we won't be in the same classes next semester anyway. Nevertheless,...

      So I'm doing my GED at the moment and I'm in the same couple of classes this gal. It's only 3 months into the semester and we won't be in the same classes next semester anyway. Nevertheless, despite it only being 3 months we quickly became acquainted and within the last month or so we've become friends. Last week however, her boyfriend broke up with her and today he kicked her out of his apartment - so she's homeless. And in order to not live on the damn street she's going back to Norway (she's only been here in Denmark for a bit over a year) to live with her family until she can find somewhere to live here - she still has another semester to go until she's done with school here, so it need only be temporary.

      She's leaving tonight and so I asked if she wanted to meet after school today. We did and talked for a couple of hours at a cafe - and it was pretty nice despite her situation being total shit. I'm a really empathetic person in general and I feel all sorts of compassion for her. Simultaneously, despite barely even knowing her (today was the first time we actually hung out, come to think of it), I am gonna miss her like crazy... This is mostly about her because of how much it sucks for her and how bad I feel for her, but I can't help but feel like shit too even though I barely even know her! I can't tell if I have a crush on her or if I just like her as a friend, but who cares anyways - she's gone now and I might not see her again...

      Just had to get this off my chest I guess. I just wish so bad that she didn't have to leave - that I could've gotten to know her more and spent more time with her.

      I'm also trying to follow some advice from a psychologist, because I have borderline personality disorder and basically it means I feel feelings a lot more intensely than the average person. I also haven't been a very social person historically speaking so I find it difficult to navigate relationships and situations like this. So the advice I'm trying to follow is particularly this bit: Instead of ‘I love you with the passion of a thousand fiery suns’ it might be nice to do a small gesture. But it's difficult to not write her on messenger and just say something like "I'm gonna miss you :(" - I know it's stupid to do that and she doesn't feel the same way I do because it's only been like 1 month of actual friendship, but it's genuinely how I feel.

      Wasn't sure if this belongs in ~life or here, so I figured I'd just go with this one. Just had to get this off my chest so that maybe I'll not be dumb and write her something that the overly attached girlfriend meme could have written. I used to be super clingy and it's driven people away in the past so yeah. Anyway, thanks for caring if you read this whole post :)

      22 votes
    13. I recall recently seeing an article posted that was related to euthanasia, and I started thinking about the subject. I see both potential pros and potential cons associated with it. For example,...

      I recall recently seeing an article posted that was related to euthanasia, and I started thinking about the subject. I see both potential pros and potential cons associated with it. For example, there's the concern about family members or authority pressuring an ill person to opt for doctor-assisted suicide to ease financial burdens, for instance. There's also the benefit, on the other hand, of allowing someone who is terminally ill or guaranteed to live the rest of their life in excruciating pain the option to go out on their own terms. With proper oversight and ethical considerations, it generally seems to be an all-around ideal to provide an "opt-out" for those who would only continue to suffer and would rather not prolong it, as a merciful alternative to forcing them to live it out.

      But then there are some trickier questions.

      As a disclaimer, I spent nearly a couple of decades struggling through depression and have been surrounded (and still am surrounded) by people who struggle with their own mental illnesses. Because of this, I'm perfectly aware of the stigma and subpar treatment of mental illness in general. With that in mind, I completely recognize that there are certain conditions which are, at this time, completely untreatable and result in peoples' quality of life deteriorating to the point that they become perpetually miserable, particularly with certain neurodegenerative diseases.

      Thus, the question occurred to me: wouldn't such a condition be the mental health equivalent of a terminal illness? Would it not be unethical to force someone to continue living under conditions in which their quality of life will only diminish? Shouldn't someone who has such a condition, and is either of sound enough mind or with a written statement of their wishes from a time when they were of sound enough mind, be able to make the same decision about whether or not to opt to go out on their own terms?

      And yet, as reasonable as it sounds, for some reason the thought of it feels wrong.

      Is there something fundamentally more wrong about euthanasia for mental health vs. euthanasia for physical health? Is it just a culturally-learned ideal?

      More importantly, what makes euthanasia acceptable in some cases and not others? Which cases do you think exemplify the divide? Is there something more fundamental that we can latch onto? Is there a clear line we can draw? Is psychology itself just too young a field for us to be drawing that ethical line?

      I'm genuinely not sure how to feel about this subject. I would be interested in hearing some other thoughts on the subject. The questions above don't necessarily have to be answered, but I thought they could be good priming points.

      24 votes
    14. [I'm tagging this as "adult", for purposes of open discussion, with apologies to anyone who may consider the topic inflammatory or sensationalistic.] Based on discussion of loneliness elsewhere,...

      [I'm tagging this as "adult", for purposes of open discussion, with apologies to anyone who may consider the topic inflammatory or sensationalistic.]

      Based on discussion of loneliness elsewhere, I'm curious as to what adaptive measures people undertake to promote life satisfaction in the face of environmental/cultural/social stressors.

      The word "drug" is used very loosely here, and basically refers to any strategy for purposefully altering neurochemistry - in addition to licit or illicit substance intake, it could be endorphin-boosting exercise, going out with friends, naps, particular reading genres, a good meal, games, direct brain stimulation, meditation, sexual activity, long walks in the country, or whatever.

      I'm also taking for granted the proposition that intentionally seeking beneficial neurochemical states is a human activity that everyone participates in, whether they're aware of it or not, and desirable as long as it harms no one.

      This is not an attempt to incite, advocate for, or excuse breaking any applicable laws, but a request for information on what people actually do and prefer. If you're concerned about potential legal implications of confessing to an illicit favorite, please discuss in terms of "a friend/someone I know, likes substance/activity x because y".

      "Favorite" excludes strategies you've found harmful or destructive, but discussion and/or warning is worthwhile if you feel like it.

      I'll start off by saying I have an acquaintance who finds psilocybin micro-dosing very effective at inducing positive emotional balance, mental focus and good sleep regulation.

      24 votes
    15. I've noticed a lot of people in introductory threads mentioning their mental health issues and a sizeable number of people who took the survey indicated they consider themselves mentally ill. I...

      I've noticed a lot of people in introductory threads mentioning their mental health issues and a sizeable number of people who took the survey indicated they consider themselves mentally ill. I myself have been dealing with depression for about 16 years.

      Without a search function it's hard to tell if this is a repost, but I figured I'd give it a go and see if anyone out there is in need of some support. If you need someone to talk to, consider this thread a support group and I will be here to lean on. :)

      16 votes