How do Tildes users feel about an OP that takes part in their own thread?
Bit of an odd question but one I'm becoming a little self conscious of.
I posted a thread earlier today on ~LGBT asking people to share their experiences of coming out. Because it's a somewhat sensitive topic and sharing your experiences can be a little vulnerable I've been taking part and interacting with everyone who's shared their experience.
Im being sure to try and actually contribute, bring my perspective and continue the conversation, and importantly thank people for being open about something that can be difficult.
My problem is that I worry that this is a habit I'm bringing over from Reddit that's perhaps not suitable for Tildes, but I'm not sure?
I generally see it as a good thing when an OP takes active part in a discussion they started, but maybe it's more of a hindrance here?
I'm not sure how I feel, and I'd like to get the opinions of other regular users on what would be appropriate?
Edit: I should specify and make it clear in my case I'm talking about actively replying to most or all top level comments. Not necessarily replies but still a fair number. I worry about crossing a line into just contributing to noise.
Totally acceptable and I would say encouraged. I’m not the best at it myself, but I think if you start a discussion it’s great to stay involved in it. I also think a good thread is a bit like a bonfire, it takes a little tending to really get going. Those OP replies help to tease out some topics that get other people interested and involved.
True, but is replying to every (or most) parent comments too much? I worry I'm contributing more to noise even though I'm thinking about what I write.
As long as you’re actually engaging with what’s being said I don’t see a problem with it. If your replies are mindless noise then it might be an issue, but the issue then is quality and not quantity.
This isn’t to imply every reply has to be some masterful treatise. Just treat it like an earnest conversation and I don’t think anyone would get upset and the frequency of your replies. If people don’t want to see the thread anymore they can “ignore” it, no harm no foul.
I don't think so. On Tildes, users start a discussion or reply to one because they want to connect with other people on whatever topic. Just makes for better discussion when the OP is actively engaged.
I don't understand. Why would it be unsuitable or a hindrance? You started a discussion, why shouldn't you participate in it?
I think OP is asking about replies that are more affirmations than continuing the discussion. For example, using OP’s example, replying with “Thank you for sharing your experience!” as a way of supporting the commenter, but not asking follow up questions or adding more of your own experience.
While true, I did make a point of tailoring the response for each point and directly engaging with what they wrote, bringing my own perspective and in cases where appropriate my own experience.
But yes, I do worry about it being noise more than anything, and when people are sharing sensitive stuff like that it can feel a little prying to ask follow up questions which I don't want to push on folks.
I personally think those kinds of replies are good, especially for difficult topics. I would appreciate it.
I’m still new to Tildes but here is my understanding on “noise”… having your comment labeled as noise is NOT a bad thing. I think you can still say your thank you’s so the person you’re replying to gets the affirmation and a reply notification. If your comment gets labeled as noise it will just be auto collapsed.
If I’m being honest, maybe “noise” isn’t the best label for things like that. I think a sort of “kudos” label sounds more appropriate, as it’s distinguished from actual noise like “this, exactly, bump” etc. But in the end if those labels aren’t visible to the commenter then I suppose it doesn’t matter?
I think about this to
I think it is appropriate for an OP to participate in their own thread. A discussion is supposed to be a two-way street anyway.
I would be surprised if an OP didn't take part in the discussion they started. I don't know if this is more of a Reddit perspective than Tildes, however. I made an account in 2018 but ended up spending more time over on Reddit so I can't say I'm a veteran of the culture here.
I'd expect the OP to encourage and contribute to the discussion, but hopefully refrain from dominating the discussion or feeling a need to reply to every comment on the thread.
It's the replying to every comment part that I'm conscious of. I've been replying to every top level comment, as in the people who are commenting directly on the discussion rather than replying to other comments.
I felt I wanted to encourage folks with some positive discussion and also thank them for sharing, but I do worry about crossing a line.
With the example you've given, I think that's probably completely fine. Like you said, it's a very sensitive topic and people need encouragement and positive feedback. My guess is that you're overthinking it because you're probably a very considerate person. Relax! I think people around here are pretty good at gently nudging people if they're doing something wrong.
Alright, thanks, I appreciate it! I probably am overthinking it but I'm also still getting used to the general culture here.
I guess I just felt silly when a topic has 25 comments and 11 of them are mine.
I appreicate it very much personally. If the OP cared enough to post it I like when they care enough to comment and reply as well.
I always regard it as politeness. Of course I'd never expect you to reply to 80% of comments. But if I see others writing a long, thoughtful response to a topic that seems important for OP (or if I write such a response myself, and I don't mean this one right now) and OP doesn't engage at all it's a sad thing / minor inconvenience. Like if OP wants to make a statement and walk away you'd wonder why they ask questions or want advice or something.
That's totally fair. It's a discussion I really wanted to engage in which is why I brought it to Tildes in the first place, it would be dumb to go that far and not actually respond to the people who are taking part.
Alright, general consensus is that I'm being dumb and overthinking it it seems!
That's a relief and I'm happy I'm not committing a faux pas. I was worried about being too dominant a presence in comments and speaking too much but it seems that as long as I'm being thoughtful and being intentional with my replies I'm in the green.
Just want to thank everyone here for helping!
I recently posted my first post here on Tildes asking a question in the gaming sub. I made it a point to reply to all the comments and it felt so great reading and replying to everyones comments, all the different perspectives people have about how they complete the games they play, their favourite games but most importantly i found out there are a lot of Slay the Spire fans here on Tildes.
I would say don't feel too self conscious about replying to comments on your posts, the slow pace of comments on here make it so that you have time to read all the comments rather than what is just upvoted to the top and strike a meaningful conversation about your mutual interests.
For topics that are about something that could have been traumatic it is a good thing that the OP recognises that for some people coming out is a difficult thing, and acknowledges people's contributions, even with a simple (but tailored) post.
In my opinion, people who dislike that can always ignore the thread.
I think there are currently lots of topics that generate list answer responses - lots of top level responses that directly answer a question in OP, and don't generate much discussion between users - and IMO it'd be a bit weird in those threads to post a reply to every reply, especially since the upvote button exists.
I think there's a gentle risk of "over-thinking" things - I often don't post because I don't know what group to put something into or how to tag it. But the reality is that - so long as you're making an effort to tag it, and to put it in the right group, and you're trying to learn, and you're not flooding the site with new topics - it'll be okay because someone will fix the tags for you.
(I am really grateful to them, and I do try to learn more about tagging, but it's still something I'm pretty bad at.)
tl;dr don't be a dick. Posting a kind comment in response to people who are engaging with your thread is not being a dick, it's being kind.
I think it's really good to have that back and forth. Also I enjoyed the discussion in your post a lot!
Thanks, I really appreciate it! I wanted people to feel welcome and safe to share their experiences. It can be difficult, so some positive encouragement can go a long way in my opinion.
I've been really happy with how many stories people have shared.
Until you asked that question I hadnt even considered it might be poor form to comment on your own posts.
The way I look at Tildes is it is a discussion, a conversation if you like and you wouldn't start a conversation and then not contribute to it.
I may be wrong and am happy to be corrected
I'm fine with it, it shows the OP is engaged with their own thread/post.
I'm new here, too, but my two cents for commenting anywhere is knowing what's appropriate when. Different threads have different purposes and different types of discussion. In your example (as someone else said in this thread), it seems appropriate to reply to each top level comment to help encourage more top level comments sharing their personal experience.
For this thread, it's probably not quite as appropriate to respond to every single top-level comment unless it helps continue to facilitate further discussion.
On that other website which shan't be named (reddit.com) I sometimes had a thread go viral, but since I was the OP, I felt terrified and didn't dare say anything because it had grown to be something more than me asking a stupid question. But mostly, it seemed to grow into its own thing and work out fine, regardless of whether I participate or not.
I appreciate it when I see it. I've never posted anything that's blown up before, but I'll typically stick around and respond to others on "my thread". I guess once it starts getting into the dozens/hundreds of responses I'd probably stop caring, it's kind of turned into its own thing at that point.
I didn't even consider that taking part in a conversation that you started would be looked at negatively. I've definitely done it for the few topics that I've started.
Honestly, until your question I had never thought it could be seen as impolite or worse. Okay, I'm just a Tilderidoo for a few days as well (Rexiteer like I guess 99.9% of new ones at the moment), but I also never saw any OP receiving negative responses by anyone for taking part in the conversation when I lurked before asking for an invite.
I like it when the OP responded and interacts with other people on the threads. Mostly because it usually means a great conversation that other people can read or jump into if they have something that adds to it.
If you've posted a discussion topic - as you have - then it's probably expected that you're going to discuss things with people who reply. That's a good thing.
I thought that was the whole point of threads anywhere? "I think this is worth talking about and would like to discuss it." You started a conversation and are taking part in it, it shouldn't be an issue at all.
Otherwise you're just posting from a pulpit for everybody else to engage with your links, which is not how one builds a community.
It's just conversation, it doesn't really have anything to do with reddit, or tildes. Just good talk.