24 votes

DnD 5e - Do’s and don’ts as a player

I’m starting a new 5e campaign with some friends, and I think I have some performance anxiety. I’m not the most creative person, and the last thing I want to do is kill the fun. The only other time I've played a ttrpg was years ago in high school.

I’m curious what you all have found detracts from a session as well as any advice that enhances the experience for everyone.

26 comments

  1. [10]
    stu2b50
    Link
    Everyone needs to remember it’s a collaborative game in the end. I’ll give three examples: The infamous lone wolf player character. The party needs to be together. The DM is not going to run a...

    Everyone needs to remember it’s a collaborative game in the end. I’ll give three examples:

    The infamous lone wolf player character. The party needs to be together. The DM is not going to run a parallel game. Make characters such that it makes sense for them to be in the party.

    Testing DM limits as a player. Keep in mind the DM is a human. Try to play ball - of course you have autonomy, but sometimes you should read the hints the DM is giving out and let yourself be railroaded. The DM isn’t the enemy, it’s arguably the person at the table putting those effort in to give you enjoyment. Also, just practically, they’re only going to prep so much, and more you derail them the more it gets into jank. This is maybe most common in players who listen to shows like critical role and have not DMed or played much.

    DM PvP. As a DM, your goal is not to kill the players. It’s a tricky thing to balance - the PCs only need to win the fight. But the DM can instakill the party at any moment - that’s not the points. It’s to give them a challenging, but reasonable fight. Don’t fall into just trying to make your players miserable.

    This also applies in not countering PC builds. You are god as the DM, you can counter anything at any time, it’s not impressive that you created an encounter that shuts down a PC.

    17 votes
    1. DeaconBlue
      Link Parent
      A little follow-up to this part specifically would be that you should try to make encounters that let all players shine occasionally. Paladins (in general) beat the crap out of single targets....

      This also applies in not countering PC builds. You are god as the DM, you can counter anything at any time, it’s not impressive that you created an encounter that shuts down a PC.

      A little follow-up to this part specifically would be that you should try to make encounters that let all players shine occasionally.

      Paladins (in general) beat the crap out of single targets. They are not great against hordes. There are plenty of other classes that do great crowd control but kind of suck against single targets that pass their Save Or Dies.

      Mix it up. Give the paladin an occasional big bad undead to smite and roll their entire bag of dice. Leading up to that encounter, some waves upon waves of undead for the crowd control ranger to stack up hits against. Give the druid an open field to stomp around as a Giant Ape but no shadows for the rogue, but give the rogue a dungeon with plenty of shadows and locks to pick later.

      As long as everyone gets to shine occasionally, not playing into their strengths is fine.

      There is a big difference between shutting them down and just playing the game normally.

      17 votes
    2. [2]
      Nemoder
      Link Parent
      I'm new to D&D myself and our DM has been great in teaching us the rules, but it's also kinda made us reliant on them to enforce all the rules. I'm still not sure if I should feel bad for not...

      I'm new to D&D myself and our DM has been great in teaching us the rules, but it's also kinda made us reliant on them to enforce all the rules. I'm still not sure if I should feel bad for not reminding the DM about some damage or spell rule they forgot that probably would have killed us.

      How do most players feel about that?

      3 votes
      1. kaffo
        Link Parent
        As a long time DM if this is the case it depends on your kind of game. If the game is advertised as an intense, high strategy, rules heavy game where your character could die in any fight, then I...

        As a long time DM if this is the case it depends on your kind of game.
        If the game is advertised as an intense, high strategy, rules heavy game where your character could die in any fight, then I would expect my players to try and remind me about these rules in a fight.

        Basically all other forms of play and I suspect you're playing a reasonably normal D&D campaign, I would not bring it up until afterwards and just mention to then about the rule. They might be leaving it out on purpose to make the game a little easier to play or it might be a genuine mistake. But either way bringing it up at the table, in the middle of a long sequence like combat, is bad form. It's usually a waste of everyone's time.

        9 votes
    3. [6]
      tanglisha
      Link Parent
      I play Pathfinder with a group whose members played D&D from versions 1-3.5. This has left them with some interesting baggage, like new adventures from one DM always starting out with the party...

      As a DM, your goal is not to kill the players.

      I play Pathfinder with a group whose members played D&D from versions 1-3.5. This has left them with some interesting baggage, like new adventures from one DM always starting out with the party helpless and with no possessions (like the party is in jail).

      Apparently early versions of D&D were the DM vs. the party, rather than the DM as a storyteller/guide. Back then TPKs were common; when character died the player would build a new one starting at level 1.

      It doesn't really sound all that fun to me, but I guess different things work for different people. I guess Cthulhu style games aren't completely dissimilar, except you know going in that your character will eventually end up mad.

      1 vote
      1. [5]
        daychilde
        Link Parent
        I haven't been in a table-top RPG in nearly 30 years - and I still miss it. But you touched on one of my frustrations with the group I was in: We did a lot of campaigns and a lot of systems, but...

        I haven't been in a table-top RPG in nearly 30 years - and I still miss it. But you touched on one of my frustrations with the group I was in: We did a lot of campaigns and a lot of systems, but we were always starting out fresh at level one, so while I might go up a couple of levels, I never got to truly advance and do the coolest shit.

        I'm kinda hoping something on Tildes will take off. And I hope we can either play long enough to advance to higher levels, or even there will be a campaign that starts off at a medium level or something. I'm tired of only playing lowest-level characters. heh

        1. [2]
          DeaconBlue
          Link Parent
          I rarely even start games at level one any more. Generally the groups I play with are happy to gloss over the first "slay all the rats in the basement to save the inn from the evil health...

          We did a lot of campaigns and a lot of systems, but we were always starting out fresh at level one, so while I might go up a couple of levels, I never got to truly advance and do the coolest shit.

          I rarely even start games at level one any more. Generally the groups I play with are happy to gloss over the first "slay all the rats in the basement to save the inn from the evil health inspector" quest or whatever and skip to level 3 where the classes actually start to get some interesting abilities and you aren't downed by the first random crit by any random enemy because you have 4 HP.

          4 votes
        2. [2]
          kollkana
          Link Parent
          This is the thing I like most about the Unknown Armies 2E system - character creation is entirely point-buy and how many points you have to work with, and the character-creation cap, depends on...

          This is the thing I like most about the Unknown Armies 2E system - character creation is entirely point-buy and how many points you have to work with, and the character-creation cap, depends on the level of the campaign:

          • "street level" is the lowest, your characters may not even be adepts or avatars (i.e. the magical/powerful people)
          • "global level" you have some mojo, possibly very powerful mojo, but there are limits
          • "cosmic level" and you're probably literally changing the world with crazy magic
          2 votes
          1. daychilde
            Link Parent
            That sounds rather refreshing :)

            That sounds rather refreshing :)

            1 vote
  2. SloMoMonday
    Link
    This is more general guidance on the creative role as a player. There's plenty of people who let their lack of creative experience stop them from even trying things that help build creative skills...

    This is more general guidance on the creative role as a player. There's plenty of people who let their lack of creative experience stop them from even trying things that help build creative skills (and it is a skill that can be exercised and developed).

    A big part of creativity is finding some sort of inspiration you and sharing it with your personal skills and talents, even if it's not artistic. Problem solving, building, negotiating, collecting/organizing, survival, cooking; it's different flavours of creativity you can bring to the table and can add to the experience in and out of the game.

    The other part that makes people nervous is characters. A lot of people have a very hard time making their character act independently or just inhabiting a character. Most popular RPGs in media is played by professional performers and it can set some very high expectations. You don't need to completely immerse yourself if you don't want to. You also don't need to put on accents or refer to a character as yourself if it makes you uncomfortable. Think of it like describing how you played a video game. "Sir Fredrick runs up to the fight that started at the back of the tavern. He doesn't really understand why the goblin and gnome are fighting. He wants to keep things civil so he trys to seperate them by picking one up in each hand and holding them apart." You added an interesting action to the scene and that's enough. Your GM will collect all the players actions (and dice rolls) and should have enough to flesh out the scene and add in all the embellishments and details. If the GM misinterprets your action, speak up but no need to be pedantic on every detail.

    Also when creating a character, you don't need to start with a fully formed identity and personality. It's fine to go in with a broad idea. You can use the "7 dwarfs" style at the beginning where you play into 1 or 2 big personality traits (Leader, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sensitive, Dopey, Curious, Devout, Hedonistic). From there you can discover things about the character with other players by feeling out situations. Just be sure to let the GM know if you want to have some blank space in your backstory and when you want to fill it in.

    I'm also not the biggest fan of alignment charts since it can lead to wildly inconsistent behaviour. I enjoy working around a persons values, ideals and flaws. They can and should change as character goes through arcs; but keep in mind that the longer one is in place, the harder it should be to change.

    And one thing I think is extremely important: Ask for permission before doing anything concerning another player's character. The big ones being theft and damage. Doesn't matter if it's fully in keeping with the character or for the greater good or you think they'll understand, it is not worth damaging a friendship over a game.

    9 votes
  3. [4]
    kaffo
    Link
    Best advise I can give is don't try and be quirky or think outside the box. It might be obvious, it might be not, but in your head the "obvious answer" to any question or move by the DM is not...

    Best advise I can give is don't try and be quirky or think outside the box.
    It might be obvious, it might be not, but in your head the "obvious answer" to any question or move by the DM is not going to be the same as anyone else around the table and that makes it interesting to everyone.

    To be clear. It the DM asks you "OK how do you cross this chasm"
    You might feel the pressure to come up with something weird and wonderful like "I cave in the skull of a nearby person and use their ribs as a raft" and it's not that cool or nornal to do.
    Just stuck with "I use some rope" or "I jump across with my high athletics" or "I use my magic item Mage Man gave to me 3 sessions ago to fly across". Honestly it will always be the better answer.

    And of course always make time for the game and if you can't make it (or priorities change) be honest and tell the DM. These days people are too flaky.

    8 votes
    1. [3]
      hobblyhoy
      Link Parent
      I mean, you do you, but my party would have done the raft thing and our DM would have a blast working it in.

      I mean, you do you, but my party would have done the raft thing and our DM would have a blast working it in.

      2 votes
      1. [2]
        kaffo
        Link Parent
        I won't tell you that you're playing TTRPG's wrong because you're not, everyone can play their own way and everyone can have fun the way they want. That's the awesome thing about them! However...

        I won't tell you that you're playing TTRPG's wrong because you're not, everyone can play their own way and everyone can have fun the way they want. That's the awesome thing about them! However I'll try and explain my post.

        My advice comes from a complaint and frustration I hear a lot (and read a lot online) about trying to actually get a group of players to sit down and actually role play a somewhat serious game (not entirely serous! Just get into character).
        Like, my example, and your game, is not somethat that any sane person would actually every do. It's properly nuts. Yes it's funny, but it's not in character unless you all decided to create literal lunatics.

        So it pulls everyone at the table out of the magic for a moment. The laugh is good entertainment for the moment, but it cheapens the setting, the world, the characters and the story. It makes them all a little less real and relatable when they have less grounding. And they especially get more interesting and complex when they have human motivations.
        Maybe your guy doesn't cave in someone's skull to create a raft from his bones, but he's got this covered because his brother and him used to go climbing all the time as kids and he's a brilliant climber, so he just goes across and runs a rope. Maybe he slips on the way (fails the roll) and it becomes a whole joke the in the group that his brother did all the climbing and he just stood and watched.
        You're gonna be a lot more emotional when that guy does something important like saves the world or nearly dies than if he's just Gregg the Barbarian who likes to smash.

        I think it's a "beginners mistake" to use cheap laughs to avoid actually role playing. Role playing Gregg is kinda weird and awkward and if you've never done it before it's daunting so it's so easy to go for "uh I do something really crazy!" as a crutch. Where as pretty much universally, if you just keep it cool and use your common sense... What would Gregg do? Gregg would probably try to jump the gap because he's a fucking moron wouldn't he? But he'd stop if someone told him not to! Because he trusts his friends and he knows the are smarter than him. But he'd also totally do it if they didn't.
        It helps paint a more colourful picture of these people you want to make the main characters. Their bond, their story, their life. It makes it real and it makes you as a player invested in a lot of ways. If you do it right you'll be laughing, crying, smiling and shouting for years after the game has ended.

        3 votes
        1. hobblyhoy
          (edited )
          Link Parent
          I see what you're saying. I'm biased coming from limited experience and always played with a gaggle of deeply flawed characters. It was never immersion breaking when our rouge attempted fanciful...

          I see what you're saying. I'm biased coming from limited experience and always played with a gaggle of deeply flawed characters. It was never immersion breaking when our rouge attempted fanciful acrobatics trying to impress an orc just to wind up unconscious and dying from fall damage. Or when we had to wait for our paladin's pet rat who'd been sent out on a spy mission through the sewers because he'd stopped to fuck everything he came across. You had to be there, but man that stuff was fun. Something I think we all did well, and maybe take for granted, is fully embodying our characters and playing things out no matter how terrible the outcome.

          But the point of my message wasn't really any of that. I guess I'm trying to say I think the game is overall more enjoyable when people reach for the creative, in-character, solution rather than just always going with the default in game mechanic. I wouldn't want to scare off a new player from doing the silly/weird thing just because it's silly/weird (so long as it fits!). Sounds like we generally agree on that.

          1 vote
  4. [2]
    Zorind
    Link
    As a player, your job is easy: Show up, on time And that’s it! I jest, but that really is one of the most important things. Others: Take notes (and your GM will love you, especially if you utilize...

    As a player, your job is easy:

    • Show up, on time

    And that’s it!

    I jest, but that really is one of the most important things. Others:

    • Take notes (and your GM will love you, especially if you utilize your notes)
    • In combat, try to figure out what you want to do before it gets to your turn (if you’re playing a spellcaster, you tend to have lots of options - it’s helpful to make notes and keep in mind what spells you’ve prepared, so you don’t spend 5 minutes trying to find the optimal one each turn)
    • Don’t monopolize time (let other players do things)

    (I took your “as a player” in the title as the implication that you aren’t the GM, but if you are the GM, I can give tips for that too. The GM is technically a player after-all.)

    7 votes
    1. BeardyHat
      Link Parent
      This right here. Combat is most of the game in D&D and arguably the most fleshed out of the systems. So be ready for it, know your character and what you want to do before your turn comes up....

      In combat, try to figure out what you want to do before it gets to your turn (if you’re playing a spellcaster, you tend to have lots of options - it’s helpful to make notes and keep in mind what spells you’ve prepared, so you don’t spend 5 minutes trying to find the optimal one each turn)

      This right here.

      Combat is most of the game in D&D and arguably the most fleshed out of the systems. So be ready for it, know your character and what you want to do before your turn comes up.

      Combat is already going to take forever and often be dreadfully boring, so try to help smooth it over by knowing what you want to do beforehand.

      5 votes
  5. lou
    (edited )
    Link
    On RPG games it is generally okay to use the third person a lot of the time. Yes it is a good idea to try to interpret your character when the situation calls for it, but players have different...

    On RPG games it is generally okay to use the third person a lot of the time. Yes it is a good idea to try to interpret your character when the situation calls for it, but players have different talents and difficulties, not everyone is a natural born performer and real life games are not like Critical Role.

    I must stress this: Critical Role and other YouTube channels are performance art. Real life games are not like that.

    5 votes
  6. Bonooru
    Link
    Adding on to this that the most important thing is that everyone is having fun (you included). If that's true, then you've done a good job

    Adding on to this that the most important thing is that everyone is having fun (you included). If that's true, then you've done a good job

    4 votes
  7. pekt
    Link
    If you're playing in person, I would suggest no phones at the table. Helps keep people from being distracted. I know so people may have obligations where they need to be contactable but having...

    If you're playing in person, I would suggest no phones at the table. Helps keep people from being distracted.

    I know so people may have obligations where they need to be contactable but having them at least keep their phone in their pocket and maybe turn it on vibrate so they're not checking it or having a loud ringtone go off.

    I know the sessionss I've played in person where we all put our phones in a different room were some of the most fun/engaging as both a player and a DM.

    3 votes
  8. hpr
    Link
    To speak to your performance anxiety: This is a game you play with friends (or people that hopefully soon will be). It really isn't about performing anything, it's about finding a fun dynamic for...

    To speak to your performance anxiety: This is a game you play with friends (or people that hopefully soon will be).
    It really isn't about performing anything, it's about finding a fun dynamic for your group and that should help you be / get more creative if you feel you aren't the most creative right now.

    I mostly think it's hard to "kill the fun" if you pay attention to it. If it seems like someone doesn't like something you do, maybe ask. But mostly, don't commit / entrench yourself in case there is some criticism. That should honestly handle most of it.

    For more RPG-related advice, I would like to highlight: read the room.
    TTRPGs and their vibe are very contingent upon your group, so even a lot of very good advice should be overridden by "but the people on my table like it this other way".
    That being said:

    Pay attention to what others like. This is likely to be some compromise, as everyone's a little different.
    Are you playing a combat heavy campaign with "real hard-core strategist"? Make sure you try to be somewhat strategic instead of destroying their efforts with bad planning. Playing a more role-play heavy game? Embrace it and try to add to it by making an effort to play into the fantasy.

    In the most extreme, it might be that one player at a table has very different things they want from the game than the rest of the party. This doesn't need to mean either they or the others are bad players. They might just not have found the right table yet.

    In the same light, ideally you should have an understanding of what others are comfortable with / what their boundaries are. Is PvP ok? Is it generally ok to be a slightly antagonistic? Is flirting alright? Is brutality towards NPCs ok?

    Prefer improv-style "yes and" over being stubborn about things going exactly your way, that way you'll get a more enjoyable flow to the game.
    If someone else has an idea / tries to be creative, reward it by embracing it, don't shut them down.
    Generally speaking, try what you can to not break flow, e.g. by making a scene when others don't seem interested or taking a very long time to decide on your actions.

    Build a social character who wants the party to succeed, because it's a) awkward to role-play if your characters have no reason to stay with each other and b) often not fun when one player is working against the party.

    Use the rules to guide your role-play, but in your interactions with others, focus on the role-play: maybe instead of "I cast dissonant whispers" you can describe what the other players would see.
    This works best if you don't repeat your actions all the time and / or focus on describing the things you haven't done before in more detail.

    Have an interest in the characters of other players and backstories, even more so if it seems they have spent a lot of effort on it. They probably like their character and like talking about it / playing it out more.

    2 votes
  9. [4]
    elight
    Link
    D&D AnyE guidance: DOs: Focus on interesting characters Focus on helping bring the characters to life Create NPCs that contrast PCs both in positive and negative ways to create dramatic tension...

    D&D AnyE guidance:

    DOs:

    • Focus on interesting characters
    • Focus on helping bring the characters to life
    • Create NPCs that contrast PCs both in positive and negative ways to create dramatic tension
    • Sometimes, it's worth really developing an NPC or fews' relationships with one or more PCs as part of the campaign
    • Unpredictably have beautiful/awful things happen to those NPCs to manipulate your players' emotions (see also: dramatic tension)
    • Every PC deserves time in the spotlight
    • Don't take any of it too seriously
    • Encourage teamwork
    • Punish (by way of the game) any player who actively tries to f up the game for the group or otherwise act like a jerk. Punish them severely. Have it fit the story. Still, come down on them like a ton of bricks.*

    DON'Ts:

    • Care too much about the rules. They exist to help you tell a story.
    • Let the dice decide whether a PC lives or dies. That's casual brutality. If someone has to die, in the game, give it meaning.

    * Two examples—granted from about three decades ago:

    • Cyberpunk 2020 game. Crew is hired by a fixer to do a smash and grab on a major corp. One player decides that he's going to start some lethal shit with another, in game, just because he doesn't like the player. CP202 is a brutal game; it's encouraged in the rules. So the "innocent" party gets decapitated, fair and square, in a fight. After said job, dick-for-brains, who stirred up shit, wakes in the middle of the night, feeling unsettled. He doesn't heed this instinct. In flies a high explosive air-to-ground missile, blowing him to pieces. The message: don't fuck with a fixer's gig (or the GM's game).
    • Star Wars RPG. The players are on the run from the Empire. Without quite meaning to, they managed to get in the middle of a situation that caught the attention of the sector Admiral. I don't remember the details but not only were they wanted badly, they needed to be made an example of. The players landed on this corpo world in the sector. One of them decides to go to a local shop in the spaceport. He insists on getting "cheese". The shopkeep doesn't know what "cheese" is (it's Star Wars, man. They don't eat the stuff we do). The PC gets annoyed. He makes a real ass if himself before he pulls a gun. At this point, the player is just stirring things up. The shopkeeper is faster, pulls a stunner from behind the counter, and our PC is down. The PC gets thrown in jail. The rest of the crew decides screw him, he was a jerk anyway. They take off. A few days later, the Admiral has a detachment of Star Destroyers level the city, just to make a point to the whole sector. And the point to the player: fuck around and find out.
    1 vote
    1. [3]
      stu2b50
      Link Parent
      I disagree with a lot of these, at least for DnD. You should care about a rules, DnD is a game that takes its rules seriously. If you want a more casual, storytelling experience, something like...

      I disagree with a lot of these, at least for DnD.

      You should care about a rules, DnD is a game that takes its rules seriously. If you want a more casual, storytelling experience, something like Dungeon World is what you should use. There's no point picking up a game which is mostly comprised of rules, to just not follow said rules.

      Let the dice decide whether a PC lives or dies.

      You absolutely should let the dice decide life and death. That's half the fun of it. The story is organic and emergent - it goes in different ways no one can predict. Sometimes the hero gets critted by a goblin in the first session and dies. Sometimes the big bad fails 3 saving throws in a row and dies halfway through the story. You can throw some chrome around it, after the fact, but things that happen in the game mechanics should matter.

      Punish (by way of the game) any player who actively tries to f up the game for the group or otherwise act like a jerk. Punish them severely. Have it fit the story. Still, come down on them like a ton of bricks.*

      I don't see the point in this. It's just awkward. If someone is actually acting up, you should talk to them outside of the game. Having it be part of the game just makes everything awkward (e.g is this happening because it's supposed to happen or does the DM passive aggressively signaling that I "FUCKED" up the game)?

      6 votes
      1. [2]
        elight
        (edited )
        Link Parent
        I respect your disagreement. Dice? 🤷‍♂️ There's "role playing" and "roll playing". I'm staunchly in favor of the former and against the latter. Rules lawyers were never welcome in my game. For a...

        I respect your disagreement.

        Dice? 🤷‍♂️ There's "role playing" and "roll playing". I'm staunchly in favor of the former and against the latter. Rules lawyers were never welcome in my game. For a shared experience, I prefer rules as guidelines. To each their own. I know mine!

        IIRC, in both cases, I told the player that they're being an ass. They didn't care. Maybe I didn't. It was 30 years ago. But when a player is aggressively fucking up the game for others? That's unnecessary and undesirable drama.

        Fuck around and find out.

        You do your thing. That's ok. But I don't play that way.

        1 vote
        1. steezyaspie
          Link Parent
          Surely you could’ve just asked the player to leave the table if they wouldn’t stop being an ass, though? In-game solutions to problems in the real world rarely work, in my experience.

          Surely you could’ve just asked the player to leave the table if they wouldn’t stop being an ass, though? In-game solutions to problems in the real world rarely work, in my experience.

          4 votes
  10. ajwish
    Link
    I think this is becoming more common in general, but I highly recommend having a session 0 before the game really gets going to flesh out some of these details. What is the kind of campaign people...

    I think this is becoming more common in general, but I highly recommend having a session 0 before the game really gets going to flesh out some of these details.

    • What is the kind of campaign people are playing? Rib rafts across chasms or something more serious?
    • Should players expect death as a possibility or is the GM hoping to keep people alive to continue the story?
    • Does anyone have topics that should be avoided (this one can be a private/anonymous note to the GM) to avoid real-life trauma? Arachnophobia so giant spiders should be avoided or not instigating quests with villages razed to the ground?
    • What are expectations for real life behavior? No phones out at the table? How many players need to be present for the session to continue as planned?

    (There are way better guides out there on what all to touch on, but these come to mind first for me)

    Having a conversation before things get going can be really helpful to make sure everyone is on the same page and knows what expectations are, which I've found helpful to reduce my anxiety around uncertainty.

    1 vote