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34 votes
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German parliament votes to make it easier for transgender people to change their name and gender
39 votes -
Over 2,000 gender confirmation applications made since last April | Wednesday marked one year since gender confirmation has been simplified in Finland
34 votes -
Inequities in conversion practice exposure at the intersection of ethnoracial and gender identities
4 votes -
Utah teen athlete faces threats after state official posted photos questioning her gender
40 votes -
Florida official letter: "Misrepresenting" gender on drivers licenses is fraud, changes now banned
40 votes -
A Japanese court rules it's unconstitutional to require surgery for a change of gender on documents
51 votes -
Trans identity and the gender binary
Hi! I would like to take a moment to expand my understanding of an aspect of queer culture that I have some trouble with. I'd like to preface this by saying that, while I consider myself to be...
Hi! I would like to take a moment to expand my understanding of an aspect of queer culture that I have some trouble with. I'd like to preface this by saying that, while I consider myself to be queer in the broader sense, I also pass as a cishet male. That being said, I'm going to express myself honestly in the hopes that someone will be able to give me an honest to what might read as bigoted. Putting everything else in a detail box:
Questions on the 'validity' of trans identity
Basically - I understand gender to be social construct based on expected roles for biological males and females undertake in a traditional society. While there is some validity to the stereotypes on a biological level, I figure that most people should be able to understand that they exist in many places on the spectrum of masculine to feminine traits. People who are queer generally do not fit into these stereotypes and experience ostracization from those who cannot escape the mental paradigm of the gender binary.Is trans identity more than a product of societal gender roles? I don't understand where the root of the dysphoria could be other than not fitting into the stereotypes of your assigned gender. How could someone come to understand that their body feels "wrong" to them without learning that from something outside of their internal experience (i.e. perceiving gender roles and feeling like oneself is more aligned to the opposite pole than the one they're assigned to?) What is the benefit in choosing to identify as transgender (which reinforces gender roles through buying into them) versus choosing to eschew the gender binary entirely and identifying with / presenting as genderfluid or non-binary?
39 votes -
Gender is not the same as sex (linguistics perspective)
11 votes -
New California law bars schoolbook bans based on racial and gender teachings
14 votes -
Transgender and nonbinary patients have no regrets about top surgery, small study finds
61 votes -
"Body of Mine" puts users in a virtual body of a different gender
30 votes -
Five myths in the US House of Representatives anti-trans hearing against gender affirming care
34 votes -
How the pandemic hatched a new generation of transgender people
26 votes -
J. Harrison Ghee and Alex Newell make history as first nonbinary acting winners at Tony Awards
10 votes -
Indiana governor signs “Don’t Say Gay” bill that forces teachers to out trans kids to their parents
12 votes -
Dwyane Wade, who has trans daughter, says he left Florida because his family 'would not be accepted' there
11 votes -
Gender-affirming care has a long history in the US
4 votes -
The Witch Trials of JK Rowling
15 votes -
Eight times when strangers misread my gender, ranked
8 votes -
Finland has passed a new, progressive rights law which makes it substantially easier for trans people to change their legal gender
9 votes -
UK government to block Scottish gender bill
8 votes -
Florida Board of Medicine votes to ban gender affirming care for all trans teenagers
@Erin Reed: A dark day for trans youth.Florida Board of Medicine has just voted to ban gender affirming care for all trans teenagers.They cut the hearing early and told activists to "email them."I cry for Florida's trans youth. This was a sham hearing with fake experts. pic.twitter.com/JORaHN4uFA
18 votes -
Interrogating Gender-Exploratory Therapy (Perspectives on psychological science)
1 vote -
New LGBTQ+ plan presented by the Danish government includes a proposal to expand access to legal gender change to all children regardless of age
4 votes -
Gender has a history and its more recent than you may realize—The story of how society, ignorant of medical research, made a stigma of something our bodies do naturally: not conform to a sexual binary
3 votes -
I need help with gender options in my game
I'm making a video game, which is sort of a mixture of a puzzle game and interactive fiction. I'm a little uncertain about some name and pronoun choices that I currently offer to the player and I...
I'm making a video game, which is sort of a mixture of a puzzle game and interactive fiction. I'm a little uncertain about some name and pronoun choices that I currently offer to the player and I thought that you guys might be able to help me.
The game is in English. At the beginning of the game, the player chooses the main character's name and pronoun. This is presented through two screens that offer the choices through textual narrative. It goes something like this, with [brackets] marking the options that the player can currently choose between.
This is the story of...
[...Alice Aster.]
[...Alan Aster.]
[...Al Aster.]
It is...
[...her story.]
[...his story.]
[...their story.]
Detached from the wider narrative context, this method may seem clunky, but I believe it works within the game itself. Mechanically, that is. I'm less sure about the options that I'm offering.
The player can choose any of the three options in the first screen and again any in the second, regardless of what they chose in the first. This affects the player character's name and pronouns used throughout the game.
Now, there clearly are also many other pronouns that people identify with in English, just like there are many other names. However, for technical and design reasons, it would be challenging for me to have the player freely type in their preferred name or pronouns, and neither can I really present a long list of options. At the same time, by condensing all non-binary choices into the most common (?) "their" and by assuming that "her" also equates to "she" and so on, I wonder if I end up coming across as someone who thinks they are on top of things, but clearly has only a very superficial understanding of the topic. Which, to be honest, might not be that far from the truth.
Similarly, of the three names offered, "Al" is intended as a more gender-neutral or non-binary option than the other two. Does that make sense? Would there be a better way to handle this? Are there names that better signal non-binary or gender-neutral identity?
Or am I simply approaching this wrong?
The game itself does not deal with gender identity. As you can see, I'm not the right person to write about the topic. The choice of gender in fact has relatively little effect on the story itself. The player also has no choice over other matters of identity, including their character's cultural background or family structure. The character is not intended to be the player, but someone whose story the player follows. But it still feels important for me and for the story to offer a choice about the name and the pronoun. And I wouldn't be comfortable with it being just a "traditional" choice between male and female, as it would quite explicitly imply and reinforce assumptions about the world that I think we should move away from as a society.
Not that my game is of course going to change the world in any meaningful way. But having worked on it for about six years now, it has been one long personal learning experience for me. And this feels like another opportunity to understand something better.
Thanks in advance for any thoughts and advice.
14 votes -
Gladys Bentley: Gender-bending performer and musician of the Harlem Renaissance (1920-30s)
2 votes -
Do Ask, Tell, and Show: Contextual Factors Affecting Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Disclosure for Sexual and Gender Minority People
10 votes -
Gendering is a luxury
3 votes -
I am a transwoman, I am in the closet and I am not coming out
22 votes -
Pogrom climate in Britain
12 votes -
Bill 2 is "the most transphobic bill ever proposed in Quebec," activist says
5 votes -
California to enforce 'gender neutral' toy aisles in large stores
15 votes -
Seeking Trans liberation through birthwork
5 votes -
The science of being transgender
7 votes -
How Twitter can ruin a life: The story of Isabel Fall
19 votes -
UK Supreme Court told ‘X’ gender markers on passports needn’t be controversial in historic hearing
8 votes -
The Global Transgender Resources Registry
10 votes -
I was a trans comedian. Here’s why I quit
12 votes -
No, Mr Potato Head is not going gender neutral
@farhad manjoo: press release vs reporting. what happened here? They are not at all making it gender neutral. Did they make a quick change or did all the reports get it very wrong? pic.twitter.com/sMPGswjknA
5 votes -
Spain's new gender bill will allow self-id, without a requirement for medical treatment
20 votes -
Transphobia in the sexual violence support sector
9 votes -
European Court of Human Rights upholds rights to self-determination around gender
@Paul Johnson: Very important trans rights case in ECtHR today. The case concerns the situation of two trans people who were refused recognition of their gender identities because they had not undergone gender reassignment surgery.The Court held this to be a violation of the ECHR (Art 8). pic.twitter.com/9bUvYg156L
14 votes -
Why I post my pronouns and you should too
17 votes -
Judith Butler on the culture wars, JK Rowling and living in “anti-intellectual times”
5 votes -
What's something you have always wanted to know about being LGBT (but were maybe afraid to ask)?
Introduction Gender and sexuality are complex, personal topics, and asking questions about them can often feel invasive or even offensive. Discussions about them can be tough to navigate,...
Introduction
Gender and sexuality are complex, personal topics, and asking questions about them can often feel invasive or even offensive. Discussions about them can be tough to navigate, especially online, where people's guards are often up and hostility and harassment are common.
In order to help clear the air and provide a safe space for honest and genuine dialogue, we have assembled a cross-section of Tildes' LGBT community to whom you can ask questions. These volunteers have agreed to open up about their experiences, identities, and knowledge.
In this thread, you will be able to ask our panelists questions regarding anything you've ever wanted to know about being LGBT. Our goal is to provide you with meaningful answers, not judge you for your questions! For the purposes of this thread, LGBT refers to the umbrella term under which all minority gender and sexual identities fall.
Guidelines for Participation
Asking Questions
- Questions will be afforded the principle of charity. Ask any questions you've ever wanted to know, especially those you might feel are "not okay" to ask elsewhere.
- Feel free to ask informational questions (e.g. "What does 'pansexual' mean?"), experiential questions (e.g. "Are you out to your family? If so, how did they respond to you coming out?"), and opinion questions (e.g. "What are your thoughts on the various LGBT acronyms?").
- You can ask questions to the whole panel or to specific members. If asking specific members, please ping them using an
@username
mention in your comment. - Follow-up questions are allowed and encouraged.
- Not all questions have to be serious! It's totally okay to ask fun, non-serious stuff too.
Giving Answers
- Panelists have the right to pass on any question they do not want to answer. While they might give a reason for passing, they are not required to do so.
- Similarly, not all questions will receive answers from all panelists. We have a large group and don't want to overwhelm everyone with 10+ responses to every question.
- Each panelist is speaking from their own experience and perspective, so you might find conflicting information in responses to a question, and that's okay! We're a diverse group of different people, not a unified monoculture!
Additional Notes
- The panel's make-up is based entirely on who volunteered and is not meant to be representative of all identities under the LGBT umbrella.
- Similarly, any one panelist's voice should not be taken as representative of the opinion of all those who share their identity.
- Please remember that these panelists are choosing to share intimate and often difficult personal information. Please respect their disclosure in your responses -- they are putting themselves out there for you!
- If you do not wish to see or participate in this thread for whatever reason, use Tildes' ignore topic feature to hide it from your feed.
Panelists
Here are the users who will be answering your questions:
@Algernon_Asimov
@CALICO
@Cleb
@emdash
@Gaywallet
@kfwyre
@patience_limited
@reifyresonance
@ShilohMizook
@Silbern
@tindall
@WhomYou can get more information on each in their bios below:
Full Panelist Bios
Name Identity Preferred Pronouns Bio @Algernon_Asimov Gay man I'm "Algernon". I'm a middle-aged gay man living in Australia. I came of age during the 1980s, when "gay" meant "Got AIDS Yet?". @CALICO Pan & Poly, Male-shaped, Agender, Non-transitioning Trans None/No-preference Late-20's, military brat, former military, current gov't contractor. Historically lived all over the US; in the past 18-months I've lived in three states and two non-US countries—currently Afghanistan. Out where it matters, closeted where it doesn't. Unmarried—probably forever—in a LT/LDR currently with just one person. Shameless hippie, hobbyist, & aspiring author. @Cleb Genderfluid (Agender & Femme, also fine with just Non-Binary) They/Them, She/Her Early 20s, American, white, closeted in real life. Grew up in very conservative & religious area, still live here. Can talk about growing up like that, my struggle with fluidity/internalized transphobia/gender as a whole, things relating to trans culture on the internet, and any of the other standard fare trans and gender-nonconforming person questions. @emdash. If you wanted to find my real name and social media profiles, you probably could, but keep it to yourself and don't be a dick, okay? Gay cis-male He/him Early 20s (wow there's a theme emerging) guy living in New Zealand. Software engineering degree, but I hate the industry, so working on my own business and studying to be a pilot instead (aka the backup plan). I also fly a paraglider for fun. I've always lived in New Zealand, but would love to live overseas. Have the Tinder/Taimi profile tuned to a fine fucking art (IMHO). Out to friends, family aren't informed since I'm not particularly close to them anyway. @Gaywallet pan, poly, enby (nonbinary) they/them Early 30s, lived in California my whole life. Currently have 5 partners and feeling quite polysaturated. Big into raving, psychedelics, and general hippy stuff but with a queer focus. Out to friends and family, but not fully flying my flag at work (work in progress to happen this year). @kfwyre gay cis male he/him/they/them Teacher. Happily married. Living in the US, and grew up in a very conservative Christian area. Came out in my 20s and dealt with severe depression and fallout with family. @patience_limited Queer; intersex non-binary they/them/she/her Mainly in the sidebar. US, 50's, raised near a university town, married. White(ish). @reifyresonance transfemme, queer, poly she/they 19, living in the southern US. Studied in China for a year and did a field research project on marginalized queer identities in Shanghai nightlife (talked to people in gay bars), so if anyone wants to hear my (white, American) thoughts on that, I'm game :). I also got to help start an LGBT organization at my school there! Spent the last six months or so doing computer programming, and was part of the workplace LGBT affinity group. (Also, general transgender questions.) @ShilohMizook (Shiloh) Bisexual, lean mostly towards guys. Cis male. He, Him. 17, I go to a Catholic school in Florida, but the people there are pretty accepting, so I'm out to everyone. My parents try to avoid the subject. I've never actually met another non-straight guy in real life, which has kind of frustrated me, but it's okay. @Silbern Gay male He/him I'm an early 20's white guy with Asperger's Syndrome studying Computer Science. I come from a military family, so I've traveled a lot and lived in many places that were across the spectrum in gay friendliness. I currently live in Hawaii, which might be relevant both for my answers as well as possible time zone limitations. @tindall bisexual transgender female she/her Software engineer just getting out of college and into my first long-term full-time gig, at a company making cancer screening software. Grew up all over the place (East Coast, then Texas, then California) and I'm now in the Midwest. I care a lot about making the world a gentler and more supportive place for everyone, and I try to apply my skills to do that. @Whom (...and Scarlett) Trans lesbian She Early 20s, raised in the rural US (Wisconsin) studying English Education. Oh, and white. That's the important bits for context. I'm very familiar with current youth trans culture on the internet (which is so pervasive within the community that it's necessary for understanding what it's like being young and trans), so I'm well-equipped to answer questions relating to that or, of course, the trans experience as I see it. I might also be a decent resource to ask about how mental illness (particularly depression, severe anxiety, and light dissociation) fits into the whole picture.
The door is open. Ask away!
80 votes -
My nonbinary child: An anthropologist muses on what her career and child have taught her about gender stereotypes and fluidity
7 votes -
B'nai mitzvah: Instead of a male or female coming-of-age ceremony, one Jewish teen decided to do "something in the middle"
8 votes -
UK man who gave birth to child cannot be named as father on that child's birth certificate
12 votes