29 votes

Would a fairy or a walrus surprise you more if you found it on your doorstep?

From Baddy Wrong Legs on Tumblr:

It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You have nothing on, and aren't expecting visitors, deliveries or post.
Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.
Which of these would surprise you more to find on the doorstep?

19 comments

  1. fredo
    Link
    A walrus is highly unlikely. A fairy is also highly unlikely. However, I have a good indication that walruses exist in this world, while fairies are likely restricted to fictional worlds. A fairy...

    A walrus is highly unlikely. A fairy is also highly unlikely. However, I have a good indication that walruses exist in this world, while fairies are likely restricted to fictional worlds. A fairy at my doorstep would require a mind-bending transport between actual and non-actual worlds. A 1000kg walrus could simply mean I'm on a Mr. Beast video. Both Mr. Beast and walruses exist, so I would be significantly less surprised upon seeing them.

    69 votes
  2. thereticent
    Link
    A walrus. A fairy is a small delight, found upon investigation after a caught glint from aside. A walrus is just unreasonable.
    • Exemplary

    A walrus.

    A fairy is a small delight, found upon investigation after a caught glint from aside.

    A walrus is just unreasonable.

    41 votes
  3. [2]
    moocow1452
    (edited )
    Link
    Under my interpretation of “more surprising,” a fairy would presumably be able to explain its business more so than a walrus, and isn’t that much more different than your average solicitor once...

    Under my interpretation of “more surprising,” a fairy would presumably be able to explain its business more so than a walrus, and isn’t that much more different than your average solicitor once you get past the idea that fairies exist in the world. A walrus on the other hand, is something that you would immediately have to deal with, and would raise all sorts of questions about how it got onto your doorstep, how it is getting off of your doorstep, and if you will ever be able to clean up the smell.

    22 votes
    1. fredo
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      I'm trying to think of how I would actually react to that concrete situation, and which stages would my mind go through. First, and I'm thinking of a tiny flying fairy like Tinker Bell, I would...

      I'm trying to think of how I would actually react to that concrete situation, and which stages would my mind go through.

      First, and I'm thinking of a tiny flying fairy like Tinker Bell, I would probably think I'm dealing with an insect. I would run away in a ridiculous fashion and come back to kill it after a moment. I would probably be holding my slipper, and there's a good chance I would hit it (I kill a lot of insects). I'd be horrified to learn that I just killed a tiny human with wings. That traumatic experience would change my worldview, I might never kill another insect. Maybe I'd become vegan due to a fear of unintentionally eating humanoid creatures.

      If I didn't manage to kill it, and it started to talk, I would most likely question my sanity regardless of what the creature said. I would be terrified, maybe I'd look for my partner to tell me if I'm going crazy. There's a chance that I kill it either way or run away while screaming.

      And how would I know it is not malicious, demonic, or manipulative?

      I might call the police, a priest, or the exterminator. Or leave the house completely.

      If I was a child, I might indulge in magical thinking. But I'm an adult, to me the boundaries of the possible are tangible. Reality and imagination inhabit completely distinct worlds.

      This is not a movie where characters suddenly overcome their apprehensions to expediently advance the plot. In all cases, I don't believe I would have a calm and enlightening conversation with the fairy.

      10 votes
  4. [3]
    Trobador
    Link
    I'll go with a simpler reasoning than most here: walruses are massive, and a massive living thing with huge teeth on my doorstep would probably surprise me more than a fairy. But a fairy would...

    I'll go with a simpler reasoning than most here: walruses are massive, and a massive living thing with huge teeth on my doorstep would probably surprise me more than a fairy. But a fairy would lead to a lot more questions.

    15 votes
    1. updawg
      Link Parent
      I'm sorry but I think you are just using the wrong word here, which is very problematic in such an important hypothetical scenario. It seems that you would be more startled by the walrus, but you...

      I'm sorry but I think you are just using the wrong word here, which is very problematic in such an important hypothetical scenario. It seems that you would be more startled by the walrus, but you would be more surprised by the fairy.

      13 votes
    2. tanglisha
      Link Parent
      You make a good point with size. I have terrible vision, I might not actually see the fairy.

      You make a good point with size. I have terrible vision, I might not actually see the fairy.

      5 votes
  5. [2]
    pete_the_paper_boat
    Link
    Neither, both are a common occurrence.

    Neither, both are a common occurrence.

    9 votes
    1. chocobean
      Link Parent
      Do you live in a Dwarf Fortress style seaside biome? What about fairy walruses? The Forgotten Beast Tinkerbertha Has Come! A great flying walrus. It has two sword-like tusks, and it belches...

      Do you live in a Dwarf Fortress
      style seaside biome? What about fairy walruses?

      The Forgotten Beast 
      Tinkerbertha Has Come!     
      A great flying walrus. 
      It has two sword-like tusks, 
      and it belches poisonous clouds of 
      unfriendly bacteria. 
      Its wings are dainty and sparkling. 
      Beware its bite!
      
      11 votes
  6. Deely
    Link
    Real fairy on my doorstep will change my view of the world forever. Fact that fairies exists opens the possibility for existing of magic, and magic is a gigantic world-view twisting thing that...

    Real fairy on my doorstep will change my view of the world forever.
    Fact that fairies exists opens the possibility for existing of magic, and magic is a gigantic world-view twisting thing that directly contradicts of all my previous assumption about this world.

    Walrus probably just a prank or zoo accident.

    9 votes
  7. NoblePath
    Link
    It depends on whether it’s a Tinkerbell type fairy, Elrond type, or sookie stackhouse type, or some other type I don’t know about. But as @thereticent pointed out, under any circumstances, a...

    It depends on whether it’s a Tinkerbell type fairy, Elrond type, or sookie stackhouse type, or some other type I don’t know about.

    But as @thereticent pointed out, under any circumstances, a walrus is just unreasonable.

    7 votes
  8. [2]
    legogizmo
    Link
    Everyone is commenting on how fairies don't exist, yet it is a common term for a gay man. So between a gay guy and a walrus, the walrus is definitely more surprising.

    Everyone is commenting on how fairies don't exist, yet it is a common term for a gay man.

    So between a gay guy and a walrus, the walrus is definitely more surprising.

    7 votes
    1. Akir
      Link Parent
      There was a time in my life when I would have liked that kind of fairy to show up at my doorstep. But nowadays it feels like something has to go spectacularly wrong to warrant people showing up in...

      There was a time in my life when I would have liked that kind of fairy to show up at my doorstep. But nowadays it feels like something has to go spectacularly wrong to warrant people showing up in person at my place. :(

      6 votes
  9. Akir
    Link
    A walrus. I’ve never seen a fairy before, so I wouldn’t recognize what it is. It would take me a while to piece together what I saw, at which point it would have flown away. I will have never...

    A walrus.

    I’ve never seen a fairy before, so I wouldn’t recognize what it is. It would take me a while to piece together what I saw, at which point it would have flown away. I will have never really confirmed it were a fairy.

    On the other hand if it were a walrus I would see that there is a large animal that can kill me and even if I were to lock the door it’s probably strong enough to break it down, so it would invite immediate panic.

    4 votes
  10. knocklessmonster
    Link
    A walrus would surprise me. Nothing that requires me to accept the existence of fairies compares to the surprise I would feel with a walrus schlepping itself across 12 miles of suburban hellscape...

    A walrus would surprise me. Nothing that requires me to accept the existence of fairies compares to the surprise I would feel with a walrus schlepping itself across 12 miles of suburban hellscape from the nearest zoo, if it even has walruses.

    I would accept a fairy, a walrus would raise too many questions.

    4 votes
  11. RheingoldRiver
    Link
    I think a walrus, as I would be terrified for my life. A fairy would cause me to be surprised progressively, like, "what is this animated sculpture doing here?" "omg it looks so lifelike" "wtf how...

    I think a walrus, as I would be terrified for my life. A fairy would cause me to be surprised progressively, like, "what is this animated sculpture doing here?" "omg it looks so lifelike" "wtf how good is cgi??" "hmm is this a dream...?" etc

    3 votes
  12. chocobean
    Link
    Next question: your pick of the more surprising, compared with a Ferry nearly at your doorstep, moving at an extremely slow but non zero velocity. The desert fathers living in caves with nothing...

    Next question: your pick of the more surprising, compared with a Ferry nearly at your doorstep, moving at an extremely slow but non zero velocity.


    The desert fathers living in caves with nothing to their names, they usually have a simply method for magical beings visiting them: they know themselves to be not especially holy and insignificant, and therefore visitors, however shining and beautiful and radiant though they appear, are demons in disguise. Shut the door on them and refuse to engage. Repeat. Go back to prayers and fasting (there's no more alms giving as they have already given away everything).

    2 votes
  13. MechanicalMagpie
    Link
    A walrus. I'd be concerned if i found one of the fair folk on my doorstep, I'd be a little bit worried because while they may not lie, they do not play fair. And i do not especially want to be...

    A walrus.

    I'd be concerned if i found one of the fair folk on my doorstep, I'd be a little bit worried because while they may not lie, they do not play fair. And i do not especially want to be Noticed. Being Noticed never leads good places.

    A walrus though? A terrifying death machine that could crush me without a second thought? Who lives nowhere near me? I would be incredibly surprised as walruses lack the opposable thumbs necessary to idk. Drive to my residence, as it's not especially close to a waterway large enough to support a walrus.

    2 votes
  14. Hollow
    Link
    Certainly a walrus. Fairies are fictional and I'd almost immediately conclude it was an advertising gimmick or prank video with a drone - an 'other people problem'. A entire walrus is incredibly...

    Certainly a walrus. Fairies are fictional and I'd almost immediately conclude it was an advertising gimmick or prank video with a drone - an 'other people problem'. A entire walrus is incredibly hard and in someone's doorway impossible to get past, and the fishy smell is unbearable. It would occupy far more of my brain space trying to solve the problem and wondering how the hell one got ten storeys up an inland apartment building.

    2 votes