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21 votes
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Fertility rates are falling in the rich world. But there are still plenty of people to go round.
21 votes -
The life-ruining power of routines: Habits don’t lead to personal optimisation. They lead to suffering.
32 votes -
Dating apps have gotten so bad that speed dating is in again
45 votes -
Romantic love is an under-rated driver of gender equality
19 votes -
Weekly thread for casual chat and photos of pets
This is the place for casual discussion about our pets. Photos are welcome, show us your pet(s) and tell us about them!
10 votes -
On International Women's Day, Northern European countries stand out for women who are looking to develop their careers – Iceland secured the top spot
3 votes -
NEXT Life Sciences announces successful clinical evaluation of the delivery method for Plan A contraception for men
25 votes -
Bertrand Russell's message for future generations
9 votes -
Denmark has pledged to put up more statues of women, with the country's culture minister saying the capital has “more statues of mythical beasts and horses”
12 votes -
One in four school-starters in England and Wales not toilet-trained, say teachers
40 votes -
Ever more undocumented Indians risk everything on illegal routes to reach US
11 votes -
Liberty University hit with record fines for failing to handle complaints of sexual sssault, other crimes
17 votes -
I fixed my dryer myself
Came home today and found wet clothes in the dryer. Which was weird because earlier, I had found the same load in there wet and just thought I had forgotten to start the dryer. Low and behold,...
Came home today and found wet clothes in the dryer. Which was weird because earlier, I had found the same load in there wet and just thought I had forgotten to start the dryer. Low and behold, when I stood and watched it, about ten seconds after starting it, it started beeping and gave out an F01 error code.
While googling it, it seemed that the code meant the relay electronics board had failed and needed to be replaced. I thought, I can probably do that, but the board seemed to be more than $150, which is more than the callout fee on our home warranty ($125). But what we most needed was a working dryer!
While looking for the exact price and a source to order the board, I found this video describing a simple fix for a blown solder connection. I unplugged the washer, opened it up, and the board was blown in the exact same spot as in the video. I soldered a jumper in, put it back together, and lo and behold, the dryer runs!
I have an undergraduate degree in electrical engineering, even though it hasn't been my day job in a long time. So I could at least evaluate the plausibility of the fix, and I had the tools and know-how to do the soldering. So definitely not a fix for everyone.
Money is tight right now, so fixing the dryer for $0 (and in half an hour no less) was big for us. Sometimes you need a win, and today was a day I really needed one!
What fixes around the house are you most proud of, saved you some money, or kept a piece of equipment out of the landfill?
78 votes -
Notes on conciseness
30 votes -
UK academic’s Wikipedia project raises profile of women around the world
15 votes -
What's the matter with men? They’re floundering at school and in the workplace. Some conservatives blame a crisis of masculinity, but the problems—and their solutions—are far more complex.
51 votes -
The cheapest cocaine on Earth?
9 votes -
How a woman named “Steve” became one of Britain’s most celebrated IT pioneers, entrepreneurs, and philanthropists
13 votes -
Weekly thread for casual chat and photos of pets
This is the place for casual discussion about our pets. Photos are welcome, show us your pet(s) and tell us about them!
10 votes -
A professor claimed to be Native American. Did she know she wasn’t?
25 votes -
A university professor reflects about time management
7 votes -
US regulatory agencies take steps to fight non compete clauses in employment contracts
18 votes -
Harbor Freight cannot easily develop their own flesh detection table saw
28 votes -
Meet the Henriksen family, where all three children were born on consequent bissextile years – the most siblings born on a Leap Day in history
6 votes -
'White party' in Sri Lanka cancelled after backlash. Organizer apologizes.
14 votes -
Arizona attorney general sues landlords and software company RealPage Inc over 'astronomical' apartment rent hikes
34 votes -
Return to office policies do not improve company value, but do make employees miserable: Study
83 votes -
How your family shapes your body image
6 votes -
$1 billion donation will provide free tuition at a Bronx medical school
21 votes -
Three long-term effects of a "plastic wrap parenting" style
21 votes -
The 24-hour city: In a push to bolster nightlife, cities are changing laws to keep bars, restaurants and transit systems operating round-the-clock
34 votes -
House hunting tips for a millennial who's never owned one
I'm starting the process of looking to buy a house. My partner uses a power wheelchair and anything we buy is going to need to be accessible or modifiable. So I know we're looking for a ranch,...
I'm starting the process of looking to buy a house. My partner uses a power wheelchair and anything we buy is going to need to be accessible or modifiable. So I know we're looking for a ranch, probably 3/2 at most is what will be affordable but I'm finalizing my pre-approval now.
That said... I'm almost 40 and I've never bought a house before. What are some things I need to know when looking at a house? I have a realtor and we're looking at our first place tomorrow. I'm bringing a measuring tape because the accessibility will matter.
But I don't even know where to start and what the normal questions are!48 votes -
How do you even find quality appliances anymore?
We bought our house over eight years ago and it came with a number of appliances. Within the first year, both the refrigerator and the dishwasher crapped out on us. We replaced them with new...
We bought our house over eight years ago and it came with a number of appliances. Within the first year, both the refrigerator and the dishwasher crapped out on us. We replaced them with new Frigidaire and Whirlpool models respectively, but I definitely haven't been satisfied with them. Now my washer and dryer are acting up and I'm not sure how much longer they've got.
When our fridge first started giving us issues, we had someone come out to try to fix the existing one. He basically told us that it would be around $400 to replace the failing motherboard on it — and given how simple that fridge was, it was essentially the price of a replacement. So you can't fix anything—you just throw it into a landfill and buy a new one.
The principle of "you get what you pay for" doesn't seem to apply, either. I don't need a fridge that has a 20-inch OLED screen for connecting to a Samsung account. Paying more just seems to get you more features that are likely to cause problems down the road.
Before we bought our replacement dishwasher, I got a subscription to Consumer Reports. The one we got was one of their recommendations. But it's just… not a good dishwasher. Little parts of it keep failing (e.g., the top rack's glassware holder-spine-thingies). And it's leaking, too!
So, to bring it back around to the subject title, how do you even find reliable appliances? Does anyone even make reliable appliances? It seems like there has been a race to the bottom among all of the appliance manufacturers (not that this is a unique to appliances, as this Vox piece explains). Long-term reliability doesn't move units off the showroom floor, so it doesn't get prioritized. (Plus there's the whole economic disincentive for "durable goods" to actually be durable.) And with model numbers changing annually, there's no good way to keep track of which models have proven reliability.
76 votes -
My marriage is non-monogamous, and I am considering approaching a friend to propose a relationship with him. I would appreciate some advice from monogamous people (and reasonable people in general.)
I won't bury the lede - my friend isn't non-monogamous or polyamorous, and that's the crux of the issue. At the least, he has never really considered non-monogamy before. My (31F) marriage is...
I won't bury the lede - my friend isn't non-monogamous or polyamorous, and that's the crux of the issue. At the least, he has never really considered non-monogamy before.
My (31F) marriage is uniquely suited for non-monogamy and has been for ten years strong, and my husband (30M) is entirely comfortable with what I'm proposing here. My biggest concern is the risk to my friend’s (30M) feelings and his perspective. So, before I speak to him about it, rather than seeking advice exclusively from people who practice ENM, I am actually curious what everyone might think of the situation. I also think Tildes probably has the only pool of monogamous people on the internet who would be interested in discussing this topic respectfully and approaching it with curiosity or empathy rather than disgust - I know it's a strange topic for most people.
Essentially, over the past two years I've been spending more and more time with a friend of mine. My husband is a pretty good friend of his, but they are not extremely close or best friends, they know each other through me. My friend doesn't date a lot, and we simply find ourselves drawn to spending a lot of time together, having very long conversations late at night, and doing things like going on a few vacations alone together. We haven't discussed it, but there is an overwhelming sense that we would probably date, had I been single when we met. He's very respectful of me and my marriage, but sometimes we each end up innocently flirting with the other - small compliments about our appearances, comments about how our “love languages” tend to be similar, etc. A few weeks ago he asked me if my husband and I have an open marriage (I don't often share that aspect of my life, my husband and I have been functionally “monogamous” since I've known my friend, and we haven't dated anyone else for quite some time.) I answered by saying that I actually do have an open marriage, yes. His question caught me off guard. I didn't expect him to ever ask because he doesn't seem like the type of person who would be interested in non-monogamy. So, I asked him what he thinks about non-monogamy, and he said he hasn't thought about it much, and has always been monogamous in past relationships. I wanted to think more about what to do next, so at the time I didn't let him know that I was specifically attracted to him.
Certainly, it may be very wise to accept that my friend is likely just monogamous, as most people tend to be, and simply continue on with our normal platonic friendship as it is. However, recently I'm finding it harder to contain my feelings on the matter, and he doesn't exactly make it any easier on me, because I really think he engages as well. Recently a mutual friend asked me if something was going on between us because she noticed him flirting with me. A couple of friends have agreed that the chemistry seems undeniable, so I don't think this is entirely one-sided.
At the least, I think I need to be honest with him that I'm attracted to him and open to some kind of romantic/sexual relationship with him. That way, if he says this makes him uncomfortable, I know I have to adjust my expectations and put proper boundaries in place. Of course, my hope is that he might be interested as well, at which point we can discuss what that would look like, but that's a separate topic because first I want to approach this with caution and respect.
I feel that it's really the sexual element that is up in the air. We already spend a lot of time together, and any purely monogamous person would probably already consider our behavior to be “emotional cheating,” if it happened to their marriage. I don't think most male/female friendships involve endless late night conversations, casual flirting, and prioritizing each other over other friends. To me, adding sex to the relationship seems like a no-brainer since we seem attracted to each other, but obviously most people wouldn't feel the same way.
Also, imagine the same situation, but with the genders flipped. We've all heard stories of unfortunate women who thought they had a great friendship with a man, only to eventually find out that the guy had been pining after her sexually for some time. My worst fear here is making my friend feel like our relationship was shallow, or that I was just trying to get something from him. But I didn't end up here on purpose, I just found myself here somehow - and I also would be more than happy to remain just friends with him if that's what he wants.
What would you think if you were a fairly monogamous person, and your close, non-monogamous friend admitted they have feelings for you? Would you be offended or hurt? Do you think there is a tactful way to bring it up? Would you prefer they never tell you, so you can just continue your friendship as normal, or for them to just move on without you if they can't let go of the idea?
Of course, the only real answer is that I won't know how he feels unless I ask him about it. I just thought I would talk this out with some kind strangers before jumping in. My brain seems quite wired for non-monogamy, and sometimes I struggle to see things from the perspective of monogamous people. Jealousy is not an emotion I have experienced often in relationships. I am flattered when any of my male or female friends admit attraction to me. Some of my friend groups are very queer and/or polyamorous, where behavior like dating your friends or being friends with ex-partners is fairly typical. But this friend is from a part of my life where non-monogamy is not as much of a given. I am also a bit worried about what our monogamous friends would think, as we do spend a lot of time in the same group of friends. I am worried that if he were to meet someone in the future who he wanted a relationship with, the woman wouldn't be comfortable having me around in the group, especially if I am still practicing non-monogamy at the time. I have many worries. Non-monogamy is complex. But mostly, I feel like this could work.
I know some of you are non-monogamous and I'm definitely interested in your thoughts, but I wanted to specify that I'm open to anyone else's take as well.
62 votes -
American teachers are missing more school, and there are too few substitutes
46 votes -
Booktok and the hotgirlification of reading
19 votes -
Setting up and sharpening a saw
6 votes -
Out of the rabbit hole? New research shows people can change their minds about conspiracy theories.
14 votes -
Delaying parenthood via the cryopreservation of live-born children - the unintended consequences of blurring embryonic and human rights
18 votes -
Why joining a club is good for democracy
11 votes -
New US lawsuit claims dating apps designed to turn love seekers into addicts
44 votes -
Is anyone here a consultant? I have questions...
Backstory: Seemingly randomly, I was contacted by a company that saw a comment I made online about a previous area of expertise that they want to venture into and have asked if I'd like to be a...
Backstory: Seemingly randomly, I was contacted by a company that saw a comment I made online about a previous area of expertise that they want to venture into and have asked if I'd like to be a consultant to them.
I've never been a consultant, dealt with them directly, or have any idea what would be expected of me as one. Looking up consultants and consultancies and what they do has provided zero insight as they seem to be purposefully vague or overly broad.
Starter questions (I realize they're vague and I'll have follow up questions as I get a handle on this):
- If you are or have been a consultant, were you independent or part of a firm?
- What do you actually do?
- What did/do you charge for your consultancy services?
22 votes -
How to do things if you're not that smart and don't have any talent
22 votes -
Weekly thread for casual chat and photos of pets
This is the place for casual discussion about our pets. Photos are welcome, show us your pet(s) and tell us about them!
5 votes -
Sweden has consistently reported some of the lowest rates of maternal and child mortality in the world – unfortunately these achievements don't extend to foreign-born mothers
15 votes -
Demonstrators claim lack of affordable housing in Gaeltacht region threatens the survival of the Irish language
13 votes -
Service jobs now require bizarre personality test from AI company - 404 Media investigation of Reddit post trend
43 votes -
What if US public housing were for everyone?
29 votes -
Cousins are disappearing worldwide, according to new study
34 votes