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10 votes
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Why it's cheaper to have a baby in Finland than in the US
11 votes -
The nuclear family was a mistake
14 votes -
New data from Sweden challenges the idea that parents of autistic children refrain from having more children, a practice known as reproductive stoppage
4 votes -
Finland's woman-led center-left government plans to nearly double the length of paternity leave to give new fathers the same amount of paid time off work as new mothers
16 votes -
I worry for my teenage boys – the beauty standards for young men are out of control
28 votes -
Splendid isolation: How I stopped time by sitting in a forest for twenty-four hours
5 votes -
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12 votes -
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8 votes -
America's parents want paid family leave and affordable child care. Why can't they get it?
15 votes -
Why is childcare so expensive?
13 votes -
I showed vintage Mister Rogers to my 21st-century kids
14 votes -
Car seat manufacturers and retailers suggest that secondhand ones are unsafe and that they expire every six years or so, but finding any data that supports this is difficult
16 votes -
On finding the freedom to rage against our fathers
8 votes -
Shame on those who defend the "loving smack": it's just plain violence against children
19 votes -
How ‘safety first’ ethos is destabilizing US society
6 votes -
Eight signs that you're a good parent - even if you think you're not
5 votes -
William and Ida are Denmark's most popular names again
3 votes -
Madelaine Gnewski: ‘Sweden's parental leave may be generous but it's tying women to the home’
8 votes -
"Shona is one of the almost 50 people worldwide known as skyborns—impromptu deliveries who increase the passenger manifest, mid-flight."
4 votes -
Coming of age in cohousing: Growing up communally brings exposure to the world of adults—and lessons in interdependence
7 votes -
After men in Spain got paternity leave, they wanted fewer kids
17 votes -
Making playgrounds a little more dangerous
12 votes -
It’s time to stop referring to maternity leave as “generous”
10 votes -
Secrets of a Maya supermom: What parenting books don't tell you
7 votes -
What happened after my 13-year-old son joined the alt-right
66 votes -
What number of kids makes parents happiest?
7 votes -
World health officials take a hard line on screen time for kids. Will busy parents comply?
8 votes -
The first ever World Health Organisation physical activity guidelines for under-fives, recommend no screen time for one-year-olds and no more than an hour for two- to-four-year-olds
An article on a parenting website: Guidance recommends no screen time for under-twos An article in Time magazine: World Health Organization Issues First-Ever Screen Time Guidelines for Young Kids....
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An article on a parenting website: Guidance recommends no screen time for under-twos
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An article in Time magazine: World Health Organization Issues First-Ever Screen Time Guidelines for Young Kids. Here's What to Know
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The WHO's press release: To grow up healthy, children need to sit less and play more
26 votes -
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The cost of having children - women lose earnings for five years after childbirth
12 votes -
Tickling
19 votes -
How parents are robbing their children of adulthood
18 votes -
Groomed by a grandfather: A mother discovers that her children have been sexually abused by a close relative for years.
3 votes -
How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger
17 votes -
Trying to figure out my personal craziness
I hope this is the appropriate Tilde for this. If no one has any input it will still have helped me to type this out. TL;DR In over my head with marriage, foster care, family, and work. My wife...
I hope this is the appropriate Tilde for this. If no one has any input it will still have helped me to type this out.
TL;DR In over my head with marriage, foster care, family, and work.
My wife and I became foster parents about 1.5 years ago with the intention to not adopt, but to care for children 3 and under while bio parents worked to regain custody or other permanent placements were arranged. Our first placement was two girls (7 mo and 2.5 yrs) despite wanting to do just one kid at a time (especially to start). We had them for 6 weeks and mom got them back. We had another placement (8 mo boy) for about another 6 weeks. There was a considerable lull and we were getting frustrated about not getting any new placements when the girls from our first placement were placed into custody again. So we were able to take them in again (now about 1.2 and 3.5 yrs). FF to now and we've had them for about 6 months.
We never really intended to have more than one child and for quite this long and we're struggling. My wife has always had a little less ability to weather stressful situations like this and these last 2-3 weeks I'm carrying a lot of weight. In the meantime, bio mom has gotten pregnant and there's not another hearing regarding custody for another 9 months. We fully expect that she will not be able to take them back at that time (or really realistically ever). What should probably happen would be that the county could place the kids into permanent custody (basically getting them adopted). However, from what we've heard from other foster families, temporary custody could drag on for years.
So, our main dilemma is this. We are not equipped (as a couple) to care for these kids for years. With the likely prospect of no change in custody in the near future, it feels like the best thing for these kids would be to get them into the care of someone looking to do this long-term, perhaps to eventually adopt. That being said, we absolutely love them and it feels like some kind of betrayal to force them to make yet another transition. On the other hand, with our limitations, it seems like that is inevitable anyway. Do we try to make that happen sooner?
Some other data points:
Our fostering license expires in October (about a month after the hearing is scheduled) and we don't intend to continue fostering (at least for a while, and definitely not with our current agency).
We don't have many family members close by to give us a hand with the kids, making us feel isolated and making it hard to get breaks from the kids. Our agency has not been very helpful with lining up respite care, but we're trying to be more aggressive about that now.
I've got things pretty well lined up to retire in about 5 years. My company is also just now kicking off a major project of a similar time frame and I'm in a good position to really make a mark before moving on. It will probably require some serious time commitments and effort to do it the way I want to.Thanks for listening.
12 votes -
When a Newton family welcomed a baby who is deaf, twenty neighbors learned sign language
10 votes -
How to grant your child an inner life
8 votes -
Let children get bored again
23 votes -
In the era of spellcheck and auto-correct, does it matter that my son can’t spell?
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Father-daughter relationships strengthened with these three connectors
5 votes -
The relentlessness of modern parenting
12 votes -
The invisible experiences of first-time Gen-X mothers
4 votes -
Family matters: Why a 27-year-old Canadian woman chose to be single and pregnant
5 votes -
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11 votes -
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7 votes -
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3 votes -
Baby box safety doubts raised by experts
5 votes -
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14 votes -
'We need to know the sex. If it’s a girl we are going to terminate it'
25 votes -
When a DNA test reveals your daughter is not your biological child
11 votes