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How do you counter pessimism?
This is actually two questions in one:
- How do you counter pessimism in yourself?
How do you keep yourself from sliding into cynicism? Seeing the worst in things? Finding fault everywhere? Losing hope?
- How do you counter pessimism in others?
When someone’s sharing their pessimism with you, it can feel dismissive or even hostile to go against it. It can feel unempathetic to do anything but corroborate or validate their feelings, even if you feel they’re inaccurate or misguided. How do you respond without sliding into pessimism yourself?
I do see the worst in things and find fault everywhere. I can't change that. I might say that my ability to identify "areas of improvement" is central to my drive to get useful things done. I don't see the purpose in hiding that when I can harness it. I'm still capable of experiencing positive thoughts.
My goal is to channel pessimistic feelings in a productive way. When I see a problem I look for a way to learn more about it and then fix it, or at least raise awareness about it. I try very hard not to idly complain about a problem unless I have a relatively specific solution, or at least a way to investigate a solution.
In other people? If someone is speaking pessimistically to me about some problem they are personally experiencing, I know better than to try to "solve" their problems in the moment. I guess I would prefer to model a kind of attitude that does not dwell on these things, or does not get upset about accidentally dwelling on them, and if they want to follow that model, they're welcome to. On the internet, if someone makes a pessimistic remark about something to which I know there exist solutions, I will share those solutions in as actionable a way as I can. If they don't want to take action, that's their problem.
I do not know much about anything except that which I do know, which is little. So this habit is only useful to the extent that myself or other people are being pessimistic about something relatively well-defined. When I am in an inescapable situation out of which I cannot identify an inkling of a pathway (because a "solution" cannot exist to an undefined problem), I become restless and usually disengage, which is not great. The only way out of a solution-driven mindset is to be content with things as they are in the present moment, which would be nice, but I don't know, I don't think my work is done yet.
"Losing hope" is a recurring challenge for the kinds of problems I am personally interested in, which are universally political in scope and therefore beyond my individual ability to solve. I suppose it helps to surround oneself with people who are not extremely pessimistic, or who are at least interested in practical ideas like me, because it reminds me that all is not lost. Or it helps just to think about other things for a while, because there is always more to life, problems or otherwise.
I'm not religious, but the serenity prayer has always come in handy for me in that regard:
I struggle often with wondering what is "enough" when it comes to trying to make things better in the world. Because for many problems, it feels like I could pour everything I have into something and have no impact. But what I try to always do is not walk past a problem that I can do something about. I don't think I'll ever fully get over my anxiety about the big stuff, and I hope that someday I will find a way to make a bigger different, but I comfort myself with the small stuff in the mean time.
Whenever I feel myself backsliding into pessimism, cynicism, or start losing hope for the future I go back and watch Hans Rosling's TED Talks on historical global statistics to help put everything back in perspective. From an old comment of mine:
And when I encounter other people who are overly pessimistic, those TED Talks are usually what I share with them. :)
Thank you for sharing this. It really is very uplifting.
YVW! Since you enjoyed it, I would highly recommend checking out his other TED Talks too. They're all equally as enlightening and uplifting. And his posthumously published book, Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World – and Why Things Are Better Than You Think, is great as well. :)
YVW most likely means "You're Very Welcome". Sharing so others don't have to Google like me :P
Can confirm, that's what it means. :)
You have to follow cynicism and pessimism to their logical conclusions. You can't be negative and then stop halfway. Keep thinking.
What I mean is this:
Think about the horrific stuff happening all over the world and then take a minute to think about how that could be happening to you - right here, right now. Look at your heated home, your comfy chair, your electronics, and your loved ones. Now practice your first round of gratitude. I can't say for sure, but I bet the people being bombed right now would say, "Be grateful this isn't happening to you." So do that - be grateful.
Now, think worst case. Realize the chair you love will go to the garbage someday, your pets will die, your loved ones will die or leave you - unless you die first, that is. This is absolutely, 100% guaranteed. It's literally the only thing we can predict with certainty - entropy, death, and loss.
Then look around again and realize that's not now. You have these things now. Don't miss them when they're gone, miss and appreciate them now. You're in the good old days right now.
When you lose one of these things, do this process again. Realize you now have other things that will also end up this way. If you lose your marriage, hopefully you have someone or something else to be grateful for in the now. Be thankful for the flu you don't have as you go to work. Because when you do have that flu, you'll say, "Today would be so much better if I wasn't sick." Be grateful for the funeral you aren't going to today, or the late-night-bad-news phone call you didn't get last night.
Pessimism is just realism without the gratitude part. Ever hear someone say, "if there is a Devil, there must be a God?" Well, regardless of whether that's true, this argument is much the same. If there are things to be cynical about, there must be infinitely more things to be thankful for - unless literally every bad thing ever is happening to you all at once.
I have seen video where destitute people in war zones give thanks for the sweatshirt they found in the garbage. I have read books where people in concentration camps gave thanks for the joke they heard from a fellow prisoner. If they can find things to be grateful for, so can we!
Thanks this helps motivate me not just say "I'm thankful" and helps remind me that I need to cultivate that feeling longer than half a second. It's easy for me to be thankful cognitively but feel nothing and I need to build gratitude as a skill and emotion, not just a thought.
Thank you.
How do I counter pessimism in myself?
I have 2 main methods for countering it in myself: activity and community.
In activities I look for either endorphins or delayed satisfaction. I realized my mood is awful during periods when I'm injured and realized I'm a bit of a junkie when it comes to natural endorphins. I'm much more primed to slip into depressing youtube or news rabbit holes when i don't exercise and much more prone to arguments. In short I'm not a real pleasant person to be around. But when I've gotten outside, even for a short bike ride or hike, my whole demeanor and outlook is different. And god forbid I have a day of stacked exercise heavy activities I love, I just about lose my noodle. I've got a permanent smile. I gush over just about everything. There is no other way to put it, I'm freaking high! I think that covers the short term and makes me feel optimistic about immediate things. Life for the time being is beautiful. Sometimes I think perspective, be it optimistic or pessimistic, is really just brain chemistry and expectations meeting.
For the long term it's activities that give me more of a sense of contentment. This can be something artistic or crafty, where I'm building to a final product. Something to be proud of. A table I made for my mom. A wreath made of found goods. A tangible outcome from time spent at something. It's really satisfying! In some cases there is overlap where the tangible change is my own abilities. I injured my hand so I can't rock climb, my normal endorphin pursuit, so I started open ocean swimming with a friend. It's been about 2 weeks but it's so excited to go further each day. To push into areas that really scare me (deep water or areas that recently had shark attacks). I still bob around like a moron and run into my friend over and over when I lose my bearing, but I can feel myself changing and it gives me a strong sense of satisfaction. It makes me feel like if I can build the small things or improve the things I want then I can tackle larger problems in my life.
The other part of it is has more to do with external issues. The climate crisis. Political polarization and the rise of the right wing. Systematic aggregation of wealth. Those issues can send me into a spiral or a rage. My antidote to that is community. Sometimes it takes the form of cathartic venting over beers with a friend or screaming expletives into the wind as I cycle through stupidly wealthy neighborhoods (the kind of neighborhood that is filled with peoples 10th, 11th, or 20th homes, the uber wealthy). It's reinforcing that there are other people who share my values and care about the community we live in. Tildes is a great example of that and to be honest kfwyre you are a big part of that. I see your patience, understanding, and warmth and try to replicate it myself. It gives me hope that folks out there are trying to make the world better and so I'd like to try too.
Lastly, it's finding larger communities that make me feel like change is possible because so many really amazing people are trying to solve the big, complex issues. My work focuses on biodiversity and environmental conservation and, as lame as conferences can be, I get sooooo jazzed up by talking to people trying to solve the same issues I'm working on but through different lenses. Finance. Technology. Community engagement. It makes me feel less alone and more like there is a wave of us against the problems. It can be incredibly liberating.
How do I counter pessimism in others?
This is way tougher, and to some degree my answer is it's not your responsibility. You can't make people happy or optimistic. Largely it's a perspective or outlook. But you can't try to lighten their gaze, particularly if that person is a permanent feature in your life. I invite them into the circles I have made and give them room to try out my methods for themselves. Having a community can do wonders for anyone.
There is a concept in ecology called "bright spots". It's the areas where active intervention or regulation change have had a positive impact and recovery is happening. There is a big movement in science communication to move away from the doomerism that has gripped the climate change movement for the last decade and focus on the various systematic ways we can make marked improvements. I think this is important with everything in life. If all you see if the shit being smeared on the walls of the metaphoric public toilet - and right now there is a lot of shit being smeared on the walls - then you miss the fact that they just added a bidet and expanded the public toilet program. We shouldn't ignore the problems, but if they feel insurmountable then people tend to give up. So if you can share some hope with pessimistic people in your life maybe they'll slowly come around.
Everyone here has fantastic, detailed answers that they’ve managed to put into words. I don’t think I can do the same, but I can point to an example that resonates with me and that I’ve chosen to try to adopt.
Everything Everywhere All at Once
It’s an absolutely excellent film, and I saw it three or four times in the cinema when it came out. It’s powerfully emotional, and one of the main concepts the movie addresses is nihilism and what you can use to counter it. I wholeheartedly recommend it.
I don't have any specific advice, but I would say it's worth being mindful of a difference between pessimism and cynicism. Pessimism is related to one's belief of how the world factually is and will likely be in the future. In theory one can come to a negative assessment of the world and where it's going but ultimately believe that there's opportunity for change. A cynic, though, takes the axiomatic stance that things are shitty and will incorporate any new information through that lens. I don't think pessimism is inherently bad and may even be desirable in some cases. Cynicism is rarely justified, unless you're on to something truly profound.
I tend to take history into account. The immense progress humankind achieved in a few thousand years is astounding in many areas. Pessimists sometimes give too much importance to localized trends. It is helpful to think in the long run.
I look with hope at younger generations, which are in many ways an improvement to when I was younger.
I do not find it difficult to be optimistic because, in many cases, that is simply the reasonable alternative.
I try to control myself in my impulse to counter pessimism in others. That is not a good use of my time. Cinicysm is incredibly appealing, and, in a sense, reassuring. Even smart people can be caught in a form of circular reasoning. I have noticed that pessimists are prone to engage in fatalist loops that are generally substantiated by a strong belief in deterministic worldviews. Some will say you cannot escape culture. Others, biology. Any objection, valid or otherwise, is simply incorporated into the circle as a supposed consequence of their deterministic factor of choice. Further objections will only lead the "opponent" to reiterate their initial thesis in different forms, with no additional content.
A staunch pessimist can be understood as someone who is committed to avoiding disappointment. Pessimism and cynicism provide a sense of security and comfort. Love, sympathy, and understanding are immensely more effective than trying to tear down the fortress they built to protect themselves from hope.
(Sorry this reply may have broadened to beyond pessimism!)
For 2., I think it's important to try to understand/appreciate where the pessimism is coming from. You may not share or understand their pessimism, or know how to respond to it, but something impacted them enough to cause the pessimism. That thing mattered to them.
(I think, meaning what I would have liked other people to have tried for me. I'm not speaking from a lot of experience or success responding to pessimism in others.)
Some personal rambling
I used to have a very hard time talking about my past and my feelings. I had a friend who spent a lot of time listening to me (it took me a long time to start to open up). But he never responded to any of the negative things I told him, he'd just point me in positive directions instead.I get 'distracted' easily in social situations. Positive things are pleasant, easy to focus on and socially acceptable to talk about, so I tended to just go along with it. But that obscures the problems which will reemerge later.
What my friend did was only listening in a very superficial way: just making time to be present. It was actually deeply and sneakily invalidating in another way, essentially saying my problems weren't even significant.
I wish I had better answers to 1. I'm in a much better place now but I still have many bad days. ~2 years ago I lucked into a change in environment, a place of psychological safety. I think that's been the single biggest help, moreso than all the self-help I've tried to work through (self-help is still very useful and it's easier to work on yourself when you have psychological space).
I think community is also important. For a long time, I felt there was no one I could really open up to. (In part because I didn't feel that anyone was properly listening and had enough understanding of where I was coming from. In part because I had a hard time talking about my past and putting my feelings into words.) It's difficult to counter pessimism in yourself when you're already stuck in it and your only reference point is yourself.
These are not easy. A change in environment is normally expensive. I think online communities (not just Tildes) helped me talk more, but I got lucky too and recently made a few new friends who have been listening. And you might know what kinds of environments and friends you don't want, but how do you know what would be good?
One of my new friends has been pointing me to more people.
It was also just having more things to be optimistic about. e.g. seeing my garden grow and harvesting from it. Getting more and more of the day back, getting more done each day. Meeting more and more people who listen and respond. Better understanding how to connect with people. But all this required the first two.
These are really important questions, was thinking more about them.
Some of the other posters talked about finding/sharing hope in small and/or general ways. e.g. gratitude for the little joys in life, the world being on a positive trajectory in many directions. I can, in the moment, shift focus to something positive and appreciate it for a while. These things can brighten my day a little, but they don't give me hope for my unrelated and bigger problems.
Timasomo was helpful for me! In part because I managed to work past lots of difficulties I had in the past. (My project was really about this rather than what I made.) And folks came to help, which was encouraging and awesome.
It was easy for me to remain optimistic because I didn't have a big or specific end goal in mind (at least in the beginning). I mainly wanted to keep starting and keep making progress rather than e.g. overthink, or stop for too long after getting stuck.
There's a lot of in-depth, quality writing here on Tildes, and I wonder if that created an implicit expectation of how big and polished a project should be.
You tend to feel optimistic when you keep moving forward and see that partial gains are still gains. You tend to feel pessimistic when your goal seems out of reach and you feel you fail by falling short.
Some projects like S P A C E are good whether you've made a little or a lot of. Some folks had a checklist of key steps/milestones, that's a great way to see progress. Some projects are already functional and cool at partial completion. I enjoyed seeing all the progress writeups. And I wish there were smaller projects too, e.g. craft projects that could be made in a weekend.
Just some thoughts that could be relevant for next year's Timasomo, that could maybe encourage more folks to participate.
For countering pessimism in myself, I have a more delusional way of handling it. Basically, I like Star Trek. I like the general hopeful, accepting, competent feel of Star Trek. It's supposed to be somewhat utopian far into the future.
But you know, in Star Trek lore, there's going to be World War 3, Eugenics Wars (although I think we've passed the date for that?) and many other terrible things that would happen before things for a lot better for humanity.
So basically, I just delusinally hold onto the belief that humanity and things will get better. But there's a big chance that I just wouldn't see it in my lifetime.
But somehow that's not depressing to me. You still try to recycle and donate and so what you think is good while accepting that you might not see the results of it in your lifetime. It's the whole plant a tree for the next generation sort of thing.
Then when it comes to myself, for my own personal life. I sometimes try to think of how you can react to things in a competent and reasonable manner like the characters in the show.
And my life isn't all that great now and I do get depressed but I still have this dumb delusional thought that it will pass and it will be okay. Just think about how this particular character would have handled it. Yes. Because I can't handle it otherwise.
But how do you deal with it in others? I just listen to them, ask questions, find out where the pessimism is coming from. Try to understand why they think the way they do and try to validate and relate.
And after sufficient amount of relating, I would then tell them how I think about the same situation which isn't as pessimistic. But it isn't put in a way that my way is better.
It's more wow it's interesting that we're very different people and react differently. And explain my view and specify that it is just how I think of it and it is not necessarily objective reality.
And then validate their feelings again. You don't have to validate their conclusion but you can validate feelings about a situation.
I have no idea if this is a good way to handle it though. But I'm pretty close friends with some cynical/pessimistic people and they've not booted me yet.
Wow. I have to say, I have been in therapy myself for a couple of month, and the way you handle communicating with others is exactly what my therapist has been teaching me to do. Ask questions, just try to understand their vantage point. She doesn't phrase it as "validating" their viewpoint, but as making them feel heard. Where you describe what you're actually doing when you say "validate them", you hit exactly what she has been teaching me to do. So, hopefully that's some validation to you that you do seem to be handling this in a good way. It's healthy, especially for you, but also for others. You don't have to share the same opinion, but you should respect that they hold it. Don't try to change it; just try to understand it while maintaining your own opinions.
Outside of what you wrong about, for me, one of the biggest life changes has been having a kid. I know that's not in the cards for everyone, but even volunteering with children could accomplish the similar things, and almost any kid could benefit from the help of an adult who genuinely wants to care about them. I was basically a misanthrope for my teenage years (20 years ago) and I in no way want my child to have that same outlook. I now realize how unhealthy it was. How it prevented me from being the person I want to be, and how I hamstrung myself just trying to figure out what I wanted to be before I would try anything. Seeing the worst parts of yourself reflected back at you by a toddler can really open your eyes if you are willing to see it for what it is. All that said, I think most parents aren't willing to see it, and try to justify that it's appropriate behavior for an adult but not a child.
She's the tree I have planted for the next generation, and I will spend my days caring for her, and teaching her how to grow into something better than I can even hope to be myself.
That struck a note with me. It’s a challenge to not react when your worst traits come out of your kid. There’s something deeply triggering about it. Mine is away at college now, and for the last few years of HS we were actually able to joke about how much I projected my fears onto whatever her circumstances were. Healthy jesting about the projection- often with me ending it by mock- Re-realizing “oh, that’s right- we are separate people” - or me starting a sentence with- “as an extension of me, your job is to…”
Sometimes the best you can do is - as some say across the pond - take the piss out of it.
I'm at the point in my life where every attempt to "not fall into pessimism" that's been presented to me normally has only made my life worse. This is how I addressed it, and it's going to make me sound cold and detached.
For Question One: Personally? I just remind myself that my perspective is merely a series of chemical reactions in my brain. I follow that up with a reminder that humans force every issue through their personal perspective, meaning that if I'm seeing things pessimistically, it's a result of previous experiences that would result me to develop that perspective. Then I remind myself that I am ultimately meaningless in the grand scheme of anything, and that pessimism is entirely meaningless under that lens. After all, the universe will do what it will, and my feelings about the matter will not impact that whatsoever. I back that up with some fatalism, to remind myself that it genuinely does not matter what I say or do, so I might as well make peace with it.
It's not at all the "normal and healthy" way to deal with it, but honestly I think that being as catastrophically depressed as I am does unfortunately mean that I need to exist this way. Ultimately, a good majority of my issues are a result of people and society being unconducive to my existence, and I can't control that. What I can do, is continuously lower my expectations of others, and approach this world from a perspective of utter fatalism. The alternative would be to actively cull every energy-exhaustive relationship from my life, (i.e. all of them) and possibly regionally relocate, which I'd rather not do. This really sounds overdramatic, but I'm just at that point. I'm exhausted from saying "hey, I need XYZ" only to get X or Y, or nothing. People don't listen to me, and it's just easier to detach from it all at this point. I don't care enough to continue to scream for help, because somehow that would be more exhausting.
Just don't feel hope in the first place. It's just an easy way to set yourself up to be hit twice as hard.
For the Second Question? Take a lesson from improv. "Yes And?" and/or "But why though?". Pessimism does have a logical end point, and if you make a person go down the line to find it, they may have the ability to move past it.
Take something simple: "Hating Mondays" leads to "Their Job Sucks" because "the principles of global capitalism don't value the human condition." (I could keep going but then you get into theories of history, psychology, and political science.)
Any point can eventually be taken to the logical conclusion. People express pessimistic beliefs because they have a belief, incorrect or not, that a negative outcome will happen to something. Well, the thing is, life will probably go on, after the outcome. Whether this is good or bad is entirely a personal perspective on the outcome. Taking people to this conclusion helps free them from the cycle of constantly stressing about things.
You don't even need to corroborate with them. Just make them work themselves through their own thought process. You don't need to agree or disagree with any of it. Honestly feeling like you need to do anything about other people's pessimism is such a selfish thing to do. You're either going to invalidate their logical conclusions, or you're going to have to worry about internalizing them yourself. So don't. Let them get to the point that "life will go on."
Or just steer the conversation towards a positive. People like pets. Pets are cute. That's usually my goto.
As someone also in the depths of a pretty deep depression- it helped me to start calling it an existential crisis.
For some reason- maybe even just using fancier words - it helped me to depersonalize it just a bit and make it more into just a quest to find some meaning again. A quest many people have had to take.
Fwiw. Ymmv.
I don't counter it. Basically I allow it to keep my expectations and hope at zero in such a way that any progress feels positive. I prefer it this way. I suppose I transmute it somewhat into anger-fueled action (in small ways where I feel I can have an effect), but ultimately I expect nothing to improve and everything to suck and just do my best to try to improve what I can instead of responding to that feeling by fully giving up. Hopelessness but not pointlessness. Nihilism with a side of purpose, somehow. Expect the worst but do what I can regardless.
I try to manage my expectations. When you aren't upset by and deeply disappointed in your setbacks it's easier to deal with them constructively. Additionally, identifying what I can do to prevent or mitigate some potential failure that bothers me as soon as possible helps a lot. If there's nothing I can do, I try not to think about it too much.
As for helping others, I tend to comfort and distract with humor. Many bad things have some absurd angle that's ripe for jokes.
It's good to keep in mind that pessimism is useful to some extent. It should be managed, not eliminated. Pessimism helps us prepare for contingencies, and nicely complements optimism when social groups solve problems. Finding faults is great, so long as they concern you and you can do anything about them.
Zen and absurdism.
I'm very pessimistic about the world but usually fairly optimistic when it comes to my own situations. I think for me, it came down to knowing that approaching a situation with pessimism too early is almost a situation likely to become negative even if it's wasn't originally going to be. I never wanted my negative viewpoint of the world to make me a "bitter" person, even when I was a teen. I had to learn to act on pessimism, which was difficult, as my view of the world was that I wanted to assume the best out of people-- because the idea of them giving their best only for me to be the one who turned away from them was kind of sad to me. I couldn't handle the idea of a world that operated according to my negative understanding for a long time, if that makes says. It was easier, in some ways, to live in denial and get hurt and take blame than to be someone who judged others.
I also cope by putting things in my own hands. It's not bad to be negative if you're constructive in your delivery. If someone can make it better, then I can make it better. (Of course, that's also the kind of situation that leads you to be immensely unhappy down the road.)
I usually respond to pessimism as factually as I can. With some people, you know they need affirmations. But where it's possible, I like to deal in facts and trying to interpret the situation in a way they may not see. For example, a friend of mine was complaining about dating. I told her 1) she is lovable and 2) the way people you barely know treat you says a lot more about them than you. They barely know you, so mistreatment of others is just what they do and says nothing about you. (I gave her my own personal experience too.) To me (I know this is not everyone), facts are more powerful, because when I'm pessimistic I often feel clearminded and almost disgusted by pure sentiment.
More generally, I'd actually talked about this with a friend a few weeks ago. My response to them was:
The first is a clear mindset change. The second is a situation (possibly of your own creation) that forces you into pessimism because you see nothing else. You need to create things in your life to bring you joy and happiness; doing only things you hate will naturally make you negative even if you're the happiest person. I do think the first situation can create the second, in a sort of self-fulfillment prophecy.
Excellent questions! I found struggling with these myself some time ago.
This one gets as subjective, mysterious and esoteric as it can sometimes! We first need to ask ourselves what's the source of our pessimism? Are things really that worse or are we trying to seek perfection in an imperfect world? Are we trying to find order in chaos, are we expecting too much from this world? Remember that barely two centuries ago, even city-states weren't centralized in most parts of this world, we humans were no better than barbarians just ushered out of the middle ages! Society takes time to evolve, that time could be too long sometimes, decades, centuries, millennia even. I can almost guarantee we will never be able to see the kind of perfectionism that we envisage actually materialize in our lifetimes.
But materialize it will for sure, because the general trajectory is still good. Plus we have time on our side. As much havoc as we have played with the climate and environment, there is still time to realize the mistakes and take the u-turns.
Again way too subjective. What kind of belief system and world view you have matters a lot here. You don't have to be an absolutely religious person but having a spiritual window open often helps. Some might find it unbelievable but sometimes, I see hope and positivism in the simplest and most trivial of things, things like a very delicious recipe, for example. Again, a matter of expectations, world view and how you see yourself and the world.
I try not to generally. Everyone has their own life path and karma, it's neither possible nor desirable to impose one's own views on others. Nevertheless, if they explicitly ask me about it, I say these same things that I told you.
Personally, I see Sentimentality as an answer to cynicism. My cynical self often likes to point to the pointlessness of things, and he's not always wrong. He can be made wrong though, if I engage in an act of imbuing something with meaning. If it's important to me, it's important enough.
With respect to other people, I try to leverage the power of relationships to get past a cynical perspective. Tapping into both my own deliberate sense of sentimentality and theirs, in an effort to pull them toward that act of meaning-making. I try to do stuff that involves them and shows them im paying attention to their preferences, because I want them to feel connected to something. That feeling of connection, at least I've come to believe, really helps offset some of the really negative aspects of how folks look at stuff sometimes.
A celebrity told me not to.
https://youtu.be/AcF1OoWqXBc
"All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record, it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen." - Conan O'Brien
That doesn't mean I'm never a cynic, I just ensure it doesn't consume me. Conan took a terrible situation and turned it into a great thing (his tour, new show, podcast, etc). If Conan can do that, I can do that.