Single, solo, poor, woman gets $500k pre-tax, how to make the most of it?
Hello all, long time listener, first time poster. First time poster because this is a throwaway account as it will have more personal info included than I'd like linked to my main account. The point of this post is to request guidance/advice/ideas from the always incredible, intelligent, and helpful people of Tildes.
The high level points:
- I am a female 40 year old, for lack of a better phrase, starving artist living in the US. I am single, live alone with my cat in an apartment, and have no debt.
- I have not held a steady/normal job in over a decade (mental health being a primary reason), my personal income has come from a couple of very small business ventures where I make things by hand, some freelance graphic design, the generosity of friends, and pet sitting. The latter is dead in the water as all my pets were in another state and I just moved in the last 30 days to a place that is much smaller and simply will not have the customer base to do the same, nor am I all that interested in pursuing it here.
- My primary method of financial support over the last decade was being the homemaker to my now-ex husband up until about two years ago when he informed me he no longer wished to be my husband. Since then my primary financial support was from my now-deceased father, who generously provided me with $2,500 per month to subsist on, with my previously mentioned ventures closing the finances gap as much as possible.
- Over the decade of being in a single income household and for the last two years subsisting off a "guaranteed" income of $30,000 per year I managed to learn to be extremely frugal wherever possible so as to not spend above my means and keep a roof over my head. I eat once per day, my overall health isn't great but I am attempting to address that, and thus far my "retail therapy" budget to give me a little boost of dopamine has been $50 per month that is generally spent in thrift stores. I wouldn't call it living so much as I'd call it surviving and am often unsure why I bother.
The issue/question at hand:
My father has passed away and with him my primary/only means of support, with his passing I have inherited just over $500,000 in a Traditional IRA. So my primary question is how to minimize tax burden and maximize return on his investments to make them last as long as possible while I figure out the next stage of my life.
I am not opposed to getting a normal/steady job, but this is more difficult to obtain than one would imagine with a decade long gap in employment and an unwillingness to sacrifice the mental health gains I have made and gestures broadly everything else that is going on. There is also the bit of freedom that this amount of money provides that will perhaps allow me to double down on my small business ventures, investing in them/myself at a level that I was unable to do prior and therefore enabling them to become a primary source of support. So there is a thought of setting a budget, both monetary and time, to allow myself to try to grow my businesses first.
TLDR: Single, solo, poor, woman gets $500k pre-tax, how to make the most of it?
I think you should talk to some kind of qualified advisor who you can share more personal details with before you do anything. I'm not familiar with how inheriting IRAs works, but I imagine you will want to keep it in a tax advantaged account for as long as possible. So there are definitely wrong moves here that could cost you on the order of hundreds of thousands of dollars.
It doesn't sound out of the question that, with a decent bit of luck, this money could provide you with the same $2500/mo that it currently is for the rest of your life.
Edit: to be clear, you should be looking for a "fee-only fiduciary financial planner". Anyone that works for free is getting paid on commission, and that commission will come out of your pocket eventually.
Strong agree, and just want to add that "fee-based" or any other similar sounding term is not the same as "fee-only." It can be a little challenging to find a fee-only fiduciary, but I think it's worth it to know that you're sitting on the same side as your advisor.
I fully intend to discuss with a financial advisor, my father had one he trusted his entire life and has offered his services to me as well. This post is partially to gather info that I do not know/have not googled so far so I know what I am talking about when I talk to a financial advisor soon. For example the VITA mentioned elsewhere and your specification of "fee-only fiduciary financial planner" are things I wasn't aware of to look for, so thank you.
What I do know so far:
I have to extract it all within 10 years.
Since it is a Traditional IRA, I will have to pay normal income tax on it, but not the early withdrawal penalty.
I do have to take an RMD since he had already been required to do so at his death.
I have zero intention of taking it out in any lump sum, am not a tax professional, but the back of the napkin math difference between taking it out all at once and taking it out in $50k increments is $100k in taxes.
The main goal here is to reduce taxes; losing $100k of this money to taxes makes the math here a lot worse.
Random ordered thoughts on a migraine day, please forgive the lack of elegance and if I missed another comment/response.
You won't have to pay Social Security and Medicare taxes on your IRA withdrawals, just income tax. Current tax bands for 2026 are: 10% of the part of the total from $0 to $12,400, 12% from $12,400 to $50,400 and 22% from $50,401 to $105,700 (and so on). You'll also get to reduce the income by your standard deduction ($16,100) and any other tax savings. "$40k in ten years at $50k a year" sounds about right at $50k a year but that leaves $16,500 of potential withdrawal at 12% tax unused.
(The extra tax from pulling it all at once is probably Alternative Minimum Tax, or AMT. Do not withdraw more than the AMT exemption [$90k plus standard deduction, minus some changes] no matter what you do, AMT is awful for your situation.)
This is a place where a good plan from a financial advisor can save you a lot of misery later. (Fee only is indeed best, unless your father's advisor is offering you a freebie and still, double check their plan, even just here on tildes). Be aware that the IRA will need to be invested in something while it sits, whether that is bonds or stocks or something else (otherwise it will be worth less from inflation alone). I personally am very nervous about the stock market AND the bond market right now, so you might want to speak to your future advisor about very safe income producing investments, at least for the next year or two. You don't need to grow it, but you sure as heck don't want to lose it. That being said, any investments mean that the IRA will continue to grow as you withdraw from it. You should plan for the amount to go up and you might have to withdraw more than $50k a year to get it all out within ten years. Better to plan for that rather than get stuck at the end.
My last thought is that if you can find a home to buy where you can turn your IRA withdrawals into paid for housing, that would set you up for the rest of your life even on a limited income. My favorite idea is to buy land, then buy a used camper and live in it for a year, then a tiny home or trailer or something more long term. Or build your own, you are an artist/maker, people like you have been making their own houses for thousands of years. Remember that you can take a withdrawal of $66k on December 31st 2026 and a withdrawal of $66k on January 2nd of 2027 (for example) and have $124,000 ish (after taxes) to buy land with at one time.
Finally, my condolences on your loss and the best of luck with your future.
(My apologies for having to include this: I am not your accountant and this is not financial advice.)
I am very sorry for your loss. I admire that you're looking for advice, even in such a tough time.
I echo the others in that your situation is pretty complicated and a financial advisor would be good to help with the RMDs. That said, my guess is that if you had a good financial advisor available, you would've gone to them and not here. So I'm going to respond to two things I haven't seen others touch on first and then talk about what to actually do with the money.
This comment is going to start kind of negative. It's not in any way personal, I'm just concerned about your situation and want to address some concerns up front. I'll end positive and with actionable advice.
I know this feels like a lot of money. I know it feels life-changing. And in a lot of ways it is! But it's not enough. I say this because I see you've mentioned stuff like going out to eat more often, and I 100% get it, and my chest aches a little bit typing this, but you're still in financial crisis. You can't relax yet. Specifically,
I would really recommend against investing the money into your small business. There's not a lot of detail on what your business is, but candidly speaking most small businesses fail. I know it may seem like a chance to double down, but this money is all you have, right? It would be really tragic for your business to absorb it all without becoming profitable and have you be left with nothing. You haven't received enough to materially change your situation, meaning that if you weren't able to launch the business when you were getting monthly money from your dad, you probably won't be able to do it now either.
Getting a job is probably going to be necessary. Look, I totally get not wanting to sacrifice your mental health gains and that the world is tough, but you really don't have many other options. The great news is that this gift from your dad is keeping you from having to just immediately start at the local Walmart or whatever. What I would recommend is drawing enough of the principal to live on while you actively look for a job you can at least tolerate. Even working something part time will make a massive difference in your financial situation.
It's not enough to live on forever because the rule of thumb is that you can draw 4% of well-invested principal without depleting it (meaning you can draw it forever). In your case, that'd be 20,000/yr, which is already less than you've been getting. But - unfortunately - 4% is in a best-case scenario. It requires reasonably active management, it involves a certain degree of risk (because you need to be invested in equities that are volatile in order to get enough gains), and it's much harder to do with low amounts of capital (which unfortunately 500k falls into) because you have less cushion to absorb fluctuations. So even 20k/yr is unrealistic without depleting the principal. In your scenario you're going to have to slowly deplete the principal.
So. Here's what all of that means. It's what I would do, in your shoes.
You need the principal divided between an all-market fund (higher growth, but more volatile) and bonds (the inverse). For simplicity, you're looking for the stock tickers VTI and BND. I would do something like a 50/50 split into each. This is not financially optimal, but it's pretty good, and it's much more appropriate for a solo individual with mental health issues and (I'm assuming) not a lot of investment experience.
Ideally, the IRA should be in some sort of investment split like this. If not, make it so. You may qualify for the exemption (chronic illness) that will let you stretch distributions over your lifetime. Take it if so. If not, take the distributions and put them into a regular brokerage account, then invest them as described above. You likely won't have enough income to pay any significant taxes anyway so it doesn't matter much.
Whether it's happening in the IRA or a brokerage account, about every six months, sell an equal proportion of each stock ticker to get enough money to live on for the next six months. If the market crashes, cut your spending and take smaller portions (a months worth or so) instead, primarily from the bond fund (BND).
In the beginning, take enough money to sustain yourself entirely and then start looking for a job you can tolerate. Making even 15,000 a year in salary will allow you to stretch this lump sum significantly farther, potentially even keep it for retirement or start building it back up. As another poster mentioned, if it can grow, it will accumulate.
This sucks, I know. But this final gift from your father can keep you alive, give you a chance to find a job your don't hate or maybe even like. When I say "not enough," I mean that it's not enough to live on forever - but it is enough to change your life for the better. This could be the difference between working a fastfood job out of necessity and taking a part-time gig at a library or something. You might even be able to derive some meaning from that kind of job.
Good luck.
This seems fairly reasonable as generic advice, but I’m wondering about the specifics:
Whether any stock investments are appropriate at all depends on how you feel about risk. Someone who has a fairly strong faith that stocks will eventually go up (the way Bogleheads do) can wait a few years if they go down for them to come back again. Other people worry more and would have a hard time dealing with that. It’s pretty easy to argue that stocks do eventually go up on average, but they can be down for years, and people have to decide for themselves whether they are sufficiently convinced to not worry too much in that situation.
Any money made inside the IRA is tax free (until withdrawal) and at least some of that money likely wouldn’t need to be withdrawn for years, so any stock investments that might grow a lot should probably be in the IRA?
Certainly not all of it, though. At least the next few years of withdrawals should be invested conservatively so they can be withdrawn on schedule.
Assuming the withdrawals have to be done in ten years, sticking to a fixed withdrawal schedule and then trying to build up some savings outside the IRA (not spending all the withdrawals) makes sense, and any money from a job will help to avoid having to spend it.
For sure. To your point, I'd considered adding a disclaimer to my original comment about how personal psychology might change the validity of the advice, but I couldn't think of a good way to phrase it that wasn't like 500 words long so I just deleted it. It also becomes somewhat more complicated in that:
Generally, I would agree with you re: stocks being optional. Her situation is somewhat unique, though. She needs the principal to last as long as possible, the amount of the principal is unlikely to increase, and her horizon could be legitimately 50+ years. The only way to come even close to meeting those constraints is with a fairly equity-heavy portfolio. I think you're familiar with the 4% rule - if you have a bond-only portfolio, it becomes impossible to maintain the principal because average real t-bill returns are something like 0.9%. That's just not enough growth. You end up needing an absurdly large principal to sustain itself, or even not just draw down quickly. Not a big deal if you're retiring at 65 with SS, but a huge deal if you're 40 who can't really expect to get a lot back from SS in 27 years anyway.
That would be optimal, most likely. I debated this for a little bit, but ultimately decided it would be better to recommend a plan I thought the OP was more likely to be able to follow. There's very little chance they ever end up paying taxes either way, so it probably doesn't matter too much.
Yeah, I think this is key. I just don't see a way out of getting a job.
Largely agreed. Except:
It seems like there would be a lot more taxes if it she withdrew it all at once? I think that's reason to stick with a ten-year schedule for withdrawals, to make the taxed amount about the same every year. Then the taxes wouldn't be very much.
So, investing what's in the IRA and building up savings outside the IRA (which might even be in a new IRA) can be considered separately.
(Caveat: just going by my very cursory understanding of the rules.)
Yeah that would be bad. My intent was for her to take the distributions over 10 years, for sure.
Seconding the VTI or similar recommendation. I've become bearish on AI in the markets so have taken a sizeable chunk from my growth stocks, which are heavily invested in tech, and moved it into VTI.
Thank you for the response and advice on tickers to look for.
To clarify, when I say invest in my small businesses, I'm referring to the tune of $5-10k max over the course of a couple of years. I've yet to invest anything in my ventures except my time and with that I've had good months that nearly paid all my bills and others that didn't make a dime, so the idea brewing is more from a marketing standpoint to get it to be a more steady income if possible.
I do intend to get a job, and have been looking, just wasn't willing before to have my soul sucked out at Walmart and less willing to do so now. Even a part time job at something like a non-profit or public service that only pays $20k a year would half what I need to pull out of the account for example. More is better of course and my recent move opens up local options that I did not have previously.
Good to hear.
And you may already have recognized this, but making even 20k will be more significant than it might seem at first glance. Even if you only make 20k, if you can live on 30, that would let you pull only 10 from the principal. On average that 50/50 investment blend should make you about 20k, in real terms. What that means is that your principal would actually grow instead of shrink, and could last you your entire life. You'd also be able to start drawing more from it to improve your quality of life in a few years.
Point being that making 20k and keeping your sanity is still okay, if the alternative is making 30 and having your mental health collapse.
As a final note, because of the way returns work, the less you can draw, for as long as possible, the better off you'll be. (Basically - larger principal makes more money, more time with larger principal in the market is good.)
TBH, your best option is to continue living as you are and not touch it for awhile to let it compound more.
That said, none of us can really help you without exact numbers regarding your spend. You need to plug your exact numbers into a FIRE calculator and if you are going to try living off of this/withdrawing from it, check out the 4% rule. I sort of doubt 500k is enough for you to live off of in perpetuity but you might be able to continue living how you are now with it as a supplement. Sort of a Coast Fire. If you can afford to not touch it though, I would not.
I would also check out what the asset allocation is. If you're gonna try to live off of this, you probably need some of it in a stable source like bonds.
This is just my opinion, check out the fire community and the bogle head community. Learn some about investing and retirement. Broad index funds and all that.
Will look into those, thank you. Unfortunately, not touching it isn't an option as I have no other income and it has to all be removed within 10 years per US law. There is a Required Minimum Distribution that also must be met, but that will not be an issue as my overall expenses exceed the RMD.
Living how I currently do is mostly the plan, but also be nice if taking myself out to dinner once isn't the only "luxury" I get to experience each month. Is a strain on mental health to leave the house one time and not be able to afford to do so at all for the next 30 days.
Sorry for your loss. I'm not an expert, but it's possible that you may not have to take the RMDs if you qualify as a "disabled or chronically ill individual".
So if your father was not already required to take RMDs, at the very least you can wait until the end of next year to do your first withdrawal. But you may need to pay estimated taxes to avoid any penalties.
I am not a qualified individual and he had already started taking RMDs, but hadn't taken all of it this year so I have to take out the minimum that he was required to do so already per my case worker at the investment firm.
It sounds like you're already on top of things as far as being frugal and the thing to work on is getting some kind of income. You now have money you could tap into, and this might include moving expenses if there's better opportunity somewhere else, but it needs to be a move that will very likely pay off.
Also, not sure if you're being metaphorical about leaving the house once a month, but there are reasons to get out regularly that don't involve buying things, like exercise.
I appreciate the defense but I've decided to delete my posts and ignore the thread rather than get sucked in to the tangent further. I appreciate how kind people are being in the thread to OP and the good advice given.
Fae, we've interacted elsewhere here on my main account. I take you and your statements to heart. If you have anything you wish to say, please feel free to do so. Was out running errands, so didn't get to see what was said.
No worries, it wasn't worth the back and forth with them and taking up the space in your thread.
I don't have financial advice, I wish you the best of luck and hope you have all the support you need for your mental health and grief as well. If I can assist in any way, feel free to ping me on whichever account you like. I did hit "ignore" on this thread so unless I intentionally click in, I won't see replies here automatically, but didn't want to miss replying to you ( ◜‿◝ )♡
Fair enough!
Largely metaphorical. I get out, moving to a place I could do so was one of the reasons for moving, but as far as actual "entertainment" in going out to dinner, buying myself a piece of clothing, looking for treasures that make me happy at thrift stores, etc. I've had a budget of $50/month max for a very long time. Anything over that means something like the electricity doesn't get paid or I don't eat for a week or I have to skip getting a prescription refilled.
I mean, at the end of the day life isn't all about money. I am sure you can find a nice balance.
Also, my condolences for your loss.
I know spending the money feels like a thing you need to start to do to live. $500,000 given the opportunity to compound is basically gold.
You're 40 now. Let's imagine you didn't have to take a distribution and stuff with the inherited IRA. Lets just imagine you have $500,000 invested, earning nominal market returns, and you decide to retire at 65 in 25 years.
Using https://www.investor.gov/financial-tools-calculators/calculators/compound-interest-calculator you will be looking at $3,670,000. That's enough to retire on and pay yourself $110,000 a year, for the rest of your life.
I beseech you to consider your options. Learn about the required tax treatment of your inheritance, and how to get it into a broad, low-cost index fund.
What the other folks said about bogleheads and financial independence are what you should be reading about. Tell no one, don't act quickly, do your homework online. Even LLMs can really help make a lot of this more clear. Third party paid professional assistance is not critical, but helpful for some folks.
No intent to start spending any more than I already do to keep the lights on and a roof over my head. In no rush to pull it out, but will have to do so and looking to do so with the lowest tax burden possible.
If you make less than $69k: VITA
Let the government help you for free. I can't promise it'll work, but worth a shot.
Also, if you keep your withdrawls under $48k the tax burden will be minimal. Take it out, pay the taxes. Get an account at https://www.treasurydirect.gov/, buy 10 year bonds with a monthly payout. the income from federal bonds is not taxed. It won't make you a fortune, but it will keep you from overspending the windfall in a much safer way. You could also consider 'locking up' the funds that mature in one month intervals to give youa consistent flow of money coming in for you to spend.
Don't listen to anybody who tells you to invest in stocks. You're suffering from 'poor brain' and the best possible thing you can do with the money you don't strictly need to live on is to keep yourself from spending it.
A bond-only portfolio has other risks. Other than I-bonds, it's not going to keep up with inflation.
Also, you do pay federal income tax on treasury bonds, though it may be deferred. They're only exempt from state and local taxes. (That doesn't apply to investments in an IRA, though.)
I forgot it was only state/local exempt. And also laid out a proper plan. Only buying Ibonds (odds of her hitting that $10k cap is virtually nill) is best, but EE bonds are more or less fine too, the doubling at maturity still puts you within a stone's throw.
However, keeping up with inflation is not important in this case. It is locking up the funds as a means of preservation. When you've been poor and get a windfall, you will burn through far more than inflation rate loss for one reason or another.
She needs to have this savings last until she's 60, 20 years, minimum. Then social security kicks in and while that might not be enough it'll at least keep the income flowing.
A more detailed plan to do that:
Assuming a $50k pull (10 year rule and all),
monthly withdrawal. That's about $4.1k per month. Ideally they deduct the the federal taxes at that time.
Do an online tax calculator to estimate state/local taxes, and set that money into a savings account (unless you live in a state which expects you to pay estimated tax through the year likr NJ, thats why tax advisor). Doing CDs/bills that mature by tax day would be best, but that money needs set aside to avoid being unable to foot a tax bill. Depending on a swath of factors, I'd guestimate that would leave roughly $2.5k remaining per month.
Of that, $800 should buy an Ibond. This is critical to insure at least some income up to 60. They mature in 30 years, but can be pulled early when the IRA runs out.
That leaves about $1,700 a month to live on. It's probably not enough, but that will insure at least 20 years of some income.
Unfortunately, this looks pretty grim without getting outside income somehow. What it comes down to is that making 50k a year for 10 years isn’t enough to go another 10 years without income. And then, what about retirement? Social security is based on how much you earned while working.
If it supplemented income from a job, things look much better.
Another possibility might be real estate? 500k might be enough to buy a duplex and rent half of it out. Not everyone is cut out to be a landlord, though.
Taking as a lump to buy housing is even riskier.
Particularly since the taxes on the lump at once would be huge.
Yea, job is basically mandatory.
Perhaps the tax issue could be worked around by a 10-year mortgage, to be paid using the IRA. Living expenses come out of rent. After 10 years, the mortgage is paid off and the income from the rent is still there.
Without using real numbers, this is just a story, not a plan. But I've heard roughly similar stories before.
It's definitely having all your assets in one basket, though.
Don't want to respond to every comment or interrupt the back-and-forth between you two, but thank you both for taking the time to respond with options and links for me to look into.
As much as I want to hate this advice for being far from optimal I think there some wisdom here worth paying attention to. We dont know the psychology of OP to know things like how they'd react to seeing sudden drops in the market or what lifestyle inflation might look like. I think I can safely say that's the case for most people who haven't lived through this situation. So maybe some aspect of "locking" the funds and taking minimal fixed bonds returns, at least until retirement, is best.
I agree with what other folks here wrote. If possible do not touch it. If you can let this grow longer then that is best.
I am not a qualified financial specialist, but traditional wisdom is (again as mentioned) the 4% rule.
However, this is assuming (as I understand it), that you are retired already.
If you expect this to grow, you may need to keep a large portion of it in actual higher risk stocks to have it grow, but enough of it in low risk to receive "guaranteed, safe payout".
All-in-all, I'd honestly consult a specialist because there is so much nuance to how you go about this that relies on an incredible amount of detail. A specialist can navigate that, and work with you to set everything up in a way that can meet your lifestyle and needs.
I am not retired unfortunately, just haven't been able/needed to work in about a decade.
I'm going through an estate process right now myself and just talked to some experts yesterday. You have to take all of that IRA money out within 10 years. You don't have to SPEND it within 10 years, just take it out. A common way to set this up is with an annuity, you get a tenth of the total every year for 10 years. The reason is because you're going to pay income tax on whatever you pull out, just like it was a paycheck.
When you get your stipend, you can put some into an IRA of your own to offset taxes, or a Roth IRA if that makes financial sense.
I highly recommend talking to a financial advisor, find one listed as a "fiduciary" in your area. You have plenty in this account to spend a couple of thousand dollars making sure it's set up right, which could save you a lot in the long run. They can help you figure out the timing and what to do with whatever you get each year to your best benefit. They should also be able to refer you to an accountant if you need one, especially this first year.
I believe the page below summarizes options and approaches in a good, conservative, wealth preserving way. It is from a community dedicated to J. Boggle, the father of low cost investing.
https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Managing_a_windfall?utm_source=chatgpt.com
On more personal advice, maybe some of that money could be used to ease your mental state? Try to address the sources if at all possible, otherwise seek outside help / therapy. I believe bad mental state can overshadow everything else in life...
Thank you for the link. I'm in a much better place now mentally, somewhere I did not think was possible two years ago (short version, ex was abusive, but as abusers will do I was convinced it was the best I could ever get). I will not be spending money hand over fist, but just will not be fearful of being homeless because I took myself to a movie and couldn't make rent because of it.
I am going to go out on a limb and put in a plug for Northwestern Mutual, where we have an account. My family is not wealthy and we are not great with money. I do not know anything about investing, unless you count losing money to bad decisions in the stock market as a form of knowledge.
I do not think Northwestern Mutual is perfect and I do not think NM the best thing for your situation. However, they may be best thing that you will easily find for your situation. Here's why.
NM is very large and has a great rating of AA+ from Fitch, which is higher than any of the banks on this list. They will have a branch or representative near you and, speaking from experience, they will be very good at making you feel good about giving them your money. They will also be adept at schemes to make the best use of the mandated withdrawals.
They will probably try to get you to buy a life insurance policy. This is just a thing that anyone in that industry is incentivised to do and not particular to NM. The thing to do is simply to remind them that you are very poor and have more immediate concerns than a hypothetical market downturn in your later years. However, if you decide that such an arrangement is best for you, I, of course, support you.
Ultimately, I feel like telling someone in your position to go find a financial advisor (without recommending a specific one) is like telling someone who needs to learn how to drive that they should buy the car that's right for them. It's not wrong, but it's not very helpful either.
The other thing is to accept that mistakes will be made. You will learn, at a later time, that, had you made different decisions right now, you would have been better off than you will be, having made the decisions that you did. This is true in all areas of life, but it is often shown in stark relief with money, as makes losses and missed opportunities easily quantifiable, down to the cent.
I suggest you find someone you believe is competent to handle your money and entrust them to make the decisions that are in your interest.
Please accept my deepest condolences. I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you very much for the recommendation and link, will look into NM and the list further as I begin a search for a financial advisor.
I echo what others have said and what you've been doing with the whole "talk to professionals", so to not belabor that point
I would highly recommend talking to someone if you can although I get that's unlikely to be in the budget right now, there are options. I have been in a similar situation both financially and mentally and getting out of the spiral of mental health issues caused by finances impacting steady income, causing mental health issues, can be important. You obviously just lost a loved one, but from the tone of your post and this line in particular i'm guessing this isn't new and I doubt losing someone helped. Further I get the gestures vaguely but I also will say be very very careful with that. Its trite and may very well not be applicable, but I have seen what a major health change getting away from social media can do for people.
Obviously I'm not saying rush out and gun for store manager of a Wendy's, or whatever, but it might be worth considering. At my similar point in life I was substitute teaching which was a pretty low barrier to entry, got me out of the house, had work every day, and covered the day to day stuff.
Be careful with this. It's probably a very good idea to investigate, because again if you can find even slightly more steady income doing something your enjoy that shifts your finances quite a bit, but it's very easy to keep pulling from the pile because you'd rather continue to do the thing you like than go out and put up with a more normal job.
I would recommend setting some reasonable goals/timelines/budgets eventually to try and evaluate if it's working out. The range of difficulty/consistency on these things is wild, and it can be extra tough when its the kind of work that can come in burst and then dry up for months.
A small one, and probably not applicable given your description of things, but given the large cash influx you might want to take a look at anything critical to your life/potential work and see if things are due for an upgrade.
The usual one is a car, as if you need one and it's the kind that's barely held together, you might want to set aside some of this cash to get recently used (1-3 years? Maybe more? Mileage is the thing really and even then i'm probably overly conservative) used Corolla/Prius/whatever. You will often save a lot in the long run having something relatively new and reliable vs something old and constantly in the shop. Still tricky as even the used market has gone pretty nuts, but worth considering.
Like I said though, no idea if that's applicable to you. Just consider what you find yourself spending on repeatedly and if a more expensive but higher quality item might help in the mid to long term.
I'm in a much better place now mentally, somewhere I did not think was possible two years ago (short version, ex was abusive, but as abusers will do I was convinced it was the best I could ever get). I will not be spending money hand over fist, but just will not be fearful of being homeless because I took myself to a movie and couldn't make rent because of it. I do take my mental health seriously now and I no longer neglect it.
I do intend to get a job, and have been looking, just wasn't willing before to have my soul sucked out at Walmart and less willing to do so now. Even a part time job at something like a non-profit or public service that only pays $20k a year would half what I need to pull out of the account for example. More is better of course and my recent move opens up local options that I did not have previously. To clarify, when I say invest in my small businesses, I'm referring to the tune of $5-10k max over the course of a couple of years. I've yet to invest anything in my ventures except my time and with that I've had good months that nearly paid all my bills and others that didn't make a dime, so the idea brewing is more from a marketing standpoint to get it to be a more steady income if possible.
Thankfully, I have a very reliable, low mileage, Honda that my father gave me that I recently had serviced and checked out by a trusted mechanic and it passed with flying colors. So the car issue is resolved for at least a decade as I am a stickler on its maintenance.
Things to know.
Now, if you had enough money to get you to retirement, you would be thinking about Roth IRA. This is where I am less sure. It may still be a good idea to put $7k a year into a Roth IRA. I am also unsure how much of your husbands social security you are entitled to. See what the financial planner thinks.
Hard truth? You likely need a job if you want to have money in 20 years.
I am entitled to some of his social security. The divorce was very specifically finalized 10 years and one month after we were married.
I do intend to get a job, and have been looking, just wasn't willing before to have my soul sucked out at Walmart and less willing to do so now. Even a part time job at something like a non-profit or public service that only pays $20k a year would half what I need to pull out of the account for example. More is better of course and my recent move opens up local options that I did not have previously.
I don't know much about them, but from some quick web searches, for an inherited IRA, apparently people are usually required to withdraw the money in 10 years, but there are exceptions and you'll want to figure out if you qualify for them. Also, you'll need to figure out the rules for taxation of withdrawals. That's going to require someone to look at the specifics of your situation to figure out.
Inherited traditional IRAs are going to have some tax pain. All the more reason to find the right way to get in invested for the long term.
OP: Handled well, this windfall is a ticket to certain comfort in retirement. Spent, it could be gone so much faster than you think.