I'm working on this for a poetry class I'm taking, any criticism is welcome.

Edit: Italicized some text I forgot when I copied it out of Word.
Edit 2: Fixed some phrasing.

Coming Out 2.0

When I first came out
I thought it was over.
Done.
I know myself now,
My life can finally be
worthwhile and fun.

But there was always a mess I dared
not touch. Who do I like? What gaze
makes me blush? I suspected the feminine
but held out hope – only taking up one letter
made it easier to cope.

And some people do change after starting
HRT, so patiently I hoped men would appeal
to me. I had some feelings before, it seemed reasonable
they would grow. But as time went on I realized I had
nothing to show. My feelings for men were entirely gone,
but still hopeful for a straight-passing future, I pressed on.

I had definite feelings for women before,
But at times the attraction seemed a bit more –
Did I want to be them or did I want to be with them?
The former I assumed, as it helped to distract,
focus on my work, brush my desires under the mat.

I’d think “She looks cute”, but “in that outfit”, “with that hairdo” and other qualifiers
I began to append, convincing myself what I felt was normal and, like a
Chicagoland road, no bend. When I began to notice some feelings bubbling up I said
“Female friendships are close, it’s nothing, the end.” But try as I might, they flowered
and bloomed, and soon I could not help but be all-consumed. Maybe I’m bi, I thought,
That isn’t so bad. More options for dating, how can I be mad? I told my friend my feelings, and as
expected, for me she had none. She’s still one of my best friends, so I’d neither lost nor won.

I dealt with the rejection and moved on. I could still be bi, better not
jump the gun. You can’t take back coming out, you’ve got one shot – nail it
and be done. I thought everything would be the same, but the floodgates were open,
my restraints had been broken. I could finally be honest about my feelings
for women (endless, confusing and interwoven) and for men, which were at most
an appreciative token.

A week after confessing to my crush, it was obvious
who won. The Sapphic feelings and desires made
their presence known, their intent to stay,
and more difficult than coming out
as trans was admitting
to being gay.

I just saw this parody of "We Didn't Start The Fire" on Reddit. It might be a parody song, but it's also a potted history of LGBT activism in the USA for the past 60 years.

We Didn't Start The Fire parody - Sherry Vine

(I am trans-inclusive. I believe trans rights are human rights. I believe in self-identification. I will use whatever pronouns someone choose, and I try not to assume pronouns.)

In the UK recently there's been a bit of a debate between trans-phobic "gender critical" feminists who say that for sexual safety women need spaces that are women only, and that this means they need to exclude trans-people.

I think this is bullshit. I'd like some good quality arguments to use against this.

What are your ideas?

A recent conversation resurfaced an idea I've had for a while now, and I've decided to move forward with it.

The Idea: a thread along the lines of "What's something you've always wanted to know about being LGBT but were afraid to ask?" I want to encourage people to specifically ask questions that might be uncomfortable, or questions that might be seen as too forward or invasive in other contexts. Crucially, I also want to have a diverse panel of LGBT people ready and willing to answer those types of questions in the thread. I'm using LGBT here in the Tildes-preferred umbrella manner, so this is open to all who identify with a minority gender identity or sexual/romantic orientation.

The Location: I feel like hosting it in ~talk would be best so that we are visible to people who do not subscribe to ~lgbt, who are more likely to have questions about our experiences.

The Panel: I have thought about just putting up the thread with no preparation and letting people respond as they see fit, but I've always held back because I think it's important to be able to have lots of different voices, identities, and experiences represented. As such, I figure assembling a panel of willing respondents prior to the thread would be good, hence this planning topic! We can list the names and short bios about the panel participants in the top level of the topic, which then lets participants know who is responding to them, as well as giving them the opportunity to ask questions to specific individuals should they wish to do so.

The Time: I am thinking next Monday, Feb. 10 would be a good time to get this up and running, but that is flexible. I expect the thread to be active for about one to three days.

Next Steps

If you are willing to be a part of the panel and answer questions:

• let me know either by commenting here or sending me a PM,
• include how you identify yourself,
• include what your preferred pronouns are, and
• include a short bio about yourself that will be posted in the thread.

An example of what panelists' introductions will look like in the Q&A thread:

The bio can include anything you think might be relevant for context, or that you think people might want to ask about.

Signing on to participate in the panel does NOT mean you must answer every question asked. Panel participants can choose which questions they answer, as well as how much they choose to share. Signing on simply means you're agreeing to participate in the topic to the best of your ability and comfort level.

Finally, if you have any feedback or ideas for how this should run, let me know!

The following questions are aimed at gender identity, gender expression, romantic orientation, and/or sexual orientation. To cut down on wordiness, all the questions below will just say "identity", but know that I'm asking about any and all of the different parts that make up our gendered, romantic, and sexual selves.

You don't necessarily need to answer regarding all axes or focuses: choose the ones most salient or meaningful to you and your experiences. Furthermore, these questions are open to all, including people who don't identify as LGBT.

• How would you describe the rigidity/fluidity of your identity or its different parts?
• Do you experience short-term changes in your identity?
• Have you experienced long-term changes in your identity?
• Does your identity have any elements that are unchanging long-term?
• How does the fluidity/rigidity of your identity affect you? Are there advantages? Disadvantages?
• Are you certain in your identity right now, or is it unclear to you at the moment?
• If you are certain, do you think that certainty will persist, or might things change in the future?
• If you are uncertain, do you think a more definite identity will coalesce for you at some point?

As always, the questions are just jumping off points and don't need to be treated like a quiz. Also, just to be clear, I am asking this purely out of curiosity and am in no way trying to assert that a more rigid/fluid identity is better/worse. Likewise, I'm not trying to cast judgment on anyone still questioning or engaging in self-discovery. Your process and your identity are valid wherever you're at and however you feel. I'm simply interested to hear what your experiences are, whoever you are.

... exactly the same as the old name.

Yep, "lgbt" won the vote from this thread. That may not be a surprise to many people, but this has still been a worthwhile process to go through. There were some concerns expressed about the name, and it was only fair that we gave everyone a chance to have a say.

Of course, not everyone will be happy with this outcome. I saw a variety of voting responses which made that clear. At one extreme, I saw a couple of responses with "lgbt" marked as #1, and all other names marked as #N/A. At the other extreme, I saw a couple of responses with the other seven names ranked from #1 to #7, and "lgbt" marked as #N/A. Someone else marked any name which even included as "lgbt" as #N/A. So, there are definitely strong opinions for and against "lgbt".

But the vote was convincing. Nearly half of all people (43 out of 87) put "lgbt" as their first choice, two-thirds of people had it as their 1st or 2nd choice, and more than three-quarters of people had it as their 1st, 2nd, or 3rd choice. As I checked the results occasionally throughout the period of voting, "lgbt" consistently had about 50% of the first choices. And, counting all the ranked votes, "lgbt" got a final score of 6.98 out of a theoretical maximum of 8. The next closest names - "lgbtq" and "lgbtplus" - were scored at about 5.5 out of 8.

Here is the published result on Survey Monkey, and a screenshot of the detailed count.