19 votes

Where did you get your engagement ring?

Hi all. I'm planning on proposing to my girlfriend this year. I'm looking for a place to buy a simple/dainty moissanite or lab-grown diamond ring, preferably from an ethical seller with a good return policy. Does anyone have any recommendations?

29 comments

  1. [2]
    MimicSquid
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    We eschewed gems, since my wife does a bunch of handicrafts that don't play well with projecting things on her hands, but I got the ring at a ren faire, since that's where we met, and the jewelers...

    We eschewed gems, since my wife does a bunch of handicrafts that don't play well with projecting things on her hands, but I got the ring at a ren faire, since that's where we met, and the jewelers there (at least in my area) are top notch. It also let me get a sense of what she liked, since there were plenty of opportunities to window shop.

    9 votes
    1. Nohbdy
      Link Parent
      That is fucking adorable.

      That is fucking adorable.

      5 votes
  2. aphoenix
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    When I purchased mine lab-grown wasn't an option, but our jeweller still had ethically sourced Canadian diamonds, and put together the ring on premises. However, it's a relatively small local...

    When I purchased mine lab-grown wasn't an option, but our jeweller still had ethically sourced Canadian diamonds, and put together the ring on premises. However, it's a relatively small local shop. If possible, I'd look for someone small and local and see if you can get information from them on how they source the stuff that they're selling.

    7 votes
  3. [3]
    chromakode
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    Congratulations and best of luck! I proposed with a 1930s era antique ring from Lang Antiques. In our early discussions I learned my wife preferred diamond rings. After surveying the lab-grown and...

    Congratulations and best of luck! I proposed with a 1930s era antique ring from Lang Antiques. In our early discussions I learned my wife preferred diamond rings. After surveying the lab-grown and ethical sourcing options, I liked that an antique ring wouldn't have the energy or social impact of obtaining a new diamond. It took some browsing but I found a ring that fit her style, and it's fun to reflect on how we're adding a new chapter to the near century of adventures that ring has had!

    6 votes
    1. AgnesNutter
      Link Parent
      Mine is also an antique for similar reasons. It’s an art deco style with a bezel setting which is a good option for people who do a lot with their hands and/or don’t want to take their ring off...

      Mine is also an antique for similar reasons. It’s an art deco style with a bezel setting which is a good option for people who do a lot with their hands and/or don’t want to take their ring off all the time.

      For those not in the know: a bezel setting encloses the entire outside of the diamond, rather than a claw setting which just has a few thin bits of metal to keep the stone in place. Claw settings break more easily and the advice from jewellers is to take the ring off to wash hands, sleep, cook, any activity at the gym, etc etc etc. which is not always convenient!

      4 votes
    2. JurisSpecter
      Link Parent
      I also got an antique ring, but from a charity auction. Wanted a sapphire without diamonds for similar reasons as stated in the thread, but this art deco piece has a sapphire centerpiece with...

      I also got an antique ring, but from a charity auction. Wanted a sapphire without diamonds for similar reasons as stated in the thread, but this art deco piece has a sapphire centerpiece with smaller diamonds surrounding it. It was $1000 cheaper than retail (we got lucky), the money went to charity, and it's basically one of a kind. 10/10

      2 votes
  4. CodingCarpenter
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    I got my now wife's ring from a shady little spot in RI. Kind of a part pawn shop part fence lol. I was poor as hell and they gave me a good deal. Now though I got it attached to her wedding ring...

    I got my now wife's ring from a shady little spot in RI. Kind of a part pawn shop part fence lol. I was poor as hell and they gave me a good deal. Now though I got it attached to her wedding ring through Zales and it looks great

    5 votes
  5. Unsorted
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    We didn't do engagement rings, just wedding bands, but we found someone local on Etsy. We were able to work with them to get a bit of customizations done to the designs they had, so the rings were...

    We didn't do engagement rings, just wedding bands, but we found someone local on Etsy. We were able to work with them to get a bit of customizations done to the designs they had, so the rings were a bit more unique and personal. And we got to support a local business instead of some big chain.

    5 votes
  6. TheD00d
    Link
    I really wanted to find a used diamond but the shape my SO wanted was really difficult to find and then have a local jewler make a custom band. It was a combination of being a hard to find shape...

    I really wanted to find a used diamond but the shape my SO wanted was really difficult to find and then have a local jewler make a custom band. It was a combination of being a hard to find shape and using/wanting rose-gold bands, which as it turns out, a lot of local shops did not want to mess with. Something about it being hard to work with? I never really got a clear answer.

    So I settled on new. And I purchased my SO's engagement ring from MoissaniteCo. Highly recommend them. Both the ring and the band were custom work. They were very quick and responsive with all of my questions. As we got closer to our wedding we needed to order a matching band and they were very helpful in the process as well.

    I liked the ethical nature of moissanite,as did my SO. The gems are lab grown in the US and all of the metals are recycled. I initially looked at a lot of other retailers but was not super happy with supply-chain transparency. For MoissaniteCo I read through the weeds from the actual certification/accreditation body. Which was good enough for me. They get their metals from Harmony Metals and they are SCS Global Services Responsible Certified which based on this info about the NGO, seems pretty good. So I was satisfied that I was able to make an "ethical" purchase with the limited amount of information I had found.

    Hope this helps!

    5 votes
  7. mat
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    I made my own. But that's because I make jewellery for a living. I would recommend finding a local jeweller or someone on Etsy whose work you like (and has good reviews) and talking to them. I...

    I made my own. But that's because I make jewellery for a living.

    I would recommend finding a local jeweller or someone on Etsy whose work you like (and has good reviews) and talking to them. I love talking through ideas with customers even if it doesn't turn into a sale, and while I always do my best for everyone I sell to, I often end up doing better work for people I've spent more time with. I think in part because we've worked together on a design rather than someone just having one of my off-the-shelf designs..

    Funnily enough my wife never wears the original engagement ring I made for her, she had me make something else which pairs better with her wedding ring (that I also made) and is more suitable for everyday wear.

    5 votes
  8. lou
    (edited )
    Link
    In my culture engagement rings are worn by both and require no gems. I got very cheap and simple rings coated in gold. It probably cost less than one tenth of what people spend in the US. If...

    In my culture engagement rings are worn by both and require no gems. I got very cheap and simple rings coated in gold. It probably cost less than one tenth of what people spend in the US. If you're upper class, pure gold is kind of a requirement.

    Wedding rings are more elaborate, but still a fraction of what an American would spend. And you can opt to simply move the ring to another finger instead.

    3 votes
  9. Nohbdy
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    I found a local shop in town (not a franchise and filled with friendly people). After looking at all of the top of the line rings, I felt like I would never be able to afford anything. Then they...

    I found a local shop in town (not a franchise and filled with friendly people). After looking at all of the top of the line rings, I felt like I would never be able to afford anything. Then they guided me to a discount/clearance section. Now, I've been told I have great taste in women's style, from girlfriends to my sister. I see this ring after looking at so many bad options, and KNEW it was right. I can't find a photo right now, but imagine making a single cut in a ring and then bend it to look like one turn of a spiral with a stone set in the center. I ended up going with a lab grown sapphire (shes a huge Doctor Who fan, so Tardis Blue meant something. Plus, I refused to get a diamond because of all of the shitty industry practices and a certain jewelry store has my first name, and I'd rather not see Elon get a fucking dime from me. Hell, I even have a movie poster for Blood Diamond with an incorrect release date that could probably cover that ring.

    Edit: Oh, and take a very long and thorough look at the right before you make you final payment. I found chips in the stone that none of their employees saw.

    3 votes
  10. DougHolland
    Link
    My wife and I were never engaged, but we bought lovely matching wedding rings from street vendors above the Powell Street subway station in San Francisco. Price: $5, for the set. That was 25 years...

    My wife and I were never engaged, but we bought lovely matching wedding rings from street vendors above the Powell Street subway station in San Francisco. Price: $5, for the set.

    That was 25 years ago, so maybe they're $10 now...

    3 votes
  11. Hobbykitjr
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    First off... does she have a family ring? grand mothers ring etc? perhaps you could borrow it just to propose, and then pick something out together? My first wife, i researched online, found a...

    First off... does she have a family ring? grand mothers ring etc? perhaps you could borrow it just to propose, and then pick something out together?

    My first wife, i researched online, found a place that had inventory online and found what i wanted...
    went to store and sure enough.. "oh it just sold... so did you're second pick"

    "Here's a similar diamond [in price only, its A+ in every category and super tiny]. I say it's tiny and then they bring out a big perfect diamond for almost twice the price (around the same size B+/A- diamond i wanted)

    Took a lot of haggling and asking to speak to someone else to find the diamond i originally wanted. Hated it.
    Next time, i'm looking at "lab diamond" Moissanite for sure.

    2 votes
  12. [4]
    Algernon_Asimov
    Link
    Are you looking for a local bricks-and-mortar seller? If so, you might want to tell people what country you're shopping in.

    Are you looking for a local bricks-and-mortar seller? If so, you might want to tell people what country you're shopping in.

    2 votes
    1. [3]
      keb
      Link Parent
      I'm in Florida, USA. I'm primarily looking for online sellers as I haven't had much luck looking at local places here (also the part of Florida I'm in is very suburban, so it's mostly chains and...

      I'm in Florida, USA. I'm primarily looking for online sellers as I haven't had much luck looking at local places here (also the part of Florida I'm in is very suburban, so it's mostly chains and sketchy shops around here).

      1 vote
      1. Darthvadercake
        Link Parent
        My now husband got mine online, and it's beautiful! I love it. We're in the UK though so no recommendation on companies. My main advice is: do you know what her preferences are? Do you want the...

        My now husband got mine online, and it's beautiful! I love it. We're in the UK though so no recommendation on companies.

        My main advice is: do you know what her preferences are? Do you want the engagement to be a complete surprise or have you discussed marriage as an option? If she knows a proposal is likely you can ask her, if not, try asking one of her friends to find out for you, and take some clues from her other jewellery.

        Main questions you need to find answers to: what's her preference in metals, gold or silver? Or something else like platinum?
        What stones would she like, if any? Does she enjoy stones with colour or white, like a diamond? Don't assume all engagement rings need a diamond by default, I know plenty of women with different stones in theirs, including myself.

        If it is a diamond, does she want lab grown, one with imperfections, or does she want a 'real' flawless diamond? And how big or subtle should it be?

        I know these are hard things to get right but finding the right kind of ring is often more important than where you get it from.

        You know your girlfriend better than we do, I would look at her overall preferences. Does she spend a lot on clothes, and buy expensive jewellery? Or would she rather spend it on an experience like a trip, and stick to the cheap stuff for her accessoires?

        An engagement ring usually would be much more than what she would spend on herself. So if she is buying $300 necklaces you can't get her a $150 ring to propose with, it will pale in comparison. But if she never spends more than $30, she might be upset if you spend thousands on a ring, and would rather have kept that money for an actual wedding.

        This is all assuming you have that kind of money to spend. If she has fancy tastes and your budget doesn't allow it, I would advise you propose with a 'placeholder' ring, maybe a really simple engraved one, and then tell her you would like to go shopping for her perfect ring together. Let her have a say on budget and decide as a couple.

        2 votes
      2. Apex
        Link Parent
        I ordered my wife's through James Allen, and she loves it.

        I ordered my wife's through James Allen, and she loves it.

  13. Eg0
    Link
    We both keep up with world news quite a bit, so a diamond was always out of the question. She had mentioned alexandrite, and I found a small Etsy seller who set me up with a simple silver band...

    We both keep up with world news quite a bit, so a diamond was always out of the question. She had mentioned alexandrite, and I found a small Etsy seller who set me up with a simple silver band with a lab grown alexandrite bar and obsidian gemstones. I them made plans with her to have a nice sunrise photoshoot one Saturday morning.

    Being that I'm not a morning person, I suppose my proposal plan was quite obvious.

    That Friday night, she proposed to me with a tungsten carbide ring, also from Etsy.

    2 votes
  14. steezyaspie
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    This won't work for everyone as it really depends on your relationship, but we went to a store together so she could try on different rings and find out what she liked/didn't like and I highly...

    This won't work for everyone as it really depends on your relationship, but we went to a store together so she could try on different rings and find out what she liked/didn't like and I highly recommend doing that, if possible.

    She went into the appointment adamant that she didn't want a diamond ring but did a complete 180 once she tried one on (we both still wanted lab grown for ethical reasons, though).

    We ended up going with Brilliant Earth for both her engagement ring and wedding ring and had a good experience. There are many places to get lab grown diamonds though, and we could have easily ended up elsewhere.

    1 vote
  15. syzygy_ng
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    I got a lab-grown diamond from a local jeweler's, and they were very helpful in showing me different options and bands.

    I got a lab-grown diamond from a local jeweler's, and they were very helpful in showing me different options and bands.

  16. chocobean
    Link
    Moissanite. These days there are a lot more options on how to get them, don't be afriad to check with little local shops for them, even. I wish the frugal, resourceful and off the beaten path...

    Moissanite.

    These days there are a lot more options on how to get them, don't be afriad to check with little local shops for them, even.

    I wish the frugal, resourceful and off the beaten path options become more and more populyeveey year

    Also congrats!!!

  17. JustAHouseCat
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    I went through someone on etsy who made it custom. We went lab grown Moissanite as we didn't want a diamond mined by slaves.

    I went through someone on etsy who made it custom. We went lab grown Moissanite as we didn't want a diamond mined by slaves.

  18. AugustusFerdinand
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    Etsy. Hers: Moissanite for the "diamond" and Morganite for the pink gemstones, rose gold band His: Rainbow anodized titanium band Both custom made to desired specs after finding a seller that...

    Etsy.
    Hers: Moissanite for the "diamond" and Morganite for the pink gemstones, rose gold band
    His: Rainbow anodized titanium band

    Both custom made to desired specs after finding a seller that appeared they could do so.

  19. sophrosyne
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    I ordered my wife's ring from moissaniteco and she loved it. We've been married six years she she still stops and stares at it when the light hits it right. However, beware of bands that are...

    I ordered my wife's ring from moissaniteco and she loved it. We've been married six years she she still stops and stares at it when the light hits it right.

    However, beware of bands that are encrusted with lots of tiny diamonds. Because the band was so dainty, she started having issues with those side diamonds falling out since the prongs are so tiny. Moissaniteco had quick customer service at no charge to replace the stones, but others continued to fall out. We took it to a private jeweler and he said the band was just not well made and the diamonds were not secure. I ended up having him remake the band so it was a bit thicker and reset all the stones. No issues for a year and a half since.

    Anyways, if you're looking for a moissaniteco ring, I recommend them, just be wary of super thin, dainty bands with lots of tiny stones. Hope you find one that your wife loves!

  20. LavenderLily
    (edited )
    Link
    I am loving all these stories about the thought and care everyone has put into these rings! When the topic of marriage came up between me and my boyfriend 20 years ago, all I could think about was...

    I am loving all these stories about the thought and care everyone has put into these rings!

    When the topic of marriage came up between me and my boyfriend 20 years ago, all I could think about was all my friends buying rings they had to get loans for, or the stress of losing or damaging very expensive rings. I told him, buy something you can pay cash for. I didn’t want to start out in debt like our friends.

    So, he did. $350 later, he had a ring and we got married. As much as I was grateful it wasn’t super expensive, here’s what I didn’t think about: I’ve got to wear this everyday for the rest of my life. I felt pretty neutral about the ring; didn’t love it, didn't hate it…it just was.

    If I had it to do over, I would have definitely given more input for him to pick something I adored and didn’t break the bank for that first ring.

    Edit: went off on a tangent thinking about that ring and didn’t even say where we got it. Got it at the only jeweler in town, a local place. It was a set that was mismatched by half a size and that’s why it was marked down to $350. Almost lost the bigger ring a few times as it was the front one.

  21. Nox_bee
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    My wife and I both agreed that big diamonds are worthless and neither of us liked gold as a color. The engagement ring I presented to her was a silver band with a square cut amethyst that I found...

    My wife and I both agreed that big diamonds are worthless and neither of us liked gold as a color.

    The engagement ring I presented to her was a silver band with a square cut amethyst that I found at a consignment shop for $75 and she was absolutely delighted with it. In sunlight the stone will look a deep purple, while in fluorescent light it becomes light pink.

    Both our wedding bands are silver as well, and I believe the pair cost us $50 at a local jeweler.

  22. Nevermoredead
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    I don't know if they are in Florida but I got my future wife's ring at Spence diamonds. I had taken her to jewelry stores and got her to try in some rings for "fun" and took note of what she...

    I don't know if they are in Florida but I got my future wife's ring at Spence diamonds. I had taken her to jewelry stores and got her to try in some rings for "fun" and took note of what she liked. Spence let's you custom design the ring so I found one close to what I wanted and made the adjustment with the jeweler. They have a huge selection of lab grown or "artisan created" diamonds as they call them at a very reasonable price. It also get that extra special "only for her" feel too.

  23. Biscuit
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    Congratulations on your future success! I haven't seen anyone mention consignment shops. Basically a local jeweler will sell jewelry/stones for someone else. Makes it cheaper in the long run and...

    Congratulations on your future success!

    I haven't seen anyone mention consignment shops. Basically a local jeweler will sell jewelry/stones for someone else. Makes it cheaper in the long run and my wife loved her ring.

    The process was similar to other jewelry shops. I went through their catalogs to pick the design of the ring first. My wife wanted Morganite. So the jeweler said to give him a week or two to get ahold of any morganite he could. From what he told me, he would call other jewelers in the area and see what they had with the morganite. After he gathered up all the rings/stones he could find, he had me come in to choose the right stone. From there, I bought the ring that the stone came from and he transplanted it into the design I had picked out.

    I recommend talking with a local jeweler with good reviews. They'll be able to help you find the perfect stone/ring and at the most affordable price, whether it's consignment or not. Better yet, go to multiple jewelers to get as many opinions and quotes as you can before you find the right jeweler to make your ring.