23 votes

Disabilities: Changing bed sheets over multiple days

I recently had an idea I wish I'd thought of a few years ago, but if you have severe difficulty* changing bed sheets, you can actually break the job up over a few days. This is what I've started doing, divided up to have roughly equal energy demands:

Day 1: Change duvet cover
Day 2: Change pillow cases and bed sheet
Day 3: Rest, if needed
Day 4: Wash removed bedding in washing machine

  • if you have orthostatic intolerance, ME/CFS or long covid you might relate to this. It also helps mentally breaking down the tasks like this during periods of intense brain fog.

33 comments

  1. [5]
    cfabbro
    Link
    Solid advice! And it actually mirrors my own oft repeated advice and lived experience as well. I've reposted this old comment of mine a few times here on Tildes, but I think it applies here as well:

    Solid advice! And it actually mirrors my own oft repeated advice and lived experience as well. I've reposted this old comment of mine a few times here on Tildes, but I think it applies here as well:

    This is kind of a dumb reference, but one of the mantras Bill Murray's character uses in the movie What About Bob? is "baby steps". He repeatedly says it out loud, and takes is way too literally, but for whatever reason that mantra has stuck with me, and actually works for me. And now whenever I feel myself getting super depressed, really lazy or anxious, and putting things off for way too long as a result, I just start repeating that in my head for motivation to get me to take that first baby step towards doing something productive for the day.

    I typically start really really small by picking a very easily achievable goal for the day, like "baby steps, take out the trash today" and then repeat it in my head over and over to force myself to do that thing. Not worrying about anything else I need to do that day, just focusing on that one thing until I get it done, even if it takes me 3 hours to do something it would take a "normal" person 20 min to do. But once I get that first thing done I can then move onto the next, like "baby steps, do the dishes", which I find I can more easily motivate myself to do since I am already up and doing something productive anyways. Rinse, repeat, until I do more of the things I need to do that day.

    The key to starting the whole thing is just to take that first baby step though. And even if you don't do everything you needed to do that day, at least you got one or a few things done. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just try to kick off another chain of baby steps tomorrow, and see how long it lasts for. :)

    10 votes
    1. [4]
      FarraigePlaisteach
      Link Parent
      I really enjoyed that movie when it came out. And yes, that's a good approach has the benefit of helping to get started when there's resistance. I think humour can also a really important tool in...

      I really enjoyed that movie when it came out. And yes, that's a good approach has the benefit of helping to get started when there's resistance. I think humour can also a really important tool in tough times.

      3 votes
      1. [3]
        cfabbro
        (edited )
        Link Parent
        What About Bob? actually still holds up surprisingly well, IMO. I rewatch it every few years. And if you haven't seen it since it came out I would recommend giving it a rewatch too. It's great! :)

        What About Bob? actually still holds up surprisingly well, IMO. I rewatch it every few years. And if you haven't seen it since it came out I would recommend giving it a rewatch too. It's great! :)

        3 votes
        1. [2]
          FarraigePlaisteach
          Link Parent
          We all had to prepare a monologue for the drama society one time, so I chose the scene where he first goes to Dr. Marvin's office. I removed Dr. Marvin's lines and instead tweaked Bob's lines to...

          We all had to prepare a monologue for the drama society one time, so I chose the scene where he first goes to Dr. Marvin's office. I removed Dr. Marvin's lines and instead tweaked Bob's lines to make it clear what he was just asked. It went down really well!

          2 votes
          1. cfabbro
            Link Parent
            Nice! I never thought about it before, but there are several great scenes in the movie that would translate incredibly well to the stage. Actually, the whole movie could with a bit of tweaking,...

            Nice! I never thought about it before, but there are several great scenes in the movie that would translate incredibly well to the stage. Actually, the whole movie could with a bit of tweaking, TBH. :P

            2 votes
  2. [22]
    Weldawadyathink
    Link
    Do you use a top sheet? I am guessing you are from Europe, or somewhere else that does not use a top sheet, based on your steps. In the US, we typically use a top and bottom sheet, so the only...

    Do you use a top sheet? I am guessing you are from Europe, or somewhere else that does not use a top sheet, based on your steps. In the US, we typically use a top and bottom sheet, so the only parts that need to be changed regularly is two sheets and pillow cases. The duvet cover can then be changed much less often. It might be worth trying out that setup, because changing a duvet cover is an absolute pain.

    8 votes
    1. [14]
      papasquat
      Link Parent
      I've gotta be honest with you, I don't even fully grasp what a duvet cover even is. I keep hearing people online talk about duvet covers, and it seems like the term has become really popular in...

      I've gotta be honest with you, I don't even fully grasp what a duvet cover even is. I keep hearing people online talk about duvet covers, and it seems like the term has become really popular in the last 5 years, which is probably the first time I've heard it in my life. I've googled this periodically and just ended up more confused.

      Growing up, we had just... Blankets. Sometimes we called them comforters if they were extra thick, and sometimes we called them quilts if they were.. quilted. You'd either just have the blanket, or a top sheet, and then a blanket on top of that.
      What's a duvet though? Is that a fancier word for a blanket/comforter? If so, what is a duvet cover? A blanket that covers your blanket? Why would you need this?

      I'm pretty sure I've never seen anything like that in my life, but people talk about them online as if it's very common. Is it because I'm American and it's a non American thing?

      5 votes
      1. [9]
        stu2b50
        Link Parent
        A duvet is a comforter. A duvet cover goes over the comforter, like a pillowcase for a pillow. It’s like underwear for your duvet. Washing and drying a whole ass duvet can be quite an ordeal, and...

        A duvet is a comforter. A duvet cover goes over the comforter, like a pillowcase for a pillow. It’s like underwear for your duvet. Washing and drying a whole ass duvet can be quite an ordeal, and if it’s stuffed in some way it may permanently damage the stuffing.

        The cover gets the brunt of your body oil and dead skin and misc dirt and so forth. Washing the cover is easy, since it’s a fairly thin piece of cloth. As long as you don’t spill wine on it or something usually just washing the cover will suffice for standard maintenance.

        6 votes
        1. [5]
          mattw2121
          Link Parent
          Thanks for this. So, I just searched Amazon for a duvet cover and I get a listing called "Bedsure White Duvet Cover Queen Size - 3 Pieces Prewashed Cotton-Like Extra Soft Bedding Set, Includes 1...

          Thanks for this. So, I just searched Amazon for a duvet cover and I get a listing called "Bedsure White Duvet Cover Queen Size - 3 Pieces Prewashed Cotton-Like Extra Soft Bedding Set, Includes 1 Duvet Cover 90x90 Inches with Zipper Closure & 2 Pillow Shams, Comforter Not Included".

          Hilarious that they say "Comforter Not Included". Why call it a duvet when referencing the cover and a comforter when it's by itself?

          Why not a "Comforter Cover" or "Comforter Protector" or "Comforter Sleeve"?

          1 vote
          1. [4]
            FarraigePlaisteach
            Link Parent
            I think the term Duvet is British. I've never heard it outside of there. And in Ireland, we didn't have them growing up. I only switched to them due to allergies. I'm guessing they're called...

            I think the term Duvet is British. I've never heard it outside of there. And in Ireland, we didn't have them growing up. I only switched to them due to allergies. I'm guessing they're called comforters in the US. Here's a Wikipedia page that describes it well and actually shows what it looks like under the heading "Description" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duvet

            2 votes
            1. [3]
              DefinitelyNotAFae
              Link Parent
              In the US we don't use covers on comforters but can buy duvets and duvet covers if people prefer. Or I mostly use a thick blanket instead.

              In the US we don't use covers on comforters but can buy duvets and duvet covers if people prefer. Or I mostly use a thick blanket instead.

              3 votes
              1. [2]
                tanglisha
                Link Parent
                I think the language may be a regional thing. I grew up in the Midwest using comforters, now I’m on the west coast and everyone calls them duvets, both the kind made for covers and the kind that...

                I think the language may be a regional thing. I grew up in the Midwest using comforters, now I’m on the west coast and everyone calls them duvets, both the kind made for covers and the kind that aren’t.

                1 vote
        2. [3]
          papasquat
          Link Parent
          So it's like a shell that the duvet sits in? Or it just sits on top of the duvet? I think that's the function I always used the top sheet for. I don't wash the comforter usually (maybe like once a...

          So it's like a shell that the duvet sits in? Or it just sits on top of the duvet?

          I think that's the function I always used the top sheet for. I don't wash the comforter usually (maybe like once a year, but I have to take it to a dry cleaner that has giant professional washing machines). Am I right to assume that using a top sheet + a duvet cover would be redundant?

          1. tanglisha
            Link Parent
            I believe the covers were probably created for down (the warm inner feathers of usually geese) comforters. They’re not straightforward to clean, you end up losing feathers and the stuffing moves...

            I believe the covers were probably created for down (the warm inner feathers of usually geese) comforters. They’re not straightforward to clean, you end up losing feathers and the stuffing moves if the inner construction of the duvet doesn’t hold them in place well enough.

            Down comforters/duvets are pretty amazing. They weigh next to nothing and are so very warm without making you feel overheated if the weather changes.

            3 votes
          2. stu2b50
            Link Parent
            A shell. Some people use both, but I’d imagine that would be in colder areas.

            A shell. Some people use both, but I’d imagine that would be in colder areas.

            1 vote
      2. chocobean
        Link Parent
        I'm in the opposite boat. I always marvel at American beds with its many useless layers, because I grew up with beds like this: ___________ oooooooo ___________ Human ========== ######### ooo is a...

        I'm in the opposite boat. I always marvel at American beds with its many useless layers, because I grew up with beds like this:

        ___________
        oooooooo
        ___________
        Human 
        ==========
        #########
        
        

        ooo is a duvet. A duvet is, if you imagine taking two American sheets and making an enclosed pocket, stuffing it full of goose down or cotton, then permanently closing it. It's a fluffy comforter that let's some air exchange like a crochet blanket, but not itchy and fully of holes your toes can get stuck in.

        The solid lines are another pocket of flat sheets that form a large zippered pouch. You unzip, insert duvet, and zip. So now you just have one big fluffy comforter.

        No sheets. Just human.

        Then fitted bedsheets (===) over a mattress (###)

        So much easier to climb into a bed this way, with only one possible thing to lift and slid into.

        2 votes
      3. [3]
        mattw2121
        Link Parent
        I'm in the same boat as you and have always concluded that duvet covers are comforters.

        I'm in the same boat as you and have always concluded that duvet covers are comforters.

        1. [2]
          boxer_dogs_dance
          Link Parent
          The duvet is a comforter. A duvet cover is something most of us don't use in the US. It is like a pillowcase but it frequently has buttons or snaps and the comforter goes inside the cover.

          The duvet is a comforter.

          A duvet cover is something most of us don't use in the US. It is like a pillowcase but it frequently has buttons or snaps and the comforter goes inside the cover.

          1 vote
          1. Zorind
            Link Parent
            IMO a comforter and a duvet are different, in that a duvet requires a cover, whereas a comforter has the cover sewn into it. A duvet without a cover would be like a pillow without a pillowcase....

            IMO a comforter and a duvet are different, in that a duvet requires a cover, whereas a comforter has the cover sewn into it.

            A duvet without a cover would be like a pillow without a pillowcase. Sure, you could sleep on it, but’s it’s got a plain design and isn’t built for it.

            Whereas a comforter usually has some sort of design to it, and is meant to be standalone. And usually has a “thicker” material.

            4 votes
    2. [3]
      DefinitelyNotAFae
      Link Parent
      The top sheet varies a lot in the US, it comes with the sets but many of my millennial peers and I, at least, mostly avoid it. I break it out only when it's particularly warm or my skin says...

      The top sheet varies a lot in the US, it comes with the sets but many of my millennial peers and I, at least, mostly avoid it. I break it out only when it's particularly warm or my skin says everything else feels bad. (My fuzzy blanket works sensory-wise for me similarly to a weighted blanket)

      3 votes
      1. [2]
        lackofaname
        Link Parent
        Interesting, I didn't know that habit hopped the pond. I don't know if it's a CAN/US difference (I'm Canadian), or just that variation you mentioned, but I feel weird not using a topsheet with my...

        Interesting, I didn't know that habit hopped the pond. I don't know if it's a CAN/US difference (I'm Canadian), or just that variation you mentioned, but I feel weird not using a topsheet with my duvet, in part because it's way easier to strip and wash, cheaper to replace, and gives me an extra layer to adjust my temperature overnight (sheet only, half sheet/half duvet, all).

        2 votes
        1. DefinitelyNotAFae
          Link Parent
          It feels like a habit I got into in high school and carried over into college and adulthood. I'm not sure that it came from anywhere, just I think a change in norms as we get less formal in...

          It feels like a habit I got into in high school and carried over into college and adulthood. I'm not sure that it came from anywhere, just I think a change in norms as we get less formal in general maybe?

          2 votes
    3. [4]
      FarraigePlaisteach
      Link Parent
      That's a great suggestion, thank you! You're right, I'm in Europe and don't usually use a top sheet these days (although we grew up with them here in Ireland). I'll need a way to "clip" the top...

      That's a great suggestion, thank you! You're right, I'm in Europe and don't usually use a top sheet these days (although we grew up with them here in Ireland). I'll need a way to "clip" the top sheet to the duvet, which shouldn't be too difficult. I have a weighted blanket too and the whole stack does slide around fairly regularly, like a hastily assembled hamburger :) I'll definitely do that, thank you so much!

      2 votes
      1. [3]
        DefinitelyNotAFae
        Link Parent
        Weighted blankets are so good but fall off the bed at the slightest bit of gravity and it's upsetting.

        Weighted blankets are so good but fall off the bed at the slightest bit of gravity and it's upsetting.

        2 votes
        1. [2]
          FarraigePlaisteach
          Link Parent
          I do find them tedious that way, despite the benefits. I can't sleep without them. It would be ideal to attach them lightly to the bed frame in a way that only allows them limited movement.

          I do find them tedious that way, despite the benefits. I can't sleep without them. It would be ideal to attach them lightly to the bed frame in a way that only allows them limited movement.

          1. DefinitelyNotAFae
            Link Parent
            Yeah I'm not sure how to accomplish it without trapping me. So I pivoted and have a heavy but more tactile fuzzy blanket

            Yeah I'm not sure how to accomplish it without trapping me. So I pivoted and have a heavy but more tactile fuzzy blanket

            1 vote
  3. snake_case
    Link
    I kinda do dishes this way. Ive got a dishwasher, so loading the dishwasher with whats on the sink is a task. Then hand washing anything that cant be heated in the dishwasher And then any large...

    I kinda do dishes this way.

    Ive got a dishwasher, so loading the dishwasher with whats on the sink is a task.

    Then hand washing anything that cant be heated in the dishwasher

    And then any large pots and pans is its own task, maybe one at a time.

    4 votes
  4. Yosef_25
    Link
    I am humbled to read the comments. It reminds me of James Clear’s Atomic Habits.

    I am humbled to read the comments.
    It reminds me of James Clear’s Atomic Habits.

    3 votes
  5. [4]
    semsevfor
    Link
    How often do people change their sheets? I always heard you do it once a month maybe, I don't see any need to do it every few days, that's wild

    How often do people change their sheets? I always heard you do it once a month maybe, I don't see any need to do it every few days, that's wild

    2 votes
    1. FarraigePlaisteach
      Link Parent
      If you have allergies, once per week. For everyone else, once every two weeks. At least, that's what I hear most often:...

      If you have allergies, once per week. For everyone else, once every two weeks. At least, that's what I hear most often: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/house-and-home/household-advice/a28407426/how-often-wash-sheets-care/

      I'm currently washing them once per month in practise, but I'm aiming to do it once every two weeks minimum. Growing up, we didn't changed them even nearly that often.

      2 votes
    2. Weldawadyathink
      Link Parent
      I have always heard once a week is ideal. I aim for 2-4 weeks.

      I have always heard once a week is ideal. I aim for 2-4 weeks.

      2 votes
    3. fxgn
      Link Parent
      Whenever I start feeling a bit gross from sleeping on old sheets, which is generally about once a week or a bit less.

      Whenever I start feeling a bit gross from sleeping on old sheets, which is generally about once a week or a bit less.

      2 votes