29 votes

What's changed here on tildes?

So I've returned here after being gone for about a year. I didn't "leave" on purpose, just got distracted with some life stuff.

I'm happy to be back and to see the community is still as awesome as it was before. I'm also happy to see that on the technical side the site is still super minimalist and easy to use.

But what do you feel has changed here in the last year? Are there more users? Have the topics shifted? Are the opinions of users trending in a certain direction?

I'm really happy to be back and thanks for keeping me updated! :)

34 comments

  1. [5]
    aphoenix
    Link
    Very little has changed. I haven't noticed any specific shifts in content, or in user demographics. However, I think you're in a unique position to tell us what has changed! Small shifts that you...

    Very little has changed. I haven't noticed any specific shifts in content, or in user demographics. However, I think you're in a unique position to tell us what has changed! Small shifts that you take part in are tough to see, so you might have a fresh view on what is different after a week or two.

    18 votes
    1. [4]
      Grendel
      Link Parent
      I've only been back for a few days, but I'd be happy to share any differences that I notice :)

      I've only been back for a few days, but I'd be happy to share any differences that I notice :)

      7 votes
      1. [3]
        aphoenix
        Link Parent
        I think we'd all be interested. And I'm glad that you are back; I hope you post more of your photography.

        I think we'd all be interested. And I'm glad that you are back; I hope you post more of your photography.

        1 vote
        1. [2]
          Grendel
          Link Parent
          Thanks! Wow, several users have mentioned my photography since I've come back, and it honestly makes me feel really good to see that it left an impact on people. Things are so fast-paced on the...

          Thanks!
          Wow, several users have mentioned my photography since I've come back, and it honestly makes me feel really good to see that it left an impact on people.

          Things are so fast-paced on the internet that it's easy to feel like the work you put out there is almost immediately forgotten

          5 votes
          1. kfwyre
            Link Parent
            Add me to the list. I was thrilled to see your name on my screen again! I too love your photography. I also hope things are going well with your family.

            Add me to the list. I was thrilled to see your name on my screen again! I too love your photography.

            I also hope things are going well with your family.

            5 votes
  2. [8]
    lou
    (edited )
    Link
    I observed both before and after making this account, and my impression is that a few very proper acts of moderation, as well as some fruitful criticism by our most tempered users, made Tildes...

    I observed both before and after making this account, and my impression is that a few very proper acts of moderation, as well as some fruitful criticism by our most tempered users, made Tildes even nicer and mellow, and nowadays I feel a lot more relaxed in my interactions. I have trouble dealing with heated discussions, and any hint of aggressiveness (as well as irony and sarcasm at my expense) is enough to make me profoundly distressed, but I even participated in sensitive topics that usually scare me away.

    9 votes
    1. [5]
      Adys
      Link Parent
      Huh, now you mention it, I think I feel that as well. Tildes has indeed become more "mellow" and I actually quite like it. It's unfortunate that the activity went a bit down with it, though.

      Huh, now you mention it, I think I feel that as well. Tildes has indeed become more "mellow" and I actually quite like it. It's unfortunate that the activity went a bit down with it, though.

      7 votes
      1. [4]
        Rez
        Link Parent
        There was a clique of active long-term posters that tended to get themselves riled up over the state of the website - as far as I can tell due to conversations they were having with each other...

        There was a clique of active long-term posters that tended to get themselves riled up over the state of the website - as far as I can tell due to conversations they were having with each other off-site, like on Discord or elsewhere. I say that because it seems like a lot of their grievances would come out of the blue. I don’t want to characterize those grievances though since I don’t want to strawman them since as far as I can infer I might be one of the posters they aren’t too fond of. They had fantastic, diverse contributions to the website with their perspectives and experiences but it seemed like every few months the venting they had off-site would boil over into drama on here out of seemingly nowhere.

        17 votes
        1. [3]
          mtset
          Link Parent
          Hi! One of those people here. I was here since the very early days and ended up leaving for several months before signing up again after seeing discussion improve. Most of those grievances were...

          Hi! One of those people here. I was here since the very early days and ended up leaving for several months before signing up again after seeing discussion improve.

          Most of those grievances were not due to off-site issue (in my experience) but rather because of moderation decisions we disagreed with, which have largely ceased, and people who consistently pushed folks' buttons intentionally, who largely got removed or left of their own free will.

          In other words: I think the site is more chill because the site is more chill! At least, that's been my experience, and it's been nice.

          11 votes
          1. [2]
            Rez
            Link Parent
            Ah sorry I don’t mean the issues were off-site, just that they seemed to be having discussions off-site and constructing a separate narrative disconnected from what one could read on here, and it...

            Ah sorry I don’t mean the issues were off-site, just that they seemed to be having discussions off-site and constructing a separate narrative disconnected from what one could read on here, and it would just bubble over as drama on here every so often.

            15 votes
            1. mtset
              Link Parent
              Ah, understood. Thanks for clarifying!

              Ah, understood. Thanks for clarifying!

              4 votes
    2. [2]
      bub
      Link Parent
      That's good to hear. Every time I see a post about U.S. politics, or anything relating to identity of any kind, I know to steer clear. It seems like there's always someone lurking in those threads...

      That's good to hear. Every time I see a post about U.S. politics, or anything relating to identity of any kind, I know to steer clear. It seems like there's always someone lurking in those threads trying to dissect every sentence for some tangential morsel they can latch onto to misrepresent what you say and say ugly stuff about you.

      And it's usually someone who you mostly agree with, and who you'd probably get along with in real life, but who is looking really hard for a fight. It's a horrible feeling to be caught off guard by one of these interactions.

      But if you've noticed an improvement along those lines, maybe someday I'll try opening those threads again.

      5 votes
      1. lou
        Link Parent
        Oh my god yes! I wrote about this, actually. You're pretty much reading my thoughts on this. Now I feel an obligation to contribute positively to those threads, because if things get ugly...

        It seems like there's always someone lurking in those threads trying to dissect every sentence for some tangential morsel they can latch onto to misrepresent what you say and say ugly stuff about you.

        Oh my god yes! I wrote about this, actually. You're pretty much reading my thoughts on this.

        But if you've noticed an improvement along those lines, maybe someday I'll try opening those threads again.

        Now I feel an obligation to contribute positively to those threads, because if things get ugly everything I said above will be proven wrong, and I hate being wrong :P

        6 votes
  3. [15]
    Whom
    Link
    Some good users left and made beehaw.org. I'm not trying to build any narrative with this really, things have just been plodding along here otherwise. For better or for worse, it's pretty sleepy...

    Some good users left and made beehaw.org.

    I'm not trying to build any narrative with this really, things have just been plodding along here otherwise. For better or for worse, it's pretty sleepy around here nowadays.

    9 votes
    1. [14]
      Grendel
      (edited )
      Link Parent
      EDIT: A user private messaged me a one-liner explanation that is more than sufficient. I don't want to bring up bad memories, so please disregard my request for an explanation. Huh, is there a...

      EDIT: A user private messaged me a one-liner explanation that is more than sufficient. I don't want to bring up bad memories, so please disregard my request for an explanation.

      Some good users left and made beehaw.org.

      Huh, is there a story behind that or is it a mess that doesn't need to be discussed?

      I'm just curious on how they thought they could improve on tildes' model

      6 votes
      1. [10]
        DrStone
        Link Parent
        First I've heard of beehaw, but at least two of the three listed admins in the right panel were well-known names on Tildes with well-known grievances and/or clashes with Tildes.

        Huh, is there a story behind that or is it a mess that doesn't need to be discussed?

        First I've heard of beehaw, but at least two of the three listed admins in the right panel were well-known names on Tildes with well-known grievances and/or clashes with Tildes.

        6 votes
        1. AugustusFerdinand
          Link Parent
          Yep, and enough for me to not be interested. Wish them the best of luck.

          Yep, and enough for me to not be interested. Wish them the best of luck.

          6 votes
        2. [8]
          Cycloneblaze
          Link Parent
          The third one was @suspended here.

          The third one was @suspended here.

          4 votes
          1. [7]
            nukeman
            Link Parent
            Ah man I didn’t realize they’d left. Why did they leave?

            Ah man I didn’t realize they’d left. Why did they leave?

            3 votes
            1. [6]
              TheJorro
              Link Parent
              I think you should ask them directly. Such things should come directly from the source as anything filtered through another person would carry some level of hearsay or gossip. I don't agree with...

              I think you should ask them directly. Such things should come directly from the source as anything filtered through another person would carry some level of hearsay or gossip.

              I don't agree with that group or how the situation played out but they had some personal grievances that is best coming from the source.

              7 votes
              1. [5]
                nukeman
                Link Parent
                I get that, but I don’t want to create an account on another website just to ask that one question.

                I get that, but I don’t want to create an account on another website just to ask that one question.

                3 votes
                1. [4]
                  Kuromantis
                  Link Parent
                  You can ask them on the Discord, they're still there.

                  You can ask them on the Discord, they're still there.

                  1 vote
                  1. [3]
                    cfabbro
                    (edited )
                    Link Parent
                    Okay, since now people are being sent private messages about this, and also pointed to Discord, but I quit the Tildes Discord ages ago (in large part due to drama like this constantly bubbling up...

                    Okay, since now people are being sent private messages about this, and also pointed to Discord, but I quit the Tildes Discord ages ago (in large part due to drama like this constantly bubbling up and festering there), and so I won't be able to defend myself, here's my perspective on @suspended, what happened with them, between us, and the most likely reason why they left the site.

                    They got temp banned for a few days for being an asshole towards another user here on Tildes, then used a reddit alt account to request an invite code on /r/tildes in order to create another Tildes account to evade the ban. After they got caught creating the new Tildes account while still temp banned they were removed as a mod of /r/tildes, and their temp ban here was extended. That's bad enough, I guess... But IMO the worst part was that even after doing all that they refused to accept responsibility, or apologize, for their actions. Instead they repeatedly claimed that they weren't really trying to ban evade, it was just a "test", they didn't know they couldn't create another account while banned, it wasn't that big of a deal, etc.etc.etc.

                    A few months later they then publicly asked me why I was rarely ever interacting with them anymore, and was seemingly going out of my way to avoid them (which I was), and when I explained why (their actions really hurt my feelings and made me feel stupid/naive for having trusted them), they flew off the handle, got a bunch of their comments removed as a result of all the insults they hurled my way, and then shortly afterwards deleted their account here.

                    Note: I genuinely considered @suspended a friend, and I was even the one that vouched for them to Deimos, and made them a /r/tildes mod in the first place. But they took that trust and friendship, and abused it, and me.

                    So there. That's my perspective on what happened with @suspended.

                    cc: @nukeman @TheJorro @Grendel

                    8 votes
                    1. [2]
                      Grendel
                      Link Parent
                      Thank you for taking the high road in your description of the events. I was trying to do a good thing by saying no longer needed an account of the story, but I see now how mentioning that I got a...

                      Thank you for taking the high road in your description of the events. I was trying to do a good thing by saying no longer needed an account of the story, but I see now how mentioning that I got a PM would set you on edge.

                      For the record, the PM mentioned no names and just said that people left over bullying.

                      I'm sad to hear that you went through that. It's crazy how people can seem to be okay for a long time and then suddenly everything changes.

                      I would never excuse these kinds of of behaviors, but I also hope that the individuals involved are doing okay in there personal lives. Sometimes radical changes can be a sign that they are going through a horrible time.

                      @cfabbro thanks for sticking around and for showing grace and kindness when it was hardest!

                      4 votes
                      1. cfabbro
                        (edited )
                        Link Parent
                        Me too. Despite everything that happened between us I still hope he and his family are doing well. I thought the exact same thing, TBH. The entire time I had known him he had never acted like that...

                        I also hope that the individuals involved are doing okay in there personal lives.

                        Me too. Despite everything that happened between us I still hope he and his family are doing well.

                        Sometimes radical changes can be a sign that they are going through a horrible time.

                        I thought the exact same thing, TBH. The entire time I had known him he had never acted like that before, and he was honestly one of the most generous and hard working people I knew. He did an absolute shit ton of work for /r/AskBibleScholars, a bunch of other subreddits, and people (including me). But a few months before the final blowout he started acting really out of character, even getting temp banned a few other times before the final one. And when we talked about it I did actually try to suggest a few things (therapy, light therapy, meditation, etc) before we finally had our falling out. So I genuinely do hope he did finally figure out what was wrong, and is doing better.

                        That's a big part of why I don't like talking about this shit, since I don't want to make him seem like a bad person. He isn't. But I also don't want to be made out to be the bad person in this situation either, which is why I finally felt compelled to respond. :(

                        8 votes
      2. [3]
        Whom
        Link Parent
        Regardless of what went down, I do think it's worth checking out beehaw. My home server is still lemmy.ml until they implement account transfers like mastodon has, but I'm subscribed to the beehaw...

        Regardless of what went down, I do think it's worth checking out beehaw. My home server is still lemmy.ml until they implement account transfers like mastodon has, but I'm subscribed to the beehaw communities I'm interested in and they're lovely. I do wish they were able to get the Tildes software working like they originally planned, though.

        4 votes
        1. Micycle_the_Bichael
          Link Parent
          That one is on me unfortunately :/ by the time I got my life in some semblance of order that I could take on a personal coding project, they had already committed to Lemmy.

          I do wish they were able to get the Tildes software working like they originally planned, though.

          That one is on me unfortunately :/ by the time I got my life in some semblance of order that I could take on a personal coding project, they had already committed to Lemmy.

          4 votes
        2. skybrian
          Link Parent
          Is there a reason why the UI there is in Italian when all the comments are in English? (At least, it is when I look at it.)

          Is there a reason why the UI there is in Italian when all the comments are in English? (At least, it is when I look at it.)

          1 vote
  4. [2]
    GnomeChompski
    Link
    I'm in a very similar situation as @Grendel and I agree that overall not much has changed and this is an awesome community and design, but I feel as though there's been a nuanced shift in...

    I'm in a very similar situation as @Grendel and I agree that overall not much has changed and this is an awesome community and design, but I feel as though there's been a nuanced shift in demographics. Most opinions here have more often than not been based in reason and facts, even in topics of social justice. But I think there's been a slight shift in individual's approach. I specifically believe that there's social justice born of a desire to seek balance and argued by fact, but that it can also be marred by anger and revenge. The latter is sometimes a latent part of the person's argument and is hard to call out but can be inferred by choice of words and context. I've seen more of the latter.

    8 votes
    1. AugustusFerdinand
      Link Parent
      Agreed that I've noticed that as well, but I largely chalk it up to fatigue. We are in a period that involves the rolling back of many hard fought social justice reforms and a lot of the people...

      Agreed that I've noticed that as well, but I largely chalk it up to fatigue. We are in a period that involves the rolling back of many hard fought social justice reforms and a lot of the people arguing for them have had these arguments for a long time and have grown tired of repeating them.

      I know I have, so I've mostly stayed out of the conversations because it's either screaming into the void of people who can't be convinced otherwise or it's preaching to the choir (mostly the latter here).

      14 votes
  5. skybrian
    Link
    If anything, it seems quieter. There's been a lot of discussion of Ukraine, though.

    If anything, it seems quieter. There's been a lot of discussion of Ukraine, though.

    7 votes
  6. [3]
    acdw
    Link
    Hey, I'm also back! Trying to cut down on Reddit since it's a dumpsterfire. Glad to see you!

    Hey, I'm also back! Trying to cut down on Reddit since it's a dumpsterfire. Glad to see you!

    5 votes
    1. [2]
      Grendel
      Link Parent
      Same to you! I love the topics here, but it's the people and the comments that really make it special. Yep, I try to really limit what reddit subs I'm a member of and I never look at r/all. Still...

      Same to you! I love the topics here, but it's the people and the comments that really make it special.

      Yep, I try to really limit what reddit subs I'm a member of and I never look at r/all. Still a lot of negative things but it at least cuts down on it.

      4 votes
      1. acdw
        Link Parent
        Yeah, I end up scrolling r/all for like, hours. It's a whole problem, lol. It'd be nice if I could just block r/all, actually (since I often go to individual subreddits for news/etc).

        Yeah, I end up scrolling r/all for like, hours. It's a whole problem, lol. It'd be nice if I could just block r/all, actually (since I often go to individual subreddits for news/etc).

        2 votes