As I get older, I get more and more disillusioned with "activism", and I'm fine with this
Long story short, I grew up believing that a great deal of worth of someone's life was effecting change, especially politically. That's why I valued activism. It took courage, especially considering I don't live in a developed country.
The older I got and more problems I faced, I started to realize how unsatisfactory, even hollow this was. Modes of activism I engaged in didn't seem to fulfill me emotionally anymore, they were mostly impersonal, and they didn't seem to change anything. I have a lot of views that are extremely unorthodox for the place I live in, and I don't see any political movement that internalizes those values. I am extremely alienated from the "nation" I am supposedly part of, and from the political movements within it.
Another angle is that I recently realized how misguided I was. I was mostly doing mental labor, believing in the axiom that ideas can change things. But after some time and readings, I started thinking activities that aim for collective action and concrete changes (e.g. syndicates) were much more important. These are not available to me.
I feel like I have wasted a lot of my time. I pursued ideals more than my own emotional needs, believing they would make me happy and fulfilled, and they didn't. I pursued a way of engaging in politics that felt good but didn't effect change.
Don't get me wrong, while this is exasperating, it's also extremely liberating, joyful even. I enjoy the moments of quiet destruction that bring about the new. I no longer feel ashamed to admit I want comfort and stability in my life, and I don't want to take unnecessary risks. I have enough problems as is.
With this being said, I haven't given up on effecting change. I think it's much more convoluted and different than what I imagined when I was younger, and it's not generally about "going out there and showing up" or writing political texts and such. There are also levels to creating change, as it's not a binary thing.
At this point, I want to primarily live for myself, participate in some kind of change without risking myself to the point of overwhelming anxiety, and make more personal and real connections with people in general, including during effecting change.
What I've written here is a bit rough, but it's still an ongoing and raw process for me, and this post is more of a conversation topic, rather than a properly structured argument. I am interested in hearing your opinions. Has anyone had similar experiences, or things this post reminded you of?
I kinda understand where you're coming from. I've never been too directly involved in activist organizations because it just didn't feel impactful to me. (And some of the organizations are just super toxic internally.)
What I have tried to do is participate in Urbanist/YIMBY activities like local city council meetings and messaging my representatives whenever there are discussions about land use etc. It's still kinda exhausting sometimes, but the changes are tangible. NIMBY busybodies always show up, so I try to provide the underrepresented viewpoint of a young person that wants more housing, mixed-use developments, and cycling infrastructure.
The other thing that kinda helped me feel better about my place in the world is donating money to urbanist organizations I like as well as some content creators and creatives that I appreciate. It's not much, but I live comfortably enough that I can donate occasionally.
I grew up in a diplomatic family (as in, both my parents were professional diplomats.) They very much wanted and worked towards 'a better world for all', but were wary of activists, and for good reasons.
There is a choice, between feeling righteous, and being right. Real problems are complex, and often have muddy solutions. The Clarity of the Righteous is what most people prefer, and it is exceedingly dangerous. Simple, Straightforward, and more than happy to sacrifice anyone in their way that is designated 'wrong'. You couldn't find a better definition of the road to hell is paved with good intentions if you tried.
To quote CS Lewis-
“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.”
All that being said, my parents also taught me to look on the positive side of these traits. Wanting to affect change for the better is a strong drive in humanity. It genuinely, honestly is. It can be perverted in to awful deeds, yes. But it can work out. Three steps forward, 2.9 steps back. But as ugly and bloody as it can be, progress is made. And that is something worth holding on to.
I'm not sure if you're American or not, but out here we have a bunch of privately run organizations that exist essentially to make their communities better. Sounds like exactly what you're describing -- a group of people coming together to make changes, however big or small, to provide help and services to those who need it. If you want to get involved in your community, I guarantee these are some of the most effective ways to do so. A few examples:
Rotary Club
It's a big service organization which, admittedly, seems to be populated with people who are just there to grow connections and rub shoulders with shot-callers in the area. But that doesn't mean they don't do good things -- they built an accessible playground for kids with disabilities around here that everyone seems to rave about.
Freemasons
Everybody says these guys stole the Declaration of Independence from Nicolas Cage or some shit, but the reality is it's a fraternal organization that does a bunch of community work helping out, raising money, that kind of thing.
If you're already a master mason: Shriners International
The Elks
The Flintstones made jokes about these guys back in the 70s via the Benevolent Order of the Water Buffalo, but it's the same thing as the others, albeit maybe smaller. Groups of neighbors coming together to do community service, help feed hungry people, bring a little light into the world.
Honorable Mentions
Fraternal Order of Eagles
Independent Order of Odd Fellows
Kiwanis Club
Drawbacks
The reality is, most of these organizations are full of old retirees. They meet in the middle of the day during the week and they've got a bunch of really old school notions of how the world operates. To an extent, they're right, but the world's changing and a lot of them need to be dragged into the 21st century.
Silver Lining
But, to me, that means they need younger people there! People who can become leaders by bringing a few fresh ideas. And there is sooo much low-hanging fruit in a lot of these organizations. Even stuff like actually having a social media page to get people to show up to events -- really simple stuff that younger people are good at.
Anyway, I forget where I was going with this. These people have the tools and resources to help affect change. Get involved, don't be intimidated, and don't underestimate what you can bring to the table to a bunch of already-well-connected people in your community!
From personal experience: masons and elks vary a lot by location. Elks began life as a drinking club and hasn’t progressed in many places. Rotary are more about business development, but can dongood. Kiwanis is usually awesome, but suffer old folks syndrome like you describe. Masons vary a lot. Many southern masons are basically kkk. Northern are better.
But you are very right at your basic. It’s these institutions, plus better churches, that will populate better governments and make for better societies.
Can confirm from my limited experience growing up in a small midwest town that Kiwanis club did a great deal for the community. They were always well connected with school organizations (Key club, Sports, scouts, etc) and churches, and were often at the center of positive community events (fundraisers, community cleanup, etc).
Oh man, forgot about Kiwanis. And I guess I'll also add the Shriners because those little cars and fezzes are dope
Just a note, not all of these orgs will be welcoming to women, trans men, or non-binary folks at the local levels. And most if not all*, have a history of white only membership. Some may still be segregated today in practice.
I don't know OP, but these organizations may genuinely not be an option for some folks due to being unwelcoming or unsafe, or due to not wanting to join an org built on exclusion. So I thought it worth mentioning.
*I can't find information on the Kiwanis history, but most of the orgs removed their whites only clauses in the 70's, some permit women, some have auxiliaries, some have weird hoops to jump through (about disaffiliating entirely to rejoin the main org) to switch from auxiliary to member, and so people don't. In the past 20 years the South White Masonic lodges were still not recognizing Black Masons as fellow Masons.
Must be a Master Mason with Freemasonry to be a Shriner, fyi.
Thanks, updated
I am pretty disillusioned with most avenues for political change, so I'm mostly focused on directly supporting people and organizations in my community that are doing worthwhile things. So that means volunteering at my daughter's school, coordinating volunteers to care for a friend during surgery recovery, bringing food to people who are ill, etc.
It's not the biggest change in the world, but I'm able to directly meet an unmet need. Sort of a "it made a difference to that one" mentality.
Thank you for sharing. This is my hope too.
We in the US might not think about the real physical risk that can come with activism in a country that is not 'developed'. Depending on the specific country and government and what kind of change you are advocating for.
Best of luck to you and yours.
I was much more politically active when I was younger. I've started movements and protests that you have probably heard about. Lately, I just want to build a community of like-minded people and live in peace. And I have.
While it's fun to make politicians beg you to stop, that is a hard life. I'm good at it, but it wears on me. Also, I don't enjoy having power over people. It feels gross to give people ideas and have them get beaten or arrested for doing the things you encourage. People have died doing things I helped start. I have the skills to never have been injured or prosecuted, but others do not. It's not really fair for me to lead people into danger.
As much as I want to believe people are autonomous agents making their own decisions, many people just aren't. I mean, look at wars. If you tell someone to go die for your cause, and you've convinced them you're right and respected, certain people will take bullets for you.
There is a lot wrong with the world. What do you do about it? I focus on building the world I believe in rather than tearing the old one down. I am part of a very large polycule consisting of highly skilled people. At home, I'm working on growing cheap, self-assembling, neuromorhic computing hardware to make AI accessible to the masses and further our understanding of the nature of intelligence and our place in the universe. At work I do electronics design work on a scientific data collection platform. I use my skills and money from tech companies to support my friends and loved ones who pursue their own ways of making the world a better place. One of my partners is an ecologist out in the field helping to preserve critically endangered species. I support her journey. Our other partners are up to similarly important work.
Voting helps, I suppose. Admittedly, I don't think politicians or laws do much for us. I firmly believe it's up to us to make the world better. There is no system of laws that will make a decent society out of a group of people who hate each other and only want to destroy things. I think people increasingly sit at home doomscrolling news and becoming afraid of their neighbors. I try to work toward whatever the opposite of that is.
Of course, I think activism has a place. I just think a lot of the problems I see (I'm in the US) are not going to be solved by activism. No one is going to accept trans people or stop buying disposable plastic water bottles because they saw a sign. They're going to consider changing when their friend has a talk with them about it. It's a conversation. People need to talk to each other. I think once we have that figured out, then protest can be used to get politicians to fall in line with the will of the people. The issue I see is just bigger than politicians being jerks. We don't have a deep enough understanding of our fellow humans to bring forward our collective vision. Activism can be a part of that process of gaining understanding, but as a thing in itself, I think activism is limited.
You may also consider all positive work activism. Protest being a specific kind. There are many ways to cause change.
That sounds wild, and also I expect there a lot of fundamental research challenges. Making any progress?
Lots of progress! I invented and fabricated some of the first memristors in the world about 17 years ago. These were monolithic solid state devices at around 200um. I brought these into a university lab and got about $3M in grants using these to create sound localization neural circuits. I also had some pretty basic pattern recognition results.
I developed a self-assembling chemistry a few years later and this produces devices around 5nm. I've done some work integrating these into artificial cell membranes to reduce leakage currents (these devices live in a solvent) and developing devices that perform threshold switching, integrate and fire, and more complex behaviors like chaotic firing--closer to something you might call an "artificial neuron." I've built some complex architectures with this and external analog circuitry, but mostly I've focused on the hardware side rather than computational results.
These days, I'm working on integrating living organisms to manage the cell wall upkeep and also power distribution. I want to scale this to obscene levels. I see no reason I can't achieve human brain scale in this kind of network (which is of course totally different than reaching brain performance). I'm just starting my lab up after a year of life getting in the way, so we'll see!
One of the most beautiful results so far has been the emergence of self-regulating pulsating structures that pump raw materials through the dish and enhance the growth of the neurons nearby.
Where do you work on this stuff? Do you work in a university lab or something?
Your post reminds me of an earlier point in my life. Not about activism though, but about the notion that you realized you were misguided but felt you'd wasted your time. I had a similar realization and changed course. It wasn't easy, fighting the inertia of my choices and foregoing the path I had set. I didn't really realize it until someone told me, but it was courageous.
Your experience has led you to take a more nuanced position, experience you lacked as a youth and couldn't have known for yourself yet. You can't fault that experience as a waste. That path led you here. You're courageous to look at your past and say what you're telling us now -- doubly so to actually tell us and open a dialogue. The only waste would be deciding not to change course towards a happier and more fulfilling life after coming to your realization.
Sorry if I've missed the mark and not engaging so much with the activism aspect. These are words I would've liked to have heard when I was at the place your post reminded me of is all. I'm glad you've already found the joy and liberty of the quiet destruction preceding change, that's a lovely way to put it.
I used to be very politically engaged (at least to the degree I might read 2-3 versions of the same event and my top hobby was reading news). It dwindled between a busy life, modern yellow journalism, decreased faith in modern news / increased awareness of "the establishment" and how I felt about it, and jadedness that my generation wasn't really going to create the positive, meaningful change everyone had imagined within 5 years. (Jury is still out, of course.)
I tend to think that if I want to make good change, I can focus on the people around me. But I also think that I can write software / do things in the private industry that fundamentally changes how we approach things in larger society. That used to bother me; I believe that the government should offer more guarantees for people. But I think it is empowering too, to change the rules of the game.
Ironically, activism may be most meaningful in your country versus the US, Europe, etc.
But I do understand your POV. A lot of modern activism can be performative and ineffectual. Activism can work, but it requires a focus and specific goals that aren’t always there. The decentralization of it can make things less useful (controversial Q: have decentralized movements actually resulted in effective change?) Worse case scenario, it’s done for social credibility rather than achieving political change.
There’s a theory floating around (mostly on Reddit, forums, and other internet spaces; I don’t know if formal studies have been done) that the relative lack of political and economic power of millennials/zoomers, combined with higher rates of tertiary education and the rise of social media, led to a significant increase in activism that is ineffective, and/or that is an expression of power (for its own sake), rather than as a goal-oriented strategy. Additionally, less of these folks worked in formal political settings to learn tactics, instead learning them through universities. While old-school political activism has its downsides, it can be an incredibly effective tool for mobilizing social change.
This is a major problem in general. Be it well meaning activities that are just ineffective, or outright hateful activities that only make things worse, understanding what actually will bring about change (and the compromise that's inherent to that) is critical to getting any real progress.
I think some of this comes from government, by wise design, not being extremely mutable, despite society around us now changing at a much faster pace. People have always wanted things to be different tomorrow, but the most effective have understood that it won't be, likely not even in their lifetime, but that if they work hard they can make it better for future generations.
That hasn't really changed. I've always felt people would benefit from being in the political process in some way that ISN'T an election campaign (not that those aren't their own learning experience). There's a lot to be learned in seeing how things are actually done and what people are really like.
I hear you. I've read all the comments in the thread so far and I have little else to add other than to mention how little faith I have that protesting works. In my opinion, 99.9% of the time, all it does is to make the participants feel good about themselves. I have not been to more than a couple of demonstrations, mind you, so I'm not particularly experienced in the matter. But I read a comment on my country's subreddit about someone who had arranged+participated in hundreds of protests about all sorts of things - and this person was completely done with it because they started realizing that not a single one of the protests they had been part of had had any effect on anything at all.
I can only think the same thing when I see the weekly Palestine demonstrations in my city (not to start a talk about that particular situation). They often walk by my building and it's just.. every time, I think "well good for you", but what exactly are they accomplishing? Similarly with Ukraine. These wars have been going years and months respectively - like, Putin/Netanyahu aren't going to change their minds over some protesting idiots in small towns in western Europe. These protests 1000 kilometers away are futile.
On the other hand, the farmer's protests that have been going on in Brussels and many other places in the EU? Those actually did have an effect, but I refuse to believe it's because they sprayed manure on the police or anything like that at all. Yes, they made themselves visible and drew attention to themselves, but is that really what got the EP to change its mind about climate laws? No. The farmers have leverage - that's all it is.
Climate protestors use the same techniques as the farmers. They block the streets all the same, just they sit on sidewalks in intersections and by highways instead of blocking inner cities with their tractors. They have zero leverage though, and also people get a little bit mad at them. I will cheer them on because it absolutely is idiotic to build more highways in this day and age. But I have no illusions about their activism being at best pointless.
Another example is that protestors have been interrupting events where the PM and other ministers have been present here in Denmark. At the first one, a feminist thing, the government representatives just walked out and refused to partake any further because according to them, people yelling from the crowd isn't democracy. So I guess democracy is giving the politician a microphone and not challenging them on anything? At the other event, they simply stood on the stage and stared at the protestors, one of the ministers even laughed at them a little bit, and waited for security to take them away. What the government said by this is that they don't need to care about them and they have no power. And it's true - they don't.
Peaceful protests are a waste of time 99.9% of the time.
I found the massively different reactions in the people around me to climate people blocking roads versus farmers blocking roads to be quite depressing. The very same people who froth at the mouth saying "Just run them over!" will pivot seamlessly into defending the farmers' tactics. I'm not complaining about agreeing/disagreeing with the actual causes, but the double standard on how two groups were "allowed" to express their discontent was shocking. It really highlighted how the media coverage is so biased and frames very different narratives.
My wife and I met 30 years ago and part of the reason we fell in love was because of our activism and anger at the ways of the world. Together we have tried endless ways of joining the fight against ignorance and self interest and all the ways they manifest.
What we realized is that protests and standard forms of activism have long ago been solved by the powers that be. So we just kept doing more and more to try to reach people more deeply. She became a teacher, trying to reach younger and younger kids, knowing that the earlier she could communicate certain values to them, the more strongly they would hold them. I’m a writer. I try to show people new ways of looking at things and get them excited about aspects of a better world, while warning them about the dangers and pitfalls of the one we live in.
Then this global information war happened and now we find ourselves again on this kind of abstract nebulous front line, fighting against the demons of social media and the forces trying to destroy the institution of education.
I don’t like fighting and confrontation but just trying to live a decent life somehow gets me in trouble again and again.
I'll add my perspective since I'm not an activist and never have been. I'm not ashamed to say that I live a largely selfish life. My parents worked really hard most of their lives. They really just wanted a better life for me and I got that. I vote in all elections and believe that local politics are most important since that is what effects your life and your vote makes more of a difference. I like to do some chartible things here or there. Helping people is always nice. I genuinely enjoy when I manage to give a good gift to someone.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that what matters is how you effect the people around you. It's not a big change, but it's real. I think the big political changes take a lot of people, a lot of time. But you can help people around you now. Charity may be a bandaid, but people's lives will be a little better. Not that you should stop being an activist, but helping people now is just as important as protecting the future
I used to have this sticker on my bus:
Inner peace, world peace, with a silhouette of a meditator in zazen.