I've had a strange experience recently in that I got a very cute haircut and suddenly I am the belle of the ball wherever I go. One major downside is that it is exhausting. People treat me like I'm a fairy, which I use to dole out generous compliments. But mostly people just notice me, a lot, and it's weird to feel so many eyes watching my every movement.

It reminds me a bit of living in Shanghai. I was practically a celebrity, people would ask for selfies with me to show their friends they met a blonde white guy.

Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed pretty privilege most of my adult life, but embracing my femininity in it's fullness has really amplifier things.

For example, I went to a dance performance tonight and ended up basically on a date with a girl, which was lovely but also what? I walked away to give her an out and she followed me.

At work it can be a problem as well. I have some coworkers that get really giggly when they're with me. Luckily, once it steers to work talk they're a whilsmart professional I'm Uber glad to work with.

Anyways, just had to vomit this curious anyone thoughts

For folks unaware, the identified shooter in today's Minneapolis Catholic school shooting appears to have been a trans woman. There are a lot of uncertainties at this time and this isn't the thread to discuss the shooting*, but regardless it seems clear that trans people, perhaps particularly trans adults this time (and unfortunately my trans sisters always) will be the target of increased bigoted and violent rhetoric. Even if you're not in the US the words being spoken already have an impact on people worldwide.

Be safe, take care of yourselves and each other and find ways to get involved and speak out when and where you can. And look out for the trans kids too.

💜🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

*Please don't make this thread that, nor tag it as such. It's purely a support thread with context. Ty

Refresher about me and my work: I work in higher ed as essentially a social worker for our on-campus students. Many of the students I support are trans, non-binary, and queer. They often come to me or are directed to me because I'm visibly queer, and use she/they pronouns. A recent survey* listed about 30% of our campus populations as queer (ace-inclusive, not mentioning gender identity), the same survey demonstrated nearly double the risk of suicide, mental health crisis, etc among our trans and gender non-conforming students. This survey was from before the 2024 election.

My point with this post is asking y'all for any suggestions in supporting my trans youth in particular and queer youth in general during this time of increasing demonization and as the feds have started to pressure schools to remove protections for trans women specifically.**

What things would you have wanted to hear from adults around you? What things helped you continue to feel safe with trusted adults? When the conversations keep getting tougher - talking about staying in or returning to the closet for safety or surviving that necessity when at home, or whatever fresh political hell hits next? When your roommate's mom compares her daughter living with you to sexual violence?

I have a lot of experience with tough questions, and dealt some of these. I've talked about how you have to take care of yourself and water your plants or you have dead plants and fascism. But my experiences coming out in grad school and figuring out my demi-gender-ness much later aren't the same as these kids' life experiences. And I always want to make sure I'm doing better. What helped you? What would you have wanted to hear? What message would you want to pass to them?

Feel free to DM if preferred for safety or privacy

*I can't say how representative this was but between 4 and 5 percent of the population took the survey so unless that was particularly skewed in some way that should be a decent sample.
** There's a chance my speech will be restricted as an employee, we'll see, but that's an area I can fight more effectively.

Happened in Denmark, so article is in Danish. Put it into DeepL to translate important bits:

Four siblings, a brother and three sisters, were sentenced to prison by the Court in Glostrup on Friday for imprisoning their 26-year-old brother in September 2023.

The case began in the fall of 2023 when police broke into the family's apartment in Brøndby and found a 26-year-old man in a small broom cupboard.

In addition to imprisonment, all four will also be expelled from Denmark. The two oldest sisters will be banned from entering Denmark permanently, while the youngest sister and brother will be banned for a number of years. All four convicted siblings are Italian citizens and will therefore be deported to Italy. The siblings grew up in Sicily and have roots in Tunisia. They are Muslim, and according to the prosecution, their actions stem from that cultural background.

Specifically what happened to him can be read in this article. Translation collapsed because of gruesomeness:

If anyone thinks this is too much to share then please let me know - I will delete the thread if it is. I did put the homophobia and downer tags though so hopefully everyone who do not wish to see this stuff have already filtered that. Just sharing because I'm shocked this can happen in Denmark.

I recently watched Rūrangi (2020) and appreciated it¹ for having a story centered on a trans man and his experiences.

I’m interested in recommendations of other media featuring trans men/masc individuals. I want to cast a broad net, especially if there are other people who might find this useful, so:

• Any type of media is fine (books, memoirs, movies, shows, webcomics, anime, manga, games, etc.)
• Trans men and/or trans masc people should feature, but they don’t have to be the main focus
• The media can be specifically about the individual(s) trans identity or journey, but it can also simply feature the character(s) without delving into those aspects

Now, I’ll also add some more parameters for what I’m looking for specifically if you’re looking to recommend to me personally rather than in general. Don’t limit your recommendations to just these, though. I’m ultimately open to anything and want this topic to be valuable to others with different tastes/preferences as well:

• I’d love for the trans man to be older, since a lot of the trans representation I do already see tends towards depicting younger individuals (nothing wrong with that, of course, and I definitely understand why that is, but as a middle-aged guy myself I’m more drawn towards stories about people my age/older)
• I am interested in stories that are specifically focused on trans identity and journey
• As a gay guy, I’d love to read about my gay trans brethren
• Like Chappell Roan, I want nonfiction (but fiction is cool too)

1. While I did enjoy it, I thought the pacing of the movie was really odd. It wasn’t until after I watched it that I learned it was originally broadcast as a series and was later cut into a single film (which explains the pacing issues). For anyone interested in watching it, I assume the series version does a better job with pacing than the film version.

Donation Total: $2,325 one time + $25 recurring

Lambda Legal is an American non-profit organization focused on legal action in support of LGBTQ individuals.

They have already committed to challenge Trump’s anti-queer executive orders in court.

I am encouraging people here to donate to Lambda Legal if you are able to.

Incentive: The following people have committed to match donations:

• u/kfwyre - up to $250 (met!)
• u/smores - up to $1000 (met!)

If anyone else is willing to match donations as well, please let me know and I will edit this post to include you.

Also, check to see if your employer will match donations.

If you donate, simply comment here or PM me. You do NOT have to provide proof that you donated — just share your amount.

If you would rather donate to a different organization instead, please do so. Also please share it here in case others would like to join you.

To our trans users here, especially those in the US: please remember that there are still SO many people out there who love and support you and want you to be able to live your lives with the dignity that you deserve.

Hey all, given everything going on, please keep checking on your communities. There was a recent death by suicide in Syracuse of a VA patient who had wrapped themselves in the trans flag prior to their death.

We're in this together, and I know it's going to get worse, and the only way we get through is with the support of each other. So, just, please check-in.

During the darkest days of the AIDS crisis, we buried our friends in the morning, we protested in the afternoon, and we danced all night.
The dance kept us in the fight because it was the dance we were fighting for. It didn't look like we were going to win then and we did. It doesn't feel like we're going to win now but we could. Keep fighting, keep dancing. -Dan Savage