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    1. I wrote a poem - Coming Out 2.0

      I'm working on this for a poetry class I'm taking, any criticism is welcome. Edit: Italicized some text I forgot when I copied it out of Word. Edit 2: Fixed some phrasing. Coming Out 2.0 When I...

      I'm working on this for a poetry class I'm taking, any criticism is welcome.

      Edit: Italicized some text I forgot when I copied it out of Word.
      Edit 2: Fixed some phrasing.

      Coming Out 2.0

      When I first came out
      I thought it was over.
      Done.
      I know myself now,
      My life can finally be
      worthwhile and fun.

      But there was always a mess I dared
      not touch. Who do I like? What gaze
      makes me blush? I suspected the feminine
      but held out hope – only taking up one letter
      made it easier to cope.

      And some people do change after starting
      HRT, so patiently I hoped men would appeal
      to me. I had some feelings before, it seemed reasonable
      they would grow. But as time went on I realized I had
      nothing to show. My feelings for men were entirely gone,
      but still hopeful for a straight-passing future, I pressed on.

      I had definite feelings for women before,
      But at times the attraction seemed a bit more –
      Did I want to be them or did I want to be with them?
      The former I assumed, as it helped to distract,
      focus on my work, brush my desires under the mat.

      I’d think “She looks cute”, but “in that outfit”, “with that hairdo” and other qualifiers
      I began to append, convincing myself what I felt was normal and, like a
      Chicagoland road, no bend. When I began to notice some feelings bubbling up I said
      “Female friendships are close, it’s nothing, the end.” But try as I might, they flowered
      and bloomed, and soon I could not help but be all-consumed. Maybe I’m bi, I thought,
      That isn’t so bad. More options for dating, how can I be mad? I told my friend my feelings, and as
      expected, for me she had none. She’s still one of my best friends, so I’d neither lost nor won.

      I dealt with the rejection and moved on. I could still be bi, better not
      jump the gun. You can’t take back coming out, you’ve got one shot – nail it
      and be done. I thought everything would be the same, but the floodgates were open,
      my restraints had been broken. I could finally be honest about my feelings
      for women (endless, confusing and interwoven) and for men, which were at most
      an appreciative token.

      A week after confessing to my crush, it was obvious
      who won. The Sapphic feelings and desires made
      their presence known, their intent to stay,
      and more difficult than coming out
      as trans was admitting
      to being gay.

      15 votes
    2. "We Didn't Start The Fire" parody - Sherry Vine

      I just saw this parody of "We Didn't Start The Fire" on Reddit. It might be a parody song, but it's also a potted history of LGBT activism in the USA for the past 60 years. We Didn't Start The...

      I just saw this parody of "We Didn't Start The Fire" on Reddit. It might be a parody song, but it's also a potted history of LGBT activism in the USA for the past 60 years.

      We Didn't Start The Fire parody - Sherry Vine

      6 votes
    3. How do I combat the "women need safe spaces" argument?

      (I am trans-inclusive. I believe trans rights are human rights. I believe in self-identification. I will use whatever pronouns someone choose, and I try not to assume pronouns.) In the UK recently...

      (I am trans-inclusive. I believe trans rights are human rights. I believe in self-identification. I will use whatever pronouns someone choose, and I try not to assume pronouns.)

      In the UK recently there's been a bit of a debate between trans-phobic "gender critical" feminists who say that for sexual safety women need spaces that are women only, and that this means they need to exclude trans-people.

      I think this is bullshit. I'd like some good quality arguments to use against this.

      What are your ideas?

      14 votes
    4. Recruiting for a panel for an LGBT-focused Q&A session on Tildes

      A recent conversation resurfaced an idea I've had for a while now, and I've decided to move forward with it. The Idea: a thread along the lines of "What's something you've always wanted to know...

      A recent conversation resurfaced an idea I've had for a while now, and I've decided to move forward with it.


      The Idea: a thread along the lines of "What's something you've always wanted to know about being LGBT but were afraid to ask?" I want to encourage people to specifically ask questions that might be uncomfortable, or questions that might be seen as too forward or invasive in other contexts. Crucially, I also want to have a diverse panel of LGBT people ready and willing to answer those types of questions in the thread. I'm using LGBT here in the Tildes-preferred umbrella manner, so this is open to all who identify with a minority gender identity or sexual/romantic orientation.

      The Location: I feel like hosting it in ~talk would be best so that we are visible to people who do not subscribe to ~lgbt, who are more likely to have questions about our experiences.

      The Panel: I have thought about just putting up the thread with no preparation and letting people respond as they see fit, but I've always held back because I think it's important to be able to have lots of different voices, identities, and experiences represented. As such, I figure assembling a panel of willing respondents prior to the thread would be good, hence this planning topic! We can list the names and short bios about the panel participants in the top level of the topic, which then lets participants know who is responding to them, as well as giving them the opportunity to ask questions to specific individuals should they wish to do so.

      The Time: I am thinking next Monday, Feb. 10 would be a good time to get this up and running, but that is flexible. I expect the thread to be active for about one to three days.


      Next Steps

      If you are willing to be a part of the panel and answer questions:

      • let me know either by commenting here or sending me a PM,
      • include how you identify yourself,
      • include what your preferred pronouns are, and
      • include a short bio about yourself that will be posted in the thread.

      An example of what panelists' introductions will look like in the Q&A thread:

      Name Identity Preferred Pronouns Bio
      kfwyre gay cis male he/him/they/them Teacher. Happily married. Living in the US, and grew up in a very conservative Christian area. Came out in my 20s and dealt with severe depression and fallout with family.

      The bio can include anything you think might be relevant for context, or that you think people might want to ask about.

      Signing on to participate in the panel does NOT mean you must answer every question asked. Panel participants can choose which questions they answer, as well as how much they choose to share. Signing on simply means you're agreeing to participate in the topic to the best of your ability and comfort level.

      Finally, if you have any feedback or ideas for how this should run, let me know!

      23 votes