How to find a new calling in life?
I've been having a bit of a midlife crisis (well, I'm 31 so technically not there yet but...) and was hoping maybe some kind folks on Tildes could give me some perspective. Apologies in advance for the long-winded post.
I currently work my "dream" job. I put that in quotes because I'm a freelance translator which, as you might expect, has not been the best place to be at for the last couple of years. Nonetheless, it was the job I wanted to do when I got into university 7 years ago so it's what I'd say is the only "calling" I've had.
Because I've only ever done this, I feel like I missed out on opportunities and soft skills that a person might typically develop early in their career at more typical jobs. I was fortunate to have an accommodating family who really let me try as hard as I could in the translation field until I could succeed, which unfortunately I haven't as much as I wanted to.
Because of all this, I've now been looking for non-specialized jobs anyone can do in order to at least have a more stable income. But I feel like just working at say a McDonald's or other less skilled jobs won't get me very far in life. Yes I can do translation on the side as a supplement and maybe one day I'll get lucky enough to score a well-paying client (I know it's possible but just haven't had the chance yet), but that's a lot of ifs for comfort. At the moment I can't even focus on paying my bills, let alone try to have a life outside my job or a partner or basically anything, and that's what also sorta torpedo'd the intense anxiety I've been having.
So I've been pondering seriously going back to university to get another degree, as some of my friends and acquaintances have done. The problem is I just don't know how to even go about finding something that can give me a better professional life and that I connect with in some capacity. I've been so sheltered and non-diversified for 7 years that now I have very little to connect with.
I thankfully live in a country where university is not a big financial investment, so that's not an issue. But as I've been warned by others (and agree myself), jumping into a degree when I only have nebulous ideas about my future in it is a good way to ensure I burn myself out and waste my time. I can't just pick a degree because "it'll pay well." It has to be something I can actually concentrate on and feel the drive to work toward. Otherwise I'll probably be back on this road again, just in a different way (low end skilled work is as poorly paid as unskilled work where I live).
I've been eyeing typical big engineering degrees like computer science and mechanical engineering. Looking at jobs they can provide makes them sound somewhat interesting (robots are cool, right?), but it still all feels very nebulous, like nothing fully clicks. It's like I can't find something that's more guaranteed to pay well and where I also feel "this is where I want to be."
I'm also constantly worried about "what if I choose wrong" and wondering if I won't be good enough or stand out and just set myself up for another bad career. The choice paralysis is very real. And reading testimonials online, no matter for what field, just makes things feel more bleak (I should probably stop that), though there is occasionally some positivity.
The way I describe my mental state right now is "I want a job that will let me not have to worry about surviving 24/7, but I don't know what that might look like." It could be working at McDonald's or some menial office job and then doing translation on the side (AKA the only "calling" I've ever fully clicked with), it could be becoming an engineer, or maybe it's something else entirely I haven't found yet. I don't know.
I also know that sometimes all it takes is to try something out to see if you like it, so I'm not ruling the possibility that maybe I'll just click with a degree after I get into it, but until I have that opportunity I'd like ask fellow Tildeans: how would you go about finding a new calling in life in a situation like this?
I know there's no silver bullet answer and that nobody can decide my life for me, but I feel as though I'm missing the tools to make that decision for myself.
I would say that being a freelance translator has probably given you more soft skills than you think for a job in business administration or something similar. You can invoice a client, market a business, balance competing priorities in a busy environment, etc. Id suggest writing down a list of all the different tasks you did around the actual translations. Many of those are in demand, and doubly so from someone who can be sure it's done right in multiple languages.
You're not wrong. I sometimes forget that I have some soft skills that came bundled with this job. Though I will say it's really hard to express the existence and development of those in my CV because companies here are always looking at your education/experience and expecting you to specifically be from their field first and foremost.
I'll be sure to make a list, though.
I'm in the minority on this opinion so take it with a grain of salt but I feel like what makes for a good job is 80% the people, culture, and your direct boss. The other 20% is how much you like the actual work. I was in IT for awhile, a career I never really cared for but was in a job I really liked. I'm now a software engineer, a career I really love, and have worked jobs I have hated. Which is good news, it means they're are a wide array of career paths that can lead to happiness.
I can understand that doesn't really help you choose though. For that side of things I guess where I would start is, what kind of people do you tend to vibe with? The engineers? Construction workers? Corporate people? Surf instructors? The list is massive and wide but if you can find a niche of people you like to be around I think it's a great idea to see what kind of careers those people tend towards.
This is a perspective I hadn't considered much. I've been so focused on looking at what people in these areas do that I forgot to even consider the people themselves, which does indeed matter a lot to me because, if there's one thing translation taught me it's that working fully remote feels very isolating. I might not have been giving that part as much weight as I should.
I think it's time I reach out to more people outside of my immediate friends and acquaintances to get a better idea on that.
In my experience, how important the people vs. task of a job depends on the person. I’m fully on board with your perspective, where the people are far more important than the job (and it definitely applies to my life).
However, I’ve also met people that seem like could work anywhere so long as they were doing what they loved. That being said, those people usually know what they love pretty quickly.
For @Sheep,
The less you feel confident about the “what”, the more I’d advise focusing on the “who”. So I’m going to underscore that advice.
If you take that approach, the next step can really suck. You have to talk to people. There’s no world in which you find the people you click with by online research or independent study or anything else.
Every career counseling book I’ve read gets around at some point to the “informational interview” or the “conversation”. For someone with anxiety around meeting new people, it’s so hard, but I haven’t found an alternative. Go talk to software engineers or robotics engineers about their workday. You might need to reach out coldly to people on social media. Find conferences you can attend (once you are a student, they often start to be more budget-friendly). Use your existing network of people to find friends-of-friends.
You can also just go back to school to try and meet people, but (for you) the success of that approach depends strongly on whether your program caters to adult students or not. I think the intentional approach would be more fruitful.
There has been a radical shift in software engineering and computer science over the last year. By the time you graduate, it may be incredibly difficult to get a job as an entry level programmer. If you want a job that promises a pay check, don't pick something AI has a PHD in - art, languages, programming languages.
My hobbies, education, and career cover all three of those areas. I'm looking to pivot to something outside of IT, but I'm feeling marginally fucked (:
Ride the wave! - words of wisdom from 1999 :)
Yeah, AI is an aspect that has complicated everything further. I mean it ruined my field over the last years so I'm more keenly aware of it than many.
It's why I kinda put something like mechanical engineering above computer science at the moment, even if the latter usually has a higher wage ceiling. I'm so afraid AI will only get better and better and take on everything it can possibly get its fingers on, so at least picking an area with a strong component on real world elements seems like a good idea.
To quote modern philosopher Faith Hill: "The secret of life is there ain't no secret, and you don't get your money back."
Which is to say, don't over-index on the feeling that other people have it figured out, and somehow you're missing something they have. I think most people are either also floundering around or just maintaining the status quo.
If someone has a very good status quo, maintaining it is no bad thing. But when you see people doing that, it can seem like they "figured it out" when it's really just where they happened to land.
The best experiences, relationships, and jobs I've had were mostly luck -- being in the right place at the right time, choosing one class over another, happening to make a connection. And knowing how good they were is really only evident in hindsight. Going in I had no idea how things were going to turn out.
I hope this framing will help you reduce your feelings of choice paralysis, or that somehow you're supposes to know with certainty what the right choice is.
In terms of practical advice, some books I think people appreciate are Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans and What Color is your Parachute by Richard Bolles. If it's available to you, can you just enroll to take one class? Maybe even online classes. Those might let you try some things out without fully committing to a degree program. If something you try seems interesting, maybe look at the intersection between that thing and your translation skills, like translating software.
Regarding your feeling of isolation and anxiety, I would say start with small things. Go to library or a coffee shop. You don't have to interact with anybody. Just try being in places where people are interacting and soak up the vibe. If you do find a class to take, that could be a good space to meet people.
I hope you find something that resonates and that pursuing it is fulfilling! Good luck!
That does help and it lines up a bit with how I already feel. I think the anxiety I have stems not from the fact that I don't understand how people get into the jobs they have, but the fact that I landed in a job that ultimately "trapped" me in place, didn't let me meet new people (irl. I have met a lot of people online), and thus heavily reduced those "lucky" opportunities that many folks run into. Part of it was out of my control, since I had a lot of undiagnosed conditions (especially crippling ADHD) that I've only learned about and began treating this past year, but part of it was also me not investing whatever free time I had into others.
It might be possible to enroll in a few classes, I'll have to take a look. Thank you for the book recommendations.
I'd like to add to this as well. Yes there's luck and status quo but there's also micro adjustments most people are making to their lives every day to nudge their (already good?) status quo slightly better.
It might be pushing for a pay raise, adjusting your weekly routine or schedule, doing more exercise, better diet, adjusting your work environment to be better. Those kinds of things people probably don't talk about at a grand scale, but when you broad stroke it sounds like they "have it sorted".
I just randomly picked software engineering because I wasn't shit at it and honestly I don't like writing code for a living that much. But jumping job until I found a good team/office then making adjustments in that environment is the way to make it work.
Re: details
I'm sorry to hear it may be imploding. I hope you can find something new that is even better before it gets too bad.
Nothing gold can stay. It's so sad to watch though. I was employee one at startup and got to help build it from scratch. It was very rewarding to watch it grow and flourish. It was truly and amazing place. And then it started to wither until by the time I left, it was nearly unrecognizable. Now that I know the signs better, I don't think I will ever be tempted to stay so long.
I had to really struggle to let go of it because I felt do much ownership. Of was honestly more like a relationship breakup than leaving a job, and I hope I don't ever let myself get that invested in a job again.
More off topic
Thanks! I appreciate the thought.
I know exactly what you mean, it is hard to let go. You put in a lot of blood, sweat, tears... And when the culture changes the it usually is never the same.
I hope you found something you like now.
I have one last hail Mary I'm holding out for by the end of the year. If it doesn't play out in a really positive way then I think I need to start looking next year :(
You've triggered my trap card: McDonald's is not a less-skilled job; I guarantee you that if you're unaccustomed to standing for 8 hours at a stretch and not moving much from one spot, or moving all around and performing a dozen little jobs as perfectly as possible in random order while being barraged with questions by customer and other employees, it's the hardest work you'll ever put yourself through. But you might just learn those soft skills you're worried you missed out on. I've only worked counter food service a grand total of 48 hours spread out over 2 jobs and I couldn't do it again. My back and knees are too bad for that kind of work, and I'm too clumsy and uncoordinated to be safe in a kitchen around fire and frying oil and such. Instead, I got a sit-down office job and ruined my body in a different way. But I've got soft skills for days.
Also, have you considered looking into local/regional/national government work for translators? You'd be surprised how often your skills would come in handy. Not glamorous work, not usually high-paying work, but steady, usually has halfway decent benefits, and very often recession-proof. They're usually willing to train on the soft skills if you can bring the hard skill to the table.
I'm not one for talking down on service jobs, I've had a few and they can be taxing on the body and soul killing at the same time. What people mean with "low skilled" is not that you need no skill, though by gawd I've seen some displays of a lack of skill in these kinds of jobs, it's that most people can pick up and learn to work these jobs without prior experience or education. It's why they're almost universally staffed with teens and students.
Other than that, yeah I totally agree! You learn a lot of (soft) skills in these jobs. If not the customer, your possibly delinquent co-worker can teach you a lot about working with a smattering of different people while also putting you through the physical stress of doing manual labour for a shift and a half.
I’m gonna be completely honest and say that I almost never see teenagers or students at my local fast food establishments, because I’m going there during the daytime when teenagers and students are usually at school. The reason I do that is because during the daytime where the adults are working, the food is prepared, handled, and served competently and also quickly. My local McDonald’s, my local Sonic, my local Subway, my local Taco Bell all have people that I’ve seen time again over the course of years. The odd times that I’m forced to go to those outside of my normal hours, my quality of service is always extremely variable.
Yes these jobs are often the first jobs for students and teenagers, but that doesn’t mean that these jobs are best done by students and teenagers. The turnover rate for a fast food restaurant among their part-timers is incredibly high. Because it’s difficult work for not a lot of pay and there are better things that most people feel they could be doing with their time if they don’t have to be doing this.
When I was in my 20s, a friend of mine who was college-educated and unemployed decided that she would “stoop” to taking a job at the local KFC. To her credit she did last almost a full week, but she came home smelling of fried chicken every night, and cried herself to sleep more than once.
I have friends who have worked in professional independently owned (non-chain) restaurant kitchens for decades that will never take a fast food or commercial kitchen job not because it’s low-skilled work, but because it’s actually easier to work in a professional kitchen than a fast food kitchen.
Commercial restaurants and kitchens of any size and any speed of food preparation and any quality of food are inherently difficult jobs that do require skill, and no I don’t believe everybody could pick up and just do those jobs. I believe the idea that it is “low skill” work is intentionally put out there by franchise owners to keep those wages low. A job that’s easy even if low paying won’t have a lot of churn rate. Hard jobs throw off people unsuited at high rates.
Edit: a closer reading of what you said shows me that you’ve worked these jobs so you should know all of this. What I’m frustrated by is the denigrating of these jobs and a stigma attached to the work.
I feel this is more an indictment of US work culture than it is fast food restaurants. It's like supermarket cashiers not being allowed to sit. Nonsensical wage slavery for the sake of a "lean" organisation.
On the contrary, fast food restaurants here are almost universally staffed by younger people. I wouldn't say younger folks are better suited for it than someone with some resilience and experience under their belt, I agree on that.
That's not quite what I said, or rather you omitted the word "learn" which is the word that does most of the lifting. To my point of why it's called low skilled: you do not need an education or prior experience to start learning these types of service jobs.
I'll admit the words "low skilled" have some unwanted baggage. They're not intended to indicate workload but rather the barrier to entry. It could do with a revision..
As someone who's worked a few food/customer service jobs and now works a "high skill" job, those service jobs are definitely low skill. They are not low effort though. These are the kind of jobs where you can learn the majority of your responsibilities for the role within 3 months and be at least 80-90% as productive as a longtime employee within about 6 months (very rough timelines), requiring no more education than simple arithmetic. These times are actually kind of high for some of these jobs. Frankly, the majority of people are hitting that 80-90% productivity mark within 1-2 months unless they're kind of a problem, although that's pretty common in this kind of job. In the "high skill" job, most applicants have PhDs and are still not fully trained after a year.
No arguments on the idea that these jobs need to be staffed by adults though. How else am I going to get a burger for lunch when school is in session?
My boomer opinion is that everyone should work one of these jobs for at least 6 months to help with empathy and toughness. That's not to say that you can't have empathy or toughness otherwise, but I mean this is just reality for a large portion of the populace. The idea that you can just quit and do something easier or more suited to your preferences is a luxury that a lot of people don't have.
I still think the term "low-skilled" is prescriptive rather than descriptive, and that it assigns a value to the labor and the laborer, and inherently sets up a "respectability" hierarchy I just can't get behind. But that's a conversation for another time.
I'm honestly not sure that making people work these jobs is the answer, simply because there's also a pervasive attitude of hazing culture, where someone survived something shitty and awful and then turns around and does that shitty awful thing to someone else because "I went through it, too, it's my turn to dish it out." This is an especially pervasive attitude in America, where people actively vote to make life harder for the younger generations because, and I'll quote, "I didn't get any help, why should they?" People who genuinely believe their children's lives should be as difficult as theirs were, or more so, to build "character" (a term which I point out is charmingly used to described something damaged but functional.)
The only thing I can think to do is continue to advocate (however messily) for mutual compassion and respect.
To respond to your edit: that is how I understood you from the get, which is why I sought to engage you on the topic. Service workers are constantly berated and stripped of the dignity to stand up for themselves, I've seen it happen myself where cashiers or high schoolers were demeaned and talked down to by adults that really should know better. And this was in the Netherlands where I could talk back to customers without the fear of losing my job looming overhead like the sword of Damocles.
People can right quick show their ugly side when they feel they're above someone.
Your compassion is why I wanted to take the sting out of the term "low skill" and talk about how it's used here. @cdb said it very succinctly: Low skill is not the same as low effort.
I would never call an honest service worker's job easy or low effort.
I get it, I’m used to dealing with my fellow Americans who very much have a tendency to be massive shit heads towards “low-skilled” workers (I still think the term is poor and prescriptive rather than descriptive, but that’s for another time) and opinions that tend to be especially corrosive are some of the more educated folks who were raised to believe that burger-flipping is somehow a humiliation and that people doing it are either contemptible or, worse, pitiable. I truly believe that if nobody thought poorly of this work, we’d have far more people who were good at it working the jobs and raising the overall threshold of value for the service.
This comes from a life spent growing up around the restaurant industry, and still having many friends who are in service jobs, as well as being in a customer facing role myself (though mine is a technical support role, so I receive far less flak than my fellows in other roles.)
I let my usual calculation of “odds I’ll have to fight a dismissive prick” outweigh the “odds I’ll encounter thoughtful people on tildes” calculation. I’m just so very accustomed to fighting to convince people to discard hierarchies of labor value and just respect that all work is work, so my expectation is a fight every time I advocate for respect for my class.
My apologies, you assuredly caught strays and I appreciate you taking the time to engage me earnestly.
Sorry if I made it seem like McDonald's was an easy job. I'm aware it's not. I just meant that it's easy to start for most people and, crucially, usually doesn't give you a lot of leverage as far career progression goes. It's ungrateful work that should be paid a lot better.
I actually had an interview there yesterday and I'm keenly aware that there's a higher chance of me not liking the job than not, and I probably won't last, but when times are tough you do what you have to do.
I have tried looking into government jobs but it's difficult to get into anything and as far as I've seen there's nothing for translation specifically, just a lot of administrative work. The most difficult part being that those jobs always require experience or a certificate in something, and all the results are public so they can't just give you the job without a valid reason.
One thing being a translator taught me is that nobody is ever looking for translators, you have to desperately beg everyone for a job. And that's getting more true in the age of AI.
As far as McDonald's goes, it's certainly got a lower skill barrier for basic qualification that's indisputable, but it requires a certain quality of personality to not just survive but thrive in that job; i.e., it's a job that requires very high soft skills. Most don't have that, and it's why people burn out in customer service jobs of all stripes.
A big part of the difficulty of that job is how widely disrespected it is among the population at large, and how humiliated many folks feel working the job. Nobody wants to feel humiliated, and many people are willing to actively harm themselves rather than work what they consider a demeaning job. I know I was certainly that way in my 20's, and golly did I hurt myself a lot.
As far as translator jobs, I guess my other question would be have you considered getting a teaching certificate to teach abroad? Is there a target language/country you'd be interested in traveling to and living in for awhile to teach English there?
This is something I've thought about and you're right that ultimately it matters a lot more that you can just do something to safely have a roof over your head.
Though I want to stress that, where I live, without a university degree or something equivalent you basically can't do any decent paying jobs and are essentially guaranteed to live with or near minimum wage forever (not enough to afford rent in most places). It's absolutely ridiculous but it's the reality I live in. So that's what's driving me to want to go back to uni as well, not necessarily just "finding a new calling."
I do really appreciate the perspective though. You're not the only one who commented here with something like that and I think I do need to shift gears a bit to "what matters more is to just do something I can maintain without going nuts" rather than focus so much on passion.
I think you have several different questions that are hiding behind what you think of as 1.
I would flip the whole thing and really question why you think a calling has anything to do with a career, and if living for a calling is more important than mental health and survival.
Frankly I think we were lied to as kids. "Find a job you love and you don't ever work a day in your life" is a lie. The calling that many of us want to do don't pay anything: caring for a child; seeing a loved one past old age; touch grass and garden and tend a tiny flock; visit our neighbours when they're aged and lonely; mentor younger people who are lost and scared .... So much of life that is wonderful has absolutely nothing to do with paying the bills.
I think you should aim to survive, and then once you're not under water, when you're merely treading water, try to experiment with what you enjoy from life. Do a bunch of different things that wont jeopardize your survival (eg, put you under water). You might land on a few, including translation, which I consider a noble human endeavour. A lucky few might even be able to have their calling pay anything at all, and some among those make enough to pull them out of the water.
Eg, nearly all musicians and painters don't do it full time.
Eg, my local church has two priests, neither of which are priests full time. One works in the govt, and the other teaches theology. Their calling is priesthood, their vocation is part-time priest, their jobs are secular desk jobs that pay enough for their families to support their calling.
In short: a calling is not a vocation is not a living wage paying job.
I'm going to suggest a slightly different tack: my career has been rather meandering and unconventional, and recently I needed to make a major switch because of funding issues and loss of public support for my field. I have had to balance the desire to do something I am trained to do and love vs. some random local job that is available so that I can pay the bills, and it's really given me new perspective.
I would generally advise against getting a degree "blindly", i.e. with no experience of what work in that sector feels like or knowing what the job market and prospects look like now or in a couple of years. Learning is often quite different to the reality of employment, and I would recommend some kind of volunteer/shadow/internship experience if you can swing it, just to see what it's like, what you do each day, and the expectations at work. Simple things like whether you take lunch breaks and how much overtime you work and what the dress code is can be really grating if you're not used to them, especially if you've been freelancing and remote.
I have found too that despite applying for things in my field for the last couple of years, there just isn't anything available, or nothing that is interesting to me. Sometimes the positions are temporary, or the pay sucks, or it would require a remote living location that just isn't feasible right now. Having a sense of what the job landscape looks right now is a good idea - are you willing to move? Commute? If so, how far? If you've been doing remote work for a long time, the reality of a local in-person job that requires you to be out with everyone else may also be jarring.
I ended up looking at local opportunities and was surprised by my options. There were a few things in local government related to emergency services and data management, postal workers, various kinds of office staff, veterinary staff, custodial jobs with decent pay and flexible hours, a variety of service jobs...I wasn't even fully aware of where there were job needs until I went looking close to home. You don't necessarily need to go back to school right away, and perhaps finding a local place with a good vibe can help steer you toward a viable option close to home. Sometimes your employer may pay for additional schooling or training, and seeing this up close can help you figure out what you might want to do. It's very hard to look from the outside and guess effectively at what might work for you, especially with things being in such flux, between changes in computing and stressors in the economy.
This is hard advice, but as much as you can, try not to worry about it. I was terrified of losing my funding and being unable to support my spouse, and I felt sick and kind of unhinged for months. I found a couple of viable employment options, I still dabble in my main field, and my new coworkers are in many ways a massive improvement over the last couple places I worked. I didn't even know that my current position existed until I found a job description, and now I know it's a field I could pursue in Canada as well if I stick with it for a couple more years. You really don't know what's out there until you look, and you don't necessarily know what other people are looking for until you put yourself out there. I ended up having a (totally unrelated) set of skills that made me fit very well for my current job, but the reason why my boss gave me a chance is that 1) we came to the field from a similar background and 2) I was local and 3) she's just cool like that. I'm certain if I applied to a place more distant they would have thrown me in the reject pile. I got rejected many times (I kept track - something like 63 rejections last year alone), and I think there is a genuine problem of too many applicants and too many tools to throw out as many resumes as possible before ever reading them. Being able to chat and have a real conversation may help, but part of it, in my experience, is just genuinely the quantity of applications made.
It's hard out there. You're still very young, and you have a long time to pursue many potential career options! See what's available to you and what's sounds interesting, and just try it out. McDonalds may end up being a major career stepping stone, who knows? Being brave, trying things, and keeping an open mind I think will serve you well.
I'm reaching a point where I'm realizing that I've perhaps spent too much time on autopilot and need to take more control of my career. That might be doing something different at my current job or looking externally for other paths. What I notice from people who I think are successful is that they're not afraid to make changes. All the career development events with senior leadership seem to have a common thread, which is that most of the higher-ups moved around and learned diverse things during their career. I think the idea that one should frequently test their limits by doing something new is actually a good mindset here, as long as you are responsible with your finances. It's similar to the paralysis I felt when selecting my undergrad major in the first place. How could I know what I liked unless I tried a bunch of things? So, I ended up taking a bunch of courses in different fields, then changed my major to fit my preferences.
So, basically, start trying things and see how they work out.
I'm firmly in that mid-life crisis zone and am navigating a switch away from software engineering, because the field broadly seems to be torpedoing itself, and riding that sinking ship directly into the Mariana trench for the next decade seems unwise.
IMO, if I were heading into university right now, my criteria for careers would be (in order):
Overall things're kinda bleak in the western sphere atm, but hopefully they're better where you are.
(edit) Ah, forgot to mention. Typically people learn to hate their line of work anyways, so aiming for something you're passionate for can backfire (see monetizing your hobby being a surefire way to destroy it). IMO it's best to choose something that you can see yourself doing, day after day, for a few decades and not something where you expect to be smiling the whole time. Employers tend to compensate people better for performing undesirable tasks, so anything that pays well enough to live off of will probably suck. Unless you're particularly unusual in some way and can tolerate a job others hate (e.g. you're anosmic and get into septic system maintenance).
It’s a tough one. In truth, nobody can figure this out for you, and you can hardly do it for yourself either. Because there is a lot of luck and circumstances involved. Even though I have to remind myself of it constantly, the vast vast majority of people are just trying to not fuck up and make it up as they go along. No matter how successful or composed they look like, it’s just all improvisation and randomness.
That being said, you have some control over it. I suggest working backwards. Don’t pick a passion, pick something that you can tolerate and that will allow you to build whatever life you want outside of it. Picking something you’re passionate about doesn’t make for a good job in my opinion for two reasons: doing it as a profession will suck the fun and enjoyment out of it, ruining it for you; second reason is that passion jobs get you exploited. See the movie industry, the food industry, art… employers know people do it out of passion and so will tolerate terrible working conditions in exchange for living their passion. It’s a trap. Keep your passion as a hobby.
I would approach this in a pragmatic way: go look at labour market statistics and facts. Which jobs are highly in demand, which are projected to have growing shortages of workers while being something you’d tolerate and can study for in a reasonable amount of time and effort (whatever that means for you). Then go find professionals in these jobs (LinkedIn is amazing for that) and get informational interviews with them IRL over a coffee if they’re local or on video if they aren’t. You’d be surprised at the amount of people who want to help you, and how much they want to help you. The goal here is to find reasons why $job wouldn’t work for you so go for ”hard” questions that would make you not consider this particular path if the answer wasn’t what you expected.
Of course there is a limit to how pragmatic you have to be: if you’re vegan and being a slaughterhouse worker is a job with incredible perspectives, it still wouldn’t be a good match. But don’t pick out of a passions perspective first and foremost. It’s much better to be in a profession you’re competent at and can tolerate that has a shortage because you can make a good living: getting paid a lot means you could spend much less time working to earn as much, and use the extra time + money to do the other things your really want.
Have you tried one of those questionnaires for career guidance? They won't reveal any shocking insights or choose a job for you, but they can be very useful for clearly understanding what type of jobs you're interested in.
No but I took a few of the ones you linked and they helped a bit to quantify what I more or less figured I already felt, so thank you.
I was in a similar position in my late 20s. I'd achieved my degree in physics and I had a job in the industry, but I wasn't enjoying the work and I knew I'd never afford a house doing that job. Here's what I did and maybe the experience I had will help in some way, and I'm happy to answer questions.
I was in a very fortunate position where I was living with parents and I could spend a year or so just trying new jobs and figuring out what I wanted to do. I didn't find it immediately, but I learned what values I wanted my job to have.
First, I wanted to do something that would help people. I have healthcare professionals and teachers in my family and I liked seeing the satisfaction they got even if it didn't always translate to their salary. But I knew I'm not enough of a people-person to do that kind of job.
Second, I wanted to do something technical. As you can guess from my education, I like knowing how things work and solving problems.
So now I've get two things I want my job to have, long-term satisfaction and day-to-day interest. Well-paid helps too, but I didn't want to sacrifice my other values for that (no working with military companies, for example).
When I found cybersecurity, I found a free online course to try out first, then when I liked it, I looked up what it took to get into that industry and worked backwards from there. It covers all of the requirements I had, protecting people, being technical, and well-paid, and I can't imagine doing any other job right now.
I don't know what the pay is like, but have you considered teaching English to speakers of the language(s) that you know? Possibly even in another country.
What kinds of activities do you find you're naturally good at and/or enjoy? That could be things like specific subjects in school, particular ways of working/living that suit you, or anything else you can think of.
Briefly, try to list the reasons why you love what you love, then go search for work that matches those.
If you choose engineering, and you have soft skills that could be extremely valuable. Having the knowledge set to be able to understand difficult concepts and the skills to communicate those is what firms look for.
I’m biased, but teaching is a great gig. You could teach language. I have someone who is a former engineer they teaches language now. You could try a teaching for a year program. See if you like it, then make a decision.
You can do it!