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  • Showing only topics in ~life with the tag "self post". Back to normal view / Search all groups
    1. I'm buying my first ever new car tomorrow

      EDIT: See final update here ...and I'm a little worried the dealership might try to screw me over. Some backstory: In 2021, Chevrolet announced the Bolt EUV -- a slightly larger version of their...

      EDIT: See final update here



      ...and I'm a little worried the dealership might try to screw me over.


      Some backstory:

      In 2021, Chevrolet announced the Bolt EUV -- a slightly larger version of their Bolt EV.

      Right after it got introduced, all Bolt EVs and EUVs underwent a battery recall. Dealers were unable to sell these until their batteries were replaced, despite the high demand for the vehicle.

      In June 2022, Chevrolet announced a $6,300 price drop for the EV/EUV.

      My current car was due for replacement (it's a 2003, lol); I wanted my next car to be an EV; the price drop made this something I could really afford; and it turns out that the EUV is literally the only electric vehicle at that price point that I can actually fit in (my head hits the ceiling in a Kona, for example).

      In June 2022, I attempted to buy an EUV, only to find out that there were waitlists everywhere because the price drop increased demand, while the recall decreased supply. As such, I put in an order for a 2023 EUV with a deposit.

      2023s went into production in July, but it turns out they're not made in order (which makes sense: the factory makes batches of similar types) and it also turns out that different dealerships have different "allocations" which means that they only get so many of a certain type of car -- even if it's been directly ordered by a customer.

      I didn't know this at the time of ordering, but, the dealership I went with had a very low allocation for EUVs.

      I have waited this entire time (which is not uncommon), and my car has finally arrived at the dealership. I'm slated to pick it up tomorrow and finish the purchase.


      My concerns:

      The dealership knows right now that they have me over a barrel. I've waited eight months for this thing. There is no other available inventory anywhere, as the EUVs sell immediately or, in most cases, are already spoken for before they arrive due to waitlists. People trying to get them complain about huge markups because of this.

      I have a "motor vehicle purchase agreement" from the dealership from when I ordered the vehicle and made my initial deposit. That paper shows that I'll be paying MSRP for the vehicle, which I'm happy to do.

      My question is: is the dealership going to try and make me pay something different, knowing that I'm not going to walk away from this? I feel somewhat comfortable that I have an agreement for the MSRP in black and white, but is that enough?

      My other question is: is there some other way they're going to try to get one over on me? Something more subtle or that I don't expect? The last time I bought a car was ~15 years ago, and I pretty much stood there while my dad did the talking (also the car was used and super cheap).

      I will be financing a loan through the dealership to pay for the car.

      Basically, what can I do to make sure tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible? I'm hoping that it's easy, cut and dry, and there's no funny business, but I've also heard some horror stories -- especially from people trying to buy the particular car I'm getting.

      17 votes
    2. I'm struggling with a potential ethical violation at work; feedback needed

      I have a work-related ethics question, and I thought the fine people here on tildes were perfect to give feedback. I'll try to be brief but still give all of the information. Background I work for...

      I have a work-related ethics question, and I thought the fine people here on tildes were perfect to give feedback. I'll try to be brief but still give all of the information.

      Background

      I work for an energy utility. This company isn't a charity, but it is a non-profit. We are owned by the people who buy power from us (called "members"). We don't profit off of the electricity we sell to our members, but we do generate extra electricity to sell to other utilities (mostly to for-profit ones). Any profit we make is either set aside for future use or is sent out to the members as a check. Yes, our members actually get a check each year. This cooperative was built to serve rural communities since at that point in history profit-driven companies weren't willing to spend the money to run electricity to these communities. We cover 90% (geographically) of our state, along with portions of a neighboring state. We generate using wind, hydro, solar, coal, and natural gas. I don't remember the exact numbers, but I believe roughly 30%-40% of our generation comes from renewables, and we now have a dedicated team researching nuclear power (SMNR) and energy storage (which would allow us to further shift to renewables).

      Context

      There is a PAC (an entity that throws money at politicians in exchange for votes) for rural electric cooperatives that we participate in. This PAC can only accept donations from our members or employees. While the stated purpose is to advocate for rural cooperatives in general, I personally think that largely translates into advocating for fossil fuels.

      Every year there is a 10-day period in August where they start asking us employees to donate. Anyone can donate at any time, this is just the time that they emphasize it. Leadership has REPEATEDLY emphasized that there is no pressure and that our supervisors can't see who has and hasn't donated. I've been here nearly five years, and they've said this each time. I know that under the previous CEO (he left ~10 years ago) there was pressure to donate, and that's probably why they emphasize this now.

      Issue

      I've discovered however that the leadership CAN see information on who has donated and how much. PAC donations are public information, and the names and amounts can be easily seen online if you know where to look. I do believe that my division leader didn't know this, though I can't really know whether the other leadership did or didn't. There's no way to know if any supervisors have looked at this data or made decisions on it. After I brought it up to my division leader he thanked me and said he will send this new information out to our division.

      However, communicating this to the rest of the company is beyond his control. He's alerted the people who can do this but what they do is up to them. While my division doesn't really care who donates, I get the impression that other divisions feel differently. IT has a profoundly different culture than the rest of the company. Senior leaders say there's no pressure, but that's not neciserily the case for supervisors and managers. It's been implied to me that the teams that work in power production, transmission planning, etc still have expectations about donations.

      What to do?

      So here's the core ethics question: Is it unethical for senior leadership to withhold this new information about the visibility of donations from the rest of the company? The assurance of anonymity was intended to reassure us that there would be no retaliation for those who don't donate and that there would be no favoritism for those who do.

      Is this just a small thing that's not really important? If this is an issue, how significant is it? It's obviously not "dumping toxic waste in the river" bad, but it still feels like it must have some level (or potential level) of impact. If this is an issue, what actions would you personally take? How much would you be willing to risk taking action on this?

      Thanks in advance, I just want to do the right thing.

      16 votes
    3. Do you know any books, articles, videos, etc. about how relationships (friendships, dating, etc) worked in the past? If so, then why do they rarely appear when people talk about them?

      Occasionally people here get into discussions about social relationships, namely dating, and what quickly comes up is how both of those seem to be less common and harder to 'get'. This more...

      Occasionally people here get into discussions about social relationships, namely dating, and what quickly comes up is how both of those seem to be less common and harder to 'get'. This more frequently happens in overtly dating and relationship subreddits and similar dedicated spaces, albeit, of course, this also pops up in more general communities, alongside any community where social relationships are an important topic, like communities about social ideologies like feminism or the manosphere or about genders because heterosexuality.

      One thing I often find is missing is some historical context. A lot of talk about loneliness and lack of platonic or romantic relationships is basically limited to the recent past, if it even talks about the past at all. It seems like it would be helpful to look at what relationships and dating were like 10, 20, 30 years ago when it comes to talking about the problems or just general state of both today. So do you know of good sources of information concerning relationships in the past? If so, then why do you think they don't pop up in discussions about dating?

      14 votes
    4. Looking for a new high chair. What would you recommend?

      The last time I posted on tildes, I got some really helpful suggestions on a mop for my floors. Now I'm looking for a new high chair for my daughter. She's nearly 6 months old, so we're about to...

      The last time I posted on tildes, I got some really helpful suggestions on a mop for my floors. Now I'm looking for a new high chair for my daughter. She's nearly 6 months old, so we're about to start her on solid foods but gave away our older son's high chair a while back when he started sitting in a regular chair (and because it was terrible).

      The main requirement is that it's easy to clean, but it also has to support a younger baby sitting in one for the first time. Our last high chair (Graco brand) almost seemed like it was designed to have as many difficult-to-reach crevices as possible where crumbs could get pulverized into.

      What do you think?

      6 votes
    5. How can I teach my dog to not be afraid of heights?

      So my girlfriend has this dog, a miniatura Schnauzer. He's 5 years old and in perfect health. For some reason, he fears even the slightest elevation. The dog is quite athletic but behaves as if he...

      So my girlfriend has this dog, a miniatura Schnauzer. He's 5 years old and in perfect health. For some reason, he fears even the slightest elevation. The dog is quite athletic but behaves as if he was much older. He does know how to get on things, like sofas that are not very high, but if we forget to "rescue" him he will literally never go down. Which is cute but also a bother. I wanna make him a bit braver and more independent. Any ideas?

      6 votes
    6. I'm considering on becoming a first-time dog owner soon, looking for advice

      I find myself at a point in my life where I have the time, energy, and money to adopt a dog. Growing up I never had a dog - my parents only had cats. I don't totally know what I'm getting into so...

      I find myself at a point in my life where I have the time, energy, and money to adopt a dog. Growing up I never had a dog - my parents only had cats. I don't totally know what I'm getting into so I'm looking for some advice.

      I would like to have a moderately active dog, as I live a moderately active life. However, many donation sites list even just moderately active dogs as needing a yard. I live in a fairly spacious 1 bedroom apartment that's in a small complex (5 units) on the ground floor. Does this severely restrict the kind of dogs I should adopt? I know a hyper-active breed wouldn't be happy here. But should I consider myself limited to small, lower needs dogs?

      Edit:

      Probably important bit of information, I don't plan to get a puppy.

      22 votes
    7. How to let someone down?

      for those still committed to monogamous relationships: if you've been in a situation where you're talking with a few people that could be romantic interests, how do you let them know it's not...

      for those still committed to monogamous relationships: if you've been in a situation where you're talking with a few people that could be romantic interests, how do you let them know it's not gonna happen once you've found the (current) one ?

      9 votes
    8. How do I talk to my girlfriend about her past sexual assault?

      I've been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for almost a year now, and things seem rough right now because of an issue we're having. My girlfriend is upset with me because she thinks I...

      I've been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for almost a year now, and things seem rough right now because of an issue we're having.

      My girlfriend is upset with me because she thinks I don't care about her past trauma. She's told me, very roughly, what she's gone through, and I told her that whenever she's ready to talk about it, I absolutely will. But according to her, the last time she tried to initiate talking about it, I told her that I had no idea what to say. And this upset her and stonewalled the discussion.

      I don't doubt that happened. My problem is, is that if she were to try again, I might just very well do the same thing. I have zero idea on how to handle something of this severity. How do I ask her to talk about it? Is that something I should be asking? What does someone even say when given this information? I am not equipped whatsoever to deal with information of this magnitude and I'm at a loss. How do I let her know that I really do care about her, and am 100% willing to listen to what she has to say? I worry I'm too far in the doghouse to even make use of any of this advice, but any help is immensely appreciated

      Edit in case anyone was interested: We talked and we're okay :). She told me what she went through and I didn't handle it nearly as bad as I worried I was going to. Thanks everyone for your kind words and helpful advice.

      17 votes
    9. Your Black Friends Are Busy - A growing resource for learning about anti-racism, and supporting the people & organizations doing important work for the Black Lives Matter movement

      If, like me, you'd like to learn more about how to be an ally to your black friends, but feel awkward bringing it up, this is a cool little web app that has a bunch of literature and links you can...

      If, like me, you'd like to learn more about how to be an ally to your black friends, but feel awkward bringing it up, this is a cool little web app that has a bunch of literature and links you can read to find out more about the black experience and how to help.

      12 votes
    10. What do I do now that I quit drinking?

      A little bit about me -- I'm in my mid-to-late-20s, male, single, recently graduated college, and I quit drinking about a year and a half ago. I never really considered myself an addict; there was...

      A little bit about me -- I'm in my mid-to-late-20s, male, single, recently graduated college, and I quit drinking about a year and a half ago. I never really considered myself an addict; there was never a point where I wanted to quit but I couldn't and it never interfered with work or school. I just woke up one day and told myself, "I don't want to do this anymore," so I just stopped.

      The problem, for me at least, is that I live in a relatively rural part of the world. There's not a lot to do here on Friday night other than go to the bars, which never really bothered me anyways because I work nights anyways and don't really like crowded scenes. Most of my free time is in front of my computer, I've recently started getting into distance running as a hobby, and I like playing board games when I can. All of this is fine except for the fact that I can't really seem to make friends in those mutual areas of interest without alcohol anymore.

      I signed up for meetup, which seems like a great way to meet new people, and I'm sure it is, in bigger cities at least. But around here, both the closest board game meetup and run club are an hour and a half away. It seems like everyone around here just wants to meet up to drink, and maybe do some other stuff along the way. (Don't get me started on making my own events here -- crowded bars already give me anxiety so organizing my own meetup with people I've never met before would be a new, special type of hell)

      I think at least part of this is compounded with the fact that since I graduated, I've had a hard time making new friends. I work a very isolating job, and teetotaling only further compounds the issue that I haven't met very many new people. It's something I've thought a lot about while searching for a partner as well -- I can't/don't want to meet people at bars, and I don't really find much use out of dating apps.

      Sorry if this is unorganized or hard to read, it's just a lot of thoughts I've had over the past year.

      edit: another part of it too is that, since I quit without the assistance of AA or any support group, I don't have any like-minded people to do things with.

      29 votes