What little thing has stuck with you?

I have a couple ones.

• A dude complimented me on my brown leather jacket a couple years ago as I was looking at paint swatches with my partner. It really brightened my day up, and I try to make it a point to give compliments out on at least a quarterly basis because of how good it felt. (It's a little difficult randomly talking to strangers for me)

• My dad telling me "You can't do anything about it now, you can only wake up tomorrow and try to be better." as I was in the process of dealing with a terrible mistake I made in a previous relationship. I've made that "Do better tomorrow" saying a soft life-motto.

• The one and only time in my life a woman was interested enough to "approach" me at a bar with my friends and give me her phone # is a feeling I most likely will never experience again.

• Striking up a small conversation with another patron on the patio of a bar I was at. He recommended the band "The Cat Empire" and I still think about that every time I listen to one of their songs.

When I was little my dad, brother, and I would run out for errands from time to time. We would always wanna stop by this outlet mall because inside was a shoe store that we loved. There was an old coke machine with a see through top that took quarters and dispensed glass bottles. My brother and I would always slam the coins in as fast as we could and almost rip the arm off that thing trying to be first. There was a little popcorn cart where you could buy a little theatre bag for a quarter. Popcorn and coke. But it was my dad and my brother and when we got it from that old shoe store it was the most amazing thing.

small compliments every now and then can really make a huge difference to someones day, the amount of stories I hear from men who remember random compliments years after the fact is staggering

For me, it was one of my friends saying my outfit was “well put together” because I had made the effort to colour coordinate my Shoes+Hoodie. That same friend has also complimented my hairstyle and it feels really good

The scene: early 2000's, hot July day, mid-afternoon, a bayside beach on Cape Cod. It might have been Skaket Beach. It was crowded and my mom and I just arrived and we were trying to find a spot for our blanket. Mom was cranky. She didn't travel well with her myriad health conditions and I tended to tread as lightly as possible at all times so as not to be the target for her irritability. We found a spot and sat down to wait for my sister who was 10 minutes behind us. After a few minutes I was sure mom had settled down so I stood up to get a view of the receding tide and to be visible for my sister. Through the crowd of people I saw a head of curly, silver-white hair making it's way from the shore toward the roads and parking lot. The curvy senior lady had a pretty bathing suit on which looked something like a blue china dish. Her bare, plump limbs gracefully led her among the people, and she looked ahead, posture strong. A man about her age followed her with a light bag and a beach blanket. As they got closer, I could see that they were perhaps in their eighties. Her big eyes were blue, and it was impossible to miss because they matched the bathing suit. She was smiling in a way that surpassed all my greatest joys. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I want to grow old like that.

• I went to Costco with my parents when I was like 12 to get new glasses. Once I got them on, I excitedly went to my dad to show him, but whoops! It wasn't my dad at all. And I turned and my parents and brother were laughing at me. I was horrified and that memory has stuck with me FOREVER.

• I have this distinct memory of this day in the spring when I was a child and all the windows in the house were open and there was a breeze. The air was cool, and for whatever reason everything in that moment just felt perfect. Life was perfect. Every single time I open the windows to let a breeze run through the house I hope to recapture that feeling, but I don't think it's possible. It's weird that "the weather was nice that one time" is such a major memory for me.

• Shortly after my wife and I had our twins, my dad left me an encouraging note on a post-it that among other things said, "I know life's frustrating and hard right now, but you'll get through this". And I didn't really find things to be all that frustrating or hard at the time, so I was a little confused. But I kept the note and pinned it to my bulletin board in my office all the same. However, that note has been a good source of encouragement MANY times since then. The toddler stage has been infinitely more frustrating and difficult than the infant stage was. I don't think he intended it to be helpful in the future, rather helpful in the moment. But I'm getting a lot of mileage out of that little note.

• I was struggling to kill a process on a server at work a few years ago and I asked a co-worker for help. He simply shared Monzy's "Killdash -9" and I haven't struggled to kill a linux process since.

• My dad used to drag me to Home Depot and Lowes as a kid and I hated it. He'd also take me to side jobs (he did electrical work on the side), which I hated even more. Just felt like a massive waste of my free time and I'd rather have been playing video games. He didn't do it to bond, necessarily, but mostly out of necessity or trying to give my mom some time to herself. But holy crap all of that crap has paid off so much as a homeowner. I'm fearless with power tools, I've got a basic understanding of plumbing and electric work, and it enabled me to be able to do all sorts of repairs and projects here in the house. I have since thanked my dad for doing that and look forward to passing the knowledge on to my own kids via Lowes/Home Depot torture.

The very smallest thing that's stayed with me the longest huh....

I must have been <=4, and our family had this white, circular, wheeled ottoman. I remember zipping around the flat on that thing, just run run run GLOMP zooooooooom. The flat would have been extremely small: typical 屋邨 estate housing project type flat literally one step up from the sheet metal shack that my parents moved from. But that feeling of freedom and speed, and of the ability to put momentum behind intention, and by choosing a direction and setting course, I can get to a destination faster than I could normally, I think that knowledge of self determination got me through some of the most difficult times and periods of my life.

My father-in-law had just passed away suddenly & my spouse and I were going through it. Plenty of folks sent kind texts along the lines of "let us know if you need anything." We had smiled at those texts and just kept moving forward with all the many, many big and little tasks that line up in front of you when someone close to you dies. Then one of my friends texted me something along the following lines:

"Hey, thinking about you both. I'll be heading home from work in a few hours and I'd really like to bring you guys dinner if you don't already have dinner figured out. Do you want dinner from [place A] or [place B]?"

It was honestly one of the most amazing experiences. It was something we could say yes to. It was an offer of help that didn't come with another little task (what can so-and-so do to help us?). That little experience shaped the ways in which I offer help to others in a crisis ever since. Even if I don't know exactly what might help, I always try to make at least 1-2 concrete suggestions of help I can provide, rather than yet another message of "let me know how I can help" that likely won't be acted on.

I think I was 15 or so at the time, but a counselor at a camp I went to just casually mentioned how small changes in how we communicate can make a huge difference. The example she gave was that instead of saying "This movie/music/food/whatever is great/sucks!" like it's objectively true, we might consider saying "I love/hate this movie/music/food/whatever" or even simply preface it with "I think that..." so that it's clear that it's just our opinion and allows others to disagree.

More than 30 days years later, I still try to follow that rule - it felt almost like a divine revelation at the time, like I was able to glance THE TRUTH ;) Not sure how many people even notice that I do it, but it's important to me. It also makes me internally cringe a bit when someone doesn't phrase things that way, because it feels like it's blurring the lines between opinion and fact...

14 years ago, I moved across the country to live with my mom after a disastrous series of events left me almost homeless. I was lost, felt alone, and hadn't a clue anymore about what to do with myself. I settled into my new home and began looking for work, but this was 2010 and jobs were scarce.

My mom worked in a private school/daycare (birth through kindergarten) and I went and visited one day to explore some of the places nearby that might be hiring. One of the teachers there decided to pull me into a classroom to read with the kids. I must have made a good impression because she went to the administration and demanded they hire me on the spot - which they surprisingly did. Most places like this don't employ men, and yet there I was without any experience, landing a job. It even came with decent pay for that time.

Until then I had no interest in children or teaching, but I figured I didn't want to fuck this up so I worked hard. Turns out, I'm a phenomenal teacher, and within a few years (after completing a two year degree) I landed my own classroom. I'm now set to earn my bachelor's and my teaching license by next year, with the help of a state scholarship that's paying my entire education.

Without that teacher pulling me in, and advocating on my behalf, I would have never found this purpose in life; I never would have discovered a love of teaching; I never would have made it to where I am now with my wife and wonderful children, who I met while working at the school (that's another story entirely!).

I'm eternally grateful I got a second chance in life, and I intend not to waste it.

16 years ago I called my grandma and asked if I could come home. No questions asked, she booked me a plane ticket to fly home and picked me up from the airport. Now, this is a very grandma thing to do and I spent a lot of time with her and grandpa throughout my life. What she didn't know is that I was desperately needing a change of scenery. I was addicted to meth and very close to killing myself. It had to be obvious when they picked me up, I'm 5'11 woman who weighed probably 100 lbs at the time. I think I slept for two whole months. I never heard a word from them about what was happening to me. Grandma asked if I wanted to go to the doctor, made me soup, bought a TV for my room. Basically it was the same soft place to land it had been since I was born. Zero judgement. I probably could have left and gone back to using and she would have done it all over again. But I didn't. I'm still clean. It was a small thing for grandma. She would look at you like your head was on backwards if you asked her why she would do anything like that for a junkie. She volunteered for every social program available in the county, so it wasn't just me. God I miss that woman and I hope one day to be a fraction of the person she was.

My daughter was about 6 or 7 years old. She and I walked into her room. She had these large foam squares that fit together like puzzle pieces to make a soft playing surface on the hard floor. The cats were in her room, and one of them was sharpening his claws on her foam squares.

I said something like "oh no!" I was disappointed for her that her nice play surface was getting scratched up. She just said, "It's OK. I got it for them to scratch."

It was such an incredible way to just roll with something that could have been disappointing. In that moment, I thought to myself, "this kid is more mature at 7 than I am at nearly 30!"

I'll never forget it. I remind her of it sometimes when she's being inflexible, and I think of it often when I find myself getting hung up on stuff. I wish I could be more like she was in that moment.

When I was small, after we go to church, my mom and dad would take us to a small diner-style restaurant, (not the american diner thing, a third-world diner thing) and we'll have a snack there.

Now we seldom go to church, but everytime we do grocery as a family I take my family to eat somewhere. It doesn't need to be fancy, just a place where we can enjoy our time together and eat together. It is also an opportunity for me to introduce my kids to different types of food, and steer them away from fast-food.

"But you didn't even know what I wanted!"

I was walking on a city street one afternoon. Crowds. Shopping. Just normal stuff. This was a while ago.

A young woman (early 20s? late teens?) approached me. Leather jacket. Black jeans. Long hair. A bit rough around the edges, but presentable.

I've been approached by too many beggars on city streets. Always asking for money. Always annoying.

She started speaking. I cut her off before she even got her first word out: "No."

That's when she replied "But you didn't even know what I wanted!"

That woke me up. She was right. She could have wanted anything. Maybe she was lost and wanted to ask directions. Maybe she had a question about local public transport. Maybe she was offering free hugs. Maybe... anything! And I'd become so cynical and jaded that I didn't even bother to listen to her question before cutting her off.

So I stopped and listened.

Turns out she wanted money. She was wearing a leather jacket that probably cost more than I was earning in a week, and she was begging for money. I told her "no" and walked away.

But that comment has stayed with me. Since then, I've always made sure to stop and listen when a stranger wants my attention - even when I'm sure they only want to beg for money (and they usually are).

Hi Kfwyre.

I've been thinking about this question for the last few days.

There are two little things that have stuck with me.

The first was a random act of kindness. The second a random act of snark.

I was about 14, walking to school, looking at my feet, deep in thought, and someone older, walking the other way, said I should be proud, hold my head up high, and look up. He was Maori. The advice was well intentioned. It changed my posture and my eye contact.

Also, at about the same age, I had set up my first bank account, deposited what little money I had into it. Then, I realized I wanted to spend some of the money. And use my ATM card for the first time ever. It was exciting to me. I withdrew the minimum from the ATM. $20. The guy behind me laughed and said "Hey! Big spender!"

Sometimes I catch myself looking downwards while deep in thought, and I remind myself to stay in the moment, look up, and be proud. It makes me feel better about myself.

Sometimes, when I withdraw the maximum the ATM will allow, because now it is more a chore than a pleasure, I sometimes think... "motherfucker, who is the big spender now...."

Kindness matters. Especially in the littlest things.

My housemate back in the '90s always used to berate us for not getting all the rice out of a pan after we'd made rice. Everyone cooked their own meals and I'm pretty sure we took turns washing up, and when he had to wash a pan that had leftover rice in he'd say "dammit, I could make my own meal out of all the rice you've left in these pans!"

That was nearly 30 years ago, but I still think of it whenever I make rice, and try to really scrape all the rice out of the pan every time.

I've numerous ones of these, but one that happened about two years ago was someone made a comment about cost Vs value. It was in relation to something with a budget and the saying that has stuck with me since is "They can see the cost of something, but they cannot see the value of it."

I now apply that to a lot of things in life. What's the cost (monetary or time or X) but what value is it on the other side.

Don’t take for granted the moment you are in. For tomorrow you may wish to come back and savor that which you ignored.