Where can I find the best lanyard?

I really don't know where to put this, so feel free to move, but I have this issue. I carry a LOT of shit on my keychain. Two sets of keys of four each, a SIM removal tool, a tiny retractable box cutter, a USB drive full of installer ISOs (you never know), an AirTag, a CPU with a hole punched through, a 3D printed whistle, and that may very well grow.

Now the problem I have is that the lanyard that I currently have has, over time, widened the gap on the karabiner to the point that I'll regularly lose a key ring in my pocket when pulling it out. Nothing major's happened yet, but it's a matter of time.

So, clearly, I need a better one. A higher quality one. But going on the eTailers of today I really only get garbage. A pack of 20! For ten bucks! Well, thanks, but we all know they'll suck. And frankly, I really don't know how to get my hands on a high quality one. I bet they're out there, I'm sure, but where do I look? What's good, what's bad? I really don't need the high-end climbing gear, or do I? Is my key lanyard a candidate for buy it for life, and if so, am I ready for that commitment?

Looking for any and all advice on this.

PS: I don't wear the lanyard. I'm one of those assholes that puts the active end in my pocket and lets the lanyard itself dangle out.