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    1. Want to get in the gym? Here are some tips from a beginner.*

      I wanted to hit the gym all my life, but I never really made it until this year. Granted, I do have a sports background and have been active most of my life, but going to the gym was never really...

      I wanted to hit the gym all my life, but I never really made it until this year. Granted, I do have a sports background and have been active most of my life, but going to the gym was never really for me, until I decided to really do it this year. After years of shoulder and knee problems, I thought adding some muscle to my frame was definitely needed if I didn't want to be in pain all my life.

      Since I had thought about going to the gym for years now, I feel like I gathered a good bit of information that REALLY helped me to go now. Here they are:

      • The routine is more important than the results; regardless of any information I give you about macros, weights, sets, proteins, whatever all that, going to the gym one more time is going to be better than not going. Results take a LONG time. You will not see progress after a month. You may not see progress after 2 months. You may start to see some progress after 3 months. Real progress takes many months, years. That's why your number one priority should simply be to go to the gym, even if your workout is the worst ever and you use two machines in 30 minutes. Going to the gym 4 times a week is better than 3, going 3 times a week is better than 2 and so on. It takes about 3 months to a year to have the routine set in your life. After that and during that, you'll have all the time in the world to think about how to optimize your training, but just going and sticking to the routine of going is more important than anything else.

      • Choose the easiest, most accessible gym option; the goal is to go. You should make this the easiest for you. Choose a gym that is easily accessible, before or after work. The closer, the better. Heck, your gym can even be your own home! Make some place for you to workout if you want to. You can easily do very good home workouts with maybe 100-150$ worth of equipment.

      • Stick to a simple workout plan; There are some easy plans: target 2 muscle groups per workout, or alternate upper lower body; try to hit the muscles two times a week (2x biceps, 2x triceps, etc.). 3-5 exercises per workout is fine. 1-2min rest, take more if you feel like it, take less if you feel like it.

      • Listen to your body for reps/weight; Going for 5 reps or going for 15 reps, it doesn't matter that much at the start, as long as you can do 2-3 series of that. Try to aim for anything from 6 to 12 reps, if you feel you can do more, do it, if you feel like you cannot, then don't. Some times I do 6, sometimes I do 12, but I try to aim for 8. The routine is more important than the results, all you need to do is go to the gym, the perfect workout can come in later.

      • The movement is more important than the weight; building muscle is simply your muscles tearing and healing. As long as your muscles tear, you've done a good job. But that tear must come from a movement done well, or else you'll tear something that was not supposed to. Go for slower reps if needed, less explosion in your movements. Watch a video on how to do specific exercises if needed, some are mandatory to make sure you don't injure yourself (squats, deadlifts).

      • Don't overdo it, progressive overload is the key; getting injured is EASY, the goal is to go to the gym, not be hurt. Go lower on the weights at first, it's not a competition. I started my dumbell press with like 10 pounds, shaking like crazy, it's normal. We've all been there. Don't ego lift. The routine is more important than the results. The big weights will take a while to reach, but it'll happen progressively.

      • Have some kind of goal that is not tied to a number; I guess this one is more personal, but I feel like it's way easier to stick to the routine when you don't "care" about the results as much. The true goal is to be fit or to be lean or to be muscular or to be healthy, no? I feel like those are achievable long term and are guaranteed to come from the routine. I think if you're a beginner and set some kind of arbitrary number, you're not an expert to know if that goal is realistic or not and it makes the whole working out thing to be dependent on a result that you don't have the slightest idea how difficult it is or how long it takes to reach it. I think goals with a number should come after the routine is set in, not before going to the gym, but hey, that's just my two cents.

      • Eat enough, drink water, get more protein; protein shakes are easy and not that costly, just having a protein shake is fine. Not having it is fine too. If you want to build muscle, you should aim for 100-150g of protein per day. Make sure you eat enough and well, but in the end, the routine is more important. Remember, getting fit happens at the gym, getting lean happens in the kitchen. Weight loss and weight gains both happen in the kitchen. Realistically, a normal genetic male will gain AT BEST 10-12 pounds of muscle the first year of working out (assuming optimal results), so you can aim for that, but just know that your weight gains might not be muscle.

      • Use ChatGPT to help if needed; When I started going at the gym, I followed all these tips, but I didn't really know that to do. So I asked ChatGPT to make me a 4 days a week workout plan, 5 exercises: pull, push, legs, full body. I tried what it gave me for about a month, but I used that month to just replace exercises I didn't like and I slowly started making my own program to fit what I wanted. But I was super happy that I at least had a starting program. I realize that's what's stopping a lot of people and you can use AI to help you out with that, especially if you don't have money to buy a program or pay a trainer to make one for you.

      • Be disciplined, but be kind to yourself; There will be days when you will not be able to workout. There will be days when you will not want to workout. There will be days when you will feel bad about working out. It's ok to miss a day, it's ok to miss a week. Remember, the routine is more important. Just make sure to go back to your routine as soon as possible. Missing one workout after going 20 times in a row feels a lot less bad than missing 2-3 every week.

      Finally, if you have any questions about starting the gym, feel free to ask. I'll gladly help.

      52 votes
    2. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      4 votes
    3. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      7 votes
    4. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      5 votes
    5. I created my own audio player, here is my experiences with the process

      Overview If you want to see just the final result, check out my TiMaSoMo showcase post. This post does minimal amount of showcase of the final project, although it does include some pictures. If...

      Overview

      If you want to see just the final result, check out my TiMaSoMo showcase post. This post does minimal amount of showcase of the final project, although it does include some pictures. If you want to see a showcase of the software, the original author has made a great video showcasing it that is worth checking out: YouTube videoBlogpost for those who prefer reading. Instead, this post is more a discussion of my experience developing a device.

      Initial Planning

      The goal of this project was to create a dedicated audio player, to separate that capability from my phone. The main source of audio will be streaming Spotify, not local files. Although unfamiliar with them, I felt that a Raspberry Pi was a good baseline device. For audio, I had an old USB DAC/amp that I wanted to repurpose. Using this DAC/amp would allow for some of my harder to drive headphones to work, as well as just getting cleaner audio. Then, I was planning on just using an eInk touchscreen. The rationale for eInk was so that it would feel different than my phone, and just feel like it was intended for music instead of scrolling. The logic was if I put a regular LCD screen on, it would not differ from a smartphone, and therefore I might as well just connect my DAC to my phone and use that. For software, the plan was to just use either Android or some lightweight linux distro. The initial plan for batteries was to just use rechargeable AA batteries, so that I can easily swap them out. One major reason I wanted to go with the DIY route was for repairability, especially with batteries. If I got an existing Digital Audio Player (DAP) on the market, I knew that the Li-Ion battery would eventually go bad, and existing devices on the market may not be easily repairable.

      Hardware Sourcing

      My hardware approach was to buy one component at a time. That way, if I ran into an issue with the feasibility of the approach, I could pivot without having wasted money on all the components ahead of time. This approach did slow down development as I was frequently waiting on hardware, but was more fiscally responsible. In January I got a Raspberry Pi 3a+, and played around briefly with some different operating systems. The next part that was needed was to source the screen.

      Initial Plan for eInk

      The original goal was to try and get a touch eInk screen, roughly 5” for a reasonable price. I spent a few weeks trying different places to try and find one, but could not find one. Since I could not find one I started thinking about pivoting to an LCD screen. With this pivot, I started defining goals of the project more. If I were to just use an LCD touchscreen potentially running Android, what makes it different from using my phone? I spent a few weeks trying to define the goals of the project, and was not able to come up with satisfactory answers if I went with an LCD screen.

      Clickwheel design pivot

      In the process of trying to figure out my approach, I stumbled across this YouTube video. I felt like this would be a good starting point. It seemed to solve the issue of it not being another Android device, which was my main problem I was trying to solve. However there were a few parts of the implementation that I did not like:

      • It relied on using old used Apple hardware. This works for now, but over time it would become harder to source replacement parts.
      • I did not already have the hardware, so I would have to buy an old used iPod and strip it for parts
      • It was a bluetooth implementation, so I would have to figure out how to fit my DAC into an old iPod, which seemed unrealistic
      • The battery while replaceable, was a non-descript battery so getting a new replacement with the same form factor would be harder.

      Luckily, for the clickwheel, someone on the weekly programming project on Tildes pointed out this new clickwheel. Since that seemed to be a reasonable approach I ordered one and also got a small LCD screen from Amazon. Unfortunately, the screen used up all the GPIO pins and had non-existent documentation or drivers. I was unable to get the screen to work, so I returned it and ordered a Waveshare 2” LCD. I was intentional on finding one that could be a regular display without using too many GPIO pins. The Waveshare screen had significantly better documentation, and with a bit of work I was able to get it working. With that solved, I started wiring in the clickwheel, and creating basic code to detect basic inputs, which I then used to modify the original code for the Spotify player to handle my clickwheel (see below for comments on code modification). Once I had the screen and clickwheel, I could also develop the software while waiting for parts. Image showing the early iteration of the device

      The last main part I had to solve was batteries. Another helpful comment on the weekly programming thread on Tildes told me about 14500 and 18650 batteries. I sourced a 14500 charger and some 14500 cells from Amazon. I had some issues with the first charger I got, and since they were shipping directly from China, it meant the second one would take another few weeks. Picture of using the 14500 battery. The cells I sourced said they were 2500 mAh. I tried one out, and had playtime of about 30mins, not enough to even listen to a full album on a single charge, which is inadequate. I used a portable battery bank rated at 10000 mAh to set a benchmark, and that lasted significantly longer (I was probably around 50% after about five hours or so of playback). This indicated that the 14500 cell was falsely claiming capacity, which is apparently a common issue on Amazon. It also seemed like 14500s rarely have capacity above 700mAh, so I realized that a 14500 would not work. So I decided to upgrade to an 18650 cell, which I could source the actual battery locally from a reputable vendor, with a capacity of 3400mAh. Since I realized that small hobbyist electronics like this on Amazon were shipping directly from China, I started ordering from AliExpress for the charger, which saved me some money for the same part (and even picked up a spare just in case). Picture of me using the 18650 to listen to music on my balcony during the summer. Since I did not need the extra power of the RPi 3a+, and the battery was taking more space, I ordered a RPi Zero 2w+. I also ordered some micro USB ends to solder to to make internal cabling, as well as a USB-C port to use for charging. By May I had all the hardware parts I needed, and all that was left for hardware was to design a case to 3D print, which is detailed below.

      Software Development

      The first thing I tested was installing Raspotify which this project used, and set it up with my DAC. Since that worked, I started to program the clickwheel using GPIO pins. I had never used a RPi before, but found some easy tutorials on programming the buttons of my clickwheel in Python. Once the buttons were programmed, I had to figure out the rotary encoder, but was able to find a Github repo that had a working Python code to process the inputs. I was able to add that, and created a Python class that would handle all the inputs of my clickwheel. Once that was coded, I just had to incorporate that into the code for the Spotify player frontend. I forked the repo, and was greeted with at the top of the main file this comment:

      # This code is a mess.
      # This is me learning Python as I go.
      # This is not how I write code for my day job.”
      

      This was not an encouraging comment to read, as at the start my Python skills were relatively low. I was able to quickly find where the inputs from the clickwheel were being handled. The original code had clickwheel inputs being handled in a separate C program and then communicating to the Spotify frontend via sockets. Since my clickwheel code was handled via a Python class I was able to simplify it, and not require sockets to be used. With that working, I just had to set up all the required steps to get the project working. Unfortunately, the documentation for deployment was extremely lacking. I was able to find a Github issues post that provided instructions so was able to get it all set up. I was able to get to this phase by the end of March.

      Once I had it all working, I could start on expanding the software to fit my use case as well as start working on any bugs I encounter. I felt a good starting point in handling this was to start addressing the issue of “this code is a mess.” Cleaning up the code would be a good way to gain familiarity with the code as well as make it easier for me to address any bugs or future enhancements. I started work on creating a class diagram, but it was really tedious to do it from scratch with such a large codebase, so I deserted that plan quickly. I am thinking of creating some sequence diagrams from some features I implemented recently, which would help in general documentation to refer back to in the future. I did find some classes that would make more sense in separate files, so did do that. I also started adding in new features as well. The first was to implement a “hold switch” which turns off the screen and disables the clickwheel input. Before, the screen would be on a 60sec timer to turn off, but I felt that sometimes I would want to have the screen stay on (like if I am just sitting in a chair listening to music). This was a relatively easy feature to implement. One bug that kept on appearing is that the screen would frequently freeze on me, normally about 60sec into a song, but would update once the next song started playing. I spent several weeks tracking down this issue, thinking it was software related, as the screen used to timeout after 60sec. I also thought it might be a configuration of my OS, so did some debugging there as well. Finally, I plugged in my main desktop monitor, and realized when the small 2” screen would freeze, my desktop monitor would not. This lead me down to investigating the driver for my screen. I found an issue with someone having similar issues with the original driver that Waveshare forked. I then realized that there was a setting that the screen would stop updating if less than 5% of the pixels were changing. Once I changed that in the config file, the screen freezing issue stopped. I was able to solve this major issue by late July.

      The last major feature I have implemented is to create the ability to add new WiFi networks from the app itself. This was a needed feature if I wanted to bring it anywhere outside of my home, since 3rd Party Spotify apps cannot download music. Luckily, there was a search feature, which gave me a baseline for text input using the clickwheel. I was able to create a basic page that prompts for the input of a SSID and the password, and then adds that to /etc/wpa_supplicant/wpa_supplicant.conf and then restarts the wireless interface. I added this feature into the overall settings page I added, which also included other useful dev options, like doing a git pull for me to avoid having to SSH into the Rpi to do it. The settings page features were a part of my project for TiMaSoMo.

      Case Design

      I started work on the case in late May roughly. The plan was that I was going to design the case and have my friend who owns a 3D printer print out my design for me. To continue with the project goal of repairability, I wanted to avoid using glue for the case. Instead, I wanted to use heated inserts to hold all the components. I had not used any 3D modeling or CAD software before, so it was a learning experience. I settled on using FreeCAD, which I was able to learn the basics of what I needed relatively quickly. I started with a basic case design for a prototype, to help plan out how I would lay things out. On my computer screen, having the device be 40mm thick sounded fine, but after receiving the prototype I realized I would need to be aggressive in thinning out the design. However, this protoype in early June was very helpful in getting a better understanding of how I needed to design it. Case prototype pictures.

      The first iteration I was able to get down to 27mm, which was a significant improvement. I received this iteration in mid July. However, there were parts that did not fit properly. Most of the mounting holes were not aligned properly. However, the bigger issue was that at 27mm the device would not be thick enough to hold the DAC and screen stacked on top of each other. This iteration still had the DAC keep the original metal housing, so that I could easily remove it and use it as originally intended if I did not want to continue using my audio player. First case iteration pictures.

      The second iteration I decided to remove the metal housing of the DAC, which freed up a lot of internal space, with the main limiting factor of thickness being the 18650 battery. So I kept the thickness around 27mm, but had more internal space. Removing the metal case of the DAC was relatively straightforward, except figuring out how to secure it to the print. Luckily, there were two roughly 2.5mm holes in the PCB, that I was able to use to secure it. I also started to do a more complex design, since I was getting more experienced with FreeCAD. I also moved the RPi to the top of the case, so that the two parts of the case could easily separate, with only micro USB connectors being used between the parts in the top and bottom part of the case(Picture of third iteration showing this feature). For anyone who has had to repair electronics that did not fully separate due to ribbon cables (laptops are the worst for this it seems), you understand the quality of life improvement of having the two parts easily separate. I got this iteration of the case in early September, and found a few issues of parts conflicting. However, with the use of a dremel, I was able to modify it to get it to roughly fit (although janky in some parts).In this picture you can see the power switch, which I had to modify to sit outside the case. I wanted to fully assemble it, so that I could start using it and figure out where it needs to improve. The biggest issue aside from conflicting parts was that the top of the case was bulging, so I wanted to add another point of connection to prevent it. This bulge was partly caused by the screen cutout causing a weak point in the top of the case. Second case iteration pictures.

      The third iteration was part of my TiMaSoMo project. This was a relatively simple minor tweaks, as well as fix some minor pain points of the previous iteration. I reinforced the top significantly to prevent bending, as well as add a fifth point to secure it. I also added a recess to make accessing the switches for power and hold easier to use (although I think I messed up the hold switch one). Overall, this print worked well, and there is currently no plans for a fourth iteration. Fourth iteration pictures.

      Here is all four cases compared side by side

      What I learned

      The first lesson I had to learn was how to define project goals. Not being able to source an eInk screen had caused me to pivot, and in doing so I had to reflect on what truly mattered for my project. I knew that DAPs existed, so why build my own rather than buy one? Most DAPs on the market seem to be Android devices where they removed the phone functionality and added in quality audio components. Part of a dedicated audio device was to not have my phone be the everything device that they are, but a second Android device with an LCD screen and better audio components is not the solution. Luckily, I encountered the clickwheel based approach, which did solve that issue (and probably better than an eInk would have). Also, I wanted the device to be easily repairable. Li-Ion batteries go bad, which was another major concern for me with the current options of DAPs. Repairability was something that mattered to me, but I had to embrace what that meant for the form factor. If I went with a non-descript Li-Ion pillow battery, I could probably significantly reduce the size. Understanding that I wanted to avoid just being another Android device and have repairability and replaceable parts as the defining features were useful to keep in mind. That approach did result in compromise though, primarily in physical size at the end.

      The second big thing I learned was just the process of sourcing parts for a project like this. The closest project to this that I have done in the past is create a DIY cable tester. That simply just involved some switches, resistors, LEDs, and some AA batteries that I could all source locally. So having to buy more complex electronics where the documentation mattered was a learning curve for me. Luckily, early on I was ordering from Amazon, where returns were relatively easy. The problem with Amazon though was false advertising for batteries and some components were shipping directly from China. So, switching to AliExpress saved me money without adding any additional in shipping.

      Learning 3D modelling and getting stuff 3D printed was also a huge learning curve for me. I am glad that I got a very rough prototype printed early on in the process. In designing the prototype, I just was not concerned about saving space. However, once the prototype was printed and off my screen and into my hand, I realized how aggressive I needed to be in compacting things. The other thing with using FreeCAD is I learned too late in the process about part hierarchies, and I still do not fully understand them. Not using part hierarchies properly led me to have to do a redesign on each iteration, as moving mounting holes over a few mm would shift every part added after it. Luckily, my designs were relatively simple, but having hierarchies handled properly would have helped me iterate quicker. On top of getting prototypes in hand quickly, using imperfect prints and just adjusting the parts that didn’t work with with a dremel was useful. If I didn’t do that with the second iteration, I would not have dealt with the issue that the top of the case would bend out over time. Spending time using the imperfect device helped me figure out the issues to make the next iteration better.

      Future Goals

      The first goal I will add in future expansion is to add better documentation and create a better development workflow. Right now, my process includes pushing any changes I do (luckily I am using Github branches now), then pulling the updated repo and starting it on my Pi. However, I never test if it compiles properly before pushing, so I end up sometimes doing five pushes in ten minutes, playing whackamole with compilation errors. Being able to run a dev version on my desktop with keyboard emulation for inputs would be beneficial.

      Another big issue that I want to solve is that I need to clean up the audio on lower resistance headphones like my IEMs. There appears to be some electrical noise, that only sensitive devices like IEMs detect. The solution I am currently considering is to add in a capacitor on the voltage rail between the Pi and the DAC to hopefully get cleaner power.

      Another issue is that I currently have no indicator of battery life. Since it is an 18650 Li-Ion battery, I should be able to just detect the gradual decrease in voltage, and calculate battery percentage. However, GPIO pins appear to be unable to do that natively, so I may have to add in a small controller board to do it. I have not looked too much into this.

      There are a few UI/UX decisions that do not match my preferred way of listening to music. So over time I plan on gradually tweaking the UI/UX to match what I want it to be. A prime example of this would be that when I select an artist, I want it to present a list of their albums, instead of playing their most popular songs.

      I want to be able to use Spotify Lossless, since that has rolled out near the end of this project. Unfortunately, it seems that currently it will not be supported. Seems like Librespot (which is the basis for Raspotify) does not currently have a solution that does not involve working around Spotify’s DRM.

      Conclusion

      Overall, I am really glad I took on this project. It took a long time for me to get it to a finished state. However, the experience has been really fun, and I have learned some new skills. Also, having a dedicated device that all it does is stream Spotify is really nice. I always found myself whenever I was listening to music ending up scrolling on my phone for a bit more stimulation, and then realized I have not been paying attention for the past couple of songs. Having a device where all I do is just listen to music and leave my phone behind has been nice. Also, modifying the code to fit my preferred use case has been nice. There are points where I realize I do not like how something is laid out, but then I have agency to change the layout. Here are some pictures of the final device.

      If you want to build the device yourself, I will warn you that it has some rough edges. Also, the DAC/amp is discontinued, so sourcing that to fit inside the case would be tricky. However, my Github repo has all hardware listed, the code needed, and easy to follow software deployment instructions.

      30 votes
    6. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      16 votes
    7. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      9 votes
    8. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      3 votes
    9. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      3 votes
    10. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      8 votes
    11. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      4 votes
    12. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      7 votes
    13. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      7 votes
    14. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      10 votes
    15. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      10 votes
    16. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      9 votes
    17. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      6 votes
    18. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      14 votes
    19. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      5 votes
    20. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      13 votes
    21. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      8 votes
    22. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      3 votes
    23. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      4 votes
    24. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      9 votes
    25. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      9 votes
    26. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      5 votes
    27. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      4 votes
    28. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      5 votes
    29. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      3 votes
    30. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      10 votes
    31. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      9 votes
    32. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      7 votes
    33. Where to find reputable gaming reviews

      I was a fan of GameRevolution’s reviews for a long time. They always seemed to have a criteria to reviews that not only sold me on what to pursue, but what to truly avoid even if I loved the...

      I was a fan of GameRevolution’s reviews for a long time. They always seemed to have a criteria to reviews that not only sold me on what to pursue, but what to truly avoid even if I loved the franchise. (MGS: Ground Zeros, I’m looking at you.) They have seemingly reduced to one reviewer…

      I love the weekly Tildes thread of “what games are you playing” and it has truly opened my eyes to some games I would never have heard of, or even tried (Balatro).

      Anywho the point of this is to ask where everyone else looks for reputable/intelligent reviews currently? I enjoy listening to Luke Stephens talk about the industry, but it’s not as concise as an A-F or star or 1-10 rating system. IGN doesn’t have my attention… I just don’t know where to turn, as there are so many options.

      20 votes
    34. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      7 votes
    35. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      6 votes
    36. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      8 votes
    37. Well, today was scary (blackout in Portugal and Spain)

      I'm writing this as a way to, I guess, journal my thoughts but also share my experience, here's hoping it makes an interesting read. Sorry in advance if this feels disjointed or disorganized, I'm...

      I'm writing this as a way to, I guess, journal my thoughts but also share my experience, here's hoping it makes an interesting read. Sorry in advance if this feels disjointed or disorganized, I'm writing as I go.

      So for those of you that don't know, today there was a massive blackout in Iberia and some regions of France, and it was a total blackout. Over 60 million people were affected.

      The causes are still unclear, but it appears that it was due to a rare meteorological event that took out a high voltage line. This line distabilized all of the grid and took out the power. As far as we know, there was no cyber attack or anything of the sort.

      Anyway, here's how things went down for me.

      Today I woke up at 8:00 in the morning, went to work as usual. In my office, we had a completely normal morning as usual. But then, around 11:30, power goes out. Our monitors stopped working, lights shut down, ventilation system turned off, the whole shebang.

      I thought, "just another blackout, should come back any moment". But then, my colleague sitting on my side, was on a call with someone in Porto - we were in another city - and that the power there was also out. (our wifi had UPS, so we had internet for a while).

      While very rare, it actually wasn't the first time that this happened. Last year we had an outage that took out several regions in Portugal. So I thought, "again? Weird."

      People started talking to each other, calling friends and family to ask them if they also had the outage. And sure enough, all of them did. Soon enough we started to find out that even Lisbon and Algarve were missing power, so it was a national outage.

      Cellular data still worked, I started refreshing all the news websites that I knew of and checking r/portugal on reddit. These moments were... Not unnerving per se, but worrisome. Never in my life I experienced something like this.

      Some news started coming in, but none of them mentioned anything that we already didn't know. Just that there was a outage and that there wasn't a lot of information about it.

      Comments on reddit started saying that this outage was also international, that regions in Spain were affected. Soon after, also France. Then some also said that it happened in Germany, Switzerland, Belgium and Italy.

      Soon after, it dropped, and I paraphrase the title of the news: "Outage in Europe. Military personnel summoned".

      My dudes, the brainstorm and red flags that went in my head at this moment...... I kept my cool and tried to stay calm, but internally I was going at 300 km/h. The only logical conclusion at this time was "Russia is f*cking invading us".

      Didn't help that, at this time, there still wasn't any confirmations if it was a cyber attack or not, so all the possibilities were on the table as far as I was concerned.

      I kept refreshing, waiting for the page to update with more information, while hanging out with my colleagues. After a short while, around 12:30 - I think - there were confirmations that it wasn't a cyber attack, but instead a technical incident. The comments and reports were all over the place, some said it was a fire in France, then an airplane that crashed, then it was something in Spain, etc etc. So I decided to tune everything out and only use that page as SSOT.

      Glad I did that because, we all decided to go for lunch, and people were all talking about what happened. And some, started saying that russian submarines were spotted along the coast, that they saw it on Facebook. Misinformation on social today must have been on an all time high.

      Our company decided to let us go home, so I got into my car and went home. While traveling, I turned on the radio to "Antena 1", a national radio station that kept giving us information about what was happening.

      So for starters, yes, the military was summoned but it was to help with all the problems that we were facing. People got stuck in metro stations and elevators. Traffic lights weren't working so there were accidents. People panicked and started buying anything and everything on the supermarkets and stores. Some gas stations closed.

      Some supermarkets and stores were closed due to them not being able to process the purchases. The only one that remained open were the ones with generators.

      Pharmacies were also facing issues since they couldn't connect to their centralized databases (from what I understood), but there were also worries if their generators would last long enough to keep the medications in low temperatures.

      As I was driving, it was also confirmed that general power would return between 6 to 10 hours, but at most it could take 72. General power should be stabilized in a week.

      Once I got home, I found my old radio, that has at least 20 years, put some batteries in it and synced to Antena 1, and listened to it throughout the whole day. We're talking about an analogue radio, the kind that you have to rotate the wheel to set the frequency.

      One thing that I started to appreciate, is how my iphone 12 pro max, a technological marvel, became basically unusable. While this simple piece of plastic that my parents bought for maybe 5 euros just worked. The cellular towers started to fail throughout the country, as they themselves started to run out of power (I assume they had generators). Meanwhile, this radio, it just worked.

      I spent the whole day listening to it, and took the chance to watch Chainsaw man, that I had downloaded on my phone.

      It was.... I don't really know how to describe it, but the fact that I could keep up with what was happening was good. The idea of just waiting without knowing what was happening is stressful. This tiny radio was my only source of information, at this point I had no internet, no TV, no calls, no text messages, no nothing, just the radio.

      I know that right now it feels like I'm praising the hell out of that radio, but that's because it really did feel like the only connection I had to the outside the world, not counting my neighbours of course.

      As for food and water, thankfully I was fine. But there were people that didn't have much at hand and - understandably - were scared that they wouldn't have enough for the next days.

      Thankfully though, the guys over at the power plants did an excelent job and power started returning in several regions, one at a time, now at night. I got power a while back.

      So... Other than the existencial dread that I got in the morning, it was fine for me personally. Although I can't imagine those that got stuck in metros and elevators and trains.

      I got humbled today. We take the internet, TV, power, calls and messages for granted, but today I didn't have access to any of them, and for a while not having them for a few days was a real possibility.

      In terms of food and water, I was fine, but I think I'm really going to get one of those survival kits after all, just in case. Hopefully I'll never need it but better prepared than sorry.

      73 votes
    38. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      11 votes
    39. Spiraling

      Preface: Beware: long, scattered post incoming. I'm not having suicidal thoughts. No matter what happens, life is still worth living. I'm spiraling right now. I'm so confused and lost that I need...

      Preface:

      • Beware: long, scattered post incoming.
      • I'm not having suicidal thoughts. No matter what happens, life is still worth living.

      I'm spiraling right now. I'm so confused and lost that I need to just put this out there, somewhere, anywhere. Here goes:

      I've been happily married for coming up on 8 years next week. Our relationship has always been strong, we've always considered each other best friends, and I've always felt that our love was built on a rock-solid foundation.

      Lately, my wife has been acting very distant. Enough so that it started ringing some alarm bells in my head. I took a personal inventory of several of the "disconnected" events and sat down with her last week to ask if we were okay. Her response was indifference. After a bit of a pause, I asked her if she still loved me, to which she responded "I don't know." Of course a lot more was said, but the summary is that I was completely floored and she was emotionless and indifferent.

      I asked one thing: that we would set up marriage counseling sessions. She agreed. Our initial individual sessions start next week.

      Since then, I've spent every single moment trying to examine myself and my flaws, where I've damaged our relationship in the past, and what I can do in the future to be a better person for her.

      On Monday, I actually had some massive discoveries about myself, and blindspots in my emotional maturity. I discovered one little thing, which led to two or three more. By the end of this very exciting and motivating self-reflection session, I was PUMPED UP! For once in years, I felt like I've discovered this whole new region of growth in my brain.

      I also had a session with my therapist that same day, in which I shared the recent events and my bout of epiphanies. She mentioned that "sometimes it takes a major life event to get people out of a rut and start a growth journey." I left the session feeling really good, really motivated, like there is a whole new and great future ahead of me and us.

      I also came to a realizations about how I've hurt her in the past. The long and the short of it is that I'm terrible about empathizing and listening to feelings, and my insecurities put me into a defensive mode rather than a supportive, listening, partner mode.

      A week later, and I'm still buzzing, reflecting, discovering more emotional epiphanies, and REALLY looking forward to marriage counseling. However, I've also forced myself to keep all of this to myself and just start showing that I am growing by taking actions. It hasn't been the time to share any of this with her, especially because I've said a lot of words in the past about changing that never seemed to materialize. I knew that the right time would come.

      And then, last night happened.

      "I had a session with my therapist today. I've made the decision that we need to divorce."

      Commence spiraling.

      The first thing I said was: "Please, I'm begging you, go through the marriage counseling sessions with me."

      She said "I will go to marriage counseling, but I'm only doing this for you."

      I then decided to share with her all of the personal discoveries I've made and the growth journey I'm embarking on, how I've realized that I hurt her in the past when she needed me most, and how I'm committed to growing and working on myself and our relationship because I love her and I made that vow to her when we married. I told her that I realized finally what this heavy feeling in my heart is: it is the physical manifestation of love, and I know that because it hurts so much, and if it wouldn't hurt if there wasn't love.

      She said she went through a similar process of pain and grieving last year (there's some really deep and heavy stuff that went down, in short, she discovered that her father was not her biological father; she started the journey of meeting her new family and my response at the time came from insecurity and jealousy). She said that she was done processing those emotions and that she has moved on and is focusing on herself and our 3 year old son.

      She said that she loves me and cares about me, she even held me and hugged me. But that made it hurt even more. I feel like I am being led on.

      I went for a walk to clear my head, and when I got home, she asked if I was okay, and I said "No. But I'm treating this as a challenge. Your love has always come easy and I've never had to fight for it. For the first time, I am going to actually fight to earn your love."

      I didn't sleep last night. I decided to go into the office this morning to knock some stuff out early so I could take a personal day. On the way out the door, I asked her to promise something to me: I said "when we go to marriage counseling, please don't do it for me. Please do it for us. We've gone through so much together, we made vows to each other when we married that we would stick together through the good and the bad. Please, let's just give it one last ditch effort." She said "Okay."

      This morning, some questions have started popping into my head, uninvited: "how will custody of our 3 year old work?" "Will I be removed from his life?" "Who's going to get the house?" -- and I'm really trying to remove those thoughts from my mind right now because I don't want to even entertain the possibility at this point. These are questions I never in a million years I thought I would be asking myself.

      Now I'm at a coffee shop, typing this message. I have an emergency appointment with my therapist in a few hours, although I'm not sure what that will solve at this point.

      I am questioning the very core, foundational things I thought I knew about myself. I am confused and lost and heartbroken.

      I'm also not really sure why I'm sharing this message with you all. Perhaps because it is therapeutic to type all of this out, and perhaps I trust this community.

      52 votes
    40. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      6 votes
    41. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      5 votes
    42. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      8 votes
    43. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      10 votes
    44. The strangest encounter

      I woke up around 23 this evening to some noise from the common room which I live right next to (large apartment building). No biggie, I thought, I have noise cancelling earbuds so I can listen to...

      I woke up around 23 this evening to some noise from the common room which I live right next to (large apartment building). No biggie, I thought, I have noise cancelling earbuds so I can listen to some music to drown it out. Well, right as it struck 24, it was like a bomb went off. The music was turned up beyond belief and they were yelling and screaming and stomping in the floor to the point that I could feel it in my own floor and my room was shaking a little bit. Absolutely nuts.

      Having anxiety, I had to summon the courage for a while to prepare myself to go out and complain about it, and ask them to please keep it down, it's past midnight, people are sleeping, etc. etc.

      When I opened my door to the hallway, two guys were standing there, also in pajamas. Obviously in those outfits they were not part of the party so I asked them if they were here to complain too, and they said yeah they live right above the common room and had their sleep ruined because of it. So I said that like, well if we are 3 people from 3 separate apartments, it will probably help a lot that the partiers took it seriously. They had already been in there to complain but they joined me anyways. Turns out the party is because of Iranian new year, and that's why it was a relatively measured party but went so crazy at midnight.

      We ended up in the hallway chatting for a while about the noise and one of the guys had even called the police in the past when another party happened, and I said yeah I was thinking of doing the same tonight - it seems to have worked all fine though, so no need, because it's now about 2 o'clock and they are keeping it quiet-ish out there.

      The one guy said he's American and only been here for 3 months, so he's not really sure about the customs about parties, nor really the house rules because somebody once knocked on his door to complain to him in the middle of the afternoon because he plays the violin in the symphony orchestra here. So I told him the house rules and whatnot, explaining that no, it's never okay to bother your neighbours like this, no matter the time of day. But the other guy and him share a wall, and he said he never hears him at all - so that's why he was confused about the rules I guess.

      Anyway that other guy had to get up super early apparently and went back upstairs to go to bed, so we wished him good night and sleep well, but the American and I smalltalked a little bit more. Just like names, handshake, where are you from, what do you do for a living blah blah. He said that he had had such a long day, doing rehearsals for hours and then played a concert in the evening. So I thought well he really needs to sleep then, so I was about to just say goodnight to him as well, then jokingly said that maybe we'll meet again - as in, complain about noise together some day.

      I think he didn't quite get the joke though, so he said that yeah sure, I should come watch him play sometime, they do concerts every week. Or I could come up for tea if I'd like.

      So I think I was just asked out on a date???? I'm not really interested in that so if we do go ahead with meeting up again I should probably tell him that, but that I wouldn't mind making a friend. What a story that would be though:
      "How did you two meet?"
      "Oh we bonded over telling people to shut up."

      So yeah, that was pretty strange lol, just a a funny encounter that I wanted to share - probably a bit of a long story. I am not very concise but thanks for reading!

      37 votes
    45. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      3 votes
    46. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      10 votes
    47. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      7 votes
    48. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      13 votes
    49. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      4 votes
    50. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      11 votes