Men in tech #YesAllMen

The highest gender equality index in the EU and among the highest in the world.

I live in one such top rated country.

My mom worked for an international pharma conglomerate's country division. Her pay was substantially (about 30%) lower than everyone else's who worked similar positions, despite the fact that the department she was managing consistently outperformed all others every year, by a lot. After years of this she finally worked up the courage to ask for a raise. Her boss said: 'You already have the highest salary out of all the women in this company'.

Sometimes the best/highest is not even close to good enough.

The highest gender equality index in the EU and among the highest in the world.

Gender Disparity and the Glass Ceiling in Europe’s High-Tech Sector: A Case Study of Sweden | The Critical Review of Social Sciences Studies

Edit: my Google drive Link to the pdf

"the findings revealed that although Sweden has relatively high levels of female participation in the workforce, there remain forms of vertical and horizontal segregation in the technology sector. Women are underrepresented in executive positions, accounting for only one third of management jobs, and they routinely experience an unadjusted pay difference of around 10% in key technical and leadership areas. Discriminatory recruiting through male dominated networks, "bro-culture" conditions, and the "parental penalty" that endures despite strong welfare systems all contribute to the "glass ceiling." This study finds a "Nordic Paradox," in which long standing organizational biases in technology intensive businesses are concealed by high national equality ratings.". (Emphasis mine)

Believe it or not, despite having a dick and identifying as such, I actually talk to and form relationships with women in my field. I also spent a good deal of my time organizing work functions not unlike the one mentioned in the video. Part of my job was therefore protecting people from any uncouth behavior. Has there ever been inappropriate behavior? Certainly. Has it ever reached anywhere close to what is described in the video? No.

I don't give a damn about your genitals. I didn't accuse you of "not forming relationships" in the field . And as I said, this is why research would be helpful. She also described both extreme examples and persistent "are you here with your husband?" "Are you a designer" "come speak about being a woman not about your work" messages from the broader tech community. The whole range is a problem, not just the extreme end.

I've never experienced this extreme behavior in my current field, but because I served as an assigned advocate for another staff member, I'm aware it happens, even at an institution where my gut would be to say it doesn't. I have experienced much lower levels of harassment in my current job from staff who aren't present any longer, because my dept doesn't tolerate it, but I've been much more protected than other staff by age and now position, and I also have run into it in its most subtle way outside of my department.

That's why I took issue in the first place. If this was "the awful things I went through", that's one thing. But "basically every single woman goes through this and basically all men are at fault" is such a strong claim, I cannot help but dismiss it as a cultural phenomenon because it does not come anywhere close that has been experienced by any women around me in my entire professional life (in tech).

"Basically all men are at fault" misses the point. I know men who don't tolerate sexist comments, don't laugh at sexist jokes and who speak up first when there's an issue. I've also had to personally speak up to even begin to remove men from LARP and gaming spaces who are so well known as problems we (the women/femme folks) all warned each other about them. The men running those spaces didn't think they should or could until I spoke up and said they must. Their "fault" was not seeing the behavior as a problem. The point is that while it's everyone's problem - when the people in power, the people in the space are majority men such as tech - it really lands on not just the leadership but the majority of the literal bodies present to start shutting it down. That means men, particularly in tech, because they're not listening to the women. (And in my experience the worst misogynists will ignore literally everything a woman has to say about their behavior where they will usually listen to men.) So yeah if you tolerate it, it's partially your fault - if not then it isn't you. So why are you mad on the behalf of the people who do tolerate it?

So back to the data:
Research suggests over just the past ten years, regardless of your personal experiences there are still major disparities in pay and leadership opportunities as well as discrimination based on things like motherhood despite much greater equality in leave. That was just the first paper I found in a search.

Here are a few more

Sweden's #Teknisktfel movement exposes sexual harassment in the tech industry - The World from PRX

There were the technicians who would send porn to female colleagues taking calls at an information technology company. One woman said a CEO put his hand between her legs while they watched a blackjack game at a company outing. Another woman said an older male colleague prefaced his compliments by saying he was impressed with her work even though she’s young (she’s in her 30s) and a woman.

Release: State of Women in Tech 2026 Report - Women In Tech Sweden

One of the most concerning findings in this year’s report is that six in ten women have experienced gender-based discrimination at some point in their careers.

The situation is particularly severe among younger women. Nearly eight in ten women under the age of 26 report having experienced gender-based discrimination during the past year.

Work continues towards a more equal industry - TechSverige

Pdf alert EXPLORING THE CHALLENGES TO ACHIEVING GENDER DIVERSITY IN SWEDISH IT FIRMS

The results of this study show that despite efforts to improve gender diversity, there are still significant gaps between corporate strategies and the actual experiences of women in the Swedish IT sector. Organisations face recruitment 3and hiring challenges, including biased job descriptions and difficulties in attracting female talent, compounded by structural barriers that overshadow long-term diversity goals. Female employees report a lack of role models, gender stereotypes and insufficient support, indicating a workplace with unequal opportunities and subtle biases. However, the study also identifies positive strategies, such as increased mentoring and work-life balance policies, that show ways to close these gaps and promote a more inclusive and equitable environment.

That was about ten minutes.

Do you often start conversations by mentioning your dick to women? Such an act seems at odds with the whole progressive and gender-egalitarian ideal you're claiming.

Do you also find yourself telling women that they should contextualize their statements better and more narrowly so that all the men around don't feel as targeted by their statements when they are trying to make a point?

If yes to either of these, I can guarantee you that these relationships you're forming are not as solid as you think.

Yes, I watched the video.

Her personal experience (and the experience of every woman that has shared similar things) is qualitative. But you can't personal experience "I didn't see it" so you do have to have something a bit more formalized for "I didn't see it." That and data does support that a large percentage of women experience sexual harassment, relatively few report (and some of these experiences wouldn't rise to that level despite being awful), and that doesn't even get into whether something changes after reporting.

"This doesn't happen here" is a claim that requires more evidence given the well documented nature of sexual harassment and discrimination and the like in tech (and in general). At least in my opinion.

I don't know whether you're from the same place they are but I'm hoping for a reply from them.

I'm always super hesitant to go to life.women and write from my experience as a hwite man, as such I usually only read rather than comment, but I do want to sort of echo (what I think is) the intent behind this post: there are different forms of sexual harassment that apply and those require different approaches.

To which I do not mean to say there's no sexual harassment, but I do think there's a difference in how it presents. I won't even say it happens less, it probably happens in equal amounts, just through different methods that aren't as out in the open.

The stuff mentioned in the video would be a quick way to get yourself fired here and I'd go as far as to say that I can't speak up because I quite frankly don't have the opportunity to do so.

I'm not sure if it's more or less insidious if it happens out in the open or secretly, and I don't pretend to be an authority on that decision whatsoever, but I do think the latter is far more difficult to tackle on a case by case basis. A group of colleagues can be reprimanded or socially policed, secret advances (if not reported) cannot. At least not in my direct spheres of influence.

As always, when speaking in broad terms there is the danger of speaking in absolutes and taking those at face value. So consider these broad terms to be broadly speaking about broad cultural phenomena rather than sweeping true or false statements.
With that in mind I think the video does not work as well here as it might in England or the US. Even if the intent and the CTA is perhaps(/probably) appropriate, it may not reach the intended audience because the attack vector is dissimilar enough.