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When did you learn you had ADHD?
I saw a post on reddit about a guy asking about why his wife changes hobbies so much. He went on to detail her getting super fixated on a hobby, investing a lot of money and learning a lot, and then dropping it. A lot of people were mentioning possibly being adhd.
I remember that being the first thing that clued me in as an adult who was not diagnosed until later in life.
Anyone else care to share?
I found out in my mid 30s that I have ADHD. I had kinda suspected it but never gave it much thought because I never had big problems with it. It became much more apparent in grad school and I feel as if it's gotten worse, but I'm not sure if that's due to stress or age.
Exact same situation with me. I was diagnosed last year at 37. Had suspected in the past I had autism - might be just some of the overlap symptoms. I knew i always struggled with cycling depression and anxiety but it wasn't that big of a deal until I hit grad school. I was able to handle classes pretty well, but kinda bombed my thesis - that thing that requires singular, focused attention. I wish i had been diagnosed sooner so I could have had therapy and possibly medication to help me through it.
I do amazing with coursework. I have kicked butt in all my classes, unless it stops getting interesting or challenging.
I somehow made it through the comprehensive exam and prospectus, but I really started hitting a wall when I was no longer TA'ing and was just doing research at my own schedule.
I was fortunate where I saw a problem and talked to a therapist who immediately recognized the ADHD and helped me get medication and figure out behavioral techniques. I probably would've dropped out if I hadn't figured something out.
What kind of behavioral techniques do you mean? I can't afford therapy, and I was diagnosed with adhd last year. Been struggling ever since.
One of the main things that helps me is to remove friction from starting tasks. Examples include:
Unrelated to starting tasks -- I have a policy of not trusting myself to remember things and set alarms and utilize apps. My brain has way too much going on for me to want to add a bunch of things for me to try to remember (and then forget).
As context switching and interruptions at work can be deadly, I'll sometimes set myself to busy so I don't get notifications (as we use Slack co-workers can still bypass that if something is urgent) and I'll also try to save working on low effort/value tasks (like email) for when my brain is fried.
I'm in my 40s and have amassed so many things I do to work with my brain but it's really about finding what works for you. Another thing I will add though is that if I don't get enough sleep -- the next day will feel as if I skipped taking my meds. And I also do better if I wake up at the same time regardless of day of the week.
I hope you find some ideas to try that work for you.
I talk a bit more about them in this post (and there are other great tips in there that I recommend reading on), but to put it briefly, my ADHD manifests in being easily distracted, having issues not getting start, and being overwhelmed by many large tasks that are in my head at once.
To manage this, I plan out virtually everything work related. Any meeting goes onto a google calendar on my phone and then that is connected to my gmail. I also try to use a physical planner because I find the act of writing things out helps with remembering things. Regardless, having the scope of everything all at once helps with planning. Another thing that I run into when planning out my week is that I'm not the best at estimating time, so whenever I plan a task, such as doing the dishes or checking my e-mail I double the initial time I think it's going to take (e.g. if my gut instinct is that it will take one hour, I plan for it to take two). This helps me get more realistic plans for things as I forgot about the small details that add up, or accounts for minor distractions.
When planning big tasks, I sometimes get paralyzed with the sheer scope of it, so I will break it up into the smallest possible chunks and if I need to plan that out. It can get a bit tedious, but seeing all of the small points helps with getting me started and gives me a direction where to go.
Ultimately with all of this you have to start real small. Don't start more than one habit at a time, and try to set reminders to help you to remember do these things like planning. If you want to plan, focus on one day at a time and set a reminder for the morning, the end of the work day, or whenever you think works best and just plan your day. Schedule in the time to schedule the next day. Once you start getting a good habit of every day, maybe you can start thinking about planning out a week and then working to a month. Another thing you can do when planning out big tasks is start with the end goal and work backwards - what are all the steps from the end to the beginning that you need to do.
And don't be discouraged if it's not perfect or if you have to change things up to figure what works. I struggle with wanting things to be perfect the first time which makes it hard for me follow through on something so I have to be forgiving with myself. Be forgiving of yourself and keep trying new things. I've tried lots of different techniques that I've seen other people describe - some work but many don't.
If you have any questions or want to talk a bit more about it please feel free to message me directly.
What have been the biggest practical benefits of diagnosis for you? I've been vaguely aware that I fit a number of ADHD symptoms (or at least stereotypes of symptoms, I'm kind of wary of too much self diagnosis here) and I've been thinking for a while about whether I should start looking into this properly and trying to get a proper diagnosis.
But right now at least, I'm not sure what the actual benefits here are, apart from just a piece of paper with the word "ADHD" on it. I feel like I'm managing okay with my own strategies. There's definitely things I'd like to change, but I'm not sure how much of that could be affected by an official diagnosis, and how much is just the general feeling of disfunction and disappointment of the late 20s, early 30s.
Medication is the obvious one, since you can't really get that legally without a diagnosis. Stimulant meds for ADHD have some of the best stats for efficacy among psych meds in general -- there's some variation ofc, but by and large they help people with ADHD a lot. For me specifically I had a tendency to take long midday naps which don't happen when I take my meds, but they also help me focus and not want to die when doing something tedious. It also just makes it easier to get up ane start new tasks rather than feeling "stuck" (though this is a mix of medication and behavioral intervention).
Another big benefit I personally felt was this validation that I'm not a failure for struggling with things my peers found easy. I was living on my own and doing grad school, both of which were being pretty severely impacted by my ADHD, and knowing there's a reason beyond me being lazy or incompetent was a big weight off my shoulders. Idk if that would really be the case for you or not, but it's something to think about.
Fwiw, a lot of ADHD people manage okay with their own strategies... until something upends their current strategies or drastically changes the situation. I excelled in high school and undergrad with my own strategies, but absolutely plummeted in the latter half of grad school because of the fact that the type of self-directed work with little planning and only occasional guidance from professors that was now expected was no longer something my coping strategies could handle (you can't really sit down and crank out a master's thesis in one long sitting at the last minute), and without them I did not have the skills for planning a long-term project and making incremental progress. This would still have been a hard af transition but I think having a medication regimen and knowledge of my ADHD earlier would have made these problems blindside me less and helped me learn to cope with them. So it's worth considering whether it's potentially worth getting a diagnosis now in case your life gets suddenly a lot harder later on.
Sparksbet is right on the money with everything they said and I couldn't agree more. I will just add to say - I'm opting out of medication for now. I may try some in the future, but I'm just working on therapy. And therapy has definitely helped. It's helped me accept just being different and to stop fighting my nature. It's helped me lean into some of the ADHD habits to even help me in my life. One example of this is cleaning. I would get so stressed out about cleaning because i would get this idea in my head that i need to focus on one thing (let's say the kitchen) to the exclusion of anything else. And focusing on one thing was hard and I would end up dropping it early and getting very little done.
What i do instead now is just put on some music and put myself in the place where things need to be done. I put no expectations on myself to accomplish one task - I just let my brain wander and pick up some laundry, put away some dishes, clean the toilet, etc. I avoid perfectionism in the form of trying to be overly efficient - i don't try to plan my route around the house so i'm optimally cleaning. I just let things go naturally and let my brain lead the way. It may be less efficient, but it's better for my mind.
What kind of grad school did you do, by the way?
I'm in grad school at the moment. I'm in a degree by coursework, and the pace of it, while intense, does sort of gel with my brain. I think I would really struggle with a research-based degree though.
I am doing a research-based Ph.D. I am planning to defend in Spring of next year - about two years after I was originally expecting. The weird thing is that I had worked as a lab tech for a few years so I had experience with research and it seemed fine, but I think in that situation my PI was giving me structure by just telling me what experiments to do.
I was listening to a podcast, Best Friends with Nicole Byers and Sasheer Zamata, and in one episode they started talking about Byers' ADHD. She mentioned she was diagnosed as an adult, and that her type of ADHD, inattentive type, presented itself quite differently to the hyperactive-impulsive type that is so often stereotyped and referenced in media, and as she described how things the disorder affected her life from her own perspective, I started to relate and realize that maybe these symptoms applied to me. So much of ADHD awareness is focused on kids with hyperactivity because it can be disruptive to the people around them, that often those with inattentive type are overlooked.
Thank you for mentioning this. For anyone lurking in this thread who is curious about this other form of ADHD, I will take a brief moment to elaborate.
To begin, ADHD is more than just a short attention span; it's a complex condition affecting how one regulates their attention.
Take the concept of hyperfocus, where an individual struggling with ADHD can become so engrossed in a captivating task that they lose track of time. This can happen even if they are not particularly enjoying the task!
Perhaps you've seen a parent type, for example, stubbornly grinding away at a problem with little regard for their language or surroundings. A mundane object like a faulty car engine or stubborn bit of lasagna cheese that won't be scrubbed off becomes enthralling. They are hyperfocused and immune to the outside world until the task is complete.
I should note that labels for neurodivergent folks are not fixed. The terms like "ADHD Primarily Inattentive" I'll be describing below are simply that which have been agreed upon by contemporary psychologists. They write what is essentially the holy bible of American diagnostic criteria, the DSM-V.
and other less pleasant terms.
Our minds could be said to be floating through a sea of thoughts. Often we miss crucial details when a subject is uninteresting or understimulating. We may struggle to sustain focus, forget important things, and feel overwhelmed when trying to organize their tasks, like a juggler who prefers picking up new objects every minute instead of trying to coordinate what's already in the air.
The second point is so on brand.
4th Grade. And being a female diagnosed so young in the 90s, I feel like I got lucky or I have it that bad.
After reading far too many reddit adhd memes that seemed way too personal, I went and got diagnosed about six months ago. I think I have processed all the loss and grieving and could-have-beens, and now I am trying to make some growth happen. I have had a lot of success with meds with dealing with adhd paralysis and anxiety, so now I am trying to start addressing behavior and making healthy patterns.
Still haven't. I always read these kinds of things wondering if I'll see any similarities but I also score relatively low on any sort of assessment I take about it, so I have no idea what's wrong or if there even is anything wrong.
I do cycle through hobbies for a few months at a time and dig quite deeply into them, only to run out of steam and then ignore them for half a year then come back refreshed and interested all over again. My attention does drift off mid-conversation unless I'm actively reminding myself to pay attention. I tend to start ambitious projects and get about halfway through, but then take a break and never come back to it. I can procrastinate on large projects very hard. I can occasionally get extremely focused on something for many hours, but I can't really predict when that will happen or why.
And that all sounds like some sort of ADHD, but there are plenty of counter-examples. I've never had issues showing up on time for things, I've never been late paying a bill, I almost never lose anything, and my digital assets and paperwork are unusually well-organized (both personal and at work). I have no problem remembering the tasks I should handle at work and only submit them to our team's planner for everyone else's benefit and record-keeping. I was successful in school and and I've always had great performance reviews. I'm also able to easily tune out external noises and happenings that would be very distracting to most people (though notably it doesn't require me to be focused on anything instead).
I guess the problem is that outside of do-or-die stuff at work I wish I could just convince myself to do things when I wish I would do them. Often I can't even convince myself to do fun things. If there's any possibility that it need not be done right now, I just have to wait until the tides of intrinsic motivation rise. And they will rise--can't tell you when, but they always do. They'll even stay up long enough for me to look like someone pretty responsible and put-together... but not long enough to finish larger personal projects or stick to anything that requires consistent repeated effort for more than a couple months.
Maybe that's just how people work? It's hard to make the case that it impacts my daily life because even though I'm sitting there frustrated that I can't just do something that would be obviously fun or useful or that I should be doing, from an external perspective I'm operating just fine when it counts. I feel like I spend a huge amount of my life just waiting around for motivation to finally hit, though.
I will say that this sounds extremely relatable to me, and I have an official diagnosis. But it may not necessarily be ADHD specifically -- it could be depression or some other issue instead. Regardless, though, this isn't just something that's normal for everyone, especially the bit about things you enjoy, and most people don't have to wait around for motivation to hit to that extent. Whether it's ADHD or not, I think visiting a therapist to discuss these issues would be really beneficial for you.
A month ago. I'd always suspected I had attention issues, but everytime I brought it up to my parents and/or doctor they told me I'm just being dramatic and that I'm actually just really smart (despite utterly failing every class I wasn't interested in). I'd always been strange and had trouble fitting in but from the outside I pretended everything was fine, so no-one really concerned themselves with me. This very quickly lead to me just telling myself I'm lazy and just have bad work ethic, instead of realizing that for me, trying to function like most people just isn't feasible.
It took booking a private psychiatrist pretty much behind my doctor's back to actually get a diagnosis. Ever since starting Ritalin I feel, well, more human. I walk down the street and I'm present instead of feeling disconnected from reality.
I haven't been formally diagnosed.
My psychologist is becoming increasingly frustrated with my inability to chase down a psychiatrist, sent me a two page list of ADHD specialists several months ago, but I haven't called any because I'm skilled at putting tasks off for literal years.
It's entirely possible that ADHD is what is preventing me from getting a diagnosis of ADHD.
I still haven't got it together to get assessed for it.
I am diagnosed autistic, and kinda attributed all my atypical patterns to that one bucket. But my partner has ADHD, and saw the tell-tales. Adopting her management strategies has been very helpful, even if we're not 100% that I have it. The hobby fixation treadmill is a big one too.
Also my sister was diagnosed with ADHD recently. She sent the paperwork from her GP to me so I could assist with the family-member assessment portion, figuring that I'd be more reliable and objective than either of our parents. I was very careful not to self-insert, when I found myself relating to nearly all of the questionaire I was answering for her.
I'm not going around saying I have ADHD without a professional diagnosis, I think that's iffy and risky, but I'd call it a well-founded suspicion. I've been planning on seeing a doctor about it for around two years, but executive function y'all.
Not sure how much reading you've done on ADHD, but fwiw it'd highly heritable. So if someone in your immediate family has it, that definitely adds to the well-foundedness of your suspicion imo.
I've found asking for help quite powerful in these situations, so maybe you can ask your partner to help arrange the first appointment. Maybe she can even to go with you as well.
Not formally diagnosed, but pretty sure I have it at this point, I certainly tick boxes with hyperfocus and blind spots in executive dysfunction.
A few years ago my girlfriend broke up with me (becoming my ex, that's how it works), and during the breakup she was saying some of the things that, I don't remember exactly what, either annoyed her or were things she thought I were negative in my life or something, and those things she described were all basically traits of ADHD. I can't sit still, I need to be fidgeting all the time, I can't focus on things sometimes, etc.
I talked to my friend, who was diagnosed with ADHD and takes medication (ritalin?) for it, and she was like "yeah I'm pretty sure you have it too". Took one of those online diagnoses quizzes (one from a real medical office, not just a buzzfeed one), and scored very strongly in favour of ADHD.
Certainly put things in to focus, made sense why I procrastinate on some things but then switch in to intense focus on others, and why I fidget so much and can't wait for people to finish their sentence (thinking I know what they're going to say before they say it), and executive dysfunction (not cleaning up, putting off doing things until a month later when suddenly I snap in to gear and organize my room, etc.).
My friend, if it's at all possible for you, get diagnosed. From the deepest recesses of my soul, please do it. Do it for yourself and for your future self. Hell, do it for your past self. If you have such a strong feeling that you in fact have ADHD, go to a doctor and get a prescription. It has been genuinely life changing for me.
For my own story, I'll share it as a reply to you so perhaps you get an idea how medication has helped me. My symptoms may not be the same as yours, but I think the message is still relevant. As well, not every person responds to every medication. I recommend the Ologies podcast two-parter on ADHD for in depth info about the disorder.
I was diagnosed as a kid, around age 10 or 11, and took medication until junior year of high school. For various reasons I stopped that year, and my parent never knew until well after I'd graduated. I promptly forgot I had ADHD. I dropped out of post-secondary, got nowhere with my interests, bounced around hobbies, and worked service industry jobs for nearly a decade. About four years ago I was reminded thanks to a phenomenally patient boss and internet memes. After moving countries and totally disassembling my life, I wound up lacking any responsibility, routine, or structure and it nearly cost me my otherwise successful marriage. One year later I'm medicated, back in school and succeeding, have started my own little business, and for the first time in my entire life feel like I'm thriving.
Medication may not work for you for many reasons, but if you have any means at all to do so please go see a doctor. I don't even know you, but I want you to succeed and thrive as I feel I have thanks to proper diagnosis and treatment.
The main thing I want to stress is the importance of advocating for yourself when seeking a diagnoses/treatment and how important it is, in my opinion, to show up to your Psychiatrist appointment prepared with examples from your childhood and present. However, I'll start with my own ADHD diagnosis origin story, but if you're interested in just my warning -- skip to the end.
I got diagnosed in my mid-40s due to: my kid getting diagnosed and my symptoms getting worse (perhaps related to starting perimenopause).
My brother had been diagnosed with ADHD as a child as he was hyperactive and struggled in school. I however did not have externally obvious symptoms and, since I did well in school, ADHD was never considered.
My struggle was mostly internal and where my parents knew about it -- they just thought I was too sensitive/dramatic. E.g., In high school, I could only start assignments the night before they were due after I first had a meltdown. That is also how I got through my first degree. Later, I learned many ways to cope and I passed/masked as neurotypical for decades, at least with coworkers who never saw the normal state of my house or other struggles.
Fast forward to my mid-40s when my kid got diagnosed and through research I learned of the inattentive type, that women are underdiagnosed, and that ADHD is highly heritable. And then I had a realization: my mother thought I was normal because she also most likely had ADHD! It's all she had ever known so of course it was normal to her.
The next step was talking to a Doctor and he did what many doctors do with women -- diagnosed me with depression (which I do have) despite me being adamant that ADHD was my concern as I was struggling at work and had just dropped a university course (for a 2nd degree I was working on -- hey but how can you have ADHD if you are working on a second degree, right? Meh.). And so when I finally got an appointment with a Psychiatrist, I was terrified I wouldn't be believed, or that if believed, he'd treat for depression first and we'd get to ADHD much farther down the road.
So I prepared for that appointment like it was a job interview. Knowing that my memory sucks and that I would probably be scattered and blank out when trying to answer questions, I brought written down examples from my childhood and the present. The other important thing I did is I explained that as I was in my 40s, of course I had decades to learn coping measures. And when answering any question, I provided an example from my childhood and also explained for the present my coping measures AND what happens if I didn't use those (like if I didn't set an alarm on my phone, etc.). I had also brought a print out of a research paper where I highlighted where it showed how women are underdiagnosed with ADHD compared to men.
In the end, all my fear was for naught as he ended up saying at the end of the appointment that my just showing him the list of alarms on my phone was enough. Well and perhaps the funny but not really funny joke of how I have to set my alarms to just one minute before a meeting starts as if I set it for longer -- that would often be enough time for me to get sidetracked and forget about the meeting! And thankfully he also said my ADHD should be treated first -- as dealing with the struggle of trying to function unmedicated was probably making my anxiety/depression worse! (Plus that antidepressant meds were more challenging to find a good fit due to their side effects being worse.)
So now the end - the warning
The reason for my warning -- is sometime after I was diagnosed, someone I know did a call with a Psychiatrist (was during the pandemic) and from talking with him it sounds like he blanked out on having examples from his childhood and he was just asked the 18 questions probably from here. Knowing him, I expect he gave one to two word answers. (Compared to my telling my psychiatrist two answers for each question -- one if I'm using coping measures and one if, for example, I forgot to set alarms on my phone. Plus I provided examples from childhood and the present for each.). He did not get a diagnosis and continues to struggle. :(
While I could agree with a counter-argument that you wouldn't want to prepare so much that you run a risk of convincing a Psychiatrist you have ADHD when you don't -- My Psychiatrist laughed when I told him that concern and said something like that's another symptom or something like that. (In that case he could have been referring to my anxiety which he also diagnosed though.)
In short, medical professionals are there to help you -- but they can't know what you don't tell them. So please prepare for your appointments -- especially if you have the lovely symptom from ADHD of being scatterbrained at times. :D
Omg, I can't explain enough how much I felt this for years. Because I held down a job and a 4 year degree I thought I must be nuerotypical. I thought I was just lazy. That job meant I was good, no matter the state of my house or how much I had to struggle to get stuff done.
At my job I could do well and my coworkers like me, but doing so was a huge struggle and my personal life was a mess. I think I was like you. No one else could see that so I seemed typical.
And because I seemed typical to other people I thought that meant I must be.
I still struggle with it, and with a low opinion of myself in general.
I'm so sorry that you went through that.
ADHD sucks at how it can make us feel like we are crappy at being functional humans especially if we try to live by neurotypical standards like working full-time, raising a kid, keeping a house clean, volunteering, exercising, cooking meals that take longer than 10 minutes...I'm exhausted just thinking of all of that.
At work I am either unsustainably productive or I feel quite unproductive and I don't get to choose which that will be. On 'good' days I'm generally hyperfocused on work, don't take breaks, and eat only because my partner brings me food. He will say I should take breaks, but I can't take breaks! If I take a break I may get back and then no longer be able to motivate myself or focus on work. Plus I feel I need to make up for being less productive the day before and sometimes I will work late as well.
So instead when I can work, I do all the things because I know it's fleeting even if it means I'll be feeling burned out after work and/or the next day. But related, just like the struggle to start a task, I also struggle to stop. This is my superpower when the task is work-related but not so much if I'm gaming excessively when other things need attention.
Regarding housework, the only way I've ever sustained that was for a few months pre-pandemic when I purposely had people come over every weekend -- people whom I wasn't comfortable unmasking with. So I consistently kept a clean house, but other things suffered and in the end the tradeoff wasn't worth it.
As a resource, I recommend the How to ADHD YouTube channel. Here's are some examples.
My situation is similar to C-Cab's comment. My symptoms are getting worse, bad to the point I gave up being able to hold and reproduce information or have elaborate conversations. I'm not sure if it's due to stress or aging. I quit my job to alleviate the first one and see if it gets any better. I went after a test, had to fill some forms, the psychotherapist said I scored something like 43 points, but it had to be 47 to be officially diagnosed with ADHD, so I'm on a limbo, where I have a lot of symptoms of ADHD but technically not, and I can't figure out what I have.
Maybe it would be good to get a second opinion. I don't necessarily think it's good to doctor shop, but if you have some sub-threshold ADHD medication could still do wonders for you. It might be good to emphasize it's been hard to focus on work.
Do you know what kind of test it was? Was is subjective like a questionnaire, or a computer based test (like the one with the clicker)?
There's been data to show that the computerized tests really aren't great at diagnosing ADHD. In my personal opinion it's a cop-out for doctors to pass of responsibility (liability as well?) to the test itself rather than their own judgement.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7100366/
P.S.
If it was a subjective questionnaire, it would be a good idea to go back in with someone who knows your really well (ideally someone who lives with you). Many times we aren't great judges of our own behaviors, and having an outside observer can provide a lot more insight.
I checked my email, the test is called Baars IV. It consisted of a few forms, maybe 3 or 4 with questions which I had to rate from 1 to 5. For example "do you fidget with your hands?". A quick Google shows that it's a reputable test that's commonly used to assess ADHD.
This is a great point. You see, rating things from 1 to 5 is subjective and can vastly differ from one individual to another. I don't think I rated myself 5 on anything because in my mind that's for extreme cases, but I don't know if the test expects the same evaluation. I do fidget with my hands, maybe a lot more than the average person, I've heard comments from friends and colleagues at work asked me to stop. Should that be a 5? I don't remember what I answered but today I feel like a 3.
I remember the doctor looking at my answers and saying something along the lines of "you don't even believe you have ADHD yourself". It's true that, if I do have something, I don't think I have it as bad. Certainly not an extreme case. So what if I'm just bad at dealing with my own mind? What if I'm just looking for an excuse? Maybe I should trust the assessment of a qualified person said and stop complaining to myself.
I don't remember the exact figures, but ADHD has a quite high comorbidity rate with autism. I'm not here to say one way or the other, just I've noticed a number of people mentioning ASD in this thread alone, and figured I'd make the point. I hope your diagnosis and treatment help :)
My parents tried to get me diagnosed in 6th grade. I didn't get the diagnosis primarily because I did quite well in school. I kept having adhd issues, but still did quite well until senior year. I have now been in college for many years with very little to show for it (mostly part time college with full time work). I finally decided to get a diagnosis and treatment through a telehealth service. I have only been on medication for a month, but it has been life changing. I am going to tackle a larger course load this fall semester than I have in years (still working full time too). I actually feel like I can be successful this semester. I have also been reconsidering many of my "personality traits", which I am realizing is just adhd.
I saw a post on mastodon that describes how I think I managed this long without a diagnosis. I think I always had high levels of stress and anxiety growing up. This stress and anxiety is what helped me to focus through my adhd. As an adult, I worked hard to remove stress and anxiety from my daily life. Without this, my adhd symptoms have flourished. I don't regret it, since I am still happier now than I have ever been, but my adhd symptoms have been getting worse for years.
I am also a very extreme introvert. I think my introversion and adhd interacted with each other so that I never had easily diagnosable adhd. As an adult I learned to manage introvert life in an extroverted world quite well. Now, with my medication, I am having to relearn these skills. I think that my adhd changed how I recharge and discharge my introvert energy.
I got lucky, my parents got me diagnosed in kindergarten or first grade so I was taking "gross blue pills" starting at age six. (By the way, if you have pills with a bad taste that can spread over your mouth, eat it with applesauce!) Since growing older and getting on the internet, I realize how fortunate I was because I'm a girl born in the 90s. And apparently many girls around that time had trouble getting diagnosed with ADHD and autism (which I also got diagnosed with) due to an annoyingly popular mindset of "girls can't have ADHD or autism". Might have helped I was very obviously in those categories.
Here's the weird side effect of being diagnosed with it so early though: I'm still learning what the heck stems from me having ADHD. I've always known about my dual diagnosis, so I never really felt the need to do full research the way that people do when they're diagnosed at an older age. Sort of like how if you grew up with a dog, you won't go out buying a book on dog care. I went to some special counseling as a kid, but it focused more around autism than ADHD. On that note, the overlap in symptoms probably adds to the confusion.
It's only in recent years that I realized that ADHD has the "hyper-fixate" component, I attributed that to my autism. Same for the light and sound sensitivity. One of the more interesting things I recently found out: "normal" people can't hear lightbulbs. We have one light bulb in our kitchen that's extra loud. I can also hear our TV itself when it's on. Fun fact, the electronic hum changes based on how bright the colors on the screen are. Yellow sounds particularly loud.
I was diagnosed when I was 18, in my first semester of college, all thanks to psychology 101.
As I listened to the professor describe ADHD I began to realize that the many failures I attributed to me simply being a bad person could be explained by this disorder. I spoke with the professor during his office hours and he gave me the validation I needed to go see a doctor.
The doctor confirmed the diagnosis and prescribed meds. Then I told my parents. That was... traumatic. My father spent spent about 2 hours berating me, telling me I couldn't blame my problems on ADHD, and that pills wouldn't fix my character flaws. I wasn't surprised, but I was hurt.
I wavered on and off medication for a while, but eventually came to terms with it thanks to the support of my wonderful spouse. Getting the right meds helped, but my mental health was still pretty horrible.
It wasn't until I was about 25 (I think? I'm bad at timelines) that I was also diagnosed with Bipolar, and learned that certain ADHD meds make bipolar worse if not taken alongside Bipolar meds, which explained some of my bad experiences over the years. The Bipolar diagnosis is what made the biggest difference in my life, and I'm incredibly thankful that things are so much better now.
I think my 2nd grade teacher told my mom I was doing well but had zero attention or organization skills, who was like "oh I don't know about that" and then my teacher showed my mom my crusty age-layered desk with old sandwiches I left behind and whatnot lol.
I got diagnosed, but as ADD before the predominantly inattentive type was the relevant classification. Have tried Ritalin, Strattera (worked for a bit), Buproprion, and some other thing over the last 20 years but haven't found the answer. After some thinking this week I realized that all the background noise in my head went away once when I was on a measly 1.25 mg of weed edibles and I'm wondering if my therapist can help me figure out something that might be similar. (Maybe just microdosing weed 24/7 at this rate...)
If you continue using 1.25mg of edibles to treat yourself, please proceed with caution. Your body will require higher and higher levels of the active ingredients (I suspect CBD) in order to remain effective, especially if you are taking it every day.
I'm medicated for ADHD using stimulants, but I had to stop the daily schedule. Meds were becoming less effective and the side effects when it wore off were brutal. Perhaps you could try balancing your tolerance by using the edibles to self-medicate in moderation?
Hope you find something that works well.
Oh god no I was joking, I haven't had weed around the house for a long while lol. But thank you, that definitely wouldn't actually work...
Ritalin didn't work right off the bat for me, straight-up made me cry for no reason; I'm wondering if there's some anxiety-driven physical symptoms that leave me kind of listless and lead to difficulty maintaining focus. Need to talk to my therapist about it.
When my parents pulled me out of school after 3rd grade when I was diagnosed, because they didn't believe it was real.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. No one can undo the damage done to you by them, but I hope you've managed to pull through despite it.
I just want to say that you're not alone. I was also home schooled by parents that were hostile about mental health.
If you still live with your parents: It may feel like the opportunity to leave home will never come, or is an eternity away, but you can do this. "Today is not forever". Do what you can to surround yourself with supportive people (online or IRL) that can encourage you through this hard time.
If you are out of your parents: The scars and influences don't go away overnight. Don't feel bad if/when you still struggle with negative thoughts and self doubt, but give yourself permission to deny those lies. Ground yourself in truth: You are not a failure, you are not a fraud, your challenges and struggles are real, and you will overcome them.
If at all possible look into getting some individual therapy/concealing. If cost is an issue you can usually find places that offer a sliding scale to reduce the cost.
I truly wish the best for you on this path, feel free to PM me if you have any questions or just need some support on a bad day.
I appreciate it, I didn't mean to come across as a victim. I do feel robbed of an actual education, but there's no point in making my parents feel guilty about it now. My entire purpose now is to make sure my daughter has a good upbringing and a great education, so that is good.