I don't know why I read this. I'm happily married so basically a non issue for me. I get that porn is the only reference point most men have, but I also know that make porn starts are basically...
I don't know why I read this. I'm happily married so basically a non issue for me.
I get that porn is the only reference point most men have, but I also know that make porn starts are basically just there to supply a giant, functioning cock and little else. I certainly never worried that mine wasn't as massive as a pornstar.
I guess I'm probably lucky to be an elder millennial. I grew up right before social media became a thing, so I assume that probably helped me avoid being fucked up on all this. I assume this is an extension of looksmaxxing. The part about caring about size over performance seems to reinforce that. I guess we should just add this to the ever growing list of reasons to ban social media, if not for everyone then at least for kids.
On being an elder millennial, I'm happy that in hindsight, the only place you'd get answers about dick size, cut, acceptability was from your friends or your partners face to face. You weren't...
On being an elder millennial, I'm happy that in hindsight, the only place you'd get answers about dick size, cut, acceptability was from your friends or your partners face to face.
You weren't reading authorless posts proclaiming to know everything, you weren't watching videos of people who look like your crush berating people like you for something you can't control.
Ultimately, you weren't alone in the same way. IRL is the key, GenZ. IRL is the key.
For what it's worth, as a hetero woman, the most satisfying sex I've had was with a guy who was smaller than most of the men I've been with. He was great at knowing how to read my signals and...
For what it's worth, as a hetero woman, the most satisfying sex I've had was with a guy who was smaller than most of the men I've been with. He was great at knowing how to read my signals and build the experience up, and it really didn't make much difference that he wasn't as big. If anything, the bigger guys can make it painful at times. I was really sad to read this and imagine all the insecurity that some guys are dealing with.
Cosigning this as a queer woman-ish. I've also never sat around and mocked men for their bodies with women as described here. This is entirely foreign to my experience. Have I discussed partners...
Cosigning this as a queer woman-ish.
I've also never sat around and mocked men for their bodies with women as described here. This is entirely foreign to my experience. Have I discussed partners with friends? Yes. But like not like that.
I've been mocked by (ex for a reason) partners. Literally have experienced pointing and laughing, and it feels like you'd expect. Thankfully, I have also had truly wonderful partners to...
I've been mocked by (ex for a reason) partners. Literally have experienced pointing and laughing, and it feels like you'd expect. Thankfully, I have also had truly wonderful partners to counterbalance the awfulness, but man, it's rough out there, and it sounds like it's even worse nowadays than it was when I was young.
Mostly it breaks my heart seeing people being so awful to one another.
Oh I've been treated horribly and mocked by exes and others and I don't doubt that there are horrible people in general, it's just not a universal "all women do this" experience and it felt worth...
Oh I've been treated horribly and mocked by exes and others and I don't doubt that there are horrible people in general, it's just not a universal "all women do this" experience and it felt worth noting.
Shitty people suck, assholes suck, but not letting that turn us bitter and cruel in return is the part we have control over.
Oh, most definitely. To be clear, I wasn't trying to counter anything you were saying, I agree with you. I've been lucky enough to have some absolutely amazing women in my life who would never,...
Oh, most definitely. To be clear, I wasn't trying to counter anything you were saying, I agree with you. I've been lucky enough to have some absolutely amazing women in my life who would never, ever be hurtful in this manner.
I agree emphatically and I reckon the effect of that kind of environment is subtle and lasts a long time. Once sunk in it really takes the sting out of appearance anxiety. I regularly spend time...
I agree emphatically and I reckon the effect of that kind of environment is subtle and lasts a long time. Once sunk in it really takes the sting out of appearance anxiety.
I regularly spend time in a sauna (shorts on but still around a lot of almost undressed people) and have been to numerous clothing optional festivals. The sauna gets all types but there's a much higher percentage of people who are young, work out a lot and take the right substances to look absolutely amazing (FTR I am in none of those categories) and I suspect if you were a 20 year old bloke and anxious about your body it might not be the place to be. Gyms might be even worse but I couldn't say for sure.
The festivals on the other hand... No one is there to work on their body, any kind of body you can think of you will see all of. Any age of body as well. In the end it stops being novel and bodies become a kind of average thing, mostly like the one you have. This happens even if you keep your clothes on. Then after four days in the bush without any way to really groom properly, any beauty routine anyone came with has long departed, which only adds to the leveling effect. I think everyone should go and do something like this at least three times in their twenties, we'd have a lot less body based bullshit in life.
So my best guess is that a Samantha-type is a sex and the city reference? Whatever the case, the article and this quote paints a picture of a bunch of dudes who have no sense of what average dicks...
A girlfriend, a sexually active Samantha type, recently observed to me that men have gotten so sensitive that you can’t even compliment their size anymore.
“They see all these gigantic dicks in porn, and 50 percent of the time if I say ‘Your dick is so big,’ they just get insecure.”
Last year, a man screamed “You’re lying!” and left the bedroom when I did the same.
So my best guess is that a Samantha-type is a sex and the city reference?
Whatever the case, the article and this quote paints a picture of a bunch of dudes who have no sense of what average dicks look like, and what it leads me to wonder is what do locker rooms look like these days? I have a young family, so I haven't used pool dressing rooms for ages.
Do guys still just get naked in a big room? Are there far more people changing within their towels?
It's there, at hot springs and other similar spots where as a young kid, I got a sense for what the gamut of dicks was, and the lesson was that they're all weird looking, varied in pube plume and size, but that there wasn't a crazy variance, and after you've seen it all once, it fades into the background.
Like I said above, I'd ask anybody feeling uncomfortable or shy about their own to just get naked in a public change room and mind your own business. See who among the people there care.
I’m going to agree with the common opinion here. The solution to this is to renormalize men being naked together. I had horrible body image issues. Heck, I still did. But do you know the thing...
I’m going to agree with the common opinion here. The solution to this is to renormalize men being naked together.
I had horrible body image issues. Heck, I still did. But do you know the thing that has helped me out the most? Just taking a shower at the gym. I’m still changing under my towel because if I don’t I’d literally be the only one fully nude, but just being naked in a public space, even if in a way nobody will really see it, is incredibly freeing. All of those voices in my head full of self-doubt got quiet and I was able to start loving myself.
When it comes to dicks themselves I also thought I had a small one, but I recently was told that it was big. Boy did that blow my mind. If I stayed in my little box I would have thought that way for the rest of my life. But frankly even if I hadn’t been told that, I would have still been so much better able to cope with my insecurities by simply being honest and open about it.
Sorry, but this is absurd. The first time I've felt insanely objectified (and all manner of gross) is when I've visited a gay club with a "get naked to avoid paying the entry fee" deal. I suppose...
The solution to this is to renormalize men being naked together.
Sorry, but this is absurd. The first time I've felt insanely objectified (and all manner of gross) is when I've visited a gay club with a "get naked to avoid paying the entry fee" deal. I suppose I was mighty naive, but since I've already been a participant of naturist community for a while I didn't see a big deal. Even at the entrance there were plenty of comments regarding my endowment and it only got worse from there (I suppose that's when I truly experienced feeling gross from supposed compliments). Do we agree that these are definitely men used to seeing other men naked?
Every girlfriend I've had commented on it, and their exes in comparison, basically every hookup. I've seen my best buddy (who "isn't so lucky", but doesn't give a hoot himself) get mistreated by women over it, with some attempt to hide the reaction sure, but it's there. But you don't need to take my word for it, because "small dick energy" or "compensating" are socially acceptable insults whereas even something like "bitch" isn't. See also making fun of men's height. I don't know why every single time any such topic is discussed, womens' role in it is just completely ignored. I don't think porn and male nudity comfort level are the main issue, I think womens' reactions are and at this point frankly I really want women to take responsibility for something happening in western society.
Additionally, this topic (among other things) really made me sure that progressives really do not care about cis males, like at all, and it's free game to be sexist against them. I see this in queer/LGBT communities all the time, but nobody can ever speak up about it.
Sorry for kind of stealing the conversation and ranting about my own personal stuff, I might be a bit too emotional about this.
Porn has gotten a lot more ubiquitous for young people. They're watching more of it and at a younger age than they did even 10 years ago. An interesting development is that young women are...
Porn has gotten a lot more ubiquitous for young people. They're watching more of it and at a younger age than they did even 10 years ago. An interesting development is that young women are watching much more porn than before, which now makes men victims of the porn-induced expectations that used to only primarily affect women.
It also seems that porn has gotten more extreme than it was relatively recently. I don't know if it's consumers or the companies pushing it, but you see more members that are clearly prosthetic or surgical. Even on the amateur side, it's gotten more extreme. A solidly above average guy, according to the studies, would be tiny if porn, either professional or amateur, were your only reference.
I don't know why I read this. I'm happily married so basically a non issue for me.
I get that porn is the only reference point most men have, but I also know that make porn starts are basically just there to supply a giant, functioning cock and little else. I certainly never worried that mine wasn't as massive as a pornstar.
I guess I'm probably lucky to be an elder millennial. I grew up right before social media became a thing, so I assume that probably helped me avoid being fucked up on all this. I assume this is an extension of looksmaxxing. The part about caring about size over performance seems to reinforce that. I guess we should just add this to the ever growing list of reasons to ban social media, if not for everyone then at least for kids.
On being an elder millennial, I'm happy that in hindsight, the only place you'd get answers about dick size, cut, acceptability was from your friends or your partners face to face.
You weren't reading authorless posts proclaiming to know everything, you weren't watching videos of people who look like your crush berating people like you for something you can't control.
Ultimately, you weren't alone in the same way. IRL is the key, GenZ. IRL is the key.
For what it's worth, as a hetero woman, the most satisfying sex I've had was with a guy who was smaller than most of the men I've been with. He was great at knowing how to read my signals and build the experience up, and it really didn't make much difference that he wasn't as big. If anything, the bigger guys can make it painful at times. I was really sad to read this and imagine all the insecurity that some guys are dealing with.
Cosigning this as a queer woman-ish.
I've also never sat around and mocked men for their bodies with women as described here. This is entirely foreign to my experience. Have I discussed partners with friends? Yes. But like not like that.
I've been mocked by (ex for a reason) partners. Literally have experienced pointing and laughing, and it feels like you'd expect. Thankfully, I have also had truly wonderful partners to counterbalance the awfulness, but man, it's rough out there, and it sounds like it's even worse nowadays than it was when I was young.
Mostly it breaks my heart seeing people being so awful to one another.
Oh I've been treated horribly and mocked by exes and others and I don't doubt that there are horrible people in general, it's just not a universal "all women do this" experience and it felt worth noting.
Shitty people suck, assholes suck, but not letting that turn us bitter and cruel in return is the part we have control over.
Oh, most definitely. To be clear, I wasn't trying to counter anything you were saying, I agree with you. I've been lucky enough to have some absolutely amazing women in my life who would never, ever be hurtful in this manner.
Archive
if you're concerned about this stuff, go to a nude beach and free yourself.
I agree emphatically and I reckon the effect of that kind of environment is subtle and lasts a long time. Once sunk in it really takes the sting out of appearance anxiety.
I regularly spend time in a sauna (shorts on but still around a lot of almost undressed people) and have been to numerous clothing optional festivals. The sauna gets all types but there's a much higher percentage of people who are young, work out a lot and take the right substances to look absolutely amazing (FTR I am in none of those categories) and I suspect if you were a 20 year old bloke and anxious about your body it might not be the place to be. Gyms might be even worse but I couldn't say for sure.
The festivals on the other hand... No one is there to work on their body, any kind of body you can think of you will see all of. Any age of body as well. In the end it stops being novel and bodies become a kind of average thing, mostly like the one you have. This happens even if you keep your clothes on. Then after four days in the bush without any way to really groom properly, any beauty routine anyone came with has long departed, which only adds to the leveling effect. I think everyone should go and do something like this at least three times in their twenties, we'd have a lot less body based bullshit in life.
So my best guess is that a Samantha-type is a sex and the city reference?
Whatever the case, the article and this quote paints a picture of a bunch of dudes who have no sense of what average dicks look like, and what it leads me to wonder is what do locker rooms look like these days? I have a young family, so I haven't used pool dressing rooms for ages.
Do guys still just get naked in a big room? Are there far more people changing within their towels?
It's there, at hot springs and other similar spots where as a young kid, I got a sense for what the gamut of dicks was, and the lesson was that they're all weird looking, varied in pube plume and size, but that there wasn't a crazy variance, and after you've seen it all once, it fades into the background.
Like I said above, I'd ask anybody feeling uncomfortable or shy about their own to just get naked in a public change room and mind your own business. See who among the people there care.
I bet nobody will.
I’m going to agree with the common opinion here. The solution to this is to renormalize men being naked together.
I had horrible body image issues. Heck, I still did. But do you know the thing that has helped me out the most? Just taking a shower at the gym. I’m still changing under my towel because if I don’t I’d literally be the only one fully nude, but just being naked in a public space, even if in a way nobody will really see it, is incredibly freeing. All of those voices in my head full of self-doubt got quiet and I was able to start loving myself.
When it comes to dicks themselves I also thought I had a small one, but I recently was told that it was big. Boy did that blow my mind. If I stayed in my little box I would have thought that way for the rest of my life. But frankly even if I hadn’t been told that, I would have still been so much better able to cope with my insecurities by simply being honest and open about it.
Sorry, but this is absurd. The first time I've felt insanely objectified (and all manner of gross) is when I've visited a gay club with a "get naked to avoid paying the entry fee" deal. I suppose I was mighty naive, but since I've already been a participant of naturist community for a while I didn't see a big deal. Even at the entrance there were plenty of comments regarding my endowment and it only got worse from there (I suppose that's when I truly experienced feeling gross from supposed compliments). Do we agree that these are definitely men used to seeing other men naked?
Every girlfriend I've had commented on it, and their exes in comparison, basically every hookup. I've seen my best buddy (who "isn't so lucky", but doesn't give a hoot himself) get mistreated by women over it, with some attempt to hide the reaction sure, but it's there. But you don't need to take my word for it, because "small dick energy" or "compensating" are socially acceptable insults whereas even something like "bitch" isn't. See also making fun of men's height. I don't know why every single time any such topic is discussed, womens' role in it is just completely ignored. I don't think porn and male nudity comfort level are the main issue, I think womens' reactions are and at this point frankly I really want women to take responsibility for something happening in western society.
Additionally, this topic (among other things) really made me sure that progressives really do not care about cis males, like at all, and it's free game to be sexist against them. I see this in queer/LGBT communities all the time, but nobody can ever speak up about it.
Sorry for kind of stealing the conversation and ranting about my own personal stuff, I might be a bit too emotional about this.
Share all you want, man! Ment things can be true, felt and experienced all at once.
Being naked in a locker room is very different from being naked in a club. A club is a very sexualized environment.
Porn has gotten a lot more ubiquitous for young people. They're watching more of it and at a younger age than they did even 10 years ago. An interesting development is that young women are watching much more porn than before, which now makes men victims of the porn-induced expectations that used to only primarily affect women.
It also seems that porn has gotten more extreme than it was relatively recently. I don't know if it's consumers or the companies pushing it, but you see more members that are clearly prosthetic or surgical. Even on the amateur side, it's gotten more extreme. A solidly above average guy, according to the studies, would be tiny if porn, either professional or amateur, were your only reference.