What gets you out of bed?
Responsibilities can be hard sometimes. Sometimes, we aren't acknowledged for our efforts.
What gets you out of bed? What's the narrative you have with yourself as you stare at the ceiling as your alarm jingles? On a side note: What your alarm sound? Is it as brutal as a bullhorn? Or do you prefer something calm, like trickling water?
Related: How do you prefer to be acknowledged at home or compensated at work? Do financial incentives get you going or do you prefer thoughtful gifts or do you look forward speaking with a coworker you get along with?
I've had 3 "adult" jobs. With each job, I've been getting less and less financial compensation (yeah, I know, I'm going the wrong way!). However, with every job, I'm getting happier/more content. I'm not sure if it's related to the financial compensation or just me learning more about myself. I remember working 24/7 at my highest compensation. I had to have my work phone on me at all times, getting phone calls at any time of day (coworkers) and night (contractors). At my second "adult" job, I found that my interpersonal relationship with my coworker(s) made me happier. I'd get out of bed and say "oh, can't wait to tell 'x' about this dream I had" or a new recipe I tried. It also helped that my second job was something I found important (I was an engineer who worked on reducing energy and water consumption for apartment complexes), and the majority of my coworkers felt the same. The job I'm currently in falls right in line with what I studied in school. I work for a consultant company in the wastewater infrastructure field. I'm happy to even have gotten this opportunity. I see it as very important. However, since I work in the field of poo, many of my coworkers and contractors I work with seem very jaded and only has financial compensation in mind. It's hard to be surrounded by that type of attitude. One coworker mentioned that "it's not like people want to work in sewage" and I said "actually, I studied it in school. I just never was able to get my foot in the door until now and I feel lucky that it happened." Don't get me wrong, the work is hard and there are days one gets exhausted and it ALWAYS stinks. But it's important. It effects the health of people and the environment if it isn't done right. Yeah, I'm rambling. I'm just trying to say I thrive off the attitude of people around me. Interpersonal relationships, for me, are better than financial compensation. Don't get me wrong.. pay me fairly, but I'm not going to be bummed if I don't get a huge raise every year. The pay check doesn't get me to work, the people do.
Dogs are seriously the best. I know it's to the point of cliche to say, "We don't deserve dogs," but honestly it's kind of true -- but because dogs are the purest good love, not because of any fault of ours.
Say hi to your dogs for me :)
Have a good walk!
People keep saying this as if it's a truism, but I haven't observed it in the dog I live with and care for.
I've been living with my housemate and his dog for over 3 years.
In that time: I feed the dog about 12 out of 14 meals per week; I walk him just about every day (except when it's raining or too hot, but I even walk him when it's freezing outside); I throw his toy in the backyard a few times every day; I hose him down when it gets hot in Summer; I put his jacket on when it's cold at night; I give him treats (which I buy, not my housemate); and so on. Now that he's getting old, I even drive him to the park, so he can enjoy the park without getting worn out by the walk there & back.
Meanwhile, my housemate feeds him 2 out of 14 times per week, accompanies us on our walks once a week, and... that's about it.
I'm the one who points out when the dog is feeling bad. I'm the one who noticed when the dog was losing weight. I'm the one who spends time with the dog.
As far as the dog is can see, I'm his primary caregiver. I've noticed he looks to me more than to my housemate, and he obeys me quicker than my housemate. In effect, after 3 years of caring for him and spending time with him, he has become my dog in all but name.
And what do I get in return?
I don't get cuddles. I don't get "kisses". I don't get company when I'm sad (I've tried). Every time I walk outside, all I get is his toy thrown at my feet for me to throw. That's it. He's not much different with my housemate - except that he doesn't throw the toy at my housemate (my housemate jokes that I'm the dog's "toy bitch").
The dog doesn't love me, he loves what I do for him.
I'm sorry that's been your experience -- while it's possible that it could be a result of the dog's interactions (or lack of them) earlier in life, it could just be his personality. I'm sure he still loves you though -- he looks to you for his care. I don't want to negate your experience here though, so I admit that I could definitely be wrong. I'm only speaking from my experience with dogs.
Don't be sorry. I don't expect a dog - any dog - to provide "unconditional love". (Nor a cat - which I also have similar experience with.)
I just think that people are projecting what they want to see onto their pets. The pets don't love their humans. They love what their humans do for them. And their humans interpret that as "unconditional love".
That's kind of making my point for me! :P
Hm, I see what you mean -- but then would you say that people can love, or do they only love what they do for each other?
This is starting to get a little philosophical, I like it!
If you want to get philosophical, I can't even prove that other people feel, let alone love! :P
All I can do is observe behaviour; I can't attribute motives or emotions to that behaviour. For instance, I can't say that a mother who rushes into a burning building to save her baby is motivated by love or duty or a biological imperative or something else. I can't say that a man who proposes marriage to a woman is motivated by love or family pressure or societal expectations or something else. I can't say that a pet owner who takes care of their dog is motivated by love or obligation or self-interest or something else.
However, I'm inclined to believe that people can love, without any expectation that the object of their affection will ever do something to earn that love. I've seen too much self-harming behaviour in the name of love (from making oneself miserable pining after someone who isn't available to the aforementioned rushing into a burning building) to think it's all just duty.
So, yes, people can love. I'm not saying that all behaviour labelled as "love" is actually love. In fact, I believe a lot of behaviour that people call "love" is not actually love. But at least some of it is love.
Fair enough. I think we'll just have to agree to disagree :)
I just prefer to believe people (and animals!) when they tell me they love me, in their ways.
I wanna snuggle your dogs now. Heroes the both of them <3
EDIT: is it weird if I ask you to snuggle them from me?
Honestly? Routine. That's all that gets me out of bed in the mornings. "Here we go again." Each day has a different routine (Mondays are different to Thursdays, and so on), but the weeks are all the same as each other (every Monday is the same, and every Thursday is the same). They all blur into each other. Each week is like a super-long day, and every week is exactly the same.
That, and the fact that it's more boring to stay in bed all day than to get up, where I'll at least have access to my computer, my television, and my books.
My work isn't interesting at all. I had my annual performance review this week, and as I told my boss and my boss's boss, it's not an interesting job. But it is stable, which is what I need most at this point in my life. It's even survived the pandemic and the lockdowns.
30 years ago, in an Organisational Behaviour subject in my university studies, I learned about one theory of motivation which said that people are generally motivated by one of these three factors: reward, achievement, recognition. I'm most motivated by achievement and least motivated by reward. I need to earn enough money to pay my bills but, beyond that, I don't really care about money. I'm more interested in making things and saying "I did that". However, my current job has minimal achievement possibilities. It's a routine job, which is pretty much the same thing, week after week after week after week. After 3 years, I'm bored. But I need a stable job, and I don't like change, and there are other circumstances which restrict my options, so I stay.
My co-workers, while mostly nice people, really aren't my type of folks at all. I get along with them for work purposes, but I wouldn't go out of my way to spend time with them in a social situation.
So I really have nothing to get up for, except for the fact that it's boring not to get up, work at least provides me with a distraction, and I need to work to earn money.
I know this feeling -- the thing that keeps me from really looking for something else is that my work is moderately interesting and I agree with the mission (I work for a public library), but I honestly don't know what would fulfill me the way the work-as-identity mythos says it should. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
The great tragedy of my life is that I found the work that fulfilled me and got to do it for a while, before it was then snatched away from me by circumstances beyond anyone's control. So now I live with the memory of what it's like to have fulfilling and challenging work, and the knowledge that I can never do that work again.
But, I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up until my mid-30s. It took that long for me to discover the career I'd been subconsciously looking for (the career also didn't really exist, except in embryonic form, when I was in my 20s). So maybe your dream job is still out there waiting for you to find it.
If you lived in a world where there was no COVID-19 and you could take any job that's within your skill and ability parameters, what would you be doing?
I would go back to Business Analysis. That was my dream career, which I had been unknowingly looking for all my life, before I finally found it in my mid-30s. I got to work in that career for about 7-8 years before my life changed and I couldn't any more.
May I go into another series of related questions?
You can ask. I don't promise to answer.
Maybe, if this going too off-topic for this thread, you should message me. (However, even in private, I don't promise to answer your questions.)
To save you some time: if it's the obvious question of why I don't work in my dream career any more, that's a question I won't answer.
Thanks.
I just want to know what drives you to this particular choice of field. What is it that excites you when you work with this sort of analysis? Is it the "analysis" part or the "business" part that makes you wanna pursue this type of work?
"Business analysis is a research discipline of identifying business needs and determining solutions to business problems."
"Business Analysis is the practice of enabling change in an organizational context, by defining needs and recommending solutions that deliver value to stakeholders."
Basically, someone in an organisation (whether that's a multinational corporation with 20,000 employees or a mid-sized company with 200 employees or a not-for-profit organsation with 20 volunteers) has a problem, and a Business Analyst is called in to:
a) investigate and identify the problem (often the real problem is not the same as the perceived problem);
b) research and suggest possible solutions;
c) assist in implementing the solution.
It's all "analysis"; the "business" is just the environment in which the analysis is done. In the past, this job was also known as a systems analyst or a process analyst or even a data analyst; the titles have changed over the decades as the career became more mature, and people figured out the job is about more than just fixing computer software.
I love it all: trouble-shooting, investigating, identifying the problem, researching solutions, implementing the chosen solution. One day, you're having a workshop with ten various workers, trying to find out what they think the problem is. Then you analyse the output of that workshop to figure out what the problem really is. The next day, you're diving into the guts of a computer system, trying to figure out what it actually does for the workers. Then you're analysing the difference between what the business and everyone in it needs in order to get their work done effectively and efficiently, and what the business and everyone in it is currently doing to get their work done - to work out what changes and solutions are needed to fill the gap ("gap analysis"). And so on.
It's very intellectually challenging, and stimulating, and interesting.
And it meets my need for achievement. I was making changes that improved people's working lives. My biggest achievement as a BA was to suggest, design, and help implement a software program which saved a company about $100,000 per month, and reduced the labour involved in those monthly processes by about 75%.
I didn't choose the field. It chose me. I was doing this sort of work in various ways and at various companies since my early 20s. Back in the early 1990s, the corporate department I worked in was given a PC (all work was being done on mainframe terminals), and the manager of the department handed it over to me to look at, because I just knew how computers worked and I would be able to figure out what this brand-new tool which noone had ever seen before could do for us. Even when I worked in fast food, I ended up helping to design a better order-taking computer! I just kept getting drawn back to this kind of work; it followed me everywhere I went. But Business Analyst didn't exist as a career choice, and I wasn't aware of its predecessors like Systems Analyst and Data Analyst. It wasn't until I was recruited to help a software project as a subject matter expert, and saw a Business Analyst at work, that I realised this was the career I'd always been subconsciously been drawn to. I was 34 at the time.
How would one get into such a career? How would you say it happens, from the position of your experience in the field? You did say how you got in, but is it the same path other business analysts you know got in? (I must admit, I'm asking partially out of personal interest: this sounds fascinating as a line of work.)
I honestly don't know how to get into this career. When I was active in networking and attended various professional conferences, I heard from most of my fellow Business Analysts that they stumbled accidentally into the career, just like I did. They had that little bit "extra" or "different" talent which made problem-solving a bit easier for whatever project they were working on. They could see problems that noone else could see, they could imagine solutions that other people couldn't think of, they could connect with workers in a way that their colleagues couldn't - so they got dragged in to do that bit extra to help the project run smoother. A lot of them weren't called Business Analysts, but they were effectively doing that work because it made the projects better.
Nearly 30 years ago, about the time I got sat in front of that PC and asked to work out what it could do for us, I used to think that there was a need for someone who could act as an "interpreter" between accounting nerds and computing geeks. I didn't know I was defining the career I would end up in, 15-20 years later!
Most BAs I knew came to it from a programming background, while only a few of us came from a business background - but being a Business Analyst requires much more knowledge about working environments and business processes than about coding. It's helpful if a BA can read computer code, but they never need to write a single line of code. It's more helpful if a BA knows how businesses operate and how people work. But, because a lot of business analysis work is associated with projects that build or improve software, it was only natural that most BAs were ex-programmers.
But that was a decade ago, and the career was still maturing. Just before I left the field, I heard of an Australian university that had started a Masters in Business Analysis - the first formal degree in Business Analysis in Australia. I suspect the career is now more mature, and the entry points better defined, than they were for me and my peers.
FYI: @MimicSquid
What I find funny about this is that in order to get into such a career, you have to already be doing the kind of work it requires. In other words, it's one of those problems for you to solve so you could solve problems professionally.
Wow. Thank you so much for writing this up and putting a name to it. This is exactly what I've been fumbling towards for years without knowing what it was called.
The urge to pee is the main thing that gets me out of bed. Attempting to maintain some semblance of routine is what keeps me out (and what gets me back in at the end of the day). Also, if I stay in bed too long my back starts to ache as my current bed ain't the best. So, even when I feel like I've earned a lazy day and want to lay down, flipping through crap on my phone...the pain will generally cause me to get up. ..where I'll flip through crap on my desktop.
I live alone, so I'm the only one who'll acknowledge me. Usually I'll catch myself shirtless in the mirror, flex, and wink. Maybe even blow a kiss, if I'm feeling particularly high on me.
Job-wise, well.. not an issue, currently. But a decent paycheck is 90% of what I need from a job. Having nice coworkers is a plus. Being recognized as a good worker is satisfying. Except when it's due to having to compensate for slackers. I'd rather they be admonished than me praised (unless the praise is in the form of a raise). Petty? I suppose. But, it becomes demoralizing to pull one's weight + the weight of others. A good manager/supervisor/lead should be able to spot this and correct it, though.
Oh, getting packages delivered is always a nice thing to look forward to.
I have a family member who worked in wastewater treatment! I really like your perspective on it and how you see it as helping a community. It's something very few people think about, but it's absolutely essential. We take it for granted in modern living.
Last year I transitioned to a wake-up lamp. I set a time I want to wake up by, and it slowly lights up the room in advance of that time, with an alarm then sounding at the desired time if I haven't yet turned it off. I find that it "eases" me out of sleep most days and is a lot less jarring than waking up to a sudden sound. More often than not I'm awake and turn off the alarm before it ever sounds.
Purpose, and other people. Having a job that I think contributes positively to the world, and working with people who believe the same. The job I have now pays 60% of what I made before, but it doesn't matter. I still live in the same house (because we bought a reasonable house, not the most house possible) and the budgets a little tighter, but I look forward to work every day now.
Because of the pandemic I have met only 2 of my 90ish coworkers in person though. I really look forward to the day I can be in an office again.
10000000 % true! Cooking works to bring me out of the darkest funk. Food is the medicine :)
Lately it's our 1 year old twins. We totally screwed up getting them to sleep in their nursery alone and kept them in our bedroom for way too long and now every single night I put them in bed with my wife and I at like 4am when they wake up and get woken up again at 8 or so by tiny little hands patting me on the back.
The upside is that they're the first thing I see when I wake up, which I wouldn't trade for the world. Nothing like a pair of adorable babies saying "dada" to make getting out of bed a little more palatable. I miss full nights of sleep and sleeping in though...god damn do I miss that.
My almost-two year old ends up in our bed most nights. He pretty reliably starts off in his room but at some point in the night he wakes up and one of us goes to get him because it's just easier. Having him in with us is really lovely - when he's not next to me I have real trouble sleeping, I keep waking up because I can't hear him breathing - and I'll be very sad when he no longer shares our bed. Waking up is a lottery though, it might be adorable little cuddles or it might be being hit in the eye with a book he'd like to have read to him.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he's starting to sleep longer and very rarely we get the utter delight of waking up before the child and lazing gently in bed while he snores quietly - today he slept until 7.30am, which feels so decadent compared to the 5-6am he usually wakes!
I miss sleeping but that time will come again. In a few years. On the plus side, being woken by a toddler is infinitely preferable to being woken by an alarm, which I absolutely hate - I just wish he'd do it a little later in the morning.
A 9am video chat with my mother. Due to the time zone difference, I have breakfast and she has lunch. Although lately, she has dessert, because I'm often a little late. After that we have a music lesson (she is learning to play melodica) and I play a few songs on accordion for her.
The fear of the suffering I will go through if I don't.
I'm currently studying and working part-time while juggling with health issues. Most days I don't want to do anything. I go to work mostly so I don't disappoint my employers, who I've known for a long time. I study so I can get the fucking piece of paper and get this over with. I will probably not end up working in the field I'm studying for or if I do I will do it because it relates to programming or math.
At the moment, nothing really. Ironically, I was reading this earlier in bed trying to find the energy to get up. Last 4 months been trying to finish my thesis with zero motivation and spending a lot of my savings in the process. It's super hard for me to work from home when I don't see any other people and just get distracted easily.
Should be graduating this month with my Masters in CS I still have no idea where I want to work or do, so I guess the uncertainty is just scary, and don't have clear goals for anything.. The main thing that keeps me going ATM is reading books in Japanese, where seeing my improvement makes me genuinely happy.
This is true for me as well, but not so much in a good way -- I don't get paid enough right now. :/
Right now it's Beethoven's Eroica, which always only plays the first few bars before I shut it off. I really like the trickling water idea though, I think I'm going to try it out!
OH SHOOT -- the actual question.
I get out of bed because it's daytime, on the weekends, or during the week, because I have to get ready and go to work. I don't really think about it -- sometimes I want to stay in bed and cuddle all day, but generally I get up because that's what you do.
The alarm. Once I'm awake, I will not fall back asleep, and if there's anything I need to do then I might as well get up and get to it.
Before this, well - money. I don't want to need it, but I don't think a communist revolution is going to happen any time soon, and until that time - well. I could take or leave my colleagues and students - I'm half-hoping I'll get called back to the same school, because they weren't bad, but I was really in it for a paycheck, for the independence that it translated to, and for the sanity that it allowed me to regain.
This thread should probably be locked to actual adults and people with real jobs and lives /s
As of right now, when the school broadcasts start at
2:302:00 P.M, most often my parents, needing to take a piss, the sunlight, my mouth/halit tasting terrible and pets. Usually I have my phone at arms' reach and charging, so I don't leave bed for that.When school is normal (a 15 minute walk away that you need to get to by 7 AM), an alarm clock or maybe the sunlight, but seasonal variation and needing to leave my bedroom door open, which I don't like.
"Well, shit"? It's not like I have a choice but to get up.
This ringtune, although I remember using this first, somehow.
I'm going to be honest, I was never this kid. I think the latest I ever got up was 12 or 1 pm, and that was when I went to bed at 4 am the night before. I kind of envied people who can sleep into the afternoon; it seems like a really impressive feat to me! There was a guy I worked at a camp with who on his one day off every three weeks would literally sleep the entire day until dinner time. I thought that was so impressive.
Whoops, you're talking to the wrong person because, even with all of this, I will probably wake up at 8:30 or 9 AM, 11 AM if I'm really lazy. I still want to have breakfast.
Oh! Nope, I just misunderstood -- I thought you were saying the school broadcasts starting at 2 were what woke you up, but you were saying that right now, since they start so late, your parents are who wake you up in the morning. Sorry for the misunderstanding!
Breakfast is the best meal of the day, I agree with you there!
I hate being in bed, so the second I wake up, I'm out.
Usually I wake up before my alarm because somebody shoots me a text and my phone makes a light beep. I hate it, but I am also thankful for it.
If my alarm does go off, it starts with music for half an hour before the actual wake up time, then Australian Google lady yells the weather and a few other commands to shuffle a Spotify playlist -- and I hate every second of it.
Every morning between 6:30 AM and 7:00 AM, our dog gets out of bed and scratches on the side because she wants her breakfast. Then she has to pee after she gets up. Fortunately, we get a square of grass delivered every so often that she uses to pee. However sometimes she has to poop which means I really have to get up and go for a walk.
This is every day. No matter what. Some days it is incredibly annoying, other times its nice to know I can automatically get up early now. I do miss sleeping in until 10:30 sometimes.
The need to pay bills to keep a roof over that ceiling and the wife at my side comfortable. The fantasy that the side projects and jobs I do might blossom to self sufficiency at some point so that I'm not having to answer to some soulless corporate overlord for eternity.
It's on the gentle side and is the default alarm clock noise provided by Nokia as it was better than all the other options.
At home: Gestures and statements of appreciation by my wife or friends depending on who the involved party may be.
At work: In cash or other monetary means. Awards, "thoughtful gifts", and coworkers don't pay the bills, provide for my hobbies, or are lasting in any useful measure; they are fleeting and easily replaced.
I really love eating.
Also a good game of checkers if there’s one willing and available for the morning treatment. It gets me in s good mood
Staying in bed has diminishing returns beyond stop point.