I feel like I'm the only one noticing this and it's driving me crazy. With everyone transitioning away from incandescent, it seems like anywhere you go now there are these blindingly bright and high color temperature LED lights. Of course, if LEDs are better and more energy efficient we should use them. But whenever I've tried buying LED bulbs, they've been consistently brighter and higher color temperature than the stated lumens and Kelvin. And a lot of times, it's just extremely difficult to find LED bulbs for certain shapes at a reasonable luminosity. Like our house uses a lot of BR30 bulbs that are supposed to be around ~400 lumens, but the lowest you can possibly find is 650.

I'm genuinely concerned what effect this is going to have on our shared spaces and even potentially our psychology/circadian rhythm. There's an especially egregious example on an important cultural street in the city, where there's this truly blinding light in a parking lot about a third the way from the edge to the center of the district that makes the entire immediate area extremely unpleasant to be in. Someone tell me I'm not crazy.

** I wrote this a few years ago using 'wiki-how to write a constitution' as my basic outline. As you can see, I never finished. I realized that this is not something that can or should be written as a singular person, and due to a lack of access to those who might find such a project interesting, albiet wholly theoretical, I never finsihed it. What you see at the bottom is the copy paste from the wiki how where I left off.

I don't know if any of y'all will find this interesting or worth editing and expanding with me, but I thought this would be an interesting place to put this and test the waters.

I tried really hard to figure out how to format this in tildes but I may have failed. Hopefully it's clear enough.

Here is the beginnings of a constitution I wrote for a hypothetical expeirmental community: **

We, the citizens of this community, in order to enact the willful abandonment of all other governing bodies and establish an independent mode of community-organization and self-rule, do ordain and establish this constitution for the government of our association.

Article I:

Section 1:

The name of this community shall be {}, hereafter referred to as ‘the community.’

Section 2:

The Heads of the community shall make up the ruling body of {}, hereafter referred to as ‘Those Responsible.’

Article II:

Section 1:

the purpose of this community is to establish and maintain a self-sustaining and self-perpetuating place and manner in which to live and live well, outside and beyond the current social paradigms subject to political, military, monetary, or any and all other coercive forms of power and control, including but not limited to all other authoritative bodies either public or private. This community intends to act as a sustaining reservoir and dispensary for human knowledge and creative culture. This community aims to secure a manner of human cohabitation and relation founded upon unconditional love and mutual respect for self, others, and the land.

Section 2:

Those Responsible shall ratify, guide, lead, and organize all actions of the community towards the aims of self-sustainability, cohabitation, co-creation, and social evolution, foremost and always with a prime consideration for all the offspring of the community in mind, whether of direct biological relation or otherwise. Those Responsible are tasked with representing and upholding the example and execution of communion and action under the fundamental philosophy of unconditional love and mutual respect for self, others, and the land. Those Responsible are beholden to the task of observing and evaluating the exact realities faced by the community at any given point in time, and in view of that Those Responsible are required to coordinate all community efforts in appropriate response to the imminent needs of the citizenry and the land.

Article III:

Section 1:

The general body of the community will be comprised of Citizen Families of no less than two adults and no more than ten adults, and all of their accompanying children and creature companions. In order to gain membership into the community a Citizen Family must be endorsed by a Family Head already a part of the community, and voted in unanimously by all Those Responsible. Appeals can be made and cases reassessed as depends on the situation, but finalization of familial citizenship requires the unanimous consent of all and every current Citizen Family through representative vote.

Section 2:

the privileges and responsibilities of every individual citizen, those granted to the Citizen Family, and those allowed to the community as a whole include but are not limited to:

Individual rights:

The right to appropriate understanding and care from family and community in times of physiological, psychological, and/or theological need due to age, injury, mental or bodily transition, trauma, or illness.
The right to formally express grievance, great or small, to all grievous parties with the option of third party witness with previously established all party agreement on third party power of decision-input and sway.

The right to request and expect communion with specific individuals, the family whole, or the community at large for a specified time within the confines of the boundaries and privacy requested.

The right to request and expect celebration with specific individuals, the family whole, or the community at large for a specified time within the confines of the boundaries and privacy requested.

The right to give and receive without incurring debt.

Sufficient and sustainable food, shelter, and water, tailored to the individual needs of each citizen, with consideration insofar as possible to individual ability, desire, and proclivity.

Free access to all available community physical, psychological, and theological health resources and programs without bias to reason or cause.

Free access to all available community infrastructure, resources, and technologies insofar as it does not impede the well being of any other, the land, or the community at large.

Freedom of thought and expression and access to public outlet insofar as no permanent physical or psychological damage incurs.

Free access to all available information and means to education. Freedom of inquiry into all intellectual matters and free permission to explore all avenues of discovery not leading to permanent physical or psychological damage.

Full liberty of movement without untoward monitoring, self-delegation of personal time and energies beyond regulated family and community requirements and tasks, and a right to mental, physical, and spiritual regulation and privacy.

The right to call for a family or community hearing and action for whatever reason, and to expect due diligence in response to such a call.

The right to dictate placement, care and use of any personal property of which one is responsible for maintenance, re-purposing, and proper disposal.

The right to anonymity in all voting processes.

The right to vote on family leadership through unanimous consensus of all eligible family members.

The right to vote on family projects and endeavors through unanimous consensus of all eligible family members.

The right to decide the vote for the Heads on community projects through unanimous consensus of all eligible family members.

The right to decide the vote for the Family Head on the delegation of communal resources through unanimous consensus of all eligible family members.

The right to decide the vote for the Heads on all constitutional amendments through unanimous consensus of all eligible family members.

The right to request personal advocacy and counsel from outside the immediate family grouping in regards to internal family affairs.

The right to third-party mediation and safe sanctuary in times of unresolved conflict.

The right to propose projects for personal or community benefit, and to solicit the needed resources and work from the community at large.

The right to apply for membership in a different Citizen Family from their own, or to apply for the establishment of a new Citizen Family, without untoward consequences despite affirmation or denial of said application, and with the understanding that individual membership is restricted to a single Citizen Family.

The right to personal emancipation from the community in full for whatever reason, and the grant of sufficient supply of basic needs from the community, per the requirements of the current social paradigms, for the most benevolent and efficient plan and execution of exit.

Citizen family rights:

the right to family residence sufficient to the exact needs of the individual family and its members, with consideration to ability, preference and proclivity insofar as possible, and full dominion over space, design, and utility of family residence.

The right to equal representation in the community by an internally elected Family Head, Auxiliary Head, and Junior Head (a.k.a. The Heads).

The right to represented vote on all community affairs including but not limited to adoption of new Citizen Families, allocation of community resources, constitutional amendment, foreign affairs, military action and defense, and the introduction and use of new technologies and materials.

The right to volunteer or withhold labor from any non-essential community effort.

The right through the unanimous vote of all eligible family members to excommunicate individual members due to permanent physical or psychological damages to the family.

The right to handle internal family affairs as seen fit insofar as no permanent physical or psychological damages incur, and without rebuke so long as such affairs have no significant impact on community production or well being.

The right to confidentiality and privacy in personal family matters despite possible recruitment by one or more individual for external representation.

Community rights:

The right to excommunicate whole Citizen Families per Family Head and Auxiliary Head’s unanimous vote, excluding the family in question, in the event of permanent physical or psychological damages to the community.

The right to enact emergency measures in times of crisis per Family Head’s unanimous vote, including but not limited to the overrule of individual or familial privacy and individual or familial propriety over labor and resources.

The right to purchase or acquire additional lands and resources from outside the community per Family Head and Auxiliary Head’s unanimous vote.

The right of the Arbiters to oversee and mediate conflict between Citizen Families.

The right of the Heads to demand, organize and enforce labor and resources from all citizen families for the sake of community sustainability and well-being.

Individual responsibilities:

Primary responsibility for self care, self direction, self advocacy, and self representation in all matters related to personal development and involvement.

Responsibility to family wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of self, others, the land, or the community at large.

Responsibility to community wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of self, others, the land, or the Citizen Family.

Responsibility to fulfill all necessary labor requirements of family and community as per the changing requirements of sustainability and growth.

Responsibility to the land and its well being.

Responsibility to teach, care for and nurture all children and creature companions of the community whether or not blood related, insofar as it does not impede the well being of self, others, and the land.

Responsibility, insofar as it does not impede personal well being or privacy, to share all knowledge and resources within one’s possession and ability with any other citizen upon their request.

Responsibility to critically seek out knowledge and understanding of the current affairs and concerns of the Citizen Family and the community at large, and thereby cast vote based upon study and reason rather than selfish motive or emotional appeal.

Citizen Family responsibilities:

Prime responsibility for the care, representation and advocacy of the Citizen Family in all matters related to familial development and involvement.

Responsibility to individual wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of the family, individual citizens, others, the land, or the community.

Responsibility to community wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of the family, individual citizens, others, the land, or the community.

Responsibility to organize and deploy all labor requirements of the family as per the changing requirements of sustainability and growth.

Responsibility to fulfill all necessary labor requirements of the community as per the changing requirements of sustainability and growth.

Responsibility to the land and its well being.

Responsibility to teach, care for, and nurture all children and creature companions of the community whether or not blood related, insofar as it does not impede the well being of the family, individual citizens, others, and the land.

Responsibility, insofar as it does not impede familial well being or privacy, to share all knowledge and resources within the family’s possession and ability with any other citizen or Citizen Family upon request.

Responsibility to critically seek out knowledge and understanding of the current affairs and the concerns of individual members and the community at large, and thereby cast vote based upon study and reason rather than selfish motive or emotional appeal.

Responsibility to gather weekly all citizens of the family to report, evaluate, vote upon, and organize action for all family interests and concerns.

Community responsibilities:

Prime responsibility for the care, representation and advocacy of the community in all matters related to community development and involvement.

Responsibility to individual wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of the community, individual citizens, Citizen Families, others, or the land.

Responsibility to Citizen Families’ wants, needs and concerns, insofar as they do not impede the well being of the community, individual citizens, other Citizen Families, others, or the land.

Responsibility to organize and deploy all labor requirements of the community as per the changing requirements of sustainability and growth.

Responsibility to the land and its well being.

Responsibility to acquire, establish, organize, and maintain resources, infrastructure, and continuing education for the benefit of all citizens and Citizen Families.

Responsibility, insofar as it does not impede the community’s well being or privacy, to share all knowledge and resources within the community’s possession and ability with any citizen or Citizen Family upon their request.

Responsibility to critically seek out knowledge and understanding of the current affairs and concerns of individual members and all Citizen Families, and thereby organize all community efforts based upon study and reason rather than selfish motive or emotional appeal.

Responsibility to establish and maintain a means for citizens and Citizen Families to continuously participate and vote in all community endeavors and affairs through representation by the Heads or directly through survey and ballot.

Responsibility to organize and execute community outreach and relations with outside governments and organizations insofar as it does not impede the well being of citizens, Citizen Families, the community at large, or the land.

Responsibility to gather and allocate shared resources for the procurement and establishment of a new community on tenable land any time that the current community reaches maximum capacity.

Responsibility to establish and maintain co-beneficial relations and exchange, including relief efforts in times of crisis, with all extended communities whether or not directly derivative from the immediate community insofar as possible.

Responsibility to organize resources and efforts for the defense and rebuilding of the community when faced with internal or external aggression or biological or climate catastrophe.

Responsibility to procure and dispense all technological, medical, or otherwise necessary resources not internally available but required by a citizen or Citizen Family for their continued well being.

Responsibility to provide requested transportation and the means to initial basic survival, per the requirements of the current social paradigms, for any citizen looking to emancipate from the community and reenter the world at large.

Responsibility to provide and organize opportunities for travel to all citizens, upon request yet within community ability and reason.

Responsibility to gather weekly all Those Responsible to report, evaluate, and organize action for all voted upon community interests and concerns.

Responsibility to organize and coordinate weekly community celebration insofar as it does not impede the immediate needs of the community.

Responsibility to establish and maintain a central garden sanctuary for silent meditation, worship and reflection, open to all citizens at any time.

Responsibility, insofar as the community is able, to take in, protect, and provide for the basic necessities of any individual seeking asylum from the outside world, insofar as they adhere to the laws, customs, and requirements of the community, and within the agreed amount of time voted upon by Those Responsible in a case by case basis.

Section 3:

Membership may be revoked via a unanimous vote by the Family and Auxiliary Heads due to irrevocable physical or psychological harm to an individual, Citizen Family, the community at large, or the land. Membership shall be open to all those vetted and unanimously voted in by the Family and Auxiliary Heads regardless of age, creed, race, color, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, socioeconomic status, disability, national origin, or status as a veteran. This list is not exhaustive.

Article IV:

Section 1:

Family meetings run by the Family Head will be held weekly, or as otherwise decided upon by majority vote within the family in order to discuss any general family business, upcoming and continuing family and community projects, and any other pressing comments or concerns of its members.

All Heads within a family shall weekly meet with each other to gather, discuss and organize all current concerns to be addressed in the next family meeting.

Community meetings composed of all Heads and run by the current Arbiters selected quarterly from the Heads by all Those Responsible will be held weekly in order to evaluate and coordinate all community efforts past, continuing, or new.

Each separate group of Heads from every family shall meet weekly in order to gather, discuss and organize all current concerns of their constituents to be addressed in the next community meeting.

Any individual can call for an auxiliary family or community meeting run by the Head of their choice or one of the current Arbiters at any time and for any reason and will be granted such a meeting within 72 hours of the request.

Section 2:

All policy decisions within the Citizen Family shall be voted upon by all family members of any age or identification who capably understands and willingly ratifies via signature the constitution of the community. Each voting citizen is allowed one vote. For sanctioned approval, all Citizen Family policy decisions require a unanimous vote. Family voting shall be counted and tallied by the Family Head.

All policy decisions for the community at large shall be voted upon by all Heads inline with the vote of their constituents. Each Head is allowed one vote. For sanctioned approval all community policy decisions require a unanimous vote by all Heads. Community voting shall be counted and tallied by the current Arbiter.

All voting shall be done anonymously, and no decision can be ratified without a submitted ballot from all voting parties.

Article V:

Section 1:

The community shall have the following officials:

One Family Head per Citizen Family. Any family member aged fifteen or older who has already ratified the constitution is eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited, any eligible family member can be nominated by any other family member. Selection must be voted upon annually and requires a unanimous vote by all eligible voters within the Citizen Family.

One Auxiliary Head per Citizen Family. Any family member aged fifteen or older who has already ratified the constitution is eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited, any eligible family member can be nominated by any other family member. Selection must be voted upon annually and requires a unanimous vote by all eligible voters within the Citizen Family.

One Junior Head per Citizen Family. Any family member below the age of fifteen who has already ratified the constitution is eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited any eligible family member can be nominated by any other family member. Selection must be voted upon annually and requires a unanimous vote by all eligible voters within the Citizen Family.

One Arbiter of the community. All Family Heads are eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited any Family Head can be nominated by any other Head. Selection must be voted upon quarterly and requires a unanimous vote by all Heads within the community.

One Auxiliary Arbiter of the community. All Auxiliary Heads are eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited any Auxiliary Head can be nominated by any other Head. Selection must be voted upon quarterly and requires a unanimous vote by all Heads within the community.

One Junior Arbiter of the community. All Junior Heads are eligible for election. Whereas campaigning is prohibited any Junior Head can be nominated by any other Head. Selection must be voted upon quarterly and requires a unanimous vote by all Heads within the community.

Section 2:

The duties of these officials are as follows:

Family Heads:

Responsible for tallying family vote taken during family meetings.

Responsible during all community meetings for representing fairly and impartially their own Citizen Family’s needs and affairs expressed through an internally decided vote.

Responsible during all family meetings for representing community needs and affairs fairly and impartially.

Responsible for community representation and outreach in the world at large.

Responsible for leading the community in its continued sustainability and growth through the organization of community projects and the establishment of new communities when need arises.

Auxiliary Heads:

Responsible during all community meetings for representing fairly and impartially family land and resource needs and affairs expressed through an internally decided vote.

Responsible during all family meetings for representing community land and resource needs and affairs fairly and impartially.

Responsible for advising the Family Head, and taking on the duties of the Family Head in times of their temporary absence, and organizing the vote for instating a new Family Head upon the current Family Head’s inability to continue in their duties.

Responsible for leading the community in its continued sustainability and growth through the organization of community projects and the establishment of new communities when need arises.

Junior Heads:

Responsible during all community meetings for representing fairly and impartially the community youth and creature companion’s needs and affairs expressed through an internally decided vote.

Responsible during all family meetings for representing fairly and impartially their family youth and creature companion’s needs and affairs expressed through an internally decided vote.

Responsible for advising both the Family and Auxiliary Heads, and studying the methods, tasks and duties, undertaken by the Heads and Arbiters.

Arbiter:

Responsible for tallying community vote during all community meetings.

Responsible for mediating upon request.

Responsible for running Family Head meetings and co-running community meetings.

Auxiliary Arbiter:

Responsible for mediating upon request.

Responsible for running Auxiliary Head meetings and co-running community meetings.

Responsible for taking on the duties of Arbiter in the current Arbiter’s temporary absence, and organizing the vote for instating a new Arbiter upon the current Arbiters inability to continue in their duties.

Junior Arbiter:

Responsible for mediating upon request.

Responsible for running Junior Head meetings and co-running community meetings.

Section 3:

Family Heads can hold office for up to a year until reelections are held. Family Heads can hold office indefinitely insofar as their family members continue to unanimously elect them annually.

Auxiliary Heads can hold office for up to a year until reelections are held. Auxiliary Heads can hold office indefinitely insofar as their family members continue to unanimously elect them annually.

Junior Heads can hold office for up to a year until reelections are held. Junior Heads can hold office until surpassing the age of fifteen insofar as their family members continue to unanimously elect them annually.

Arbiters can hold office for up to three months until reelections are held. Arbiters can hold office for up to a year insofar as the Heads continue to unanimously elect them quarterly.

Auxiliary Arbiters can hold office for up to three months until reelections are held. Auxiliary Arbiters can hold office for up to a year insofar as the Heads continue to unanimously elect them quarterly.

Junior Arbiters can hold office for up to three months until reelections are held. Junior Arbiters can hold office for up to a year insofar as they are under the age of fifteen and the Heads continue to unanimously elect them quarterly.

Article VI:

Section 1:

Elections of The Heads must take place at least once per year. Elections of the Arbiters must take place at least quarterly. The winners of the elections for Those Responsible shall be determined by unanimous vote. No individual, however, shall be elected as a Head or Arbiter unless having already ratified the constitution.

Section 2:

Before Heads can be instated for a new term each family must meet to nominate individuals for the roles of Family Head, Auxiliary Head, and Junior Head. In the case that more than one individual is nominated for one appointment, elections must be held within the week to determine through unanimous vote who shall fill the role in question. Voting in order to reach a unanimous decision will be held for consecutive days until such a consensus is reached by all family members eligible to vote. Similarly, appointment of the Arbiters shall follow quarterly the same route as Head appointments in the context of the meeting of Heads. Any individual nominated and unanimously voted into an official role must perform their duties as laid out in this consititution to the best of their abilities despite any explicit desire, or lack thereof, on the part of the nominated to hold office of any kind. Elected officials may only abdicate their possision in the case of severe physical or psychological disablilities which impede the ability to perform the required duties of the role.

Section 3:

An offical can be impeached and removed from office through an unanimous vote called for due to their failure to perform the neccessessary duties of their appointed role, or due to their neglect or outright affront of the constition and its tenets. In the case of the latter, a character hearing shall be called to evaluate the reasons for consititional neglect and/or affront and decide upon what, if any, diciplinary actions need take place to ammend the infraction.

Section 4:

In the event of a mid-term vacancy of a Family Head the Auxiliary Head of the family will take on the duties and responsibilities of Family Head in addition to their own duties, until an early election can be held to fill the vacancey with an interim offical upinto the time of the normal election cycle where a permanent official can be once again instated .

In the event of a mid-term vacancy of an Auxiliary Head the Family Head will take on the duties and responsibilities of Auxiliary Head in addition ot their own duties, until an early election can be held to fill the vacancey with an interim official upinto the time of the normal election cycle where a permanent official can be once again instated.

In the event of a mid-term vacancy of a Junior Head the post shall be appointed to the youngest family member eligible for the possition until an early election can be held to fill the vacancey with an interim official upinto the time of the normal election cycle where a permanent official can be once again instated.

In the event of a mid-term vacancy of an Arbiter, Auxiliary Arbiter, or Junior Arbiter early elections are to be held immediately to fill the vacancey with an interim official upinto the time of the normal election cycle where a permanent official can be once again instated.

• Write the rules on elections, appointments, and removal of officers. Article 6 of your constitution should provide the rules on elections, appointment procedures, and removal of members. This article should also provide the rules on interim appointments or elections in the case of a mid-term vacancy.[19]
  • Section 1 of Article 6 can say, for example: “Organizational elections must take place at least once per year.”[20] This section should also provide the general rules on elections, whereas more specific election rules can be written in the organization’s bylaws.[21] The general rules on elections may include, for example, rules on voting procedure. You can write, for example: "The winners of the elections for representatives shall be determined by plurality vote. No student, however, shall be elected as class representative unless he or she receives the vote of ten percent (10%) of the class from which he or she was elected."[22]
  • Section 2 of Article 6 should provide the general appointment procedures for appointing officers, whereas more specific appointment procedures can be written in the bylaws.[23]
  • Section 3 of Article 6 can say, for example: “The members of the Board may be impeached and removed (enter grounds for impeachment and removal and enter impeachment and removal procedures).”[24]
  • Section 4 of Article 6 can say, for example: “In the event of a mid-term vacancy of an elected officer…” followed by the procedure for electing an interim or permanent replacement officer.[25]

Write the rules on committees. Article 7 of your constitution should provide the names of committees, the duties of each committee, the rules on selection and removal of committee members, and the procedures for formation and dissolution of committees.[26]
• Section 1 of Article 7 can say, for example: “The standing committees of this organization shall be…” followed by a list of all standing committees.[27] Note: a standing committee is a permanent committee whose purpose is to consider all matters that relate to a particular subject.[28]
• Section 2 of Article 7 can say, for example: “The duties of each of these standing committees shall be…” followed by a list of the duties.[29]
• Section 3 of Article 7 should provide the rules on how committee members will be selected and removed.[30]
• Section 4 of Article 7 can say, for example: “Additional committees may be formed and dissolved by the organization…” followed by the procedures for adding and removing committees.[31]
Provide for the creation of bylaws. Article 8 of your constitution should provide the rules on how the organization’s and executive board’s bylaws will be created and amended and who has the power to do so.[32] Note: Bylaws are rules that an organization adopts to govern its internal operations and its dealings with others.[33] These rules are intended to complement the constitution. Bylaws can be detailed rules that cannot be covered in detail in the constitution itself.
• Section 1 of Article 8 can say, for example: “Bylaws of the organization shall be established and amended by…” followed by the procedures for creating and amending the organization’s bylaws.[34]
• Section 2 of Article 8 can say, for example: “Bylaws of the Board shall be established and amended by…” followed by the procedures for amending and creating bylaws of the executive board.[35]
• Bylaws should not contradict anything in the Constitution. Generally, bylaws contain detailed provisions on such topics as membership, dues, duties of officers, the Board, committees, order of business, amendment procedures, and other specific policies and procedures necessary for the organization or its operation.

Write how the constitution can be amended. Article 9 of your constitution should provide the rules on amendments to the constitution. This article should state how and by whom amendments can be proposed and what percentage of vote is required for the amendment to be adopted. A common example is two-thirds of the voting membership.[36] This article may state, for example, "Amendments to the Constitution may be proposed by two-thirds (2⁄3) vote of the Student Council or a petition signed by fifty (50) currently enrolled students."[37]
Write how the proposed constitution shall be ratified. Article 10 of your constitution should provide for how the constitution you are proposing shall be ratified. This article can say, for example: “This constitution shall be established by a vote of a (insert fraction) majority of the membership of the organization.”[38] A recommended fraction for ratification is a 3/4ths majority.[39]
Write how questions concerning the interpretation of the constitution shall be decided. You can write, in Article 11, for example: "Questions concerning the interpretation of this document shall be decided by the Board."[40] *

Seeking recommendations for Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) apps for a bi gal like myself for cute dates with other women only?

So far most of what I've tried have been very limited/one way interactions (unsure if people have forgotten how to ask questions!?). ONLY SEEKING FOR SELF, NO UNICORNS/NOT A UNICORN. Sorry just had to make that clear....

Any recommendations would be appreciated! PS am Au based not USA...

Canadian Thanksgiving is just around the corner. My wife and I usually host a small gathering for my wife’s immediate (mom, dad, sister, and grandparents) family at my house. Last year my sister-in-law asked whether she could bring her fiancé, which we were absolutely happy to have him over.

This year however, things are weird. They just got married within the last month, and I got a text from my SIL letting me know that she invited her mother-in-law to my house. I don’t have any problems with the woman, but I found it to be really rude for her to invite someone over to my house without even asking if it was okay.

My SIL is very self-centred most of the time. She expects people to just do whatever she wants to do, and rarely contributes anything. Usually for Thanksgiving I will cook the turkey and a couple of sides, and everyone else is responsible for bringing something (sides, dessert, buns, appies… anything they feel like bringing). She never brings anything except a container to bring leftovers home with her. She is like this with many other things. She has come camping with us and not brought any food for herself, because she is just assuming that we are going to feed her.

I love my wife’s family, but my SIL drives me insane. I find it incredibly rude that she just decided to invite someone to my house without asking. I don’t know what to do though. I feel like I need to call her out on it, but I also don’t want to ruin Thanksgiving.

I guess I have two questions:

Am I wrong to be upset about this?

If I’m not wrong, then what do I do about it?

Wondering how other organizations are supporting / controlling working from home?

Do you guys get your internet reimbursed? Do you have to use a company-controlled wifi router? Do you get a cellphone (with data) so you have a back-up connectivity? Allowances? Are you surveilled?

I have been researching DIY Latex / Hybrid mattresses lately and have been thinking about pulling the trigger. I've been eying a full latex build, 3 inches of Firm, Medium, and Soft talalay (firm -> soft).I was able to find a good amount of information between Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/Mattress/comments/otdqms/diy_mattresses_an_introductory_guide/?rdt=54627) and Arizona Premium Mattresses, but I feel like I'm lacking information about people's anecdotal experiences.

Have you gone the DIY route before? Was it a success? Did you end up effectively buying multiple mattresses worth of components trying to dial it in? Looking back would you just buy a bed in a box? Any insight / tips would be very much appreciated.

For context, this was neither in the US nor Europe. This is not my first language and some terms are direct translations since I am not aware of actual usage.

I'm coming from an intense experience: my first son is born. In the days before that, I cared for my pregnant wife during the passing of her mother, who spent 3 months in the hospital fighting multiple conditions, chiefly neurological.

Two days after the burial, we went to the hospital for several exams. My wife was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia, a potentially dangerous pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure.

We spent almost a week in the hospital. My wife did not want a c-section, so our doctor employed multiple methods to induce labor over the course of several days.

There are no men in the maternity ward. Men do not sweep floors, do not take calls, or take any position of care.

I did not see any men in the hallway, although I assumed there were some hidden in the bedrooms.

When the nurses entered the room, they did not look at me. I was not a father, but rather a "companion" whatever you would use in English for someone who is just kind of there. When they had instructions pertaining to the care of my wife and son, they never addressed me. They only addressed me in matters lacking importance, like "Get me a towel", or "Is there any cotton left?".

The tone and body language were of contempt and distrust.

When my wife was soon to go into labor, I decided to go to the bathroom, since I expected to be locked in a room for many hours. When I left the bathroom (which was in the same room where she was), my wife was not there. She was gone. I looked for information and realized she was in the delivery room.

When I was in the bathroom, someone asked me to get something for the doula (a woman), but didn't tell me why. I did. You see, they had time to request me to get something for the doula, but couldn't use the same time to warn me that my wife was being taken to another floor.

That was incredibly traumatizing.

At every step, the message was very clear: "You are not welcome here". "You are not qualified to care for your wife and son". "You are man, and, therefore, a menace to this environment".

Well, fuck them. I was there for my wife since day one. In every contraction, every second she needed me, I was there.

I was the first person to touch my son when he left the womb.

We had to revolt to leave that place as soon as we could. Our personal pediatrician had to intervene because apparently, the maternity ward didn't really trust my wife either -- they just pretended. The kid was slightly underweight. I was convinced that the long stay at the hospital was the main factor impacting breastfeeding. My wife needed to mourn the loss of her mother and required some sense of normality and routine (we are so incredibly happy in our day-to-day, I was confident she would improve!). Turns out that I (and our doctor) were right. We're home now, and the kid's gaining weight again.

At every step of this process, I was invited not to care. "Get out, father, you are not needed here." "That is not a job for men, let the women do it for you".

Earlier today, a neighbor came asking "Are the girls helping you out?". I gotta be honest, I snapped. "No", I said. "This kid has a father". "Oh, but the feminine touch is special!". "It is not", I answered.

Well, fuck them, because I do care for my son, and I will continue to do so. I fully acknowledge and respect the special connection a mother has with their kids. I cannot bear a child, and I lack the ability to produce milk. Other than that, there are no tasks my wife can do that I cannot do as well.

I am not an angry person. Thinking about this makes me very angry and I hate that feeling. I feel a long-lasting trauma is forming. I'm pretty shook-up.

I love my son, I guess that ultimately that is all that matters.

I'm just glad I'm now home, and that I am no longer the only man in a place that considered me a foreign body, trying to eject me at every chance.

I'm looking into insulating the attic above a closed-in back porch & the estimate also included adding additional insulation on top of the blown-in in the attic.

What kinds of factors can be used to think about the value of additional insulation?

For reference, I'm in Florida & keep setpoint around 80 degrees F most of the time when home, and 86 when not home. Power bills in the summer are in the $150-$180 USD range.

It's currently R27 and the quote is to add R11 to bring it up to R38. Code here appears to put new construction at R38 as a minimum, but looking at some charts - it looks like I might have already hit diminishing returns?

This chart I found on "Energy Vanguard" seems to suggest that going from 27 to 38 isn't much of a difference.

Does anyone else have any insight on when those diminishing returns are hit, and if it can make any appreciable difference in power bills? The house itself is comfortable enough, without large swings in temperature.