I've thought about this off and on for like a year.

It, as far as I know, seems well documented that populations are struggling with dating and marriages, especially in the younger generations. A lot of people attribute it to things like finances, working hours, cost of living, etc, but also the abysmal online dating circus. People don't seem to go out with the intention of meeting people as much, and so most turn to apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. But with these apps basically monopolized by the Match group, and none of the parent companies have an actual incentive to get people off the app, it seems like a ripe opportunity for governments everywhere to try and fill in the gap.

As they don't have the investor profit motive, but they do have a very strong motive for people to get together, have relationships, marriages, eventually babies. And this is just a baseless claim on my part, but I imagine it could be stimulating to local economies as more people go on dates. I know at least my ass doesn't go anywhere really when I'm single.

I'm at the end of a decade long relationship. I didn't want it end but that's how it goes sometimes. Any suggestions for how to handle it? Right now all I'm really feeling is shock but I'm sure that'll fade to sadness soon.

The news has been talking about the burst of mosquito activity, thanks to warm weather and moisture everywhere. In our typically bug-free home, we've lately been swatting a half dozen flying insects a day, mostly flies and fruit flies, and a mosquito here and there.

I'm not necessarily scared of West Nile, Eastern equine encephalitis, or dengue virus, but I'm wondering if anyone has any good tricks for dealing with all these bugs.

How are you dealing with mosquitoes and flies at home?

As I write this, I’m using a $10 foot massager from Temu that my wife bought. I thought it was totally stupid but it gets nightly use. We lie on the couch and just let it run.

Edit2: it looks like the LINGTENG one on Amazon - probably white labeled from same factory, nothing special about it but we like the simplicity.

What has anyone else found surprisingly useful?

Edit -

Here are some things that came in mind as I was walking around:

• Different type of mason jar lids from masontops for sprouting, cold press coffee, pouring spout for watering plants, etc.
• ifixit kit - originally used for phone fixing now used for prying random stuff - the Ifixit jimmy is really useful, and it’s great to have all tools in one place
• Shoegoo - originally used for shoe fixing now used for fixing bike parts - time to invest in a glue gun
• YouTube premium - I originally got a family plan so that my mom wouldn’t watch so many ads, but now it’s an integral part of my passive learning system - languages, guitar, sports, etc.
• hydrogen peroxide - I got it for wound disinfecting but it has only ever been used as a stain remover.
• cheap Muji mini umbrella - way more used than my fancy Davek

Cohost.org, an independent social media blogging platform, will be shutting down as early as next month. A lot of users are talking about how their time on Cohost changed the way they think about what an experience in an online community can be like in the modern age of the internet. People saying that they'd rather move forward with spending more time offline and with their hobbies than chasing the next social media site after Cohost's closure. I tend to agree.

After checking an old forum recently that I used to frequent in the heyday of internet forums, I found it filled with racist fear-mongering that is left unmoderated after the driving force of the community passed away half a decade ago. I wonder how much of the spirit of the old web we can realistically rekindle. If you're on Tildes, you probably know everything about the faults of giant social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit. Heck, the poor quality the YouTube comments section was a meme when YouTube was new. It was never good on those sites. Just tolerable and everybody was there so you kind of had no choice. Now, many of those platforms are self-imploding.

Cohost, like Tildes, created an atmosphere where you didn't feel like you were committing a moral wrongdoing by not immediately spewing scalding hot takes about current events, drama and conflicts. You were encouraged to write text that wasn't throwaway garbage. You could have meaningful conversations about issues and find an audience. Cohost was not without its flaws. People of colour in particular recently shared experiences of racist harassment on the site that was purely handled by moderation. But overall the takes I'm reading now is that most people will be able to look back on their time on Cohost fondly. I've seen people calling it "the Dreamcast of websites".

Cohost was a social media site that was a joy to visit for me and didn't put me on an edge by interacting with it. I could write posts, long-form posts without pressure to hit out another one-line zinger while a topic "is still relevant". I didn't see endless chains of subtweets that deliberately avoided explicitly mentioning the drama they were commenting on, lest the hate mob find their comment. I didn't get into that kind of unnerving cycle of "I don't know what this post is about, but the infrastructure of this social network suggests it's a moral failure to not chime in on the topic de jour, so I better get going and scan vile tweets for an hour to find out what's going on".

And before you say that this is only a Twitter problem, I have had pretty much exactly the same experiences on Mastodon and especially Bluesky. I feel the same in over-crowded Discord servers where it's very difficult to keep track of what's been talked about and what the current topic of discussion is. I feel the same on the few active forums that still exist, like resetera, where there's just posts upon posts that you're kind of expected to read before you chime in into a thread.

So where to go from here? I'm thinking about setting up my own proper blog, maybe hosted on an own website. That way I can continue to create long form posts about topics I want to. And bring back a little more of the spirit of the old internet. Cohost is dead, but there's no going back to me to doomscrolling. Today I set my phone to aggressively limit my daily usage of Reddit & Mastodon. I said the following when Twitter crashed and burned, but this time I'm not desperate, but genuine when I say: It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

Hello fellow Tildians,

I'm considering a move from Northern Virginia (NoVa) to Raleigh, NC, and would love some insight from those familiar with the area. I'm in my 20s and curious about the scene down there.

Although I haven’t spent much time in NoVa, one of the main reasons I’m looking at Raleigh is that NoVa feels like it has a more transient population. There's nothing inherently wrong with that (and I realize I’m contributing to it myself), but I’m hoping for something with more rooted connections.

How easy is it to make friends or date in Raleigh? I know it’s a broad question, but if anyone has lived in both places and can compare, that would be super helpful!

Additionally, are there any neighborhoods or locations I should avoid? I’m considering purchasing a home but want to stay within 15-20 minutes of Raleigh.

Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated!

Heavily inspired by last week's thread as well as my recent dental health kick, I'm looking for some toothpaste recommendations.

Previously, I used an imported UK version of Sensodyne, because it was the only way to get the version with novomin. I've run out of that stuff and have started using an interesting toothpaste I picked up from a Japanese store called AcessL from Sato Pharmaceuticals. It's got a unique herbal flavor to it that I like in small bits, but it's not great for my tongue because it's actually pretty salty-flavored, which turns me off of it.

How many friends do you have? Good good friends vs more casual friends. What's the dividing line or definition of one vs the other for you? Related question: what life stage are you in, and what was friendship like at a different stage?

How do you keep in touch, esp for friends not in your city? Do you call them randomly or call / video chat with them regularly? Do texts count? Do people welcome phone calls out of the blue or is it more like, "oh gosh you have cancer" if one gets a call from a friend these days?

How much effort are regular people* putting into maintaining/strengthening their friendships in their late-30s onwards? (Regular people being, maybe, folks who aren't terminally online, folks who are neurotypical, folks without social anxiety etc?) [edit: oh no I messed up!! I mean that I super want to hear from others who fit one or more of these boxes as well, but since I'm 3/3 plus all kinds of crazy I am interested to know if these are factors in friendships, particularly because most people are of the "normal" sort who would have to put up with me.....my apologies.]

Do folks suddenly realise maybe they don't have many/any close friends, or they're not as close anymore as they thought they were decades ago? How do folks maintain friendship as people age and move apart? Or is it just normal that once you're not in the same city to hang out, they stop being good friends?

Have you ever made conscious and serious efforts to make / rekindle friendships before? How, and how'd that turn out ?

I’ve been shaving for about five years, and in that time I’ve always been using an electric razor. I’m not sure why, but that was the first way that I learned to shave, and I’d never bothered to try a different tool - until 10 minutes ago, when I shaved with a cartridge razor for the first time.

Oh, my, word. It’s like magic - as if I’m just wiping the hairs off my face. I don’t think I’ll ever go back now, this shave was easier, less messy, and closer, plus since I can easily see where I’ve already been and what I have left to do because of the shaving foam I don’t accidentally miss a patch.

Now I’m wondering, how do other Tilderinos shave, and what has your experience been with different types of razor?

To be clear, I'm a native Texan. But I'm tired of the goings-on of the county that I've always lived in. I feel like I've already done everything there is to do. I want to meet people that feel genuinely 'new' to me and have as many novel experiences as I can in a short period of time.
I'm planning on moving during January since that's when my lease is up at my apartment. What things should I expect? What should I seek?

I'm currently at a crossroads for how I want to spend my next few years. For context I'm 33 and considering whether or not to purchase a vehicle after being car free for 12 years.

I rent a 600 sq foot apartment downtown and walk, run or bike everywhere with the occasional trip on transit. I fill up my free time with low cost activities like gaming, magic (the gathering), disc golf, and usually one paid activity like karate or climbing. I enjoy getting out to the mountains to hike when I can get a ride with a friend or meetup group.

I'm pretty content day to day, I have a good friend group, and it feels great knowing I only have to work for 12-17 more years while I am still young enough to enjoy retirement (If I keep my 50% savings rate). I do still splurge occasionally with a few weeks of overseas vacation.

I am considering getting a car as I feel it would allow me to:

• Go hiking more often, and on my terms. Most of the hiking groups I join are 10-20 people going extremely slowly. I run in a 100 mile trail run relay every year and a vehicle would allow me to train more and see how much I can push my body. Running a 50km, 50 miler, 100km, and maybe 100 miles would be goals that I can see myself training towards.
• Provide rides for people out to the mountains. The most luck I have had in meeting new people is through hiking groups, and being on the provider end and being known as someone that regularly hosts I feel can generate a lot more clout, and is seen as more attractive for the purposes of asking people out for dates afterwards if we bonded during the hike.
• Visit family and work remotely more often. I live 500km away from family, but my work allows me to work from anywhere within 1 or 2 timezones, so I could make 1-3 week trips to visit family and work during the day.

However I have the following reservations:

• Getting a vehicle I feel is a dangerous slope of lifestyle creep. Likely at least $3-5k in yearly expenses on top of the purchase cost, pushing retirement at least a few years back
• Getting a vehicle purely for pleasure as I work from home goes against my current frugal nature. What if I don't feel like hiking every single weekend? Sometimes I like just staying in a playing some games or working on a side project. What if I get an injury or it ends up being too smoky?
• The opportunity cost. Is this the best way I would want to spend my money to enjoy life more if I was dedicated to spending it? I could instead spend months in South America doing a bunch of awesome hiking and traveling there.

Has anyone else that was on track for an early retirement give in and decide to start spending more 10+ years out? I currently don't know what I want my retirement to look like, and a house and family is a huge question mark that I feel is so far off as the longest I have dated someone is just 2 months.