I was diagnosed with Primarily Inattentive ADHD in college and never put too much stock into the diagnosis because I'm not hyperactive. But the main issue with inattentive ADHDfocus, not...
I was diagnosed with Primarily Inattentive ADHD in college and never put too much stock into the diagnosis because I'm not hyperactive. But the main issue with inattentive ADHDfocus, not hyperactivity. That lack of hyperactivity is also why it goes unnoticed and under-diagnosed.
I'm reading up on Primarily Inattentive ADHD years later and it makes me want to cry. It feels weird seeing my life and personality being summarized in a list of systems. Not just the DSM-V symptoms like forgetfulness and attention drifting, but also the tendency towards deep thought or coming off as shy and reserved.
Here's some snippets from the link:
Most commonly recognised inattentive symptoms:
Difficulty sustaining attention (easily distracted by surroundings or thoughts, difficulty concentrating on conversations, frequently ”zoning out” or daydreaming.
Disorganisation and poor time management (difficulty organising tasks or daily routines, poor time awareness, struggles with prioritise tasks)
Forgetfulness in everyday tasks (frequently losing items like keys, phone, forgetting appointments or responsibilities, missing important details)
Difficulty following instructions and completing tasks (not finishing schoolwork, work tasks, task avoidance, difficulty following multi-step instructions)
Appearing withdrawn, quiet, or ”in their own world” (quiet or low-energy behaviour, appearing not to listen when spoken to, being labelled as ”dreamy” or ”spaced out”.
Mental fatigue and effortful concentration (mental exhaustion, difficulty staying engaged for long periods, reduced productivity despite effort)
Younger children:
Children may appear easily distracted, daydreamy, forgetful, prone to losing items, and struggle to follow instructions. But, there are some symptoms of inattentive adhd that remain overlooked in children in both age phases, and those are: looking ”shy” and ”well-behaved”, just because they are not as disruptive as hyperactive, impulsive symptoms of inattentive adhd are in children. They may sit calmly, avoid drawing attention to themselves, and appear compliant, leading adults to assume they are coping well.
Teens:
Unlike the more obvious hyperactive behaviours seen in some younger children, adolescents with predominantly inattentive ADHD tend to show subtle but impactful symptoms, such as:
Difficulty organising homework
Frequent distraction
Trouble prioritising tasks
Tendency to ”zone out” during lessons or conversations
Strengths:
While ADHD is often discussed in terms of challenges, it has also been increasingly recognised that people with predominantly inattentive ADHD can have notable cognitive strengths. Many people show a natural tendency towards deep thinking and reflection, often processing ideas in a more layered and contemplative way.
What may appear as “daydreaming” can actually support complex problem-solving, insight, and the ability to see connections that others might miss. People with lived experience frequently highlight this reflective style as a strength in areas such as writing, analysis, and emotionally attuned thinking.
In addition, inattentive ADHD is strongly linked with creativity and imagination. The mind’s tendency to wander can fuel original ideas, storytelling, and innovative thinking, particularly in artistic or conceptual fields. Rather than following rigid, linear patterns, many people think in a more associative and expansive way, which can lead to unique perspectives and creative breakthroughs.
Almost everything I read on here resonated with me. From the issues to the strengths. I was just wondering if anyone else is dealing with ADHD-PI and how yall are dealing with it.
I don't have the time right now to go in depth, I was about to close Tildes and step away when I saw this, but I do want to say that yes. I have this too. You aren't alone, and people can help....
I don't have the time right now to go in depth, I was about to close Tildes and step away when I saw this, but I do want to say that yes. I have this too. You aren't alone, and people can help.
Reading those symptoms can feel incredibly demoralizing doesn't it? That's ok, we're allowed to feel and accept that we were dealt a challenging hand. But also know that we have coping mechanisms and medication that can help us get through the difficult times.
If you haven't already, seek professional help. It made a huge difference for me.
Present. It does make me wonder how much of me is actually personality, vs symptoms and fallout from not having accommodations when young. Congratulations on your diagnosis, and may your future be...
Present. It does make me wonder how much of me is actually personality, vs symptoms and fallout from not having accommodations when young.
Congratulations on your diagnosis, and may your future be filled with positive changes, kindness to yourself and healing.
PS: executive functioning occupational therapy helped me a lot.
Yeah I just found out last year. They exist for children's therapy but I managed to find ones geared specifically towards adults, some even with a focus on career management for neurodiverse...
Yeah I just found out last year. They exist for children's therapy but I managed to find ones geared specifically towards adults, some even with a focus on career management for neurodiverse women. My extended health plan covers a little bit too, btw, under OT.
It's like, if OT exists for the elderly on how to use a stove or remember to take meds or safely locking the door without stove on etc, they have them for other kinds of memory / attention / goal setting / following through / shame-guilt-procrastination management etc.
One of the most useful advice: do non-preferred task first each day, and DO NOT "optimize" by switching task --- it is paramount to finish first even if it's completely more efficient to "let me just slip this in alongside". Don't do it. Finish the one first however many you just notice on the way you can add.
Yeah I’m gonna look into this. My work life is tragic and I could really use some help from someone who knows what’s going on lmao I swear I had to figure out so much on my own. On top of that you...
Yeah I’m gonna look into this. My work life is tragic and I could really use some help from someone who knows what’s going on lmao
I swear I had to figure out so much on my own. On top of that you gotta fight for people to believe you. Very draining!
I'm curious why you would suggest that inattentiveness is forgotten when squirrel its symptoms are the classic symptoms of a disorder that many people still call just ADD.
I'm curious why you would suggest that inattentiveness is forgotten when squirrel its symptoms are the classic symptoms of a disorder that many people still call just ADD.
Because that isn't how the diagnosis is presented to a lot of folks, especially to children and boys, and the lack of hyperactivity resulted in many people going undiagnosed for quite a while....
Because that isn't how the diagnosis is presented to a lot of folks, especially to children and boys, and the lack of hyperactivity resulted in many people going undiagnosed for quite a while. Plus "squirrel" is often presented as part of hyperactivity, not just inattentiveness.
This feels really unnecessary as a response to someone who said reading these symptoms made them want to cry and who seems to be looking for support and connection. Even if it was simply their own experience and perception.
For me, there is no "squirrel" diversion of attention because mid conversation with you, I've drifted off in my own head: I can't hear/see/perceive there is a squirrel, and in fact I've stopped...
For me, there is no "squirrel" diversion of attention because mid conversation with you, I've drifted off in my own head: I can't hear/see/perceive there is a squirrel, and in fact I've stopped listening to you as well, I am making semi-coherent mimic responses only.
I have ooh shiny responses but the mind fixated on something else and I'm 2-7 side tracks down the rail line before coming back to the main conversation is much more common. Especially in adulthood
I have ooh shiny responses but the mind fixated on something else and I'm 2-7 side tracks down the rail line before coming back to the main conversation is much more common. Especially in adulthood
I was diagnosed early in graduated school towards the end of COVID. I definitely cried then and still feel like crying from time to time for having to figure this part of myself out so "late" in...
I was diagnosed early in graduated school towards the end of COVID. I definitely cried then and still feel like crying from time to time for having to figure this part of myself out so "late" in life. I'm not old, I'm an elder zoomer technically, but I spent so much of my life fighting myself and feeling guilty for being unable to do things that are "simple" and things "everyone can do." I never got diagnosed as a kid because it never emerged as a learning difficulty. I learned quick, and while I was still struggling, it never manifested as bad grades. It wasn't until lockdown and still being a full time student that all the coping strategies I'd unknowingly been building up and relying on collapsed and I had no idea what was wrong. I couldn't function and couldn't figure out why I was struggling. So I pursued professional help thinking they were probably going to tell me I was depressed (which I was to a certain extent), because I still had the perception that most of my struggles was just something everyone experienced and just figured out how to work through.
That said, I had a nagging idea it could be ADHD. I had started getting a TON of ADHD content on Instagram and liked the posts because they were relatable and I thought they were relatable to everyone. I just thought it was a quirky "haha we all experience this stuff right? xD" kind of thing. It wasn't until I showed my spouse a post that I thought was super relatable, and they went "I don't get it," and I was like "what? Don't you experience that?" and they said "no I don't know what the post means" that I started to wonder if maybe my "normal" wasn't quite everyone's normal. .-.
So I don't love that I got nudged to a diagnosis by the algorithm, but it definitely gave me context and some anecdotal insights to start wrestling with the idea I might have ADHD. And yeah, started seeing a professional and sure enough, inattentive ADHD. (~_~;)
And the pain comes from 2 decades of schooling where I was really struggling despite appearances making it look like I was a model student. I was disorganized, my hands were always covered in reminders of what I needed to do because it was the only way I remembered assignments and responsibilities, and I really struggled to read. Which sucks because school is a lot of reading. But almost all the time I had to read I'd space out after a paragraph and then go back and read it again over and over. It showed up as problems with reading comprehension which always made me angry as a kid because it wasn't a matter of not understanding what I read. If I thought it was interesting I absolutely understood what I was reading. It was that I couldn't REMEMBER anything I'd just read which was agonizing. But then after starting medication I could actually remember what I'd read and it was like a whole new world of opportunity! I still struggle a bit with heavy or technical reading, especially when my brain is getting tired, but that part at least seems normal. The beauty though is I've been able to take joy in fun reading again because I can focus on what I'm reading. ^.^
I also have always struggled with remembering instructions which would lead to conflicts with my parents and a bit early in marriage (my spouse is very supportive and we're on this journey together, but early on there were frustrating moments trying to navigate things together). My dad especially just thought I wasn't listening to him. But nope, I absolutely understopd 100% of what he'd ask me to do, turn around and leave the room, and then immediately couldn't remember what he'd asked me to do after the first step.
And I know so many adults in my young life and my parents were doing the best they could. But it still hurts feeling like I was failed in some ways because non of them took a step back and went "hey maybe this behavior isn't 'normal.'" I so badly wish someone had caught it earlier because I feel like I would have enjoyed being a kid and young person so much more if I'd gotten support early on. But I'm doing the best I can now and at least I'm better equiped to advocate for others with similar experiences now.
They diagnosed me with this and “Asperger’s” as a child in the 90s, but as an adult I’m incredibly organized and have rigid routines. My theory is that I perhaps on the outside fit the criteria...
They diagnosed me with this and “Asperger’s” as a child in the 90s, but as an adult I’m incredibly organized and have rigid routines.
My theory is that I perhaps on the outside fit the criteria for this as a child in school because I would cope with the overstimulation by escaping into my own head, but I never actually had ADHD.
I'm diagnosed with combined type myself, but both my childhood experiences and my struggles in adulthood reflect that the inattentive-type symptoms are the bigger deal and disrupt my life more....
I'm diagnosed with combined type myself, but both my childhood experiences and my struggles in adulthood reflect that the inattentive-type symptoms are the bigger deal and disrupt my life more. Getting diagnosed as an adult changed my life, and a lot of my biggest regrets result from not getting diagnosed and on medication sooner.
I don’t (as far as I know), but my wife does. She figured out that she likely did during college, but didn’t get her official diagnosis until she was working on her Ph.D (actually got the results...
I don’t (as far as I know), but my wife does. She figured out that she likely did during college, but didn’t get her official diagnosis until she was working on her Ph.D (actually got the results during one of the important milestones, which was a whole can of worms to both process & then start meds during).
She studies psychology and so identified a lot of her own symptoms, but also was mitigating a lot of them with that knowledge. After we moved in together (and had better insurance), she finally went to try to get an official diagnosis to get meds to help.
Formally, I exhibited hyperactivity as a child, so I'mnot sure if I'm primarily inattentive. But throughout my early teens and beyond I've definitely just been inattentive, with any hyperactivity...
Formally, I exhibited hyperactivity as a child, so I'mnot sure if I'm primarily inattentive. But throughout my early teens and beyond I've definitely just been inattentive, with any hyperactivity being relegated to a bunch of ticks/habits.
But regardless, I know exactly how you feel because I went through the exact same motions last year, at the ripe young age of 30, when my friend (also diagnosed) convinced me to look into ADHD and the more I read about it the more I felt like I was reading an autobiography. Finally, just before turning 31, I was officially diagnosed and medicated and am now still learning how to "function" after 3 decades of complete dysfunction.
All this to say you are absolutely not alone and ADHD is extremely underdiagnosed in general, especially in adults. It's normal to feel like you're just now discovering who you are and understand why the world around you feels the way it does.
How to deal with it will vary from person to person but in my case my executive dysfunction was exacerbating so many other mental problems (as it turns out, when you can't focus you also can't do a good job and end up falling behind which only stresses you out more) that stimulant medication was definitely the way forward for me, especially after trying anti depressants and none of them helping. After some months on my medication (Lisdexamfetamine, brand name Elvanse or VyVanse) I was able to do tasks I wanted which slowly improved my outlook on life in general, especially the constant mental spiraling and ruminating. Hell, now I'm even starting to exercise regularly and have lost 15 kg just because I can think of something and do it instead of constally hopping from thought to thought.
When you're officially diagnosed it takes a lot of effort to "unlearn" the bad habits you've built over the years, but there is always a way forward and you're never alone.
Yeah dude I’m on Vyvanse too and it’s like someone flicked on the light in my brain. I couldn’t believe the difference it made haha I’ve been on it for a couple years now, but I’ve been living...
Yeah dude I’m on Vyvanse too and it’s like someone flicked on the light in my brain. I couldn’t believe the difference it made haha
I’ve been on it for a couple years now, but I’ve been living life in more alignment with ADHD and I’ve lost 20lbs since last year. It’s wild how help was right there, but nobody noticed until adulthood
I was diagnosed with Primarily Inattentive ADHD in college and never put too much stock into the diagnosis because I'm not hyperactive. But the main issue with inattentive ADHDfocus, not hyperactivity. That lack of hyperactivity is also why it goes unnoticed and under-diagnosed.
I'm reading up on Primarily Inattentive ADHD years later and it makes me want to cry. It feels weird seeing my life and personality being summarized in a list of systems. Not just the DSM-V symptoms like forgetfulness and attention drifting, but also the tendency towards deep thought or coming off as shy and reserved.
Here's some snippets from the link:
Most commonly recognised inattentive symptoms:
Younger children:
Strengths:
Almost everything I read on here resonated with me. From the issues to the strengths. I was just wondering if anyone else is dealing with ADHD-PI and how yall are dealing with it.
I don't have the time right now to go in depth, I was about to close Tildes and step away when I saw this, but I do want to say that yes. I have this too. You aren't alone, and people can help.
Reading those symptoms can feel incredibly demoralizing doesn't it? That's ok, we're allowed to feel and accept that we were dealt a challenging hand. But also know that we have coping mechanisms and medication that can help us get through the difficult times.
If you haven't already, seek professional help. It made a huge difference for me.
Present. It does make me wonder how much of me is actually personality, vs symptoms and fallout from not having accommodations when young.
Congratulations on your diagnosis, and may your future be filled with positive changes, kindness to yourself and healing.
PS: executive functioning occupational therapy helped me a lot.
Wait what? This is a thing?
Yeah I just found out last year. They exist for children's therapy but I managed to find ones geared specifically towards adults, some even with a focus on career management for neurodiverse women. My extended health plan covers a little bit too, btw, under OT.
It's like, if OT exists for the elderly on how to use a stove or remember to take meds or safely locking the door without stove on etc, they have them for other kinds of memory / attention / goal setting / following through / shame-guilt-procrastination management etc.
One of the most useful advice: do non-preferred task first each day, and DO NOT "optimize" by switching task --- it is paramount to finish first even if it's completely more efficient to "let me just slip this in alongside". Don't do it. Finish the one first however many you just notice on the way you can add.
Do you have a good technique for not forgetting the other tasks that you notice along the way?
Yeah I’m gonna look into this. My work life is tragic and I could really use some help from someone who knows what’s going on lmao
I swear I had to figure out so much on my own. On top of that you gotta fight for people to believe you. Very draining!
I'm curious why you would suggest that inattentiveness is forgotten when squirrel its symptoms are the classic symptoms of a disorder that many people still call just ADD.
Because that isn't how the diagnosis is presented to a lot of folks, especially to children and boys, and the lack of hyperactivity resulted in many people going undiagnosed for quite a while. Plus "squirrel" is often presented as part of hyperactivity, not just inattentiveness.
This feels really unnecessary as a response to someone who said reading these symptoms made them want to cry and who seems to be looking for support and connection. Even if it was simply their own experience and perception.
For me, there is no "squirrel" diversion of attention because mid conversation with you, I've drifted off in my own head: I can't hear/see/perceive there is a squirrel, and in fact I've stopped listening to you as well, I am making semi-coherent mimic responses only.
I have ooh shiny responses but the mind fixated on something else and I'm 2-7 side tracks down the rail line before coming back to the main conversation is much more common. Especially in adulthood
The squirrel ioke doesn't particularly accurately reflect how inattentiveness from ADHD manifests in my experience (and I have combined type).
I suggest you read the article I posted. It goes into detail about the difference
I was diagnosed early in graduated school towards the end of COVID. I definitely cried then and still feel like crying from time to time for having to figure this part of myself out so "late" in life. I'm not old, I'm an elder zoomer technically, but I spent so much of my life fighting myself and feeling guilty for being unable to do things that are "simple" and things "everyone can do." I never got diagnosed as a kid because it never emerged as a learning difficulty. I learned quick, and while I was still struggling, it never manifested as bad grades. It wasn't until lockdown and still being a full time student that all the coping strategies I'd unknowingly been building up and relying on collapsed and I had no idea what was wrong. I couldn't function and couldn't figure out why I was struggling. So I pursued professional help thinking they were probably going to tell me I was depressed (which I was to a certain extent), because I still had the perception that most of my struggles was just something everyone experienced and just figured out how to work through.
That said, I had a nagging idea it could be ADHD. I had started getting a TON of ADHD content on Instagram and liked the posts because they were relatable and I thought they were relatable to everyone. I just thought it was a quirky "haha we all experience this stuff right? xD" kind of thing. It wasn't until I showed my spouse a post that I thought was super relatable, and they went "I don't get it," and I was like "what? Don't you experience that?" and they said "no I don't know what the post means" that I started to wonder if maybe my "normal" wasn't quite everyone's normal. .-.
So I don't love that I got nudged to a diagnosis by the algorithm, but it definitely gave me context and some anecdotal insights to start wrestling with the idea I might have ADHD. And yeah, started seeing a professional and sure enough, inattentive ADHD. (~_~;)
And the pain comes from 2 decades of schooling where I was really struggling despite appearances making it look like I was a model student. I was disorganized, my hands were always covered in reminders of what I needed to do because it was the only way I remembered assignments and responsibilities, and I really struggled to read. Which sucks because school is a lot of reading. But almost all the time I had to read I'd space out after a paragraph and then go back and read it again over and over. It showed up as problems with reading comprehension which always made me angry as a kid because it wasn't a matter of not understanding what I read. If I thought it was interesting I absolutely understood what I was reading. It was that I couldn't REMEMBER anything I'd just read which was agonizing. But then after starting medication I could actually remember what I'd read and it was like a whole new world of opportunity! I still struggle a bit with heavy or technical reading, especially when my brain is getting tired, but that part at least seems normal. The beauty though is I've been able to take joy in fun reading again because I can focus on what I'm reading. ^.^
I also have always struggled with remembering instructions which would lead to conflicts with my parents and a bit early in marriage (my spouse is very supportive and we're on this journey together, but early on there were frustrating moments trying to navigate things together). My dad especially just thought I wasn't listening to him. But nope, I absolutely understopd 100% of what he'd ask me to do, turn around and leave the room, and then immediately couldn't remember what he'd asked me to do after the first step.
And I know so many adults in my young life and my parents were doing the best they could. But it still hurts feeling like I was failed in some ways because non of them took a step back and went "hey maybe this behavior isn't 'normal.'" I so badly wish someone had caught it earlier because I feel like I would have enjoyed being a kid and young person so much more if I'd gotten support early on. But I'm doing the best I can now and at least I'm better equiped to advocate for others with similar experiences now.
They diagnosed me with this and “Asperger’s” as a child in the 90s, but as an adult I’m incredibly organized and have rigid routines.
My theory is that I perhaps on the outside fit the criteria for this as a child in school because I would cope with the overstimulation by escaping into my own head, but I never actually had ADHD.
I'm diagnosed with combined type myself, but both my childhood experiences and my struggles in adulthood reflect that the inattentive-type symptoms are the bigger deal and disrupt my life more. Getting diagnosed as an adult changed my life, and a lot of my biggest regrets result from not getting diagnosed and on medication sooner.
Are you me? I could have written your entire comment myself.
I don’t (as far as I know), but my wife does. She figured out that she likely did during college, but didn’t get her official diagnosis until she was working on her Ph.D (actually got the results during one of the important milestones, which was a whole can of worms to both process & then start meds during).
She studies psychology and so identified a lot of her own symptoms, but also was mitigating a lot of them with that knowledge. After we moved in together (and had better insurance), she finally went to try to get an official diagnosis to get meds to help.
Formally, I exhibited hyperactivity as a child, so I'mnot sure if I'm primarily inattentive. But throughout my early teens and beyond I've definitely just been inattentive, with any hyperactivity being relegated to a bunch of ticks/habits.
But regardless, I know exactly how you feel because I went through the exact same motions last year, at the ripe young age of 30, when my friend (also diagnosed) convinced me to look into ADHD and the more I read about it the more I felt like I was reading an autobiography. Finally, just before turning 31, I was officially diagnosed and medicated and am now still learning how to "function" after 3 decades of complete dysfunction.
All this to say you are absolutely not alone and ADHD is extremely underdiagnosed in general, especially in adults. It's normal to feel like you're just now discovering who you are and understand why the world around you feels the way it does.
How to deal with it will vary from person to person but in my case my executive dysfunction was exacerbating so many other mental problems (as it turns out, when you can't focus you also can't do a good job and end up falling behind which only stresses you out more) that stimulant medication was definitely the way forward for me, especially after trying anti depressants and none of them helping. After some months on my medication (Lisdexamfetamine, brand name Elvanse or VyVanse) I was able to do tasks I wanted which slowly improved my outlook on life in general, especially the constant mental spiraling and ruminating. Hell, now I'm even starting to exercise regularly and have lost 15 kg just because I can think of something and do it instead of constally hopping from thought to thought.
When you're officially diagnosed it takes a lot of effort to "unlearn" the bad habits you've built over the years, but there is always a way forward and you're never alone.
Yeah dude I’m on Vyvanse too and it’s like someone flicked on the light in my brain. I couldn’t believe the difference it made haha
I’ve been on it for a couple years now, but I’ve been living life in more alignment with ADHD and I’ve lost 20lbs since last year. It’s wild how help was right there, but nobody noticed until adulthood