I was diagnosed with Primarily Inattentive ADHD in college and never put too much stock into the diagnosis because I'm not hyperactive. But the main issue with inattentive ADHDfocus, not...
I was diagnosed with Primarily Inattentive ADHD in college and never put too much stock into the diagnosis because I'm not hyperactive. But the main issue with inattentive ADHDfocus, not hyperactivity. That lack of hyperactivity is also why it goes unnoticed and under-diagnosed.
I'm reading up on Primarily Inattentive ADHD years later and it makes me want to cry. It feels weird seeing my life and personality being summarized in a list of systems. Not just the DSM-V symptoms like forgetfulness and attention drifting, but also the tendency towards deep thought or coming off as shy and reserved.
Here's some snippets from the link:
Most commonly recognised inattentive symptoms:
Difficulty sustaining attention (easily distracted by surroundings or thoughts, difficulty concentrating on conversations, frequently ”zoning out” or daydreaming.
Disorganisation and poor time management (difficulty organising tasks or daily routines, poor time awareness, struggles with prioritise tasks)
Forgetfulness in everyday tasks (frequently losing items like keys, phone, forgetting appointments or responsibilities, missing important details)
Difficulty following instructions and completing tasks (not finishing schoolwork, work tasks, task avoidance, difficulty following multi-step instructions)
Appearing withdrawn, quiet, or ”in their own world” (quiet or low-energy behaviour, appearing not to listen when spoken to, being labelled as ”dreamy” or ”spaced out”.
Mental fatigue and effortful concentration (mental exhaustion, difficulty staying engaged for long periods, reduced productivity despite effort)
Younger children:
Children may appear easily distracted, daydreamy, forgetful, prone to losing items, and struggle to follow instructions. But, there are some symptoms of inattentive adhd that remain overlooked in children in both age phases, and those are: looking ”shy” and ”well-behaved”, just because they are not as disruptive as hyperactive, impulsive symptoms of inattentive adhd are in children. They may sit calmly, avoid drawing attention to themselves, and appear compliant, leading adults to assume they are coping well.
Teens:
Unlike the more obvious hyperactive behaviours seen in some younger children, adolescents with predominantly inattentive ADHD tend to show subtle but impactful symptoms, such as:
Difficulty organising homework
Frequent distraction
Trouble prioritising tasks
Tendency to ”zone out” during lessons or conversations
Strengths:
While ADHD is often discussed in terms of challenges, it has also been increasingly recognised that people with predominantly inattentive ADHD can have notable cognitive strengths. Many people show a natural tendency towards deep thinking and reflection, often processing ideas in a more layered and contemplative way.
What may appear as “daydreaming” can actually support complex problem-solving, insight, and the ability to see connections that others might miss. People with lived experience frequently highlight this reflective style as a strength in areas such as writing, analysis, and emotionally attuned thinking.
In addition, inattentive ADHD is strongly linked with creativity and imagination. The mind’s tendency to wander can fuel original ideas, storytelling, and innovative thinking, particularly in artistic or conceptual fields. Rather than following rigid, linear patterns, many people think in a more associative and expansive way, which can lead to unique perspectives and creative breakthroughs.
Almost everything I read on here resonated with me. From the issues to the strengths. I was just wondering if anyone else is dealing with ADHD-PI and how yall are dealing with it.
Present. It does make me wonder how much of me is actually personality, vs symptoms and fallout from not having accommodations when young. Congratulations on your diagnosis, and may your future be...
Present. It does make me wonder how much of me is actually personality, vs symptoms and fallout from not having accommodations when young.
Congratulations on your diagnosis, and may your future be filled with positive changes, kindness to yourself and healing.
PS: executive functioning occupational therapy helped me a lot.
Yeah I just found out last year. They exist for children's therapy but I managed to find ones geared specifically towards adults, some even with a focus on career management for neurodiverse...
Yeah I just found out last year. They exist for children's therapy but I managed to find ones geared specifically towards adults, some even with a focus on career management for neurodiverse women. My extended health plan covers a little bit too, btw, under OT.
It's like, if OT exists for the elderly on how to use a stove or remember to take meds or safely locking the door without stove on etc, they have them for other kinds of memory / attention / goal setting / following through / shame-guilt-procrastination management etc.
One of the most useful advice: do non-preferred task first each day, and DO NOT "optimize" by switching task --- it is paramount to finish first even if it's completely more efficient to "let me just slip this in alongside". Don't do it. Finish the one first however many you just notice on the way you can add.
I find I'm generally pretty good at jotting things down, as long as it's very easy to. I keep whiteboard markers on my fridge (in a little magnetic holder) and write quick notes and lists directly...
I find I'm generally pretty good at jotting things down, as long as it's very easy to. I keep whiteboard markers on my fridge (in a little magnetic holder) and write quick notes and lists directly on the fridge. Then later, I take a photo of those notes on my phone to keep as a to-do list.
The tricky part, for me, isn't finishing tasks. That's easy. Once I get started, nothing will stop me — not even finishing the task. I'll over-polish it just to keep going. (People think I'm perfectionistic for this reason, but actually I just can't stop thinking about whatever it is I've been working on.)
What's hard is actually getting started on new tasks. I do have some thoughts on how to do that, at least for certain kinds of tasks, but this is definitely my biggest weakness.
Not to engage with any of the other task is to ensure at least one thing gets get. How to get the rest of them done has a whole bunch of other associated techniques. Example, once your one thing...
Not to engage with any of the other task is to ensure at least one thing gets get.
How to get the rest of them done has a whole bunch of other associated techniques. Example, once your one thing is done, pick up another and do that to completion. Repeat until you walk around house and you literally don't see any other stray tasks. I haven't gotten there yet.
There's schedules and reminders and routines etc which none of them work for me. So far. That's where the actual fix is but I don't know how to bridge into that yet. I think the idea is that you spend time rejecting interruptions, including bad ones ("phone!") as well as well intended ones ("let me write down these other tasks and make a list!") , that you actually complete tasks. And complete another. And another until your whole dang house is clean and organized and now you can set a schedule for the next iteration. Again, I've never even been within one solar day of this.
Goodness if the bridge isn't the hard part for all this. This is still helpful for me to consider though, specifically focusing on working through tasks from beginning to end if I catch myself...
Goodness if the bridge isn't the hard part for all this. This is still helpful for me to consider though, specifically focusing on working through tasks from beginning to end if I catch myself sidetracked. Maybe the redirection practice helps over time? Still, thanks for sharing.
I try to have a singular to-do list/parking lot and then try to set reminders about those things. It's not perfect but it keeps me from staring at cleaning off the table and ending with an entire...
I try to have a singular to-do list/parking lot and then try to set reminders about those things. It's not perfect but it keeps me from staring at cleaning off the table and ending with an entire bookshelf dismantled on the floor with the contents stacked everywhere (and then I've run out of "do stuff" because I'm overwhelmed)
Yeah I’m gonna look into this. My work life is tragic and I could really use some help from someone who knows what’s going on lmao I swear I had to figure out so much on my own. On top of that you...
Yeah I’m gonna look into this. My work life is tragic and I could really use some help from someone who knows what’s going on lmao
I swear I had to figure out so much on my own. On top of that you gotta fight for people to believe you. Very draining!
I don't have the time right now to go in depth, I was about to close Tildes and step away when I saw this, but I do want to say that yes. I have this too. You aren't alone, and people can help....
I don't have the time right now to go in depth, I was about to close Tildes and step away when I saw this, but I do want to say that yes. I have this too. You aren't alone, and people can help.
Reading those symptoms can feel incredibly demoralizing doesn't it? That's ok, we're allowed to feel and accept that we were dealt a challenging hand. But also know that we have coping mechanisms and medication that can help us get through the difficult times.
If you haven't already, seek professional help. It made a huge difference for me.
I was diagnosed early in graduated school towards the end of COVID. I definitely cried then and still feel like crying from time to time for having to figure this part of myself out so "late" in...
I was diagnosed early in graduated school towards the end of COVID. I definitely cried then and still feel like crying from time to time for having to figure this part of myself out so "late" in life. I'm not old, I'm an elder zoomer technically, but I spent so much of my life fighting myself and feeling guilty for being unable to do things that are "simple" and things "everyone can do." I never got diagnosed as a kid because it never emerged as a learning difficulty. I learned quick, and while I was still struggling, it never manifested as bad grades. It wasn't until lockdown and still being a full time student that all the coping strategies I'd unknowingly been building up and relying on collapsed and I had no idea what was wrong. I couldn't function and couldn't figure out why I was struggling. So I pursued professional help thinking they were probably going to tell me I was depressed (which I was to a certain extent), because I still had the perception that most of my struggles was just something everyone experienced and just figured out how to work through.
That said, I had a nagging idea it could be ADHD. I had started getting a TON of ADHD content on Instagram and liked the posts because they were relatable and I thought they were relatable to everyone. I just thought it was a quirky "haha we all experience this stuff right? xD" kind of thing. It wasn't until I showed my spouse a post that I thought was super relatable, and they went "I don't get it," and I was like "what? Don't you experience that?" and they said "no I don't know what the post means" that I started to wonder if maybe my "normal" wasn't quite everyone's normal. .-.
So I don't love that I got nudged to a diagnosis by the algorithm, but it definitely gave me context and some anecdotal insights to start wrestling with the idea I might have ADHD. And yeah, started seeing a professional and sure enough, inattentive ADHD. (~_~;)
And the pain comes from 2 decades of schooling where I was really struggling despite appearances making it look like I was a model student. I was disorganized, my hands were always covered in reminders of what I needed to do because it was the only way I remembered assignments and responsibilities, and I really struggled to read. Which sucks because school is a lot of reading. But almost all the time I had to read I'd space out after a paragraph and then go back and read it again over and over. It showed up as problems with reading comprehension which always made me angry as a kid because it wasn't a matter of not understanding what I read. If I thought it was interesting I absolutely understood what I was reading. It was that I couldn't REMEMBER anything I'd just read which was agonizing. But then after starting medication I could actually remember what I'd read and it was like a whole new world of opportunity! I still struggle a bit with heavy or technical reading, especially when my brain is getting tired, but that part at least seems normal. The beauty though is I've been able to take joy in fun reading again because I can focus on what I'm reading. ^.^
I also have always struggled with remembering instructions which would lead to conflicts with my parents and a bit early in marriage (my spouse is very supportive and we're on this journey together, but early on there were frustrating moments trying to navigate things together). My dad especially just thought I wasn't listening to him. But nope, I absolutely understopd 100% of what he'd ask me to do, turn around and leave the room, and then immediately couldn't remember what he'd asked me to do after the first step.
And I know so many adults in my young life and my parents were doing the best they could. But it still hurts feeling like I was failed in some ways because non of them took a step back and went "hey maybe this behavior isn't 'normal.'" I so badly wish someone had caught it earlier because I feel like I would have enjoyed being a kid and young person so much more if I'd gotten support early on. But I'm doing the best I can now and at least I'm better equiped to advocate for others with similar experiences now.
This is 1000% me (and my dad, who I no doubt get it from), and I think everyone who knows me would agree intensely. I've never been diagnosed. I've made several attempts to, but it's just too hard...
This is 1000% me (and my dad, who I no doubt get it from), and I think everyone who knows me would agree intensely.
I've never been diagnosed. I've made several attempts to, but it's just too hard to follow through all the hoops to actually get an assessment — and testing out different medications and keeping up with prescriptions sounds exactly like the kind of wagon I constantly fall off of.
Yeah getting an assessment is a pain in the ass. I was lucky to go through my college’s psychology department. And as far as medication, there’s not that many to choose from. You either get...
Yeah getting an assessment is a pain in the ass. I was lucky to go through my college’s psychology department.
And as far as medication, there’s not that many to choose from. You either get stimulants or non-stimulants.
I took adderall and hated it. I took Vyvanse and I saw the light lol. But you’re not ready until you’re ready, so I get it
Unfortunately, even after assessment (which where I live is pretty extensive, including assorted heart tests that require multiple hospital visits), you do have to test out different strength...
Unfortunately, even after assessment (which where I live is pretty extensive, including assorted heart tests that require multiple hospital visits), you do have to test out different strength levels (unless you luck out and they get it right the first time), which means repeatedly bouncing back and forth between the doctor and the pharmacist for each prescription update. Then once you settle on a final strength, you have to keep refilling it forever and getting the prescription regularly renewed — and that's on top of navigating medication shortages, planning trips around your prescription refill/renewal schedule, combing through assorted local laws around possession of controlled substances whenever you travel, etc.
It's a big pain. I know it is because my partner (who is diagnosed with inattentive ADHD, although his symptoms are not nearly as severe as mine) has been navigating the system for years. He finally went off his medication because it was too much work to keep his prescription filled. I get that the medication itself makes work like that easier to tolerate, but even on a very strong dosage of Vyvanse, he was really struggling to juggle doctor's appointments, prescription refills, etc., and he often had to take days off work (very hard for him to do as a teacher) because the windows for refilling prescriptions for controlled substances are so tight. I think for someone with milder ADHD or who doesn't work full-time, or for someone who lives in a place with lax drug laws, it's probably a pretty navigable system, but I can't see how to make it work for myself.
It is a huge pain, but tbqh I do think this comment reads like using the annoyances of getting prescribed ADHD medication as an excuse to not even try to get on medication. You can make your own...
It is a huge pain, but tbqh I do think this comment reads like using the annoyances of getting prescribed ADHD medication as an excuse to not even try to get on medication. You can make your own decisions, ofc, and if medication isn't right for you, then go ahead, live your life. But this rationale reads like the way my brain thinks when I'm trying to convince myself that it's not worth doing something difficult that I know I should do, and I think sharing my own experiences here might help others in these comments who are hesitant to try to start on the bullshit involved in getting medicated for ADHD and feeling the same way.
When I lived in Germany, I lived an hour train ride from my pharmacist and I had to take off work once a quarter to physically go there and pick up my prescription for my ADHD meds (and while we were first adjusting dosage, I did indeed need to visit a bunch in quicker succession). Not sure why you'd need to include another doctor if you already have a psychiatrist though, as they can handle prescribing and finding the right dose themselves, but in Germany GPs never prescribe ADHD meds whereas in the US they often do, so that may be a factor -- but that's a factor that likely it more convenient for you once you've found a dose that works for you, because it doesn't require you to continuously see a psychiatrist alongside your GP for this one medication like I had to. I also had to get my heart checked, but that involved one doctor's visit to get an EKG after the two hour-long sessions with a therapist in which I got officially diagnosed. It wasn't trivial, but compared to more serious medical procedures with lots of bureaucracy, it was a breeze. There are ofc struggles like those you mentioned -- in Germany I had to get a new prescription several times because of weird rules about how quickly you had to fill your prescription, and I had to get a physical paper prescription unlike the electronic kind you can get in the US. I had situations where I went without my medication for a short period because either I fucked up or there was a shortage. It can be a huge pain in the ass.
But the degree to which this was a pain in the ass -- and it's a bigger pain in the ass in Germany than here in the States for sure -- was so far outweighed by the degree to which it improves my life when I take it regularly. My ability to take care of household chores, do anything that requires sitting down and focusing on something not super fun (desk-job work, applying for jobs, etc), keep up with refilling other medications that severely impact my health? It's like night and day when I'm on my ADHD medication, and that difference is worth every stupid hoop I need to jump through to stay on that medication. I would never have gotten all the bureaucratic nonsense needed for my top surgery together and actually gotten it done while I was able to on public healthcare if I hadn't been on ADHD medication -- if you think getting ADHD meds is hard, look into the process of getting approved for gender-affirming surgery in any country without informed consent clinics. My ADHD medication has also had a stabilizing effect on my mood, to the extent that I was able to go off the SSRI I was on because between my ADHD medication, my thyroid medication, and some lifestyle changes (go outside regularly if you can guys), my depression symptoms were largely gone and I didn't need that added treatment. The benefits from being on my meds have been so stark that there has never been a moment where I thought that they were not worth all the faff involved in getting prescribed them in the first place. My only regret has been not getting medicated earlier.
Yes, the system makes it hard to get medicated and is deliberately hostile to those trying to get stimulant medication in ways that are especially hard for those of us with ADHD. That doesn't give you an excuse to not even try. Sometimes you have to do hard things that suck. That's just life. Medication makes that a lot easier once you're on it, but it never becomes sunshine and rainbows. I would be hesitant to label anyone who has successfully forced themselves to endure that hardship to get and stay medicated as having less severe ADHD than you -- that feels like another excuse to let yourself write off medication as a possibility. If you haven't even tried and failed, then you're the real barrier here.
I have made repeated attempts to get diagnosed since ~2017, though I admittedly gave up over a year ago. I live in Australia, which for the most part has a pretty smooth healthcare system, but...
I have made repeated attempts to get diagnosed since ~2017, though I admittedly gave up over a year ago.
I live in Australia, which for the most part has a pretty smooth healthcare system, but ADHD is a weirdly stark exception.
Here, you have to get a referral from a GP before you can see a psychologist. My experiences pre-COVID were that GPs were extremely reluctant to give out these referrals and insisted that I couldn't have ADHD because I was able to focus on the conversation with them. I did finally manage to get one referral after trying several times with different GPs, but the psychologist he sent me to refused to do an assessment because, in her words, "I don't believe in labeling people". She just wanted to do talk therapy.
Then COVID happened, we went into lockdown, and I stopped making unnecessary trips to medical facilities.
After the lockdowns, I started trying again, and I suddenly (for reasons I still don't entirely understand) had much more success finding GPs willing to give me a referral. In fact, every single GP I went to basically said, "Yep, you obviously have ADHD." The problem was that none of them knew who to refer me to. Every referral I got ended up being to a psychologist who was not accepting any new patients, even just for a one-time assessment, so I kept having to go back to the GP to try a new referral.
Finally, I got a GP who said to call around and find a psychologist with an opening, and then call her immediately on her personal mobile after so she could get me a referral ASAP before the opening closed. But I called and I called every psychologist I could find listed (I live rural, so not a lot of options unfortunately, but I was willing to drive 3+ hours to see one), but none had any openings and weren't willing to book me more than 6 months ahead. After months of trying to find anybody willing to see me, I finally gave up and decided to devote my free time to other endeavors (including, unfortunately, a more pressing medical issue that came up).
My partner had more success (he found a psychologist willing to book him an appointment a year ahead), but the whole process of getting diagnosed still took him quite a bit longer than that because the assessment required multiple appointments. The heart tests were quick, at least (Australia's good at heart stuff). But ultimately, as I already described, he found that the benefits of the medication proved not worth the ongoing effort of managing renewals and refills, frequently missing doses due to shortages, and having it interfere with travel. He's much (and I mean much) better at dealing with that particular flavor of hoop-jumping than I am.
As I mentioned, Australia's healthcare system is usually much more responsive and easy to work with. For every other medical concern I've had, I've never had any issues booking appointments, getting referrals, getting assessments, refilling prescriptions, renewing prescriptions, etc. I can almost always book appointments within 24 hours, get a referral to see a specialist within a few days, get my prescriptions overlapped so I don't run out, etc.
But for some reason, ADHD seems to be uniquely difficult to navigate. Even immigrating (from my first backpacker's visa all the way to full dual citizenship) was easier and faster.
Hello, fellow zoner outer! I'm old enough to remember the days when the 'H' wasn't included when people talked about ADHD, so I (jokingly) like to refer to my situation as 'classic ADD - no H' or...
Hello, fellow zoner outer! I'm old enough to remember the days when the 'H' wasn't included when people talked about ADHD, so I (jokingly) like to refer to my situation as 'classic ADD - no H' or (this might not be the best place for this, but it's with 100% unseriousness) "the lazy version, not the crazy version."
Like you, reading the strengths and weaknesses feels like I'm reading my own scouting report. I'd love to know the stats on how much time I've spent looking for stuff throughout my life. I'd put the over/under at about 5000 hours lol. High school wasn't the best, especially since I was already hostile to the concept busy work, but I feel like it might've helped me in college. I majored in history and always got nice feedback for my writing and analysis* which is nice because the wrong book can have me circling back to the same paragraph a dozen times and I'm an extremely slow writer. I'll think of a great sentence midway through the one I'm working on and just bounce around sections - actually, I kind of do that with tasks in my day-to-day life as well. Clean a little bit of the room, go do a few dishes, back to the room, etc. etc.
I didn't know about the emotionally attuned thinking bit. That might explain some of the positive feedback I've received from my romantic partners. I finally started taking meds for it in my early 30s and it was like I was in the movie Limitless. If I attribute the "strengths" to the diagnosis the way I do with the "weaknesses" then all in all I'd say it's a wash as far as the negative/positive aspects are concerned.
*if that comes as a surprise given my comment history, it's because I shoot from the hip 95% of the time. And I'm stupid, but that's a separate issue.
I'm curious why you would suggest that inattentiveness is forgotten when squirrel its symptoms are the classic symptoms of a disorder that many people still call just ADD.
I'm curious why you would suggest that inattentiveness is forgotten when squirrel its symptoms are the classic symptoms of a disorder that many people still call just ADD.
Because that isn't how the diagnosis is presented to a lot of folks, especially to children and boys, and the lack of hyperactivity resulted in many people going undiagnosed for quite a while....
Because that isn't how the diagnosis is presented to a lot of folks, especially to children and boys, and the lack of hyperactivity resulted in many people going undiagnosed for quite a while. Plus "squirrel" is often presented as part of hyperactivity, not just inattentiveness.
This feels really unnecessary as a response to someone who said reading these symptoms made them want to cry and who seems to be looking for support and connection. Even if it was simply their own experience and perception.
For me, there is no "squirrel" diversion of attention because mid conversation with you, I've drifted off in my own head: I can't hear/see/perceive there is a squirrel, and in fact I've stopped...
For me, there is no "squirrel" diversion of attention because mid conversation with you, I've drifted off in my own head: I can't hear/see/perceive there is a squirrel, and in fact I've stopped listening to you as well, I am making semi-coherent mimic responses only.
I have ooh shiny responses but the mind fixated on something else and I'm 2-7 side tracks down the rail line before coming back to the main conversation is much more common. Especially in adulthood
I have ooh shiny responses but the mind fixated on something else and I'm 2-7 side tracks down the rail line before coming back to the main conversation is much more common. Especially in adulthood
They diagnosed me with this and “Asperger’s” as a child in the 90s, but as an adult I’m incredibly organized and have rigid routines. My theory is that I perhaps on the outside fit the criteria...
They diagnosed me with this and “Asperger’s” as a child in the 90s, but as an adult I’m incredibly organized and have rigid routines.
My theory is that I perhaps on the outside fit the criteria for this as a child in school because I would cope with the overstimulation by escaping into my own head, but I never actually had ADHD.
OTOH my understanding is that one of the best ways of learning to cope with ADHD is to develop rigid routines to help keep you organized. Entirely possible that your childhood diagnosis set you up...
OTOH my understanding is that one of the best ways of learning to cope with ADHD is to develop rigid routines to help keep you organized.
Entirely possible that your childhood diagnosis set you up for success that gave you the tools you need to not let it rule your life long term.
Autism and ADHD have plenty of comorbidity and diagnoses can swing both ways. So common I personally know a couple of people that were diagnosed as the former at a young age and, likely correctly,...
Autism and ADHD have plenty of comorbidity and diagnoses can swing both ways. So common I personally know a couple of people that were diagnosed as the former at a young age and, likely correctly, the latter later in life.
It's always a shame that I know a rigid routine will help me, but being in one feels like I'm suffocating. This is where my decades old bad habits tend to violently struggle against the stranglehold of a disciplined routine.
Ive never felt suffocated by myself, but there is an air of crazy to me that my autism is always at odds with. I don’t feel crazy, but Ive had at least one manic episode and during that episode a...
Ive never felt suffocated by myself, but there is an air of crazy to me that my autism is always at odds with. I don’t feel crazy, but Ive had at least one manic episode and during that episode a side effect was “autism routines be damned” cause I felt like I was in control and regulated such that I didn’t need to do all that.
Normally, though, the routines are what my brain does to help process the sensory input from my day. Without it I cant think, I cant unpack feelings and put them away, I cant understand why people say things that don’t make sense because my brain didn’t process the subtle voice tone or body movement that was supposed to support what the words. Going through the routine though, it suddenly occurs to me what happened. I need the routine. I feel really confused and lost without it.
Entirely possible There is one specific skill that I remember clearly from the little bit of therapy I did get, and the skill is in remembering what you were doing before you got distracted,...
Entirely possible
There is one specific skill that I remember clearly from the little bit of therapy I did get, and the skill is in remembering what you were doing before you got distracted, rather than just trying not to get distracted. My short term memory was always really good (I vaguely remember from the tests when I was first diagnosed) but I think they spent a lot of time with me just practicing short term memory skills.
I am naturally just really crazy organized in that classic autism way, though. I always have been, even when my internal organization clashed with my teachers version which it often did. I do things a certain specific way because reasons and I just have to do it in that way. When I'm tired, I drop steps in a certain specific way, too.
One of the biggest problems in the gordian knot of mental health issues is the overlapping of symptoms, and how the idiosyncrasies from one can compensate or exacerbate for others. At the end of...
One of the biggest problems in the gordian knot of mental health issues is the overlapping of symptoms, and how the idiosyncrasies from one can compensate or exacerbate for others.
The misdiagnosis actually did a lot of damage. I definitely could have benefited from a proper diagnosis and proper accommodations as a child. I missed out on a lot of education because I couldn't...
The misdiagnosis actually did a lot of damage. I definitely could have benefited from a proper diagnosis and proper accommodations as a child. I missed out on a lot of education because I couldn't function in a classroom of 30+ other kids. I very nearly failed out of high school, and would have failed out if it weren't for no child left behind. For example, I used to purposely sleep deprive myself so that I could sleep through class and not have to experience it.
They put me on medication when I was 8 which was later disapproved for children under 18. I remember being able to easily follow any instruction, see connections easily, and just generally retain information as a small child, and I haven't been able to do that since the medication. I stopped taking the medication on my own without Dr. supervision in high school, and that was also incredibly damaging. I don't remember any of my freshman year, when I was going through withdrawl.
I ended up okay in the end, but having proper support could have made my life so much easier.
Formally, I exhibited hyperactivity as a child, so I'mnot sure if I'm primarily inattentive. But throughout my early teens and beyond I've definitely just been inattentive, with any hyperactivity...
Formally, I exhibited hyperactivity as a child, so I'mnot sure if I'm primarily inattentive. But throughout my early teens and beyond I've definitely just been inattentive, with any hyperactivity being relegated to a bunch of ticks/habits.
But regardless, I know exactly how you feel because I went through the exact same motions last year, at the ripe young age of 30, when my friend (also diagnosed) convinced me to look into ADHD and the more I read about it the more I felt like I was reading an autobiography. Finally, just before turning 31, I was officially diagnosed and medicated and am now still learning how to "function" after 3 decades of complete dysfunction.
All this to say you are absolutely not alone and ADHD is extremely underdiagnosed in general, especially in adults. It's normal to feel like you're just now discovering who you are and understand why the world around you feels the way it does.
How to deal with it will vary from person to person but in my case my executive dysfunction was exacerbating so many other mental problems (as it turns out, when you can't focus you also can't do a good job and end up falling behind which only stresses you out more) that stimulant medication was definitely the way forward for me, especially after trying anti depressants and none of them helping. After some months on my medication (Lisdexamfetamine, brand name Elvanse or VyVanse) I was able to do tasks I wanted which slowly improved my outlook on life in general, especially the constant mental spiraling and ruminating. Hell, now I'm even starting to exercise regularly and have lost 15 kg just because I can think of something and do it instead of constally hopping from thought to thought.
When you're officially diagnosed it takes a lot of effort to "unlearn" the bad habits you've built over the years, but there is always a way forward and you're never alone.
Yeah dude I’m on Vyvanse too and it’s like someone flicked on the light in my brain. I couldn’t believe the difference it made haha I’ve been on it for a couple years now, but I’ve been living...
Yeah dude I’m on Vyvanse too and it’s like someone flicked on the light in my brain. I couldn’t believe the difference it made haha
I’ve been on it for a couple years now, but I’ve been living life in more alignment with ADHD and I’ve lost 20lbs since last year. It’s wild how help was right there, but nobody noticed until adulthood
Longer than me, then! The best way I like to describe it is I spent 30 years living with one brain. Now I'm learning how to use a different brain. Feels like magic for us who never knew any other...
Longer than me, then!
The best way I like to describe it is I spent 30 years living with one brain. Now I'm learning how to use a different brain. Feels like magic for us who never knew any other way. And yeah, my life completely changed too.
The only thing I regret, but try not to dwell on too hard, is not getting help sooner, especially because I was diagnosed with hyperactivity as a child and the pediatrician just never followed up with any treatment because I "calmed down" later on, which I only learned as an adult was just me masking my symptoms.
So much masking. I had this “in the closet” feeling and I couldn’t figure out what it was. Turns out I was just hiding my neurodivergence. It’s kinda sad how long I went on like this, but I like...
So much masking. I had this “in the closet” feeling and I couldn’t figure out what it was. Turns out I was just hiding my neurodivergence. It’s kinda sad how long I went on like this, but I like the person I am today so 🤷🏿♂️
I'm diagnosed with combined type myself, but both my childhood experiences and my struggles in adulthood reflect that the inattentive-type symptoms are the bigger deal and disrupt my life more....
I'm diagnosed with combined type myself, but both my childhood experiences and my struggles in adulthood reflect that the inattentive-type symptoms are the bigger deal and disrupt my life more. Getting diagnosed as an adult changed my life, and a lot of my biggest regrets result from not getting diagnosed and on medication sooner.
I realized very often my response to "how are you doing" is "man I'm tired." And I realized, I'm just always tired even after a good night of sleep. Guess it comes with the territory, but it feels...
I realized very often my response to "how are you doing" is "man I'm tired." And I realized, I'm just always tired even after a good night of sleep. Guess it comes with the territory, but it feels like I've been tired for as long as I've been forming memories.
ADHD-PI here. I'm not medicated because though meds are effective, I can't deal with the side effects (at least the ones that can be prescribed here). I don't drink caffeine/alcohol, smoke or do...
ADHD-PI here. I'm not medicated because though meds are effective, I can't deal with the side effects (at least the ones that can be prescribed here). I don't drink caffeine/alcohol, smoke or do drugs either. Just out here rawdogging life as some people say. Unfortunately that means I cope by letting anxiety take the wheel. Fear is a great motivator, but incredibly exhausting.
Some weird tips I find have helped somewhat:
Don't sit down. Just don't. If you sit down you're going to be absorbed by something (phone, book, staring at the wall) and time will disappear.
If you have trouble getting something done, find the starting point of least resistance, then go through each step one by one until you've built enough momentum to keep going. Have to write an assignment? Don't think about the assignment itself. Tell yourself you just have to go get your laptop. Then once you've done that, tell yourself you need to open your laptop. Then turn it on. Then log in. And so on. Don't think three steps ahead, just focus on completing the very next step you need to take.
I like to think my brain's "auto-save" mode is broken or very unreliable. For important items, like wallet, keys, passports/ID etc, try keep them consistently in the same one or two places. Don't buy multiple handbags or backpacks if you can avoid it, or stick to mainly using just one or two to carry your stuff. It'll save you time when you're frantically looking for something.
Work from home is a godsend, but I find hybrid is best to keep me in check.
When walking around places I've been to dozens of times (even just outside my own place), I'll often remark with delight that they've opened a new shop or restaurant, or whatever. My wife will then tell me the place has been there for months/years, I just didn't notice. This happens at least a couple of times a month, sometimes more. I tell myself the world is full of wonder and whimsy. Places I've been to multiple times have something new and exciting all the time. No point in being upset at myself for not noticing.
People will tell you to bullet journal, set calendar reminders, write post-its, etc and THAT technique will be the one to help you remember things. Once the novelty wears off each of those things stops working for me. So I use whatever seems to work at the moment. Sometimes it's a post-it, sometimes it's a note on my work calendar, sometimes it's an alarm. Don't feel bad if something seemed to work for you then suddenly it doesn't. It happens to a lot of us.
Don't accept leaflets/brochures, just take a picture on your phone or go immediately on the website, or take down the phone number. Those things have a way of getting in the house and collecting dust for ages.
There's probably more but I can't think of anything additional for now.
I don’t (as far as I know), but my wife does. She figured out that she likely did during college, but didn’t get her official diagnosis until she was working on her Ph.D (actually got the results...
I don’t (as far as I know), but my wife does. She figured out that she likely did during college, but didn’t get her official diagnosis until she was working on her Ph.D (actually got the results during one of the important milestones, which was a whole can of worms to both process & then start meds during).
She studies psychology and so identified a lot of her own symptoms, but also was mitigating a lot of them with that knowledge. After we moved in together (and had better insurance), she finally went to try to get an official diagnosis to get meds to help.
ADHD-PI over here. No time to participate in the thread atm, just wanted to leave a note. I was finally diagnosed in my 40s because although according to one doctor I am a textbook case, being a...
ADHD-PI over here. No time to participate in the thread atm, just wanted to leave a note. I was finally diagnosed in my 40s because although according to one doctor I am a textbook case, being a woman and having the inattentive type had me fly under the radar. It's awful but knowing what it is means you'll be able to slowly make things better for yourself. Good luck!
Me. Diagnosed with add when I was ~8 in the 90s. Ritalin during school & uni, though at a "near homoeopathic dose" towards the end and didn't bother continuing when it became my responsibility as...
Me. Diagnosed with add when I was ~8 in the 90s.
Ritalin during school & uni, though at a "near homoeopathic dose" towards the end and didn't bother continuing when it became my responsibility as an adult to gp and psych appointments to get more.
Education & career path narrowed to the shit I was naturally gifted and very interested in: fucking around with websites. Coming up to about 15 years as a full stack developer.
Some career 'missteps' along the way where I probably could have jumped employers or promotions sooner but didn't because...meh.
Been using Ritalin again for the past 3 years. It and coffee are really the only drugs I take. I don't drink alcohol, except maybe one or two beers at very infrequent (less than annual) social events, like work Christmas parties.
I’m not diagnosed, but i think this is probably me. Certain things or scenarios (like being under pressure) hold my attention extremely well though, so I’m not sure. But most of the other symptoms...
I’m not diagnosed, but i think this is probably me.
Certain things or scenarios (like being under pressure) hold my attention extremely well though, so I’m not sure. But most of the other symptoms describe me.
One thing I’ve noticed that I’m not sure is normal: when I go walking I will often want to think about X. However, my train of thought drifts repeatedly off X and it’s difficult for me to remain focused on X. Does that happen to anyone else?
Inattentiveness usually stems from under stimulation. ADHD-i folk can easily focus on something that they find interesting and they often perform really well under stress or get spurred into...
Inattentiveness usually stems from under stimulation. ADHD-i folk can easily focus on something that they find interesting and they often perform really well under stress or get spurred into action by a looming deadline. It's when they can't pull away because the consequences are too dire that they may focus to their hearts content. Look, most people have done the "crap I needed to finish this before tomorrow so I'm pulling an all nighter", ADHD kids just do that almost every time.
I'm sure that plenty of people here will understand me if I say that I hyper focused on the wrong thing again.
Sustained focus is the big issue with adhd lol, but also it could just be normal distraction. Not saying you don’t tho. Overall ADHD tends to show up in a bunch of other places and interrupt...
Sustained focus is the big issue with adhd lol, but also it could just be normal distraction. Not saying you don’t tho. Overall ADHD tends to show up in a bunch of other places and interrupt normal functioning
Hi, hello yes! Welcome to the club! My post history for the last 6 months on tildes has been (mostly) a mix of getting diagnosed, relationship troubles and resulting therapy/life changes. If...
Hi, hello yes! Welcome to the club! My post history for the last 6 months on tildes has been (mostly) a mix of getting diagnosed, relationship troubles and resulting therapy/life changes.
If you're interested, I'd say pull up and chair and have a scroll, you might find some of what I've written relatable as someone else who has the same diagnosis.
I'd like to post more, but I'm on holiday! So hopefully catch this at a more suitable time!
Raises hand. Yep, me too. Formally diagnosed ADD as a child, back when it was called ADD and not ADHD. Self-diagnosed inattentive-type much more recently in life when doing research. All together...
Raises hand.
Yep, me too. Formally diagnosed ADD as a child, back when it was called ADD and not ADHD. Self-diagnosed inattentive-type much more recently in life when doing research. All together AuDHD as I'm on the Autistic spectrum as well.
Primary issues experienced: highly limited executive function / 'will/drive to do stuff' - highly exacerbated since burning out on a job that demanded 80-100 hours a week / 7 days a week. Limited / broken attention span for things I don't find interesting. High ability to do stuff that is interesting to me. Very high intelligence related to logic/STEM/objective data, very low emotional and social intelligence - pretty sure that last one is more from the Autism spectrum.
As of... maybe a year ago? As of recently I had access to health insurance for a while through my girlfriend's job and availed myself of mental health services, got on Vyvanse and Welbutrin. That has helped somewhat - my general strategy to get anything done was to use large amounts of caffeine.
I've transitioned to working mostly from home, refurbishing and selling lab electronics on eBay/FB Marketplace/Craigslist (I've been an electronics nerd since I was a kid) and that works reasonably well for me so long as I can put in at least minimal hours a month. Can't imagine going back to 'normal' 9-5 type work.
I was diagnosed with Primarily Inattentive ADHD in college and never put too much stock into the diagnosis because I'm not hyperactive. But the main issue with inattentive ADHDfocus, not hyperactivity. That lack of hyperactivity is also why it goes unnoticed and under-diagnosed.
I'm reading up on Primarily Inattentive ADHD years later and it makes me want to cry. It feels weird seeing my life and personality being summarized in a list of systems. Not just the DSM-V symptoms like forgetfulness and attention drifting, but also the tendency towards deep thought or coming off as shy and reserved.
Here's some snippets from the link:
Most commonly recognised inattentive symptoms:
Younger children:
Strengths:
Almost everything I read on here resonated with me. From the issues to the strengths. I was just wondering if anyone else is dealing with ADHD-PI and how yall are dealing with it.
Present. It does make me wonder how much of me is actually personality, vs symptoms and fallout from not having accommodations when young.
Congratulations on your diagnosis, and may your future be filled with positive changes, kindness to yourself and healing.
PS: executive functioning occupational therapy helped me a lot.
Wait what? This is a thing?
Yeah I just found out last year. They exist for children's therapy but I managed to find ones geared specifically towards adults, some even with a focus on career management for neurodiverse women. My extended health plan covers a little bit too, btw, under OT.
It's like, if OT exists for the elderly on how to use a stove or remember to take meds or safely locking the door without stove on etc, they have them for other kinds of memory / attention / goal setting / following through / shame-guilt-procrastination management etc.
One of the most useful advice: do non-preferred task first each day, and DO NOT "optimize" by switching task --- it is paramount to finish first even if it's completely more efficient to "let me just slip this in alongside". Don't do it. Finish the one first however many you just notice on the way you can add.
Do you have a good technique for not forgetting the other tasks that you notice along the way?
I find I'm generally pretty good at jotting things down, as long as it's very easy to. I keep whiteboard markers on my fridge (in a little magnetic holder) and write quick notes and lists directly on the fridge. Then later, I take a photo of those notes on my phone to keep as a to-do list.
The tricky part, for me, isn't finishing tasks. That's easy. Once I get started, nothing will stop me — not even finishing the task. I'll over-polish it just to keep going. (People think I'm perfectionistic for this reason, but actually I just can't stop thinking about whatever it is I've been working on.)
What's hard is actually getting started on new tasks. I do have some thoughts on how to do that, at least for certain kinds of tasks, but this is definitely my biggest weakness.
Not to engage with any of the other task is to ensure at least one thing gets get.
How to get the rest of them done has a whole bunch of other associated techniques. Example, once your one thing is done, pick up another and do that to completion. Repeat until you walk around house and you literally don't see any other stray tasks. I haven't gotten there yet.
There's schedules and reminders and routines etc which none of them work for me. So far. That's where the actual fix is but I don't know how to bridge into that yet. I think the idea is that you spend time rejecting interruptions, including bad ones ("phone!") as well as well intended ones ("let me write down these other tasks and make a list!") , that you actually complete tasks. And complete another. And another until your whole dang house is clean and organized and now you can set a schedule for the next iteration. Again, I've never even been within one solar day of this.
Goodness if the bridge isn't the hard part for all this. This is still helpful for me to consider though, specifically focusing on working through tasks from beginning to end if I catch myself sidetracked. Maybe the redirection practice helps over time? Still, thanks for sharing.
I try to have a singular to-do list/parking lot and then try to set reminders about those things. It's not perfect but it keeps me from staring at cleaning off the table and ending with an entire bookshelf dismantled on the floor with the contents stacked everywhere (and then I've run out of "do stuff" because I'm overwhelmed)
What, you don't start mowing the lawn by organizing that drawer of computer parts that you've accumulated for 30 years?
Weird.
No, I can't. I have to leave four hours from now.
Well I just bought my first lawn mower in over a decade, so... Yeah.
Yeah T.T
Yeah I’m gonna look into this. My work life is tragic and I could really use some help from someone who knows what’s going on lmao
I swear I had to figure out so much on my own. On top of that you gotta fight for people to believe you. Very draining!
I don't have the time right now to go in depth, I was about to close Tildes and step away when I saw this, but I do want to say that yes. I have this too. You aren't alone, and people can help.
Reading those symptoms can feel incredibly demoralizing doesn't it? That's ok, we're allowed to feel and accept that we were dealt a challenging hand. But also know that we have coping mechanisms and medication that can help us get through the difficult times.
If you haven't already, seek professional help. It made a huge difference for me.
Oh yeah I'm in therapy, take meds, all that jazz. Been doing it for years.
But I saw this article and it blew my mind exactly they described me lol
I was diagnosed early in graduated school towards the end of COVID. I definitely cried then and still feel like crying from time to time for having to figure this part of myself out so "late" in life. I'm not old, I'm an elder zoomer technically, but I spent so much of my life fighting myself and feeling guilty for being unable to do things that are "simple" and things "everyone can do." I never got diagnosed as a kid because it never emerged as a learning difficulty. I learned quick, and while I was still struggling, it never manifested as bad grades. It wasn't until lockdown and still being a full time student that all the coping strategies I'd unknowingly been building up and relying on collapsed and I had no idea what was wrong. I couldn't function and couldn't figure out why I was struggling. So I pursued professional help thinking they were probably going to tell me I was depressed (which I was to a certain extent), because I still had the perception that most of my struggles was just something everyone experienced and just figured out how to work through.
That said, I had a nagging idea it could be ADHD. I had started getting a TON of ADHD content on Instagram and liked the posts because they were relatable and I thought they were relatable to everyone. I just thought it was a quirky "haha we all experience this stuff right? xD" kind of thing. It wasn't until I showed my spouse a post that I thought was super relatable, and they went "I don't get it," and I was like "what? Don't you experience that?" and they said "no I don't know what the post means" that I started to wonder if maybe my "normal" wasn't quite everyone's normal. .-.
So I don't love that I got nudged to a diagnosis by the algorithm, but it definitely gave me context and some anecdotal insights to start wrestling with the idea I might have ADHD. And yeah, started seeing a professional and sure enough, inattentive ADHD. (~_~;)
And the pain comes from 2 decades of schooling where I was really struggling despite appearances making it look like I was a model student. I was disorganized, my hands were always covered in reminders of what I needed to do because it was the only way I remembered assignments and responsibilities, and I really struggled to read. Which sucks because school is a lot of reading. But almost all the time I had to read I'd space out after a paragraph and then go back and read it again over and over. It showed up as problems with reading comprehension which always made me angry as a kid because it wasn't a matter of not understanding what I read. If I thought it was interesting I absolutely understood what I was reading. It was that I couldn't REMEMBER anything I'd just read which was agonizing. But then after starting medication I could actually remember what I'd read and it was like a whole new world of opportunity! I still struggle a bit with heavy or technical reading, especially when my brain is getting tired, but that part at least seems normal. The beauty though is I've been able to take joy in fun reading again because I can focus on what I'm reading. ^.^
I also have always struggled with remembering instructions which would lead to conflicts with my parents and a bit early in marriage (my spouse is very supportive and we're on this journey together, but early on there were frustrating moments trying to navigate things together). My dad especially just thought I wasn't listening to him. But nope, I absolutely understopd 100% of what he'd ask me to do, turn around and leave the room, and then immediately couldn't remember what he'd asked me to do after the first step.
And I know so many adults in my young life and my parents were doing the best they could. But it still hurts feeling like I was failed in some ways because non of them took a step back and went "hey maybe this behavior isn't 'normal.'" I so badly wish someone had caught it earlier because I feel like I would have enjoyed being a kid and young person so much more if I'd gotten support early on. But I'm doing the best I can now and at least I'm better equiped to advocate for others with similar experiences now.
This is 1000% me (and my dad, who I no doubt get it from), and I think everyone who knows me would agree intensely.
I've never been diagnosed. I've made several attempts to, but it's just too hard to follow through all the hoops to actually get an assessment — and testing out different medications and keeping up with prescriptions sounds exactly like the kind of wagon I constantly fall off of.
Yeah getting an assessment is a pain in the ass. I was lucky to go through my college’s psychology department.
And as far as medication, there’s not that many to choose from. You either get stimulants or non-stimulants.
I took adderall and hated it. I took Vyvanse and I saw the light lol. But you’re not ready until you’re ready, so I get it
Unfortunately, even after assessment (which where I live is pretty extensive, including assorted heart tests that require multiple hospital visits), you do have to test out different strength levels (unless you luck out and they get it right the first time), which means repeatedly bouncing back and forth between the doctor and the pharmacist for each prescription update. Then once you settle on a final strength, you have to keep refilling it forever and getting the prescription regularly renewed — and that's on top of navigating medication shortages, planning trips around your prescription refill/renewal schedule, combing through assorted local laws around possession of controlled substances whenever you travel, etc.
It's a big pain. I know it is because my partner (who is diagnosed with inattentive ADHD, although his symptoms are not nearly as severe as mine) has been navigating the system for years. He finally went off his medication because it was too much work to keep his prescription filled. I get that the medication itself makes work like that easier to tolerate, but even on a very strong dosage of Vyvanse, he was really struggling to juggle doctor's appointments, prescription refills, etc., and he often had to take days off work (very hard for him to do as a teacher) because the windows for refilling prescriptions for controlled substances are so tight. I think for someone with milder ADHD or who doesn't work full-time, or for someone who lives in a place with lax drug laws, it's probably a pretty navigable system, but I can't see how to make it work for myself.
It is a huge pain, but tbqh I do think this comment reads like using the annoyances of getting prescribed ADHD medication as an excuse to not even try to get on medication. You can make your own decisions, ofc, and if medication isn't right for you, then go ahead, live your life. But this rationale reads like the way my brain thinks when I'm trying to convince myself that it's not worth doing something difficult that I know I should do, and I think sharing my own experiences here might help others in these comments who are hesitant to try to start on the bullshit involved in getting medicated for ADHD and feeling the same way.
When I lived in Germany, I lived an hour train ride from my pharmacist and I had to take off work once a quarter to physically go there and pick up my prescription for my ADHD meds (and while we were first adjusting dosage, I did indeed need to visit a bunch in quicker succession). Not sure why you'd need to include another doctor if you already have a psychiatrist though, as they can handle prescribing and finding the right dose themselves, but in Germany GPs never prescribe ADHD meds whereas in the US they often do, so that may be a factor -- but that's a factor that likely it more convenient for you once you've found a dose that works for you, because it doesn't require you to continuously see a psychiatrist alongside your GP for this one medication like I had to. I also had to get my heart checked, but that involved one doctor's visit to get an EKG after the two hour-long sessions with a therapist in which I got officially diagnosed. It wasn't trivial, but compared to more serious medical procedures with lots of bureaucracy, it was a breeze. There are ofc struggles like those you mentioned -- in Germany I had to get a new prescription several times because of weird rules about how quickly you had to fill your prescription, and I had to get a physical paper prescription unlike the electronic kind you can get in the US. I had situations where I went without my medication for a short period because either I fucked up or there was a shortage. It can be a huge pain in the ass.
But the degree to which this was a pain in the ass -- and it's a bigger pain in the ass in Germany than here in the States for sure -- was so far outweighed by the degree to which it improves my life when I take it regularly. My ability to take care of household chores, do anything that requires sitting down and focusing on something not super fun (desk-job work, applying for jobs, etc), keep up with refilling other medications that severely impact my health? It's like night and day when I'm on my ADHD medication, and that difference is worth every stupid hoop I need to jump through to stay on that medication. I would never have gotten all the bureaucratic nonsense needed for my top surgery together and actually gotten it done while I was able to on public healthcare if I hadn't been on ADHD medication -- if you think getting ADHD meds is hard, look into the process of getting approved for gender-affirming surgery in any country without informed consent clinics. My ADHD medication has also had a stabilizing effect on my mood, to the extent that I was able to go off the SSRI I was on because between my ADHD medication, my thyroid medication, and some lifestyle changes (go outside regularly if you can guys), my depression symptoms were largely gone and I didn't need that added treatment. The benefits from being on my meds have been so stark that there has never been a moment where I thought that they were not worth all the faff involved in getting prescribed them in the first place. My only regret has been not getting medicated earlier.
Yes, the system makes it hard to get medicated and is deliberately hostile to those trying to get stimulant medication in ways that are especially hard for those of us with ADHD. That doesn't give you an excuse to not even try. Sometimes you have to do hard things that suck. That's just life. Medication makes that a lot easier once you're on it, but it never becomes sunshine and rainbows. I would be hesitant to label anyone who has successfully forced themselves to endure that hardship to get and stay medicated as having less severe ADHD than you -- that feels like another excuse to let yourself write off medication as a possibility. If you haven't even tried and failed, then you're the real barrier here.
I have made repeated attempts to get diagnosed since ~2017, though I admittedly gave up over a year ago.
I live in Australia, which for the most part has a pretty smooth healthcare system, but ADHD is a weirdly stark exception.
Here, you have to get a referral from a GP before you can see a psychologist. My experiences pre-COVID were that GPs were extremely reluctant to give out these referrals and insisted that I couldn't have ADHD because I was able to focus on the conversation with them. I did finally manage to get one referral after trying several times with different GPs, but the psychologist he sent me to refused to do an assessment because, in her words, "I don't believe in labeling people". She just wanted to do talk therapy.
Then COVID happened, we went into lockdown, and I stopped making unnecessary trips to medical facilities.
After the lockdowns, I started trying again, and I suddenly (for reasons I still don't entirely understand) had much more success finding GPs willing to give me a referral. In fact, every single GP I went to basically said, "Yep, you obviously have ADHD." The problem was that none of them knew who to refer me to. Every referral I got ended up being to a psychologist who was not accepting any new patients, even just for a one-time assessment, so I kept having to go back to the GP to try a new referral.
Finally, I got a GP who said to call around and find a psychologist with an opening, and then call her immediately on her personal mobile after so she could get me a referral ASAP before the opening closed. But I called and I called every psychologist I could find listed (I live rural, so not a lot of options unfortunately, but I was willing to drive 3+ hours to see one), but none had any openings and weren't willing to book me more than 6 months ahead. After months of trying to find anybody willing to see me, I finally gave up and decided to devote my free time to other endeavors (including, unfortunately, a more pressing medical issue that came up).
My partner had more success (he found a psychologist willing to book him an appointment a year ahead), but the whole process of getting diagnosed still took him quite a bit longer than that because the assessment required multiple appointments. The heart tests were quick, at least (Australia's good at heart stuff). But ultimately, as I already described, he found that the benefits of the medication proved not worth the ongoing effort of managing renewals and refills, frequently missing doses due to shortages, and having it interfere with travel. He's much (and I mean much) better at dealing with that particular flavor of hoop-jumping than I am.
As I mentioned, Australia's healthcare system is usually much more responsive and easy to work with. For every other medical concern I've had, I've never had any issues booking appointments, getting referrals, getting assessments, refilling prescriptions, renewing prescriptions, etc. I can almost always book appointments within 24 hours, get a referral to see a specialist within a few days, get my prescriptions overlapped so I don't run out, etc.
But for some reason, ADHD seems to be uniquely difficult to navigate. Even immigrating (from my first backpacker's visa all the way to full dual citizenship) was easier and faster.
Girl who are you explaining this to? I have ADHD and I got it done, so can you hahaha
Hello, fellow zoner outer! I'm old enough to remember the days when the 'H' wasn't included when people talked about ADHD, so I (jokingly) like to refer to my situation as 'classic ADD - no H' or (this might not be the best place for this, but it's with 100% unseriousness) "the lazy version, not the crazy version."
Like you, reading the strengths and weaknesses feels like I'm reading my own scouting report. I'd love to know the stats on how much time I've spent looking for stuff throughout my life. I'd put the over/under at about 5000 hours lol. High school wasn't the best, especially since I was already hostile to the concept busy work, but I feel like it might've helped me in college. I majored in history and always got nice feedback for my writing and analysis* which is nice because the wrong book can have me circling back to the same paragraph a dozen times and I'm an extremely slow writer. I'll think of a great sentence midway through the one I'm working on and just bounce around sections - actually, I kind of do that with tasks in my day-to-day life as well. Clean a little bit of the room, go do a few dishes, back to the room, etc. etc.
I didn't know about the emotionally attuned thinking bit. That might explain some of the positive feedback I've received from my romantic partners. I finally started taking meds for it in my early 30s and it was like I was in the movie Limitless. If I attribute the "strengths" to the diagnosis the way I do with the "weaknesses" then all in all I'd say it's a wash as far as the negative/positive aspects are concerned.
*if that comes as a surprise given my comment history, it's because I shoot from the hip 95% of the time. And I'm stupid, but that's a separate issue.
I'm curious why you would suggest that inattentiveness is forgotten when squirrel its symptoms are the classic symptoms of a disorder that many people still call just ADD.
Because that isn't how the diagnosis is presented to a lot of folks, especially to children and boys, and the lack of hyperactivity resulted in many people going undiagnosed for quite a while. Plus "squirrel" is often presented as part of hyperactivity, not just inattentiveness.
This feels really unnecessary as a response to someone who said reading these symptoms made them want to cry and who seems to be looking for support and connection. Even if it was simply their own experience and perception.
For me, there is no "squirrel" diversion of attention because mid conversation with you, I've drifted off in my own head: I can't hear/see/perceive there is a squirrel, and in fact I've stopped listening to you as well, I am making semi-coherent mimic responses only.
I have ooh shiny responses but the mind fixated on something else and I'm 2-7 side tracks down the rail line before coming back to the main conversation is much more common. Especially in adulthood
The squirrel ioke doesn't particularly accurately reflect how inattentiveness from ADHD manifests in my experience (and I have combined type).
I don't know if I have combined or just inattentive, but I know the squirrel-style distraction is absolutely how it best manifests in my mom.
I suggest you read the article I posted. It goes into detail about the difference
Thanks. I did.
They diagnosed me with this and “Asperger’s” as a child in the 90s, but as an adult I’m incredibly organized and have rigid routines.
My theory is that I perhaps on the outside fit the criteria for this as a child in school because I would cope with the overstimulation by escaping into my own head, but I never actually had ADHD.
OTOH my understanding is that one of the best ways of learning to cope with ADHD is to develop rigid routines to help keep you organized.
Entirely possible that your childhood diagnosis set you up for success that gave you the tools you need to not let it rule your life long term.
Autism and ADHD have plenty of comorbidity and diagnoses can swing both ways. So common I personally know a couple of people that were diagnosed as the former at a young age and, likely correctly, the latter later in life.
It's always a shame that I know a rigid routine will help me, but being in one feels like I'm suffocating. This is where my decades old bad habits tend to violently struggle against the stranglehold of a disciplined routine.
Ive never felt suffocated by myself, but there is an air of crazy to me that my autism is always at odds with. I don’t feel crazy, but Ive had at least one manic episode and during that episode a side effect was “autism routines be damned” cause I felt like I was in control and regulated such that I didn’t need to do all that.
Normally, though, the routines are what my brain does to help process the sensory input from my day. Without it I cant think, I cant unpack feelings and put them away, I cant understand why people say things that don’t make sense because my brain didn’t process the subtle voice tone or body movement that was supposed to support what the words. Going through the routine though, it suddenly occurs to me what happened. I need the routine. I feel really confused and lost without it.
So! Much! This!
Even "small" things have to be rebelled against otherwise I loose all interest in living. Some days I just have to not brush my teeth!
Entirely possible
There is one specific skill that I remember clearly from the little bit of therapy I did get, and the skill is in remembering what you were doing before you got distracted, rather than just trying not to get distracted. My short term memory was always really good (I vaguely remember from the tests when I was first diagnosed) but I think they spent a lot of time with me just practicing short term memory skills.
I am naturally just really crazy organized in that classic autism way, though. I always have been, even when my internal organization clashed with my teachers version which it often did. I do things a certain specific way because reasons and I just have to do it in that way. When I'm tired, I drop steps in a certain specific way, too.
One of the biggest problems in the gordian knot of mental health issues is the overlapping of symptoms, and how the idiosyncrasies from one can compensate or exacerbate for others.
At the end of the day, all that matters is:
Are you happy with the way things are?
(rhetorical)
The misdiagnosis actually did a lot of damage. I definitely could have benefited from a proper diagnosis and proper accommodations as a child. I missed out on a lot of education because I couldn't function in a classroom of 30+ other kids. I very nearly failed out of high school, and would have failed out if it weren't for no child left behind. For example, I used to purposely sleep deprive myself so that I could sleep through class and not have to experience it.
They put me on medication when I was 8 which was later disapproved for children under 18. I remember being able to easily follow any instruction, see connections easily, and just generally retain information as a small child, and I haven't been able to do that since the medication. I stopped taking the medication on my own without Dr. supervision in high school, and that was also incredibly damaging. I don't remember any of my freshman year, when I was going through withdrawl.
I ended up okay in the end, but having proper support could have made my life so much easier.
Formally, I exhibited hyperactivity as a child, so I'mnot sure if I'm primarily inattentive. But throughout my early teens and beyond I've definitely just been inattentive, with any hyperactivity being relegated to a bunch of ticks/habits.
But regardless, I know exactly how you feel because I went through the exact same motions last year, at the ripe young age of 30, when my friend (also diagnosed) convinced me to look into ADHD and the more I read about it the more I felt like I was reading an autobiography. Finally, just before turning 31, I was officially diagnosed and medicated and am now still learning how to "function" after 3 decades of complete dysfunction.
All this to say you are absolutely not alone and ADHD is extremely underdiagnosed in general, especially in adults. It's normal to feel like you're just now discovering who you are and understand why the world around you feels the way it does.
How to deal with it will vary from person to person but in my case my executive dysfunction was exacerbating so many other mental problems (as it turns out, when you can't focus you also can't do a good job and end up falling behind which only stresses you out more) that stimulant medication was definitely the way forward for me, especially after trying anti depressants and none of them helping. After some months on my medication (Lisdexamfetamine, brand name Elvanse or VyVanse) I was able to do tasks I wanted which slowly improved my outlook on life in general, especially the constant mental spiraling and ruminating. Hell, now I'm even starting to exercise regularly and have lost 15 kg just because I can think of something and do it instead of constally hopping from thought to thought.
When you're officially diagnosed it takes a lot of effort to "unlearn" the bad habits you've built over the years, but there is always a way forward and you're never alone.
Yeah dude I’m on Vyvanse too and it’s like someone flicked on the light in my brain. I couldn’t believe the difference it made haha
I’ve been on it for a couple years now, but I’ve been living life in more alignment with ADHD and I’ve lost 20lbs since last year. It’s wild how help was right there, but nobody noticed until adulthood
Longer than me, then!
The best way I like to describe it is I spent 30 years living with one brain. Now I'm learning how to use a different brain. Feels like magic for us who never knew any other way. And yeah, my life completely changed too.
The only thing I regret, but try not to dwell on too hard, is not getting help sooner, especially because I was diagnosed with hyperactivity as a child and the pediatrician just never followed up with any treatment because I "calmed down" later on, which I only learned as an adult was just me masking my symptoms.
So much masking. I had this “in the closet” feeling and I couldn’t figure out what it was. Turns out I was just hiding my neurodivergence. It’s kinda sad how long I went on like this, but I like the person I am today so 🤷🏿♂️
I'm diagnosed with combined type myself, but both my childhood experiences and my struggles in adulthood reflect that the inattentive-type symptoms are the bigger deal and disrupt my life more. Getting diagnosed as an adult changed my life, and a lot of my biggest regrets result from not getting diagnosed and on medication sooner.
Are you me? I could have written your entire comment myself.
I can't say whether you're me, but I'm definitely habitually tired, so make of that what you will.
I realized very often my response to "how are you doing" is "man I'm tired." And I realized, I'm just always tired even after a good night of sleep. Guess it comes with the territory, but it feels like I've been tired for as long as I've been forming memories.
I've been doing better on that front lately, but I feel this with my soul. I hope you get to feel rested soon.
Thanks, and likewise Sparks. ^.^ Lined up a couple days of staycation time in a couple weeks which I'm hoping will help.
ADHD-PI here. I'm not medicated because though meds are effective, I can't deal with the side effects (at least the ones that can be prescribed here). I don't drink caffeine/alcohol, smoke or do drugs either. Just out here rawdogging life as some people say. Unfortunately that means I cope by letting anxiety take the wheel. Fear is a great motivator, but incredibly exhausting.
Some weird tips I find have helped somewhat:
Don't sit down. Just don't. If you sit down you're going to be absorbed by something (phone, book, staring at the wall) and time will disappear.
If you have trouble getting something done, find the starting point of least resistance, then go through each step one by one until you've built enough momentum to keep going. Have to write an assignment? Don't think about the assignment itself. Tell yourself you just have to go get your laptop. Then once you've done that, tell yourself you need to open your laptop. Then turn it on. Then log in. And so on. Don't think three steps ahead, just focus on completing the very next step you need to take.
I like to think my brain's "auto-save" mode is broken or very unreliable. For important items, like wallet, keys, passports/ID etc, try keep them consistently in the same one or two places. Don't buy multiple handbags or backpacks if you can avoid it, or stick to mainly using just one or two to carry your stuff. It'll save you time when you're frantically looking for something.
Work from home is a godsend, but I find hybrid is best to keep me in check.
When walking around places I've been to dozens of times (even just outside my own place), I'll often remark with delight that they've opened a new shop or restaurant, or whatever. My wife will then tell me the place has been there for months/years, I just didn't notice. This happens at least a couple of times a month, sometimes more. I tell myself the world is full of wonder and whimsy. Places I've been to multiple times have something new and exciting all the time. No point in being upset at myself for not noticing.
People will tell you to bullet journal, set calendar reminders, write post-its, etc and THAT technique will be the one to help you remember things. Once the novelty wears off each of those things stops working for me. So I use whatever seems to work at the moment. Sometimes it's a post-it, sometimes it's a note on my work calendar, sometimes it's an alarm. Don't feel bad if something seemed to work for you then suddenly it doesn't. It happens to a lot of us.
Don't accept leaflets/brochures, just take a picture on your phone or go immediately on the website, or take down the phone number. Those things have a way of getting in the house and collecting dust for ages.
There's probably more but I can't think of anything additional for now.
Yeah bro having systems saves a lot of trouble
I don’t (as far as I know), but my wife does. She figured out that she likely did during college, but didn’t get her official diagnosis until she was working on her Ph.D (actually got the results during one of the important milestones, which was a whole can of worms to both process & then start meds during).
She studies psychology and so identified a lot of her own symptoms, but also was mitigating a lot of them with that knowledge. After we moved in together (and had better insurance), she finally went to try to get an official diagnosis to get meds to help.
ADHD-PI over here. No time to participate in the thread atm, just wanted to leave a note. I was finally diagnosed in my 40s because although according to one doctor I am a textbook case, being a woman and having the inattentive type had me fly under the radar. It's awful but knowing what it is means you'll be able to slowly make things better for yourself. Good luck!
Me. Diagnosed with add when I was ~8 in the 90s.
Ritalin during school & uni, though at a "near homoeopathic dose" towards the end and didn't bother continuing when it became my responsibility as an adult to gp and psych appointments to get more.
Education & career path narrowed to the shit I was naturally gifted and very interested in: fucking around with websites. Coming up to about 15 years as a full stack developer.
Some career 'missteps' along the way where I probably could have jumped employers or promotions sooner but didn't because...meh.
Been using Ritalin again for the past 3 years. It and coffee are really the only drugs I take. I don't drink alcohol, except maybe one or two beers at very infrequent (less than annual) social events, like work Christmas parties.
I really do think I would flourish writing code. I just don’t think I could ever find a job in a timeline that would make sense smh
If you have the time, play around and learn something.
I play around plenty, I just don’t think I could figure out how to get hired lol
I’m not diagnosed, but i think this is probably me.
Certain things or scenarios (like being under pressure) hold my attention extremely well though, so I’m not sure. But most of the other symptoms describe me.
One thing I’ve noticed that I’m not sure is normal: when I go walking I will often want to think about X. However, my train of thought drifts repeatedly off X and it’s difficult for me to remain focused on X. Does that happen to anyone else?
Inattentiveness usually stems from under stimulation. ADHD-i folk can easily focus on something that they find interesting and they often perform really well under stress or get spurred into action by a looming deadline. It's when they can't pull away because the consequences are too dire that they may focus to their hearts content. Look, most people have done the "crap I needed to finish this before tomorrow so I'm pulling an all nighter", ADHD kids just do that almost every time.
I'm sure that plenty of people here will understand me if I say that I hyper focused on the wrong thing again.
Sustained focus is the big issue with adhd lol, but also it could just be normal distraction. Not saying you don’t tho. Overall ADHD tends to show up in a bunch of other places and interrupt normal functioning
Hi, hello yes! Welcome to the club! My post history for the last 6 months on tildes has been (mostly) a mix of getting diagnosed, relationship troubles and resulting therapy/life changes.
If you're interested, I'd say pull up and chair and have a scroll, you might find some of what I've written relatable as someone else who has the same diagnosis.
I'd like to post more, but I'm on holiday! So hopefully catch this at a more suitable time!
Raises hand.
Yep, me too. Formally diagnosed ADD as a child, back when it was called ADD and not ADHD. Self-diagnosed inattentive-type much more recently in life when doing research. All together AuDHD as I'm on the Autistic spectrum as well.
Primary issues experienced: highly limited executive function / 'will/drive to do stuff' - highly exacerbated since burning out on a job that demanded 80-100 hours a week / 7 days a week. Limited / broken attention span for things I don't find interesting. High ability to do stuff that is interesting to me. Very high intelligence related to logic/STEM/objective data, very low emotional and social intelligence - pretty sure that last one is more from the Autism spectrum.
As of... maybe a year ago? As of recently I had access to health insurance for a while through my girlfriend's job and availed myself of mental health services, got on Vyvanse and Welbutrin. That has helped somewhat - my general strategy to get anything done was to use large amounts of caffeine.
I've transitioned to working mostly from home, refurbishing and selling lab electronics on eBay/FB Marketplace/Craigslist (I've been an electronics nerd since I was a kid) and that works reasonably well for me so long as I can put in at least minimal hours a month. Can't imagine going back to 'normal' 9-5 type work.