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    1. What's a psychological barrier you've recently unlocked?

      For the past year, I've finally been able to have a strong, lasting, cleaning routine. It took me my whole life, but I was never able to go past my own argument of "who cares"? Who cares if the...

      For the past year, I've finally been able to have a strong, lasting, cleaning routine. It took me my whole life, but I was never able to go past my own argument of "who cares"? Who cares if the dishes aren't done? If the laundry isn't folded? Only I can judge me. It doesn't matter, ultimately.

      But silently, I wasn't happy with that, and I've known I wasn't happy for years, kinda like an addict saying he'll stop but he never does.

      One day earlier this year, during winter, while on a good cleaning day, I took some time to look at my old notebooks from college. I remembered a page I had written during some off-time on an internship. I had written a full page of the same line: "I like it when...". I had wanted to just do some introspection and list every thing I liked that came to mind. Stuff like "I like it when I eat pizza", "I like it when I play boardgames with my friend", etc.

      Those notes were five years old, you know what was the very first thing on the page? That's right: "I like it when my apartment is clean"

      It hit me like a fucking brick. I almost cried right there.

      From then on, it was over. The cleaning me had won over the lazy me and I've since been able to keep a clean apartment :)

      So, what's your story? How did you overcome a challenge in your life?

      31 votes
    2. Feeling defeated, and the need to keep trying

      I'll preface by saying that if this is the wrong place for this, I'm sorry ahead of time. Additionally if I've tagged you and you disapprove, please let me know. Copious Backstory As I wrote in...

      I'll preface by saying that if this is the wrong place for this, I'm sorry ahead of time. Additionally if I've tagged you and you disapprove, please let me know.


      Copious Backstory

      As I wrote in the monthly mental health, I've been struggling with finding a job. I've spent the last 15 years in ECE (Early Childhood Education) at a private school. I've worked over the last decade first to finish my Associates degree with help from my boss, and then my bachelor's with help from the state (@DefinitelyNotAFae you may have heard of the ECACE program). I earned my educator license too late last year to search for a teaching job in public schools, so I spent the last year building up networks and references for the hunt this year. That all went well.

      Over the last 6 months I have interviewed (or attempted to interview, because it's difficult to take off work for all of this) at almost all of the schools in my county for the positions I'm certified for. I quickly got the feeling that finding a teaching job was much different this year than in previous years. I got turned down, every time.

      I wrote last week about how I had finally landed a job - an ideal one, checking off so many boxes. It was local, a 25% pay bump over other districts, an age range I'm familiar with, and more. I went on vacation this week ecstatic and celebrating. @Chocobean you may remember I tagged you about this update.

      Yesterday I spoke with the district HR executive. Due to budget cuts that came in Monday, my position was no longer available and the offer was rescinded. I feel robbed.

      I'm really trying not to let this ruin the rest of my family vacation, but it's hard. I feel defeated and dejected. I spent family time putting in more applications, again, to try and soothe my mind. I hate it. It does help feeling like I'm doing something about it, but it feels more like any opportunity I get can be dashed away before my very eyes without me being able to do anything at all.

      What I feel worst about is that the deadline for getting hired is fast approaching. What if I don't land a job? What if I'm still stuck working where I am? I love that place and my coworkers, but my heart is set on moving on to something different and new.

      I try to tell myself I can't see myself as a failure - I did succeed. I was mugged. There's nothing I could have done differently.

      I'm still empty handed though.


      So to the point of discussion... What helps you persevere in the face of adversity and hardship?

      35 votes
    3. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      8 votes
    4. Fitness tracker (2025 edition)

      See device recommendation thread from 2019. It's been a few years: tech has further matured, and we've gotten more things enshittified. With that in mind, I am asking these questions : Edit: new...

      See device recommendation thread from 2019.

      It's been a few years: tech has further matured, and we've gotten more things enshittified. With that in mind, I am asking these questions :

      Edit: new comments very welcome as well! I wasn't on this site yet in 2019

      (0) Did you find the device worth the money, what was surprisingly helpful or unhelpful? What was the tipping point into getting one and did it fulfil its promise?

      (1) If your existing one broke today, would you still buy a new fitness tracker today?

      (2) If yes, which one?

      (3) Else no, why not, or what lessons have you learned since owning one, or what technological considerations do you have today that you didn't before?

      Bonus: for folks who never had one, did you ever wanted one and if so what stopped you?

      16 votes
    5. How do you find the words?

      Some days ago, I posted in the monthly ~health.mental thread and it turned into such a long aimless ramble that I deleted it after a couple of hours. I was embarrassed how childishly whiny I came...

      Some days ago, I posted in the monthly ~health.mental thread and it turned into such a long aimless ramble that I deleted it after a couple of hours. I was embarrassed how childishly whiny I came off with that ranting/venting or whatever it was that went through my head at that time, in a vulnerable emotional state. When it gets even worse, during breakdowns, it even becomes that I'm fully incapable of speech which I even less know how to work on.

      But it's not just limited to these two states. During more "reasonable" moments, if I can call it that, I still have the sense that I don't know how to express myself. Sometimes I catch myself thinking it's a lack of education or because of not reading enough literature, so my vocabulary is poor. Because even when I use tools full-on graphs of words with emotions and variants and synonyms of those words etc. etc., it still seems like it's not enough.

      The best I can usually do is saying that I have a feeling of being overwhelmed, that it's all too much, feeling the feelings too much, extreme emotions, that I can't fit into my body. But I feel like it's still more than that.

      Anyone else deal with this too?

      18 votes
    6. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      14 votes
    7. Dissapointing affirmation anyone?

      Was listening to a pod where one person shared a funny, and having fun is taking care of your ~mental.health This is my kind of humour, an 'article' about it:...

      Was listening to a pod where one person shared a funny, and having fun is taking care of your ~mental.health

      This is my kind of humour, an 'article' about it: https://pleated-jeans.com/2023/08/29/disappointing-affirmations-dave-tarnowski/

      And a link to the instagram account https://www.instagram.com/disappointingaffirmations/ for those who use instagram.

      The episode in question: Divergent Conversations: Episode 106(mp3)

      Maybe this isn't really a good topic, but maybe you'd like to share what makes you laugh, good podcasts or how you use humour for ~mental.health.

      I also wrote something related in one the monthly check in topics, so maybe @chocobean would like to give an update! (Sorry for calling you out like this, just trying to have some fun)

      19 votes
    8. Looking for places to get bulk OTC medicine in the US

      I have a prescription for a certain digestion aide which I need to take on a daily basis. A while back, I got a letter from my insurance that they will no longer be covering it and offering it...

      I have a prescription for a certain digestion aide which I need to take on a daily basis. A while back, I got a letter from my insurance that they will no longer be covering it and offering it through the pharmacy counter because it's an over-the-counter medication.

      The problem is that almost nobody sells this drug in large quantities. I used to get a 3-month supply, 100 pills, for something less than $10. Now the best price I can seem to find is $12 for a 42-pack, and annoyingly they only ever come in incredibly irritating blister packs (a pox on the people who invented putting pills in those things!), or an equally unhinged option of being spread between three separate bottles and boxed together.

      I did happen to find a place that sold the drug in bulk, but I've never heard of them and their website doesn't exactly inspire trust.

      Does anyone know of a place where I might be able to find the drugs I need in quantities and packaging that makes sense, within the United States?

      23 votes
    9. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      9 votes
    10. Potentially autistic and frustrated

      A few months ago I went to the psychiatrist and we talked for like an hour. We got onto the topic of autism and I mentioned how I was always curious if I had it. She spent like five or so minutes...

      A few months ago I went to the psychiatrist and we talked for like an hour. We got onto the topic of autism and I mentioned how I was always curious if I had it. She spent like five or so minutes asking me questions and said she would put me as autism coded in my chart.

      I wasn't sure if that meant it was an official diagnosis or not but I didn't think to ask until after the appointment. It seemed really quick for it to be an official diagnosis.

      I went back to her last week and brought up that she marked me as "autism coded." I asked "is that a diagnosis or does it just mean it's suspected?" She didn't really give a straightforward answer and just said that I have "really really high functioning autism."

      But I don't know if that means I'm officially diagnosed. And if I take her at her words of calling me autistic and then applying that label to myself I feel like a fake because I never had a huge assessment like most people.

      Thoughts? Advice? Am I overthinking this?

      21 votes
    11. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      14 votes
    12. I teach a student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and I need help

      Special Ed. Teacher here. This year I've been assigned a tough caseload. But my most challenging student is easily the student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and possibly autism. I'll call him...

      Special Ed. Teacher here.

      This year I've been assigned a tough caseload. But my most challenging student is easily the student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and possibly autism. I'll call him Jake.

      Edit: He's in middle school, btw.

      To protect his privacy and my own, I can't give many specifics. This student is chronically online and I wouldn't put it past him to Google situations he's caused in my class.

      Some vague descriptions of the things he's done this year:

      -Repeatedly jokes about pedophilia and teachers who have been arrested for it. It makes me uncomfortable that he does this, obviously. The only saving grace here is that he has thrown it around so many times, including calling multiple teachers pedophiles last year, that everyone knows he is just being rude and it's not a serious accusation. Thoroughly documented and I'm not really concerned about actually being accused. Fyi, I have informed his adoptive parents and they have informed his counselor. They are taking it seriously and have started investigating whether or not this is just shocking humor or a more serious part of the Jake's history before adoption.

      -Waits for the perfect time to drop rude or shocking comments to inflict maximum damage. When he wants to say something awful to me or in general, he will hold off until he has an audience and the room is relatively quiet.

      -Constantly mocks and shit talks certain students. We have dealt with it. He isn't just getting away with it. But even after consequences, separation from the students, and punishments at home, he doesn't stop. He's hung up on hating a couple of kids in particular but will generally be rude to whoever if he wants to. One of these kids is a scrappy kid from a rough school and I could totally see it ending in punches if we don't manage this.

      -Absolutely refuses to share any serious thoughts. Even when asked what kind of support he needs, what kind of rewards would motivate him, or what's bothering him, he just gives ridiculous answers in a high-pitched voice or walks away. This kid wants no part in coming up with solutions and won't even engage in a conversation about his behavior or even the behavior of others.

      -Speaking of his high pitched voice, this is the voice he always uses to say rude things. He has his normal speaking voice and then he uses this higher pitched voice when he says things that are rude or shocking. Like he has two different brains and one wants to be mean.

      -Last year, he kept a list of times he felt students and teachers had broken the code of conduct.

      -absolutely hates special Ed. Hates me for being a special ed. teacher. Reminds the other kids in my class that they're "special" constantly.

      For the record, all of these things have been addressed many times. The school has been supportive, the parents have been supportive, and everyone knows that this behavior, if continued for much longer, will likely result in a change of programming for this student. He would be placed in a more restrictive setting.

      This is kind of my last ditch effort to see if anyone has ideas, because this student is on the verge of leaving my classroom. If there is anything I can do to make it work with this kid, I would do it immediately. He's smart, witty, and unfortunately very funny in a South Park kind of a way. But he's raising hell every day and he's the first student I've had where it feels like I can't connect with him at all. And not for lack of trying.

      42 votes
    13. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      5 votes
    14. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      4 votes
    15. DnD 5e approach to describing executive function

      I was recently thinking of a new way to describe to my spouse (and to myself) how my mind works when it comes to performing tasks. This is a regularly occuring conversation, as her needs and mine...

      I was recently thinking of a new way to describe to my spouse (and to myself) how my mind works when it comes to performing tasks. This is a regularly occuring conversation, as her needs and mine often run counter to each other and leave us both frustrated. I have trouble understanding even my own reactions to things, let alone hers, so I try to explain them in new terms occasionally to see if it makes things click.

      Anyway, I came up with one that I found apt and kinda fun, if maybe a bit sad in places: a DnD 5e character sheet. For the purposes of this exercise, the sheet is for a sorcerer, not a wizard (learning new tasks happens slowly, almost at random) and the Frustration mechanic is effectively identical to Exhaustion in the PHB.

      Here it is. I'm curious if any of you have thoughts on this or find it feeling familiar.

      Spell list:

      Cantrips:

      Relax
      Read
      Eat
      Get ready for bed ¹

      1st level:

      Choose to go to bed ²
      Get ready to leave
      Choose a meal
      Prepare a meal
      Work on dishes
      Take out trash
      Do laundry
      Other chores
      Do a favor (unasked)*

      2nd level:

      Do a favor (asked)*
      Stifle frustration ³

      3rd level:

      Do a big favor (asked)*
      Dismiss frustration ⁴

      Feat - People Pleaser: When casting "Do a favor (unasked)", roll a d20. On a 15 or higher, cast as a cantrip instead. When casting "Do a favor (asked)", roll a d20. On a 5 or lower, add 1 level of frustration. When casting "Do a big favor (asked)", roll a d20. On a 10 or lower, add 1 level of frustration.

      Feat - Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures: Regenerate 1 spell slot of any level. Add 1 level of frustration.

      Feat - Self Soothe: whenever casting a cantrip, roll a d20. On a 19 or 20, remove 1 level of frustration.

      Curse - Temper: whenever casting a spell of 1st level or higher, roll a d20 with advantage. On a 2 or lower, add a level of frustration.

      Curse - Social Anxiety: when interacting with another character, roll a d20. On a 5 or lower, burn 1 spell slot or add 1 level of frustration.

      ¹ Must be cast on the turn following casting "Choose to go to bed." Otherwise, this becomes a 1st level spell.

      ² After casting this spell, any spell other than a cantrip must be cast one level higher than usual (e.g., 1st level spells can only be cast using 2nd level spell slots).

      ³ Temporarily remove 1 level of frustration. It returns after d20X10 minutes.

      ⁴ Permanently remove 1 level of frustration.

      23 votes