-
37 votes
-
We lost the war - Come to terms with the imminent loss of privacy and civil rights without going lethargic
16 votes -
Repeat victims of violence do not report to the police, even in cases involving serious injury and hospitalisation, a new study has found
14 votes -
Opposites don't actually attract
36 votes -
In Alabama, white tide rushes on
10 votes -
The number of strikes rippling across the US seem big, but the total number of Americans walking off the job remains historically low
14 votes -
Recommendations for ENM apps for Bi women
Seeking recommendations for Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) apps for a bi gal like myself for cute dates with other women only? So far most of what I've tried have been very limited/one way...
Seeking recommendations for Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) apps for a bi gal like myself for cute dates with other women only?
So far most of what I've tried have been very limited/one way interactions (unsure if people have forgotten how to ask questions!?). ONLY SEEKING FOR SELF, NO UNICORNS/NOT A UNICORN. Sorry just had to make that clear....
Any recommendations would be appreciated! PS am Au based not USA...
14 votes -
Sexual victimization by women is more common than previously known (2017)
48 votes -
I don’t know if I am right to be upset
Canadian Thanksgiving is just around the corner. My wife and I usually host a small gathering for my wife’s immediate (mom, dad, sister, and grandparents) family at my house. Last year my...
Canadian Thanksgiving is just around the corner. My wife and I usually host a small gathering for my wife’s immediate (mom, dad, sister, and grandparents) family at my house. Last year my sister-in-law asked whether she could bring her fiancé, which we were absolutely happy to have him over.
This year however, things are weird. They just got married within the last month, and I got a text from my SIL letting me know that she invited her mother-in-law to my house. I don’t have any problems with the woman, but I found it to be really rude for her to invite someone over to my house without even asking if it was okay.
My SIL is very self-centred most of the time. She expects people to just do whatever she wants to do, and rarely contributes anything. Usually for Thanksgiving I will cook the turkey and a couple of sides, and everyone else is responsible for bringing something (sides, dessert, buns, appies… anything they feel like bringing). She never brings anything except a container to bring leftovers home with her. She is like this with many other things. She has come camping with us and not brought any food for herself, because she is just assuming that we are going to feed her.
I love my wife’s family, but my SIL drives me insane. I find it incredibly rude that she just decided to invite someone to my house without asking. I don’t know what to do though. I feel like I need to call her out on it, but I also don’t want to ruin Thanksgiving.
I guess I have two questions:
Am I wrong to be upset about this?
If I’m not wrong, then what do I do about it?
35 votes -
Weekly thread for casual chat and photos of pets
This is the place for casual discussion about our pets. Photos are welcome, show us your pet(s) and tell us about them!
9 votes -
US study: Law abiding immigrants: the incarceration gap between immigrants and the US born 1850-2020
9 votes -
Family who went 'off the grid' in Colorado wilderness died of malnutrition, autopsy finds
42 votes -
Working from home: Perks and policies?
Wondering how other organizations are supporting / controlling working from home? Do you guys get your internet reimbursed? Do you have to use a company-controlled wifi router? Do you get a...
Wondering how other organizations are supporting / controlling working from home?
Do you guys get your internet reimbursed? Do you have to use a company-controlled wifi router? Do you get a cellphone (with data) so you have a back-up connectivity? Allowances? Are you surveilled?
23 votes -
The women’s recession is officially over — but not everyone has recovered equally
10 votes -
No evidence UK grammar school systems are best for the brightest, study of 500,000 pupils reveals
14 votes -
Norwegian preschoolers get early exposure to outdoor life by hiking routes around kindergartens
20 votes -
How can I tell if my child is ready to start school next year?
10 votes -
What are your DIY mattress experiences?
I have been researching DIY Latex / Hybrid mattresses lately and have been thinking about pulling the trigger. I've been eying a full latex build, 3 inches of Firm, Medium, and Soft talalay (firm...
I have been researching DIY Latex / Hybrid mattresses lately and have been thinking about pulling the trigger. I've been eying a full latex build, 3 inches of Firm, Medium, and Soft talalay (firm -> soft).I was able to find a good amount of information between Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/Mattress/comments/otdqms/diy_mattresses_an_introductory_guide/?rdt=54627) and Arizona Premium Mattresses, but I feel like I'm lacking information about people's anecdotal experiences.
Have you gone the DIY route before? Was it a success? Did you end up effectively buying multiple mattresses worth of components trying to dial it in? Looking back would you just buy a bed in a box? Any insight / tips would be very much appreciated.
22 votes -
The only man in the maternity ward
For context, this was neither in the US nor Europe. This is not my first language and some terms are direct translations since I am not aware of actual usage. I'm coming from an intense...
For context, this was neither in the US nor Europe. This is not my first language and some terms are direct translations since I am not aware of actual usage.
I'm coming from an intense experience: my first son is born. In the days before that, I cared for my pregnant wife during the passing of her mother, who spent 3 months in the hospital fighting multiple conditions, chiefly neurological.
Two days after the burial, we went to the hospital for several exams. My wife was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia, a potentially dangerous pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure.
We spent almost a week in the hospital. My wife did not want a c-section, so our doctor employed multiple methods to induce labor over the course of several days.
There are no men in the maternity ward. Men do not sweep floors, do not take calls, or take any position of care.
I did not see any men in the hallway, although I assumed there were some hidden in the bedrooms.
When the nurses entered the room, they did not look at me. I was not a father, but rather a
"companion"whatever you would use in English for someone who is just kind of there. When they had instructions pertaining to the care of my wife and son, they never addressed me. They only addressed me in matters lacking importance, like "Get me a towel", or "Is there any cotton left?".The tone and body language were of contempt and distrust.
When my wife was soon to go into labor, I decided to go to the bathroom, since I expected to be locked in a room for many hours. When I left the bathroom (which was in the same room where she was), my wife was not there. She was gone. I looked for information and realized she was in the delivery room.
When I was in the bathroom, someone asked me to get something for the doula (a woman), but didn't tell me why. I did. You see, they had time to request me to get something for the doula, but couldn't use the same time to warn me that my wife was being taken to another floor.
That was incredibly traumatizing.
At every step, the message was very clear: "You are not welcome here". "You are not qualified to care for your wife and son". "You are man, and, therefore, a menace to this environment".
Well, fuck them. I was there for my wife since day one. In every contraction, every second she needed me, I was there.
I was the first person to touch my son when he left the womb.
We had to revolt to leave that place as soon as we could. Our personal pediatrician had to intervene because apparently, the maternity ward didn't really trust my wife either -- they just pretended. The kid was slightly underweight. I was convinced that the long stay at the hospital was the main factor impacting breastfeeding. My wife needed to mourn the loss of her mother and required some sense of normality and routine (we are so incredibly happy in our day-to-day, I was confident she would improve!). Turns out that I (and our doctor) were right. We're home now, and the kid's gaining weight again.
At every step of this process, I was invited not to care. "Get out, father, you are not needed here." "That is not a job for men, let the women do it for you".
Earlier today, a neighbor came asking "Are the girls helping you out?". I gotta be honest, I snapped. "No", I said. "This kid has a father". "Oh, but the feminine touch is special!". "It is not", I answered.
Well, fuck them, because I do care for my son, and I will continue to do so. I fully acknowledge and respect the special connection a mother has with their kids. I cannot bear a child, and I lack the ability to produce milk. Other than that, there are no tasks my wife can do that I cannot do as well.
I am not an angry person. Thinking about this makes me very angry and I hate that feeling. I feel a long-lasting trauma is forming. I'm pretty shook-up.
I love my son, I guess that ultimately that is all that matters.
I'm just glad I'm now home, and that I am no longer the only man in a place that considered me a foreign body, trying to eject me at every chance.
59 votes -
How US labor movement can win at the bargaining table
14 votes -
To mark the 1920 ratification of the Nineteenth Amendment to the US Constitution, activist Crystal Eastman described the path to full freedom for American women
15 votes -
Albania: Europe’s hidden haven for digital nomads
6 votes -
Insulation R-values and diminishing returns?
I'm looking into insulating the attic above a closed-in back porch & the estimate also included adding additional insulation on top of the blown-in in the attic. What kinds of factors can be used...
I'm looking into insulating the attic above a closed-in back porch & the estimate also included adding additional insulation on top of the blown-in in the attic.
What kinds of factors can be used to think about the value of additional insulation?
For reference, I'm in Florida & keep setpoint around 80 degrees F most of the time when home, and 86 when not home. Power bills in the summer are in the $150-$180 USD range.
It's currently R27 and the quote is to add R11 to bring it up to R38. Code here appears to put new construction at R38 as a minimum, but looking at some charts - it looks like I might have already hit diminishing returns?
This chart I found on "Energy Vanguard" seems to suggest that going from 27 to 38 isn't much of a difference.
Does anyone else have any insight on when those diminishing returns are hit, and if it can make any appreciable difference in power bills? The house itself is comfortable enough, without large swings in temperature.
13 votes -
A warning to employers that US National Labor Relations Board has changed the rules governing formation of unions to be easier for workers and harder for employers to oppose
41 votes -
Why you should divide your life into semesters, even when you’re not in school
19 votes -
Women working in Antarctica say they were left to fend for themselves against sexual harassers
50 votes -
In a rare win, a migrant worker sued his bosses in Singapore. And won.
22 votes -
Foreskin reclaimers: The ‘intactivists’ fighting infant male circumcision
27 votes -
Residents of the Danish neighbourhood of Christiania have asked authorities for help shutting down its Pusher Street after a slew of recent gang-related murders
5 votes -
Why are gender pay gaps so large in Japan and South Korea?
21 votes -
Supermarket in Finland is welcoming canine customers with specially-adapted carts which allow dog owners to bring their pooches grocery shopping
16 votes -
Weekly thread for casual chat and photos of pets
This is the place for casual discussion about our pets. Photos are welcome, show us your pet(s) and tell us about them!
9 votes -
My secret to dating in San Francisco is a spreadsheet
24 votes -
The best place to drink is the emptiest bar in the city
17 votes -
Staring at the tsunami - Voltaire, optimism and selective updating
5 votes -
The circus of celebrity house tours
10 votes -
Ads don’t work that way (2014)
16 votes -
The highest-ranking penguin in the world, Sir Nils Olav III, has been promoted to Major General by the Norwegian King's Guard
41 votes -
The day women shut down Iceland
8 votes -
A weekend away after the hardest year of my life
7 votes -
Ask fashion advice and product recommendation - a thread
If you have an ask and don't feel like making a full post, shoot here and somebody may help you out. Makeup and skincare welcome too (I'm not sure if they're already counted as part of fashion :p)
12 votes -
Texas has quietly changed its abortion law - explicitly allowing abortion for premature ruptured membrane and ectopic pregnancy - how it happened
31 votes -
Why do we hesitate to say “I love you” to our friends?
30 votes -
The last campfire in Swedish society – Sommar i P1, the radio show that unifies a nation
11 votes -
Blocklayer - A compilation of homebuilding and construction calculators and templates
18 votes -
Beer-drunk raccoons terrorize Germany, chaos reigns
47 votes -
Both parents agree: The child is being harmed. Which one will the US court believe?
26 votes -
Any tips for buying clothes that fit?
First post! This may be a silly thing to ask but whenever I try clothes at the shop it feels fine but after a few days there's always some little things that nagged me (like shirt that's sticky or...
First post! This may be a silly thing to ask but whenever I try clothes at the shop it feels fine but after a few days there's always some little things that nagged me (like shirt that's sticky or pants got a bit tight if I walk or sit weird). I rarely buy new clothes so likely just lacking in experience. In case it's relevant, I'm male, skinny and has large hip.
43 votes -
Weekly thread for casual chat and photos of pets
This is the place for casual discussion about our pets. Photos are welcome, show us your pet(s) and tell us about them!
18 votes -
How a five-person team saved a dying woman on a sailboat in the Pacific Ocean
22 votes