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Can we try to talk like normal people?
If there’s one thing that kind of makes me annoyed with this site is the non stop navel gazing and iamverysmart style of writing. Like dude don’t you don’t need to write like this is a essay in a English class, just relax and chat.
Most probably won’t understand where I’m coming from but maybe a few will.
Relax and have fun, you aren’t some special unique person that’s better than all redditors.
This topic is locked. New comments can not be posted.
yay another navel gazing thread trying to police how people should contribute...
Seriously though, do you have some examples of what you're referring to? There are lots of casual conversations/discussions.
Edit: I should add, I'm probably one of the people you're talking about, but this is honestly how I write.
navel gazing begets more navel gazing
i'm sure most people here can switch between casual and formal writing if they feel like it. i know i'm opting for a formal-ish style most of the time here since well constructed sentences are a good way to make sure that you communicate what you intend to communicate. there's other places i can shitpost if i want to
I don't take issue with formal writing, but let's be fair here. Casual writing doesn't necessarily equate to bad writing and it certainly doesn't equate to "shit posting". There's space for both on Tildes.
Ah, see that's exactly what i'm saying! I definitely didn't intend to say that casual writing is equivalent to shitposting, but because I was using a more casual style it was easy to misinterpret.
I should clarify -- it's totally possible to construct a good argument using casual writing. But it's much harder since it's super easy to be vague on accident. Also, casual writing is absolutely not 'bad', just different. Shitposting just happens to usually be in a casual tone.
If I haven't said it before Catt, I like the cut of your jib :)
Aw :D
He could save others but not himself
I wouldn't agree that your writing style is at all what he's talking about—there are a good amount of people here who you know read SSC just by their style of writing, which is...off-putting.
Sorry, what's SSC? I don't recognize the acronym
Slate Star Codex: https://slatestarcodex.com/
One of the most popular "rationalist" sites.
Interesting, I've never heard of that site before in my life. Is it any good, or should I infer from Eva's comment that it's not great?
Hm. That's interesting - there's a reply button still on this locked thread. Testing.
That's only natural on a new site that doesn't really have a set culture yet. People are exploring what this site will be and what they want from it.
Like, mate, this is how I always type on the internet, and you are more than welcome to review my seven years' of Reddit history to confirm this. I, for one, am not putting on airs and graces. Im just, like, not very gud at da casul stuff, ya know?
Not to mention, isn't putting more effort into the discussion a major component of the site?
I was under the impression we wanted to eliminate low effort posts and discussion when it was not warranted.
If we wanted meta jokes, memes, childish discussion and low effort posts we would all still be back on reddit.
IAmVerySmart is the opposite of what Tildes' stated goals are.
Maybe we can agree that if any person chooses to focus on the aesthetics of a message more than its intent, perhaps that's the bigger disservice to the conversation.
Yeah I figured you’d be here. Ha. If you want a echo chamber of pseudo intellectuals circle jerking with their verbose iamverysmart garbage than go ahead. It won’t be long before tilde dies if that’s the case. There’s a way to talk without being verbose and putting on airs, that’s how normal ppl talk.
No one has said they are better than anyone but go read through the comments. The prevailing air of smugness is pretty off putting.
I don't mean to offend, but your insistence on conversing in "normal people talk" (and implication that anyone who doesn't speak like this is "a pseudo intellectuals circle jerking with their verbose iamverysmart garbage") can easily be read as you perceiving yourself to be "better than them"
Sorry it comes across that way. That’s what this topic is about so that’s what I’m focusing on. Not trying to build myself up or tear others down just trying to help.
I’ll just address the statement “you can’t have quality discussion when there’s no substance or verbose argument.”
Yes you can, the best teacher teaches in short easily understood language. The best debater uses short to the point arguments. If you need to get verbose it’s often because you don’t know the subject as well as you should.
I agree with what tildes was made for or else I wouldn’t be here.
Thanks for your input. I do find it interesting how many times I’ve been shown the door in this discussion. Real welcoming community to outside opinions. I’ll hang around but probably just lurk from now on just to see. I don’t feel this site has much future as is.
I don't think anyone wants to exclude you just to exclude you, dude. It's basically impossible for one person to quickly change the culture in an online community. So the options are to deal with it or leave, and since you sound like you don't want to deal, people are suggesting you might be happier leaving. Basically you do you, we'll be good either way. Maybe it's that you're younger than the average age here. I've noticed older people tend to write more formally. But the way people talk here seems pretty normal to me.
Edit: Or to put it another way, what do you think would happen if you went and told a subreddit they all sound really self-absorbed? I don't think you should be getting any negative response at all personally, but the feedback you're getting is pretty tame for what you might expect elsewhere.
Lol if I’m younger than the average age then it would make a lot of sense. If you all are 40’s or older that’s probably the problem. I’m pretty avg in online communities at 30 yrs old.
If that’s a insulting statement I feel bad for you all. Criticism is not insults. Good thing to learn.
Using formal English doesn't mean someone will be smug. It's entirely possible to be smug while using informal English. If smugness is what you're hoping to avoid, you're going about it the wrong way.
HackerNews still seems to be going strong though
If you're so viciously triggered by spelling, punctuation, and polysyllabic words, you should perhaps return to the imageboards from whence ye clearly came. Your insecurity and proud anti-intellectualism will revert to again being virtues, not vices.
Haha thanks man but no worries. This fella is way on the other side of the spectrum. I’d like to hope there’s some inbetween somewhere.
Hmmm nice quotes. Those were all individual statements referring to different questions or statements as answers. They were not addressed toward anyone they were pointed toward the general theme of the site and several of those were warnings of where I felt the site was headed not what it currently is.
Yup and it’s in the future tense. If you want.... then continue. That’s where it’s headed.
Tbh I’m tired of answering certain individuals you included and my answers are getting very annoyed you’re right.
Like I’ve said elsewhere (i should cut and paste this) you guys all hang out in certain parts of tilde and that’s fine. I’ll avoid there, there’s other parts that I have found that have friendly community that fits me. This is very apparent it’s my problem not yours.
Huh. That’s a nice meme you got there. Glad you’re having a nice day. Sorry for “triggering” you.
What are you personally hoping for ~ to be?
@Deimos — users seem capable of replying to their own comments on locked threads. See, this comment and https://tildes.net/~tildes/4lp/can_we_try_to_talk_like_normal_people#comment-1civ
Yeah, I'm on it. I definitely didn't just knock the site offline for a minute while fixing it.
basically reddit without the karma driven low effort and the toxicity of certain communities. I am on many small sub Reddit’s and they are wonderful places. If tilde could learn from that style I think it will have a future. If not it won’t.
I use to lurk in smaller sub-Reddits too and honestly don't see much of a difference from that and ~. Maybe it's the ~ groups that reading from? There is definitely a tone shift depending on the topic itself, but I found that on Reddit too. For example, discussing a TV show was definitely different than a super serious news article.
Alright, this thread has pretty much just devolved into bickering over tiny things now. I think both "sides" have made their point, let's find something else to do with the rest of the day.
You have a very clickbaity title here, both calling us out for not talking like normal people, which can color people already sensitive about such things against you, and trying to moralize like there’s a way normal people talk. The body of your post only vaguely adds sorely needed details to the behavior you’re trying to focus on.
All I can say is that if you’re looking to get me to talk like a normal person, good luck. I’m not normal and I don’t plan on pretending to be for your sake or anyone’s. I am who I am. I hope to meet people as they are. Nothing more.
It's the difference between Reddit and HackerNews.
On Reddit, low-effort (I know that term gets tossed around a lot), meme-ridden, inside jokes are voted up. On HN, that doesn't fly - comments are more involved; people actually write out a fair bit before hitting the submit button. Simple questions asking for more information are okay, but simple knee-jerk reactions and, yes, shitposting, are removed. This results in a comment section that reads more like an academic discussion (usually) about the OP instead of a bunch of people chit-chatting about whatever.
I prefer the HN style of involved comments, and so that's what I'm writing here. On Reddit, I tended to stay away from the short, meme-y jokes too.
That’s such a generalization of Reddit I’m not sure how to start.
I’d suggest participating in the Lounges on reddit or in any smaller community. There are some jokes and that’s fine but for the most it’s just people discussing casually all sorts of topics. It’s kind of nice. For the record I think the Lounges are really what we want tilde to look like.
Careful with this; this topic is about how you want the site to look like. It's exceptionally likely that there are lot of people who agree with you, but in a topic where there are also many who disagree, this isn't accurate.
I know the subreddits you're talking about, and I do agree - there are good smaller communities. Most of the TTRPG communities are good and have good discussions, similarly with some of the programming ones. Once a sub reaches some level of popularity (and I don't know that level), there's a notable decline in that "familiar" feeling, and it's a sad thing to see.
TTRPG?
Table top role playing games, like Dungeons and Dragons, Shadowrun, and more. I play a couple times a week with friends; it's a great way to do something with your hands and mind while just hanging out!
By the lounges do you mean /r/lounge, /r/truelounge, /r/reallounge, /r/mlplounge, /r/thehaven, or /r/IgildedKLobstah? Personally, loved /r/reallounge before I deleted my account, but /r/lounge was a shithole of circlejerking that I avoided like the plague.
Those all except lounge that place sucks. Mega- megax15 are the others I was thinking of.
I find that how I speak and how I type are usually two different dialects of the same language. Sure, I talk just like anyone else; slang, excessive hyperbole, limited vocabulary and a penchant for cursing in new and creative ways are all staples of my daily conversations. But I don't think as casually as that and because of that it actually takes more effort to type that casually. For me it's just easier to type like stereo instructions than it is someone who has been speaking English their entire life.
I really agree with you. Speaking is something that people usually learn, it's highly dependent on the environment that the person grew up in and spends most of their time in. I find that I speak differently depending on the group of people I'm with (i.e. not swearing in front of my parents). Writing, on the other hand, is largely taught. I was taught how to write, less so how to speak. Most people learn how to talk from listening to other people.
So yes, like you, I write one way, and speak another. If we all posted via text to speech programs, the site would read very differently (ignoring the plethora of typos and autocorrection failures).
i find that typing casually is pretty easy if you ignore capitalization and punctuation marks
Passive voice is certainly appropriate here; it puts emphasis on the person or object that experiences an action instead of the person or object that performs the action. In this particular case, writing in passive voice emphasizes that this is a subjective idea presented by @KilgoreTrout and they are presenting it in the non-aggressive, "I feel like this is what you should do", manner that is recommended for conflict resolution.
Sorry, as a fellow grammar enthusiast, I couldn't resist when such a minor error was accompanied by your self-description!
😂 Oi I should try that! Then I won’t annoy myself so much!
Fair enough I suppose. Idk what you mean by stereo instructions though.
I don’t write like I talk, but I also write different on forum boards than I do for a school paper or a work write up.
Stereo instructions... overly dry, technical, perhaps where the nuances of presence need to be replaced with the eloquence or even brutality of language to properly convey the depth of meaning in a message.
Think of the expression a person makes and the tone of their voice when they say "don't touch this fuckin' thing or it'll kill ya" and the way that would be expressed on a sign mounted to an electrical cabinet...
ELECTRICAL HAZARD - DO NOT TOUCH - MAY CAUSE INJURY OR DEATH
...same message, different approaches, both very concise to the point of severe, but the written version can't tilt its head slightly, raise its eyebrows, and use a grave tone of voice slightly lower than normal.
Maybe it's a long term effect of having used text-based communications for something like twenty-five years; over time you find the style of writing that best gets your point across without being misunderstood.
I love your example.
Doesn't "stereo instructions" just kill the fun, lol? I use to write creatively until I became an engineer and now I write technically. I'm honestly a little envious of people that can inject more emotion into their writing, instead of sounding like a textbook.
Yeah, probably at least a little, especially if you're talking to someone you've never met before and aren't aware of their mannerisms.
Digging down a little deeper I think I would be confident in saying that, at least for me, the closer to real-time a medium is the easier it is to lighten up. Real-time conversational mediums like IRC, whatever the current hip chat platform marketed at young IT professionals is, or even SMS messaging on your phone allow for nuanced timing and the ability to very quickly correct the flow of conversation if something has been misunderstood. Forums of all types, on the other hand, and e-mail alike, are often so slow that you really need to make sure you're understood the first time, and so I tend to become less casual about how I communicate.
Good writers, I think, are able to express a lot of subtle nuance without being overly wordy and still remain casual in how they write. I've never considered myself a good writer. I have a lot of ideas I think are just swell, but expressing them isn't always easy for me without being overly wordy. Have you ever noticed that even the most succinct people will become masters of verbosity when asked to describe a fart? With some sadness in my heart and a smile on my face, I am that guy.
Totally agree. I find that I generally use a more emoijis too to lighten up.
I find I write quite verbose, but it's honestly because I'm not a better writer. I generally know if I were willing to spend more time on my comments/posts, I could bring the word count down and still communicate the same.
Ah yeah that makes sense. Thanks for explaining.
Whoa, I feel this could totally be me!
Perhaps it has something to do with using English as a second language. Using a second language tends to trigger my self-conscious, performative, school-writing emotions. But I feel I'm in good enough control, and I can get myself understood most of the time without those emotions getting in the way.
My take is that there can be many Englishes. Maybe this is one :) It's true that I can be tone-deaf in some posts, and blue-stocking-like in others. Nevertheless, I believe that in some basic sense all our self-expressions here are valid unconditionally -- mine, yours, everyone's. I feel relaxed knowing this. Indeed, one of the reasons I hang out here is that I feel welcome and at home letting my thoughts and emotions out.
Like, I might have dressed myself in what could be read as "gender-non-conforming" by some. But in reality I just grabbed whatever clean clothes in which I felt comfortable, in the great morning haste before rushing out of home.
I love the expression, "many Englishes". I was raised by Conan the Grammarian, and wrote legal briefs, science papers, and technical/business documents professionally. [Yes, the Oxford comma FTW.] Each discipline has its own formalities and jargon, and I'm sorry to say that my writing style is worse and stuffier from navigating all of them.
However, I've avoided many online platforms because the slack writing is so grating to my "ears". Don't worry, @zoec, it's actually easier for me to read English-as-a-second-language writers than casual "conversational" native writers, because there's generally more considered composition and effort towards clarity.
I'd hope that Tildes can accommodate most of our stylistic preferences, so we can stop eternally grading ourselves and each other.
As another non-native English speaker, I agree with you completely.
Unlike our mother tounge, second languages are not learnt mainly by casual conversation but by learning it in school (mostly) where we learn more or less formal language. To speak or type using more "casual" language and slang is therefore difficult because you need to have a better understanding of the more implied and nuanced part of the language.
Edit: Reading through my reply a second time (self-conscious, yeah), I think I confuse two different matters: It is difficult to speak casually because that's not what we are learnt, and slang requires a good understanding of the language and of the culture surrounding it.
I don’t think you’ve been one of the ones I’ve noticed. English as a second language is almost always spoken better than first language ppl. That’s totally understandable and if I say anything to you about your language just ask me how many languages I speak and that’ll put me back in my place. Haha
See this thread tbh.
It's hard enough for me to write coherent sentences in English so if anything sounds weird just let me know I'm always happy to learn.
I’m sure you’re fine! There’s actually only 5-7 very active users that I just sigh and skip their comments everytime because I know it’s going to be verbose and over the top. This is addressed towards that.
Dude, just do what my wife does when she reads the drafts of my novels: keep a dictionary handy.
I need a dictionary and a couple years in snob school to keep up!!! Ha
The only snob school I attended was RTFM University in New York fuckin' City. Read enough 19th century literature, keep a good dictionary site bookmarked, and with a few years of practice you too can write prose as pretentious as the average Emerson, Lake & Palmer album.
No worries man. I went to college for polisci and English. I can write some pretentious crap and dribble. But I don’t.
Maybe you should. Get it out of your system, instead of holding it in and resenting those who write as they please instead of writing to please others. Indulge yourself for once. You know you want to.
Nope I don’t want. And I don’t resent those who do. But I do wonder what they are trying to prove.
I'm not out to prove anything. I do it because I damn well can. I do it for the sheer unholy fucking joy of it.
Why do you think they're trying to prove anything and it's not just the way the write? Honest question, just trying to understand.
I've also noticed this a bit. I don't think it's everyone, and I don't think it's all that bad, but it has stood out to me as odd a couple of times. But if you want to see more casual conversation on here, I think you should just go ahead and have it. I don't think you'll be able to change anyone's behaviour by telling them how to act, but if you just be yourself I'm sure like-minded users will follow suit.
Yup you’re right. I’m glad one other person agrees. Tbh I like reddit for its casualness. If all reddit was like askhistorians i wouldn’t bother with it. If tilde becomes all a bunch of navel gazing verbose pseudo intellectuals than you can count me out. And that’s what i see happening.
Tildes isn't Reddit, nor is it trying to be a copy of Reddit. As @Bauke points out elsewhere in this thread, Tildes is explicitly aiming for "quality content and discussion". If that's not what you're looking for, that's fine. As you say, you've always got Reddit.
There's nothing pseudo about my intellectualism.
Same here. I might just be a long-haired metalhead with delusions of erudition who dropped out of college, codes for a living, and publishes crappy sci-fi novels through a small press, but I worked my ass off to take advantage of the few opportunities luck and the kindness of others afforded me and become what I am today.
I can’t tell if you’re joking or not. If you feel you need to clear up how intellectual you are than idk what to tell you. Lol.
I'm not joking. You're throwing around the phrase "pseudo intellectual" as if we're just a bunch of not-smart people trying to be what we're not. Well, I'm not trying to be what I'm not. I am what I am, as the saying goes.
And, worse than calling us fakes, you're behaving as if being intellectual, or even aspiring to be intellectual, is somehow a bad thing and something to be discouraged here on Tildes (or anywhere you want to hang out on the internet). I'm not copping that. I am intelligent, literate, and erudite, and I will not accept having someone imply that this is a bad thing.
Alright this is getting way out of hand. You can act however you like and write however you like. I have nothing against being intellectual. The smartest people I know don’t have to prove it in their daily conversation. In ~science and others like that I expect to see intelectual comments. Outside that I was just wondering if we could relax and chat rather than stay in this over the top prose. The answer is no you can’t and you’re pissed that I even felt like this needed a discussion. So that’s that.
Please could you explain what you mean by this? I'm sure you're not meaning to, but this comes across as insulting the way certain people speak.
Man everyone wants to be insulted. It’s a pretty solid piece of advice. If you’re insulted by it then it’s time to step back and wonder why.
Something to contemplate, were introspection not anathema to you.
I’m sure you can see how being said to be a pseudo intellectual can be interpreted poorly.
It’s what a lot of comments are. I haven’t pointed a finger at anyone or any comment. If you take offense at this then idk what to tell you. It isn’t my goal to call ppl out just a request to not be so try hard.
Maybe it would. I got my answer anyways that this community is happy with being self absorbed and would rather see long verbose comments rather than to the point casual communication. That’s fine. I won’t be found in those areas which is unfortunate but that’s my problem not yours.
You're sort of jumping between it's 5-7 people and "this community" without any examples. I've been following this topic for a bit now, and I honestly am still not sure what behaviour you're talking about.
I refer to the 5-7 ppl as a community because in the circle they post in you will find them as the top comment in almost every thread.
i mean you attacked him without knowing anything about him, what did u expect him to do? roll over?
Wait a second. I attacked someone? I’ve left every comment vague because I don’t want to point fingers because that just offends. I have not attacked anyone.
Son, you have implied Tildes to be
amid
...and you have implied posters to be navel-gazing pretentious snobs, "over the top", and other things. Pretending you're a paragon of virtue because you haven't called anyone out by name is pure sophistry. It's transparent, disingenuous, and clearly done in bad faith.
Not pretending to be anything. I stated elsewhere it’s 5-7 users. You can take it how you want but I did not personally attack anyone. I simply wrote as I see it from my week or two of being here.
you either implied he was a pseudointellectual or was less than you because he felt the need to clarify his intelligence
I think you should re read that exchange.
dont get me wrong i dont think it was ur intent to do so, but you did do that.
have u ever read "how to win friends and influence people" by dale carnegie? it's a good read and i think you'll realize you unintentionally imply or attack people more often than you think - i know i have this problem and it took me a while to really realize what was going on
hell i still do it unintentionally all the time... communication is hard, yo
Nah man, you don't want to fuck with Algernon_Asimov. They've shown to be very smart. One of that few posters here I've noticed by name because of how uniquely good some of their comments have been. Also it's not iamverysmart behavior every single time someone considers themselves an intellectual.
Mine is hairy with a chance of lint today.
The most appropriate response in this trainwreck of a topic. :D
Of all the issues in the world, this is the one you want to troll? If you're serious, I feel for anyone sharing a dinner table with you.
hey, be nice! they're just saying they think we need to collectively relax a bit. which... we do need to do that
i mean u right, but also it's no reason to be mean and uptight about things yknow?
Hmmmm. This looks like bait. I’ll pass thanks for the offer.
For what it's worth, I type pretty casual and no one has had an issue with it at all... I mean, I try to make every post more than a one liner, but I am not trying to do anything but convey my point or share my opinion. I lean very different politically than probably 90% of the people here and I have no "higher education", but I still find polite conversation and debate with everyone i've come across so far. I haven't really seen more than a handful of comments I would say need to "chill out". But that's just my experience.
Like I’ve said elsewhere it’s mainly a few users and it’s prompted by threads about limiting the number of users and vulgar usernames among others. I haven’t seen too many casual comments called out but I have seen a couple.
On a similar note, let's all be civil. Don't jump on people for asking questions that come off as genuine. Give the benefit of the doubt at first please. And if they aren't 100% on topic just relax and try and rein it in politely.
Thanks man. It’s always a good reminder. I’ve actually introduced this idea of a weekly selfie thread on several forums. Sounds dumb but it helps us remember the username is associated to a person. That helps me be more civil!
Definitely, a small benefit of a doubt can go a long way.
Haha. I feel like I might have collided heads with a couple people. Need to straighten back up and quit.
Jokes and light hearted conversation often communicate much more than verbose essay with ten references. Or so I find. But I don’t know much.
I think there's a time and place for both... if my goal is to educate and I know the person I'm replying to or someone on their "side" is going to reply questioning whether what I'm saying is true or not, I'm gonna include ten references and write something longer to ensure there's no miscommunication for them to pick on.
If someone's asking about my favorite music preferences or hobbies or fav car or whatever then no it's gonna be a much shorter message
FOUND THE NAVEL GAZER!
Jokes aside, I could not agree with what you're saying more than I already do @dubteedub. I think we really need to stop the comments trying to police how people do stuff, how we say things, and how we interact with each other and just start the site the way we want to and figuring it out. If someone doesn't want to read the essay that I wrote about [x] then they can just not vote for that and move on. I don't understand trying to change everyone else to fit one's own needs. Especially at this phase of development, one can certainly make changes just through activity.
"Be the change you want to see in the world." -dtd probably
Is dtd your father, dubs?
Since I already think of you as "dubs" this will be very easy.
It’s not telling anyone how to act. It’s a observation and a request. If that’s how you want to comment this thread proves there are plenty who enjoy that style too and you will have company.
You absolutely are telling people how to act:
"Can we try to talk like normal people?"
"you don’t need to write like this is a essay in a English class"
"just relax and chat"
I find it hard to interpret those statements in any way other than you telling us how to behave on Tildes.
That’s a request hence the question mark. And two suggestions. Take them as you will.
Whether you intend it as such or not, your choice of words will ultimately set the tone in written mediums. Whereas a vocal discussion allows you to hear inflections in someone's voice to help determine emotional state and overall intent, written mediums don't allow for that. This is probably much of what you interpret as "iamverysmart" writing--people are just trying their best to make sure that the lack of vocal inflection in written mediums doesn't cause others to misinterpret what they're trying to say, so they carefully word and structure their comments accordingly.
This is an important skill for anyone to have, otherwise civility can degrade quickly on this site because of misunderstandings.
Lol. My man I’ve been on forums and chat boards for 10 years. I think I understand how text works. If you go into a subject looking to be offended I’m sure anyone can be offended at any statement. If you notice I haven’t taken offense yet at all the comments thrown at me. I’ve been told at least 3 times that tilde is probably not for me and had a couple insults thrown at me and that’s fine. I understand. Like i told someone else I won’t be bothering this group of users anymore (they tend to hang out in just a few areas) I’ll avoid that and we will be fine.