My father died suddenly

In a few days my dad will have been gone for 2 months. I'm his only biological child and he has 2 stepsons. I've been feeling like I'm grieving 'the wrong way' but that in itself is not a source of stress or anything. I've been spending so much time doing other things that I've been distracted from having enough quiet moments to reflect on his passing and remember all that I can about him. I'm also not the type of person that can cry easily (not a sociopath lol). We weren't super close but I believe we had an understanding; this is a common father-son dynamic I think. Although, I do feel terrible that he won't be around to see me hit all the milestones of adulthood that I know he would be proud of. But I do know that he was proud of me for some things because he made sure to tell me. I also feel like I don't know how to fully be there for my mother who just lost her partner of 30+ years; I can't imagine the scale of her grief. Any words of wisdom are appreciated.

It might be worth mentioning that he was an alcoholic, as am I (sober 1 year next month). This of course was a factor in his death but not the only thing. I'm very grounded in the reality of what happened and why it happened which I think makes others surprised by my 'tough exterior' or whatever. I feel like I can go on forever but I'll leave this post short.

Others are welcome to share cool stories about their dads :^)