(Obligatory disclaimer: Yes, I know the difference between a "theory" and a "hypothesis". I'm using the colloquial usage of the term. I'm not submitting a formal paper here.)

I figured a post like this now and then might be a little fun. I wanted to discuss a little theory of mine about the Mario universe. As the title suggests, the short version is that Mario is a dictator.

This theory hinges on one important point: There are inconsistencies within the stories that are told about Mario's adventures that suggest that his exploits are fabricated.

Let's begin with the most central theme in Mario's adventures: The repeated kidnappings of Peach. Consider for a moment that in every kidnapping event, Peach has had less-than-stellar security detail--typically none at all--despite the number of kidnapping events that have occurred over the years. If arguably the most high-profile member of a kingdom is being kidnapped on a regular basis, you would expect their security detail to be significantly greater than it's consistently shown to be, so why is it always so lax? The three most logical explanations are either a) the security detail is actually much tighter than is shown and Bowser is just that much stronger, b) the security detail is thinned out before every kidnapping event due to a coordination between Bowser and an insider in the mushroom kingdom, or c) there are no kidnappings at all and they're merely being portrayed as such.

We can eliminate option (a) fairly easily: Are we really expected to believe that an ordinary plumber can single-handedly take out an entire kingdom that an entire other kingdom was unable to stand against while their princess was captured? This plumber has no military training whatsoever, and we're expected to believe that he can stand against an entire army by himself? Unlikely.

That leaves us with two logical explanations: Either the kidnappings are coordinated on the inside, or the kidnappings are completely fabricated. Deciding which of the two is the most likely requires further considerations.

With that in mind, you may be wondering if there's any support for either of those accusations, so let's first discuss Bowser himself. Specifically, let's discuss his physical traits. He's a scary-looking dude, no doubt. But Bowser is clearly not a creature that evolved for aggressive behavior. If we examine his build from an evolutionary perspective, we can see that he has a large and bulky shell; his claw strikes are powerful, but slow; his fire generally lacks range or (in the case of earlier Mario games where range was better) sustained use, and its speed is generally terrible; and he can't move quickly at all, except in short bursts. All of these traits suggest a creature that isn't built for aggressive, offensive action, but for self-defense. A creature like Bowser is unlikely to attack another kingdom at all, unless he's acting in self-defense or given some other form of incentive.

Now, between the remaining two options, we again have either an inside job or a fabrication. Without deciding yet which it is, let's at least consider this: If it really is an inside job, there are only two ways in which someone could stand to benefit:

1. Mario would stand to benefit due to receiving and perpetuating his status as a hero, so he would have to have some kind of way to incentivize Bowser to coordinate with him, otherwise Bowser wouldn't have any need to work with him. If Mario really is a plumber, however, then there is absolutely no way he would have the wealth or political leverage for Bowser to benefit in that relationship. It's possible that he was a plumber at first, but ended up becoming a puppet to Bowser, but in no situation does Mario remain a plumber if we're to assume that he's continually coordinating with Bowser, otherwise he would have no way to deal with the increased security detail.
2. Peach isn't actually being kidnapped, but is attempting to escape the kingdom with Bowser's help. If Mario is actually an independent dictator rather than a puppet, then it would stand to reason that prior royalty would want to escape in order to avoid harm. In this case, it's easy for a coordinated escape with another kingdom to be portrayed as a kidnapping.

So, to quickly recap, we have inconsistencies in the security detail, in the antagonist, and in the protagonist. These already suggest that the stories of Mario's exploits may not be at all what they're portrayed as.

With the above in mind, let's take a look at one more damning detail about Mario himself: The mushroom peoples are said to have transformed into bricks, yet Mario has no qualms with destroying them throughout his adventures.

With everything above in mind, we can see the following narrative fall into place:

1. The mushroom people were never turned into bricks. It's a false story used as a dehumanization tactic in order to justify Mario's murder of innocent people. It's pretty easy to justify killing your own people, after all, if you convince people that a brick wall was erected and had to be destroyed so you could save the princess, so the loss of those transformed people was necessary.
2. Mario isn't really a plumber. It's possible that he was at one point, but he definitely can't be anymore.
3. Mario's exploits are either staged, or he's continually re-kidnapping a fleeing princess seeking refuge in another kingdom and the kidnapping is being portrayed as a rescue.

Now, a final important point: Over time, we've seen the narrative shift in Bowser's reasons for kidnapping Peach. The most recent case was an attempted marriage in Odyssey. It stands to reason that, as a dictator, Mario has to continue controlling the narrative as news leaks out regarding foreign events, e.g. a marriage between a "kidnapped" princess and a foreign ruler. The continuous stream of foreign news and gossip could install doubt about your prior narratives--"Why is our princess marrying someone from another kingdom? Was she even really kidnapped or did she run away?"--and force you to adopt a new one--"The princess is being forced into an unwanted marriage by her kidnapper!". This is a far different narrative than those cases where Bowser was said to want to destroy the mushroom kingdom.

We can therefore establish that Mario's image is absolutely essential. Any crack in his portrayal as a hero could cause the mushroom people to revolt, so he needs to assert control in any way possible. Thus, he will create any narrative necessary to paint himself as a hero and to make himself more relatable, and to make his adversaries as monstrous as possible. It's also particularly unlikely that he's Bowser's puppet, otherwise we wouldn't expect Bowser to allow himself to be thwarted so frequently, something that would make him appear weak to his own people and threaten his place. It's far more likely that Mario is acting independently and losing his grip on his narrative.

So the story that seems to have the least inconsistent narrative is as follows:
Mario is a dictator who wants to appeal to the working class by being viewed as a plumber, so the citizens of the Mushroom kingdom will think "he's a true blue collar worker, he's one of us!". Peach isn't actually being kidnapped, but is attempting to flee from Mario's dictatorship and seek refuge in the Koopa Kingdom. Mario continually assaults the Koopa Kingdom in order to re-kidnap Peach. In the process, he ends up murdering countless sympathizers who try to aid in her escape, or even uses the opportunity to destroy his opposition in a way that's easy to brush off. During all of this, he continually pumps out propaganda about Peach being kidnapped when she's really seeking asylum and about his heroic rescues when he's really taking his own army with him, paints Bowser as a villain, and dehumanizes his victims and normalizes their murder. In addition, because of his clear readiness to dehumanize his own people, it's likely that Bowser and the rest of the Koopa Kingdom are also being dehumanized and portrayed as monsters in order to justify the slaughtering of countless foreign people and to help instill fear and anger among the mushroom people. Peach and Bowser have also likely fallen in love and attempted to marry, but Mario continues to lay siege on Koopa Kingdom in order to kidnap Peach, and Mario's propaganda network paints this marriage as a forced one between an unwilling Mushroom Kingdom princess and a terrifying and ruthless Bowser.

In short: Mario is dictator using a propaganda network in order to paint himself favorably while painting his adversaries as monsters or objects in order to justify mass murder and prevent a fleeing princess from seeking asylum in a foreign kingdom.

What are your thoughts? Have I made any critical errors? Is there more evidence that I missed that supports this theory? Do you have an alternative theory you'd like to share?

(If you notice any typos or repeated sections, please let me know. This took a while to write up, so it's possible that I missed something.)

I try (and fail) to play regularly on lichess under the username dear_sirs. I also have an account under the same name on chess.com.

Feel free to drop usernames in the comments below, or send me a challenge for a correspondence game--I would love to play you!

No, not the PC classes in your game - the classes that describe the people you play the game with.

Mister Fantastic: Every single number on this player's character sheet has been optimized beyond comprehension to be at least 20% higher than you thought was possible, and it's all legal. Reading one of his sheets will teach you about traits, feats, and rules you never knew existed. Often mumbles cryptic, one-word answers while barely paying attention that end ongoing rules discussions leaving the other players with blank faces. His characters are nearly invincible except for one small key weakness (AC 26 at level 1, but with a CMD of 5). This player can typically one-shot the BBEG and reverse the party's fortunes in a single round. If he's charmed or dominated it will result in a TPK unless dealt with instantly.

The Veteran: A quiet fellow wearing a T-Shirt that says, "Don't tell me about your character: just play." He's never flashy, and seems to do very little, content to let everyone else play and have fun. Always prepared for any situation when no one else is. More likely to aid other players than act directly. He'll only involve himself when everyone else is making a mess out of things, and when he does wake up, his ability to deal with any given situation leaves Mister Fantastic green with envy. Has been known to kill BBEGs via roleplaying. Has the ability to summon natural 20s on demand but rarely uses it. The GM often consults with him on rules issues.

Negative Diplomacy: No matter the class or the character's abilities, whenever this player opens their mouth to talk to someone who isn't in the party, you know the group is going to be in combat to the death in less than three rounds. The GM is uniquely powerless to prevent this from happening. His superpower is always knowing the worst possible in-character thing to say.

Milla Vanilla: Every character this person plays is the exact same thing - even when playing different classes. For whatever reason, this player cannot mentally step into the shoes of their character, and ends up on endless repeat. Often not noticeable until one has played multiple games with this person and notices that their ninja assassin is remarkably similar in temperament to their paladin.

The Conspiracy Theorist: This player is convinced that every single thing that happens is part of some grand tapestry and he is on a mission to figure it out. Often obsesses over small details, makes bizarre (sometimes nonsensical) connections between events, places, and facts. Your worst fear is that he's giving the GM ideas. It's confirmed when some of his wilder predictions come to pass later in the game.

Aaron Justicebringer: The kind of perma-lawful good holy crusader who walks into a tavern and announces, "Greetings! I am Aaron Justicebringer. You may flee if you wish." He's on a mission to smite evil. Since he's always got detect evil running, he finds quite a lot of it and smites often, without concern for trivialities like local customs, ettiquette, roleplaying, and plot. This player always plays crusader types.

Kaboom: Kaboom likes loves lives to set things on fire. Often a wizard or sorcerer, and the kind of fellow who can reduce six enemies to ash in a single round (even if those were six fire elementals). Flaming spells, flaming daggers, flaming hair, and one can track him across Golarion just by following the smoke. Unfortunately, that's all he's good for. Kaboom is a blunt instrument, best kept wrapped in asbestos until the party finds a target he can be aimed at in a location that hasn't got too much potential for collateral damage. This player comes in non-fire flavors too.

Sleepy Pete: Sleepy Pete has a wife, six kids, and a stressful day job. By the time he makes it to the session, he's been clinically dead for two hours already. He'll be asleep within an hour of starting, even faster if food or alcohol is involved. Sleepy Pete is also prone to missing sessions with little forewarning. You're not even sure what his character or personality is because you've been given almost no opportunity to observe him in a conscious state.

Brandon The Builder: A player who in all other ways is relatively normal, Brandon must never be given downtime in any way, shape, or form. With a full set of item crafting feats and flawless mastery of the downtime rules, Brandon will not only rule the entire kingdom in less than six months, he'll find a way to provide every single party member with a Headband of Mental Superiority, Belt of Physical Perfection, two +5 Tomes or Manuals of their choice, and a well staffed keep while doing it.

Broken Billy: This player has no comprehension of the mathematical progression of the games he plays. Instead, he jumps at the first thing he finds that sounds cool. This leaves him with a hodgepodge of abilities that quickly become useless as the game progresses, leaving poor Billy more and more frustrated as the game goes on. Broken Billy steadfastly ignores all advice and all warnings given to him by the GM and more experienced players. Prone to having five first level classes on his fifth level character.

The Novice Namer: Never good at coming up with names, this player has given birth to many legendary heroes: Bob the Barbarian, Robert the Ranger, and who could forget Sheldon the Sorcerer.

The Knife Hoarder: For whatever reason, this player insists on having at least 2 knives on his belt and 4 hidden on his person. He'll never actually use these knives, but as they'd say "just in case."

The 1-Leaf-Clover: This person's dice are trying to kill him. Oh he might roll a natural 20 to get a cheap room at the inn or tell if an item is masterwork (its not), but the second he's in combat, the most you can expect is a 12 or 13.

The iGenie: Only looks away from his laptop when his name is said three times.

The Bookworm: If not taking an action, is found face first in a book looking for a rare never before seen rule that will get him out of the in-game situation. There has got to be rule specifically for negotiating with a different race to reduce the price of a toll. There just has to be!

Secretly Evil: This player almost always plays a Wizard/Sorcerer and takes a Necromantic path. They'll write a sizable and traumatic back-story. Then in game they'll never do or say anything evil in front of the group(in or out of character). In fact, they'll do very little in general. Instead they wait until everyone is gone and tell the DM what evil things they actually did while "no one was looking".

You should try FATAL: Makes all their characters and every encounter somehow revolve around sex.

Spellsaver: Spellcaster that never casts their spells because they think the next fight is going to be harder.

The Lore Keeper: This player may not be the most talkative person at the table, but that's possibly because they're too busy writing down every even happening in the game. Conversations, shared loot, timelines, and character sketches -- this player is devoted to the story, and keeps track of all of it.

What are we missing?

(Some inspiration from this old reddit thread.)

Alex Bruce gave a pair of talks at GDC 2014 on the development process of Antichamber (trailer)

In the first talk he talked about the journey from Unreal mod to full game, presenting at game festivals, networking, the grueling work of getting the game to market, and the lessons he learned along the way:

Antichamber: An Overnight Success, Seven Years In The Making

In the second talk he went over the iterative design process, and how he tweaked things based on how people interacted with the game (spoilers):

Antichamber: Three Years of Hardcore Iteration

There isn't really a great mechanic for learning skills and languages in dungeons and dragons. This makes it a bit lacking if there is a certain amount of off-time between adventures and missions. It would be cool to think some sort of mundane dnd. Like mini-games in video game RPGs that make your character a little bit more personal. A quirks mechanic, that adds a certain way your character acts in the every day or what your character normally does. The risk is that it could turn into too much of a dice roller and the players might engage less with the story. What do you think?

The back story is that I’m currently deciding whether to get a PS4 or a Nintendo Switch.

But instead of just a “what’s your fave” thread I want to take this opportunity to turn it into a proper discussion which console you think is filling the casual gamer needs better, why and how. Including the games

Now, my personal feeling – and I never owned a game console before myself, but have gamed on the PC before – it seems to me like Nintendo is trying to cater to the casual gamer who wants to wind down and perhaps play some fun games with friends during a party. While Sony and Microsoft seem to me to aim more at gamers who want a more immersive experience and play either alone or if with others in a more competitive/rival way.

Here's the link to the overall sale page: https://www.fanatical.com/flash-game-sale

Deals so far:

1. Moonlighter - 25% off ($14.99)
2. Sir, You Are Being Hunted - 98% off ($0.49)
3. My Time at Portia - 35% off ($12.99)
4. War for the Overworld - 80% off ($5.99)
5. PLAYERUNKNOWN's BATTLEGROUNDS - 43% off ($16.99)
6. Space Rangers HD: A War Apart - 85% off ($2.24)
7. The Longest Journey Pack - 83% off ($4.99)
8. Human: Fall Flat - 66% off ($5.09)
9. Redout: Enhanced Edition - 73% off ($9.49)
10. LEGO Worlds - 66% off ($10.19)
11. Lords of the Fallen Game of the Year Edition - 87% off ($3.99)
12. Expeditions: Viking - 60% off ($11.99)

I've recently played really good game of Secret Hitler, so I wanted to let you know about it. If you don't know Secret Hitler, it's great game and I'll briefly describe it below. You can play it online, for free, without ads at secrethitler.io (opensource). You can as well buy it, or even just download pdf, print it and play with paper cards!

Secret Hitler summary

Game for 5-10 players, tabletop. Players are divided to Fascists and Liberals. One of fascists is Hitler. Fascists knows who is who, but Liberals don't know anything. There is chancellor and president, players vote them and they elect laws (president receives 3 laws, 1 discards, 2 passes to chancellor, which discards 1 law and the other one passed). Fascists win, as 6 F laws passed or Hitler was elected as chancellor with 3 or more F laws. Liberals win, if 5 L laws passed or Hitler was killed. If you want to know more, watch some gameplay at YouTube, it's really interesting game about lying to people and manipulating them. And if you will be interested in the game, we might play it together online :-)

I was a Fascist. Right on the first turn as president, I got 3 Fascists laws and I selected Hitler as chancellor - I had to because of order and it would be suspicious not to do so. So I passed him the laws and he of course had to pass Fascist law. But then, he peaked (because 3rd F law passed) at top three cards and lied about it (said FFL, was FLL). Because of this, everyone, after few turns which revealed he lied, started suspecting him. When the liberals had 4 laws passed, I tried as hard as I could to defend Hitler - he just missclicked (no, he would told us!), you know it. After about 10 minute discussion, my propose was rejected, someone else elected as Chancellor and Liberals won the game.

Leave your own stories in comments and be sure to tell, if you would like to play this with other people here, it's wonderful game. And if you would like to, I have other stories - for example when we (IRL) played Secret Hitler to 3 AM, and at the last but one turn, everyone went extremely suspicious and we played one turn almost hour and half (I don't lie about this, I started to measure it after 20 minutes of discussion).

The new expansion for World of Warcraft is supposed to drop in about a month. Thought I'd see if any of you Tilderoos play WoW and what you think of it. I have been playing on and off since I was a kid and I've been having tons of fun with the introduction of the Mythic+ system in Legion. I'd love to hear about people's WoW stories and experiences with the game!

These have been fairly popular and I really like hearing from the community, so here's this week's thread.

I've been playing Golf Story for the Switch (got it on recent sale). I've found it relaxing and amusing, a good combo for evening wind-down. I'm not sure if I mastered the mechanics yet, putting is surprisingly hard when you can't see the slope in 3D. Story is fun, and the variety in courses is refreshing, highly recommended.

Just purchased Football Manager 2018. I'm not actually a football fan or anything, I just really like the RPG-like nature of assembling a good team and seeing my amateur tactics play out on the field. Games can be surprisingly tense and exciting. I wish I had a deeper understanding of the game, but it's fun enough regardless.

I finished my second Mass Effect original trilogy run two days ago, and today is one year since I first played ME. Below I have my goodbye to my second Shepard, Alana, a Renegade Vanguard. (Spoilers below)

Alana Shepard

October 18th, 2017, to June 23rd, 2018

Alana Shepard was not what you might think of when you think of a hero. Born on Earth, she was orphaned at a young age, and survived on the streets of some of the planet’s worst slums. Though the vids told the story of her enlisting in the Alliance Navy, she was essentially conscripted. Even as an untrained 18 year old, her biotics made her a danger to herself and others.

The structure of the Navy changed Shepard’s life, but it didn’t change who she was. Both the anger she harbored from her abandonment and the stubborn determination that kept her alive on the streets remained. Her rage drove her to kill countless Batarians on Torfan, despite the loss of her squad. Her actions on Torfan were at once monstrous and impressive, and they caught the eye of the N7 program. The Butcher of Torfan became one of the Alliance’s top operatives.

Watching Alana Shepard fight was awesome in the truest sense of the word. That a combatant could be so efficient and powerful was beautiful; that she might be heading for you next was terrifying. Many wondered if, somehow, her unknown parents were Krogan and Turian. In each of her biotic charges, there was the power of a Battlemaster and the precision of a Legionnaire. It was this combat prowess that drew Shepard and Garrus Vakarian together.

As the saying goes, there is no Shepard without Vakarian. Alana and Garrus were partners on and off the battlefield, ever since Garrus’ stint as Archangel on Omega. Despite all the bullets that tried, the only thing to make it past their armor was their love for one another. This love kept them at each other’s side all the way to the conduit.

On the Citadel, Alana Shepard did what she did best. When the Catalyst was done speaking to her, she leveled her pistol, and fired. This failed to activate the Crucible, dooming her cycle to be defeated by the Reapers. The same strength that helped Alana resist the Reapers in the entire campaign was her undoing. Alana Shepard was not what you might think of when you think of a hero, because she could not save the galaxy in its darkest hour.

I do intend to come back to these games, as I feel there are at least a few more Shepards whose stories I need to tell. That said, I will be waiting a bit longer before I start my next run, either starting on N7 day, or next summer on the two year anniversary from my start. I'm open to discussion, either about Mass Effect (I've only played the OT), or about Alana Shepard.

The steam sale has been going on for a few days now. I'd like to start a discussion on recommendations for games that might not immediately grab attention or were given bad reviews at launch or really any criteria at all.

Recommend something!

So. I'm Dming a group and this night we had an unusually large session. We just added in a new PC who will be joining us for the remainder of the campaign and a visiting friend who was a guest character for the night.

The PC had successfully managed to get into the favor of a local Baron, who invited them all to dinner. The guest was playing a premade character, the bastard son of the baron who had just returned home hoping to earn his asshole father's respect.

So dinner goes fine, the Baron is a smarmy asshole and a monster attacks. After a very tough fight the PCs are victorious. Then things get weird. The son goes to the Baron to tell him of the victory and they have a moment. Fearing his father losing interest, the son then lied and told the baron that there was a treasure trove of a caravan down waiting for him at the foot of the 200ft tall hill the Baron's castle is located on. The pair start walking down, the son the whole time trying to think of some way to get out of the lie he made.

The other PCs follow them outside and stop at the top of the hill, and one of them says, "You know, that Baron was a real asshole. Be a real shame if something heavy happened to fall on him from this high up."

A quick investigation later and they find a 200lb barrel of tar in a barn. One of the PCs, who is both good aligned and canonically an idiot, tries to stop them and gets knocked the fuck out and tied up. The remaining PCs manage to lift the barrel, carry it to the top of the hill, and then toss it.

Meanwhile, the son is nailing his charisma rolls against his father and soon has him eating out of his hand. They get to the bottom of the hill and the father for the first time in the son's entire life tells him he's proud of him.

And then a 200lb barrel of tar lands on the Baron after falling 200ft, instantly killing him.

What follows is a roaring rampage of revenged that killed one PC and nearly killed another, so in the end we decided to take everything after the boss fight as a non-cannon fever dream the whole party had.

It was probably the hardest I have ever laughed during a D&D session in my entire life.

I love this game.